We're Here to Help - 324: Out To Lunge & Cool Girl Cliff Jump

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

Jake and Gareth design a workout inspired by a customer service disaster. Then, they stop a speech pathologist from jumping off a cliff. Plus, Steve Berg at the Detroit airport and a follow-u...p from Ep 296 "Fully Soaked (with Brandon Flynn)."Want to call in? Email your question to helpfulpod@gmail.com.PATREON: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:01 This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. I'm in a... I don't even know how to explain what's happened today. Just making sure that it's going into your microphone and not just like your... Let me double check here. Check see if you're sure seven. Yeah, sure, yeah, it's sure.
Starting point is 00:00:50 It is, it is echoey. No, I rented this place and nobody works here, and I only found one office that's open, and I just went in it, and it's huge and stupid. So I can probably move offices when we have a break. Wait, try to get, nobody works there? Nobody who cares. Let's just, I can't even, I walked in.
Starting point is 00:01:13 What city are you in? Chicago. go. Ah. So I walked in and there was just like, I was like, hey, I rented an office and everyone was like, yeah, we also rent space here. Nobody cares.
Starting point is 00:01:24 There's a phone number to call. So I called the phone number. There's another number to text. I've been like, hey, I rented this office. Where the hell is anybody? Nobody's gotten back to me. And then so I just walked around like a scavenger tried to open a bunch of doors,
Starting point is 00:01:37 found one that opened, and it's this weird-ass room. So I could probably move. I could probably move at some point, but I just did a cavernous I just don't even know what's happening I hope someone comes and kicks you out and tells you that that's a girl I swear to God
Starting point is 00:01:54 if anyone gives me shit you will see a side of me where you'll be like oh okay give us a taste of how you will behave I rented this place is Gareth breaking up now too yeah Gareth you're breaking up now too
Starting point is 00:02:07 well I mean at least his audio is fine it's his video do you have internet at this weird place yeah but I just It's like a... Hold on. Let me see if there's someone working here. What's going on?
Starting point is 00:02:21 Let's... Should we start a call and have this be part of the intro? And then put this call with this intro. Yeah, we can try it. We can go for it. And then I'll just keep catching Gareth up. What do you mean? Nobody works.
Starting point is 00:02:38 What is the name of the place you've rented? And by the way, we're in an intro, everybody. He just walked this. into a building. He doesn't even know if he's in the right building. I am in the right building. What is the building? Hold on.
Starting point is 00:02:50 I'm going to see if I can put... He joined a public internet. This is insane. Gary, Natalie's right. Are you in the right place? Yes. You have no internet. You're breaking up.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Hold on. Hold on one second. Hold on. This isn't the time for you to tell us to hold on. Hold on. You hold on. This is going to be fine. It's not fine.
Starting point is 00:03:16 Hold on. Also, you had time to put oils all over your face, but you didn't have time to back up where you were going. Look at how shiny he is. That's insane. That is an insane amount of glisten. He looks like he just ran a lot on. Your face is shining. I'm sweaty.
Starting point is 00:03:39 You have no internet. You are his. Strange office. You're frozen right now. And your face is glissing. I'm crying. What is... Is it sweat or is it oils?
Starting point is 00:03:58 No, it's creams. This is not an intro. This is an intro. But Garrett's really fast. What is the name of the office you're in? Workbox in Chicago. It's like a we work. But it's
Starting point is 00:04:14 different. But it's a generic work. Nobody works here. Did you save a little bit of money? No, I did this instead of the hotel Wi-Fi. Oh. So I didn't want to do the hotel Wi-Fi because it was spotty. Call the number for customer service while we're on. There was, okay, nobody's going to answer. What time did you start renting it? 12.30, half hour ago. 1230. I was like, somebody's going to be there. be here at some point. Yeah, for, it's not early.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Which location are you in? Jackson Street. Jackson Boulevard. Yeah. I love how that's sick. Come on, Natalie. I was just clarifying. There could be a Jackson Street and a Jackson Boulevard.
Starting point is 00:05:09 Workbox. At the tone, please leave a message for. That's crazy. One, record your message to the tone when you were finished recording, press down to cancel press star. Hi, this is Gary. with Reynolds from we're here to help. I rented an office from you guys. Nobody works here. I just found a cavernous one. I'm on your open guest Wi-Fi. And it's been a terrible
Starting point is 00:05:38 experience. And I'm friends with Jake Johnson. Jake Johnson's on this, or no, he's not. He's not on this show. It's just my show. I do a, it's about suits. And that's, and Natalie, Natalie, Rabbit Grin. What do you guys say? Anyway, I fucked up. I don't know. Really bad job. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Nobody's going to call you back after getting back. No, no, no. Pretty much. I don't think you even called the right number. It was a different number on the website. I'm a workbox company. I see on Wabash. It's the Union Station one.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Okay, the Union Station one. This cost $110. This experience is cost $110. Let's just make sure Garrett is in a real place. I am 600 West Jackson Boulevard. Are you in Sweet 100? Yes.
Starting point is 00:06:36 Room 8. How do you know that? It's on the website. It's a different phone number. Do you want to try them? Hey, Natalie, you call it. I'm not calling it. Just call it, Natalie.
Starting point is 00:06:47 Come on, Natalie. This is crazy. You guys have a real caller. Well, then bring them on. Bring the collar on. Jesse, let them in while we're doing this. I'll do the quick setup with them. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:03 I need to be made a host. I don't know why he said it like that. I don't know why he said it so sad. Here, I can let this person in. I'll do it, and I'll make you a host. All right, they're here. Hello. Hello.
Starting point is 00:07:19 Hey, how are you? Good. How are you guys? Good. Can we get your name, please? I'm Kylie. Hey, Kylie. So just so you know, you're in an intro right now.
Starting point is 00:07:29 now? Maybe. Because Gareth is in a weird... Gareth, do you want to tell Kylie what's going on? I don't. And Kylie, listen, I just want to do the show, okay? I was in a hotel. I'm in Chicago.
Starting point is 00:07:42 And the hotel Wi-Fi, I didn't love it. So I rented an office here in Chicago. It's called Workbox. I've done this before on the road. It's always been pretty straightforward. There's someone who works there. That's what this location doesn't have. Nobody works here.
Starting point is 00:07:59 so nobody got me set up, so I just found a cavernous room where I've set up. I'm using my phone's internet, which I could have done at my hotel. And Natalie's talking to somebody. And I'm sweaty. I'm going to have creams on. And then Kylie. The sweat and the creams are making a real. He's really shiny.
Starting point is 00:08:19 We have a second before we get to your problem. We're going to try to connect this to. Natalie is yelling. She's laughing with whoever she's talking to. They're making fun of you, Gareth. That's not the case. So, Kylie, really quickly, and then we don't have to do this when you're, you'll be our first caller on this episode.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Tell us a little bit about yourself. Where are you calling from? I'm calling from Kansas, and I'm in my early 30s. Okay. And what do you do? What's your day to day? I work at an architecture and engineering firm, but I don't do. I don't do that.
Starting point is 00:08:55 I do marketing for them. Sounds like you probably have an office with Wi-Fi. Or do you just show up to a weird building and just walk into a room and try to do your job? That's what Gareth says. Yeah. And Kylie, before you get there, do you put like a pound of weird creams on your face? Every day. Do you wear a lot of creams?
Starting point is 00:09:20 Every day they make me, actually. You know what's going to happen? I'm going to start aging like a president. You're going to go. you're going to Benjamin button it and then the last laugh is going to be you laughing at my old raisin face you're going to look like a baby boy
Starting point is 00:09:34 and I'm going to be like, honestly, Jake, you look like 200 years old. We're his same age. Get that Trump throat. So Kylie, before we get into your thing right now, Natalie has decided we've pushed her into calling customer service for Gareth
Starting point is 00:09:53 because Gareth had a number that he was calling the wrong one. And he left a terrible voice. I got to tell you, Kylie, right off the bat. There's a lot I would speak back to, okay? But I'm just going to let you... Go ahead. I call...
Starting point is 00:10:04 This is the number on the desk. Then who's she talking to? I don't know. She did it better, but it doesn't make my number wrong. What care of? She made one call. Who she's talking... He's becoming best friends with someone at workbox.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Okay, she's about to hop on, Kylie. What happened? Why did you become best friends with the workbox person? Well, because I was trying to help you. What do you mean? You have to be nice to get help. I agree. So Gareth, be quiet, please.
Starting point is 00:10:34 Natalie, what's happening? Thank you, Jake. She says that you're on the correct internet. If it's bad, then she'll try to help you and call IT. You need to go talk to her. Her name is Mason. And she's at the front desk. We'll do it now?
Starting point is 00:10:48 Yeah, go do it now. He doesn't know with the front desk. Well, I asked us. Is it obvious? and she said yes. All right. So we are going to end the intro now. And then Natalie,
Starting point is 00:11:05 can we just have Kylie be our first caller with this intro? Yeah, of course. Okay. So Kylie, we'll talk to you in a second. Okay. Everybody,
Starting point is 00:11:14 wait, Kylie, will you say everybody enjoy the ads? Everybody enjoy the ads. Hey, everybody. I'm asking you to check out my movie, The Sun Never Sets, directed by Joe Swanberg, starring Dakota Fanning, myself, Corey Michael Smith, the King, Lamorn Morris, Anna Conkle, and Debbie Ryan, and others. You can catch it now playing in Chicago and everywhere on September 4th. You can buy your tickets at www.the sunneversets.com.
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Starting point is 00:15:56 Kylie, we are back. We know Kylie, Kansas 30s. Tell us what's going on, and when Gareth comes back, we'll fill them in. Okay. So basically, I've been going to the same gym for about 17 to 18 years, like on and off. And you come up the stairs. is when you walk in and you can either go to the left, which is like the cardio, workout classrooms, bike, all of that.
Starting point is 00:16:24 Or you can go to the right, which is the weights and like I feel like where the more fit people go, like the bigger machines. And it's like haunted me, but I have like maybe once I've been able to go to the right side, but I always go to the left and I just do cardio. But I'm wanting to get the confidence to go to the right side and be like, on the weights and stuff, but I just, I can't. So I need, like, something to force me or incentivize me to go and use that equipment on the right side. Okay, so, I get, I know what you're saying.
Starting point is 00:17:04 So you got the cardio side, which you feel comfortable on, but then you got the weight room and you've never entered. Really quickly, Kylie, uh, Gareth is back. I was rude. What happened? rude. Well, it's just like, I was like, she's, there's no one here. And she was like, I'm right here. She was like, no, she was like, she was like, she was at lunch. And so I was like, that's cool. I booked it at 12.30. I was like, the whole point I booked it was for the Wi-Fi. The whole reason. And she's like, you're on the guest one. I was like, yeah. And now I'm on my phone's
Starting point is 00:17:36 hotspot. So the Wi-Fi is just bad. This, yeah. So I was like, I could have done this at my hotel. This was the whole reason to, it's crazy. I've, like I said, you've seen me. I'm, I'm, like I said, you've seen me. like in weird spots all the time. I agree. Just like, you know. They just have bad Wi-Fi. And I feel bad for this person because she's like, I don't know. And I'm like, yeah, this is not your fault, but I was like, I'm in a cavernous room. I walked into a room. So really quickly, did I call our show? What would you like to say to the company called Workbox? Workbox, listen, it's a step of faith when you rent an office for your work. You have the word work and box in your title,
Starting point is 00:18:19 meaning there's a little box where I can find and I can work. And I show up here. I may as well be in a subway sandwich place with the Wi-Fi. And I've just walked myself into, I feel like a little boy who walked into his dad's office, but with more lotions on. And I'm lost. I'm scared.
Starting point is 00:18:38 I want my $109. back. Without question, I want my $109 back. And this is just been crazy. Like the amount of little planning I did around this. I get it. I get it. All right. So here's the situation with Kylie. All right. She's been going to the same gym for 17 and 18 years. Okay. We're back. When she walks up the stairs to the gym, if you look to the left, it's all the cardio machines. If you go to the right, it's all the weights. Okay. She's always gone left. Gareth. She's afraid to go right.
Starting point is 00:19:14 She feels the more fit people go right. Because they do the weights, they do the circuits. She doesn't know how to cross that barrier and go right. Wow. So then, Kylie, what is the specific question you're asking, Gareth? I need hope with something to incentivize me or force me to use the equipment on the right side. Outside of your obviously general motivation to become,
Starting point is 00:19:46 what do you want to do in the weights room? Do you know? So I would like to just use, you know, like the squat rack, things like that. Like I don't know how to use some of it. So that might be part of why I don't go over there. But, you know, they have like instructions I can learn. It's just like a mental block that I have not gone over there. Kylie, I have a great pitch.
Starting point is 00:20:05 I relate to this a lot. Go ahead. This is going to feel like this was all. planned, but it's not, and it's going to feel like a weird ad. We need to create a workout right now called the workbox. And it's a box of work, a workout that is a box of equipment where you're going from four different machines, and you've got to for this show, do the work box twice a week. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:37 So really quickly, you want to use the, and look, we're going to, look, we. We'll tell you what to do. So squat rack is something you're interested in? Yeah. Okay. And have you ever done a back squat before? Yes. I have had my cousin show me how to do it.
Starting point is 00:20:54 I just didn't venture over there. Okay, so squat rack, about what weight do you think you want to put on that squat rack? You want to go light or you want to start medium or go heavy? We're going to go light to be. You're thinking about 100 pounds? Yeah, I could probably do that. So the bar is probably going to be 45 pounds? So let's say throw 25 on each side, okay?
Starting point is 00:21:16 Okay. So you're putting 50 pounds on the squat rack. What's another machine you'd be interested in using? Gareth, we're creating a box right now. Yeah, I get you. That's one corner of the box. What's another one? There's like a machine where you put your hands over your head and like pull down on a rope, like kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:21:34 Yes, I know what you're talking about. Well, tricep action? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so that would be you are facing a way, from it, you get it, and you pull the rope forward, correct? Yes, yeah. What are we going to call that? You want to call it elbow pull?
Starting point is 00:21:51 I was going to call it the kicep. The kisep? The kisek. The kylee tricep? Yeah, like the kylee kysep. I like the kysept. That's a little high kysp for me. So let's go a little bit lighter on that.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Let's go just, how about, 30 pounds? Yeah. That's decent. You think that's too heavy to start? I mean, yes, I'll say yes, because let's have her go in there. 20 pounds. The last thing you want to do, you know this move? I do this move every time I end up going to one of those,
Starting point is 00:22:27 or I'll be like, what do we doing, 55? And then I'll be like, can't move it, let's do 10. Okay, so you got the squat rack. If someone sees that, it's mortified. It's not great. You got the Kysapt. What's the third thing of the box? We need four.
Starting point is 00:22:41 We need four. I don't see, I don't know what equipment is over there, so I'm struggling to think of. Okay. So then here's one. I got one an easy one for you that's working with what we got. You got the squad. You got the kaisa. Then they're going to have big medicine balls, right?
Starting point is 00:22:55 They're going to have the bench, too. Yeah. Yeah, but we don't need bench right now. Okay. So if they don't have a big, heavy medicine ball, I want you to grab a 25-pound dumbbell or a 20-pound dumbbell. They will have the hand weights, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:11 You grab each side of the, you grab each side of the, weight in your hand so you're like squeezing it like a loaf of bread have it basically right at chest level squat with it after the squat rack okay yeah it's the same exercise i worry she's going into the weight room now looking like a looking like she worries about fucking legs and butt it's a full body baby boy how about jake if we may okay please let's let's have her grab a 15 and do some luncheon
Starting point is 00:23:43 You know what a lunges? Yes, yeah. Okay. So. It's what the person at workbox went to when they wouldn't check me in. They went out to lunch. Sorry. Could you put 20 pounds in each hands and do lunges?
Starting point is 00:24:00 Yeah, I could do that. Okay. And then what's a fourth exercise? We got a squat rack. We got the Kisept, we got a lunch. What's the fourth? You did say something about a bench. That's kind of like something I've wanted to do.
Starting point is 00:24:18 Okay. So then get on the bench. You can do bench press. You just take the weight and push up. Or you can go big like you're creating wings. You take lightwigs. You go all the way wide and you bring it to the middle. What do you like?
Starting point is 00:24:35 I like that. Okay. So we're going to keep the same weights from the lunge. Actually, no, 20 pounds on each hand might be able. a little hard to start. We'll see where you're at. If you got to go lighter, go lighter. Let's see what Lady Schwarzenegger thinks.
Starting point is 00:24:51 And that's going to be called... I'm not answering to that nickname. Lady Schwarzenegger. Those are going to be called the Wings of Fire. Okay. Okay. So right now you've got a squat rack. You're going to start with 50 pounds, okay?
Starting point is 00:25:07 You're going to do 12 of those. Then you're going to go to the Kysept thing, where you're going to face away. you're going to have 20 pounds, you're going to do 10 of those. Okay. Okay. Then you're going to go do the lunch, which is 20 pounds in each hand. You're going to do 10 each leg.
Starting point is 00:25:29 Okay. Okay. Then you're going to go to Wings of Fire. You're either going to do 20 pounds on each arm. If that feels heavy, go to 10. Okay. Okay. You're going to do 10 of those.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Okay. Okay. When this is done, you're going to sit down and rest. You're going to look at your phone. You're going to give yourself a 90-second break. And I'm going to tell you what this break is going to do. It's going to make you look like you know what the fuck you're doing. And you're going to do four rounds of this.
Starting point is 00:26:03 When you take your break, put your fingers on your neck and listen to your heartbeat. And with your lips, go like this. Two, three, four, five, two, ten, four, five, ten, three, four, five. Then get back into it. You do the workbox four times. Kylie, how often do you go to the gym? How many days a week? I would say at least three.
Starting point is 00:26:28 Okay. We want the workbox. When's the next time you're going to the gym? I can go Monday. Okay. The workbox happens every Monday. Okay. Wednesday and Friday, you don't do the workbox.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Okay. Will you be wearing a headband? I can definitely wear a head jacket. I would like you to put on it, and I want written workbox. She's peacocking in the weight room now. She's doing it. And then somebody goes, what's that? You go like this.
Starting point is 00:27:03 I'm doing the workbox. That is a known fucking workout. Can I also, if I may, if we're pitching wardrobe. Yeah. What's the thing that always, like, if a bowler shows up with a glove, or someone shows up into the weight room with gloves on, I'm like, this is not this person's first rodeo. I would get some, I would get some finger cut off gloves.
Starting point is 00:27:26 You've done this before. And weather them a little bit. I agree. Okay. Well, here's the thing. Now, Kylie, really quickly, I want you to imagine yourself on a headband that says workbox, workbox gloves.
Starting point is 00:27:43 now you are the master of the workbox it's your workout now I want you to do a quick infomercial to our audience and you tell them why they need to do the workbox gareth give her a taste of Hollywood Hogan so she could be inspired on Patreon when I did Hoganberg and Gill I like left and I was like I need a halls Give this woman a taste.
Starting point is 00:28:14 I'm in a shared office. Don't care. Don't care. Three, two, Hollywood Hogan and go. All right, I want you all out there listening. I want you to know about the workbox, okay? The workbox is not just a workout. It is a lifestyle. I'm talking to you, Kylie.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Kylie knows this. We go from squats. We go to kisps. We go to bench. And then we do what Jake calls lunch. And we do that all in the cross from the cardio room, brother. We're doing it across the cardio room. We got wings of fire.
Starting point is 00:28:43 And we got wigs of fire, baby. And I'm telling you one thing. You got a headband on that says workbox. You got some work gloves that look like they've been weathered that they've seen the gym in the 80s, 90s, and today, we're talking about the best hits of all time. You're talking about a workout that Kylie's going to rock. I'll tell you what she's going to go in there.
Starting point is 00:28:59 People are going to start going to the cardio room after they see what Kylie's doing, brother. Now, Kylie, take over, do the same thing. A lot of my lot of my lotions are starting to get really sweat. Okay, okay. It's over. It's been the same glisten the whole time. I'm telling you from the inside, I'm feeling a new level. From the outside, it is the same.
Starting point is 00:29:22 No, it is glistening more. It's coming out more. There is secretion, what I would call. However, a lizard sweats. That's what's happening here. Brother, your forehead. I'm reflective. You are what you look like water.
Starting point is 00:29:36 Buddy, I am legal. The human body is 70% water. I'm 85, right. now, brother. You look like eyes in the middle of the lake. It's just eyes and teeth. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Kylie, you are the leader of the workbox. Tell this audience, why when they go to a gym, they should be doing the workbox, what the workbox is and what you do. In three, two, Kylie, go! Am I doing it in the same voice?
Starting point is 00:30:10 No, you're whatever you want. You're the boss. You just sell it. Okay. Three, two, actually do it in the Hollywood Hogan. Brother, when you go to the gym, do you go up the stairs and go to the left and only do cardio? Are you a lefty, lucy? You got to be a righty-tidy.
Starting point is 00:30:29 Go to the right side and go do your workout. We're going to do squats. We're going to do triceps. We're going to do medicine balls. We're going to do bench presses. And you're going to have wings of fire when you leave the workbox. Pretty good, actually. Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 00:30:47 Really good. I'll tell you, Jake's face was very invested. I would say not a lot of notes. No. Now, Kylie, real talk. Where are you at in the process we've walked you through? What do you think, are you feeling good about going in there where the workbox attitude? You'd be insane if you didn't.
Starting point is 00:31:07 This will work. If I'm being honest, I think it will give me, like, the, a little bit of confidence that I'm needing to be like, I know what I'm doing when I go over here because now I have this like workbox set up. You're doing the fucking workbox. I got to be honest. I'm so glad and so surprised that you're into this.
Starting point is 00:31:28 This is great. Really? Yes. This feels so clean to me. I think I'm happy. I'm happy. She's happy. Now, the other thing I would say,
Starting point is 00:31:39 now Jake, I don't know how you feel about this, about talking past a close, I don't like it. Kylie, have a good day. Let us know. Thank you, guys. Bye. Bye. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Quince.
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Starting point is 00:32:51 shipping on your order and 365 day returns. It is available in Canada and the UK too. Check it out. You want to look good in your Canadian. Go to Quince. That's Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash here to help. And we are brought to you by Squarespace. You know what? I don't even need ad copy when it comes to Squarespace because let me tell you, first of all, they're hanging in there with the promo code. They're still doing the Gill sent me, and we love them for it. But Squarespace is a place where you can go and design your own website. Could not be more user-friendly, look so
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Starting point is 00:33:57 So if you're in the game, you have a small business, you're trying to promote yourself. Or let's say you want to do like a wigs and swords party or something like that, like we did on the show, and you want to make it look real. Use Squarespace. So go to Squarespace.com slash gill sent me for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code GIL sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's it.
Starting point is 00:34:19 Get involved. Let me just go on Workbox again. No AC. Really? Nothing. I literally may as well have gone to the lobby of my hotel. This costs $109. That is crazy.
Starting point is 00:34:33 You need a refund. Oh, without question. There's 100% of refund happening. Supposedly you're supposed to have secure internet on there. Wait, go ask her again really fast if there's, yeah. Well, they're coming up there. Hey, Natalie, what's that? Intro this.
Starting point is 00:34:49 This is after the first call. Let's play all this. Of my email? Yeah. Okay. Because you'll email me and then I'll just. Okay, got you. Email you what?
Starting point is 00:34:59 Don't get a refund. Get a better room. No, I'm getting better Wi-Fi. Do you want me in a better room? Yeah. How about a room with AC? Yeah. Air condition.
Starting point is 00:35:08 sound. Yeah. Yeah. Is this workbox's fault or Gara's fault? I can't tell. Look at him with his little bag of snacks. He doesn't even eat
Starting point is 00:35:34 off the street. Should have moved it. That was a terrible moment. He was like, he was like, goofy bag of crackers and he brought to a little workbook. I hate this. This is humiliating.
Starting point is 00:35:55 This is what podcasting is, you guys. If the other room works perfectly, this is just a Gareth issue. It's not a workbox issue. Hello? Hello? Hi, how are you? Garrett, go switch rooms. I'll catch you up.
Starting point is 00:36:11 We're having a workbox issue. No problem, no problem. This is incredible. By the way, if. you just listen to this show in the car or you're a listener, I highly recommend you watch this one on YouTube or Hulu or Patreon wherever you watch because it's just been really unique with Garrett. All right. So can we get your name, please?
Starting point is 00:36:40 Yeah. Let's call me Susie. Susie? And where are you calling from, Susie? I'm calling from like the Hudson Valley. of New York. Hudson Valley of New York. And what do you do in the Hudson Valley? I'm a speech pathologist. That's cool. I got a question for you. Yeah. Could you work with Steve Berg and fix his lisp or is it too late? Oh, you know, I mean, I could try, but it might be too late,
Starting point is 00:37:12 to be honest. And so is there a time with kids that if they have a list, you can fix it and if you miss it, it's too late? It's kind of like a lot of the sounds by seven you want to get them straightened out. But, you know, with somebody who's really motivated, you could probably do it. If you could work with Steve and fix his list, this would be the craziest. Is this something you would ever be willing to do on our Patreon? I would love to. Okay, Susie, after this, let's get your information.
Starting point is 00:37:48 And let's start doing once a month or so with you and Steve. And let's just see if in a year he can do a monologue without a lisp. Okay. Does he want to get rid of it now? Does he like it? I mean, I think it's worth exploring experience if he can. Look, I don't know your name, but obviously we're going to get rid of his list whether he likes it or not. I mean, this is just...
Starting point is 00:38:14 He can always use it. It'd be nice. By the way, Gareth, way, way, Gareth, way, way. I gotta tell you, Jake, as far as personal human space, way bigger nightmare. This one? It's so tiny. You know, you know at the airport sometimes you'll be like a little room where like someone can, I don't even know what? Take the camera, show us around.
Starting point is 00:38:36 There's not much to show you're not going to feel like a Cribs episode. This is it. What's the sound is better? How's the AC in there? Oh, AC. None. This is... Really?
Starting point is 00:38:49 Oh, you're going to see some levels of... I'm going to look like I did the workbox routine soon. But you switched your Wi-Fi, so it's better Wi-Fi? No, not yet. There's going to do that. I'll do that after this call. It's just been... Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:04 So, Susie, we're going to hook you up with Steve, but let's get to the call. Gareth, she's from the Hudson Valley. She's a speech pathologist. Susie, what's up, Big Doc? All right. Well, first of all, I just want to say I'm a huge fan of both of you. Gareth, I saw you in Albany at the Funnybone, and you were so, so good. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:39:24 I'll be back there in September. I'll be less good, but I'd love for you to be there. No, you're going to be great. Okay, awesome. I'll be there. All right, so I'm going to start with some background information, and then I'll get to my problem. So I'm engaged. My fiancee is from the shore, and he and his friends are all, like, uniquely good at water activities.
Starting point is 00:39:47 and we camp a lot and we go cliff jumping and they're diving. They're doing lots of things like this. I can't personally cliff jump or dive and I get made fun of for it. My fiance has said things like, I'm not going to marry you unless you learn how to dive. He's joking because we're, you know, we're going to get married in two months.
Starting point is 00:40:08 But we have our joint Bachelor Bachelorette coming up in a couple weeks. And it's at a leak. and I know that there's going to be tons of cliff jumping and they're going to want me to dive and clutch jump. And I can't do it. And they've been calling me the belly flop brides because I've been trying and not been doing well at trying to dive. But I just like, I need people to know I'm still a cool girl
Starting point is 00:40:35 and I need to know how do I get out of cliff jumping and diving and maintain that I am still a cool girl. Well, Susie, first of all, you are a cool girl with or without cliff jumping, okay? Oh, thank you. Not as cool. But this is, there's a lot of circles where this would not be a big deal. You've chosen to hit your wagon to the Jersey culture. I think the thing is, well, we just need to obviously have a good excuse.
Starting point is 00:41:03 We could either go, are you thinking of anything, Big Doug? Well, what's the specific question, Susie? The specific question is, how do I get out? out of cliff jumping and diving and maintain that I'm a cool girl. So I'm looking to not do it and looking for people to not be like, oh, she's so lame, she's too uptight to cliff jump, like, what a buzz kill.
Starting point is 00:41:25 So here's what I do. So question for you. Why can't you cliff jump? I think, well, okay, so here's something. There's cliff diving, which you jump off and you land headfirst in the water, and I'll tell you what. This big Puma can't do that.
Starting point is 00:41:41 But I'll tell you what I can do. jump off a rock. Okay. I can jump in the water. What is the holdup? All right. All right. So, okay.
Starting point is 00:41:51 When I went to do it last time, it took me like five minutes to work myself up to it because I'm just like anxious about it. And then I went to do it finally. Everybody's watching from the water. They're like, come on, just do it. And then I like failed last minute
Starting point is 00:42:05 and almost fell down like the cliff space. See, that's the thing. Can't be that first. We don't want that. Yeah. I got to avoid that. So, you. you're just really afraid to do it and you don't want to do it.
Starting point is 00:42:17 And that's fair. Yeah. Every part of me says don't do this. Okay. So, but you would like to maintain this idea that you're cool. And I'm not saying this. Yeah, I am a cool girl. You've said that 30 times, Susie.
Starting point is 00:42:31 And I just want to tell you at some point it's going to start to become a red flag. Okay. I would say we're past that point, brother. Because let me tell you something. I know for sure. I am a cool girl. Did you ever see Good Morning Vietnam?
Starting point is 00:42:48 Have I seen it? It's a great movie, but Bruno Kirby takes over as the morning DJ and he's not great. It's such a great. And then at one point he gets mad and he goes like this.
Starting point is 00:43:01 This is working. The other guy said and he goes, I know that I'm funny. It's like, well, nobody's laughing. Okay, so just to and I think you've done a really nice job, Susie. I've getting a pretty clear picture.
Starting point is 00:43:16 You're a cool girl. You're a really cool girl. Yeah, there's no doubt. This all makes sense to me. It's a bunch of people on the shore who like cliff diving and jump in and you don't want it. And you're getting teased by your fiancé. What are we calling him? We're calling Bill.
Starting point is 00:43:32 Bill's like, oh, I'm not going to marry you. You're like, shut up, Bill. I'm a cool girl. Of course you're going to marry me. And then what's going to happen the whole weekend, everyone's going to be like, oh let's have a couple more seltors and then go cliff diving and you're going to be like, I don't care if you guys
Starting point is 00:43:47 do, I don't want to. So how do we get you out of that? And I'll tell you what my first thought is. 1980s sitcom monologue about pure pressure. I was going to say some dramatic monologue. Just because I'm not like you guys doesn't mean
Starting point is 00:44:06 and I'm not going to be pure pressured because I'll tell you, somebody who tells you you're a cool person a few times, they're also in those shows, what they used to always do is go like, I'll tell you what's cool, not being pure pressure. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:20 If all your friends jump off a cliff, do you have to? If I'm a follower, I'm so cool that I don't have to. And then get those cool 80s glasses that have like the little lines in between them. Like they look like shades. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:32 And go like, I'm too cool for school. You could also. Okay, so I just looked up some head, You could also, if you want to do at one point, do a thing where you're like, tourists cliff jump death caught on video in Hawaii. Teens cliff jumping going horrifically wrong. I'm not going to be another statistic.
Starting point is 00:44:56 You know what you can also do? Here's another idea. These are just ideas, Susie, to get started. How about leading out and have a shirt that says nerds cliff jump? and all you do is every time and then when they jump get a fart machine like an air hard so they go like here I go and the person goes go like and then go nerd fart machine is really good fart machine so they're acting like cliff jumping is cool and what you need to do from the beginning it goes you know it's the nerdiest thing in the world I'm going to climb up a cliff and jump off into
Starting point is 00:45:39 like I'm a nine-year-old boy. It's the same thing as like a zip line. You know what else you can do? Did you play laser tag for two hours, you'd to work? You could have like in gymnastics, when the judges would have the numbers they'd hold up. You could just have low numbers like two, three, and four. And so you're just holding up like weak numbers
Starting point is 00:45:57 for every performance after it. Oh, yeah, I'm the judge. Yes. Now, do are the, we now know the dudes are going to cliff jump. Are your girlfriend's going to be cliff jump? Yeah, I mean, there's a There's a spot where it's not that high This one spot and I really should be able to do this
Starting point is 00:46:16 But that's the one that I almost like fell down the side So I'm just, I don't want to go for it But yeah, they'll be they'll be click something as well Okay, so both genders will click because I was going to say You could make it a gender battle But it sounded like it's all versus you Yeah, yeah, it is I mean you want to go classic fake an injury
Starting point is 00:46:35 No, because that's not cool though like to be injured, you know? Yeah, you're not wrong. Oh, how about this? You want to be a real cool girl? Smoke cigarettes. Oh, yeah. If they ask you, you know what?
Starting point is 00:46:52 Here's what you could do. You could always have an unlit cigarette and then they go on a cliff jump and go, I don't want to get my smoke wet. Oh, that would be pretty cool. You could be on a floaty down in the water like away from where they are just watching with a cigarette and a drink.
Starting point is 00:47:10 And you never have to even light it. You could also have... Oh, you know what you could do? You could get like a cool fedora where you're like so cool and you're wearing it. Fedoras aren't cool. No, I agree.
Starting point is 00:47:26 Susie's got just the parameters of cool girl. By the way, I respect you. I know it's cool. Susie, what's cool? What's cool? Yeah. Paint the picture. I'll tell you what's cool.
Starting point is 00:47:39 A picture. Well, I'm thinking, like, the actionable clue is, like, shotguning a beer, you know? That's cool. Okay. Paint us a picture, Susie, of a cool girl at a joint bachelor, bachelor, bachelor party. What does she look like? Tell us a quick story. You're going to talk for a little bit.
Starting point is 00:47:59 Tell us the story of the coolest girl at a joint bachelor, bachelorette party where she's getting married and people are cliff jumping. her name is River. What's River doing? River. Is River a cool name? River is so cool. So what's River doing at this?
Starting point is 00:48:16 Bachelor. All right. Tell us a story. River is, River's wearing like, like, loose-fitting, bohemian clothing. She's very comfortable. He is shotguning
Starting point is 00:48:28 probably like a high noon because she doesn't drink beer. And he's staying up late. She's having like A to heal a shot at some point, maybe too. And she is, what else? She's playing the coolest music. She's got the best, like, song recommendations.
Starting point is 00:48:46 Cool. And what does she do when everybody goes up and cliff jumps? Oh, my God. See, everyone's like, hey, let's all cliff jump. River, you want a cliff jump? What does Cliffers, what does River say in this short story? I don't know. She's like, she's like, like, that's the.
Starting point is 00:49:05 That's the problem. She goes like, I'm scared. No, no, no, no, she doesn't do that. Because last time I almost fell down the cliff. Yeah. Yeah. Seems fun till someone gets hurt. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:49:19 Bringing up cautionary tales is not. Rivers' best friend tributary passed from a cliff jump. Yeah. When you shot out of high hand. That doesn't sound cool to me either. But in this... I got rid of a guy's lisp. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:49:35 You know, you could do? Whenever they say, do you want to jump call? I got to take this call with my client. I'm trying to get a man who's nearly 50, Steve Berg, and then talk about his calendar. He's a model and an actor. He's on two different CBS shows right now. He is just, you're working.
Starting point is 00:49:56 You just got hired to work with him to try to get rid of his list by his 50th birthday. Oh, for a part. It's a big gig. That's cool for a big gig. For a part. You could be. You could be on call because you have to get the actor ready for his big gig. And so when the cliff jumping is happening, you have to be on call.
Starting point is 00:50:14 And then you fake a couple calls with them where you're talking him through some S stuff. And they say the problem is, and you go like, look, you would love to. It's not that you're afraid. But the timing is really bad. He's a model. He was a calendar model. He made a calendar. It sold something like $30,000.
Starting point is 00:50:29 I can't remember the final numbers. But he's like a sexy model from the Midwest. And he's an actor. He's a singer. as well as a chef. Jake, he's an, well, I don't know about the last one, but he is as an actor, he would be able to probably, if we needed to solidify the lie a little bit,
Starting point is 00:50:45 he could probably call River once or twice. That's exactly right. Just to corroborate. He's available. Oh my God, that would be great. What do you think of this game plan that you're, you got a high-end client from the We're Here to Help podcast. You could talk about it.
Starting point is 00:51:02 And then guess what? We don't air this until after. Mm-hmm. So who cares? Afterwards, they go, wow, what a cool girl. You tricked us. Because guess what River would do? Why?
Starting point is 00:51:13 She'd trick you. You're jumping into water like a monkey. So what do you think of this as an idea, Susie? I think it's really funny to take fake phone calls. I've done that before, and I think it's so funny. So I am down for that. And I would also, I'm not actually a liar. I think River might be.
Starting point is 00:51:36 I'm not a liar. So it could be awesome to get on the phone with Keith. For sure. So he's willing. He would be willing. So let's do this. Tell us a story again about River at the Bachelor Bachelorette party with the cliff jumping. And why she can't cliff jump.
Starting point is 00:51:57 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're getting up there. We parked the boat. We all get up there. Everybody's like, this is so sick. like Susie, are you going to clip jump? I go, yeah, for sure. Like, what do you think I am?
Starting point is 00:52:09 And then maybe I bring up a high noon and I rip a shotgun right before. And then they're like, you know, one after another, they're going. And they're like, all right, Suez, your turn. And I go, oh, my God, you guys, I'm getting a phone call right now from a really high-end client. Suzie, this is cool. This is awesome. And they go, he goes, who? What is going?
Starting point is 00:52:36 What do you mean? You're getting a call right now. Yeah, who is he? I can't, I can't really, like, say the name, but I'll tell you that they model. He's confidentially so big. Oh, my God. Keep going. Wait, so the fact you can't say his name, but he, he's a model.
Starting point is 00:52:51 He's a calendar model. Right. He's a professional actor. You know him from CBS. He's worked with Jack Black. Yeah. Okay. CBS, Jack Black.
Starting point is 00:53:01 I'm running this down. He's a musician because he did a song for the Whatever that thing was Steve song, yeah, Steve's song. With Josh Sweden. With Josh, he did a thing called Steve's song that did crazy numbers.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Okay. So he's like a legit singer-song. Who it is. Yes. What kind of numbers are we talking about? Don't get, don't dig into those. No, but I know it did well. I know it got like a million downloads or something like that.
Starting point is 00:53:31 Wow. Wow. All right? He's a singer. He's a model. He's an actor. So, Susie, tell us the story of River. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:43 So River's a very cool girl. She's very comfortable in her own skin. She's not afraid of anything. She's having the best time of her life. She's about to cliff jump. And she gets this really important phone call that she cannot miss. and she can't really talk about it. And she's going to take the phone call for,
Starting point is 00:54:08 how long do you think? Well, I would take it. By the way, it's got it, you got to, it's better reception off the cliff. So whenever you're up there, you're on call down. You're also on call. You do the first call,
Starting point is 00:54:20 and then you go, he's going to call back. I got to keep working with him a little bit. I don't know if I'm maybe I have time. I think it's cool, Susie, if you're a little frustrated, like fuck. Yeah. And then when you get the call, and you can even do,
Starting point is 00:54:32 he sent a text. Like, now I got to go call him. And the reception is better off the cliff. That's pretty good, too. Right. So once you get in the distance, you can be watching, just holding up your finger. And then you could go later.
Starting point is 00:54:46 You could go. They go, you want to go, you go. I do, but I don't want to go up there because if I get this call, I don't want to have to come down again. Yeah. Right. He's ruining my cliff diving day.
Starting point is 00:54:55 You could also have a shirt that says, can't wait to cliff dive. Oh, I think that, I don't think River does that. No, you agree, because that's not cool. Right? I don't think you does. Yeah, that's too much.
Starting point is 00:55:07 I think so, too much. I can't get a read on River. I'll be honest. She's always running up. Really? No, she's cool, Susie. The only thing I know about River is that she's going to shock at a high noon. She's going to do that for sure.
Starting point is 00:55:19 Yeah. But what do you think? Because I feel like this is going to work, but what do you feel? I think I feel really good about this. And I think it makes sense because, like, maybe this high-profile client has like a thing he's he's at and he like needs my help on call. Like I don't think a lot of speech pathologists are on call, but like this one is because he's a high profile.
Starting point is 00:55:43 Yes. And he's needy. He's like he needs help. He's doing a lot of big things. And you know what we could do is we could maybe get you a clip of him talking so that you could show it to him and be like, this is his lisp. Right. We definitely can do that.
Starting point is 00:56:00 I don't know if I'd be on call for the list, but maybe I could be on call for, like, residents during, like, a musical performance. You know what I mean? Oh, cool. Like, he's got a big thing. Yeah. And he's doing, like, he's doing a big performance. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:23 He could be in the recording studio. Susie, he could be in the recording studio. That's good, too. He's a recording studio. He's freaking out. He's freaking out. And so he just needs reminders to get it right. Yep.
Starting point is 00:56:35 Right. He just needs to use his techniques that we've been practicing, but he just needs a little reminder. I think that's perfect. I do too. Wow. Wow. And his album is called Workbox.
Starting point is 00:56:49 Or is it called River? It's called River. Wow. I've never seen Jake bulldozed by a caller like this. He's really feeling river. Because she's right. Yeah. She knows River.
Starting point is 00:57:00 Look, if somebody's... For me, and this is, I will live and die by this. It's best idea wins. Yeah. I think, I, listen, as long as you're shotgunning a high noon. Yeah, it should be called River. Agreed. Agreed. And that's why I love the show.
Starting point is 00:57:19 So Zia, you're the best. Will you follow up with us? Wait, you know what we got to do? We got to get you in touch with Steve. Yeah, I was going to say, yeah. Actually, Natalie, can we send Steve a quick Zoom link? Yeah, I can send it to him right now. Yeah. Let's see if we could just get him on.
Starting point is 00:57:33 I think he is shooting. Oh, he is? I got to think he was done in Montreal. Yeah, I know. He's literally in Montreal working. I got a text from him this morning. Yeah, that's what I mean. But I think he's done.
Starting point is 00:57:46 Is he? Yeah. All right, I just texted him. And even if he doesn't have the mic, if he could just call. But we'll see if we can get this squared away, Susie. If not, we'll put you in touch with them, and you guys will do that really fast. We'll have him available day of. Okay, is there any kind of toll you want me to pay
Starting point is 00:58:05 Or should I just, you know You follow up It's a good question Yeah, a follow up No, just a follow up Yeah I don't because You'll be using your phone
Starting point is 00:58:15 Yeah, you're going to be used And you got to really sell it Because River is cool Yeah, he's really cool Yeah She's cool So you can you don't want to be like You don't want the jokiness
Starting point is 00:58:28 Of the day doesn't have to feel jokey The day's got to feel real No Do we want to have her talking about how she's ready to cliff jump a little bit leading up to it? Like day of, do we want to have her be like, no, don't sell. But if they're like, are you going to cliff jump, she'll go like this. Yeah, I don't care. She's like, I'm not going to dive in, but yeah, I'll do the low level one.
Starting point is 00:58:47 Yeah. And then you could also be honest, you go, like, I'm not doing the top one. There's just, it's not a deal. And you're like, I'm not going to do it a bunch, but yeah, of course I'll do it. Yeah, all right. It's not even a deal. It's not even a deal. I love it.
Starting point is 00:58:59 I think he's too Hollywood. I don't think he's answering. So we will get you in touch with him, though, and make him available to you day of. Awesome. For live calls. Thank you, Susie. That is great.
Starting point is 00:59:14 Thanks, Susie. Thank you so much, you guys. Love you guys. We love you. We love you. Okay, bye guys. Stan. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Let me find my headphones really quick. What were you doing before? Aren't you on CBS? I am right now. I'm a bitch. I've never said that at an airport loudly. This is the workbox episode. This is all the energy's there.
Starting point is 00:59:44 Guys, this is your follow-up. We have Steve Berg on an iPhone. He's at the airport. Gareth is still in a workbox. He's embarrassed by people walking and seeing him. Gareth, we explain again what's the problem? I showed up to a building. that I guess had nobody working at it.
Starting point is 01:00:00 They rented me a room. They didn't have it. I used my phone's Wi-Fi, and everyone was like, I don't understand why you're being upset and sweating your lotion's off. Are you in John Bon Jovi's recording studio? Yeah, yeah, I'm cutting together. Yeah, we're doing greatest things.
Starting point is 01:00:16 We're doing Young Guns three. We're making old guns. What do you think of the glisten on his face today, Steve? Let me, let's go back to him. I can't see him right now. It's on you. Let's go back to him. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:28 Oh, yeah. It's a nice sheen. Let's go back to him. Also, he was in Young Guns. So, Steve. Hey, guys. We have an opportunity for you that we want to discuss. And we know you're hot in Hollywood right now, so this is, this is an escalation.
Starting point is 01:00:43 Yeah, I mean, I'll listen to the offer. Let's just see. So a woman named Susie, who's a speech pathologist just called in. She's from the Hudson Valley. Okay. You shook your head, no. I mean, is she trying to get rid of my moneymaker? Hey, let, can you,
Starting point is 01:01:00 Let Jake talk, dude. Let the guy talk. Okay, let me give up my biggest money-making asset. Let Jake talk to you for a second. So we drop that. Here's part two. She is getting married in two weeks. It's a joint bachelor-bachelorette celebration.
Starting point is 01:01:26 They all go cliff jumping, all the guys and all the women. Jesus. She's afraid to go cliff jumping. Yeah, that would be too. Same. They all tease her about it. She's cool. She doesn't want to get teased.
Starting point is 01:01:42 So we came up with an idea as a speech pathologist. She is working with a calendar model, a Hollywood actor, a chef, and a singer, Steve's song. But she cannot mention his name. But it's a big client. because he's recording an album called River, and he needs her to be on call during this weekend in case he's having an issue in the recording booth. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:14 So all we would need is maybe one call. You do not have to call her a lot, but if we can get some information that if you could call her, so she has to answer if she just texts, and maybe one's fake chat while she's on the phone with, somebody so that she can be on the phone with you talking to the client. Then we skip the her actually trying to help you, and we just need you as potential, and we might not even need you day of, but we are just using you as her client for this fix.
Starting point is 01:02:48 We want a live call with you where you're in the recording studio freaking out because of the Lisp. And you're recording your album called River. Oh, wait. So I'm getting this. She's trying to get out of this cliff jumping thing. And it's an emergency client situation. Yes.
Starting point is 01:03:08 And I'm playing. You're playing the emergency. Oh, yeah, that sounds fun. The multi-hyphen it with a Lisp. Yeah. Yeah. We had also talked to her about seeing if she can get rid of your Lisp on Patreon. You son of a bitch.
Starting point is 01:03:23 Hold on. But that was scratching. But we're scratching that. Well, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Jonathan. Garrett, both of you.
Starting point is 01:03:30 let's say you're my management team and I was thinking about getting rid of my list what would you say? I would say it'd be nice if you can get rid of it because you can always use it again. Yeah, that's exactly what I would say. Hey, now we got two options. Now you can do a take without it if you want to.
Starting point is 01:03:49 Yeah, it's you're not making fun of anyone. You can do it. You can do the voice. I'm going to pass on that. Fine. But I will absolutely be the patsy to getting her up cliff jumping. Okay, so we will hook you up.
Starting point is 01:04:03 Okay, great. So we will hook you up with her. I just can't. I just would love to hear him without the list, but go ahead. Garrett. Close us. I'm yelling at the airport. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Starting point is 01:04:13 Make your peace, Steve. What would you like to say to Gareth? No, I mean, I had nothing. I mean, look, thanks for the offer for getting rid of my golden goose. Goose. But, um. She also said it's probably not possible because if you don't do it by the time you're seven, it's probably too late.
Starting point is 01:04:32 Yeah, I mean, they tried in great school though it wouldn't take. It would be nice to try again. I think for Patreon, it would be awesome to try again. For one session to try again. How about one session? Give us a 20-minute Patreon. How about one session?
Starting point is 01:04:48 You know what? I will do one session if it can be recorded, the whole thing. Of course. The whole thing is we're not doing it off camera, you goofball. You got to love Bergpitches. This is where he's a producer, if it could be recorded.
Starting point is 01:05:01 No, we're going to do it off camera. I'll tell you what, Jake. I think we record the whole thing. If I can get good tape out of it, like, I mean, sure. Why not? Jake, I think the idea of Patreon is great as long as these things are being recorded. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:13 That's my pitch. Record them. Look, I like the line line. Okay, so we're golden. Yeah, no, we're going to hook you up with her. And then maybe you'll do one session with her on Patreon and see if you like it. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:28 No, you can go ahead and close. Okay, great. Then we are closing. And this is a follow-up, so this will also air, Stevie. Ooh. A little stage time. Anything you want to say to the audience who adores you. God, I love you guys so much.
Starting point is 01:05:45 Will you also give us a taste of Steve's song? We talk about it in this. Come on. I'm in a crowded international airport. There's nobody around you. I'm trying to get to pot bellies before. my flight boards. Great sandwich shop based on Chicago.
Starting point is 01:06:03 It's a nightmare. Pop Bellies is a great sandwich place. Wait, wait, hold on. Hold on. You're talking about food, yeah. Yeah, I'm getting excited. Jake, you probably know pot bellies. It's a Chicago.
Starting point is 01:06:14 Yeah, we know, Steve, the thing, you can't talk food. Are you getting paid by Pop Bellies? Oh, yeah, we brought it back. We brought it back. What are you talking about? The embargo was lifted. Okay, so really quickly. Give nobody around you.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Well, there is a door. You're an empty airport. Give us Steve's song and we'll get out of this episode. I'm going to do, yeah. Give us some bravado. I'm still a little bit suspicious while they asked me to be in this. And yes, my best guess is my S's.
Starting point is 01:06:43 There you go. Keep going. It's so good, please, Steve. A little more. Just come on. Like for a call, I get, uh, Jed texted me since commentary's coming.
Starting point is 01:06:55 Steve, would you please grace us with a song? I heard the dulcet tones their hands were strumming. I knew it's not this list. It's been my talents all along. Steve's song, a showcase of my skills. Steve's song. Alive are the hills with Steve Song. Steve song.
Starting point is 01:07:18 Steve song. Steve song. Steve song. Steve song. Steve song. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. We got to see if Jesse's got his face up. So good.
Starting point is 01:07:35 You know what I actually would love rather than a calendar, an album? We got a cookbook comment. You're talking 2027. Let's see. I'll tell you what you read my mind. You can ask Amy about it. I've already pitched up because I think the last meeting, we talked about an EP.
Starting point is 01:07:54 That's one of my dreams. And I would like to record a four-song EP. with Amy. I think you should. We may do this anyway. Okay, good. But it was after the cookbook. But I hope you guys are having a great Friday.
Starting point is 01:08:06 TGISIS. I'm going to go to pot bellies. I'm going to go to your sandwich. Hopefully I get a quick turkey sandwich. Love me. Goodbye, buddy. You know what? The Patreon is turning into Berg's fantasy piggy bank.
Starting point is 01:08:22 You know, I actually wanted to cut an album. What? By the way, we need to say thank you to what's the place again, workspace or workbox? Workbox for an amazing episode. But they make you work to work. All right, let's get out of this episode. Sweet Jesse here.
Starting point is 01:08:47 This next call is a follow-up from episode 296, fully soaked with Brandon Flynn. Hello. Hello. How are you? Hey. Good. How are you? Good.
Starting point is 01:09:05 You hear this is a follow-up. That's all we know. So take over, lady. I'm the twin with the wet bath mat situation. I do remember this. Okay. So remind everybody what the problem was. Then tell us what we pitched.
Starting point is 01:09:22 Yeah, that I don't know. us what happened. I remember cat hair. That is accurate. You keep going though. You take over. My twin sister, who I live with at home right now, really soaks the bath mat after she gets out of the shower
Starting point is 01:09:40 because she doesn't towel dry before getting out. So you guys pitched that I put cat hair on the bath mat and create a cat mat so that when she goes out and she steps on the bath mat. The bath mat. He could get covered with cat hair. Yeah, I thought so too. And? So, unfortunately, she, um,
Starting point is 01:10:02 but the cat hair was working for a while, but then she started throwing my towel on the floor on top of the cat mat, which honestly might have had to go anyways because, I mean, I have a tattoo of my cat, and now I'm collecting his fur, so it felt, it was getting weird. And then I think she really started acting out because she unclogged, the shower drain and then like left the hair and the dunk all over the sink, which felt kind of like bio-weaponry, you know?
Starting point is 01:10:30 And then the bath mat got moldy. So I had to throw it out. And that's when I bought a new thicker bath mat, which is currently wet. So this is a... Nowhere near the bell. So, so... No. So the hair.
Starting point is 01:10:52 When you said the hair was working for a while, what does that mean? Well, she started drying off in the shower before she would get out because I guess she didn't want cat hair on her feet. She would ask me like, hey, like, has Bowie been sleeping on my cat's name? Has he been sleeping on the bath mat? I said, yeah, like, I guess I noticed that a lot. But she started just covering up the cat hair with my towel. So she would like take my towel off the handle, like the bar and then throw it on the floor. and step on that instead.
Starting point is 01:11:24 So we're back, pretty much back where we were. You just got a thicker bath mat that she's sopping. Yeah, I got a bigger one, so it's only like a little bit. I got a... Well, I'm not a little wet, but... I got a follow-up pitch if we want it, Jake. Sure. I'm going to say that...
Starting point is 01:11:40 You know how, like, when you have a roommate and your food is your food? So you're not like... It's not communal food or something. What if we make this bath mat yours, and when you're done with the bath mat, you take it out and see what she does then. I just like remove it, put it in my room or something? Yeah, like it's your bath mat. This is intriguing.
Starting point is 01:12:04 Yeah, that's interesting. Personal bath mats. Yeah. We don't have another bath mat. So I worry that the floor will just be wet all the time. You know what I really think, Gareth? Just one didn't work. We apologize.
Starting point is 01:12:20 guys. It's tough. They don't all work. It doesn't all work. This was like we tried. We're sorry. It's a miss. All right.
Starting point is 01:12:29 One more. Get her shower sandals. What would that do? Make it so we could get off the call in a higher note. I don't want to pay for shower sandals. Have a good life. We're getting out of this one. This was, we apologize.
Starting point is 01:12:57 They own all work. We tried our hardest. Yeah. Thank you for trying. Honestly. Thank you for trying. Thank you for paying the toll. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:04 Thanks for, thanks for playing. This is free advice that feels free. By the way, here in a back. Sounds like we paid to give it, to be honest on that one. No, but good try.
Starting point is 01:13:18 It totally worth the ride. All right. We apologize. Thank you. Yeah, I'm a big new girlfriend, so this was exciting for me. Yeah, thank you. We just had Liz Maryweather on. Ah, I missed it.
Starting point is 01:13:31 Yeah, the showrunner. She was on. She was great. You're going to love the episode. We spent a lot of time in the intro talking New Girl memories, too. So be ready to listen to that episode. It's a fun one. I'm very excited.
Starting point is 01:13:47 I've heard every episode. That's cool. You heard or you watched? Both. I listen to the new... You listen to New Girl or the podcast? I'm getting turned around. The podcast.
Starting point is 01:13:58 Hey, that makes a lot more sense. All right, thanks for the call. Thanks for the call. We're ending on a high to ring the bell, kind of. Yeah, fuck it. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:14:09 We won somehow. Just want to mention that all new episodes are released a day. Just want to mention that all new episodes are released a day. day early on Hulu. Yep. We are also having our back catalog is going to be on Hulu. We're going to be about 20 at a time. So if you have not checked us out on Hulu, then check us out on Hulu.
Starting point is 01:14:34 Gareth, Jesse, are we saying any lies? No, and you can get season one, season two. We're going to have a nice melange on Hulu, but the day early. I mean, there's a lot of advantages. Here's another thing. Here's another thing. People going, well, I don't have Hulu. You got YouTube?
Starting point is 01:14:51 Because we're there, too. Yeah. Hulu a day early. YouTube for stragglers. And also. You go, I don't have that. Well, we got Patreon. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:03 And they go, I don't have that. What do you want? Yeah, okay, Jake. We're trying to be inclusive and you're yelling at them. But I think you're right. It's just, look. Watch this show anywhere. There's a lot of options.
Starting point is 01:15:15 Okay. Who's early? Hulu's early. Audio day of YouTube. Day of. Patreon, no ads. Here's the way to remember it. Hulu, new, so Nulu.
Starting point is 01:15:31 It's not the way to remember. They also have back catalog stuff. Okay, then that we call... Yeah, all right, it's falling apart. We're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful pod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here Here To Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog.
Starting point is 01:16:01 We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions. Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike. Animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, you stand up on the road, go to Gareth Reynolds. Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a hate gum podcast. That was a hate gum podcast.

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