We're Here to Help - 31: Crap Rat

Episode Date: November 30, 2023

Jake and Gareth talk to callers about a surprise trip abroad and an unusual nickname. Plus, they end the episode with a quick call with a special guest.  Check out our We’re Here to Help ...sweatshirts, hats, and tote bags at heretohelppod.com! Want to call in? Email your question to helpfulpod@gmail.com. If you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts. Follow the show on Instagram @HereToHelpPod and TikTok also at @HereToHelpPod See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 all right here we go all right jake Jake, Gareth, Brian, New Girl. We're here. We're here to help. You know what we do. We got a fun show. The best podcast in the world. Number one podcast in the world. We got a fun show today.
Starting point is 00:00:37 Yes, we have a great problem up top. You know, we met through improv. That's a big yes and. Nice connection. There you go. Sometimes. That's a big yes and. And yeah. Nice connection. There you go. And sometimes in life you have to yes and. Yes and. And then to our second call, you've also.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Second call, we kind of have to dig for a second, but then there's a. There's connections to our life too. Enjoy the show. Wait, oh, goodbye. Bye. Bye. Hello, welcome to the show i'm glad to be here thanks for having me great can we get your name your location and what you're calling about uh my name is zach i'm calling from south dakota and uh what yeah, South Dakota. Um,
Starting point is 00:01:26 wanted to, uh, get your guys's perspective on, uh, a situation that I found myself in. Um, first, Zach,
Starting point is 00:01:33 how old are you? What's our, what's our zone here? Oh, I'm 28 years old. 28. What do you do for work? I work in accounting.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Accounting. Cool. Exciting. Got any siblings? Yep. I have one younger brother. He's 26. Little baby bro.
Starting point is 00:01:52 26. Little baby bro. Yeah, it's nice. I heard you, Jake. It's, you know. What's your signs, Zach? Okay. This is just sort of.
Starting point is 00:02:02 I'm a Gemini. I don't know. You don't know signs. Difference between California and South Dakota. What's your birthday? June 1st. June 1st? Yep.
Starting point is 00:02:14 You're a Gemini. You are a Gemini, my man. Hey. You and Jake are... Zach, I can't believe you said June 1st, and my dumb ass didn't do the math. I'm May 28th, Gemini. All right, my twin.
Starting point is 00:02:25 Two-faced. Zach, let's shoot. What's our problem today? All right. All right. Zach, let's, why don't we get into this? Now we're loose. Now we're loose.
Starting point is 00:02:32 Yeah, it's great that you got all those swings in. So, Zach, I feel like we know you pretty well. Got a baby brother, all that stuff. What's the problem? What's going on with you? What's up? So, a couple weeks back, got a wedding invite in my email. I started going through it, and it's fairly standard,
Starting point is 00:02:53 but I found it's a destination wedding in Munich, Germany. The happy couple looks great. They have a picture in here and wearing his plaid pants. A good look. And the problem I'm facing here is I'm confident that I've never met these people in my entire life. And somehow it gets to my email. So that's where I'm looking for some advice. Wow. Does it have your name on it?
Starting point is 00:03:32 It does. It has my full name, my email, my full name. You really, really don't think you've ever, seriously, you don't think you have, you have no clue who these people are. I do not have have a clue who they are so the question is what do you do do you go to the wedding do you spam them or do you yes and into the galaxy like a gemini would yeah hey zach yeah yeah is there a world where you can take some time off and go to Germany? Is this a reality for you? Well, you know, I, I brought this up to a number of people because just how does somebody get my, my direct email address for something like this? Um, one of those was my girlfriend asked me to submit it to you guys
Starting point is 00:04:27 because you had the fake Jake situation. I know in case of mistaken identity. And one of the other people that I brought it up to was my boss, and she cleared it. She said, you can take the time off if you want to go and check this thing out. I'm 100% ready to pitch. I'm 100% ready to pitch. I'm 100% ready to pitch. This might be our shortest call.
Starting point is 00:04:48 Here's what I would say, Zach. I would say bring your girlfriend, take a wonderful vacation to Germany. Great country. And the wedding is just one part of your European vacation, but you have a story forever for you guys. And now this is an excuse to take a European vacation. Your boss already cleared it. The peak of it, when you get there, get them a gift.
Starting point is 00:05:17 And when they say, who are you? You say, I feel the same way about you, but you invited me. And then have a printout of the invitation with your name on it. That's what I was going to say, I feel the same way about you, but you invited me. And then have a printout of the invitation with your name on it. That's what I was going to say, too. I don't think you do. There's no need for you to pretend to be someone that you're not. They sent it to you. You don't know who the hell these people are, but you got invited.
Starting point is 00:05:40 So just go. There might be something at this wedding that is the answer to all the problems here. Might be. Yeah. I think this is a hundred percent. Germany is great. Germany's vacation is great. I think.
Starting point is 00:05:57 Having a plan. Whatever you can do, however much you want to broaden it out. But even if it's just going to the wedding and taking a week and just hanging out in Germany with your girlfriend, this is a great reason to do it. It is a hilarious story. Incredible. I can't wait for a follow-up call where you tell us what they don't know you. It was an accident or these, you met them or whatever. Yeah. Also, Zach, I wouldn't lean in there when you get to that wedding. First of all, is there a chance you're going to do this?
Starting point is 00:06:28 Where do you think you're at percentage-wise? I think there's some logistical things we'd have to work through next September. There'd be time. You got plenty of time. The other thing is I did find somebody who has my exact name. There's not that many people that share my exact name. There's a guy in Wisconsin. Here's what you could do because I could tell you got a little bit of guilt about it.
Starting point is 00:06:57 So I would reach out to Wisconsin Zach. I would find him either on Instagram or Facebook. And if you can't find him, you can't find it. But I would do a solid day of trying. If he gets back to you and goes, I don't know who those people are either, man, then it's your duty to go to the wedding, get him a great gift and tell him congratulations and not bring up the fact that you don't know them and they don't know you. When they say, if somebody says like, how do you know the bride and groom? You go, I was invited to the wedding. And lean into the fact that you're just there.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Go ahead, Garth. I stick to option one. I know you were a little apprehensive. You're a Gemini, babe. But I would go. You got invited. I would go. And when anyone asks, just be like, I don't know why I got invited.
Starting point is 00:07:44 But my girlfriend and I were excited. I RSVP'd. I'm here to have a great time. And then the Germans are known for their great senses of humor. They'll love it. Zach, what do you think you're going to do here? Where are you at? As much as I'd like to just go and and and wedding crash in Germany, I think. Not wedding crash. I kind of like the idea. What? Yeah, well, that's right. I like the idea of of at least giving it a shot reaching out to this other guy that's because you that's because you're a gemini like me that's what i would do weak but you know there is there is always that option
Starting point is 00:08:15 that possibly maybe i should know these people from somewhere but i guess the the first steps probably to to check out whether he's all right, I think you've answered what you're going to do. You're a weak Gemini, so you're going to do that. You're such a Capricorn, dude. I always say, WWOW, what would Owen Wilson do? Add a D to my acronym. But okay, so there you go. Well, if you end up going, because I think if this guy is like,
Starting point is 00:08:44 I don't know what you're talking about you've got to go if you do reach out to us and let us know i agree i agree if he doesn't know who they are either it's got to be me and if you just suddenly think to yourself you know what i want to actually have fun with life grab its reins and ride along leave that weak star sign of yours go for it. You're such a Libra, dude. You're not even close to what my- You're such a Cancer. No, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:09:11 Take it easy. You're such an other sign. You're such an Aries. No. I think it's Aries. Aries. You're such an Aries. I'm not even that, though.
Starting point is 00:09:20 What are you? Sagittarius. Classic. Zach, thank you for the call. Yeah, appreciate it. Big fan's a new girl girl so appreciate you guys oh thanks man it was a lot of fun to make thank you man we appreciate that we love that show too thanks bud thank you so much that's so nice to hear from fans today's episode is brought to you by Babbel. That's right, Jake.
Starting point is 00:09:48 Listen, you know what Babbel is, right? Science-backed language learning app that actually works, which I find to be very important. Science-backed, Jake. Listen, don't bother paying hundreds of dollars for a private tutor. They come over. They're like asking for snacks. They're being annoying. Or even waste hours on apps
Starting point is 00:10:06 that don't really help. We're here to help and Babbel is going to help you. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations. So, Jake, for instance, if you want to learn,
Starting point is 00:10:17 I started relearning French through Babbel a little bit. Yes, because I used to know French, but then I don't know French. But it's still there. You know what I like about it is that it's got a speech recognition technology yep because the problem with learning a new language is if you sound like you're from another country yes if it can actually help with the accent yeah that's a big. And applicable to situations you're going to find yourself in. Like when I think back to taking French, it was just like so much of it was like, I'm never going to do that.
Starting point is 00:10:50 It's like, how do you order food? How do you get a drink? How do you ask for directions? But so Babbel's great. Now listen, listen, everybody. Should we bring him in? Wait, one quick pause. Should we bring in the closer?
Starting point is 00:10:59 Studies from Yale. This is interesting. Michigan State University and others prove that Babbel is better. From Yale, this is interesting, Michigan State University and others prove that Babbel is better. So one study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester of college. So if that's true, which Yale's no joke, it's just putting schooling in a different light. Yes. If you spend 15 hours, let's say you didn't go to college and you always feel like, well, I don't know. I didn't go to college. 15 hours? You just did a semester.
Starting point is 00:11:28 Yeah. That's wild. Yes. That's a wild study. So, speaking of language, should we bring in the closer or should I do it? Closer. Alright, hold on. Let's get him. Kevin? Door's open. Oh, you meant Gil. I meant Kevin.
Starting point is 00:11:44 I thought Kevin was going to do gonna do it no i thought we were talking about the closer the we were he parked in front of all our cars so might as well oh we can't leave well what's what's the problem go ahead so that old jalopy is gills yes and you can turn it off i guess now keep it running i want the rest it's bad for a lot of smoke i'm pausing a serious accent. Now listen, here's a special limited time deal for our listeners.
Starting point is 00:12:08 Right now, get 55% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners. This isn't for people who don't listen, like Laura from one of the calls earlier. These are standalone. At Babbel.com slash HTH.
Starting point is 00:12:20 Jake, let me finish. Get 55% off Babbel.com slash HTH. Spelleda-b-b-e-l.com slash hth we're gonna watch you to babble we want you to babble i'll tell you what i don't want to babble your ear off i gotta go back to the jalopy rules and restrictions this episode is brought to you by ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. Garth, what does that mean to you?
Starting point is 00:13:01 Well, it means a lot because, as you know, my mother was in town for a while. She had a hip replacement replacement and it was crazy. It was a crazy situation. And there were so many times, so many things like complications were popping up. And there were multiple times where we wanted to find a doctor appointment quickly, somewhere close. You use ZocDoc. Yeah, you would use ZocDdoc because it's just so much harder if you're just like you know like using search engines to try to find someone and then you call do they take your insurance but the problem has it's all there for all the problem with also just searching it is all the ads pop up yes and what i like i actually use zocdoc we since we started doing it i do like that it keeps it really clean and you can put all your information in. Did you use ZocDoc for your knee?
Starting point is 00:13:48 I did use ZocDoc for my knee, which I am going to get an MRI on. But we don't think it's a tear. That's the good news. But I am going to get an MRI. The doctor report back, it's just an old man's knee. It's actually pretty much what it sounded like. That's what the doctor said to me about my hips. I'm getting to the point where it's sad when doctors are just like, yeah, you're just the... I've had a doctor who looked at my body and then went like this, well, you're mid-40s, yeah? What a jerk.
Starting point is 00:14:12 Well, that guy's hopefully not on ZocDoc. But again, it really does. It filters specifically for doctors that take your insurance, locate it near you, treat basically. And again, you can get an appointment quickly. You can also get it same day. That's absolutely right, Jake, if you're lucky. That's right gil buchanan ones and two 68 balmy don't worry about it that's right i've been kept in the closet for a while on this show but i'm back for
Starting point is 00:14:32 the ads good to see you brother you would get this literally never left wherever the best time in the world go to zocdoc.com slash hth and download the zocdoc app app for free. Did you hear? How much does that cost you? Free. Free, that's right. And then find and book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash H-T-H. ZocDoc dot com slash H-T-H. Hi, you're on with Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. Can we ask your name, please?
Starting point is 00:15:07 My name is Caroline. Hey, Caroline. How are you? Hi, Caroline. I'm good. How are you guys? Good. I think I'm doing pretty good.
Starting point is 00:15:14 How are you, Garfield? I haven't asked you that today. I'm pretty good. I'm doing pretty good. Jake, you're good? You said you were good? Things are good? I got some shit sleep last night, but I'm pretty good.
Starting point is 00:15:23 I also had shit sleep. I didn't want to get too in the weeds with it because I thought, but I'm pretty good. I also had shit sleep. I didn't want to get too in the weeds with it because I thought, hey, Caroline's calling. Let's talk to her. Let's deal with her. Let's deal with her. Well, is there something you want to say? Is there anything you want to say? Nah, just a little bit.
Starting point is 00:15:33 You sure? Yeah. Okay. All right. Caroline, where are you from? I'm from Indianapolis, Indiana. Oh, nice. I like Indianapolis, Indiana.
Starting point is 00:15:41 Okay. And how old are you? Do you mind if we ask? I do not mind. I am 38 years old yeah 38 and uh what do you do for work well I used to be a marketing writer and a writer generally but when I had my kids I quit that and have just been home raising kiddos I love it my daughter was born how many kids you got? You said the one daughter? No, I have a daughter named Charlie who is six and a son named Oscar who is five.
Starting point is 00:16:14 You have a six-year-old girl named Charlie and a five-year-old boy named Oscar, yes? I do, yes. We have a very soft picture of your life, Caroline. Do you mind telling us what you're calling about today? I'm actually calling you about my five-year-old, Oscar. He's going to be starting kindergarten in the fall, and he's very scared about it. And he's just kind of scared, generally, of a lot of new things that didn't used to seem to bother him, didn't used to seem to bother him like the dark or going downstairs by himself or going upstairs by himself or any kind of bug um fireworks were a big thing my husband had to sit on the edge of his bed during the fourth of july because he was so scared of the sound so my man os Oscar has some anxiety. Yeah. He does. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:05 Hey, Oscar. Hey, Oscar. Welcome to the world. A lot of us do. Get in line, Oscar. Get in line, my guy. I'm scared of everything. Wait until you're 40.
Starting point is 00:17:16 Why do you think we were both that didn't get enough sleep? We were terrified. Scared. Woke up to go to the bathroom. Couldn't go to bed because of crippling anxiety Got scared About what? The future? Big stuff, small stuff
Starting point is 00:17:31 Don't matter I'm just Oscar So Oscar has a lot of fear and he's starting kindergarten Yeah I want to make it less scary for him Or try to find ways To help him through it Have you considered moving to some him through it have you have you considered moving
Starting point is 00:17:46 to some utopian society where you just eat like fruits and veggies from trees in the earth and you guys all live in jungle and you live in like white gowns and have like a good leader a good leader part's troubling forever the last part's trouble i agree i blew it i blew it yeah it's a worry at the end obviously obviously. The end was the worry. So basically, if we're correct here, is this question, unless I'm jumping in and ending you too quickly, but is this basically, how do we get Oscar a little less scared for school? That's exactly the question. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:19 I got to say, this is tough. It's tough. Now, can I ask you this? You said that the fear has sort of just started it it didn't seem to be there before and now it's sort of started is that right it is i mean i'll level with you i feel like it might have started partly with he got interested in mummies like books about mummies so i got him one one thinking, this is great. Let me nurture this interest. And it was way too intense.
Starting point is 00:18:47 And the pictures were really creepy. So, but no, you know, I don't want to trace it all to the mummies. It's more, I don't know. Because you did. I know it's my fault. And everything. So that's why you're like, we're not here to mummy blame. Come on.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Let's just deal with it now. Yeah. not here to mummy blame yeah come on let's just deal with it now yeah but i do wonder if it's like if kindergarten is like the root of all things or if it's just another thing you know i mean who knows the other thing that do you or your husband are either you guys uh big anxiety people i mean yeah we're anxious people i don't think we have like a clinical diagnosis but we're not the most like relaxed people that you'll meet uh so what i hear about kids and you know obviously we're no experts but what i hear about this world is a lot of it is from the parental advisor. So how nervous are you for your baby boy to start school? I am really nervous because my daughter had a really rough transition to
Starting point is 00:19:57 kindergarten. So I've already been kind of like bracing myself. So yes, i am more nervous than the average bear maybe caroline if uh i had a bell i would be ringing it what does that mean jake for those of us who aren't sure what the bell ring ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ladies and gentlemen we have our answer i think so you think this is yeah i think he's feel I think he's a probably a really intuitive little creature. I think he's feeling that anxiety and it's building up. I think the mummy book probably scared the shit out of him, just like it should. I showed my kids a shark video when they were about four years old. To this day, when they go in pools, they go, there's not a shark in here.
Starting point is 00:20:43 Right. And I go, look at it. Look at it look at it that happened to me i saw jaws when i was far too young and i was like i'm not going in that pool and like no matter what anyone told me it doesn't matter like you don't know to this day are the amount of conversations i've had to have where i go well chlorine would kill it as well as you can see the bottom of the pool and my kids adapt dad yeah well not even that much logic it just goes more like yeah but i don't know and i go well you see the bottom there's no shark and they go
Starting point is 00:21:12 yeah i'm not gonna go in though yeah you're like that's some good straight up fear yeah we more specialize on if you're like should i eat a hot dog on the 4th of July or hamburger? Yeah. And that is still a struggle for us to answer, but we at least- Because the thing is, is like a hot dog has its upsides, but so does a hamburger. We'll be right back. With a special commercial from a hamburger place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So can I ask a quick question carolyn yeah do you have anything in your life that's really
Starting point is 00:21:49 trivial and small and stupid like you know like should you be wearing cut off jeans to drop him off anything like that you could we could answer really quick and try to get a win here yeah here's a win okay it's still about oscar but I can't get him to stop running around shouting, my name is Crap Rat, and I eat children. Okay. See, this is more of our podcast. You buried the lead. Come on.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Come on. Wait. He's running around saying my name is Crap Rat? I eat what? My name is Crap Rat, and my favorite thing to eat is children that's what he's been running around pretending okay so this little boy your five year old son runs around he he yells at other kids my name is crap rat and i eat children yeah he'll yell it at me and my daughter and my husband. And you're trying to figure out how to get him to stop doing this.
Starting point is 00:22:48 I mean, I don't want him to debut it in public. Yeah, I'd like to keep it inside the house. I don't agree. I love, I think, let's unveil the character early. So can I ask a question about this? When did Oscar start identifying himself as Crab Rat? Do you remember the moment? Is it Crab Rat or Crab Rat?
Starting point is 00:23:06 No, it's Crap Rat with a P. Thank you. Crap Rat. It's what I wanted. Okay, keep going. Answer Jake's question. When did he start becoming Crap Rat? I'm becoming.
Starting point is 00:23:18 It's fairly new. Within the past few days, Crap Rat has debuted, and I don't know why or where because it's awesome it's not i agree like i kind of love it but hold on caroline when he first did this what happened how does it start here he's in the backyard and a five-year-old boy just yells i'm crap rat and i eat kids this is a a jump. So how did we get to this? Yeah. He ran into the living room.
Starting point is 00:23:51 I think I was sitting on the couch, and I think he started chasing my daughter around and just shouted my name. He stood up on the ottoman, actually, and he shouted, my name is Crap Rat, and my favorite thing to eat is children. And then he started to hate her. And what was your daughter's reaction?
Starting point is 00:24:13 She kind of squealed and ran because then he started pretending to eat her. Well, to be fair, he stated the mood. I mean, he's Crap Rat. He eats children. Of course, you know what I mean? Like, that's on her now. Get out of the room. C mean he's crap rat he eats children of course you know what i mean like that's on her now get out of the room crap rats here you make a good point and so caroline the question is is if i'm getting this correct is how do you get him to stop referring to himself as
Starting point is 00:24:38 crap rat or do you just let crap rat sing a little bit and let it go? Yes, that's the question. Well, let me just put it like this, and I've told Garf this, but when I was about Oscar's age, I wanted to be called Arnold. I think it was Arnold Jackson, even though his name should be Arnold Drummond because he was adopted by the Drummonds. Okay, let's not get into the way okay this is from different just a just a show I watched growing up called Different Strokes and I wanted to be and I loved him it was little Gary Coleman what an actor unfortunately heard
Starting point is 00:25:16 some bad stuff about him later in life but that's not okay yeah yeah but just a charming little character actor great show about two kids who get adopted into a millionaire family and Upper East Side. And guess what? Jakey J wanted to be Arnold Drummond. And I had everybody call me Arnold on birthday cakes. Everybody had, it had to say happy birthday,
Starting point is 00:25:36 Arnold. My mom told me when all the little kids would sing, they would go happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Arnold. Happy birthday to you. And the way my mother she was very embarrassed by it she did not like it other parents would ask like who's arnold and she would have to say the youngest child in different strokes which was also admitting that
Starting point is 00:25:57 i watched way too much tv and as a single mom she was not fired up about any of this it's also sort of tipping the hand to like, he has a fantasy to go in a different house. Yes. He wants to live with another family. He wants some rich old guy to adopt him. Yeah. But I'll tell you what she did, which I thought was really wise.
Starting point is 00:26:16 And that is, she just let me rock Arnold. And there was a moment where I think I said, why is everybody calling me Arnold? My name is Jake. And she said, no more Arnold. And there was a moment where I think I said, why is everybody calling me Arnold? My name is Jake. And she said, no more Arnold. And as if an alien took me over and created Arnold, I was like, yeah, Arnold's gone. I'm Jake. But if she said at that time, you are not allowed to refer to yourself as Arnold. There's a real chance. I'm asking, this is, we're here to help with Gareth and Arnold. Oh, which is just a superior show without question. When you were sick of it, Jake, and she called you Arnold,
Starting point is 00:26:52 did you look at her and say, what you talking about, mom? Did that happen? That's a joke for the older fans. People our age right now are dying. It's a good joke. It's a good joke for the elderly. That's a goddamn win. But what Jake also has said is that he's standing there so proud that his name is Arnold.
Starting point is 00:27:13 But look, I don't think Crap Rat is going to stick forever. Oscar's going to become Oscar again. You know, every now and then he just has these little crap rat fits and that's fine. This is this is what I would say. You've got one of two options. I think what Jake said is right. I think you just let it go. I think if he's if he's scaring your daughter, I think you could come up like crap rat goes outside.
Starting point is 00:27:39 You know, if she wants to play, we can go play crap rat in the yard. You know, you're here to eat children that's a problem for a child um i i would my other angle would be maybe you can escalate and and just get through this timeline a little faster if you lean into it get a cape get a cr emblem that he can wear on his chest something something like that. You know, just things like that. Think of the superhero version of Crap Rat, which I would imagine he would like. Maybe that can get the infatuation to fade faster. So I'm kind of with Gareth, but I'm kind of not.
Starting point is 00:28:18 I think I wouldn't water this seed because I don't think you want him to have to lean further in. But what I would do is I wouldn't water this seed because I don't think you want him to have to like lean further in. But what I would do is I wouldn't run from it when he's doing it. I would refer to him as crap rat, but crap rat still has all the same responsibilities Oscar does. So you could go like, hey, crap rat. In 20 minutes, we're sitting down for dinner. And he goes like, I eat children. Well, you also eat these chicken nuggets and your broccoli, Crap Rat.
Starting point is 00:28:46 And I think if you stick to that, Crap Rat's going to realize this is not much better than Oscar. And it'll then slowly fade away. But I wouldn't stifle it because, you know. You can't win if you're stifling. And also, Crap Rat's a pretty exciting move for a five-year-old and we encourage yeah i think the downside is obviously and i think there's only a small percent percent chance of this but you know that it makes him feel like he can do that further and then you know he's 15 years old and he's become shit ferret or something like that. But I don't see that happening,
Starting point is 00:29:25 much like my man Arnold over here just said. I think he'll get it out of his system. I think so too. So Caroline, our advice to you on this one is let Crap Rat run its natural course of things. And we're going to see what happens and let him take that energy when he starts school. And maybe that's the confidence that's going to carry him into kindergarten. Yeah, Crap Rat's not afraid of kindergarten. Yeah. So thank you for the call. We wish you all the best,
Starting point is 00:29:55 and we think you got something fun with Crap Rat running around Indianapolis. Any kid that comes up with Crap Rat is all right in my book. Agreed. He's going to be okay. He's going to be just fine. Thank you for the call, Carolyn. Thank you, guys. See you. comes up with crap rat is all right in my book agreed he's gonna be okay okay yeah that's fine thank you for the call caroline thank you guys see ya good luck tell crap rat what's up here's a quick mini bonus call with one of our favorite guests all right uh welcome to we're here to Help. You're on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:30:26 Can I get your name, where you're calling from, and maybe just jump into whatever your issue is. Yeah, my name is Jake. I'm calling from Los Angeles. And my issue is I went hiking with my friend Lamorne, and he was winded. He was out of shape. He kept asking for breaks and doing fake little monologues.
Starting point is 00:30:44 And then when we were posting about it he called me a liar on social so i want to know what's up my man what's up with your cardio that's first of all you see that you see the triceratops is right here okay got these dinosaur arms you're a liar jake you're a liar what happened was i wasn't used to that particular canyon so when when you understand the path then you can you can understand the breath work i didn't know the path so if you you're saying that because you didn't know the path that's why you stopped so many times looked around pretended to love the view love of you had moments where you would say like can't we just talk for a second yeah j, Jake, I hadn't seen you in a while.
Starting point is 00:31:25 You're forgetting. And to tell the people that we don't hang out as much as they think. We started to. I know. After we did the Natalie Morales night. Exactly. Because we realized we actually love each other. Yeah, that's true. But then do you remember what you said to somebody you love during the hike when you were beating me?
Starting point is 00:31:41 You pointed to my stomach, which was sticking out. And you said, how come you're not more tired? at you yeah because i'm not gonna lie to you jake i was shocked i didn't know you could throw your weight around like that he goes man how are you not tired and i was like how are you so tired then he pointed at my stomach but if we did a rematch, I'm not getting winded. Next week, let's do it. Let's do it. Your boy's back at it. Okay, great.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Next week, you and LA. Let's just do it different. Let's just walk on the flat surface, though. Let's not go up a cane. Not much of a hike. Come on. Yeah, still hiking. We can wear the shoes.
Starting point is 00:32:16 We're ending this call. Come on. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson. And Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt. And the associate producer and editor is AJ McKean. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakio. And our video editor is John DeBruin.
Starting point is 00:32:36 The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh. And you can check out his music at OliverRaleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I.com. The's oliverrally.com. The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at james__fosdyke, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand-up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com.
Starting point is 00:32:55 And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

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