We're Here to Help - 57: The Best 60 Seconds of Her Life

Episode Date: February 29, 2024

Jake and Gareth talk to callers whose neighbors have some smell and sound issues. Later, they follow up with the first caller from episode 22 “Advantage Jackie with Bert Kreischer.” Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail] the video episodes of the podcast at Youtube.com/@HeretoHelpPodCheck out our We’re Here to Help sweatshirts, hats, and tote bags at heretohelppod.com!If you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Follow the show on Instagram @HereToHelpPod and TikTok also at @HereToHelpPodAdvertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

and we are back jake here we go you know what I want to say, Garf? Go ahead, buddy. So I view this show, and you know this via the amount of texts I send, but we're experimenting. Yes. We are still new to this thing. Yes. We've released a little over 50, which is shocking. Crazy. But we experiment with doing more guests, experiment with doing less guests, doing two call callers for our guests doing one just mixing

it around yep and i think we're experimenting now going one guest on uh one uh on a monday yep and then just us on a thursday and so if any of you guys have any thoughts on that fucking write in and let us know let us know let us know. Yeah, I mean, well, that's where we... This is a choose-your-own-adventure show, Garf. That's how we started. I mean, we started just doing it, you and I. Yes. And we do enjoy doing those.

Agreed. So we want to make sure we get a good mix of that. I also think there's a reality we're going to do some Zooms for a little bit. Yep, that is a reality, too. Because guess what? The Zooms are fun, too. Zooms are also fun. No, we love being in the studio, but I think, yeah, schedule-wise, we're going to bank some of those.

But to those who write into our show, for those who give us their opinion, the truth of this, there is no big Hollywood studio behind us. We did not take a min guarantee, so we're not working for some big company. We're just making this show. It is very Wayne's World. Very much so. More than people would probably understand. And that is the fun of it. Yes.

So we are. And we're figuring it out. I mean, we're enjoying like tinkering and seeing what works. But I also will say, when I'll do shows, people will be like, my problem is like the show is separate from my life. And so people will DM me and be like, how do I is like the show is separate from my life and so people will dm me and be like how do i get on the show just if you want to get on the show just write to the email let me say this to camera if you want to get on the show go to gareth reynolds.com go to a stand up thing and after the show talk to him directly about how to get on the show with the advice that

i'm asking oh i'm so sorry but uh either way what matters is you're coming to my stand-up. But honestly, we really do appreciate everyone listening and enjoy a solo episode where it's just Jake and Jay. Oh, yeah. I'm excited about some solos.

I am too. We have a lot of fun. Yes. I think it feels, it's, you know, when you have company, you want to be nice to the company.

But I think when we don't have company, we're animals. We're nice to the guests and mean to each other. then there's no guest animals elbows on the table that's exactly right we're just using paper towel not serviettes you ever do that where like the second that people leave your house you just take i mean do you do this i take my pants off as someone who lives alone a lot my pants come off immediately one of my daughters said that uh

she said uh she called me out on she said the first thing you do when you get home is take your pants off. Yes, pants off. And I said, that's 100% not true. And then we got home, and it wasn't even a bit. In the living room, I took my pants off. Pants off immediately. Agreed. I think that is.

I also do throw shorts on, though, sometimes. I'll do that. But I also, I will walk around like Daffy Duck if I have to. But underpants and a t-shirt. I don't want to talk about it. I mean it seriously. Do you walk around your house with no underpants? Sometimes. I knowpants and a t-shirt. I don't want to talk about it. I mean it seriously. Do you walk around your house with no underpants?

Sometimes. I know you have a roommate, Luke. Well, when he's not there, well, listen, I'm not walking around bottomless when there's someone there. Gara. What?

Gara. No. Gara. No, but hotel life is bottomless. Hotel life is different, yes. So you'll just go naked and sit on top of a comforter.

Because I will say what's disgusting about hotels is I know they don't clean those comforters. Comforter goes off, and I'll never sit in that chair bottomless. I think that's fair. I'll even put a towel over the toilet seat when I use it. All right, everybody. We appreciate y'all listening. We appreciate y'all hanging out. Without further ado.

I need to know this. You said you'll put a towel over the- I did the ado. I don't think you're allowed to follow up after that. But you put it on top of what? Okay. Because you also have said on this pod, you eat food on the toilet bowl. No, not true that I leave the bathroom door open if I go to the bathroom.

I didn't say I eat on the toilet. Didn't he say he eats on the toilet, Kevin? No. You said you don't chew. No, no, no, no. You said sometimes you'll eat on the toilet. No, I didn't. You didn't?

No, I didn't. I said, I won't. You said, don't shit where you eat. And I said, I'll leave the door open so it's kind of one environment. Like, I don't shut the door when I go to the bathroom in the hotel. Yeah, that's what grossed you out. Yeah, that still grosses me out. By the way, that's what a lot of people reach out to me about that and say that I'm right.

Oh, really? No. Anyway, really? No. Anyway, without further ado. Hi. Hey, how are you? Hi. Hi, I'm doing great. How are y'all?

We're doing excellent. Can we get your name, please? Oh, yeah. It's Annabelle. Annabelle. And Annabelle, where are you calling from? I am calling from Phoenix right now. Phoenix. Where are you from originally? Nashville. Yeah, there it is. And Annabelle, what's your sign?

Oh, my God. I'm a Gemini. Twins are my favorite gladiator. Mine, too. Yeah, he was great. And Turbo. I like Turbo. Laser, come on. Laser was cool. Nitro. So did you see the documentary?

There's two and I saw both. Same. So Annabelle from Phoenix, originally from Nashville, who's a Gemini. Gareth and I both watched the American Gladiators documentaries and I got a little emotional at times. Oh, yeah. And I've always wanted to play that game where you're shooting the tennis ball. Oh, assault. Yes. Give me. But I've also been

afraid of doing the joust. Yeah, or the eliminator. Not doing the eliminator. No. Couldn't make it up that escalator going the wrong way. That'd be sad. Old fat boy not making it up. And Jake is still, 22 minutes, Jake's still trying to make it up there and he says his arm is stinging. You know what it would be? It would be the scene from Tenenbaums with Luke Wilson.

Jake has thrown his helmet in the crowd and saying, this thing's effing impossible. Jake is begging a fan to try for him, but we're letting him know that is not okay. They are not medically cleared to try this on his behalf. He just paid a grip to unplug the machine. Jake peeing in the mechanics underneath it to try to get it to malfunction. We're going to have to cut away. This is an absolute nightmare. He's trying to fight the other contestant, but he's still got enough gas in the tank to get away from Jake. Annabelle,

where are we at here? What's the problem? Chest is bleeding. That's strange. All right. All right. Let's get to it. Let's get to it. Okay. So I have a neighbor who really big loves holidays um i've i've been to their apartment before they live below me and they have these wallflowers like the ones you get from bath and body that are really strong i was in their apartment for like 10 minutes and i was like oh my god this is a lot of smoke and here's the issue is that from my balcony, when I go outside to drink my coffee in the morning, I'm bombarded by the smell. It is so fucking strong. Anna, I'm sorry, only because I don't know. So it's a Bed Bath & Beyond wallflower that has like a chemical kind of vanilla smell to it?

This one isn't vanilla. So wallflower is just a goofy word. It's a wall plug-in, and it's scentsy stuff. Okay, thank you. Now I get it. just a goofy word for it's a wall plug-in and it's okay thank you now i get it i get you so it's not just a candle it is strong as hell i understand yeah yeah it's like a candy apple disgusting yeah and it's pretty strong and i can smell it outside of our apartment i can smell it on my balcony. And I mean, I don't know how you really approach that kind of thing to be like, Hey, this smells so awful to me. Can you stop it? Well, I think you might be afraid of the alternative. A lot of people put a lot of

smell stuff in there because there's not a great smell coming out of that family. They're not doing it because things smell neutral. I'll say that. To have that be your immediate, to have that knowledge accessible so quickly it is true if you ever gone to like a woman's house or a friend's house and you're like there are so many goddamn candles and incense and you get close to the person and you go there's some poison coming out of you yeah and that poison follows you when you leave the room that poison's still there it's not a bad point that this might be your best case scenario. But wait, okay, so wait, you go out and you drink your coffee, and you are unable to enjoy it because it's that potent of a smell?

It's so strong, and also to the point that, like, I have an air purifier in my apartment. This is tough. And when I open that door, like, the numbers skyrocket because those, like, chemical smells are so strong. So, Annabelle, are you close with them with them at all you social with them at all i'm trying to figure out have you been inside their apartment yes no that's the kicker i have been i went down they're really big on their like holiday decor so i was like oh cool like show me what's up i'll come down we'll say

hey i was there for maybe 10 minutes and had a gnarly headache just from smelling all of it totally normal apartment just wallflowers everywhere i mean i don't know maybe you're right maybe it does smell like shit underneath all that i don't know maybe maybe it isn't normal you know like is there any what i'm trying to find is what's what's the hook yeah so there how do you how do you bridge it how do we bridge it and why do they do this i thought it was just that they really love like the festive stuff because it was like october november december um and the thing is to your point i am friendly with this person i have their number i could text them but how do you text them and say your air freshener is too strong can you

unplug them like that i mean i got way i got way what's up yeah you text and you say uh let's give this person a fake name okay stacy stacy you go like this hey stacy really uh embarrassing uh and weird email i hope it doesn't offend you uh but i just had an allergic reaction went to an allergist and they said, uh, cause I've been getting hives. I've been having a hard time breathing. And they asked if I have any of these wallflower things because they can trigger people's histamine release, blah, blah, blah.

And then go, I told him I didn't, but then I remembered that you guys do. So just asking, I can't remember if you do and i surely can't smell anything but if possible if you do uh could you please put them less i'm asking everybody in the building that's not bad garth i like it i'm gonna pinch some of it for mine okay um okay you're in an advantageous position being above and having it be a smell that gets you outside because if you were to do an anonymous note they're not going to think it's you so if did they like across because it's it's more of an across the hall problem i want to say absolutely yes but the thing is like it's not a huge apartment complex like there is only one neighbor adjacent to her and one across the street. So like

there are five options and I'd be 20% of that equation, you know? That's right. And anonymous is, anonymous is problematic because you're going to then create a whodunit. It's fine. As long as it ain't you. Well, if it's one out of four, when the other three go, it wasn't me. Then you all, all right, I'll be that, me either. Well, one of us is lying. That's what you do. Yeah. But you don't want to create a murder on the, yeah, I don't mind being that character.

I've got a question. Do you have a connection to the landlord? Yes. And you know what? What? We have bonded with this neighbor from time to time over. Oh my God. Did you have a package delivered?

Mine disappeared too. Or like, they won't fix the gate at our complex. We should say something to the boss. Really quick, Annabelleelle you know what i think would be really fun to do with you uh lay on our stomachs with our feet in the air and just gab yeah you got a good you got a great girl talk talking about the girl talk connection let's just fucking gab a little bit about what is going on in this building because here's how i you respond to each pitch even the bad ones with yeah i know and it feels like we're on to something yeah because if i said like i don't know jeremy's cool but he's also like a little weird i know yeah he is

like i like him at times but then a lot of times he's a little weird what's going on with you right so keep going so the landlord you have a link with the landlord yes but don't change your vibe this is what she does she ships we do we do have a link with them yeah i'll stick with that however the landlord does dumb shit all the time and we agree with our neighbor that's some dumb shit they just did so it's but yeah so it needs to come from you is kind of what you're saying if it's going to come from anyone. Yes, I guess so.

But the thing is like sending a text to me, like, I don't know. I liked the allergy pitch. I literally did have allergy panels on this year and I'm just allergic to dust, which is just so annoying. But you, but you have gone down the road.

So you have a doctor's name. You could be specific and you could send the email to everybody in the building. And you could say like, Hey y'all email to everybody in the building and you could say like hey y'all it's annabelle uh crazy news and annoying news but i'm allergic to these wallflowers uh again you guys are all more than welcome to say like screw off girl but if you're willing i like to help if any of you guys could reduce or take them off, it would mean a lot to me because they are kicking my butt. I like that.

It's honest. Go, go. I've been yes-anding everything. I've been with all of it to this point. But my thing is, I don't have everyone's email. I don't have a phone book. It's not the 90s anymore, Jake. You're not wrong, Annabelle.

I wish it was. By the way, phone books didn't have emails, just to be clear. Yeah, I'm with you. You want the psycho pitch, Annabelle. I wish it was. By the way, phone books didn't have emails, just to be clear. Yeah, I'm with you. You want the psycho pitch, Annabelle? Please, do it. Let's party. Okay, how often have you gone into this person's place? Once.

Once that I walked around and chatted for maybe 10 minutes or so, and then one other time to borrow a cup of sugar. Okay, wow, that is awesome very very southern um and when they give you a cup of sugar if someone showed up to my house for a cup of sugar i'd be like what are you out of your mind this is crazy you'd be like let me go to my shed yeah i'd be like let me move the guns and get my sugar back um you you know the wallflower they have i don't know what is, but I know for certain that's what the scent, like it's coming from there. Okay, so then we're talking, this is a two-tripper. It's a two-tripper.

You got to get down there twice. You got to get down there once for some sugar. But while you're down there, you're going to have to get into the place or you're going to have to get an idea of what this wallflower looks like. Then you're going to have to order a wallflower. You're going to have to get it. Like Jake's face is already. No, I honestly don't know Then you're going to have to order a wallflower. You're going to have to get it. Jake's face is already... No, I honestly don't know where you're going. Get the scent out of the wallflower that you get and go in there

and replace the one closest to the door that you think is giving you the funk. It's a lot. It's insane. It's a lot. It's very... It's really talented Mr. Ripley stuff. Annabelle, what did you think of that is that something you might do because if so we can pitch on that but you're talking about

essentially about breaking and entering and doing a switch no no no no we're talking about a sitcom i mean it's not outlandish that's not the hardest thing ever um we're lacking holidays now though because holidays were the last reason i like actually in. I was like, wow, give me a tour, you know? Right. Why don't we take Jake's pitch and let's just, what if we just, I mean, this is the straightforward route. It's the hardest route because it's the most honest route. But is Annabelle, is that something you would want to do? Is straightforward.

Where are you at with that? Go to them and be like, look, here's the deal. I kind of don't want to be straightforward. That's why I came to y'all because I'm like, I have their number. I could text them and say, hey, that's really strong. But that just, of don't want to be straightforward that's why i came to y'all because i'm like i have their number i could text them and say hey that's really strong but that just i don't know it feels nitpicky okay here's what you do i got one okay all right you go over with a cup of coffee and a little bit frantic and you're in like a sweat outfit and you go like stacy girl we need to talk and goes what you go i just heard this i just saw the news and these things are cancerous but then she looks it up you know what i love about where we're at this is what i love about this because she doesn't want straight i know these are kind

of my favorite calls yeah the ones where you and I are like, it's like deadline time. We're smoking cigarettes. We got stubble and we're just trying to close the deal. Well, we got the newspaper goes out at five. We don't have a story. So here's what I'm thinking, Annabelle. You say this. Annabelle, you say this. One of your best friends from college

works for the government. Okay. We got deadlines. We're going to conspiracy? Okay. We got deadlines. We're going to conspiracy? No, she knows you. You're not a wacko. Steve Berg can fill this role. Yeah.

So basically, so she knows you, right? Apple cinnamon. So you just say, listen, I don't want to go deep on this because I know how it looks and I know how you're going to judge me. I'm just telling you and you go again i don't have a dog in this race but my best friend from college does work part with this cia and blah blah blah and he goes there are products that the government knows are cancerous

such as diet coke such as doctors used to recommend cigarettes. And these big companies have their hands in the government and the lobbyists, and the real message isn't going to get out. And we were having a talk. I do not talk about this with people because everybody's so triggered. But one of the things that they mentioned was that these things are putting the chemicals in the air that are quite literally giving you chemicals and filling your lungs. And like certain caffeines and Starbucks, you're getting addicted to it. So you're now addicted to the thing that's killing you. Again, it's not Jake.

I'm just what I want to walk out with a sale as much as you do. I'm going to be the neighbor. OK. OK. All right. Door shut. Holy shit. We got to relax our upstairs neighbors out of our mind. walk out with a sale as much as you do i'm gonna be the neighbor okay okay all right door shut holy shit we gotta relax our upstairs neighbors out of her mind maybe they'll move annabelle is there anything in this zone you like i i kind of do i like this a little bit better because i i didn't want to go with just the normal text approach i think it's a little bit more fun in

this scenario for me to kind of like blame it on something else like oh my god isn't this crazy that this could be giving us cancer i just stopped using mine too and you go in there and you go like this i had to throw them out because i love them here's another pitch okay and this one knuckleball time yeah knuckleball but i think i could throw a strike here all right this is an old classic called make a move smoke them out smoke them out and what you do they live beneath you you ever heard of an elephant walk boom boom boom music smells going down all of a sudden you start barbecuing and there's a fan that pushes the smoke down you start playing music at weird times and they say like hey could you be a little bit quieter

and you go no gracias or while we're at the negotiating table i have a complaint too yeah i'll stop the rage against the machine after 11 p.m but i don't want it to smell like apples in february so that is that is the make a move aka smoke them out, aka fire with fire aka 70s Bush. I wanted fire with fire. This is good. Trying to get the paper up on fire. It's a great callback for those who remember. For those who don't, they're like, is Jake okay? No, he's not. So Annabelle, keep going because you seem to be liking this yeah is this the zone my gemini twin likes yeah

i want to have some fun with this um i definitely do that i have two dogs okay so like we're already trying to keep them from being too noisy half the time anyway oh here's another thing you do with the dogs every shit you keep in an open bag on your porch oh god so that they finally say the smell of dog shit is coming into our apartment and you go like this well i had to do it because the smell of your fucking chemicals is worse than dog shit in the mind i would rather smell animal dump than those chemicals and they go you're out of your mind and you go i am and you think this is bad wait until january unless you get those fucking wallflowers off your wall i i think it's good i think it's good i like let the let the dogs go right i mean i think music loud uh

you're gonna become a worse neighbor so that when the person comes to negotiate with you you have a little bit of leverage you know they call it there's a trick they call in editing. It's called the hairy armpit. And that is when you're about to show your thing to your bosses, you leave in a shot of a hairy armpit so that their notes are, this thing is good. Get rid of the hairy armpit. And you go, I love the hairy armpit. And they go, it's got to go.

And you're going, okay, the okay the armpit goes working with you guys is brutal so you could do the old hairy armpit and that is make so much that you do bad so that they come to you and say can we have a conversation because we don't want to move we just feel like the smells the sounds and the noise coming from a valve are a lot and you go first of all i'm so sorry uh i didn't realize i was doing that and they go is there any way we can get it to be quiet and then you go well here's something crazy can i have a request too and they'll go anything and you go do you know those wallflowers they're a bit much and they go you're willing to quiet down stop with your music your dog, take the dog shit off the porch.

And all we have to do is take our wallflowers out and let our natural disgusting bodies fill our apartment. And you go, or candles. I'm okay with candles. Yeah, or one wallflower, not six. Do we have a deal? If they say yes, then they've won the negotiation. I think he's right. Another thing you could add into the mix is working out at home,

even if you're faking it. That sort of jumping above. I don't want to do that. Yeah. I don't like that. I don't want to work out. Fake workouts. Fake workouts.

Fake workouts. All you got to do is stomp the ground and go, ha, ha, ha. You can be eating those chakotis, just sitting. Yes. Ketos, what are they called? I don't know. Drink some beer and just pound your floor. Where are you at with this annabelle because look we don't like to pitch unless it's real life uh so is this is this really what you're gonna do i'm leaning more

towards dog shit on the porch okay i i that's very easy to do okay because here's what we're gonna say annabelle really fast just so you know where we're at this episode's not going to air unless we get proof that it's happening yeah because we record a lot of these but we don't air if they just turn into jokes uh it's not kind of worth it but if you're really doing this we are on your team and we're going to try to help you so where are you at easy done and done okay and then what else are you going to do? You're going to do the dog shit technique. Yeah. I think I got to clear it with my partner first to be like, hey, do we want to smell shit during morning coffee or not?

Is it worth it? If it's not worth it, then I think the like conspiracy, I'm now the crazy neighbor. Like we've got to get rid of these chemical smells. I think that one is more fun than texting the person to agree so annabelle let's do something with you for a second uh will you practice and say to us be that conspiracy person and let's hear your pitch okay oh my god too much pressure okay but not pressure at all you're allowed to be medium here this is the rough draft okay and jake okay i'll be the neighbor okay all right and um i'll be the radio

playing in the neighbor's place that you'll turn off once she comes out unplugged hold on let's start and it's looking like it's gonna be like that for the next six to seven months oh my god the people are worried about some of these things coming back. Oh, hey, hey, Stacy. Hey. Hey, girl. What's up, girl? Talk about the girl talking.

What's up? What's up, girl? What's happening? Hey, I'm Kathy. I'm staying with her for a little while. Get the fuck out of here. All right. I just want to get involved.

Okay. Listen, I heard this, and I know I'm going to sound crazy, but I just saw this article, and I'm already blanking. Okay, I'll forward you the article and tell me your thoughts. Good to see you. You made a mistake. There's no article. You can never lie and say I have proof. It's the con man's game.

You can never go, I have hard evidence of what I'm saying, but I'm telling you this is great. And they go, where is it? And you go, up my butt and around the corner. This is bullshit. Let's go from the top. From the top. But guess what? We're in a rough draft.

So start with the radio. People are always wondering, how do you dance that well? Well, it's a two-part system where you just order it. 1-888-612-4211. How to dance at home on TV. That's right, Gil Buquette. Hey, girl, what's up? Do you need sugar? We have a bunch of it. I'm Kathy. I'm staying with her.

Get the fuck out of here. Okay. Okay. Hey, this is the craziest thing. I'm feeling paranoid, but I was just watching the news this week and I was hearing about these like recalls and it's like cancerous chemicals that can come from these like air fresheners. I used to use these like

wallflowers and I stopped using them. Do you ever use those? Obviously they're in every room of this house. You're talking about these? Oh my God. I literally just got rid of those. They're even in the guest room, girl. I just want to say what's up again. I'm going to go back to the guest room. Sorry, that's my... Kathy. That's Kathy. She's not right mentally. I'm pretty paranoid that these are...

I'm sorry, honey. What are you saying? That these are bad? I've heard they have the potential to cause cancer, but at the very least right now, I'm getting like super sick. I feel awful. So I like stopped using them so I could feel better

because it just smells... It's just killing me. Girl, you should. All right. Great to see you. Any of you want a lemonade? So here's what I got out of that, Annabelle. You're wacky.

Yeah. And you don't want to use wallflowers in your. All right. Well, you know what you're doing. You're you're listen. You be you be her. OK, I'm Annabelle. And are you? Yes. OK, I'll you're listen you be you be her okay i'm annabelle and are you

yes okay i'll be yes i'll be stacy annabelle let us show you how real psychopaths do stuff you might have been a little red leather red leather okay and then can we start annabelle will you be the radio interesting twist yeah okay and action gil b Buchanan here, letting you know about the latest technology in air fresheners. On the radio? That's crazy. I love air fresheners. Keep going, radio. Go on. Radio stories, interesting. Call in today and get your rebate on these. radio stories interesting call in today and get your rebate on these um let's go from the top radio uh radio i would maybe make the radio not the air freshener whenever you're ready annabelle

radio on go annabelle hey gil bucan here calling to tell you about the latest chicago style popcorn promoted by we're here to help it's a crazy story story to have on the news. Oh, hey, let me turn this on. Hey. Hey, we're in my house. Right. I'll turn it down. Can we start over? All right, from the top.

Here we go. And radio. I think the radio's sorted. I think the signal isn't working. I think it just turned off. Hey, Stace. What a crazy, this is like War of the Worlds. Stace.

Let me turn that off. That was very meta. Yeah. Hello. What's happening? Hey, what's going on? Annabelle. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, from above. We know each other i know how are you thank you so much for the sugar oh no problem i

had a ton of it yeah and i had a great time last uh holiday party oh yeah that was great thanks for swinging by and liking the decoration yeah so i'm kind of doing now i'm kind of going with a new year theme here a little bit really cool past new year yeah but still i'm celebrating yeah no that's weird jet don't judge hey girl hey girl go ahead what's up so i've been saying to every i've been going to everybody in the building and saying this and i am there's four of us what are you the police no i wouldn't chill out it's everything i'm gonna say i'd be a math mathematician you need to throw the b word around and I don't want to be in your butt. Keep going. What's going on?

I can say that because I'm a female to a female. You're my bitch. I don't think you're allowed to say that. That's like some... Go ahead. What did you come over here for? To fuck you up. What's going on?

Cut. From the top. Jake. I got to say, Stacey was pissing me off. I would fight fire with fire. She's, don't say this. Don't say this. You're in her house. Say what the fuck you want. Fuck off, Stacey. All right, here we I would fight fire with fire there. She's, don't say this. Don't say this. You're in her house.

Annabelle, say what the fuck you want. Fuck off, Stacey. All right, here we go. Ready? Yes. Hi. Hey, what's going on? My radio broke.

What's going on? So I'm kind of doing this, and it's a little bit weird, but I'm going to everybody in the building and saying this, so I just need to get it off my chest because I care about you guys, and I'm telling all my friends. Okay. One of my dearest friends from college has a job in the... Where'd you go to college? Annabelle, where'd you go to college?

I went to two of them. I went to one in Chicago, though. Which one? Moody. So I went to Moody. What a crazy name for a place. Go ahead. So anyway, one of my friends from college ended up working in the CIA.

And they're the best. They're the total best. But we have like these like great big talks where we all get like pissed at the government and so do they. Okay. But they just told me about this new thing that's going on as like a heads up. Okay. And that was, there's going to be a thing in like 18 months or less where these things

start getting banned. What does? Those things on your wall. Wallflowers from BBB? Yes. I've got like three in mine. I love them. I love them. Those, a certain type of candle is going to go from BBB like because it's releasing a chemical

into the air that takes away all the smell but that chemical, they're proven to be cancerous and right now their lobbyists are really fighting it but the smells that are going in are like really bad so i'm just saying as a heads up i would find an all-natural one and i know i sound like a fucking hippie weirdo but those are going to be banned soon and there's going to be big lawsuits and it's going to get really ugly this is your friend from moody yeah okay okay really you would say that or you would go i'll throw these out here's what i

thought yeah have an alternative okay if you showed up with an alternative too and you're like i got you this because i think this is like safer that would that's interesting so annabelle what would you say about buying a few like ones from whole you can tolerate oh absolutely and then saying the reason you're doing it is because of then saying the reason you're doing it is because of this or the reason you're doing it is because of the allergies. One of the, yes. I like that.

I do too. Okay. And about what do you think about buying, here's what they're going to cost you. 40 buck stops. Yep. And you go over there and you go, hey, my allergist, I did this thing.

Yeah. I know that you like these. Yep. And so I'm just asking you to replace them with these. And then guess what? They will not buy the old ones again because that's an asshole move i like it right and then what do you think of that what do you think yeah no i i like that kevin print it print

the paper jesus christ what a deadline we hit it it's 450 Let's go to the bar. We got a story. Is it right? Who gives a fuck? It doesn't matter. So what do you think? It's a front page. That's what matters, baby. What do you think about doing this as a real movie, Annabelle?

And that is doing the work, finding the stuff, buying them, going there, and saying the allergist and blah, blah, blah. But you didn't want to just say that. So would they mind switching and trying to get a similar scent? I'll help you. Yes. Okay. I like it.

And then if it goes south and I can still smell the gross stuff that's already in the air right now, then we go for fire. Then we go 70s bush. Yep. Yep. We would encourage everyone to listen to our back catalog. But do you think that makes sense? No, absolutely.

Yeah. No, I mean, you sense? No, absolutely. Yeah. No, I mean, you already felt Southern hospitality kind of vibe going down to my neighbor, giving them a candle. That's like easy. I can't. Well, I wouldn't just do a candle. I want to plug in. I want a wall plug in.

Go find yourself an organic. Is there any plug-in that's going to be all natural? Well, maybe if it's not even all natural, just something that you can tolerate. We don't have to start looking. I got to take this. This is whole food. Okay, no, I'll take my asshole food. Yeah, and also get on, you know.

Look online. You look online. If you can't find it, then the candles are right, but you're leaning in with that. And then if they don't do it and the smells are intense, then fucking let's rock. Dog shit. Dog shit. Yeah. Will you follow up with us after?

You have to. Yeah. Any call over 25 minutes, you have to follow up with us. Yes. Absolutely. I will. Yeah. Annabelle, we appreciate it.

Get yourself out of the mud here. You're going to win. Yep. All right. Amazing. Thank you all. Thank you, Annabelle. All right.

Bye. Great. Amazing. Thank you all. Thank you, Annabelle. Bye. Today's episode is brought to you by Babbel. That's right, Jake. Listen, you know what Babbel is, right? Science-backed language learning app that actually works, which I find to be very important. Science-backed, Jake.

Listen, don't bother paying hundreds of dollars for a private tutor. They come over, they're like asking for snacks, they're being annoying, or even waste hours on apps that don't really help. We're here to help, and Babbel is going to help you. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real-life situations. So, Jake, for instance,

if you want to learn, I started relearning French through babble a little bit yes because i used to know french but then i don't know french uh but it's still there you know what i like about it is that it's got a speech recognition technology yep because the problem with learning a new language is if you sound like you're from another country yes if it can actually help with the accent yes that's a big ass and applicable to situations you're going to find yourself in like when i think back to taking french it was just like so much it was like i'm never going to do that like how do you order food how do you get a drink how do you ask for directions but so babble's great now listen

listen everybody should we bring him in right one, one quick pause. Should we bring in the closer? Studies from Yale, this is interesting, Michigan State University and others, prove that Babbel is better. So one study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college. So if that's true, which Yale's no joke, it's just putting schooling in a different light. Yes. joke it's just putting schooling in a a different light yes you spend 15 hours let's say you didn't go to college and you always feel like well i don't know i didn't go to college 15 hours you just did a semester yeah that's wild yes that's a wild study so speaking of language should we

bring in the closer or should i do it closer all right hold on let's get him kevin door's open oh you meant gill yeah i meant kevin what kevin was gonna do it no i thought we were talking about the closer the we were he parked in front of all our cars so might as well we can't leave well what's what's the problem go ahead so that old jalopy is Gil's? Yes. And you can turn it off, I guess. No, keep it running. It's bad for something. A lot of smoke. I'm pausing a serious accent. Now listen, here's a special limited time deal for our listeners.

Right now, get 55% off your Babbel subscription. But only for our listeners. This isn't for people who don't listen, like Laura from one of the calls earlier. These are standalone? At Babbel.com slash hth. Jake, let me finish. Get 55% off babbel.com slash hth. Spelled

b-a-b-b-e-l dot com slash h-t-h. We're going to want you to babble. We want you to babble. I'll tell you what, I don't want to babble your ear off. I got to go back to the jalopy. Rules and restrictions. This episode back to the jalopy rules and restrictions this episode is brought to you by zocdoc zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in network doctors near you

and instantly book appointments with them online gar Garth, what does that mean to you? Well, it means a lot because as you know, my mother was in town for a while. She had a hip replacement and it was crazy. It was a crazy situation. And there were so many times, so many things like complications were popping up. And there were multiple times where we wanted to find a doctor appointment quickly, somewhere close. You use Z yeah you would use zocdoc because it's just so much harder if you're just like you know like using search engines to try to find someone and then you call do they take your insurance the problem has it's all there for all the problem with also just searching it is all the ads pop up yes and what i like i actually use zocdoc since we started

doing it i do like that it keeps it really clean and you could put all your information in yeah did you use zocdoc for your knee i did use zocdoc for my knee which i am going to get an mri on but we don't think it's a tear that's the good news but i am going to get an mri the doctor report back it's just an old man's knee. It's actually pretty much what it sounded like. That's what a doctor said to me about my hips. I'm getting to the point where it's sad when doctors are just like, yeah, you're just the... He goes, I've had a doctor who looked at my body and then went like this.

Well, you're mid-40s, yeah? Ugh, what a jerk. Well, that guy's hopefully not on ZocDoc. But again, it really does. It filters specifically for doctors that take your insurance located near you. Treat basically. And again, you can get an appointment quickly. You can also get it same day.

That's absolutely right, Jake, if you're lucky. That's right. Gil Buchanan, ones and twos, 68 balmy. Don't worry about it. That's right. I've been kept in the closet for a while on this show, but I'm back for the ads. Good to see you, brother. You never, literally never left.

Wherever the best time in the world. Go to ZocDoc.com slash HTH and download the ZocDoc app for free. Did you hear how much that costs you? Free. Free, that's right. And then find and book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash H-T-H.

ZocDoc.com slash H-T-H. Hi. Hi, how are you? Good, how are you? Good. Can we get your name, please? Yes, this is Dana. Dana?

And where are you calling from, Dana? Charleston, South Carolina. South Carolina. Great. And can we get your uh sign please dana i'm an aries an aries and what does that mean to you it it means i'm fiery apparently so i don't know if i agree with that but sometimes i'm i'm from philly too so dana from south carolina who's in Aries who is not fiery,

what can we help you with today? Well, speaking of people that are fiery, so I live in an apartment complex, and I've got two dogs. It's just me and the two dogs. But above me is either the most sexual couple of all time or a guy that's getting laid three times a day. And it is the loudest, most animalistic sex that you've ever heard in your life. Dana, without putting you in an uncomfortable spot, could you do an impression of the sound a little bit?

This is the right question. Just so we know how egregious the sounds are. And if you're a little uncomfortable, it might make it better, too. And if it's too uncomfortable, I can try. Let's not do that. Which will make it way worse for Jake. Let's live in the Dana zone. Okay.

So will you walk us through a little bit of what you're hearing? So I don't know if it's the, and they're going to hear me, but we'll see for their medicine, I guess. It's payback time. Fuck them. For the man, it is like a gorilla. And it's like four pumps of like, and it's like four of those. Great. Great commitment, Dana. We appreciate you. Okay. And how about the lady? pumps of like and it's like four of those great great commitment

Dana we appreciate you okay and how about the lady so you got a silverback on you got a silverback as one of them and what is this woman this is I can tell she's faking it so it probably sounds like like

10 of those you can tell she's faking it I'm a 32 year old woman i know she's faking it by the way you're in aries honey by the way it's really nice for guys like jake and i to hear that those uh sounds are not achievable we thought it was on us so there's no way it's real every single time but if it's that consistent we're thinking this is probably a couple. Yeah. I think so. I don't know.

I've never, like, I can't, like, scout them out. But we understand. But it's the same male voice and it's the same female voice. I hate when dudes make those sounds. It's just, to me, I'm like, you don't have to do that. Yeah. Or you don't have to do that. Well, you know what I mean? I'm just like. Hey, when this silverback's in the sack. Oh, Jesus Christ. to me i'm like you don't have to do that yeah like it's like you don't have to do that well

you know what i mean i'm just like hey when this silver backs in the sack jesus christ get a bucket i'm gonna sick i'm gonna sick and dana i'll tell you the sounds of the lady and it ain't faking no here's the sounds of the lady hey hey keep it down i'm trying to finish jake stop jake no okay quiet my ears not in my ears jake uh so are you sure it's not I'm trying to finish. Jake, stop. Jake, no. Jake, quiet. My ears. Not in my ears, Jake. So are you sure it's not video from up above and it's not some like 19-year-old geek? Yeah, I can hear like the bed rattling or I don't know, some sexual apparatus swing

something. I don't know. You're pitching swings. And have you ever seen them? I don't know okay and swings and have you ever seen them i i don't know so obviously i live on the first floor there on the second floor and every time i take the dogs out for a walk if i see someone coming down i can't tell which ones they are but i always try and figure out like if i see a couple or something or i see well first thing that i would first thing first thing that i would suggest because i'll you what, it doesn't even have to

look like a gorilla. It could be a little 85-pounder. It just sounds like it. That's right, yeah. So the first thing I would say is, I think what we need you to do, Dana, is find a way to knock on the door. Well, is the problem here, Dana, just to be clear, the problem is how do you stop the noise?

Oh, I thought it was a different one. How do I join? I'm so sorry, dear. I'm all turned around. It was the one. How do I join? I'm so sorry, dear. I'm all turned around. It was the silverback sounds that got me. I'm so sorry. What's the question? Jake, I think Jake had a call at his head just now.

I'm really embarrassed. I'm really embarrassed. So what was the question? The advice you need is in the realm of trying to get it to stop, right? Not the Jake realm. So I wouldn't knock on the door. Yeah. Don't slide the

resume under there that's what i'm saying is the question what what is the question dana yeah so it makes me uncomfortable like i go to bed pretty early so it's not like i've got the tv on and i can just like blast my volume until it stops like i'm asleep it's waking the dogs they're getting up running around and there's children all over our apartment complex like it makes me so uncomfortable knowing like my neighbors have these like five-year-old kids and that's going on above us like this is what's good it's a big it's a big building it's about a 20 unit um it's not really it's only two floors jake's the best the fact that jake's an eight unit answered how many units are in your building with such confidence. It's a 20-uniter.

Come on, Gareth. What are you, stupid? So we got two floors. We got about six units. He's not. Yeah, he's totally spot on. Well, he said 20 before, so he's spot on after three guesses. Well, I didn't know it was two floors.

I thought we were four floors. Okay, so about six units is what we're talking? Seven if you include the guys' package? And which one? Which of these apartments, are these all two bedrooms? Are we talking about studios? Yeah. I'm in a one bedroom.

I'm guessing above me is the same as them. Okay. So they're in a one bedroom above the bedroom area. They're probably built similarly. They're in the bed at night. You go to bed early. We're guessing about 915 to 10 and at about 10, 1030, the silverback jumps out of the tree and jumps on that poor woman who's faking it. Is this where we're guessing about 9 15 to 10 and at about 10 10 30 the silverback jumps out of the tree and jumps on that poor woman who's faking it is this where we're at

it's not just at night though like saturday morning midday i've had to mute work calls because i can hear it like it's all the time can we just i'm so jealous yeah can we just take a minute to just say how great i mean the idea that someone has to mute zooms because of your fucking it's really awesome the idea that someone's calling a podcast advice show because your wife's sounds are so loud you put the guy put you up to this just to brag about i feel like you're the woman yeah okay we get it okay so how do you stop this couple from loud screwing and not kill their mojo like no one's happier than me that they're getting some like i just want to be a part of it agreed i've been in this position on the road in hotels before where i've heard uh a man giving a woman the business

on a level where i didn't know it was possible and uh like the sounds where i'm like gee and the length right the amount of time where i'm going, come on, this isn't real life. Stop it. It's not real. He's got an appendage attached or something. That's when we did our first live show and I was there in a room right next to you, man. And I told him afterwards, Dana, I said, hey, that was just an appetizer.

Yeah, and literally, he was only having pizza. Okay, so... These chicken wings are great jake jesus christ dip them in the sauce he's like sorry i think he got a little nuts last night he just i'm sorry i used my bedspread as a napkin i'm sorry brother i got a 30 piece oh sorry about last night man i barely remember i remember the first six wings the last 24 aren't I gotta tell you brother shit got crazy man I had a bottle of Jack and like 60 chicken wings You have a mozzarella stick on your lip

I know I fucked the hell out of it Okay so have you tried anything Have you tried anything Are there other people in the building who are sharing this issue What have we done to solve the problem Called you guys Smart that'll do it so we're gonna tell you this dana we know that you're smart we know you have good instincts you've you've showed us nothing but you're a 10 out of 10 and so now it's our job to help you out of this mess you got anything yeah what do you got so

here's you're you're in in two roads you can go down. One, I agree with you. You don't want to kill their mojo and you don't want to shame them, but you do want it to stop. So one thing you could do is you could slip a note under their door that just says, FYI, thin walls. We all hear your fucking constantly. If this is a weird kink, God bless but it is a lot p.s i do believe

she's faking i mean my pitch my pitch was right along those lines there's an advantage there being a lot of units there right uh i like jake's wording a lot um i i think i would say that she's faking for note two. Um, or Gareth, what if the note just says PS she's faking? I, I don't hate it, but what we're trying to do right now is slow him down. I don't know if it will. It might, it might make him, it might make him try hard. Yeah. He's proven you wrong. He's going to bang the shit out of her.

Right. But then he's thinking while it's happening, knows she because then when she's like he's gonna go quiet down it sounds fake i i i would listen i would imagine this they know that they're loud fuckers i mean i would imagine they like it about themselves yes i i in my apartment once i had someone who i was sure was faking and to me i was going like jesus christ come on i have neighbor tone it down a little bit like you know and so i think i if i were you i would go that route i i would do like the anonymous letter and just see if it stops if it doesn't stop we could start escalating the other way the other thing that you could do uh is when they start, have music blasting up that is rhythmically really different to what they're doing.

So whatever we could think of as the least sexy music, you know what you could do? You could do the, I heard this on a different podcast, Heavyweight, when they were talking about what song would you play at your funeral? But you could blast, and I had to give credit for him but you could blast the six flag song oh wow i like that because if you're getting into it and you're doing you're the silverback and she's in and whatever weird game you're playing is happening and it's oh and he thinks he's in

a fucking porno and she thinks she's in a porno and they think they're so hot and then they hear and they go what what about what about verner hosog uh narrating the end of grizzly man just on a loop just him talking when the man at this point yeah the good grades the bear is eating the man's brain issue with that even though i like it is all they would hear is yeah so we're trying to get them off their game. Oh, they're getting them off. Dana, what is the least sexy? If you were with a guy or a woman, whatever you're into, and you were about to hook up and they played music, is there a song or a type of music that you would say I pass?

That's a really good question. I got a couple. Macarena, Mambo No.bo number five i mean these are easy ones no i can get chumbawamba i could get busy with those you could really i actually could too especially chumbawamba yeah yeah chumbawamba while i'm on top of a woman all she's thinking is fucking chumbawamba's on top of me jake when jake begs they call him Chumbawamba. My body makes the sound of Chumbawamba. Gross. No, it's called tub thumping.

Okay. So, Dana, is there music that to you is just as unsexy as it gets? Like, I hate Ohio State. Maybe their fight song. That's really all I can think of. That's interesting. That's great. I think we start with the note. Okay. When we go go to the note world dana what's your first thought on that

i think i really like the music route piece but they're gonna know like which unit it is but then again like if they have no shame why should i i agree i think that's okay though i think because of their they're invading your auditory space, you're allowed to do that to them. What about circus music? What about if we, right now, send a message on this podcast that she can play? Oh, my God. So that she's playing on loop? Yes.

Okay. You know what we could do? We could cheer them on sexually so that they're hearing people commentating on their sex. Yes. Would you play this? We can do a play-by-play like we're sports commentators. Yes.

We're trying to get it to wrap up. What do you think? A hundred percent. Because if the walls are thin enough and you play it loud enough, they could hear. We can be very specific. Okay. We're going to give it a go. Let us know what you think we're gonna keep it relatively

short what do you say like a minute yeah a minute you play it on a loop okay dana does that sound right yes if you nail it are you gonna do it and film the experience of course so we're gonna walk through the night before we kind of start so you're in bed you then start to hear the thumping of a silverback well yeah or the bed moving shaved gorilla and you go hounding a mattress and we go here we go and at that point it's the beginning stages of the night and you go over and you go i'm doing it and you plug in your phone you You got your Bluetooth to your speaker. You got your Sonos going on. It's all facing up.

Is this correct? Yep. And then the sex is starting to pick up speed. But they don't go zero to 100, do they? If they do, I'm so jealous of this fucking guy. I'm going to come see you. Sometimes on the night. Okay.

She said yes? Yes, sometimes at night. How? I mean, he's trying. I don't know. Maybe he's trying to be respectful. He's trying to finish it. This guy might, listen. We might be dealing, he's I don't know. Maybe he's trying to be respectful. He's trying to finish it. This guy might listen. We might be dealing

with like a rare breed up there. But what we got to do is I think we can start supportive. Right. Way to go. Awesome. Sounds like it's a lot of fun. All right. Getting a little redundant now. You know, it's late at night. What if we did it as Jerry and Gil? You got it, buddy. Let's fucking roll. All right.

Here we go. Because both these guys used to announce games legally. It also takes us out. Never mind All right, here we go. Because both these guys used to announce games. Legally, it also takes us out. Never mind. Okay, here we go. Ready? Ready. All right, Jerry. It sounds like they're getting at it again.

Unbelievable. Well, I got to tell you, Gilly, this is a very exciting night for you and me because we get to witness greatness. And again, they are banging. What is this? The second or the third time today? Well, you know, I'm looking here at the numbers, and we are averaging a three-times-a-week experience. They lead the complex in screwing,

and you can hear right now the rhythm is picking up, and so are the sounds. What are we dealing with up there, Jerry? You think it's a silverback gorilla? This guy's really moaning and groaning. Well, I'll tell you what I'm definitely hearing. I'm hearing a grown-ass man do what grown-ass men do. And I'm also going to say for the ladies out there, she seems to be enjoying this sex.

Am I wrong, Dylan? You're not wrong, but I wonder how much of her, this is Meryl streeping it because she's really going for it. Now, listen to the sounds coming out of both of them. Isn't it a little much? I mean, good Lord. It's almost 10 p.m. I got to say, it's a lot of fun. And he's going a little bit faster and he's going a little bit faster.

He's picking it up and listen to him go. Oh, watch out for her. She might finish. She might finish. He's good. Go. Wait a second, Gilly. He's pushing. He's pushing. Oh my god. I haven't seen screwing like this since the 77 Olympics. I gotta say, Gilly, I just gotta say

I don't believe her. These aren't natural sounds. I've heard from a lot of women in their 30s, and this is not the sounds that a woman makes when she's really enjoying it. Gilly, she is a faker, and I'm not a proud to say it. I don't agree with you anymore, Jerry. I feel like she's putting on a performance. But either way, can we just say it's a little late?

Maybe it's time they wrap it up. Wrap it up. Good Lord, this can't go on for 20 minutes. Guys, this is way, way, way into overtime, and we have got to end this night. I got to get home to my lovely girlfriend who just recently left her husband. Ladies and gentlemen, I got to get home to the love of my life, Miss Alice Buchanan. You're making it very personal, and I don't think we need to take it there. What we need to do is we need to encourage at this point, pillows over mouths.

Put some pillows over mouths. These noises are unbelievable. And if you're gonna continue to fuck this loud, you've got to have consideration for your neighbors. Hold on. I'm sensing them slowing down to listen. This finish is brought to you by Barbasol. Barbasol, the number one name in shaving

cream. If you're gonna have a quick shave, use Barbasol. And it's speeding back up. Jesus Lord, what is happening up there? Oh, here we go, Gilly. We're getting towards the end. I think we're all going to finish. And we are getting towards the end, and she's definitely faking. She's definitely faking.

Stop making the noise. Put in a hot pocket. This goose is cooked. What do you think? Guys, that was going to be the best 60 seconds of her life you know i gotta say i think if you play that loud enough and they hear that it's not murmurs but it's dialogue if i'm having sex takes you out of the zone a hundred. 100%. And then you listen and you go, what the fuck? Yes.

Are those two old school radio guys commenting on our sex? And then he goes, are you faking? And then they go, what is this? Must be like a YouTube video. It's brought to you by what? Barbasol. But I'll tell you what. All of that's doing is making them go are we fucking too loud i think

that's the goal here the goal so the goal is that we're having we're poking a little bit of fun yes it doesn't sound like your voice but i if you if you're good with it the next time it starts blast it and film yourself blasting it and let's see if it changes anything going on and if they confront you about it you say i'm so sorry i listen to that while i masturbate which will make them feel so uncomfortable because then they go what and you go oh i didn't mean to blast it for you i i don't know if you guys fuck a lot i don't know what you guys do upstairs but in my apartment i masturbate like an animal three times a week. And I listen to these two old timers and it's what gets me off.

Or what you say is you say, oh no, sorry about that. You guys are, it gets a little loud up there. And when you're doing that, I just put my favorite podcast on a loop. I think that's right. I actually think you go the Garf way that you are then fighting fire with a passive aggressive fire and you're saying yeah you are right I'm playing it well it's because I'm trying to sleep and I'm hearing you so I can fall asleep to them but I can't fall asleep to two people fucking

and then they go well what was the thing about faking and you go I don't know what you're talking about oh I don't know it's like a sports thing they do I think it's brought to you by Barbasol what do you think of that Dana are you going to try yeah fighting fire with a passive aggressive fire. It sounds exactly like what Aries would do. So I got to tell you, I have not wanted to see a follow up this bad in a while.

I'm excited. Please, please give us the follow up. We deserve it. Yes. A hundred percent. I got you guys. And Dana, thank you for the call. Thank you, Dana.

Thank you both so much. Appreciate it. Today's episode is sponsored by Booking.com, a.k.a. Booking.yeah. That's right, Jake. Listen, as you know, I'm on the road currently in a hotel currently that i booked on booking.com previously and you told us that i don't fair nope i don't want to get into that too much i just want to say how great but no go ahead i mean well that you said it's pretty funny so the stand-up places book most of your nights but on the layover night when you don't have

the club booking it you needed to book your own space and you said i used booking.com and it was so easy well we said well this is the goddamn commercial no you also pointed out that i have a room with two beds um because when i pay for it luke who's my opener uh he and I share a room because, you know, you try to save money on the road, which is why I use Booking.com. And another thing that's great about Booking.com is this situation without the two beds that I booked on Booking.com becomes a lot more Three Stooges-esque if it's one bed. So I get the two beds. They make it easy on you. You know what you're going to get when you show up. You're very familiar. It doesn't matter if you're looking for a remote mountain cabin or a relaxing

beach resort or a hotel that you share with a guy you met in college. There's a multitude of choices you can get at booking.com. I agree. And I was just told when my kid's spring break is, and my wife said, we have nothing planned if you want to plan something. And I thought, spring break is and my wife said we have nothing planned if you want to plan something and i thought oh i didn't realize this is uh gonna be on the old jakester and i'm gonna go to booking.com and then you're like when you figure out a weird four days to keep everybody busy so the kids don't drive me nuts so booking. yeah save me there we go so uh this spring check out booking.com for your ideal hotel or vacation home no matter where you go in the u.s book whoever you want to be on booking.com booking.com booking. yeah this episode is brought to you by another food place because we are true

fat boys over here because you have to say... But we gotta help! No, but you've got to say when you're saying yes to an ad, is this something you like? And it's all becoming food. It's great. It's great. Factor is truly amazing. Look, it's eating better

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So head to factormeals.com slash gilcentme five zero and use code gil sent me 50 to get 50 off it's gil sent me 50 at factormeals.com slash gil sent me 50 to get 50 off come on everybody join factor i eat him in the garage jake's my buddy i don't like gareth let's do it hey everyone producer kevin here this follow-up is from the first call of episode 22 titled Advantage Jackie with Bert Kreischer. It came out October 30th, 2023. So if you want to check that out as a quick refresher, you can do that now. Enjoy the follow-up. Hello?

Hi there. Welcome back to We're Here to Help. We know this is a follow-up. We don't know what the hell it's about. So can you just tell us your name and then just give us a little refresher on what's going on? My name is Jackie and I am the pickleball lady. Oh, nice. Bert Kreischer. Yes. You had issues with people playing pickleball right next to your house and we gave you a bunch of ways to sort of dissuade. Because they were playing at night. They were playing night pickleball, and it was loud. It's a loud game. What's up? I'm impressed that you remembered all that. All right, so

I cannot definitively prove that someone at the church heard the podcast, but shortly afterward, heard the podcast but shortly afterward shortly afterward we received some communication from them and they were like suddenly they were very eager to help us i don't know keep going so they so they like they were like oh we're so sorry like they gave us a person we could call anytime and they were saying oh it's supposed to be turned off at like 10 um we're gonna secure the lights yeah yeah they like actually did the thing but i mean it was eerily they listened to the show jackie jackie we're doing big numbers we're doing big numbers kid we do dog shit on youtube but we stop it that's reach we do big numbers on spotify and apple baby that's reach babe the fucking church is on Spotify and Apple, baby. That's reach, babe. The fucking church is listening. I mean, well, they probably heard our recommendations

that we were suggesting that someone shit on the court. Yes. But so, Jackie, just to be clear, because this is... This is big. This is big. Because the lights... It worked. Yes.

Okay. And you didn't have to take a dump on the court. Nobody had to defecate on the pickleball court. I got to say, the real point of our show... Is to threaten feces. Sometimes we pitch stuff that even when we hang up, we go like, that was some weird stuff. We don't want people taking dumps on pickleball courts. Nobody does.

But we want the caller to get what they need, and that's a little bit of peace. So the fact that the church reached out and said, we heard the thing. We're embarrassed, too. Let's work together. What a win. So Jackie, where are we at now? How's the pickleball problem? It's been very quiet. It's also been winter here in Houston.

Don't say that! Don't say it! Cut winter out! It's been 80 degrees for the last two days and it's been really quiet. The whole time since then, it's been fundamentally good. Honestly, just talking to you guys was great. Like, it made me feel better before anything happened.

And either way, you have a better outreach if it becomes a problem again, correct? Yes, absolutely. And I mean, the threat that, you know, you'll be back. Yeah, so I just need to say this, Jackie, one second. Gara? Yeah. Great job. Jake, great work.

Kevin? Great work. Great job. Hey, Jerry Kreischer, you're not here. We're here to help. But thank you. Great job. need to say this jackie one second gara yeah great job jake great work kevin great great job hey but thank you great job and jackie we are so happy yes that we were able to do the premise of this fucking experiment you're here to help and we're like okay here's what we're we're like the ghostbusters okay all we promise is we're going to get rid of the ghost we might destroy the room we might ruin the hotel but there ain't going to be a ghost. Was that worth me talking? Probably not. It feels like everyone kind of looked at me like what just happened, but we were all trying

to figure out how to make you Ernie. Yeah. Well, even less. Hey, uh, Jackie, we appreciate the call. And if you need anything, Jackie, we're always here for you. Yeah. I'm so grateful for it. Thank you guys so much. Thank you so much. Thank you. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson. And Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt.

And the associate producer and editor is A.J. McKeown. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakio. And our video editor is John DeBruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh, and you can check out his music at OliverRaleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I.com. The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand-up on the road, go to GarethReynolds.com. And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only,

and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.