We're Here to Help - 311: Too Ugly To Stuff & Your Car's A Toilet (with Gil Ozeri)

Episode Date: July 29, 2026

Gareth, Jake and Gil Ozeri make sense of the biggest penis they've ever seen. Then, they make an appeal to the crows.You can follow Gil on IG @tallgilozeri and listen to his podcast Good Science @GoodSciencePod.See images from the episode here: https://www.heretohelppod.com/post/episode-311 Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. Jake, we've got our guest, Gil Ozeri. We just did two calls that were, I'm going to be honest, visually wild calls. Stameming. Yes. Gil, thoughts, takeaways, lessons,

I mean. I found the, the, um, I found the problems to be very similar in nature. And someone was saying,

oh, I had this disgusting issue about myself. Right. Right. Right. And I need help sort of coping

with this thing that I can't change. And I need some, I need them, that's right. Both and both people came at it with love and reason and saying, hey, I really need to help with this problem. And I know it might not, you know, change anything, but I'm going to try to sort of plead to the empathy of the other person. So I liked to that.

I did too. So, Gil, I've been a fan of yours for a long time. You've been deep in the comedy scene for a long time. Right back at you. Thanks, my friend. And then you were on hoops with us. Yes. And now you're starting to have a nice big moment.

It started a couple of years ago, from my point of view, with whatever the Ryan Murphy, all those shows are, when you started jumping into those where I was like, okay, Gilly. Yeah, that was nice. Will you walk us through this audience, how you kind of started, your improv journey, into where you're at now and then be promoting what you're doing too?

Sure. I started at UCB in New York. I came up with Ben Schwartz and Adam Pally around that time. Until you three were a show. Did you guys meet in classes? How did you three become a thing? We met in classes. Me and Ben met in Paul Shear's class.

And I'm not sure how Ben and Adam it. But yeah, we had a group called Hot Sauce together. We had a sketch show. We did some improv. And, yeah, we came up together. And then eventually in 2011, I moved out to L.A. for happy endings, worked on happy endings. Oh, so you came out as a writer for that?

Exactly, yeah. So I wrote a show. I've got a question for you then. So the three of you were a group, because I remember hearing about that group. So then did people in that group just start moving to L.A.? Is that what broke up the group? And you were the last one to do the move out?

Yes, yeah. It was sort of like, you know, in steps, kind of. I think Ben had moved out first and then Adam and then me. Okay, and then Pally gets happy endings. Yep. Hallie gets happy endings. He submits my script to the... Oh, fucking good dude.

To Casp. I know, the best dude. To Casp. And I got hired as a writer's assistant for the first season and then a writer for season two. So you did the real grind up. I did the grind up. That is the most stressful job. People were.

I was terrible. I was terrible at it. Didn't know how to use final draft. Hated to listen to people. Would not write notes. I was terrible. Awful. Well, it's also the, it's almost the stenographer of the room where so much stuff gets said.

And there are, I've seen so many moments in rooms where someone's like, what was that part? And a writer's assistant trying to find it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on a second. Wait a second. I wasn't on the internet. The level of empathy you feel is like, oh, God, please. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. But you'd come up as a performer, so then you made the jump to a writer. being like, yeah, right, I can do this. I think in the room where I was a writer's assistant and then sort of like, because I had sort of experience on stage and stuff, I was able to sort of pitch jokes in the room and then got hired as a writer and then worked on Brooklyn 9-9 after happy endings. Oh, as a writer?

As a writer. So what I'm doing a show with Dan and Luke. Yes. What should I expect? You should expect greatness. I love the guys from the pilot. We just did the pilot. I love Luke.

Luke is such a funny crumagion. Luke is the funniest. Luke is the least happy person I've ever seen on set. Oh, Lord, yeah. And I had to write to like Melissa from Brooklyn 9-9 and Andy and go like,

because I would literally be doing a take. I took photos of him eventually. Yeah. He would be standing where, like, my performance is physically hurting you. Yeah. And then he would walk over and go like, pretty good.

And then he would say a line. His joke writing is so good. It's really good. He's really, really funny and really smart. So is Dan Gore. Yep. Dan will hate if we're compliment Luke and that too. But Luke also is just a very sweet cramogen.

So like, you know, under everything, he's got a nice big heart. So then you did. You were on the staff for that. I was on the staff for that. Then I worked on, I wrote on Big Mouth. I mean, and, you know. acting throughout, but big mouth for, like, the entire run of Big Mouth. Yeah.

And now I'm writing on a show and acting on a show called A Hundred percent with Nick Crowell and Gabe Leadman. Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course. Yeah. So that's about, we just started shooting last week. And who's in that show with you guys? Vanessa Bayer, Sam Richardson, Jason Manzukas.

Great cat. Diane Lane. Lisa Gilroy. Oh, you got a murderer's row. Diane Lane and Nick are going to have a thing. Somehow Nick wrote a thing where he's dating. Can you believe that? It's the most embarrassing part of our business,

and it happened to me in self-reliance when I was the writer, the director, and the star, and then I wrote Anna Kendrick to be in love with me, and I'd be like, she'd be like, so why does my character I like about your character here and I was like, well, it's in the rating. Yeah, it's. And there would be moments where I'd be like, this is... And me, you've seen me, right? Yeah, he's a Jake Johnson type.

You love him. This is a gross business. So awkward. And so you're also acting in it too. I'm acting. Yeah, I play Vanessa's husband. Okay, great. And when did you start transitioning more into getting more?

Like, you're really funny on social media, too. That's very stupid. You started pushing on that pretty hard, too, which is really funny. I did. I was just like, I feel that Hollywood is burning. and I'm just sort of like covering my bases just in case. I'm like, oh, maybe I should have like, you know, some sort of relationship with, you know,

people on the internet directly without having to go through some. Yeah, so that's why that started. I love it. And what's the podcast you're doing too? Oh, yes. So the podcast is with my best friend Anthony Atamanick. Oh, yeah. He had that show on Comedy Central, right?

Yes, called The President Show where he played Donald Trump. And so now this one is called Good Science. Yeah, he's an amazing impressionist. Great show. He plays RFK Jr. And the podcast is, and I play like an unfiltered manosphere comedian type. And the podcast is basically as if it were released by the Health and Human Services Department. So it's a lot of misinformation and conspiracies and stuff like that.

That's great. Well, Gil, thank you for joining. Been happy to watch your rise. Yeah, and great work to do. Appreciate it. Thank you. This is so much fun. This episode of the podcast of We're Here to Help is brought to you by the delicious hungry root.

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash here to help for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash here to help. Hello. Hello. Hello. Uh-oh. It's foreign. Can we get your name, please?

Yeah, my name, well, the name I'm going with is Tom. Tom, okay, and Tom, how old are you, Tom? I'm coming up to 40. 40, and where in England are you calling from, Tom? I'm calling from London. How did you know? I have a friend who went to international school, and he sort of has given me an ear towards these languages and these dialects.

Yeah, he's here with us now. Yeah, I get changed. Are you in English, bloke? Me? Yeah, yeah. Well, we'll... Gil, do you have an English accent on the spot, mate? Fake Tom and fake Jay.

Hold on, Gareth. Hold on, Garrett. Yeah, go on. What's going on then, Tommy? You're all right. Gil. You go to English on the spot. Of course I do.

There's got a couple of real Brits over there. All right, Tom, what can we do for you today, bud? Well, Tom, we got to tell you, we have our guest, Gil Ozarius with us today. Hi, Gil. You're going to get a lot of great help. We're all American, but we want to help you. believe in helping people outside of this country. So what is going on, Tom?

What can we help you with? It's great to meet you all. Thanks to take my call. A long time listener, first time caller. And to be honest, I have a problem that I think only you guys can help with. Wow. Can I start with the question? Sure.

Sure. So I give you some background. Do whatever you want, bud. Mate. Okay, thank you. How do I genuinely ask my friend if his dick is real? You know what? don't start with a question.

Hey, Gail. Yeah. Floor is yours. Any thoughts? What does that mean? Great question. Yeah. We're not.

I have suspicions that my friend's dick is fake. And I'm hoping that you guys can help me get a sincere answer out of him. I'll give you a bit. I'll give you a bit of background, first of a good. Yeah, that's probably going to be helpful. So my friend, I knew him really well, like 10 years ago. we were pretty close but he moved away he now lives in another country

and he has really got into bodybuilding he's um constantly taking pictures shirtless and they've kind of just been getting more and more explicit they started off just of his torso then just of his ankles and legs and calves

then they sort of like merged in the middle and we started to get pictures of the middle region, I guess. And it's insane. You're talking about it? He's posting photos of a Python. It's the size of a baby's arm. Understood.

And you don't buy it. Publicly on social media. And I do not buy it. But my issue is that I'm happy to ask him. You know, we're like, we're, we're, I'm separate enough to, you know, not worry about breaking ties with him. But I am so invested enough that I need to get the real answer. When he's posting these,

he's not just posting like solo hog. He's posting like full body and you're just zoned in on the package. I don't know if I'm finding the fascination or if anyone would looking at the pictures. I've sent a few in. I'm not sure if you can see them. Never been more excited for a don't.

When I knew him, just to sort of explain, there was no sign of this, none at all. He would always wear shorts, he would always wear very tight clothing, skinny jeans, the lot. And, you know, I think we would have noticed. Okay. The pictures that I've sent through, though, tell a bit of a different story. So I've sent in, like, a few that give you an idea of when I knew him. and, you know, no sign of... Wow, there's a before and after.

Gil, will you describe what you're seeing when we see each pick for a lot of people that listen to a small drive? Absolutely. It just, oh, there it is. Okay, so there's a man sitting in what looks to be a throne and he has tight, khaki shorts on. He's slightly burly, not in a bad way, in a nice way.

He's got a hat on, a linen sort of. a see-through shirt, white, and I can't, his hand is in front of his crotch, so it's hard to tell, but he looks like, you know, a nice thick man. Yeah, he's kind of bearish. Yeah, but not a bodybuilder to me. No, not a bodybuilder. Okay. Next pick.

Next pick is a man who's clearly on vacation. He's wearing, or maybe in a Mexican restaurant. He has a sombrero on, and what looks to be like some sort of Roershack shirt. Oh, no, it's a dog shirt, like a Tommy Bahamas pit bull shirt and shorts. And no, there's, again, he's, you can't really tell there's no outline in the crotch area. No, but shoulders and arms look big. Maybe he looks bigger. He looks bigger.

He looks bigger. He is getting stronger. Okay, now he's more lean. This is another picture he has a tank top on. He's opening a vitamin water with some heft. So he's, and there's his, there's a slight. outline in his crotch, so I don't know. It's hard to tell.

Not much, but now he's gotten leaner and fitter. Yeah, but I will say that. He appears to have a whistle. What the fuck? Shut up. Shut up. This is a joke. This has gotta be a joke.

Okay. All right. So now, this is, okay. He is now in a gym and he's completely nude except for underwear. And his, he's wearing gray under, gray, Gray undies, and his cock looks like, it looks like, holy mother, it looks like a salami from Katz's deli. It's enormous.

He is strong now in leaning. Strong now. He's nearly on steroids. Hanging down halfway to his knees. No, that's a joke. This can't even be. This can't be real. Now, that looks like a cat.

It looks like he's got a cat in his underwear. And it says, three weeks, no gym, can't sleep even though I'm exhausted, started home workouts, soon. This is, he's got a monster in his pants. Yes. This cannot... No, this is, this looks like fake it almost reads as a joke. All right, now is... Slow down

on these pigs, guys. I want Gil to describe them. Okay, now now he's in a sauna, he's got his arms up to show us his pits. It says, Chess Day Dunn, I killed it. He's wearing black, tight underwear, and his cock keeps getting thicker somehow. Not longer,

just thicker. Maybe shorter Maybe shorter and it looks like a can of cranberry sauce if you ask me Agreed He also looks different his face, his body He's a different man because of the steroids He's got a beard now too He's different

I haven't made it past the groin This is a possible shock hereth Berserk Now his dick is he's in It looks like in front of a A fireplace He's standing again in underwear Flexing

Says crushing dad home workout number two. Now, this is, by the way, this is no dad workout. This is no dad. His balls are like, his balls are cantalope like head size and his dick is wrapping around towards his ass. His dick is fighting to find his asshole.

Yes, it's fighting to find an asshole. Because his dick is going to do bad things to his own backside. It honestly looks like he has like two dicks now. He looks like a monster. All of a sudden and also the, the junk this dude is on for steroids,

he's on another level of body-bolded. He's definitely got some junk. This is a shot from up top. It's coming down. Again, his now, all right, it's making, that's the reason it's making his dick look even bigger because it's up from, it's like a crane shot. We can work out done about damn time I got one in.

His face looks different too because of the junk. Yeah, it does. He looks straight. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, no, this is crazy. Okay, so now he's in his kitchen. It has an elbow.

Yeah. It's a shelf. It's a shelf. You could put a cup of coffee on the top of that thing. It has a joint. A cup of coffee? You could put like a fucking turkey dinner on that. That's insane.

It's crazy. You could put Thanksgiving dinner on top of his dick. And now he's got, he's eating, yeah, he's eating something. His arms are massive. His arms? I have to say, Gary, yes, his dick is enormous, but his arms are massive. I've not left the homeland. It doesn't make sense because it looks like, wow.

That's crazy. That's crazy. Wait, hold on, Tom. Hold on one second, Gil. Tom. This is 100% real life. Yes, as far as them were. He even posts ones where he's acknowledging it, which I didn't send it.

Saying what? Not embarrassed anymore The thing for me is that it changes shape Yeah Yeah It does There also might be different blood flows guys It looks sort of like a

Like a flipper Like it's sort of like got like a curvature to it at the tip now It also looks like an ant eater's nose An ant eater's yeah or an elephant's trunk It's own diet He probably feeds it mice Yes Yeah maybe it's like the little prince

It's calling a little little mouse right now. That's so cool if he feeds his dick, mice and little baby rats. He likes to watch eat him. He likes to watch Hey, I need another bag of crickets for my life.

You know those weird guys who had snakes who are like when you're in middle school they'll be like you want to watch you eat a mouse, you'd be like, wow. No. No thanks. This sounds like a nightmare. I can't tell where he is right now. He's in his basement maybe and he's wearing, again, it's just another flex picture. You can see the vein

from his shoulders. He is, as he's gotten more and more jacked, his dick has gotten bigger. Which I will say, I've heard the opposite does occur. Yeah. That's what I've heard too.

Yeah. Well, we've always said that about like Mark McGuire when we were growing up that like he had all those big muscles to be a tiny balls probably. He and Keseko. No disrespect if Jose listens.

I know Mark doesn't. But we do have a fighting shot with Jose. Knowing that Mark McGuire doesn't listen is quite a metric. There's no way. Mark McGuire's into this. There's a chance, Jose is right now going like this. That guy Gil's pretty good.

He's letting this guy have it. There's no way he's watching the video feed, though, Garrett. That's true. All right, right, right, all right. Okay, so Tom, before we get into this, just to organize this a little bit, because this is getting a little crazy, you believe, what do we call in this guy?

What's your friend's name? His name? I've gone to... Yeah, I've gone for Dirk. I've gone to Dirk Diggler, please. Okay, Dirk Diggler. So Dirk is an old friend of yours.

When we saw earlier, he looked regular. He moved away, and where did he move again? He moved abroad overseas to America. Okay, so he's in America. And did he have some sort of a nervous breakdown, midlife crisis? What started the junk? Do you know? I don't think so.

He's got a wife and kids. Okay. How many kids does he have? Oh, two. So, and then a few years back, just to catch everybody up and to slow things down a little bit, because those pictures were jarring. That's a lot. You just started seeing these picks. Jarring in the sense that it looks like a full jar.

Yeah, well, it's, I mean, it's an enormous penis, as you know, Tom. And he's on an enormous amounts of junk with steroids. So he just started working out. Did you ever talk to him about these workouts, or did you just see the picks and be like, Whoa, Dirk's getting big. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. He was, like, as you can see from the pictures,

he was always quite a mushy guy, but he just exploded. Not to another level in America. Exactly. When you guys were friends back in the day, you know, people casually make references to the zone of size of dick they have. Guy friends will go, sometimes people will go like,

you know, like, I'm a mid-sized sedan or ain't nothing. special or they'll go like I got a monster down here. I'm going to throw you in a Camry. But people will men will sometimes put a car around their dick and then you'll have sometimes a little guy going

like, oh I got a Ford Bronco down here and you're like interested. A pinto. Don't hit it hard. But they will give you signs of what they got cooking. I got a segue. Well also, I got one of those electric scooters, those limes.

I'm a lime. But also English culture, if you go to a bar, they really have never invested in the infrastructure of dividers. So it's a lot more common to see someone's penis in England than it is. Or Wrigley Field. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah. So, Tom, did you ever see this penis back in the day?

No. I'm a pretty sporty guy, but we never did sports together. But I've seen my fair share of, you know, guys getting changed. and I've never seen anything like this. No. To just add some validity to it as well, there are literally, if you did some research into the underwear that he's wearing,

the free longer underwear, I don't know if I can say the name of the brand. Sure. And there are literally dozens of people who all post similar pictures of themselves on that site for reviews. Oh. Well, maybe he's just got a big old dick, guys.

Maybe. Well, let me ask you this, Tom. Are we classifying? There's two versions. There's one where he's stuffing these underwear, and there's another where he's had some kind of procedure or something. Oh, that's interesting. I like, because there is, I mean, again, we are dealing with.

I'm going to be honest. If he's stuffing it, he's doing a bad job, stuffing it. That's the biggest penis I've ever seen. Hello? I agree. It's, yeah, no, I think there's, uh, You just said that so excitedly. I didn't know how to respond.

I personally think it looks fake to me. I can't see a world where it's real. Unless there, yeah, maybe it's some sort of surgery. But in terms of like asking your friend, like whether, you know, how to do that, I think there's like a number of ways you could go about it. All right, let's hear the first pitch. So let's start pitching, Gil. To me, I would say start with a couple.

compliment. I feel like always you know, soften him up and say, I love, look, I love what you've got down there. Or I love what I'm seeing. You know, I love the shape of you. No, I like I like, uh, I like the pictures, man,

but I gotta ask. Come on. I feel like he knows, right? I don't know. How often do you see him, Tom? No, I haven't seen him in years. That's kind of why I feel comfortable asking him because I'm not learning the biggest bridge. Yeah. Well, so Tom, what are your thoughts?

You think, what do you think is going on here? Stuffed, surgery, real dick. Talk to us for a little bit. You know him better. Where's your gut at? I thought it was stuffed. My initial thought was stuffed. And, you know, I was showing a couple of friends and they're 50-50.

I think the thing that really, like, gave it some validity was the fact that he started to pop up on like the review sites and started to like post a bit more like personally i'm not i'm not ashamed of i'm not going to be ashamed of this anymore and that's i agree by the way i agree with this and here's why i'm going to go away from stuffed the penis is big yes it's also ugly is Isn't it? So if you're going to, like, that's a scary penis, we've all said it. Why would you make a beautiful penis, you're saying?

Yeah, the shape we're all like, ew, it looks like an anteater or an elephant's trunk. Gross. See, that's what I would do if I had to stuff my penis. I'd make it ugly and I'd be like, I'm so ashamed. And then everyone would be like, oh my God, it's real. That is so true. That's actually interesting. The idea of being like, look.

If you stuff like what is considered a large penis, people might try to poke holes. If you go, oh, it belongs in a museum to be studied, then you go, nobody. No, no, no. By the way, that's an interesting thing. It's so ugly that you think it must be real, but you also deep down have to go, it's got the biggest dick I've ever seen in my life. It's ugly as hell, but it is the biggest dick he's ever. And I'll tell dicks of that size are more for other men and so.

from what I understand weightlifting. Although the shame stuff that you're saying makes me think that if you do ask him, he will say it is real, you know? Well, what if you... You won't give you a real answer. What if you ask him, what if you say you're trying to grow your penis?

What if you start hitting him up with... You have some insecurities. How'd you do it, brother? I have a smaller penis. It's been really difficult. It's ugly, too. Yeah, you have a problem in your pants. How did you get yours there?

I'm looking at some online pills and stuff. You know, some seem a little sketchy. Do you vet the things you take if you take, you know, maybe coming from a personal standpoint. Gareth, here's why, here's the problem with that. Because now you're putting in writing, hey, man, I have a small penis, right? You're putting that out there. It's true. It's true.

It's true. It's true. It's like a phone call. It's true. Or a voice note that disappears. Yeah. Yeah, you just said, yeah, right. You cannot have a quote going, my dig isn't great.

Let me tell you my dream scenario, and I know it's impossible, but I do just, maybe Tom, you'll be. My dream scenario is you ask him for workout advice and you go work out with him. And I know you're in separate countries, but you get to have him hit the showers with. with you. Okay. So everything, but there, hold on,

no, that's, but it's not realistic, but what is realistic is what you started, which I love. Maybe there's a world

where you do a workout where you go like, hey man, I'm trying to get in shape. Can we, can you train me? And I've done this with Rudy Garcia,

my trainer. Mind you, he doesn't have a dick like Dirk, but we've done Zoom workouts together. Actually, I'm at a hotel. And then you could go like,

what the fuck is that? Have you done Zoom showers together? Nah, ma, I'm not. And if I have, I'll never talk about it here. But wait, I think there's actually, there is a way to do this. If you ask him to give you a couple Zoom workouts so that you can start getting into shape, he will probably show up in gym shorts or something. He would.

Look, he has the Liberty Bell down there. You're going to be able to tell if it's moving or not. So if you're like, how do you? do a thrust, you're going to see this thing dingin and donging. How it moves. You're going to see movement or not. If it's got life, life-like movement.

Yes. Tom, we're in a spot here where I kind of like the idea of complimenting them. I also kind of like the idea where you say, I'm looking to do something similar and do a workout, or I liked what Gareth was saying, it's as you're working out, go like, hey man, is that

thing real? Or you could also say you're thinking of doing some steroids, has it changed your penis? In this zone, is there anything you're liking? Let's hear you talk for a little bit, pal. I like it all. I think me going down the steroids

and I've got a small dick route is probably the best route because I think it's somewhat opens it up, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Are you willing to do that in right? Yeah, 100%. The crux of this to me is getting a genuine response.

I need to know if it's real. I don't mind if, you know, I don't just want a response that he's already dishing out to the public. I need to know. You're not real talk. There's also, and I like where we're headed, I don't want to throw us off, but there's also the alt version where you kind of say,

you know, his dick's a little smaller than yours. Does he want anything to make it big? You can dish out some advice. Your insulting version. Or send a photo with a huge fake dick in yours and go there's a little guy. I have a follow-up question to Tom. And that is, have you thought about what your response is going to be once you find it? Let's say you do find out.

And he says, it's real. How would you react in that moment? Would you be like, holy shit, that's incredible? Or like, that's something's wrong with you? I got another pitch. Another pitch could be you could say you're working for like ITV or something in the UK on a production of fascinating appendages. And you're in pre-production and you were wondering if he would be interested in being featured over the size of his enormous dong. You could be like, there's a woman who has a finger coming out of her ear.

I know you're taking this seriously, and I know you're not doing a bit here. Because I know your face changes when it's just a bit. Walk us through the logic of this one, babe. So the logic is this. He has a fake job as a TV show on a fake show. And then when the guy goes, sure, can I talk to a producer? He goes, just talk to me about your dick. You say, we're in the, listen, we don't have a lot of money, but can we just have, can my friend and I, I'll fucking join as the producer.

I'll get on this Zoom and we'll do it. And I'll be like, hey, listen, can we see it? Can we have a look at it? Can we see a half of it? Can I see a third of it? This is, if I'm the guy with the big dick and this dare, I'm afraid of my friend from London who pretends to be on a show about weird body sizes. Tom, going back to you from Gil's question, what would your response be if it's real?

Good to you, man. good for you. You just want to know. I just want to know. I just, you know, it's, it's, I think it's, I think it's a lot of people are wondering about my fascination with it, but hopefully you guys are on board of it now. We are. You can see the fascination there, right? I have no, I'm not questioning your fascination at all.

It's a, it's one of the wonders of the world you got to find out. Here's what I would consider if I were you. This is, this is the pyramids. It's too much. This is the pants pyramid. This is Da Vinci Code. This is Ron Howard and Tommy Hanks would get lost in this and do three sequels. Yeah.

So, Tom, here's where I think we're at. Tell me if you agree, because this is why I felt like you were going, and I'm looking to get you in this course. It couldn't get you out of the lot. You said you were okay to do it via text and talk about how your dick is smaller and ask him, point blank, is his real? If it is and it's totally natural, cool but if there's anything he has done to enhance it you're not positive about the steroids

but off the record could he give you any advice is it supplements is there anything he's done or is he's just stuffing it because if that's real he'd be like man if i could just get a couple of inches i'd be thrilled you got yards brother so what do you think tom about that text i see that's perfect bring your phone up brother i've got it i've got it i've got it Gil, will you start the first draft? And then do it nice and slow. Tom, I need you to write this. And then if you approve, send it to him now.

And then the way you can pay the tab at this bar for us, which we would appreciate the free drinks, is send us a screen grab of this sent to him. And then the follow-up will be the response. That's how to you, Tom? I think a good way to start is, hi, Dirk, hope you're well. I've been following you recently, and I'm loving some of the pictures I'm seeing. You look like you're in great shape, and your family life seems phenomenal.

I'm writing because, Personally, I am having some trouble getting into shape myself. And I wanted to know, we're saying, oh, especially around, I would say, the, the, the, my nether region. And I was wondering, I feel like I might be undersized compared to some of my friends. especially seeing your pictures. And I wonder if you have any advice about, like, I was wondering if you did anything to enhance it or that is just something that God has given you as a gift.

Again, hope you're well. Can we, when you're ready, Tom, hear that back into your words and see where we're at with the text. Yeah. Let me just flesh it out. Yeah, do your thing, man. I mean, it's hard to exist in a world where something like that is real. Yeah.

Yeah. But I honestly, I'm leaning towards real. You are? Wow. Yeah, I am. I think it's too ugly to stuff. I don't think anyone would stuff like that. It's like Enron was too big to fail.

This is too ugly to stuff. But like the one where the balls looked disgusting and the dick was wrapping around his hip. Right. You're going after such a small fetish audience if that's what you're going for. I think he's more like, I have a disgusting huge dick.

Yeah. And I'm not afraid. And that really, I mean, not to, people are having fun, but I mean, it is, that is an alarming, alarming thing to have. I'm going to tell you what. The nightmare of meeting a woman in a bar

and having a tiny dick. The other nightmare is she pulls your pants on and goes, no, Grazzi. It's too big. Not only that, it just screams and jumps out a window. Yeah. Punches it, maybe. Well, Jake, I have to ask you, what, why do you think then the earlier pictures?

I know. I was thinking of that, too. Yeah, what is that? So what's that about? Do you think that? I don't have an answer because it doesn't make sense. You would have seen that huge monster. In those early picks.

Yeah. But he might have been, you know, tying it down. You're totally not taking it down. Yeah. He might have had a whole system of rubber bands. And that's just a fact. Like, he is like Gulliver and Gulliver's travels. Yeah.

But there could have been a whole thing that you're like. Rubber bands. And his head is just bright red. Yeah. Yeah. Just thinking, please don't get hard. Or it's going to bust off. Like a watermelon.

Just totally. It's just like a giant, like, yeah. People are dying. Tom, when you're ready, read it to us, bud. Okay, I've got, hi, Dirk. I hope you and the family all well. I've been following your progress, and you're in great shape.

I'm writing because I'm having trouble getting into it myself, especially around my nether regions. I feel like I might be undersized, especially after seeing your pictures. I wonder if there's anything I could be doing to get closer to your size. We need a little bit harder.

Here's what I might do. Yeah. I might, I would maybe say you've looked online and have had, and have, like, something to the effect of I'm about to go down a dangerous route with this. I love this. Yes. Is there something you've taken that you like? I was talking to a doctor who said there are some injections that might help me, but it sounds a little suspect. Exactly.

Because you've done anything? The more specifics you have, the more real it sounds. If that is natural, cool. If it's a something you have done, can you tell me specifically what you're using? Yes. Also, no pressure if you don't want to answer. I totally understand. Agreed.

Tom, what do you think of that? I love it. Toss it in Big Daddy and then read it and then we're going to get out of here because we've got to get to the next call. Okay. And let's just go from the top again, sorry, I know it's a little bit longer, but there's a rhythm to this text. Hi, Derek. I hope you're in the family well. I've been following your progress in your own great shape.

I'm writing because personally I'm having trouble getting in shape myself, especially around my nether regions. I feel like I might be undersized, especially after seeing your pictures. I wonder if there's anything I could be doing to get closer to your size. I was speaking to a doctor who suggested a couple of routes like a go-down. If yours is natural, cool. Forget I asked. also no pressure if you don't want to talk about it. Do we want to say specifically I'm talking about my penis?

He says he knows since his penis. The only thing I would say is after you're saying talking to the doctor, say some of it sounds a little too experimental, but I don't know, question mark. Something like that. I'm scared of injecting stuff into my penis, but if something. Just because he's injecting so much into that body of his man, you don't want him to go like the way to get big thighs. You're talking about the hog.

Maybe it's like some of this sounds a little scary. Some of this sounds a little bit scary to inject something into my penis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But let me know if I'm being crazy here. Yep. I think that's right.

Let's say penis. Let's enjoy us. Just at the end. Just read that last line. Yep. The last line could be, I'm talking about my penis. All the best. All the best. I'm talking about it.

Sincerely. Then Tom, we got to hear it one more time. I know I keep saying we're about to get out of this, but we're close. This is going to be a very effective text. I've got one shot at this. I've got absolutely one shot.

This is eight mile, and I'm not just talking about what's in his pants. Let's hear it when you're ready. Hi, Derek. I hope you're in the family a world. I've been following your progress, and you're in grace. I'm writing because personally I'm having trouble getting in shape myself, especially around my nether regions. I feel like I might be undersized, especially after seeing your pictures.

I wonder if there's anything that I could be doing to get closer to your size. I was speaking to a doctor who suggested a couple of routes I can go down, but some of it sounds a little experimental, injecting stuff into my penis. If yours is natural or cool, forget I asked. Also, no pressure if you don't want to speak about it. All the best. And then send, yeah. Yeah, that's great, man.

Hit send, do us a favor and pay that tab, send us that screen grab, and then Tom, best wishes, brother. You got to let us know. We all must know. I can't walk around knowing that's out there. If he happens to text right away, just call back. We're going to be on for the next hour and a half or so. Okay.

Thank you guys. Thank you, bud. Thanks, buddy. Wow. Unbelievable. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. You know what Squarespace is and so do you. It's where you can build a website.

You want to see how it works? Go to garethreth-Reynolds.com. I love Gareth, but he is not a technically sound individual, and he built that website himself. They really are the best. They make you stand out. website looks professional and there's all these things they can help you with they can help you with the SEO tools your cutting edge design your domains your donations your videos um you know whatever it is

that is really uh squarespace is there for you they make you look the part and again it's easy nobody's going to go to your square space website and be like boy this guy mailed it in i've worked with squarespace for a long time every website i am associated with which is quite a few of them um completely uh square space only i'm a square space only i'm a square Space only fellow. What can I say? So go to Squarespace.com slash Gil sent me for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Gil sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hi, I'm Beck Bennett.

I thought I was Beck Bennett. No, no, no, I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good, all good. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, and we host a show, what's our podcast here on Headgum. This podcast is brought to you by SquareSpang.

Squarespace is the all-known website platform designed to help you stand. hand out and make you look like a kick-ass person online. Like you're skateboarding through the internet or you're like you're surfing through the web. SquareSpace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand and get paid all in one place. I like that it's all in one place. I know. I like that I don't have to go around, you know, like different stores or something. It's just all on my website.

Well, it's like, oh, do I need to go to like a, do I need another type of website to like find the right pictures or like another type of website to upload the like. It's all in one place. The video or the audio or like, no, it makes it easy. Make it easy on me, please. Yes, and you can do all those things, photos, videos, changing fonts. I mean, the designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs. There are SEO tools, which I know what those are, and they're custom domains.

Oh, what's come up with a domain right now? Let's see. I want it for it exists. www. Friends meeting. Friends. Friends meeting. Friends.

That's an original thing that we came up with. friends meeting friends. Anyway, so check out Squarespace.com slash Edgum for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Headgum save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell, sounds easy.

Anybody could do it. Hello. Hi. Hi, how are you? Good, how are you? Good, thank you. Can we get your name, please? Yeah, my name is Shannon.

Hi, Shannon. Where are you calling from, Shannon, roughly? I'm calling from Burlington, Vermont. Oh, what a town. Burlington is the best. You ever been there again? I have not, no. That's awesome.

Jake? No. All right. Well, you got Shannon, you got me. You got Gil O'Sari joining us today as our guest helper. Got Jake Johnson. Why don't you just jump into it? What's going on?

Okay, so I've got a very unique problem. We've got in the fall in the way, winter we have this murder of crews that comes through and they come in the middle of the night. They come with no warning whatsoever very sporadically. And I pay for my parking spot. So I can't park on the street. I have to park in my paid spot in my lot underneath this large amount of trees. And every so often in the middle of the night, I'll wake up in the morning and my car is just absolutely plastered in bird shit. And it happens at least twice a week between the months of maybe like November and May or no,

probably like I'd say, yeah, yeah, like November and May. And I have no idea when they're going to come. I have no warning. So I can't park anywhere else. And I can't go to the car wash because when I go to the car wash, the people yell at me and tell me that they can't clean my car because there's too much bird shit on my car. And they are incapable of cleaning it. I've never heard of that in my life. Yeah.

Yeah, I know. I said, am I supposed to bring you a clean car to the car wash? I thought this was what I was supposed to do. And they said too disgusted. Yeah. They literally did. They shamed me. It was horrible.

That would really hurt my feelings. It did. It very much hurt my feelings. If someone said, your stuff is too disgusting to clean and I'm like, I'm just dropping off some shirts at the cleaners and they went like, pit smelled too bad. Exactly. You nuts? It is embarrassing. You want to see some pictures?

It's very embarrassing. Yes. Yes. Yes. Today's a day of visuals. Let's see. How bad this is. Gil,

you want to break down what we're seeing again? Oh, my God. It looks, okay, so there's a car. It looks as this is in December, and it is covered, riddled, in fact, with dog shit. I think it's snowing outside, but I can't tell me. Birch shit. Bird shit.

That's a different thing. There's a different thing. There's a bit of a tree. There's a dog shit in the tree. From the sky is a nightmare. I'm sorry, there was so much that I thought it had to be a bigger animal. Okay. And the security guard at the bank said people have been taking pictures of it all day.

I think I have to move because I don't know how to stop the crows. They are too powerful. Agreed. It is completely, it's, oh my God. Oh, my Lord. It honestly looks like if someone could paintball bird shit. Yes. And you got annihilated.

Yeah, it's covered. Okay, it's covered. All right. And this is a view from inside the car, and there's shit all over the window. Oh. And then now it's inside the car. The windshield, there's about, I would say,

you know, close to between 50 and 100 shit spots. Yeah. Bird shit spots. Oh, my Lord. It's a safety hazard. I can't see through my windshield. No. And you can't clean it because it freezes.

Oh, that's the other part. I forgot about that. It's cold. I can't believe. I believe I'm on the car wash's side. Oh, look. Okay, so now we're in the car wash now, and it looks, or is that snow? That snow.

That's snow. That's snow. That's snow. And the yellow little droplets are the dumps. But I forgot all about the ice factor. You're talking about, you're going to need one of those scrapers to scrape the ice off your windshield, and there's crow shit everywhere. This is a disgusting mess, Shannon. This is really bad.

This is tough. It's bad. So the first couple times that happened, I took my car to the gas station and I used, you know, the little like set-ups they have just to, yeah. And I did my best. I did what I could. And it made it drivable. Yeah, but it ain't great. But, you know, after, yeah.

And it's, it's ruining the paint on my car. It's disgusting. And it gives you those gross streaks. Those things are disgusting. They're disgusting. I would also imagine after a season of frozen crows. Pro shit. Your car's paints cannot be doing it. You're losing value for sure.

And I just bought this car as well. That's crazy. That car looks 20 years old to me. Without question. It's like your car smokes. Yeah, agree. And lives in a casino where you can smoke. And is outside in the Arizona sun all the time. And also is covered in bird shit.

Okay, so Shannon, to get to it, we could all keep piling onto this car, but what's the point? What have you done to try to stop the crows at this point? Because the hard thing I'm going to tell you from my point of view right now, same. After doing this show is we don't know when the crows come. That's the thing. So I'm at the point where I'm thinking, can I put them onto my neighbors?

Can I try to put a bunch of shiny items or bird seed onto? to my neighbor's cars, so they go over there. Or do I try to lure them? Give the problem to someone else. Or do I try to befriend the crows? Because, you know, there's that thing where you can, you can make crows befriend you apparently. Well, crows are a member.

Then they won't, they won't poop on my car. Yeah. That's definitely an angle. Which makes me think if they, yeah, they are very smart, which makes me think they're doing it on purpose. It could be. I read this really interesting thing in either, I think it was Norway,

where they're doing a thing that if a crow drops off a piece of garbage into the garbage, it could go to another area and get a little feed. Wow. So if it picks up a cigarette button, puts it in, it goes to another thing, it learns. Yeah. If someone running for president just said they'd do that,

they would get my vote. I'd be single issue. I'd be, let's fucking go. How cool is that? A bunch of crows cleaning up the garbage. Amazing. That's the city I want to live in. Where you have like, literally you're like,

the crows are at work guys. Everyone goes on that street. I've been working all fucking day, man. I'm fucking beat tired. I work all day. I got nothing to save. All this I do is get food to eat at the end of my shift. I guess it beats shitting on that car all day, right?

Bob crows. You know what it fucking beats? It beats sit on a fucking tree, hoping food falls in my fucking mouth. My kid does. Hey, you know, she leaves spaghetti out. I'm supposed to pick up the garbage. It's all things, crazy.

My life's a nightmare. Okay, so I like what you're kind of saying, Shannon. So if we think about how smart crows are, what I don't want to do is I don't want to put it on another person's car because then they might call it and we might have another problem. But if they're only there for two weeks out of the year, do you see the crows any other time? Like, are they around?

But it's only two weeks have taken home. large shits? It's like two months. Two months. Okay. But they're not there the whole time. They just come at every, like randomly, every so often in those, in that frame. And it's your car specifically.

So is there a tree branch above you? Are you beneath a certain, are they all live in somewhere? Or like, is it, do you park under their home? Yes, but it's a designated spot. So I can't park it. anywhere else. You can't complain to the people who are booking the spots and say, look,

here's where I'm at. You've got to move me. Like, let this be someone else's problem. Or I got moved. Yeah, cut down the branch. Or cut down the branch.

Maybe they can pay. Oh, it's the whole tree. Really quick, really quick. On this one, for the first time, I tried to cheat a little bit and I googled.

And I tried to write how to, this is why dyslexia is funny. How to attract crows. But I've also been thinking of you guys, but I wrote how to attract crowd. And as we've been talking, I looked down and it said, spread the word, promote on social media. And I was like, that's crazy. And then I got a street performance, starting with a strong opening act, interact with mastervise, keep energy high and I literally thought this is some of the dumbest stuff.

My pitch is going to be keep your energy up and get a crowd. I mean, you really got a strong opening is going to be. Crows are really going to get out there for that. Maybe do a two for one kind of thing. Shannon, why not a car cover? Why not? Is there not a cover you could throw over your car?

I know it's a pain in the ass. But if you thought... No, see, I've thought of this. But then I'm going to be come out to a, frozen A piece of tarp covered in frozen shit That I then have to pick up

Take off to drive Also gross And then put back on Covered in frozen Would? Yeah Well go ahead Jake And then I'll ask my question

No I was thinking more of a pitch That's a weird invention Like the idea of an umbrella top Oh like a Like a yeah like a top Like we just something that you create suction

Like a car. Like a portable garage. Yeah. That just for those two months, you suction it on the top of your car. Like a little tent. Actually, wait. That's good. A little tent is actually good, too.

If you could have the room to do a little tent, I don't want to talk away from car umbrella. But yeah, something like that would be fucking great. Or get up in those trees and put a little tarp under their butts. Well, you know, so basically, crow diapers. You know, I had this problem with, like, raccoons in my backyard, and there's, like, little devices you could plug into, or, like, dig, you know, you put them in the ground, and they make a sound that, like, annoys the raccoon.

Maybe there's something you could put in the tree that just, like... Wait, what was your issue with raccoons really fast? They were just coming back and eating... We have, like, an orange tree, and every time they would fall, they would just, like, eat the, like, leave tons of oranges and shit everywhere. Everywhere. And how did you get rid of the raccoons?

With these little like, like they have like a, they have like a sensor. So every time like an animal passes by them, it like emits some like, so this is really quickly to the woman whose grandparents have been overrun by the raccoons. We just did a follow up.

I know you're listening. Do Gill's advice. Try the sensor. Put it inside their attic and all around their house. And let's see if that works. Shannon, back to. back to you for a second.

What do you think about creating some sort of a device thing or a sound thing to make that tree? Because you could also get like you could use something in your car and point like a light sensor up there. So when the crows come to this tree,

we're maybe trying to just get them to move away from the tree. What do you think of that as an idea? Yeah, I think that could work. That's a good plan. I have an idea that's stupid, but there might be something to this because our pictures right now are kind of reasonable, but I don't think she's going to do them. Yeah. No, the umbrella, the umbrella.

That's my favorite. That's my favorite, too. Here's something that, again, I'm not standing behind this. I'm hoping this gets heightened and pitched on and gets better. It's going to sound like a joke, but it's not a joke, but it is not thought out enough. And there's no real second half. what if when you see the crows you make a plea to them

and you try to communicate with them where you point at the car and you have seeds for them like you're throwing food further away from them and you do a physical dance you get you're trying to get real into the hocus pocus

of this whole world and you're pleading with them you're saying like I give you seeds I don't think you want to give them seeds because like let's say it doesn't work. You're fueling the problem a little bit,

but I like the idea of some offerings. I think some shiny offerings, some things like that might be a good idea. I like the umbrella too. I also think that we can, I can even do this off air with you. I can call this car wash and be like, you're my client.

And the idea that you're rejecting someone because they're cars. No, we're not doing that. Thank you. Go ahead, Jake. So, you know what we could also do what if we created something on the top of the car

that looked like this is a little weird but what if we did a picture of a crow baby a baby crow? Crows fell bad yeah well if there crows are smart like we had a crow in our backyard and there was a nest and the baby fell out of the nest and died and we did nothing

but my wife then trying to be sweet took the dead baby bird and buried it. Well, the crows thought we did something to its baby and hounded our asses for, might be exaggerating, but I think about a month. Wow. They did a study where they can remember stuff up to 12 years.

They get pasted. Yeah. So we could try to find something where they might be smart enough where your car's a toilet and how do we change the toilet into it's a photo of them it's their family

so just to see how smart these sons of a bitches are we turned it into a science experiment maybe get a decal of a family of crows that goes on the top and they go like I got to take a shit I'm going to go to the toilet and then they go like this what am I looking at that's my son Maybe take a photo of them

And then put that on the top of your car Each day in that period when you leave And it's simple You could just put it into the car and close the car doors So it gets like sealed on Just so good they go And then if one of them takes a shit on them The older crow goes like hey hey hey hey hey hey

Don't shit on us Shit on that fucking other Subaru A city full of Subaru I couldn't even figure out what make or model it was it was covered in so much shit. The good news is, Shannon, you are playing with house money. I'm not, unfortunately, your car, your car is ruined. So we can be a little experimental.

So I do think my first instinct is try to offer up some shiny things, some peanuts, some stuff like that, and see if that may be dissuades. Gil, what are you thinking? I'm thinking the tent thing. I don't know how far you're parked. or talking to the people and saying, can you offer me maybe a different spot? But I don't know how close you are parked to the other people,

but like a beach tent, you know, where you just put the poles on each side and it's just higher up, sort of like a car park, and now you just park under it. I'm thinking weird out, have a long conversation with them, nobody around, throw a voice note on, pay the tab so we could hear you, talk to them, ask him to stop shitting on your car,

so you respect them in their community. but it's ruining your vibe and then the next step is I'd put a photo of them on the car but the question to you, Shannon, is, what do you think? Well, I'm always going to go for the cheapest option because, you know, I'm a poor grad school student. So I'm going to start with Jake's solution

and I think I'm going to try pweeing to them. But I'm also going to go with Gareth and I'm going to try to give them some offerings in the process of my pleas. I like this, but... Give us an example, then, Shannon. Just off the top of your head. Let's hear what you might say to them.

Close your eyes for a second. Forget you're on this podcast. Who gives a shit? We could cut this, too. So there's a real chance. This is just for us and nobody else on a Zoom. But put yourself there and talk to them real. Don't think about being funny or clever.

crows don't get your sense of humor and I'll tell you what they're not going to listen to this goddamn podcast but what could you say to them pretend they can understand you right let me think probably be something like I respect you guys I've never done anything to you I was afraid of you for a long time

but I've come to understand you and your ways and this is just not it's just not cool at this point because I just want, I want to have a mutual symbiotic relationship. I really just want to get along. I want us to coexist. I'm willing to supply you with whatever you'd like to bring you joy.

If you please just promise to stop making my life miserable for these two, three months out of the year. It's just really hard for me and I just really want you guys to get. give me the respect that I'm trying to give you. So I'm asking for, please. I think that's going to work. Very reasonable. By the way, we all say how smart crows are.

They're in Sweden picking up garbage, right? They hold grudges for 12 years. We as humans, this whole last decade or so is how smart crows are. Let's see. I like you to tell that word of crows and they don't listen. They ain't that smart. They are also birds. stupid-ass birds.

So they are. But I do think there's a world. But her tone to understand her tone. Be pointing at your car and go like, no, no. I let's listen, Shannon, start with this, see where you get to, and call back. And if the crows are ignoring you, we can start pitching on maybe a little more of what Gil's talking about.

I do think the idea of like a tent or something like that. Part of why that will be good too is because that tells the parking people, Hey, guess what? I'm taking matters into my own hand. I mean, this is... Let's start with the speech and then follow up. Start with the speech. The plea.

Okay. Sounds like a plan. Thanks, guys. That speech you just said... Yeah. I think it's really nice. I don't know if it'll work. I don't know if crows are going to listen,

but I know they should. There's a world where you get a crow costume and do it in that. All right, Shannon. Thanks a bunch. Talk to you later. It's not the worst idea. It's not the worst idea. Think about it.

You can order it real quick. Take care, Shannon. Thanks a lot. Put on a crow out. Thanks, guys. We're all signing again. Okay. Bye-bye.

All right. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Everybody check out our show on Hulu. It drops a day early, and there's also Back Catalog episode. That's right. So we're here to help is now on Hulu a day early.

If you want to listen to the back catalog, we're dropping those from season one and season two. It's just join us. Let's go. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here To Help. You can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash Here to Help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis,

associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike. Animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to garethrethrenolds.com. Remember all of the advice, given on we're here to help, is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a hate gum podcast.

This is Whitney. And the Lexong. A.k.k.a. the popcorn queen and king. Hey, guys. We just wanted to thank you. So much for all the love and support you've shown our family. As many of you know from episodes 224 and 231, we're navigating Alexa's second kidney transplant journey. And that journey has really inspired us to create the Arana Kidney Recovery Foundation.

That's right. The foundation helps transplant families with everyday expenses during recovery so they could focus on what's most important, healing. Now, whether it's lodging, transportation, groceries or other essential expenses, we're here to help lighten the load. If you'd like to support our mission, you can learn more or donate at A-R-A-N-A-K-R-F.org. That's A-R-F-F-R-F.org. Thank you so much for being such an incredible community.

And thank you for always being there to help. What's up, everybody? I'm Kyle Mooney. everybody I'm Beck Ben. And man, ooh, I got, we got something to tell. Oh, yeah, we definitely do. Yes, it's a brand new podcast on Headgum. That's right. And it's called What's Our Podcast? Yep, and that's because we don't have a single idea what our podcast she'd be about.

Yeah, we don't. So we actually have guests come on and they tell us what they think our podcast should be about and then we try it. Yep, guests like Mark Marron, Jack Black, Brittany Broski, Caper Lan, Bobby Moynihan, Meg Stalter and Tim Balls. Landon Axler. Jory. Joni McGreeze. And Dender. And Dender.

New episodes release every Wednesday. So subscribe to what's our podcast. On YouTube or any of your favorite podcast platforms. Yeah. I'm going to go do it right now.