We're Here to Help - 334: Gary vs. Gareth & Hey Dad, You Stink! (with Andy Richter)

Episode Date: October 19, 2026

Gareth and Jake save a middle school stapler. Then, Andy Richter stops by to freshen up a musty dad. Plus, a follow-up from Ep 323 "Kenny Z (with Rhett and Link)".Step into the magical world ...of ELF like never before with this captivating oral history, written by beloved comedian and actor Andy Richter, who watched the shenanigans unfold before his eyes on the set of this timeless holiday classic. Pre-order ELF UNWRAPPED: Behind the Scenes of a Christmas Classic out on November 3rd.Want to call in? Email your question to helpfulpod@gmail.com.PATREON: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:01 This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. And we are back. Gareth, we were just talking about how handsome your mustache looks. I want to ask the community to vote in a comment section. I don't care if it's YouTube. I don't care if it's Spotify. I don't think Hulu has a voting section.
Starting point is 00:00:54 You drinking wine or black coffee? What's healthier at 9 p.m.? Wine. That's cool. Yeah. You're a fucking cool guy, brother. I'm alone drinking wine. I'm about to have a mustache vote.
Starting point is 00:01:09 Things aren't that cool, my man. Things are not that cool. Or they're the coolest. They've been less cool. But I'd like people to vote. I am in the yay category. You're biased, though. Let's admit that because you were,
Starting point is 00:01:26 I mean, we saw the video of your father doing his, you're from a long line of stashers. I also rocked a mustache in Hollywood and it got a lot of work. That's what I mean. It's like you were. I just feel like it's going to give you a nice little momentum kick and who knows. We'll see. Well, they made, I was forced into it.
Starting point is 00:01:47 and it has been nice. It's been nice to have a mustache again. I'm not going to lie. Changes everything. Let's talk about changing everything. Describe what's happening with you right now, too. Well, this is the new office. You're in a tank top.
Starting point is 00:02:11 You're surrounded by boxes. You look like a, Tennessee Williams protagonist I look like the small town version of it maybe
Starting point is 00:02:25 yeah yeah but you I mean you forget how big of a pain in the ass moving is this move has nearly killed me brother
Starting point is 00:02:35 now why I will speak for the people I would think you'd have a more charmed move than the level of you look like you're you're in the thick of it This is you participating heavily in it.
Starting point is 00:02:50 You know what it's not, Gareth. It's not the old school. I'm moving a bunch of boxes in the back of a pickup truck. Yes. That's not what has made this move a killer. Okay. What's made this move a killer is getting the one house ready to sell while fixing this house up, while the kids are going to school and we move, and moving my mother out.
Starting point is 00:03:14 and so this house is getting close, close enough to move in. This office, this podcast set up, way better. You think? Yes. Ooh, tell me why. I did the same type of wallpaper. Yeah, but it's a good background. It looks a little bigger.
Starting point is 00:03:32 It is. I feel like you're going to have more space to, not that we do a lot of moving, but you're going to be able to decorate your background more. I will say my mother will be here in just over a month. And Jake, she's got something for you that is not a big deal, but the amount of thought she put into it. That was very sweet. It's shocking.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Tell me about Pammy. How's my girl? She's good. She's been very social. And I can't wait to have her out of here. Have missed her. This might be like your mother. My mother blows me off like I'm her parent.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Like I'll be talking to her and she'll be getting off the phone with me. She'll be making up excuses to get off the phone with me, and I can tell, and I'll push back a little, and she'll start, like, she'll get sick of me very quickly on the phone. Oh, yeah. Quite quickly. My mom said to me, so she has, she's had some health issues since she's been here. She's unable to get a driver's license.
Starting point is 00:04:30 She's having some high stuff, a bunch of stuff. Okay. So she's been a little stranded. So I brought some Chinese food over yesterday. We were hanging out, and she said, as soon as I get wheels, you're not going to see me for six fucking months. Wow. That's just a crazy thing to say.
Starting point is 00:04:46 That's what I said. That's a crazy thing to say to you. It's a crazy thing to say when you're like bringing her food. You've brought her out of her and she talks to you. Like you're a warden. Like that's what it is. Like I'm a whole hard. It's just like, but saying, thinking that is ludicrous, saying it is.
Starting point is 00:05:03 Well, one thing I love about my mom is she doesn't have a filter. No. No, it fades. It fades. And I respect the hell out of that. The less the filter, the bother, just let it rip sometimes. They do. Whereas my father, I literally could say to my dad, how you been?
Starting point is 00:05:22 And I could set the phone down. I'm not joking. I could set the phone down for 20 minutes. I wouldn't need to say another word. He'd keep talking. No way. He'll self-start real quick. So he'll go, and then they were talking about that, but the freeway junction was all mucked up.
Starting point is 00:05:36 He just goes. Yeah. old man's one topic to the next. No, it's like he's doing a set. It's like he's bombing a set. He's just going through his set list and just hitting them and... Oh, here's something. You know my weird animal
Starting point is 00:05:50 sculptures? Yeah. So in truth, in reality, I don't have that many. Just like 500 of them. So people think I've got like so many. I just have like 500. Right. But the truth is, as I've been moving,
Starting point is 00:06:04 a couple of them came to the new place and they've been in the front yard. far as I'm figuring it out. Got this beautiful old horse and this little lion. Eve saw the horse today and goes, oh my God, I love that fucking horse. And I go, you love an animal sculpture? My mother never expresses that she likes things.
Starting point is 00:06:29 And she goes, I love it. And I go, you want it? She goes, yeah. I put it right in my car, put it in her. her house. I go, where do you want? And she goes right by my window, right outside so I could stare at it. Wow. And now I'm thinking... This is like a DNA test. I might just get a bunch of animal sculptures for Eve. Don't bring her into this. I think she brought me into this brother. She might have.
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Starting point is 00:10:33 home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Hello. Hello. Hi, welcome to problem solvers with Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. What could we do for you today? Oh, hi. Hi.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Hi. My problem, Sam, from being a middle school teacher. Okay. that's the problem. So you're a middle school teacher. All right. So before we ask the questions that they used to do on a stupid podcast called, we're here to help, we're now running a show called Problem Solvers.
Starting point is 00:11:15 All right. So tell us what your problem is and then tell us, why did you call the Problem Solvers? Wow, this sounds so much like a podcast I used to listen to. Yeah, but this one's better. 2.0, baby girls. Why did you call the Problem Solvers? Oh, great.
Starting point is 00:11:32 For the record, I did like the old one, too. Keep going. Middle school teacher. Old one's dead. Okie-dokey. Oh, no. It's not dead. You are now on the show called Problem Solves.
Starting point is 00:11:45 New theme song. Problem Solvers. Problem solvers. We are the problems. Why does this talk make me nauseous? I don't feel good. All right. Actually, what's your name?
Starting point is 00:11:55 Let's go back to weird. My name is Megan. Megan, where are you calling from? I'm calling from Northern Utah. Oh, we've got so many Utah folks. It's great. I know. I've noticed that, too.
Starting point is 00:12:11 It's interesting. I guess there's a lot of problems in Utah. That's why you guys all call the problem solvers. I guess so. Okay, I'm not going to debate that one. That is why. Megan from Northern Utah, you're a middle school teacher. What's your age range?
Starting point is 00:12:27 Within 40 years. Within 40. You're at a 40? Are you 41 to 80? I'm a six years old. I'm a newborn. Okay, great. So Megan, Northern Utah, middle school teacher, newborn.
Starting point is 00:12:43 What can we do for you today? Under 40. So my problem is that my students keep breaking my stapler. It's happened every year for the past several years. This year, I even explicitly told them I have five different classes and I told every single class. This has been a problem. Please be gentle with a stapler. It's a brand new stapler. And I show them how to properly use a stapler, how you know, you can't be using it on materials that are not paper and how you should do it properly. And again, they have broken the stapler
Starting point is 00:13:20 within the first week and a half of school. I don't know about you, but I have never rendered a stapler unusable myself. I don't know how these kids are doing it. I don't know who's responsible. I don't know how it's happening. But my question is how Uncle Jake and Uncle Garris, can we get my students to respect my stapler?
Starting point is 00:13:43 Just right off the bat, can I just say how fun middle school was? Remember what a fucking maniac you were? I mean, it doesn't sound crazy to me to be breaking a stapler because... It's fun as hell. You're just psychotic. You're just the psychotic non-listening...
Starting point is 00:13:57 It's a problem Roomba. But Megan, walk us through. What's happening? Is it somebody's punching it? They're hammering it, I bet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it could be.
Starting point is 00:14:06 I don't hear any hammering of the stapler in the classroom when we're doing activities. I really, I couldn't tell you. It's just one day we were working on an, well, it was a few days. We were working on assignment that would require a stapler. And then at some point in time, a student goes, oh, the stapler is not working. I didn't hear what led up to that. It was probably the student before them that was using the stapler, but... What about Stapler jail or Stapler Hospital?
Starting point is 00:14:40 Okay. Accountability, but she doesn't know who's doing it. What I mean is... Yeah, that's the problem. Well, what I mean is, Meg, the stapler isn't free range anymore. Yeah, that's... This chicken's in a coop. That's kind of where...
Starting point is 00:14:58 If you want it, you give a little piece of paper that says, I will bring back this baby stapler safely. What if you name it, give it a baby's name? Oh, I like putting eyes on it. And it's a stapler babysitter. So when you're done babysitting, you bring it back. Okay. Because somebody has been killing the babies.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Oh, yeah. Yeah, we can't have that. The only problem is what, Meg? The only problem is, like, I have a classroom full of 30 students, and if they're all trying to get their assignments stapled together, like, I cannot be babysitting while I'm helping students and trading stapler passes. What is the...
Starting point is 00:15:43 Walk me through... How does the stapler go into action? You're saying that you just basically are just like there's a stapler, it for your papers. Right. And they just go up there. I think to what Jake's saying, I think we need to kind of reorganize how this works, because I think you need to have a little more organization to how this place.
Starting point is 00:16:10 It's a free-for-all right now. So what I would say is that stapling now happens at the end. So you've got your paper. You keep it there. At the end of class, you save five minutes of staple time. while you watch people use the stapler, it's almost like a lunch line. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:31 But I also think part of it, Megan, is the group has to know they've lost privileges. Yeah. You know what you could do, Jake, is you could do a mom, you could do like a Stacey and Stephen Stapler. You put sort of what you were saying. We put eyes on it.
Starting point is 00:16:51 I mean, you put some eyes on it. You give it like ones for the, One's for the boys, one's for the girls. Who does better? Yes. And there's some sort of accountability. Yes, and one side is getting punished if their stapler breaks and the other side's getting a light reward. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:17:09 We both know what you and I would do. We both know what you and I would do in middle school. Sabotage. Yeah. We'd break the- 100% sabotage Stacy. That's true. I want a cupcake.
Starting point is 00:17:20 So here's what I would say. Remember, this is very close to Wood Gere. said, remember the game? I don't know if they still do it, but I don't remember why in God's name you would do this, but kids at the babysit an egg. Yeah. I remember. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:37 I never did it, but I remember the tro. I have no idea. I don't remember. In Utah, that's a big player. I take it easy. They're drinking sodas. It's a soda-based people. Soto-based people's quick.
Starting point is 00:17:55 This is why they're so off the wall. Their vice is soda. But here's what I'm thinking, Megan. Going to the egg technique, what if we do a thing with the class? And that is, if this stapler works perfectly, you're doing a thing with the class where you're testing them about group responsibility,
Starting point is 00:18:19 you show at the beginning it works. You say some people have been going too hard, I don't know, but it's been breaking. If at the end of the month, this stapler is in good shape, we do soda Friday, last day of the month. If not, you don't get soda Friday. Nobody's in trouble.
Starting point is 00:18:39 No one's going to be singled out, but can you as a community take care of Jerry the stapler? And before, just to get ahead of your note, Megan, you're going to test the state, you're going to have to adjust your routine a little, you're going to test the stapler at the beginning of every class. And you're going to show everybody.
Starting point is 00:18:59 And at the end of every class. Well, that's a little bit much because that's what I don't think she's got to do it every class. Okay. But then the problem, so are we saying that this is a... If it breaks. Every class is off. But if every class can come together, keep the stapler alive for a month, we're all getting the treat. What do you think of that, Megan?
Starting point is 00:19:21 We can't do soda. I'm not allowed to let my kids have, like, food or drinking class and I can't bring up. But we can come up with others. What about like a no homework over a weekend? Yes. Or what if you... We don't do homework on the weekend.
Starting point is 00:19:37 Well, now you do. If they break it, they give it. Go ahead, Jay. Well, how about this? Oh, there we go. There we go. Negative consequences. How about this? You don't do, you go, here's what we're doing.
Starting point is 00:19:47 Over Christmas break, we're going all the way through Christmas. If the stapler remains no homework. If not, you don't, you don't. You all have to write a two-page essay about how to better take care of the stapler for the spring term. Oh, okay. I like that. And they go, wait, wait. They go, wait, what?
Starting point is 00:20:13 The staplers are easy to use for middle schoolers. Unless you look at one little boy, you punch it. Unless you look at a heavy-handed kid, you slam it. So you have until December 16th. On that day, I'm going to line, everyone's going to be sitting here. I'm going to take a piece of paper. I'm going to use the stapler. If it works like this, you do a demo in front of everybody.
Starting point is 00:20:41 No homework. If it doesn't, no questions asked, you are all going to write a two-page essay that will be graded, and that grade will matter. Hey, guys, enjoy. joy you could also how how many kids you teach oh i mean like 130 throughout the day jesus christ you could also it could be your the essay could be from the pov of the stapler actually you know what megan what are you thinking where are you at here um i think that definitely like putting some consequences in place if you know the expert
Starting point is 00:21:25 expectations are not met could potentially work. I like personifying the stapler because I think kids would really get into that and also encourage each other to be nice to the stapler if the stapler becomes a sort of class pet. I've got a question. How many staplers? How many staplers you got? Well, I have one on my desk and then one over by where they turn in their classwork. Why don't you do this?
Starting point is 00:21:52 Put a mustache on one of them for no, for people who aren't watching. and check out YouTube. Gareth has a mustache now. It's handsome. And then the other one, put a little perm wig on the top of them. One of them is called Gary. One of them is called Gareth. They need to take care of the stable.
Starting point is 00:22:10 And then you go, so they don't ask to use a stapler. They go, hey, can I get Gary? I got to put these papers together. That's the mustache. And Gareth has a little perm on top of his head. And the one with the perm, put a bunch of oil on it so it's slippery. Now you're asking for stapler issues. I appreciate the pitch and its merits, but you are asking for greased here slants.
Starting point is 00:22:30 No, no, just put baby oil on it, so it slips right through your hands. Like, oil up that pig and try to grab it. What do you think of that, Meg? What do you think about giving them names, giving them little? It's not going to help. The oil's a mistake. Yeah. The oil's a big mistake.
Starting point is 00:22:47 We hated that idea. But what do you think about a little, little makeshift wig? It's so easy to make. You could just get little wires. and then a little mustache, you could also just glue little wires on it that looks like a cat's whiskers. I like that idea.
Starting point is 00:23:04 We can definitely make Gary and Gareth are new staplers. What a legacy. And then are you going to do if either Gareth or Gary breaks, then they have to write an essay on how to treat Gareth or,
Starting point is 00:23:20 you know what they have to do? A eulogy. I have an idea. And they have to write it. They have to eulogize it. And then realize that they're Jake and they've been too hard on Gareth and Gary. That can come across in the eulogy. The eulogy can be POV from the person who had this sort of scrooge mentality and now misses their firm to me ago.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Was too hard on the stapler and broke it. It was too hard on the stapler, literally. I was too hard on you. What do you think of this, Megan? I like that idea. So pitch is back to us what you're going to do. Yeah, go ahead. I do like, you know, creating Gary and Garris are staplers
Starting point is 00:24:07 and just reminding them to be nice to Gary and Garris. We love Gary and Garris. We want Gary and Garris to be around for a real long time. stands baby oil but perhaps having that consequence of of the eulogy
Starting point is 00:24:27 or essay hanging over their head of hey if Gary and Garris or if either of them are not working at any point in the year you guys will be writing the eulogy each of you great it. Here's what you could do
Starting point is 00:24:41 here's what you could do too you could at the start of this You could kind of do the one, two, going around the room. You're number one, you're number two. You could label people a Gary and a Gareth. You can keep a list of who's who. And then those groups use those.
Starting point is 00:24:59 You put those staplers on opposite sides of the rooms, and they're slowly competing over whose stapler can make it to the end of the semester. If at the end of the semester, both staplers have survived, they get a reward. If before that one of the staplers breaks, they're out of the running. and then the other group has one, essentially. So the point of it is to keep your stapler alive for the whole semester. If you do it, both Gary and Gareth groups get rewarded. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:29 Does that make sense? Yeah, I like that. Yeah. So then we have the reward rather than, you know, dangling the carrot. Well, no, but if they do fuck up, I definitely think you can do the eulogy, too. Okay, okay. Both. It's carrot or the stick.
Starting point is 00:25:44 So, Megan, let's do this. It's now on you. What the hell are you going to do in detail? We are the class. So now stand in front of the class and tell the class the new world order. Okay, well, damn. Hey, class, welcome. All right, you all know that we've been having a problem keeping our staplers in working order.
Starting point is 00:26:09 Today, I'm going to introduce you to our new friends, Gary, and Gareth. This is when I show them the staplers. who have been personified. So your task throughout the rest of the year is to keep Gary and Gareth alive. They are class pets, they are our babies, and we love them, and we want to treat them with respect and care. And then at that point, I will break up the class into Gary versus Gareth and explain that it's now becoming a competition to see who can keep their stapler alive the longest.
Starting point is 00:26:46 whoever is able to work with their team to make it all the way until the end of the school year will be rewarded with, I'm not certain of the reward yet, but insert reward here. Okay, but you can figure that out. Yeah. And if your stapler doesn't make it, unfortunately, you will have to own every individual who has been assigned to that stapler that had passed will have to be writing a two-page eulity. to in memoriam of Gary or Garris, who was not treated with care and kindness. This is pretty good. Megan, will you do me a favor really fast?
Starting point is 00:27:28 This is just for a promo. Will you say, hi, this is Megan from Northern Utah, and you've been listening to Problem Solvers, and I just had my problem solved. Go ahead, Megan. Hi, this is Megan from Northern Utah, and you've been listening to Problems Solvers, solvers and I just had my problem solved.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Thanks so much. We'll talk you really soon. Follow up with us. And send us the photos of Gareth and Gary, please. Yes. Enjoy the creative process. All right. Thank you, Megan.
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Starting point is 00:31:18 It's just all on my website. Well, it's like, oh, do I need to go to like, do I need another type of website to like find the right pictures or like another type of website to upload the, like, it's all in one place. The video or the audio or like, no, I want it makes it easy. Make it easy on me, please. Yes, and you can do all those things, photos, videos, changing fonts.
Starting point is 00:31:36 You know, I mean, the designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs. There are SEO tools, which I know what those are. and their custom domains. Oh, what's come up with a domain right now? Let's see. I wonder if it exists. www.
Starting point is 00:31:51 Friends meeting. Friends. Friends meeting friends.com. Check out Squarespace.com slash headgum for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code headgum to save 50% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hello. Hello. Hi, how are you?
Starting point is 00:32:10 Good. How are you? Good. Can we get your name, please? My name is Alex. Alex. Alex, we'll get some more details in a minute, but Jake isn't here, but in his stead we have the great Andy Richter joining us. Oh, amazing.
Starting point is 00:32:27 It's amazing. And you know what else is amazing? Is that elf unwrapped, the sort of behind-the-scenes elf book that Andy has put together, comes out November 3rd. And Alex, you can order it. You can pre-order it, right? Where's the best place for people to go snag this book? If you go to elf unwrapped.com, it'll have links to it everywhere you might want it, possibly do it. I mean, you could do it through a big monolith or you could do it through a local indie.
Starting point is 00:32:59 It's up to you. Yep. You could, you know, get it out on the street outside a playground, out of a van. Is that happening? Are there van playgrounds? Probably. Probably. I'm guessing.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Yeah, yeah. All right. As long as we feel good about that, that's fine. Alex, where are you calling from? I'm calling from San Diego. Okay, Alex, San Diego, Elf Unwrapped, November 3rd, Andy Richter. Let's party. What's going on?
Starting point is 00:33:27 Yes. So my dad is 68 years old, but lives like a very young life. Him and my mom live in a super artsy neighborhood in Atlanta. They travel a bunch. They do like neighborhood block parties. and hang out with a lot of people in their 40s and 50s. So you really wouldn't know that they're in their late 60s. The only thing that gives it away is that my dad is starting to smell like a little musty
Starting point is 00:33:58 and a little stale and get an old man smell. So I'm noticing it more and more when I see him, which is like five times a year or so. And I've tried like a few. few kind of things that have been, I guess, short-term fixes. But ultimately, I'm hoping you all can help me figure out a way to let my dad know that he's starting to get a little musty and like smell like a closet because I do think he'd want to know. But I also think just straight up telling him what hurt his feelings.
Starting point is 00:34:37 So trying to tow that line. So sad. Where do you think the smell is coming from? Is it coming from his armpits, from his breath? Is it a combo? I think it's a combo, but I feel like it's like he also is very conscious about like wasting water. And so I feel like he is like, oh, if my clothes aren't sweaty, I'm not going to wash them again. Or, you know, I'll be able to get another wear out of them or something like that.
Starting point is 00:35:11 So I do feel like it's not just like, I guess, body odor that, you know, is like part of, part of him. Does your mom smell? Excellent question. No, she doesn't. I think it's, I don't think we're. Their house is starting. Their house is what? Their house is like kind of starting.
Starting point is 00:35:36 I can like, it's starting to smell a little bit. When I go over there, I can notice it, but not my mom. Wow. It's like, do you ever smoke cigarettes, Andy? Yes. It's like, you know, you didn't know. We didn't know. And then you quit, and then you smell those who smoked and you, oh, my God, I smelled like rotting peanuts.
Starting point is 00:35:55 And forget the people, the entire world used to smell like cigarette smoke. It must have. We were happier. Yeah. I mean, when you think about when you go into a room where people have been smoking, you smell it. And that was every single room in the world. The non-smoking-smoking sections on a plane is the one that I look back on a go. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:36:18 How did this? Yeah. I mean, restaurants was one thing, but on a plane to be like, only half of this super-contained environment is allowed to have cigarettes. In my adult life, because it was when I was making the movie semi-pro in Michigan, and I was not aware, I know, like I understand that the interstate. of Michigan might as well be Appalachia. I understand that. I'm from Illinois, so I know that. But I didn't realize that they had these lax cigarette laws.
Starting point is 00:36:48 And whenever that was that we made semi-pro, it was in the early 2000s, I went to a diner in this very nice suburb. And it was like a shotgun diner. You know, it was like rows of booths on one side and then on both sides and then a center aisle. One side smoking, the other side non-smoking. Like you could reach and touch the ashtray from the non-smoking section. And that was within my lifetime. You know, that's like I was an adult.
Starting point is 00:37:17 I had a sag card at that point. And there's still places in the world where you could smoke while eating. Crazy. Three feet from someone else eating. I mean, I remember doing it. I remember being very happy eating and mixing cigarettes and being like, this is fine. Food's great. Yep.
Starting point is 00:37:35 Let's name dad real quick just so we can be specific. What's dad's name? His name is Greg. Greg. And mom is Harry. Mom's Harry? Terry with a key. Makes way more sense.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Yeah, I thought maybe it just meant she was her suit. Mom's also pretty hairy. That's the next problem. Mom, depilitary. Mom's a Yeti. Okay. So, and do you think anyone else has noticed this stink? I've asked my husband, and he was like being sweet about it and was like, yeah, I noticed like, you know, he just smells like a man who's lived a long life. That could also describe a corpse.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Who was done living a long life. Yeah, yeah. And then my, my sister-in-law, she's, like, a huge fan of the show. So when I wrote in an email, I told her. And so she is also aware. And she lives in Atlanta. So she's around them more frequently. But she didn't, like, she didn't push back and was like, what?
Starting point is 00:38:57 I don't smell him. She was just like, ha, ha, that makes sense. Yeah. Okay. I, well, Gareth, do you have a... No, Andy, by all means. I just think, I think if I were in his shoe, and first of all, is he a touchy guy? Like, is he, is he easily offended?
Starting point is 00:39:14 Does he fly off the handle? Um, he... Pause isn't great. I feel like, I feel like he's more sensitive, like, than maybe, but not, not like he would fly off the handle or anything. No, he is, like, very, like, kill but sensitive. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:39:34 And, yeah, I think it would hurt his feelings, but he certainly would not, like, be, he would also think this whole thing is pretty funny. Yeah. But I think, like, deep down it would hurt his feelings a little bit. You want the ninja. You don't want him to know that we're spiking the punch here and fixing the problem.
Starting point is 00:39:57 Yeah, that would be ideal. I just think, I think he have to meet him head. on with love and concern. I think you got to say, dad, I love you. And I'm telling you this because I think it's crept up on you and you have not noticed it and mom doesn't notice it, but you smell bad. And you need to like, you need to wash your clothes more. I understand you're being eco-friendly.
Starting point is 00:40:21 But I'm telling you I notice it. And if I notice it, other people notice it. And I don't want you going out into the world. be, you know, offending people or having people talk about you behind your back, unless you don't care, then rock on, old man, you know. I remember when my mother, when I was probably like 12, told me I needed to start wearing deodorant, and it was, it was hurtful. I'll never forget it.
Starting point is 00:40:49 Now, I'm not saying, look, in the long run, it worked out. Right, sure did. Thank you, Andy. You smell great now. Andy. You do. Yeah, it's all. That's actually a pitch.
Starting point is 00:41:01 You just coat yourself in some sort of fragrance and keep hugging him. Sort of rub it off of him like a cab pine tree fragrance. Yeah. So I do try and like give him some positive reinforcement. I'm like when he does smell good. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, you know. Making it known.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Oh, that's tough too. Wow, dad doesn't stink today. That's brutal. All right, I'm going to, here's, I'm going to, I think Andy, look, Andy's approach is probably the one that really rips the Band-Aid off and definitely, it does. It's like you're talking about a lifestyle change. This is what I personally would want. I would, I mean, I've had people tell me whatever physical that helps me. It's motivated.
Starting point is 00:41:56 There are people who can be. into a little bit of, it can be hard. So my pitch would be this. My pitch would be tell mom we're going to pull a caper. And you tell mom, you're going to give dad and mom, Greg and Harry, you're going to give them each a specifically catered for them fragrance. And mom, you're telling mom about hers because you want her to love his. fragrance that he's spraying on.
Starting point is 00:42:30 So, and they, and honestly, you could just go to the mall, if those still exist, and just buy a couple fragrances, but pour it in a separate bottle, and you could call moms terrific for Terry and dad's gregarious. And these are two catered fragrances that you've bought them a full two-year subscription for, and it might be something nice for them. you got one you love yours um you got uh al excellent and um and you give them to them and when your mom smells dad's fragrance she's going to go oh my god i love that oh that's phenomenal i just i think this is a recipe for disaster gareth it's a rest you're damn right it is
Starting point is 00:43:24 Yeah, yeah. I just think because, A, if their olfactory powers are already this damage that they don't notice the slow creep, they could, are there in serious risk of overcorrecting? Yo, you're thinking, okay. That you might go. Wouldn't we rather that than the sort of slipper that smells like it got left out in the rain? I don't know. I don't know. I might rather, I might possibly prefer my elderly father's. natural musk to say like European playboy.
Starting point is 00:43:58 You know, and I, you know, I just think, I think it's much easier to say, launder your clothes. Well, Andy, we might have actually solved this early. Get dad to smoke. Oh, yeah. Just cover it up with that sweet cigarette smell. Frank Sinatra started back when he was like in his late 70s. And he was, somebody asked him about it. He said like, I'm 78, what the hell?
Starting point is 00:44:28 Is that right? Yeah, he did. That is a phenomenal choice. After years of not smoking. Did you just watch the documentary on him? No, no, that's just, that's information I've held on to for a long time. It came in real handy now. Yeah, yeah, it should be.
Starting point is 00:44:43 I mean, Alex, give us a hint of what direction you're feeling positive about so far. And we can keep pitching. So I think at this point, like maybe testing out the overcorrection angle in seeing if that is like unbearable and worse. Yeah. A fragrance of some kind. Yes. Yeah. A fragrance.
Starting point is 00:45:10 And then, you know, kind of just, I guess like taking a chance. It kind of in a way both could kind of work because if you do the fragrance pitch and you're giving it to him, it's a gesture, a nice gesture, it's a present. And then if he starts following up, you can maybe give a nudge in the direction of a tendril of truth as to why you thought of him for something like this. You know, it's just that I think it was a little worried that maybe you're going to, I know you don't wash your clothes as much, so this is a way for you to sort of get around that a little bit. I still, I still, I don't mean to be, I don't mean to be the thorn in the side here. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:02 I just think I know that, that smell of unwashed clothes. That smell. The smell that she's talking about is embarrassing. It's like mildew. It's like towels that, yes. Yeah. It's not being hung back up. Yes.
Starting point is 00:46:17 Yeah. I don't think there's any cologne in the world that can cover that up. So you think. I think that it's, it's, it's, it will just smell like mildew with, you know, earthy musk on top of it. Okay. I'm going to give. Or with, you know, you know, I'm going to give one more day on top of it. I'm going to give.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Well, why don't we do this? Alex, why don't you be your dad and Andy? Okay. Why don't you be Alex? And let's see if you can lay out maybe a way that we do this that maybe makes Greg feel okay. Is that okay? Sure. Role playing.
Starting point is 00:47:00 I love this. Okay. Dad, I wanted to tell you something. And I haven't known how to say this to you. But I have noticed. Are you pregnant? No, no, no. No way.
Starting point is 00:47:14 I would never do that. I see what misery I've brought to you and mom. So I would never, I would never, I would never wish that. No, okay. Dad, I love you, but I have noticed upon repeated exposure to you that you have started to gain an aroma. And I think it might have something to do. I think it might have something to do with the fact that you're ego friendly and you don't think you need to wash your clothes as much as you do. but I think you need to wash them more often.
Starting point is 00:47:48 I think that it's just you, maybe. Well, I guess you could ask people. I mean, it might just be me, but I don't think so. And I don't want to tell on anyone else because I just don't think that that's right. But I do think that maybe you should ask other people because I do think that, I think that it's something you're just not aware of. I think that it's, it's, you know, this has been a change, it's been gradual,
Starting point is 00:48:23 and you just haven't noticed. And I think maybe mom doesn't notice. But it does, I just, I worry about you going out into the world and being embarrassed. All right. I like that. It feels like I'm going to make him sad. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:44 Which I get. I understand. Have you never made the man sad before? I mean, come on. You're his daughter. That's true. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to give you two more quick pitches.
Starting point is 00:48:59 They might even, I think, what Andy is pitching is obviously the long-term fix. I mean, it just is. If you tell someone, like, my mother told me I stunk, I was like, God damn, that was fucking harsh. I've been wearing deodorant since, for the most part. And yours was, yours actually should have been like, wow, I'm becoming a man, whereas your dad's is more like, yeah, I'm ebbinessing. I, this is, and by the way, I'm not going to lie, I, I, I've avoided this with my father.
Starting point is 00:49:38 There's, there is, there's a, there's just a funk. I don't know. It's just, you know, it, it just happens. It's a combination of the clothing and the B.O. So it is just general hygiene. Here, two things I'm going to say. The first one is I would say you could blame it on yourself. And you could say that, did you say you're married?
Starting point is 00:50:02 Yes. Okay. You could say that you've, you had to have this talk with your husband too. You have this extreme heightened sense of smell. but you had to ask him to start cleaning better or like give up a fragranted body wash or something like that because you were noticing his smell.
Starting point is 00:50:25 You have this heightened sense of smell and then you lead into Andes and you go and because of that I almost feel like I have a sixth sense. I almost feel like a smell psychic. And I can tell you right now, Dad, you don't smell. But coming around the corner, you might. So I think we got to get ahead of it. Something like that.
Starting point is 00:50:43 where it's like a little, I can tell by Andy's face he loves it. Here's my other pitch. My other pitch is that you say that your husband said it to you, that you had an odor. And you're just kind of venting to your father about it. And then you're sort of from your POV of like, so I had to get like, I'm washing my clothes more and I'm doing that. And then you're imparting Andy's version as well. So it's all leading to Andy's, but it's just not the. intervention. I've got metrics behind me of others who share my feeling of an O'Dair.
Starting point is 00:51:20 Andy thoughts? Yeah, you will. I'm foaming the runway. I understand, but those all end up, those all, unless you're just not going to tell the truth because it's like, oh, my husband says I smell. And I think maybe you should, I don't understand how we get to. So, dad, you don't smell, but you should take the same precautions that I I'm taking because I smell.
Starting point is 00:51:45 I don't understand how back in. But I'm suggesting that I'm trying to bifurcate the feelings and the odor. I understand. And the feelings part I'm saying it comes from personal grime. Oh, Ed, you know, my husband, Eddie, he was telling me I fucking smell. I mean, can you believe that? I mean, look, I love him. So I'm just, you know, getting ahead of it.
Starting point is 00:52:08 As a matter of fact, that, honestly, I would just say, do the same, you know? It's actually, our marriage has been a little bit better since I've been wearing this perfume that he really liked. You know, something along those. It's a shot. You know, Dad. Andy, you know, Dad. Actually, now that I'm out in the real world, ever since I've been putting a fragrance on, people are being nicer to me. It's like a fucking magic potion.
Starting point is 00:52:32 I'm pouring all over myself. And all of a sudden, people are giving me free lottery tickets. A guy bought me a full tank of gas the other day. Yeah. Things are better. Squirrels are following me. Let me be Greg for a second. Honey, your husband's insane.
Starting point is 00:52:48 I'd never noticed any bad odor from you. Why would you do something like that? Fuck that guy. Well, I'm just, Dad, I'm just saying, and I agree. He's out of line. And I appreciate you having my back like that. What I'm saying is that maybe his initial note was a little much. But since I've been putting a fragrance on, my life's gotten a lot better.
Starting point is 00:53:09 Oh, good for you, hon. Now let's go back home. Hold on, had the whole on. Oh, yes, yes. Yeah, because we haven't even paid the tab or any, like, we're still sitting in the boot. Sure. Sure. Even though those people are smoking. I'm finished with my butter piccon. I understand you are, but let me just, dad, dad, look at me. I'm just saying, yeah, I'm just saying, I think maybe you might find this sort of, it's almost like a destined upgrade if you are just adding a fragrance to your life. And I would, I would love to buy you
Starting point is 00:53:38 something because I'm just telling you, I don't know what this system is. I'm not trying to sound like Tony Robbins, but things are getting better, the more than I'm putting on fragrances. And by the way, washing my clothes. I know you try to not do that. It's over. Wash your clothes. Have some fun. Let's all smell good. Well, Alex, my spouse has never said anything about the way I smell, so I think it's just you. And I appreciate your concern, but I think I'm doing just fine. Do you want a cigarette? Well, okay, Alex. Where are you at? What has, where's the best lead and do you have a decision? What are you thinking?
Starting point is 00:54:13 Cutting all ties and never speaking to him again. I'm sorry. That's my way. That's my way. No, that is the intervention creating the bottom. If you don't wash, I'm severing this relationship. I'm out. I kind of like the saying that I've gotten really sensitive to smells and that I've had to
Starting point is 00:54:38 have Christian, my husband, like have to wash his clothes more and shower more because just lately, whatever, I've like developed like a really big sensitivity to it. And then parlaying that into, and I think I'm like noticing it a lot on your clothes and, you know, maybe try these deodorizers or whatever. with the laundry and doing it more frequently. So kind of relaying into Andy's point, but softening it slightly. Maybe you say that you tell him this
Starting point is 00:55:21 in a conversation over the phone as the A side of this. Then when you see him, hit him with the B side, your superpower, your spidey nose, is telling him that this is coming for him and you want to help him get ahead of it. I like that. I like not even being about him at first.
Starting point is 00:55:40 It's a cocktail of most truths, but we're sweetening it with some lies. Andy? Yeah. Okay. Thankfully, this is for you, Alex, not Andy, but I think that's pretty good. I would start with the phone call, hey, I just, you know, explain it like a crazy little breakthrough. Yeah. I just got this nose that seems to be working on a new level all of a sudden.
Starting point is 00:56:07 Alex, I also think maybe you just come from a much nicer family than mine because there's no, there's not a lot of pussy footing around. There's just like, hey, dad, you smell. Yeah, we're all very, yeah, we're all like pretty sensitive people. I see, I see. So maybe you also start with, maybe the story in as you're just like, like a cartoon character the other day, I smelled a pie from a block away. I floated there. I sort of. Nose hurts.
Starting point is 00:56:36 I woke up. with a bib and a fork in my hand. Yeah, I think that's good. So, Alex, start with the A side. When you meet up with him, give him the B side, and offer the solutions and keep us posted. Let us know how it goes. Yeah, well, do.
Starting point is 00:56:52 Well, thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it. Good luck. Good luck. And don't forget, Elf Unwrapped, November 3rd. Yes, Alpernrapped. Yes, thank you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:01 Oh, give him the book when you're having the talk. Yes. If any time he looks hurt, just go, I got you this. Yeah. Stop your crying. If you were learning about the behind the scenes of a Christmas classic, wouldn't you want to smell nice? That's great.
Starting point is 00:57:17 Absolutely. That's great. It works for everybody. All right. All right, Alex, appreciate it. Thank you, guys. Thank you. All right.
Starting point is 00:57:23 Bye. Bye. Sweet Jesse here. This next call is a follow-up from episode 323, Kenny Z with Rhett and Link. Hello? Hello? Hi, how are you? Hello.
Starting point is 00:57:44 Hello. Good, how are you? Good, two people. We got two? Yeah. But they both stop talking. Hello? Sorry.
Starting point is 00:57:55 I'm assuming you all know it's a follow-up. We know it? So, guys, here's where we're at. We know it's a follow-up. That's all we know. Whoever was just talking, you start talking. Set the table where are we at? Great.
Starting point is 00:58:07 So Kenny Z is talking. gig and I have other McKenzie on the line. Hi, I'm McKenzie. Oh, the two McKenzie's. Yes. Gareth, they have the same name at work. They were, one of them was going to be Kenny Zee. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:58:22 And one was going to be McKenzie. Right. And so you guys have the same name at work, very similar last names. Kenny Zee was what we landed on right. Who was the guest helper on this one? It was right in like. Okay, so this just happened. Just happened, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:37 And so. remind everybody the exact problem what we suggested and what you did. So the exact problem that I proposed was that, you know, we have basically the same name and it comes across very unprofessional when we're going to like meetings and stuff together and have to introduce ourselves concurrently. And so we were looking for a professional fix for that, but something that was more fun than just one of us going by our middle name or something. And then we ended up just kind of like brainstorming silly like casual office.
Starting point is 00:59:08 nicknames. And we had discussed maybe doing like some kind of video for both of us and then having it voted on. But then in retrospect, that didn't really work out for us. And we didn't really want to go with that direction after the fact. Okay. So our final, so our final pitch was a video and then after you decided pass. Yeah, I realized it didn't really work out like for the.
Starting point is 00:59:38 the problem of us, you know, coming across unprofessional. It just comes across as like, like, it's definitely fun and a fun bit for the office. But we never really got a good solution for the formal dilemma. And so the solution is you've done nothing. Yeah. Okay. Now, can I hear from the other McKenzie? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:03 Hi, other McKenzie. How are you feeling about this problem? Hi, how are you guys? Good. Where are you at, girl? Well, well. I worked here first, so I knew it was coming for a while. So we kind of tried to prepare.
Starting point is 01:00:16 And every time I would think about it, I would get frustrated because I'm like, oh, my gosh, what are the odds that our bosses hire someone with the exact same name as me? And why would they do that? So our coworkers have been throwing around a lot of nicknames. And for me, they're really stuck on Ronald McDonald. No. For some reason. If it's always sunny, it's an always sunny reference.
Starting point is 01:00:37 Yeah, they just started throwing out Big Mac, you know, all these McDonald's meals. So then it became Ronald McDonald's. You can't go by Ronald McDonald's. No. No. It doesn't suit me. No. And then professionally, everyone just laughs in our face.
Starting point is 01:00:55 Yeah, he's a clown. Yeah. He's a literal clown. Yeah, he's a clown with fries. No. Okay. So where, so what is the state right now? and are you guys following up?
Starting point is 01:01:08 This is basically the first call. But are you looking for a solution? Are you just following up to say, didn't help? Where are you guys at? I think we're looking for a solution, right, McKenzie? Yeah, I think so. I felt like I felt like it was kind of a one-sided decision
Starting point is 01:01:30 since it was only me the first time. And yeah, and I wanted to include both McKenzie's because she's right. She did have the seniority in the office. I love that you did that, McKenzie. And I love... Hey, McKenzie, I love that you did that from McKenzie. The way you're treating McKenzie, McKinsey, is really cool. It's awesome, Kenzies.
Starting point is 01:01:51 What do you think about... Hey, new McKenzie? So there's OG and there's new McKenzie, right? Just to be clear for our audience. Sure. We're experiencing what the office experience is right now. But OG McKenzie was the one who was there before. Yes.
Starting point is 01:02:07 She's been there longer than new McKinsey. McKenzie. Yeah. And then New McKenzie is the one who called our show. Yeah. Ooh, you like Legacy. Does Legacy like Legacy?
Starting point is 01:02:20 That was... I've had to work with your name issue for five minutes and I'm in hell. I can't imagine what works like. Yeah, it's got... And we have the same job. You know what I think? This is a real thought here.
Starting point is 01:02:38 When there's a problem with kids... And you can't figure... something out. And I've got to tell you, McKenzie's, I have twin girls. So they're not identical, but I get this problem. You know what the solution is never? One gets and one doesn't. Yes. You both lose the name McKenzie. O.G. Your legacy. New one. You're Kenny Z. Or rookie. Nope. Kenny Z still works for me. What about Kenny Z and legacy? Kenny Z is born in my office
Starting point is 01:03:14 And definitely can't do I am older But You can't do legacy because you're older Rookie Oh no, okay This is like the one that called in speaking now I can't be a rookie
Starting point is 01:03:30 Hold on, ladies I knew that was coming by the way Because it's insane There's also a reception issue This is what I'm hearing right now I'm gonna and then also I'm the no one but I'm there over I don't like it McKenzie's in a foxhole talking over each other just I'm gonna have the enemy shoot me so Jake took himself out serge yeah but I'm like but say it was from their bullets
Starting point is 01:03:54 from my family his last words I want a purple heart what his last words where I want a purple heart you shot yourself in the knee you sissy um so McKenzie, who originally called in? Yes. Before you start talking, I need you to say Kenny Z here. Mackenzie, who this is your first time, Colin. When you start talking, say Legacy here. Copy from Legacy.
Starting point is 01:04:27 That's even better. This is working really well so far. Okay, so who was talking before? Kenny Zee here. I was talking before. We love like the silly office nicknames. We can, like, workshop that or hold on to that. But the problem is when me and Legacy go to these meetings in public,
Starting point is 01:04:48 and we're representing our bureau, and we meet someone, and we go, hi, my name is, and I think I already told you guys. It's like, hi, my name is McKinsey Bayer. Next shake hand. And, Katie Meyer, they look at us, like, with two heads. And you can't say, and you can't say, hi, I'm Kenny Z and I'm Legacy, because then you seem like you're in a 90s boy band. It's tough.
Starting point is 01:05:09 right because i'm kenny z and i'm legacy feels like kenny z sings and legacy does the rap i'm the left eye of the pair it feels like you guys should be wearing matching turtlene hats on backwards i mean i would think it was cool but then i'd go when do you guys start dj in this bar mitzvah
Starting point is 01:05:31 yeah Kenny z and legacy by the way gary we just created new characters for us Kenny Zian legacy That is us, man Kenny Z and legacy That is unfortunately us
Starting point is 01:05:49 And I am picturing us In like the TLC Outfits I have an eye patch I'm like I'm wearing overalls With nothing underneath But I'm going through a heavy stage
Starting point is 01:05:59 Two band-aids on your arm And one under the eye You're going through a heavy face And overalls with those shirt All right. Back to the McKenzie's. So we're not worried about it in the office. We're worried about when you guys meet people, right?
Starting point is 01:06:20 Legacy, what's your middle name? Jordan. Kenny Z. What's your middle name? Haley. Why not? Just when you're being introduced to others, you guys go middle names. At the office? Like exclusively?
Starting point is 01:06:37 Listen to me for a second. What is the issue of this? Mackenzie, what is the issue? Legacy here. Okay, go. So, Legacy, who said, like, exclusively? Was that legacy? No, that one was me, Kenny Z.
Starting point is 01:06:58 Okay. Kenny Z. When you called in, what was the problem? Well, I think you have a grasp on the problem, but I was trying to clarify, are you saying we, like, say our middle names or just go. switch to our middle names. Switch to your, just switch to the middle names
Starting point is 01:07:15 when introducing yourselves at these work events. Well, because we often have a long, like a long time of corresponding with these people. So then you always have, that'll be confusing in our email. Okay, how about first name and middle name?
Starting point is 01:07:30 Like Sarah Ann, Sarah Jane. Like the southern route. The southern route. Where's, hi, everybody. I'm McKenzie, whatever. And I'm McKenzie, blah, blah. It's still so. I mean, that's definitely an option, but this is really long, and I feel like that makes it even funnier.
Starting point is 01:07:49 Jake, you know, I'm going to tell you. You know, on this show, what I think we're better as friends, the version of that is, and we hear it from time to time. The way people demure and reject a pitch with politeness is, I mean, that's an option. Agreed. I mean, that's an option. Yeah, we know it's an option. This whole thing's option. That's why we said it.
Starting point is 01:08:09 This show's called options. I mean, I guess that's an option. The show should... We don't want the show to be called options. In our nightmare, this show is hosted by Kenny Zian legacy, and it's called Options. She's going through a fat face. Let's be honest. Overall, nipples are showing out from the side.
Starting point is 01:08:27 Why is Legacy eating a euro? Because I was still hungry after lunch. That's the album. That's the single. Legacy! Still hungry after lunch. Okay, so I think this is what I would pitch. I would pitch we go
Starting point is 01:08:43 Kenny Zee and Legacy in office. That seems like we're fine with that. I hear... Ladies, your thoughts. Which one were you talking to? I can't with these two, Gareth. I'm going to freak out. You take a break.
Starting point is 01:08:59 I'm going to freak out on you, ladies. Sit on some eyes for a second. Okay. He's talking to both of you, so we're trying to get a Democratic vote here. So Kenny Z and Legacy around the office. How are we feeling the both of you's? Legacy approved.
Starting point is 01:09:14 Good from Kenny Z. Double approved. Okay, great. Two thumbs up. There we go. So that's the happen. I'm going to pitch that when we're out on these business trips and how often are these happening these business meetings with other people?
Starting point is 01:09:28 A lot. Few times them off. And their long-term relationship. So these are important names. I'm going to pitch that we go reality show style, which is where we do McKenzie and the first initial of your last name. That's what I'm going to pitch. So we go.
Starting point is 01:09:46 So we would go, I'm McKenzie. And we would say this. There's two McKenzie's. So I go by McKenzie L and I'm McKenzie G. It's not bad. And that's just. That could work. It's clean.
Starting point is 01:10:04 It's not silly. It's not the full name. It gets it done. And then we have fun at the office. Legacy, your thoughts on that. I like it. Our other co-workers. suggested we need to have a three-person buffer at all times.
Starting point is 01:10:20 What does that even mean? We can't be next to each other and we can't introduce next to each other. By the way, I think that's okay. I think that I don't mind that. I don't mind having a three-person buffer. Gareth hates it. Gareth, go. Because I don't think, I think what we're trying to avoid here is the awkwardness of your
Starting point is 01:10:39 same name. You don't need to do much. You just need to have a really clean, prepped intro of, there's another McKenzie, so just so you know, I go by McKenzie P. Got it. Kenny Z, your thoughts on this? Yeah, I think that works. I think it's clean, you know, and that will represent whatever emails are.
Starting point is 01:11:03 So hopefully it will minimize confusing. Legacy, your thoughts on this. I like it. So let's do this really fast, Legacy. First of all, because your reception is better, I want you to introduce both you guys at the office and I want to hear how it sounds as you go so everybody knows who you are and who she is at the office.
Starting point is 01:11:25 Let's hear it. You mean like to new people or your office. Your office nicknames to everybody knows. No longer call me McKenzie. I am legacy. This is my dear friend Kenny Z. We will respond to nothing else. Check out our album hungry after lunch.
Starting point is 01:11:43 Check out our albums to hungry after lunch is so funny. Agree. Hungry after lunch. All right. Let's do it. Guys going through an Elvis body crisis. Ozambic didn't work. The docs are baffled.
Starting point is 01:12:02 I do three shots a day. Just you like you huge medical anomaly. Not sure what's happening. Honestly scared. Okay. That's the book. Honestly scared. Honestly scared about health stuff.
Starting point is 01:12:22 All right. Legacy, let's hear it. I'm Legacy. Other McKenzie is now. Kenny Z. And all we'll take. Okay, pretty good. Now let's hear you guys.
Starting point is 01:12:37 And Legacy, you do the intro, pretend it's a work thing. And let's hear you say your name. And then Kenny Z. Let's hear you do your little intro, but try to do it like it's in a work situation as if there's no buffer. And Gareth and I will pretend to honestly with the audience. We will all listen like we're at work. And then everybody please comment if this works or if it doesn't.
Starting point is 01:13:02 Okay, ready? Ready. Hi, nice to meet you. I'm McKenzie M. Hi, nice to meet you. I'm McKenzie B. So normal. It's great.
Starting point is 01:13:15 It's fine. Because then I go, McKenzie M, McKenzie B. And then sometimes I can just go in my head, like, and then what I'll do, if I was there, I'd go, M.B. Yep. I like that. There were two Mels and the Spice Girls. Worked for them. True.
Starting point is 01:13:35 Not as cool. You thought it was going to be. Garrett, you guys can't see this, but he did two peace signs to the side, like a true. Like a true Kenny Z moment. Starving after lunch. Hungry after lunch. Will kill me forever. So what do you guys think of it?
Starting point is 01:13:49 I think it's very clean. I think we also are very happy to get Legacy and Kenny Z. We're having a little bit of fun at work, and then not a little bit of fun at work. And I think if you guys are really into it, what we can do is you could maybe take a couple pictures. We could have Amy on Patreon, find someone to maybe Photoshop a fake album cover for you, too.
Starting point is 01:14:12 I love that. I love it. Great, you guys are happy? Yeah, yeah. All right. So let's get a follow-up to the follow-up. So then we can get into the bell ring. All right.
Starting point is 01:14:26 We can do that. All right, Kenny Zee, Legacy. Hey, really quickly, will you guys take us out with a little bit of, as if you were on a morning radio show as Kenny Zian Legacy talking about your band? And you guys are introducing yourselves. And then the name of the group is still hungry after lunch? Do we do the radio voice? Yeah, like you guys are doing, like, no, Gareth and I will do the radio voice
Starting point is 01:14:53 and we're sending it to you guys. No, you guys are, what's the name of your band? Well, I guess it's still hungry after lunch. It could be the Big Macs. Oh, the Big Macs. The Big Macs. I was still hungry after lunch. That's the album.
Starting point is 01:15:08 That's the album. So you guys are the, so you guys introduce yourselves. You guys are the Big Macs and check out our album, Still Hungry After Lunch. Coming at you now. when you guys are done, it's just going to end the episode. So we're not going to say anything after. And Gareth and I will get you started and we will be the morning zoo guys. And we will lead into you ladies, okay?
Starting point is 01:15:30 Okay. Okay. One of us speaks first. That doesn't matter because here we are. We're back on WK-9-2. And we got a lot of fun today. In the morning, we're going to do weather in a minute. And again, we have Jackie meatballs coming in at 9.30.
Starting point is 01:15:43 He's going to show us if we can put down tacos having fun. If we can put down 30 meatballs, we'll see what that's like. Hey, you know what I can do that because I did that last night and the night before. That's why you're sponsored by Prylosek, my man. Hey, we got the Big Max in studio. They're here promoting a new album. This is an exciting band. Ladies, what do you got?
Starting point is 01:16:02 Y'all have been here before. What's going on? What can we do? Who are you? Hey, this is Legacy, and we have. And this is Kenny Z. Check out our new album. All right, all right, all right.
Starting point is 01:16:14 Let's start again. Pause. Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. Overlap a little bit, ladies. We can't have dead time. We've got people driving in the car. And three, three, two, one, E.
Starting point is 01:16:27 Yeah, we're back. We're having a lot of fun here in studio. We're still doing the big boat giveaway of October. We're calling a boat tober for a reason. Someone's walking out of here with a boat. Sorry, sailing out of here with a boat. Tacos having some fun. What's funny about tacos is he could be replaced by a Spencer's gift key chain.
Starting point is 01:16:47 No shame. How was the extravaganza last night at the beer garden? You were giving away free. Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp. It smells like it. It's like I'm doing a show with a Miller light. We have the Big Macs, bad enough. We have the Big Macs in studio.
Starting point is 01:17:03 Ladies, welcome back to the show. It's been a few years. How are you? Good. This is Legacy and Kenny Z here. Check out our new album. Well, what's it called? So hungry after lunch.
Starting point is 01:17:16 Oh, great. Well, that's something we can all love about working people. pick it up. McDonald's. Okay, dokey. Great to talk to you and take care of now. Good job, guys. Bye.
Starting point is 01:17:28 McDonald's. Just want to mention that all new episodes are released a day early on Hulu. Yep. We are also having our back catalog is going to be on Hulu. We're going to be about 20 at a time. So if you have not checked us out on Hulu, then check us out on Hulu. Gareth, Jesse, are we saying any lies?
Starting point is 01:18:01 No, and you can get season one, season two. We're going to have a nice melange on Hulu, but the day early. I mean, there's a lot of advantages. Here's another thing. Here's another thing. People going, well, I don't have Hulu. You got YouTube?
Starting point is 01:18:16 Because we're there, too. Yeah. Hulu a day early. YouTube for stragglers. And also you go, I don't have that. Well, we got Patreon. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:27 And they go, I don't have that. What do you want? Yeah, okay, Jake. We're trying to be inclusive and you're yelling at them. But I think you're right. It's just, look. Watch this show anywhere.
Starting point is 01:18:38 There's a lot of options. Who's early? Hulu's early. Audio day of, YouTube day of. Patreon, no ads. Here's the way to remember it. Hulu, new, so Nulu. It's not the way to remember.
Starting point is 01:18:56 They also have back catalog stuff. Okay, then that we call... Yeah, all right, it's falling apart. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful pod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, You can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions.
Starting point is 01:19:28 Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, Associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Fowler. The theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelicki. And if you'd like to see Gareth, who stand up on the road, go to Gareth Reynolds.com. Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment.
Starting point is 01:19:49 and purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a hate gum podcast. That was a hate gum podcast. Also, the Dallop's going to be on tour in early November, November 3rd through the 13th. We're going to be in Sydney, Melbourne a couple times, Brisbane, Canberra, Adelaide, and Perth. Come join us. Go to dolloppodcast.com.

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