We're Here to Help - 79: Mamas' Boys with Eve and Pam

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

For a special Mother's Day episode, the guys are joined by their moms Eve and Pam. Their moms share some notes for the podcast and Pam also helps a caller with a fear of butterflies. Later, the guys help out a golfer and follow up with the first caller from episode 67 "Rangers Range." Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail] (Early Access, Bonus Calls and Q&As): Patreon.com/HereToHelpPodVIDEO: Youtube.com/@HeretoHelpPodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodTIKTOK: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a head gum podcast. We are... Meg! Ladies and gentlemen. The boys. We've got a fun episode for you today. The fellas. The guys. Yes, we do. Just you and I again, like we promised, the solos. This is like the acoustics. Go ahead. Kevin, you're telling me to put my headphones on.

Why? Yes. There is someone in the waiting room. Okay. At this point, I'm not sure. Are you sure? I have a feeling that I'm going to have to turn off the music. I'm going to turn off the music.

I'm going to turn off the music. I'm going to turn off the music. I'm going to turn off the music. I'm going to turn off the music. I'm going to turn off the music. I'm going to turn off the music. I'm going to turn off the music. I'm going to turn off the music. I telling me to put my headphones on. Why? Yes. There is someone in the waiting room. Okay. At this point, I'm not sure.

Are you sure? I have a feeling, but I'm not sure. I do think it's weird when Kevin fully dupes us. Yes. Well, Kevin said before, let's do another- Solo intro. And I said, we've done a few. I think we're out of ideas.

Our last one was kind of weird. It might be unusable. And he goes, trust me, put your headphones on. Yeah. So, ladies and gentlemen, here we are. Kev, man, take the lead. Eve, can you hear us? Yes, I can. Mom! Eve, sweet Eve. Hey, mom, how are you doing?

OK, I'm really kind of sick of hearing your voices, though. Wow. Because I've been listening for days. What a hello. Welcome to the world. So, Mom, have you really been listening a bunch? Yes, yes. I listened on YouTube by accident. By accident? Well, I was looking for something and I saw you guys, so I said, why are they on YouTube? And you know, I just hit it. But I keep getting the same ones over. So mom, really fast, last time we talked on the phone

and I said, would you maybe call in? It was because you had some notes and the things you told me, I said, tell this to Gareth too, but you said, we were getting too wild. Yeah. You didn't like the guests. You are kidding. So the floor is yours, mom.

What are we doing wrong? Maybe we'll call these Eve's notes. I like that. I think for one, and today for sure, I was 100% positive that Gareth really does the intros 100% better than you do. That's a great note. I mean, Eve, I was a little worried that you were gonna come with some tough notes, but I think that's a great note

I think explain what you mean. Yeah, you do. Thank you. What Jake's dad? I know is When you guys get really crazy Especially with the guests where I'm like, I feel like my kids are in the back seat Yeah, I'm threatening to pinch them if they don't stop you use the word just so hard So Eve let me ask you this when I think Jake's getting a little too wild Do you think if I pinched him that could help I forgot about the fucking pinch She used to go you just put your hand down. It would frighten him. We used to be in the back seat This is very 80s and we would all be like doing jokes and she would go like, enough!

And if we wouldn't, she would reach her hand back if she grabbed any sort of meat. No, no, no, don't lie, Kate, don't lie. You weren't doing jokes. You were either picking on Rachel or you and Dan were going, were being so obnoxious. Jokes. It was unbelievable. It must have been so distracting when you were trying to drive and have this like sort of little yapping Jake.

There was a time that people were passing me and just looking at me and Jake was in the back seat with a friend of his and I thought, oh, they're looking at the kids and thinking they're so adorable. And then a woman pulls up next to me and says those little morons They're throwing blueberries at every car So that is very much what it's like trying to do an intro with Jay, so mom first I'm telling you that hand went back there. I don't care friend or no friend. He got pinched I bet it was it. I bet it was it

I bet it was Kent and you probably pinched him too. I did Yeah, back in the 80s parents could kind of hit other you were throwing blueberries at cars. Yeah Samaritan hold on mom. We got to get back to the notes. So all right, you think I'm bad at interest when When he's better at interest, but you're really good at when you're doing the jokes, especially with guests, you know, you have people on with you, that you, Jake, then slows it down and goes back to the guest. So you have told me this, you hate when we do too much about us and not the caller, is that correct?

He you usually say what happens which you know, I'm like, come on if you'll ask the guest a question and then You are the people that are on with you start making jokes And all three of you start joking and the person starts to answer then all three of you start joking and the person starts to answer, you know, but you guys get off on your tangent of we're so funny. We're so funny. Well, then Jake is the one that always says, all right, let's get back to like you think Jake does that competently. Yeah. He does that more than you do. Yeah. No, that's bad. Well, by the way,

I'm tired from carrying him during the intro at that point. I mean, I'm a little bit. Well, that could be, because when, when Derek does the intro, we should focus on the people seem really relaxed. Oh, you mean the intro of the show or of to the caller? Did it call to the caller? Yeah, I, I definitely, I think both I do very well And so what what else could you give us notes for the show mom cuz we gotta get back to the commercials

It's too long the commercials are too. Okay. And what do you think of Gil Buchanan? I it took me a couple shows to know who the fuck he was But now that you know who he is, what do you think of him? He was. Right. Now that you know who he is, what do you think of him? Eh. Doesn't feel great. Ma, we gotta go, but while we have you here, I want you to please give us really fast other

notes. Oh, I got one more thing that really you should think about. Okay. You have to bring Kevin in a little more. Really? Nobody's giving that note. Yeah. Are you just trying to be nice because he helped you technically?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There was a time, two times he came in and it was funny. I mean, not like, like there was a woman and you know, I can't remember. Yeah, it's fine. But the woman was saying something and you guys were disagreeing with her. So she went along with you and Kevin came in and said, wait a minute, two minutes ago you were all against this. It was hysterical. And what's your note to me then, Mom?

Now mind you, we're trying to make the show better, so you're helping me. I just didn't like when you brought somebody in. You don't like the guests. So which guest did you not like the most? You know what, the women are better than the men? I agree. This is my child. You have to remember you have to remember the call. I'm gonna pinch you you have to whatever Remember the baller okay? That's right. Remember the caller

Don't Jake by the way Jake's throwing blueberries at Kevin even is wild over here right now alright mom. We appreciate you We're gonna. Thank you for the note, Steve. Love you, mom. Bye. Bye. Without further ado. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. And hello there, caller. Welcome to We're Here to Help. Can we get your name, your age of where you're calling from, and I'll memorize all that.

Okay, my name is Emily. I am 26 and I'm from Austin. Well Emily, we're gonna get into your prom in a second but we also do want to tell you we have a very special guest. This person has not worked in film or TV, she's not an author but she is a fantastic woman. She used to enjoy drinking a lot of wine, not so much anymore. My mother, the ex-girlfriend, Pam Reynolds is here Jesus yeah all right on again off again the will they won't stop the Pam and Jake's not alive that's just keeping the audience on not Jess and Nick Pam and Jake Emily of my mother Pam

Joining us so Pam you want to say hi to him. Yes. Hello, Emily. Okay, great. Hello So Emily, you know the deal we're gonna help you Pam's probably gonna pitch in what is going on? What can we help you with today? So a little bit of back story To kind of before I get into like the actual problem um I have a very big irrational fear of butterflies that started whenever I was a kid uh my mom took me to the Houston butterfly exhibit and one of the butterflies decided to you know go for my ear and eat you know my ear wax and that freaked me out Really bad Emily Emily Emily. Does that really this isn't real life? Yeah, no, I got Emily Emily the butterfly might have gone near your ear. It wasn't attacking your earwax

That's little kid. Yeah, did a professional ever weigh on other reality or just say it was trying to land on your ear Like it was a perch. No, it was it was the scariest thing How old were you when you were attacked by the killer butterfly five? I don't know I want to say between like eight and ten That it was after your earwax because I again I think I have no idea Okay, I think I have no idea basically a butterfly went your ear Emily and you can hold they got this fake reality, but we're not here to shatter that I don't know here's what we're saying Emily. Here's what we're saying. It's not a fake reality that a Beautiful butterfly yeah, and it on your ear

It might be a fake reality that it attacked your ear and tried to eat the earwax out of you. Yeah, I think he's right. Definitely did not. Okay, all right, so you know what, Emily, we're on your team. So when you were younger, you went to Houston and you were attacked by a butterfly, continue. Yes, I was attacked by a butterfly.

But anyways, so my problem is one of my friends from high school is getting married in November in a butterfly atrium. So what for you? This is a nightmare for you. Right. This is my nightmare, literally. So I'm over here thinking how the hell am I going to attend this wedding without losing my shit?

Okay. So really quickly, just to recap, so Pam is fully with us, I'm with us in the audiences, Emily, you're 26, when you were eight, you were attacked by a beautiful butterfly, you avoid them. Tried to eat your brain. Tried to eat your brain, you've avoided them

when they're around, you are not afraid to move away from them This is a as real of a fear to you as like a shark in the ocean. Is that correct? Yes, okay. Your friend is getting married. Is it a important friend? Yes, we have been friends for over 10 years. So you have to go to the wedding. What's the friend's name? Sarah Sarah so Sarah's getting married you cannot be the psychopath and not go because of butterflies But they're getting married in the home of your enemy a bunch of butterflies. Yes, and it's absolutely yeah I hear you I mean there's gonna be a lot of butterflies inside everywhere

Everywhere and there's going to be a moment where the people who cater it and host this event Puts a little fan on to get those little fuckers flying. Yes. Because everybody's doing this for the Instagram. And they want all those colors around you guys. So your enemy is going to be everywhere. Yeah. My first piece of advice, clean your ears.

Really? Get a candle. I think we're done. Clean your ears. Thank you so much for the call. Do not. Yeah. I mean, you don't want to, yeah, you're just like, come on.

You do not want to tempt them. And so, Sarah, will you put into your, I'm sorry, Emily, will you put into your words what your exact question is now that we got a set up of this? Yes. My exact question is how am I going to sit through this beautiful ceremony without losing my shit? Yes, understood. Well, it's hard. It's hard.

It's, do you have any phobias, Pam? I don't even know if you do. No, but I did want to say something to Emily. I think she'll be quite pleased about this. When I was little, this is really horrid. I don't know whether even Garfy knows this, but I used to trap butterflies in a fishnet and then I would pin them on a board

So I punished the butterflies on your behalf Emily. What's so I'm quite happy to hear this It's sort of crucifed. I'll tell you the weirdest turn of that story is it's made our affair even hotter What are you talking about? I don't know. I don't know but all of a sudden the idea is you're torturing and pinning a beautiful little butterfly Stop. Pin me back, Chesney. Yay! Sweez on my wings. I'm trapped, mama.

Leave this weird-bodied toddler alone. What? I want to pin through my heart, but what I feel, Emily, is that I've punished butterflies for you on my behalf. Why would you do that? I don't know. Were you studying them or you were just sadistic? No, I was just sadistic. She also used to eat dog biscuits. I did. The pink ones. Again. Jake, shut up. Alright. This doesn't help you Emily, so we need to solve your problem. Yeah. And I think to you this is so real and it's and it's do you believe that?

The butterfly was eating her earwax. I believe Emily believes that nice Very political way of no it actually it actually happens and it sounded like squelching So Emily we're not gonna go deep into the world of when a butterfly landed on your ear because we're gonna just believe Batman villain origin story. Yes, but here's what I will say. There's a lot of these fears. I worked with a woman who was afraid of bananas. My mother's taking that very seriously.

I like you saving it. I bet you liked her. How did that even happen? Well, Emily, the way you're judging her is possibly the way others might be judging you, but. I gotta say, I love the color on Emily right now. I'm like, what a weirdo. Yes.

But here's what I'm gonna say, Emily. When we got to the job, it was a movie. We were actually in London, and she was in the hair and makeup trailer And we all had a talking to from the head of the department saying Could know could you guys please agree and no one brings bananas in the trailer? And knowing me I was like I won't push on this but I have to ask her yes And she said she has no idea why but when she sees a banana

It's the same as if another sees a serial killer with a knife. That's crazy. So she's like, I can't go to the fruit section of grocery store. What? Yes. What's it like?

So the reality is at first I was laughing, and then she had a great sense of humor about it, and she's like, but the truth is it's very real. So then when we got to know each other more as buds, she's like, I hear why you're laughing and I get it, but this shit is real. So there are there are also clips on like Maury where someone's like, I'm afraid of pickles and someone chases them with a best clip.

It's a great clip. More is a piece of shit, but those are the best clips. They did it for a reason. So I'm going to actually pitch and I'm going to it's going to seem like a bit, but it's where I was going either either way. Exposure therapy. I'm going to, it's going to seem like a bit, but it's where I was going either, either way, exposure therapy. Yep. I'm going to call that the Mori. Okay. So Emily, here's what I think you got to do before this wedding. You got to get yourself around a bunch of butterflies. A lot. Not a bad call. And you got to find an environment. You have to go to this atrium by yourself and you got to maybe bring a bottle of booze with you get a little whiskey drunk and walk in there

and let these creatures come around you and if you panic leave and go back but do it alone nobody needs to see this display of insanity from you Garf I think that's pretty good I think so just to be clear the wedding is also in Austin at the atrium, correct Houston No, it's an it's in Dallas This place called Texas Discovery Garden, okay, I was thinking my initial like gut reaction was like All right before this wedding. I am either gonna take some Xanax or Get a little drunk beforehand and just like you know I think for us. Yeah, I think that's a good idea I think having a having a cocktail or two is not a bad idea

I would also call them and say you're calling on behalf of your daughter who you bring into the wedding Just to cover your tracks and you can say she has this fear is she gonna be okay? Do the butterflies attack yours? And you can say she has this fear is she gonna be okay do the butterflies attack ears Is there anything I could say to assuage the fears of my daughter? That's that's the first prong the second prong is you're a little lucky because In wedding fashion or attire you're okay to kind of wear a little bit of a mesh over your face So you can kind of veil it up so I would wear an outfit Allowed to wear a man. You're allowed to wear a little veiled thing. No the bride is no

But you're allowed as an attendant you can have a little messy thing right now all right wear a beekeeper outfit Okay, you know what my advice don't call. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm getting hot my mother's here, so Emily There's the idea of Xanax and alcohol before that's not a solution. That's just a wet and I wouldn't go with both Yeah, it's a terrible solution, but nobody but I also don't think it's problematic I would say for sure have a couple of cocktails. I oh definitely have a cut I would maybe have a Xanny I think listen if you need it have it on hand Yeah, right and consider it like going into your cocoon and you're gonna come out on the other side a beautiful Butterfly ready to party in an atrium. But Garf we have not given enough

pitches. I was I think well where's my notebook first of all you're noticing an issue. I'm not your dad. Get your own dad. Get your own dad. Well you try. I might be Pam's daddy but I'm not your daddy. Jesus Christ stop. I I like my mesh pitch. I will say that you know what you could also do if you wanted is You could probably is the whole is the after party the after party is not gonna be the atrium the after party somewhere else, right? No, no, so I think it's just for the reception or not the reception the ceremony I bet you could find a way to. No, you gotta go to the reception. So Emily, I hear where you're going,

but you gotta go, it's a 10-year friend. So what are you really afraid of? Let's talk this out for a second, and let's do what Eve says I'm good at, and let's get back to the call. Good, good word. So Emily, walk us through, and don't try to be funny, try to be real.

What are your fears? And this is something that Dr. Phil would do on his show. Emily. What do you think is going to happen? It's not like what I think is going to happen. It's that every single time I'm around a butterfly, my initial gut instinct is to run as far away as fast as I can. Okay. Just to get away. Okay, so Emily. It's fast as I can. Okay. Just to get away from them.

Okay, so Emily. Because it's like the flutter. Okay. Uh-huh. So you don't have to go back there. I can hear you're already kind of getting a little... All right. So Emily, tell us who it is.

God damn fluttering. Let's go back to you for a little bit. Flutter. What else is really scary about a butterfly? The flutter? I don't know. Their long mouths. Their eyes.

I don't know. It's just, for some reason, it just freaks me out. I just don't know their long mouth their eyes. I don't know. It's just you know, for some reason it just freaks me I just don't like them, but I can see pictures of them and that's fine. So walk us through okay It's the wedding night. You're in a dress you sit down you look up you see a bunch of butterflies everywhere Yeah, where you you at now? I am internally trying not to scream and run. Okay, and then the butterflies start flying around because a fan comes on,

and there's a bunch of butterflies, let's say 5,000. Where are you at? He started with a big number, by the way. Where are you at, Emily? That's way too many. No, Emily, you can't determine how many butterflies. There are 5,000 butterflies flying above your head I want you to close your eyes right now. We're gonna do a little session here

Will you do me a favor and actually close your eyes? Yes, they are closed now. I want you to take a deep breath in and out in And out You are at the reception Emily and out in and out. You are at the reception, Emily. Bunch of your friends are there. Your dear friend, Sarah is getting married.

You look up, there are 10,000. Hold on. Sorry. That was immature. Some babies. They had some babies. There are 10,000 fucking butterflies everywhere. Now, Emily, I want you to look up at the butterflies and in your head say, you're just a beautiful creature on planet Earth and you don't attack anything. You don't kill anything.

You eat nothing but pollen probably. Yeah, you're flower-based. You are harmless and your wings are gorgeous. Would you say that to the butterflies out loud maybe? I would say that to the butterflies, but then I would also be like, you can be beautiful and gorgeous over there away from me. No, the butterflies are coming close to you.

I want you to imagine a six-foot butterfly right now. Oh boy walking up to you. Hello Okay, that's what we're gonna do all right, so this is real now Emily keep your eyes closed Now Emily I want you to do this sincerely. I don't know if it's gonna work, but not let's go we might I want you to have a real conversation now with your eyes closed picture a real butterfly What are what colors are its wings? Blue blue right what other colors are there? um I guess like some yellows. Okay. Do you really is it what does eyes look like is it scary if it's a six-foot butterfly? Absolutely, they're pretty big. Okay Is it what does eyes look like is it scary if it's a six foot butterfly absolutely? Okay, okay, so then now I want you to take that six foot butterfly and make it tiny like the size of a butterfly

Okay, can you now see it? It's still blue and yellow. It's got the big mouth though Can you can you visualize that butterfly a hundred percent? Mm-hmm. Okay now next to it put another butterfly and that butterfly is the first butterflies mother. Can you see that one? Yes, what does that butterfly look like the same color? So okay cute so it's a mother mother. I like that now I want you to tell that butterfly and its mother that you're afraid of them, okay? I think I should obviously have an English accent now, of course, okay, so Emily I would like you to express your fears to these butterflies

All right, and please be honest with us because we're gonna get to the other side. Don't worry about our feelings. Okay, what's going on? I see how beautiful and harmless you are, but I am unfortunately afraid of you but Emily we we mean, you know harm darling. I'm aware of this it's just the movements and it's just I'm terrified, irrationally terrified of you. You've come here for a ceremony and we're also a bit terrified of your movements and your gesticulations down on the ground. We're not so different

us but I promise you it's alright, right mum? Yes, yes. Go on, say a little more to Emily, she's freaking- No, please don't worry. Yeah, don't worry. Put the fucking mic next to your fucking mouth, Emma. Shut up, don't be so rude. Nah, I'm talking, we're having a conversation.

I'm the fucking butterfly's dad now. Oh god, where are you from? I'm your stepdad, son. No, no, no, we're- And I'm the fucking butterfly that Emily should be afraid of. We're- we're- we're- we're- what are you doing? We're messing up- I'll rock your stepdad son. And I'm the fucking butterfly that Emily should be afraid of. What are you doing? I'll whoop your fucking little ass if you talk to my fucking... You're messing up the entire... Go away.

Fuck Emily. I'll eat her fucking earwax out and I'll fucking eat your brain out son. Remember when you started, what was it about? Put the mic in front of her face. Dear, are you alright? I'm alright, thank you very much. He talks to you like that again, I'm going to whoop his fucking ass. Emily, I'm not sure where this is. This is what I have to put up with. Emily, Emily, Emily.

Now that I'm here, now that I'm here and I'm your fucking man, you'll never put up with it again. I don't know where you're from. I'll wrangle his fucking neck off, I'll pop it off. I think Australia. Yeah, you might be very close to me, honestly. I think we need to pin him on a board. Oh god, oh my, no.

I would love to be pinned on your board. And maybe I'll pin you back. Oi, oi, oi. I'll have two fosters. Oi. You can pin me and I'll pin you. Oi. Sounds lovely.

I think so too, dear. Oi, oi, oi. Cockwings. Alright, Emily, Emily, Emily, Emily, Emily. Let's get rid of the fucking boy. I'll kill Emily. I'll eat her brains out. I've got my pins. Oh baby, I've got my pins. Alright Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily. I was wondering if I could just say something that I thought might help Emily. As I'm in America and I listen to Jake, I think that, do you think maybe some just a little session of counseling and while I've been watching the television here,

I think you can phone this little counseling. That's this podcast. We're pitching to her this exact show. She means real. I mean real ones and she could perhaps have an hour or half an hour twice before the wedding to see if that would help her. So Amelie, this is the first time our advice to you is going to be go to a real fair. I think your advice, I think honestly out of all of it

I think Jake's to the James bridge Jake's advice is the best advice which is I would go to an atrium Yes, I would go to one I would get it out of the way It's almost like before you go do like before you go do a big show as a stand-up You got to go hit a couple open mics. I would go there agree get the butterflies out and And go and experience it. Get that sensory overload out of the way once or twice. That's right. And then go to the actual wedding.

You'll find a lot more comfort. Emily, considering you have to go to the wedding and you're going to have to deal with this, will you do us a favor and just do a practice run? I like that. Where you actually go to an atrium, bring one friend with you. Yeah. Literally for that. Maybe a friend who's going to go to the wedding.

Yes, and take two Xanax. Sure. So just so you're around them, tell the people who work there so they can put one of them on your hand. Yes. And will you actually do me a favor and think of Pam's voice every time you see a butterfly. And block out Jake. So Pam, will you just say

really quickly Emily you're safe and I love you Emily you're safe and I love you now every time you see a butterfly will you think of that voice Emily yes I will because that is a very nice and comforting and every body on planet Earth make sure you've got clean ears as well But every butterfly sounds like Pam Okay, or just take a cork board with one pinned on it and show it to the others and say if the rest you get Out of line. This is what happens Emily will you do us a favor and as much as it's gauche will you film yourself being around these butterflies for the Please I will

Oh, please actually please. Please. I will. I will definitely film it. Oh, please actually do that. Please go to Adrian and have your friend film you. Oh. Emily. I'll film it. I'll film it and I'll tag you guys. That's all.

Last but not least, we're going to leave on this. But Pam, could you send Emily out as a butterfly with some parting words? I will. I will. Emily, I love you and I wouldn't hurt you and my wings are just so beautiful and fluttery and I'm so attracted to you just to make you feel comfortable.

Pam, I feel the same way about you. All right, we gotta go Emily, thanks a bunch. Good luck Emily. Bye Emily. Your wings are so beautiful and I'm so attracted to you. Take care Emily, thanks a lot. Bye. We'll see you later.

Bye, bye. Bye Jake. Bye Jake. Bye Jake. See you later Jake. Bye Jake. Bye Jake. Bye Jake. Bye Jake.

Bye Jake. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Jake, look, Squarespace, I've used Squarespace for my website the entire time that I've had my website. It is completely user friendly, they make it so easy, and I even, before I used it, that's what I heard, but I was like, that's, I'm me. Uh, it's, that's what the campaign should be. I'm me.

Yeah. Squarespace is still easy. Counterpoint. We're Squarespace. Yeah. Since I've been using it, they keep adding things you can do. So you can now add stuff like an online store where you can sell your products. They have places where you can do. So you can now add stuff like an online store where you can sell your products. They have places where you can blog. They just, it keeps getting better and better. So even if you

feel like you know what is on Squarespace, I would recommend going and checking it out again, because they just keep making it better. And it's so easy. We did it. We did it on our show. Yeah. It was simple to do. And so maybe we're going to bring out the closer on this one. Is he around? Oh my Lord. Can you call Gilly and see if Is he around? Oh my lord, can you call? Quietly being here. Yeah, you talk. What are we what's going on? What's been up lately? Shows been going great and good. Hi Jake. Hey, Gilly. How are you pal? Been a while Yeah, I mean I see you every you look good. Yeah, you look the same my friend. You seem well you too So do you want to read the call to action and this?

Head to https://www.squarespace.com slash Gil sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code Gil sent me. Let's do it one more time just to make sure. Go to www.squarespace.com slash Gil sent me to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or domain using code. Gil sent me, we should all go out and get some beers. This episode of we're here to help is brought to you by Kleenex ultra soft buy Kleenex Ultra Soft tissues, your ally, to help tackle your allergy symptoms this season.

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Slash Gil sent me to get 30 bucks off Use code Gil sent me a checkout to save everybody terms and conditions Good afternoon gentlemen, how we doing? Wow, this is is this the best I've ever heard a guy start It feels like we're called in his podcast Sir, who who are you and why uh... where you calling from uh... this is me know from just outside of boston this is exactly where i would have said if you admit said to me guess where this

guy's from with the way it started i've been like right around that zone uh... nino i get that nino and i a no alright nino well you know the deal you're on on We're Here to Help. You got a problem. What is happening? All right, boys. I think this is a pretty easy one. Every year my father hosts a giant golf tournament for about 16 guys. And we always went to North Carolina. This year is the first year we're going to Tampa. I always end the tournament right around fourth, maybe fifth place. My brother has wanted at least three times.

I've never broken third. Now that we're going to Tampa, I'd really like to kind of earn a higher spot. Not really. We leave in May, so I don't have any time to take any lessons. Uh, and the kicker is my mom's stitches initials of the winner on the sleeve of jacket after every victory, and she's let me know every year That I'm nowhere near the top

Okay, I just if I may just yeah, I think He's trying to get us to get him to win this I'm already like I also like that He said this is no easy one And then he's already been like and there's no time for lessons. Anyway, I gotta come in first I guess our pitches is Nina. You got a murder everybody above you Cut off your brother's arm. Yeah, you have to you have to injure everybody All right, so keep going. So your mother does the initials you always come in fourth or fifth Your brother always wins you never broken third and you're looking for a better seat

Yeah, I want to know besides cheating. How can I get a Earn a higher spot This is Kevin. Are you trying to make it impossible for I love this one Nino, let me ask you this. Do you think there's anything that two guys? I mean you I think have we ever golf together. No, I don't I think maybe we played the par three ones We're not good. Yeah, no, but hold on Nina. Let's go back to you for a second. You're a funny guy You have a good take on this What kind of world are you thinking? So it's a heck of a setup and I'm with you

But when you said this should be easy In your head what kind of ideas that you have that we can know each idea right? that you have that we can maybe pitch on your pitches? The initial thought was I wasn't going to get any golf advice from you two. Right. So I wasn't looking for that. I was looking at this is a long weekend. We go, we get this Thursday, we come home Sunday. I can ship away at them. Is it taking them out a little extra for a few beers at the end of dinner? Then I'm getting tired. But that's I mean we get some big boys from Houston coming up I don't think that does it So, you know what it could be and I don't know this group and I don't know if this is gonna work, you know

I don't know if it's a good pitch, but I'm just starting the ball rolling. But Nino don't get quiet here You're the third guy. We need you. We need your help. Yes But Nino don't get quiet here. You're the third guy. We need you. We need your help. Yes What if you created some sort of fake drama between the guys at the top and you added a layer of pressure? Like you say to somebody like your brother Give me who's number two mostly Number two would be on my buddy Jay. So you said those two fist fight for top. So you say to your brother Hey real talk Jay's been talking a lot of shit about you. He says you're a choke meister.

He said you're not as good. And he said, there's no way your game is gonna translate down to Tampa. Then you say to Jay. I like this. You go to Jay and you go, I gotta be honest with you. My brother was making fun of you. He said that the fact.

Hitting everyone, yeah. And so you add, something I did during frisbee days. Yeah, yes. When another team gets hot, you just have to turn up the temperature, Nino. You're the best guy at this. But here's why, Nino, skill-wise, you're at a four or five. But we're not talking. Incredibly average.

Yeah, average. But we're not talking about professional golf players So you're you know what they can't do They can't play great with pressures on so every single moment you start saying to them Hey Jay My brother says there's no way you're hitting an eagle here Every time there's a putt you go like this. to your brother how much you want to bet he misses it? so every and no one's paying attention to you because you got them all battling each other and you're just Quietly fucking hitting the ball, but they have putting their game

Into a pressure cooker So maybe they all take a step down. How do you think of that as a start? I Think that's that's a perfect side and regardless of what we come up with next that's what we're leading with okay God love you love you but to be fair that's the only pitch so far so we would have to be leading with it that in a thousand boys but I like that you're you're a great guy like you that you're a great guy. I'm a native. Yeah, okay. All right, I like that. I think there's definitely a mind game aspect. My first thought was off of what you said, get him fucking hung over.

But let me ask you this, do you guys drink while you're golfing? Very much so. Okay, so I think let's lean into that game a little bit. I mean, you have the great inebriator. You're Boston guys, you're in Tampa. I think you got to just get everyone more drunk and you fake drink a little bit. He's got some big boys down from Houston coming. These guys can drink. Listen, but I think instead of hungover, let's actively

get more intoxicated for the actual game. I got another pitch, Nino, and this is getting weird. Good style, let's go, let's hear it it the top four guys. Can you steal their clubs or fuck with them? No, no, okay, cuz here's what I was gonna say you could return them after but if they're using club clubs and They go like I never even use this driver Should have kept a better eye on your stuff. I like that, you know just the idea of or You just do something you replace their balls with weird ones. You find like a, you find, you get online and you find like golf balls are happier.

Prank tease, yeah, tease that's snap easier or something. Yeah, so that you just, you go, like you start looking at, you go to all their clubs at night and you put like a weird oil on them. You know, just so that when they hit, they go like, what is happening? Or what if you found a way, what if you, this is crazy, but what if you like hired someone to follow you guys around the course and shout Baba Booey before someone swung? Oh, I have an idea.

Hire someone? What do you guys, you know, you guys in Tampa, like in the middle of May? No, might be torn. I'm not. No, I will not be anywhere near there. I got something. By design. I got something and it's a real weird one and you might just be the guy to pull it off. Okay. This is what we're looking for boys. So supportive. There's like, I feel like I could be like, you know, put poo in your hand and throw it at your brother and be like, hey, I like that we got some ideas up on the board. You know what I would like? you know, put poo in your hand and throw it at your brother. You'd be like, hey, I like that we got some ideas up on the board. You know what I would like?

You know how we have the lady with Gareth puns who goes, oh, after every good one, I would love Ninos. I like where we're going. Anything we're going to have to stab your brother like he sees it. I like I like the beginning of this. Let's close up. So here's what I'm thinking, man. And this is a real weird play, but we're just I like what beginning of this let's close up. So here's what I'm thinking man, and this is a real weird play But we're just like what we're headed, but we're just trying to get a victory out of this one, right? You create you have a girlfriend you got a wife where you at I got a wife. Yeah, okay, so you got kids No, okay. This is good

This might work. You start planting the seed. Give us a name for that wife of yours. Alana. Alana. You go like this. The beginning of the tournament. First night drinking.

I'm in a shit situation. This I was going to pitch something like what's going on and you go. Alana is what another guy. This is great. And they go, you got to be kidding that. You go, Hey, I with another guy. This is great. And they go, you gotta be kidnapped. You go, hey, I'm still in love with her. And they go, I've never been lower in my life. I'm a loser.

I never win anything. You plant the seed within them that they, when you're not around, go, do we let the fucking guy win? You've never been lower. The second you make them come up with it, you go, I swear to God, she's fucking this other guy. And then they go, you leaving her and you go, I'm just a wet noodle. What am I? I'm going to stay. What do I got? And they go, have a little bit of self respect. And you go, I never went nothing in my life. I'm middle of the road. I'm a

fifth place finisher. So then you leave, your brother goes, Jesus Christ, I don't feel right beating him. They all go, how about we do this? We keep two scores, the real score and the Nino score. When you get the victory, you go, the victory's real, you get the initials, and then you tell them later, you go, and I hustled you, because golf is a mental game, and you guys are mental babies, and I just beat you.

I like where I'm going with this one What do you think of that as an idea? You know, I think that's a tough one to throw over the fence boys I don't know. I got you Well, my version we were gonna win there I did too and my version of that was going to be that throughout the game. You're escalating the problems so again in this one you are sort of ruining the game to win it because you would be like, oh my god, I hired a PI. They're at a movie together. They're making out in the back. And then you go up

with full focus and you do your best while your brother's like And I feel so bad for my brother and then you know you could say in the middle of it I just feel like I haven't won anything. I'm not losing. I'm always been a loser because I'll tell you what I think bringing home The Jack who will really win her over. Yes But for real and and then you could say partly one of the things she said is you never win anything Because what you're trying to get is what you told us from this setup is you're not going to take any golf lessons. No, you're not. You don't want to cheat. I mean, you really, it's a pinhole we're trying to thread. You're saying I'm trying to figure out a way to win a golf tournament, but not get better at golf. Yeah. Without improvement. Without improvement.

So the only way to do that then is you need to find a way to get the guys who are better than you to let you win as An act of kindness to which you then rub in their face and you say you were kind of the wrong guy I tricked you for the victory, but I still think the big deal that once you're about to putt the last one You go and boys. I should let you know though something Everything with the wife is perfect. And then you hit a bar part you go like this and I just got mom's initials. Yeah. Yeah. I mean What do you think of that Nina My only concern is I've known these boys for a long time and I don't think they give me

Doesn't matter if my wife's cheating or not Going for the jugular boys understood. Okay, So then I think we got to lean into drama. Yeah. Because. I like the drama pitch. And here's why I say that because it's hard to, it's hard to hit when there's a lot of pressure. Now do you guys watch each other each hand or do like, I mean, each, uh, each hole?

Yeah. If it gets backed up the group behind, we'll watch whoever's in front of them. Definitely. So one of the things we might have to do if the drama thing doesn't work is you just got to get really petty and You everybody who's above you in the ranking you got to follow them around talk a lot of shit have an airhorn and just Call fouls. I can't do that You're not allowed to pick up this you can't pick that up until you put your ball down. So what do you think, Nino?

We were talking kind of drama, right? We're maybe trying to get everybody drunk, but these are big boys from Houston. They already drink. I brought up the idea of stealing the clubs, which didn't seem exciting. We talked about this idea of the wife left you that slowly gets revealed that you hired a P.I. throughout the game. You're saying it's not going to work. We're also talking about the idea of, you know, essentially being the clown on the Apollo. Mm hmm. Yep.

Whenever they're trying to do something, you're the Sandman. You just you dress weird, you make weird sounds after you do the well, the Caddyshack. I was just going to say, if you're the right you show up, you make weird sounds. After you do the, you do the Caddyshack. I was just gonna say, if you're the Rod, you show up like Rodney Dangerfield. Ooh, you Rodney Dangerfield. You Rodney Dangerfield the game. That's actually a great pitch.

You have a radio. Have you seen Caddyshack? You must have. No, come on. Okay, so do you remember when he would like, even, Hey, I tell ya. He had a speaker in his bag. Yes.

So everywhere he went was a little bit of a party. Yeah. What you could do. Anyone want a cocktail? You gotta be like that. When I had like that, you should get a free bowl of soup. Oh. Looks good on you though.

No offense. So there's a world where you just Rodney D the weekend. You have to become a force a personality force You're a bit like John Daly. Oh, I have an idea too. Yeah, because here's the catch We're giving you good pitches for the weekend, but those guys are gonna kill you at golf I the Rodney D. It's good if I mean I have an idea and this might be the only way you're getting mom's initials Which seems to be the end all yeah If you talk to your sweet mommy you tell her that you're going through a big depression and you really need the initials It's first place

I don't know with her other son in the mix. I don't think she's uh, she won't break. He doesn't want to be in cahoots Well, how about this? Let's have it. What have we got? Yeah. Oh, my wife is a professional embroiderer. Do you want to ship the jacket to us? What if we just faked it and you showed up with a first place? What if you wear it for the weekend so it's sort of like you're manifesting? Yes.

And you're saying, you're saying, how do I get first place without getting better? Well, you don't. You just say, you know, you do. You just lie and say your first place. Yes. And you should post about it and you should really lean into it. And I also still think I would run a danger field. And because you're right, that involves drinking. Your bag should have a wet bar in it. You should always be like, hey, come on, have a my time.

So what do you think about just pretending you've already won and this is your victory tour? I I'm probably going to steal the jacket and rock it at least for the weekend. Yes. No matter where I'm sitting in the leaderboard and then combine it with a couple of other things that you guys pitched. Is he accepting the last pitch? Cause I, we're, we're offering to make you a foe.

Well, it's hard cause you'd have to send it here. You'd have to get the jacket, send it to Leah, embroider it, and then send it back. Yeah. Yeah. We could do that. We can do that. Hey, Nina, can you get your hands on the jacket?

I don't know. I don't know where the jacket is right now. I've never held it. So you know what we need from you? We need you to get the jacket, send it to Kevin, and we're just going to embroider that you've won. And that's the way we do this. How do you win a tournament without getting better?

You don't. You just say you won. I mean, right away, you told us improvement in your game was not an option. So what do you think of that, Nino? Is that in the realm of possibility? I love it. And if it was realistic, I think I would, I would just put all my chips into that. I just don't know if I can get it. Okay. And then if you can't get it, what are we doing? I think we're, we're building a shit ton of fake drama. Okay. I'm going to get a few G and T's for the crew. Maybe I'll drink up a little White Claw,

kinda keep the pace but not as aggressive. And then really build into the fake drama and then just Rodney the... I love it. I think you can also, the fact that you're going through personal drama can justify why you've become Rodney Dangerfield. No, it's not his personal drama.

He's creating drama between them. Oh, you're doing the shit talk betwixt. I'm gonna turn them all against them. And so how are you going to... So I would start that early, and I would start the idea that this year in Tampa, the competition's different, and everybody is talking a lot of shit.

So that there's just a real bad vibe in the air between one, two, three, and four. And under four, there's just a real bad vibe in the air between one two three and four. Mm-hmm and Under four everybody's having a blast. I Mean that really you really have to go for it though But yeah, that seemed and I would again get him fucking drunk You stay sober and get them all that combined I mean it's an all hands on deck if you can't improve your game if that's not part of this Here's another possible way, you know that I don't think would work, but it could work

maybe you try to convince everybody that winning doesn't matter and That the fun of these tournaments is getting wasted together and it's kind of a d-bag move to take it too seriously and be like You know what? We're all kind of talking about you say it to everybody too seriously and be like, you know what we're all kind of talking about, you say it to everybody individually in the top four, you say like the rest of the group is saying like, you're getting too competitive and everybody loves you, but you're turning into a fucking asshole. I actually like that a lot. What if night one you do a toast where you talk about, you know, something that's maybe

not as cliched as the real winning happens off of the course Because of this it's important that we spend this time together Growing our bonds this group's not gonna buy maybe not but then I like I like that follow-up of being like But I be in like you're a bit of so I would do this, you know one-on-one to like your brother I'd go like hey, man Just let you know like everyone says you're getting to be a bit of a fucking prick. Yeah, and they go What do you mean? They go they think you think you're Tiger Woods out there man Enjoy just by the way say hi to somebody once in a while. Nobody gives a shit about your score Yeah, and then go like hey, I know you think you're good

But against real players your dog shit so fucking ask somebody about their personal life for once you're losing out on people who love you A lot and they go like no, I'm not I everything right. And they go, you're so focused on winning, you don't realize you're fucking losing the whole weekend. And then you're out there trying your hardest. And what about this? Because look, none of this might work. What about if at the very end the winner, you in front of your buddies, put down one bet to see if you can play against them in a one shot game or something like that for a winner takes all shot. You might want to, again, have the wheels greased a little bit by alcohol, but then you say something where you're like, for all the marbles, I'll bet you can't hit this there.

Or how about a trick shot? So you work on like a trick shot where you're like tapping it or something. Who can hit it the further without it dropping on the ground? You just tee that up for the very end make it an intense shit talk and again your fourth or fifth Nobody's gonna be intimidated by you might be able to jump up gives you your best chance. What do you think? I? Like that didn't even think of this is why I called you boys This is what I was looking for you know you've been a tough case, but something that might be the move. So what do you think you you I think that okay? I'm gonna go for the the drama and excessive drinking. Yes. Yes, if that doesn't work. I'm gonna have something in the bag

Yes, what is yet? I have no idea but we'll work on it Well, think about it think you know golf better than us, but think about it and let us know what that's going to be You know golf better than us, but think about it and let us know what that's going to be Because that could save your weekend what you have to do and this is what I do to Gareth on bets This is true. This is why I said Jake perfect for this So what you have to do on that is you don't have to jump everybody You have to find something with the guy who's number one that's triggering. So what I'll do with Gareth is like I'll want to make a big bet about like, he wins every year the dinner and the a hundred bucks.

So I'm like, how do I recoup? So I know I'm trying to get to a Super Bowl win, which is hard. Even if you're a good team, it's just hard. So you gotta have a lot, you have to be better than every other team and play well that game. So I will start my texts in a kind of basic zone

going like, yeah, they're pretty good. They're a lot like the Cowboys. They go far. Then he'll go, the bear suck. You're hurt. You're triggered. And I'll keep going. Then we'll be talking about something small and I'll go, yeah, I mean, they're fine. They're never going to win a Superbowl. And he'll go, oh, they could win a Superbowl with this group. And I go, they're fine. They're never going to win a Super Bowl. And he'll go, Oh, they could win a Super Bowl with this group. And I go, they won't do it by 2025. And he'll go, they might. And I'll go, I'll put 1000 bucks. They don't.

And then he'll go, yeah, I mean, you never know. And I'll go money where your mouth is, big boy. And he'll go, I mean, it's a Super Bowl. And I go, I'll put 10,000. They're not going to do it. And then you'll go fine, 1000. So if you do that with the first person what you're betting on Nino's you go If I do this which I'm so much better than you your dog shit at this. I'm so great I win the weekend and they don't know I won the weekend you go alright, so you're afraid you don't think you could do this

So you're making them risk the initials. Yes, and then you just got to hit that putt Yes, and even if you don't, I mean, this is your best shot though. But what you then give yourself with the loss is, if I lose, I take off my clothes and I streak the golf course or whatever. Sure. We got to start wrapping up. Nino, what do you think of that, buddy? I like that.

First time there's been a side bet for the jacket. Never happened before in 13 years. Yes, I think that's your best bet, and that's a side bet for the jacket. Never happened before in 13 years. Yes, I think that's your best bet and that's a side bet for the jacket. Yep. Hey, does Gareth really fall for that same setup every year? You know. Yes. With the Super Bowl? You know. Well, every year. No, and no. It's not fall.

You almost got a tattoo of Brett Favre on your leg and I almost got nothing. A long time ago. Thanks so much for the call. Love you, boys. Bye, buddy. Love you, buddy. Thank you. Bye. Long time ago. Thanks so much for the call Love you, boys This episode of we're here to help is sponsored by Fylo Fylo has shows movies live TV for just $25 a month

You can even try it for free with a seven-day free trial I tell you if you got a seven-day free trial and you don't have a TV system you're liking try it for free Yes, there's no contracts. There's no commitments. There's no hassles. It's a better way to watch TV and they have a lot of shows Yes, we could highlight a lot that we like but why not just start a challenge Love after lockup by the way quiet on set on set, the dark side of kids TV. Did you see that? Yes. Crazy.

But don't sleep on love after lockup. I agree, by the way. You and I are so connected with this sort of stuff. Filo has more than 70 channels like BET, MTV, and AMC, and it's free for a week and it's only 25 bucks a month. There's no contracts no commitments No hassles just a better way to watch TV. That's actually right all that action Kevin You're moving around like a fucking drug. So why don't you sign up today skipping around?

Why don't you sign up today at philo.tv slash Gil sent me? That's right everybody. That's philo.tv slash Gil sent me to get 50% off your first bump H I L O dot TV slash Gil sent me to get 50% off your first month This episode is brought to you by Dewar Dewar is a clothing company That we've been very excited about as you can see I'm wearing the pants. I'm wearing the shirt. They are comfortable It stretches just right you're listening, go on YouTube just to see this goddamn fit. In the first one, the setup of that was I had gotten clothes for Gareth and we were going to surprise him.

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Garf Man, we've used this. Pretty straightforward because it like when you try to get appointment, it's just it eliminates the problem with trying to go see a doctor. Which is that you're like, oh my God, they don't have an appointment for six weeks. They're too far. They don't take my insurance. Whatever those things are, are eliminated by ZocDocs. ZocDoc is honestly great.

Gareth and I do both use it. So go to zocdoc.com slash H-T-H and download ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book a top rated doctor today. That's ZocDoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash H-T-H. That's ZocDoc.com slash H-T-H.

Hey, everyone, producer Kevin here. This follow-up is from the April 4th episode of the podcast called Rangers Range. It's the first call in the episode. Enjoy. Okay. Hello. Hello.

I'm sorry, who did you say one second to, please? Someone got scolded. Hi, you're on, we're here to help. This is a follow-up call and we heard you say one second off phone and we're just, we kind of want to know who you're talking to. Oh, I apologize. I, that, that was. Oh, Oh that's okay but who were you talking to? Oh that was my boss. You one second in my boss call. You're a bad lady. So this is a but a pig slip. One second Carolyn calling a

ridiculous call in podcast with two idiots. I have to let two morons know how it worked out. I got it. Turns out you're an emergency room nurse and the doctor is like, ah. Scalpel. One second. Who are you? And what's, remind us of your situation. Yes, my name is Elaine and I'm the one who had the mom that was willing to fight a deer.

Oh, yes! And remember, Gareth, we made the recording for her mom about the really scary deer. Oh, right. Yes, yes, yes. And how moms should not go in the woods. You're a ranger, right, Elaine? Yes, yes. So, park ranger, thankfully. All right. Park ranger, walk us through what happened. What happened? So just to be clear, your mother, like you were worried that your mother had a deer,

what did your mother want from a deer? She wanted to feed deers and walk around and find antlers and other people are feeding them and Elaine's job is to keep people away and then her fucking mom's gonna do it. So we made a fake kind of news broadcast about how there had been some crazy deer shit going on. Okay, go ahead.

Also now I know why you could say to your boss one sentence. Yes. Yeah, cause it's a bear. You're out in the middle of the woods, you're like this, anything, like all we got is time out here. Yeah, you're living in a tree like a Kepler elf. Basically. Okay Elaine, so what's up?

Yes, so the voice recording totally worked. She fell for it completely. I did some really good, yeah, I did some really good press like prior to sending the email. Like I called her a couple days before and we're like, dang, you're just crazy right now. And then sent the email and she completely fell for it she was telling all of her friends Feral deer like they she got a look out I have the crazy deer the only thing that she was skeptical of was Ranger Rick

Like then you guys used the name Ranger Rick and apparently that was some character of her childhood and she was like, really you guys have a Ranger Rick? I was like, yep, sure thing. Interesting, but she bought everything else. Yeah. Did you play, I'm now remembering at the end that we did an extra take where Gareth was really wild

Did you do the first one Kevin? Did you send her both? No, I think just okay. Okay, you just sent the good. Okay, never Was about the question how crazy your mom? Yeah The deer was like a shark or something All right, so Elaine you played this for mom All right. So, Elaine, you played this for mom. Mom bought it. Yes. And then what happened during the visit? Yes, she came out during the visit and it worked, but she was still just hunting more the woods for the deer shed. So definitely still staying away from the wildlife, but she still is set on finding a deer shed.

And I think this worked for this time, like this time around, but I called her last night and she's still like, no, I think I, I think I could fight a deer. I think I could take one. Like maybe next season I'll be doing it. So she's still set. Well, then I'll tell you what's going to happen, Elaine. Yep. Is next season we're making another one and we're now saying that that deer

Had some babies and there's about eight of them right now. Yeah perfect because what's happening here? What's happening here with your mom and it's a it's a classic situation But this is a wound that's too big for a bandaid So we just threw one thing of gauze on it, taped it up, and we held it for this trip, but that dam's gonna break. Yeah, definitely. And next year we're getting a bigger dam. She's got a white whale, I mean.

You know what we'll do next time, maybe, is, Kevin, when we do this again, let's have a special guest on it too. Maybe like Lamarne. Oh boy. And we'll see. We'll see how that one goes. And we'll start, maybe Elaine, every year, we'll heighten with your mom and see how far

we can get away with it until the dam breaks. That's hilarious. Every year we will up the stakes of this. I would suggest that in either the next one or the one after Ranger Rick has been ruined and killed by a deer. That's got to be like the third one. Yeah, yeah. Once we're starting to push it a little bit.

And I think, by the way, if we have Lamorne on the second one. It'll be over. We'll get to be like the third one. Yeah. Yeah. Once we're starting to push it a little bit. And I think by the way, if we have Lamorne on the second one, it'll be over. We'll get somebody else on the second one. Lamorne will be on the one where the deer attacks us during the broadcast. Right. Right. Yeah. We have to go on with Jillian Bell too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. Elaine, appreciate this follow up. This is just great. That's great.

Such good work in setting her up before. We're glad it worked a little bit on this one. And I mean, you just, we threw you an alley-oop and you dunked it. Yeah. And we will continue to do that. Yeah. Couldn't have done it without you guys. I appreciate it.

We will win. 100%. Couldn't have done it without you. And you couldn't have done it without us. Of course. You know what? Let me get a little bit nature and smart, but this is a symbiotic relationship. Ooh, not parasitic.

Yes, Elaine. Yeah, big word. We both benefit. Yes. Yeah, that's what we do here. Yes. Elaine, you're the best. Thank you.

Awesome. Thank you guys. You have a great rest of your day. All right. Bye-bye. Thank you, buddy. Elaine, you're the best. Thank you. Awesome. Thank you, you guys. Have a great rest of your day. Thanks. Alright, bye-bye.

Thank you, buddy. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson. And Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt. And the associate producer and editor is A.J. McKeon. Our social media director is Kaitlyn Tanwakeo. And our video editor is John De Bruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh.

And you can check out his music at oliverraleigh.com. That's oliverrallly.com. The album artwork is by James Fostike. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fostike, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to garethrentz.com. Additional artwork by Patty Holland. You can find him on Instagram at paddyholland2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com slash

year to help pod. And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.