We're Here to Help - 323: Pickles and Ranch & Kenny Z (with Rhett and Link)

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

Gareth and Jake are joined by guest helpers Rhett and Link, hosts of Good Mythical Morning. First, they stop a mom from dumping condiments on the curb. Then, they pick the real MacKenzie.Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. And we're back. Gareth, take over, get us started, and then we'll get into this vasectomy. Well, from Good Mythical Morning, premiering on Netflix soon. When is it, when is it, when is the new season on Netflix? September 7th. September 7th, Natalie.

Monday through Friday. Oh, so you guys are going Monday through Friday on Netflix now. Oh, yeah. And so what happens? Because you guys, sorry to jump right into this, but you guys have been killing it so much on YouTube. What inspired the move? Well, it's not a move.

It's an expansion. So it's still going to be on YouTube. Okay, now I get it. So it's just other eyes can see it, but you're keeping everything you're doing. It's the same thing we do. did with Hulu then. Yes.

Okay. So you guys are just. Exactly the same thing. Okay, perfect. Goes both places at the same time, same day. Right. So for everybody's been watching, it's going to be the same. It's just, hey, let's find some new audience on Netflix.

And you guys really quickly, we're going to get in the vasectomy, but what is, how did you guys start doing this together? You guys have absolutely exploded. We know Josh a little bit. So that's how we've been introduced to the world. But your guys' studios are great. You have a huge base. And you guys just created this on your own.

It's really impressive. uh well thanks for saying that yeah we uh we've been on youtube since basically the beginning you know and um we've we've known each other since we were in first grade so over 40 years and we've done good mythical morning for 15 years over 3,000 episodes of it but yeah we were we were those guys who would just make videos in uh high school college and i mean but but It was years later when YouTube was invented 2005, but we had a number of, like a bunch of videos we'd amassed in this dream to like do something together.

So once it started and you had to think, you guys already had a library and you're told. It wasn't great, but it, I mean, nothing was great. We had enough to kind of like, well, we started, we had a website, right? So we were literally hosting our videos on our website where if a lot of people watched a video, like we would have to pay more for our server space.

But people could take the videos, and if they had QuickTime Pro, they could download the videos and then upload them to YouTube where people actually saw them. And so we were like, oh, we should probably do that on purpose. Yeah.

And so, yeah, and then, you know, like a lot of people at the time, we thought, oh, this is like the Farm League, this is how you get into real entertainment, traditional entertainment. And so, you know, we would, we hosted a few TV shows and had like pilots and everything. We're always trying to kind of like transition.

Totally. That we would get a season of something that wouldn't work out. And then we were like, okay, let's just keep doing the YouTube thing, the thing we have control over. And then when we started Good Mythical Morning, it was, let's just do something that we can do every single day. Because we kept seeing people who were doing daily content, like vlogs and family vlogs, which we did not want to do.

to bring a camera into our house. Yeah. We were like, oh, we could just sit at a desk and talk. We can do that for 15 minutes or so. And then slowly over time, it turned into what it is now. Well, and to your point of saying you don't want to, you wanted to kind of keep, you know, an idea instead of inviting people into your personal lives, that leads us to the double vasectomy.

Yeah. Which is actually a little more inviting. That wasn't personal at all. No, no, no. You don't want them in your living room. Let's see the nuts. But you two got your vasectomies together, and I got a vasectomy on our show,

and I'll tell you my little quip about how it relates to you in a second. But that had to be a very bonding experience. Yeah, I mean, we call it the brosectomy. Yeah. And it was an episode of Good Mythical Morning. I was pretty nervous, so they gave me a pill that I really liked to have. A valium.

A valium. It was really nice. Phenomenal value. And then, so, you know, that kind of loosened things up a little bit. And our just, incidentally, the cords need to be loose down there. Our doctor was Dr. Hyman. I mean, it's just, it's almost perfect, but not really at all. But it just, it feels like it's worth mentioning.

It is. And he was, he was great. And what I have, what I have learned now is that he, he, shows that video to he sends patients to that video to prepare them to say just look how not a big deal this is

it's a YouTube video see we're the instructional video for for seconds at his clinic when I was trying to find someone to allow me to film mine we talked about it on the show everyone was like you have to go to Dr. Hyman

and so yeah that's how okay so that's how I got That's what I watched the vasectomy. Okay. And I called Dr. Hyman's office, and I'm thinking, hey, this guy's open to, they passed on my vasectomy. Dr. Hyman passed on my vasectomy. I had to drive to, like, Laguna Hills and go see Dr. Spitz also.

Wow. Good. Maybe better. I mean, but Spitz is the guy you get of Hyman passes. When Hyman passes, you get Spitz. Well, I guess maybe he just thought it just couldn't get any better than the experience he had. I genuinely think that's the case. I think he was like, look, I mean, I've, you know, I did the good mythical morning one, so what am I going to do?

That's all so shocking. It all the end of the ego hit. It is. He took it into Hollywood. He goes, I'm going to pass on this. That's your job. You don't pass on bisectomy. Your podcast on Hulu?

I didn't realize doctors could pass. He passed. That's incredible. The psoctomy. Well, dude, thank you guys so much for being here for real. The calls are awesome

so everyone can enjoy that. And then everyone can go watch Good Mythical Morning on YouTube as well as Netflix, September 7th premiere. Congratulations on everything. Thanks, fellas. Yeah, thanks for having us.

Thanks, guys. Appreciate you. Hey, everybody. I'm asking you to check out my movie The Sun Never Sets, directed by Joe Swanberg, starring Dakota Fanning, myself, Corey Michael Smith, the King, Lamorn Morris, Anna Conkel, and Debbie Ryan, and others. You can catch it now playing in Chicago, and everywhere on September 4th.

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Greater than 50 gigabyte may slow when network is busy, includes up to 20 gigabyte hotspot, capable device required, availability speed, and coverage varies cementmobile.com. Hello. Hello. Hi, can we get your name, please? Let's go with Raven.

Raven, beauty. Yeah. Raven, how old are you? I think I'm 34. Sure. That's right age where you stop carrying. And where are you calling from Raven? And then I'm going to tell you the good news.

We have a couple of a banger guests helping you today. Yes. You're going to be excited. I'm calling from Miami, but I'm originally from Chicago, and that's where my problem is. Okay. Interesting. Sounds like a blues setup. By the way, it really does in a cool way.

Yeah. My problem's in Chicago. We are very lucky you would be joined by. Rhett McLaughlin and Link Neal are also going to help solve your problem today, Raven. These guys are killers. Killers. All right, Raven, we're going to do our best. If you guys have any initial questions, go ahead.

If not, we encourage you, Raven, to just start crowing. I think you need to get into it. All I know is that there's two cities involved. You're in one of them. We're all in the same team. And maybe you're 34. Yeah, and you're not named Raven. And you're definitely not named Raven.

Yes. So first of all, let's get into it. My mom's a great guy. She's been a school nurse for the Chicago Public Schools for 30 years, works with special needs kids, raised me and my sister basically on her own. She's earned the piece that she has found in her beautiful house on the northwest side of Chicago.

A couple things we need to know about the house. It is located on a dead end street. Also on one side, there's a big-ass park, like a big empty field with a little playground at the end. And on the other side is train tracks. And because it's a residential street, the train tracks have like a bunch of bushes and shrubbery with a little curb that's like really nice to sit on. And it creates this like little clubhouse, which is just the perfect setup for all of the local teams to come hang out and drink booze. smoke weed. Sure.

So last summer, I was home visiting and she started to tell me that there was one group of local teams that had been really loud and they were there really late and getting really annoying. So she had one incident where she went out late at night to tell them to leave and one of them said, hey, fuck you, lady. To which she replied, you think you're a big. man using swear words? Well, I can use those words, too.

Get the fuck out of my bushes, you fucking dirtbags before I call your fucking parents. Ooh, wait, really quickly, Raven. How old was this boy? About 14, 15. Right in the wheelhouse that mom could still give it to him. Okay. Oh, absolutely.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So it was kind of like the first sign that we were witnessing like a little bit of a villain origin story. for my mom. He's typically a very sweet lady. I have a young niece and nephews, and I got yelled out for swearing in front of them.

But this came out of her that night. And then while I was home visiting, I pulled up in front of her house and saw her, she didn't see that I had pulled up, so she didn't know I was there. And I saw her standing at our porch holding a jar of tickles and a bottle of ranch dressing.

and she just very calmly and purposely walked into the bushes with the little clubhouse like curb ledge thing where they like to kind of stash their booze and stuff. And I watched her dump the pickle juice all over the curb and then squirt the ranch dressing all over the curb. Wow. And then come out like that was a normal thing. She's spraying.

She's spraying. He was ranting the curb You're talking about like a straight cat My question for all of you My question for all of you Is how do we convince my mom That she's not in a holy war With the local teens

And they're just being kids And get her to stop ranching the curb Oh Interesting Great set up Raven This is This is deep Have you, has anyone, Raven included, seen, there is a documentary that I think was on Netflix this year that is about a very similar situation.

Okay, so you have seen it. So you haven't seen it. I don't remember the name of it. What is it? So, is it called the perfect neighbor or something? I think it's the perfect neighbor or something like that, yeah. Yeah. So essentially we are dealing with a very similar situation and spoiler alert, this woman ends up shooting one of the children.

No, this woman shoots the mom of one of the kids. Either way. It's very dark. Very dark. With ranch, I hope. With ranch and pickles. It's very dark. That is where this can go.

And the interesting thing is as I was watching this movie, Raven, I was thinking before I realized what this woman was capable of. And I'm not saying your mother is in the same ballpark. I was like, what would I do? because it's so difficult to reach kids of this age, right? Impossible. Yeah, if not impossible. Well, especially when they found a cool place to drink and smoke cigarettes and vape. Yeah, right.

So this is the zone. Oh, yeah. That is the thing, too, is I want it to focus on more my mom's reaction than what the kids are doing because, like, it's the perfect part to drink and smoke weed, like, before. my mom lived there, I drank and smoke weed there. Like, it's a really good spot. So, like, these kids will graduate and more kids will come. You know what I mean?

So, Revan, I like what you did here. And, guys, the premise of this show is that we try to always be on the caller side. And so it's not how do we get the kids out of there. She said, how do I get mom to relax and stop ranching the curb? So what we're trying to pitch on is what Raven could go back to her mom on to get her mom to realize that not only are these kids going to drink,

but kids in the next generation are, she did. And how does mom relax and accept the fact that there's something nice about it? Like, they're not doing anything bad from what you're saying. They don't destroy mom's property. They just sit in there,

they drink a little bit and they hang out and they think they're cool. I mean, does your mom drink or smoke weed? My mom doesn't smoke weed. My mom drinks wine a little bit.

She doesn't get drunk much is what I would. But if mom went out there and had wine with the kids as they were drinking shooters and, you know, Mickey's,

and your mom just has a glass of wine and small dogs with them. Yeah, I like that. She could, she could dress like the Steve Bouchemmy meme if we wanted to. She could have a red hat on backwards, hold the skateboard act like a pier.

But I do like that. I do like breaking bread. She does have to come back a little bit from the hole that she is dug with the, agreed. What was the exact quote? The triple fuck that happened?

Oh, that she can use swear words. to, well, there was that one where she just swore a whole lot, but then there was one time that I tried to explain to her that, because she thought one kid came during the day and kind looked around after she had put up like a candid camera sign. And she thought he was doing retcon. And I told her, I don't think they're thinking about you. I think they're just hiding booze and weed. And she said, they're going to think about me.

like kind of like in a thousand yard stare like in a fugue state like they're gonna think about me they're gonna think about me when they have ranch all over their asses you'll see she's going crazy she's gone ranch rambo um you are learning stuff about your mom there's this dark side to her that i think you're having to come to grips with right exactly yeah yeah i mean for all you know she's lived this second life where this bush and curb smoking and drinking area is her portal to hop on the train. You know, she might be hoboing it all night and you don't even know it. Maybe she's protecting something a lot more sinister that she doesn't want to let you in on. She can't let people know what happens at night.

She's got to get those kids out of there. Right. By the way, if that area were to be a pub in England, it would be called the bush and curb. Oh, that's so good. I, um... Put up a sign. Yeah, I got a couple strange ones, just to throw in the mix,

just so we could say no, but maybe it spurned some other thinking. I do like... I do... Well, these are going to be bad, so buckle up. I do like the idea of her going out there and maybe seeing that it's not so bad. I think if she went out there

with a little soft blank, and one of two things would happen. These kids would... either find a new bush and curb or there would be some sort of easy. Oh, Gareth, that's, hold on, you just, that's such a great idea. What if your mom puts a little older lady's bench out there and she is out there with another neighbor and she's always out there. That's where she has a nightly wine or her, at night she goes out there with an iPad.

And so when they come out, the way to really ruin a vibe, if you're looking to like be 14 and smoke pot and have a drink. Yeah. Is a 65-year-old woman. And even if she's not, if she's yelling at her off her phone. Well, then have her be on her phone there. Yeah. Knowing that's a really great.

Create a little bench and have it called like, you know, whatever. What's your mother's name? It's actually, this already exists. She has a patio that she's really proud of. And it has a sign over it that says the. patio established, I think, like 2016. This is perfect. If she can just trim some of the bushes, put the patio established, and I get two of them,

or a patio number two, a little cute chair out there. And when they guys come out, now, what she can't do is fight with them because for a 14-year-old, the fight is fun. Uh-huh. Be nice to them. If they're like, hey, just go like, hey, guys, sorry I yelled at you. I was being crazy. How are you?

How is school? What's happening? and you guys have homework? That is a killer. That is a vibe killer. Kill the fellas, what do you guys think over there? What are you thinking?

Yeah, because I just don't think there's a way to actually become a part of this group. I think that's... Yes. That's a fool's errand, right? Even if she hadn't already laid this track, that's a reference to the train. Yeah, I don't think that it would be a rewarding experience for her.

No. Even though some reason she did. And potentially illegal. Yeah, and so I do think, I think going in as a group, does she have friends that she would otherwise... The golden girls. To hang out with it. She does.

She very much does. I do, because the issues usually arise sometime around like 1 a.m. or 2 a.m. Oh, that late. Yeah. So I don't know if they'd be, like, down to push it. Like, I know my... I think the thing of her scrolling on her phone could potentially work. But then it is a little bit.

But not at one in the morning. No, that's up. Yeah, it is strange. But Raven, here's the thing. We're starting to pitch and what we think is how to ruin the vibe there. But you want us to get how to get mom to accept that? I'm thinking, like, is there any sort of, like,

scenario I can simulate or, like, lie I can tell her to maybe, like, scare her straight a little bit? Okay. I got one for you. Okay. You ready? Yeah. The next time you're into.

you're going to say that you're going to go try to make nice with these kids on her behalf and you're going to come back and pretend you were maced and you're going to say these kids are animals and they're out of control and she was right and you're so goddamn sorry that you didn't listen to her and she's going to feel validated and then you're going to pull that joker move where you sort of open your hands and you go mom they're kids they're fine you're overreacting they're nice. Or how about this? Going off of that, Raven,

that pitch bombed. I don't know if you heard, but there was, it's like I threw ranch and pickles on the call. Well, because Garrett, the first half I was, I was like, this is good,

the turn, I didn't understand at all. It was a very good resolution. Yeah, but what, yeah, it was like, it was there,

but here's what I liked about the beginning, which is where, what I got inspired by on it, what if you go, one night when you're in town, At night, you go out until you're like, I was up late and I was putting the garbage out. And I got attacked by a raccoon.

And it was six of them. And the kids, I want you to know, saved me. Where she goes, what do you mean? You go. Fake heroism. Yes. I was out there. And in the garbage mom, there was a mother raccoon.

And I guess the babies were there, but I didn't see it. And I threw the garbage. Someone's been putting ranch and pickles all over the place. And they were going nuts for it. They were going nuts cats. That's part of the issue. But you go, mom, I think the food you've been leaving out has got, so I went out there, and I fell, and these raccoons were coming with me.

And these drunk 14-year-olds came over with such an act of bravery, helped me up. They are such sweet kids. And I go, what are you doing? And I go, Mom, they literally have no place else to go. And also, some of them have troubled homes. So they're using this. We ended up having a great talk. They're out there bonding, making friends with each other,

and they're using alcohol to ease a little bit of their traumatic childhood. Which I did, Mom. And guess what? Mom, I used to drink there, too, when I was mad at Dad. Oh, God. Take away the ending part, Raven. What do you think of it? I'm going to take that part out.

Yeah, I think she'd cry. But what do you think of the pickles and the rant are on the curb? It brings the animals. Mm-hmm. You were almost attacked and the kids helped. Do you think there's a zone here? In what way could they have been helping me? Not the raccoons off.

Oh, yeah. Have you ever faced six raccoons? Yeah, I think. And even if you haven't, your mother has no idea what that scenario looks like, so you're good. Yeah. They're quite intelligent and they're very dexterous with their hands. Yeah, yeah.

That's a little human hands almost. The submission holds that they can, they don't have to leave marks or scars. Or, like, bleeding wounds. It's very believable to come back in from a raccoon attack with no blood drawn. No evidence. Especially after those heroes. Just a newfound respect for life.

But Raven, what do you think of that as an idea? You don't like it. I don't dislike it. It's not a like. I think I like options. Ret Link, what do you guys? You got any crazy pitches over there you're thinking? First of all, I love your pitch,

and I think the way that it's subtly at the end that clincher is, and by the way, this is all your fault, mom. Leaving food out is such a problem. I just love a full circle moment of it. It's very sobering. I have a slightly a different direction. Great, please. So you're interested in her well-being, her quality of life, right?

You want her to relax a little bit, And there's multiple ways to do that. One is to try to find a way to deal with an ongoing disturbance like this. Another is to lean into her role in this conflict. I don't know if you've ever been to the house where Walter White, in Breaking Bad, threw the pizza on top of the roof that is in Albuquerque, New Mexico. So I would love to go there. I once stopped there.

And the woman who lives in this house waits outside. for people like me and my son to show up to get our picture taken in front of this place. And she has made it her identity to be in conflict with anyone who shows up to the Breaking Bad House. She has cones that she's put up in front. Oh, my God.

She has installed a new fence. And she's not asking for like, pay me a little something, give me a little tip. No, she's just angry that they're there. And I don't know. Especially at this age, I think one of the things that keeps someone young is a goal, a mission, right?

You know, it's like you get to be that age and you might lose your purpose, but if she actually embraces the purpose of my existence is to be a thorn in the side of these children, not to the point where her own safety is ever an issue, but she could actually kind of embrace the villain role in a way that maintains the safety, but she can have some fun with it.

So that's another. Now this woman in Albuquerque, looked absolutely miserable. So I don't want that for your mother. But I do think that if you can't beat them, if you can't beat them and you can't join them, then you just have to constantly be a pain in the ass to your own pleasure.

Right. So you're telling her to adjust her expectations of her mother so that. Yeah. So you're flipped in the script here. I'm thinking for Christmas, you need to be buying your mother large quantities of pickles and ranch. It's a good option.

But here's something going off of that that we could also do quickly. Because one thing I was really loving about what you're saying is I do think she, like the woman in Albuquerque too, I think it becomes a huge part of their personality. And part of it is they're fucking bored. Yeah. And so what if Raven, we create a fake situation in Miami that's happening to you that is really annoying that you need moms help? And so it's emails, it's calls, it's thoughts. She doesn't have time to worry about these little boys drinking because her daughter's living a nightmare in Miami.

She needs to be writing to the council people. She needs to be doing this. But it's a fake story. But you ask your mom, I need all hands on deck. Can you help me fix this with the city of Miami? You could set up some cameras. at your place and have your mom watch the cameras at certain times.

And dare I say, if your mother's not tech savvy enough, we could just every now and then throw in some weird footage from something to make her feel excited, like some guy throws a bunch of hot dogs to a raccoon or something like that so that your mom's going, what the hell's going on in Miami? I've got it good here with these boys in my curve. Yeah.

Well, going over that, If we did the fake camera, Raven, my friend Casey Wilson did a thing where she had their vacation house and they had a rat problem and she's really afraid of rats. So she set up cameras and asked people who listen to her stuff to watch when she wasn't around because the exterminators kept saying they had gotten the rats, but she kept finding droppings. So one of the things you could do with your mom is saying like you either have a raccoon problem. And then part of it could be you could say, oh, mom. this reminds me. They said the reason is I'm leaving food out. So I'd be really careful because the ranch and the pickles are going to bring a lot of rats.

But I now have a really bad rat problem because I've left food out. And could you ever watch this live stream sometimes? So we're keeping her busy and really scared of leaving food out because it creates a serious rat problem. And we can make up a story that your neighbor in Miami, is a fucking psycho older woman who leaves barbecue sauce out to like punish somebody. I really like this idea. Okay. Well, look, if you're into it.

So, well. Yeah, then Raven, tell us what you, if you like it, what you would do and how you would do it. And then if we hear anything, we'll pitch on the pitch. But what are you going to do? So I'm struggling with what kind of a problem? because I'm in like not a gated community. Like my building has like an atrium where like anybody who's ever hanging out there is basically somebody who lives in this building. Rat infestation because your neighbor leaves food out.

Right, but why does my neighbor leave food out? Because I want it to be something that's like similarly crazy. Disrespectful neighbor. No, because your mother's, oh, here's why. You go, mom, this is a really funny situation. but we have teenage boys who have been drinking out. Yes. Right?

Oh, there's an Airbnb downstairs. And there are like weird characters that come through. So it could be like the building management, like the guy who's in charge of our built, not building management, but the like, what is it called? Residence Council or whatever. He's kind of like. The residence council, exactly. You're raving.

Keep going. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So he'll, so he's mad. about the Airbnb people. So he's like always, he's trying to like make the atrium as like unhospitable as possible. So they stop.

Pickles and ranch. Pickles and ranch. And it's created a rat. I think it has to be a raccoon problem. They were. That's like Captain Antiniel cover band if I've ever heard. Go ahead, Jake. I apologize. But Raven, this is so clean though.

Yeah. You are having that your mother, what's happening to your mother of those kids is happening in your building with the Airbnb. Yeah. It's whatever the equivalent of pickles and ranches, this other woman who's the same age as your mom is doing it, but you, similar to the other neighbors, are now paying the price because she's creating all this trouble. And none of you guys care about the partiers.

But what you do care about is how much she's ruining everything by doing this big fight and screaming at them at one in the morning and leaving barbecue sauce and tortilla chips out. and it's creating a big raccoon issue. And mom, could you give me some advice of how I can get this woman to chill the fuck out? Because she's ruining my life, not the partiers. Wow. Yeah.

I love that. She's accidentally given herself advice. Yes. Yes. That's true. She's asking. The call's coming from inside the house. She's accidentally giving herself advice.

That's great. By the way, Pickles and Ranch did hit me harder reflecting upon it this time that that's what you other did. That is quite a move. Yeah. But Raven, I think this is going to work. Are you going to do it? I am going to do it.

Where can I find crazy footage of raccoons eating things off a porch? It's called the Internet, lady. I mean, honestly, I'm sure. We can't do everything for you. Yeah. We did a lot. He got to cut your own chicken sometimes. Before you go, Link, can I just ask you,

what would your father do in this situation, do you think? Because your father's quite a character. To use his own voice. My dad, that will be correct. He is quite a character. He lives in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. He talks just like this.

He talks to me on our. podcast, which we have called Dispatchezer from Myrtle Beach, and he would, he would assimilate. That's what I thought you'd say. And if he did, he'd say, hey, listen, I know some hobos, I can have them come off the train and ambush those boys from the other side. And they'll never be hiding in them bushes again once they get a load of my hobo friends, they're not going to want to be on that curve. Yeah, that is the only thing that teenagers.

are afraid of is hobos, potentially. That's as old as time, that tale. Yeah, right. Well, Raven, there's always that option. Nuclear options is the hobo pitch. But I do think what we just said is going to work well for you. Will you keep us posted? And honestly, I do think Jake, maybe we could reach out to the community

if we want to get some postings of some options for some of these videos. If anybody's got it and send them in. We could escalate slowly, but, Okay. You know. Here she is this person, the landlord, squirting the ranch and the pickles. And then you splice. Here comes the raccoons.

And here comes me slipping on the stuff, getting attacked by the raccoons. I guess if we're signing up to make the footage. Well, but I don't think we can go pickles and ranch. I think we have to do. Tortillas and barbecue. Yeah. Yeah. Pepper and chinis and French dressing or something.

Right. But if you saw all of that action and then you spat it up, you saw like an older person putting, an older woman putting barbecue sauce and tortilla chips, then you waited, you saw the time loves, and you saw like a bunch of raccoons, then they scattered when like a young girl went out there to throw something out,

then the raccoons attacked, and the teenage boys helped. It could be like the best video of all the time. So now we're, I think we're producing the shoe, Raven, which we can't do. I'm so excited. You know what to do here, right? Really quickly, in a couple sentences,

tell us what you're going to do. Okay. So I am going to, the next time my mom calls start planting the seeds of a saga going on with the head of our building council who's in a fight with all of the Airbnb guests

being loud, he can't get them to leave. They're smoking and they're drinking in our atriams. So he's leaving a bunch of food around, and it's creating a huge problem. And then I'm going to give her, like, clips that are going to supposedly be from my ring camera of raccoons coming and eating the food and potentially someone being attacked by a raccoon if I can find it. If you can. Incredible. Yeah. Keep going on.

I'm really excited about this. Oh, and then I'm going to ask her to, like, get involved. in solving the problem and pitch me advice on how to convince this crazy council lady how to stop luring rodents in your atrium just because she's mad at some 20-somethings who are smoking and drinking at our patio. That's exactly. And Raven, the main key going back to your question is after all this, when your mother has all worked up, you go, mom, how can I convince this woman to let you know,

the people in the Airbnb just live their life. And hopefully what Link said is she's accidentally giving herself advice. That would be. Because when she says it she might go, she might have a light bulb moment. Yep. That's what we're hoping for. That's what we're hoping.

And it might not happen, but I think we got a fighting chance. I'm hoping that she does it and doesn't recognize what she's just done. That's my number one, if I'm being totally honest. Or she's just saying, you can't be doing that. You're a loose cannon. Now, excuse me.

I need to go throw ranching pickles at these boys. If you're like, excuse me, I have to go throw pickles out in the drive. All right, Raven, follow up with us, okay? Thank you, Raven. Thanks so much, guys. Good luck. And we are brought to you by Squarespace. You know what?

I don't even need ad copy when it comes to Squarespace because let me tell you, first of all, they're hanging in there with the promo code. They're still doing the Gill sent me, and we love them for it. But Squarespace is a place where you can go and design your own website. Could not be more user-friendly, look so professional, all-in-one website platform. You're going to stand out and succeed online with Squarespace. My website is Squarespace. We've made tons of websites on the show with Squarespace.

It's just different ways to scale up your business. You look professional. If you even want to be considered in the game, you have to have a Squarespace site. We've got SEO tools. They're going to make you go higher, make sure your search engine features are optional. optimize. There's videos. There's contributions. There's merge. There's all these things. You're just going to be like, well, I actually have one of those websites. So if you're in the game, you have a small business, you're trying to promote yourself. Or let's say you want to do a like a wigs and swords

party or something like that like we did on the show. And you want to make it look real. Use Squarespace. So go to Squarespace.com slash gill sent me for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code. Gill sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website domain. That's it. Get involved. Hello. Hi. I'm so happy to be here. No, you're not going to believe what's about to happen. What's your name, please? Yeah, so my name is McKenzie. Hi, McKenzie. We're going to get into it, McKenzie, because we have Rhett McLaughlin and Link Neal joining us today. So this problem... Oh, my God. Yeah, so this is pretty cooked, honestly.

I'm speechless. Okay. Where are you calling from, McKenzie? So I'm calling from South Carolina. Well, well, well. All right. Okay, the underbelly. Yep, that's right. All right.

Link really fast. You want to give a little bit of love from your dad to McKenzie and ask her any questions to get us started considering with South Carolina. Hey, McKenzie, I know you're laying out there on the beach working on that tan, girl. You know it. Yeah, you're cruising down the strip. You're going to get you a big Johnson, T-shirt?

Maybe. It's raining right now, though. Maybe you don't live in Myrtle Beach. I do not live in Myrtle Beach. Where are you at? Are you in Columbia or something? No, I am on the beach. I'm the southern part of the state.

I have to be a little anonymous. All right, I don't want to do. Okay, Charleston. Saying you can't buy a Big Johnson shirt there, I think is doxing yourself in South Carolina. All right, McKenzie. What is going on? What can we help you with?

Yeah, so I actually just moved down here for a new job. And I came into the office my first day. I'd already known one girl that works there that she helps me, you know, find the job. I know her from previous networking stuff. And when I got there, a very small office, by the way, I noticed another person in office has my same first name. And I was shocked. I was like, oh, funny, what a coincidence.

That's going to be confusing in emails. And then I looked at her name placard, which is on the cubicle right next to mine. And we actually have the same last name as well, except one, well, technically two letters off. What? So I came in here blind. I did not know that there was going to be another McKinsey, let alone with our last name's rhyming. but they had had some time before my arrival to try and figure out nicknames. And everyone in the office has been trying to figure out how to go about this.

If nicknames are involved or if someone has to figure out a new name or what we were going to do, but the real problem is that our job is pretty serious. And basically the public submits applications to us. And being that we're also both younger women in a pretty serious field, when we go out and do public events and we introduce ourselves next to one another we come across

kind of like Tweedled D and Tweedle Dumb this actually happened the other day we were at a very serious networking event where the public was pitching ideas to us basically and it's just kind of embarrassing going like hi nice to meet you on McKenzie hi nice to reach on McKenzie and it basically just stills

I agree with this from right on right yeah Gareth and I are wearing matching shirts and it was embarrassing for us. Yeah, that's not as bad as... It just happens. But like, I get the thing. We need to flip it up.

We need to make a change. Just to be clear, like, your last name is Hansen and hers is Manson. So it's McKenzie Hanson and McKenzie Man. That's something like that, right? Yeah, pretty much. Okay. That is embarrassing.

And they're kind of a unique last name. It is worse. It is worse. I agree. Yeah. Yeah, if it was exactly the same, it would be bad, but this is worse. Yeah. We're just going to assume they rhyme.

Yeah, I mean, it's as bad as it. Also, yeah, they definitely rhyme, but to make matters even worse, we're about the same height. We have similar hair color. Again, it's not really a woman-dominated field, so it's unique enough that there's two young girls that look very similar with basically the same name.

Yeah, it's just kind of stupid, you know? It is. And because it's serious, you can't be like, I'm going to be Big Mac or something like that's not going to fly in your industry. Well, we had talked about doing something like that. She liked Big Mac, but I'm a little taller than her. Big Mac is already in motion. All of those, Gareth just threw up Big Mac.

You guys have already experienced. Oh, McKenzie, she's going to be Big Mac. Well, we've both heard the whole Big Mac, Little Mac throughout our lives. Like, that's a normal, my kids be saying. All McKinsey's everywhere are, like, totally normal. Yeah, right. That is such a McKenzie, like the McKenzie demographic of our audience right now is like, how did they not know this?

Yeah, Big Mac, Littleback, of course. Big Mac, it's the classic conundrum. Yeah. So we were hoping that you guys would either help us come up with new nicknames and we would put it to an office vote slash bracket and we would, you know, go with whatever the office voted on or if you guys have, like a fun idea of what to do because it can't just be total nonsense. It's again like, you know, it is kind of a public facing.

So McKenzie really fast. The other McKenzie is into this too. You guys are kind of buds. You're on this same page. She's willing to play ball. Yes, completely. And at work, you're fine to keep your names as is for company emails into the company, but it's more when you go out and you have to do a presentation and you are out in the field.

Or is this we're looking to change? someone's name all the time at work. Does it matter at the office or is this just when you're front facing to the public? I mean, it's kind of a little bit of both because when we're both in the office and we're in an open concept building, so we're all in cubicles and someone walks in and go, McKinsey, and we both like pop our little gopher heads up over the cubicle wall. It's confusing. And I'm just, McKenzie, I'm going to. All right. Actually, fellas, you guys go fast first. I see some and that two shot. I see some reactions.

You guys talk. Yeah. Okay. So are you familiar with the musician DJ marshmallow? The guy who wears... Yeah, he wears a marshmallow on his head.

Okay. If you've seen that guy, that's who he is. We once had him on our show. And I am reasonably certain we did not have him on our show because, after all,

it's a guy in a marshmallow head. We had a guy in a marshmallow head. Meaning that marshmallow can be in multiple places at once. Same goes with Blue Man Group. It's not the same guys every time. I think the fact that this company chose to hire you after knowing your name, you have just worked your way into a 20-hour week.

This is a hell of a spin. You're going to have Z. DJ marshmallow technique. There cannot be too many. Kissies, there is only one. Right. And you need to share the helmet. That's a wild spin.

I mean, that is the, that's the slam dunk. If that could be pulled off. But it can't because they... This is like a work-trap. This is big. Your parent-traff in it. It's a work trap. My question is, do you want McKenzie?

I mean, one of you can keep... McKinsey so I think there's a common name inter office intramural I'm not talking about mud wrestling I'm not so with you slingly I'm talking to Link I'm 100% with what I was going to go for

was some sort of competition for McKenzie and the loser gets the last name so do you guys have the kind of last names that people can say so that like you know is it a crazy last name or could it be a name that you introduce yourself as, McKenzie? Hmm.

What is that last name? I don't know about it. I mean, we could... What's your last name? Let us be the judge of it. We could maybe beep it if you really want privacy. Okay, yeah, that's fine. I think we can say the names, but then maybe not that where we work or we could do either

or. I don't know. But, so my last name is Bayer and her last name is Meyer. Oh, that's a... It's crazy. but also that's an easy name to be introduced as. Buyer? Ham buyer?

Maybe not. I don't look at this. It sounds like a job role. I love watching you get there. I know, but I hated it because I was not seeing it as B-U-Y-E-R until I said it. Hi, I'm McKenzie. And I'm buyer. Got me stuff?

And they're pitching you stuff. I'm in charge of generic purchasing. It sounds like. like a video game from back in the day. It's terrible. We are now just making fun of your last name. Hold on. There's also middle names, guys.

Yes. Ooh, McKenzie, what is your middle name? So we talked about that. My middle name is Kaylee. You hate it. Oh, you don't like it. You don't like it. Well, it's just never in my life

have I had to go down to my middle name. Yeah. And we do have another girl in the office. So that I'm not opposed to. I did have some kids grown up. MK.K. They'd be sitting. They'd call me that.

Oh, that's a good candidate. Well, I think that tying these two things together, the competition and then your, if you have a preferred alternate name, that could be MK, she needs to come up with a preferred alternate name. And then you both have to do some kind of competition overseen by your office mates. I agree. And the agreement is, hey, this is what we're going to do. We're going to decide in a certain way and you have to go with it.

And I think that you need to come up with some things that you think are important to being a McKenzie around the office. And you turn those into events. And so then you challenge her to something that you think you're good at that you can win. That also makes sense as a challenge. We can help you with that, maybe. Could it also be an anonymous vote? It's a whole series of them. Yeah, well, it could be two things.

Could it be a competition like seven events? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Or could it be a debate and a presentation? Oh. And the coworkers either vote or you guys come back on this show. My brother's got that app he created, we need to pick, and we could do an anonymous vote. I like that a lot. This is a great song we're in.

It's really tough because they come down to the hair since she's been at the company longer than me, like a year. She's been there like a year and a half. But I'm technically older. so I inherently feel like I get the McKenzie, but I fear that they're going to have loyalties to her, also because she's more intimidating than me. McKenzie. McKenzie.

So you remember the app my brother does that we did on this show for a while, and then we got bored of it called we Need to Pick.com, where people could vote on things and we get the numbers. Why don't you see if the other McKenzie want to each do a two-minute presentation, record them, send them in. We will air at the end of an episode. We will set up what we need to pick. We will reveal the numbers to you and her after the voting.

And then the loser has to go with their preferred second name. This is signed contracts. It lasts for two years. Okay. We can do that. What do you think? McKenzie, what don't you like about? This is clean.

this gets you out of the wood. What is the problem? No, there is no problem with that. We do also, can I choose that and another solution? Yes. Because I would love to hear, well, I would love to hear your guys' pitch on, like, funny, casual office nicknames just between the, like, a couple of us. Okay, how about Jennifer?

No, let me give me an example. One of our coworkers started calling the other one, Ronald, for Ronald McDonald's. And she hates that. But, like, that's a funny... I got a pitch. Just, like, casual... How about this? Let's all go in a circle

and everybody just throw out a random name idea for an office worker. I would say, since we have the M, let's make one of you the Mario and the other Wario, so we have McKenzie and Wackenzie. The evil one. How about... How about big redoubt? Red. Big Red. So truck driver energy.

Yeah. Yeah. So you've got, you've got McKenzie and the other one is Big Red. I don't know why that just goes with it. That can be an all. That's as simple as it's, hey, this is McKenzie. This is Big Red. Or how about hot sauce? I think other McKenzie could be a hot sauce. She's shorter and a little spicier. Are we just going to do like the, remember the Ann one, uh, Mountain D. tournament players, we could do the professor,

hot sauce. Hot sauce. Fellas, you got any terrible names we could throw? I was just thinking McKin Z, you know, emphasis on the Z. Oh, just a capital Z at the end or something? We don't have to change the spelling. ZMAC.

ZMAC is great. ZMAC is cool. I was kind of going for something there. Yes, ZMAC. I love that one. It makes you think of Z-PAC, though. In a good way. What's wrong with a Z-Pack?

What about Ken? It's a great. It's a universal antibiotic. What about Kenny? Kenny. You've got a... McKenzie, this is Kenny Z. How about Kenny Z?

Kenny Z. Kenny Z. McKenzie. I love that. What about Mack Z? What about Max Z? This is McKenzie. This is Mack Z.

You can't be Kenny Z. Kenny Z. As good as it gets. This is McKenzie. This is Kenny Z. This is Kenny Z. No, that's honestly so good Because my family calls me Kenny

Okay, so you just go by Kenny Kenny Z. disease is big for me. I'm probably coming in the office. Disease is important. I know, but McKenzie. And immediately giving up my name was like, I don't know, I felt so immersive.

McKenzie, it's not, it's a power play. You walk in there and you go like this. Hey, guys, I just want to let everybody know there's two McKinsey's. Our last ones are too similar. I'm going to start going by Kenny when we're in public, been in the office, I'd like to be referred to as Kenny Z. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

If somebody did that, I would literally look over and I'd go, you're the fucking best, Kenny Z, respect. And if I may, if I may. Respect. With Kenny Z comes a whole new variety of options for what you, the leash that Kenny Z walks around on is a lot longer than the one McKenzie is. Oh, yeah. Sunglasses, jean jacket, no sleeves. Sure. Unnecessary zippers on pants.

Yes, yeah, tons of zippers that lead to nowhere, like that weird house, that lady built. Your car is completely wrapped in like a barbed wire and a company name that doesn't exist. Listen, listen. Kenny Z, automobiles. Kenny Z, if I may, if you wrap your car like that, one of two things is going to happen. Kenny Z is going to get more respect than McKenzie, or they're going to ask the other McKenzie to change her name. To Kenny Z as well. Right, yeah.

So, McKenzie, we've given you a bunch of options of fixes. Listen, if you don't like it, I mean, just go with buyer-sellers, a first and and the last name. There you go. You're stuck with that. There you go. This is buyer-sellers. All right, McKenzie, let us know what you're thinking of doing.

What do you think, at Kenny Z? Okay, so I actually love that. I think that I'm going to go back to the office on one day, pitch the idea of the idea. of us having some kind of like competition or put it to the vote. We can both pitch our videos to you guys and then you can have a poll going on. And then I will have Kenny Z in my back pocket. And I don't know what nicknames he's going to have backed up. Okay.

So you, if you lose, well, here's the reality. You've made a real big mistake with our audience because anybody who's going to vote wants you to be Kenny Z. So therefore. Let's just make the loser Kenny Z. Can we decide that? There it is. There it is. You've saved it.

Loser becomes Kenny Z. I mean, but it really should be winner becomes Kenny Z. And our loser has to be McKenzie. Nobody loses. Winner has to be McKenzie. This is an Olympics to become Kenny Z. If they watch the video, if they watch the video, why doesn't the audience say, oh, wait, this one looks more like the Kenny Z?

Yeah, that's a great idea. rather than you guys compete, just make like a dating video of like who you are, what you do in the office. And then we'll have an office vote. Who should be Kenny Z? Who should be McKenzie? And then what we'll do is we'll have the audience vote. And then guys, if we can get you back, then what we can do is a quick follow.

We'll do it fast. We can come on your show and do it too. Whatever's easier for you guys. But we'll do like a quick 10-minute thing where we just go. Can your brother make me an app? Yes, 100%. But we do a really quick thing where we reveal what the office had said and what the people said and then we make our final call. Okay.

All right, yeah. I am so invested in this. I think we do the deal. I already feel so good. I do too. About what we've done. I agree. When McKenzie is making her case, though, we do have to do some sort of voice scrambling.

Oh, that's an interesting idea. We don't want them to know. No, which, who is who? Just pitch. Yeah, you're right about that. They're both going to be talking like this. Yeah, we'll do the dateline silhouetted thing. Silhouette, yeah.

Yeah. That's a good idea. This is great. The tech, by the way, our producer Natalie's excited to hear a lot of these pitches towards the end here. Right. But I do like that. I think pitch, let's have a live reveal.

We'll open the envelope and we will reveal who Kenny Z is. And that's what we call the winner. Yes. So now really quickly, McKenzie, because once we hang up, we're all going to be into different stuff, and we're all going to forget this until the follow-up. So you now tell us, what are you going to do? I'm going to talk to other McKenzie, and we're going to put together, I guess I don't know how long of a video each separately about our pitch.

Two minutes. Under two. And then send it over to you guys. And, yeah, see what the audience think. And then what are you going to do? Do we pick who is the McKenzie? Or do we pick who's Kenny Z? How do you want to, how do you want to organize that, McKenzie?

Does winner get McKenzie or does winner get Kenny Z? Well, I think that other McKenzie will be gunning for regular McKenzie, but you never know. Like, I think Kenny Z is fun, but deep down we both want to just be McKenzie. So I think we both are pitching. Yeah. All right, so it's a sincere competition. She hasn't heard Kenny Z yet, and I think it's unfair to assume someone hears that and doesn't fall in love.

Right. You guys are each going to make videos and winners, McKenzie, losers, Kenny Z? Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. Even the loser wins. I mean, you can't be to pitch where the loser wins. Right. Agreed. Fellas, thank you for joining our show.

We appreciate you. You guys keep killing it. Kenny Z, thank you for the call. You're already assuming she lost. Because I like Kenny. I like Kenny Zee. She's going to throw it. She's going to throw it.

She reflects on this. Who wouldn't throw it? It's going to fall in the first. 10 feet of the race. And then they have to do an Olympics to see who's McKenzie. I feel like I'm going to reverse my vasectomy. Have a child. Okay.

Just so I can name it Kenny Z. Oh, my God. All right. McKenzie, thank you for the call. Thanks, Kenny. Kenny, thank you. All right, so we have a follow-up about this is fish, this is family. This is wonderful.

Natalie, take it away, girl. Katie and Billy and Meredith and Cal are running the race this weekend, Labor Day weekend. They have a videographer. They have a cameraman. Oh, my God. And they will be calling in sometime after the race to let us know what happens and to share that footage. from Billy. I've got me and Katie

have been training nonstop. Cal and Meredith can refer to me as Quazilla now. Oh my God. Katie said we've been upping our cardio practicing three-legged racing and discussing race strategies with friends and family.

We will be sure to send pictures and videos of race day. Meredith and Cal have been a little quiet, unfortunately, but you know. Okay, but whatever happens happens. Whatever. This is family. This is wonderful.

Whatever they want to do. Um, that is a, that's a nice update. And can we put this at the end of Wednesday's episode? Yeah, I think so. Perfect. It's exciting. It is excited. I mean, it's the Limfish.

Fish Olympics. Everybody check out our show on Hulu. It drops a day early. And there's also back catalog episodes. That's right. So we're here to help is now on Hulu a day early. If you want to listen to the back catalog, we're dropping those from season one and season two. It's just join us.

Let's go. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions. Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fawler. The theme song by Oliver Raleigh.

The cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to Garethreth Reynolds.com. Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a headgum podcast.

Hi, I'm Nicole Byer. Hi, I'm Sashir Zameda. And this is the podcast, Best Friends. Headgum. So this is just a podcast where we just talk. Yeah. We're best friends. We talk.

And then we have a segment where we answer questions and queries. So the audience members can ask questions about friendships and we can answer them to the best of our abilities. Yes. We are professional friends. We are professional friends. Subscribe to Best Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, PocketCast, or wherever you get your podcast and watch videos on YouTube. New episodes drop every Wednesday.

That's the middle of a work week. I was deeply unhelpful to you during that whole thing. You were. I'm really sorry. I felt the support. I was so, okay. I was trying to be supportive. Yeah.

But I was like, I don't know, reading seems pretty hard right now. It's a lot. I think you did good. Thank you so much. You're welcome.