We're Here to Help - 83: Wait Is The Caller The Villain?

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

Jake and Gareth talk to callers about a parking spot, being a young boss and an ambitious challenge at a baseball game. Later, the guys follow up again with the first caller from episode 59 “Spraying Mess” (first follow up on episode 67 "Rangers Range.")Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail] (Early Access, Bonus Calls and Q&As): Patreon.com/HereToHelpPodVIDEO: Youtube.com/@HeretoHelpPodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodTIKTOK: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. We are... And we're back, Jake. With a fun episode. I don't know the callers on this one, so I can't say it's a banger. But you are that confident that it's a good episode. I am as well. I don't think we've had calls that we haven't liked. Very few. In a while in a while very few This is a solo episode. Yeah, it's just the guys just the boys. I always like a solo episode. It always feels nice

It's uh, wayne's world without madonna, which is always enjoyable. That's right That's right. Just the guys not the movie just the guys in the basement and some of the sketches could be towards the end of the night We don't need to make a hundred million dollars at the box office now the pressures low these are just two guys going like sure we What it is I love way, oh Everything I loved it those guys did was the everybody that I? Everything I loved it. Those guys did was the everybody that I of that movie. The amount of times I saw that movie in the theater.

Like, remember when you would see movies as a kid and you would be like, I am that person in real life. And it was like, that's not sustainable. But I was like, does it matter? Unfortunately, I'm one of the way in the world group. So we're like, I am also I am not only these characters, I am this movie somehow. Kevin, you look very hunky today.

I mean, I know you're hunk of the show, but you, the green is working for you. What's going on with you? Well, you set me up perfectly because I had a kind of an existential crisis that I think has turned into something good. I went to the mall to get some new shirts, even though Dewar's been sending some nice ones. I went to the- That's a pro, Gareth. That's a pro move by the kids.

That is, yep. Very good, very good. Wiped my nose with some Kleenex at the mall. Had to look for some help on Zoc, Doc. I went to the fitting room, took my shirt off, started to take my pants off, hit my stomach in an angle in the mirror where probably three people on either side of me heard,

"'Nope!' And I just put my clothes back on. I went straight to the gym and I said, "'I'd like to buy 25 sessions with a personal trainer.' And they said, right this way. So I'm now doing three sessions a week with a personal trainer. Whoa.

So let me ask you, let me, this is big exciting news for the pod. This is big. This is big and I'm a little threatened, but go ahead. Let me ask you a question, Kev. Yeah. What's the goal here, big daddy? What are we trying to get to?

Do we have a number? Do we have a look? Do we have a pick we could take with our shirts off with a little bit of oil on it? What's the goal? I saw a number that I have never seen on a scale that I didn't like. And so I'm trying to lose.

What's that number Kev? Two zero zero. Okay. And you did 25 sessions is bold. That's an income. Okay. So that's, and then what are we hoping to get to by when? And so maybe as a show we can keep track of,

maybe there's a world if we don't hit that number or if we do. Yeah, something could happen. Yeah, like an oily pick where you're flexing in, I don't know, some sort of tight bottoms with a fan on you. I don't know, I'm just making this up as I go, but just a lot of oil, ideally. Kevin, listen to Jake, please,

because as you know, this is an advice show and Jake is trying to help you and I'm talking about not a little bit Of oil but the kind of oil that all right, buddy. We need to do outside the oil pitch a little bit Trust me Garrett. You're gonna want a lot of oil. It's gonna be oh I want it I just want to get us I want to get us here You're right. Okay with a little oil and then on the day on the day we you're at Greece That's why that's why it's a two-man pitch With a little oil and then on the day, on the day we grease this baby. That's why it's a two man pitch. That's such a good goal that if I don't hit it, I have to use a lot of oil in a picture.

Okay, so what number are we hoping by when, Kev? I think 180. I'm going to a wedding the weekend of my birthday, August 23rd in Vegas. I kind of want it to to be at 180 by August. Should I go once? August 1st? Yeah, then let's go 180 by August, is that like 10 pounds a month though? That's kind of a lot.

It's very possible. Just sign the dotted line, buddy. Here's what I'll say, Kevin. I don't think we go any lower than this because you are going to be building muscle. So you're not just crash-diving. This is Jujitsu Jake coming at you right now, Kevin. So if you hear this.

So if you want to do Jujitsu, Bill. No, no, no. 200. OK, you're right. Jake, stay in the pocket. Stay in the pocket. But you turned me. Stay in the pocket.

OK, you're right. Stop it. Oh, I'm going to rip his mouth off. No, I'm turned around. Jake. OK. What are you saying? He just broke a pencil like it was nothing, which it is.

So here's where we're at, because we gotta get out of this intro. 180 by my birthday, by my birthday, not August 1st. So August 23rd. Okay, and then if you do not hit it, do you agree to a photo with short shorts in your backyard with a bunch of oil that we can post? Yes.

Okay, and then if you do hit it, what's something that you guys gotta do? Pass. Okay. And then if you do hit it, what's something that Garfinite- But you guys gotta do it. Pass. Come on, buddy. Well, then we gotta go down to about 160. Live on earth with the rest of us. Yeah, but what is something you would like

that the Garfinite could do for your new studio? I'll throw it to you and I'll say you each have to bring something that you think I will be impressed by. I don't know what it is, but I'll let you- I like that. Let me just say, mine might be a pick of you oiled up in your backyard, and I might need to do a shoot.

And mine might be signing that pick. Yeah, but I agree. We'll figure it out in the day. We'll get you something really nice. So we got a thing. We are at 180 by August 23rd. And we'll do a weigh-in on the show. Great.

I'll bring a scale. That'd be fun. And we'll do a weigh-in on the show. Great. I'll bring a scale. That'll be fun. And we got us a little game, and we got a couple months to do it. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening and enjoying the show. You got a fun one today. There is a follow-up on this one, Kevin.

Yep. Enjoy the show. Hi, babe. Hi, babe. Hi, babe. Hi, babe. Hi, babe. Hi, babe.

Hi, babe. Hi, babe. Hello. Hi. It's happening. First call of the day. You feel that energy? It's happening. It's happening. Hi. First call of the day. You feel that energy? I do.

It's happening. It's happening. All right. Places. Three, two, one. Can we get your name, age, and where you're calling from? So I'm going to go with Christine. We actually outlawed the pseudonym, so we really...

Oh, officially. Yeah, we're illegally... No, I'm just kidding. All Christine yeah okay and I am from the Los Angeles area but I'm in the valley do it Jake thank you for doing it hey Christine thanks for being a fan of the show we appreciate you the valley is very clean that's enough for us name oh yeah welcome to the show Jake getting his morning Jack and Coke. Thanks, Anya. The guys like Stevie Ray Vaughn of podcasting.

And then I'm gonna need those Parliament lights, dear. Just the five. And then a little bit of the powder for the gum. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, don't put that on the radio. It's not the radio, it's the podcast. Hey, hey, hey. It's the podcast. Calvin.

Calvin. Calvin, whatever the goddamn name is, boy, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, You're our baby just like us couple look at us not about us. All right. What's going on after my whole routine about parliaments? Okay, so I am a college professor and I teach College classes at a high school as well as on the college campus. This seems like Garrett logic. I am a college professor But I teach at an high school as well as on the college campus. Hold on, this seems like Gareth logic. I am a college professor, but I teach at an elementary school. That's a pretty good.

That's a college school teacher. Look, she's a college kindergarten professor. They have these. OK. All right, so you're teaching college classes to babies. OK, got it. All checks out. All right, not a question so far.

And what are you teaching these little babies? AP stuff? What's going on? As in they make AP in their diaper and you change a P a and B C D's a P B alphabet all right Christine you're a college professor you teach high school kids Sometimes I think we're gonna pretend we understand what this means She means that she at sometimes she'll go to college and you'll teach the smarter kids or you'll teach like some kind of college.

Wouldn't that make you a high school teacher? No, because she's also, she's mainly at a college. Okay. Christine, can you? I'm employed, I'm employed by a college. I'm a regular college professor. But now they offer college courses to high schoolers and you can get credit for being like both places. When I was in high school,

they offered junior high classes to me, and I took them and didn't dominate. Which sucked. Being like, I'm at grade level, and they're like, for a seventh grader, I'm like, god damn, you got some smart seventh graders. I could buy cigarettes. These kids are smarter than me.

I have a bold beard. Okay, we get it, You're a college professor. The college pays you to teach high school kids. Where are we at? Christine from the valley who's only 37, you're just a little baby? A little baby. So I go to the high school in the morning and then I go to the college in the afternoon.

In the morning when I go there, it's really early, 7.30am. So I avoid the drop off, the student drop off line. and I get there super early There's no one in the parking lot. I park in the faculty lot at the far corner I'm fairly sure because it's been happening since September that there's a high school teacher there who thinks I'm taking her parking spot Okay, and she's gotten progressively more Aggressive at me without actually just coming out and saying,

you're parking in my parking spot. Ooh. What? And I've decided I'm gonna just keep parking in this parking spot because she gets, she's getting crazy. Why don't you, okay, let me ask two questions. The first is, what would make her think

she has ownership over the spot the second Why are you taking my parking spot? Gareth is that teacher this is weird. Let me teach the kids. Yeah, so why does yeah? Why does she think it's hers just because she was there first she seems like someone who's been teaching at the high school for decades Okay, but there's no like there's no like name Okay, but she's maybe been there for no like name. Oh, okay, all right She's maybe been there for years. You know what it sounds like like an ex Yeah, right you start dating somebody somebody comes around like I've been with her for 15 years. I don't care Roger

Yeah, yeah, it's she's not in there now. She just kind of okay, so she feels some kind of ownership And then what how is we call her Ruth? You know, let's call her Ruth. That's great What kind of name what kind of we're all loving Ruth. OK, what what how is it escalating? How are you feeling the tension come to a hotter boil? Good question. So originally she would just zoom in. And again, no one else is in the parking lot.

I'm in the far corner. She comes. So there's other open spots. Oh, it's completely empty because I get there so early. We would move by Ruth. Yeah. Oh, yeah This is out of her mind. So you go in an empty parking structure You take the far one Ruth zooms in gets mad squeezes next to you. Yes She has her like music blaring what kind of tunes? Yeah, what kind of tunes what kind of tunes? Is it like not like us by Kendrick Lamar?

That'd be amazing. No. This slaps. Are you Drake? Is she Kendrick? Yes. Sorry, I'm not doing this. Maybe.

All right. So what kind of tunes is Ruth Blaston? Honestly, it sounds like heavy metal. Nice. Oh my God, is that a surprise? Okay, nice. Okay. Wait, quick pause.

Are you a heavy metal guy, Kevin? Yes. No way. Okay, nice. Okay. Wait quick pause. Are you a heavy metal guy Kevin? Yes No way. Mm-hmm. And I'm jealous that Gareth is friends with the lead singer of lamb of God Oh, not only my friends of them what is cat videos back? What is lamb of God? It's a metal band Oh to me. So you like so when you were I found out you were a drummer. Mm-hmm Do you do heavy metal? I know I'm not nearly as talented enough. My friend is a heavy metal player and i'm like, let's jam and then he'll play like metallica and then i'm like Goom chat goom. Yeah So bad next to each other you liking heavy metal. Yeah is a shocking turn

It is it is oh, yeah, my best friend fully warped me into a metal head. I would say steely dan Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm giving steely Dan. Okay, so Christine so Ruth 60s is coming in blasting heavy metal Squeezing next to you floor is yours. What's happening? So when she gets out of the car She'll she'll stare me down. She's got her sunglasses on. She looks she looks really done up for a high school teacher I'm not gonna lie. She's got her high heels on fuck you I'm like the door stares me down. Okay, and then sometimes now more than it used to be she'll mumble Loudly at me, but I can't tell what you think I have rolled down the window a few times and then like is there anything okay? Yeah, what'd she say?

She either walks away or she she just kind of waves at me like like go away kind of wave Christine You're gonna get fucked up. Yeah, I Gotta say first order of business. You gotta keep that body. You're safe. Ruth is gonna eat Okay, Ruth is gonna eat you for dinner. Whatever we say number one priority We got to keep that 37 year old baby body safe. You got a 60 year old heavy metal lady driving fast, wearing heels. She's gonna eat you alive. She's gonna eat you alive.

And then a couple of times I've come back to my car and there's just a cone on the front and back of just my car. Oh my God. She's coning you? Here's my advice. Quit the job. Honestly, run.

Run. Start biking to work. You seen the baby reindeer? Oh my god. I mean, what is she? Just be careful, my friend. She's honing you. OK, so keep going.

Another time, because sometimes it's so early, and I don't have to teach for like an hour or so, I take a nap if I'm not grading. And so I'll just take a little nap or whatever, and there's been a security guard who will come up, and they know I work there like I have a hang tag like a faculty tag and they'll be like who are you why are you here and I'm like is there a problem he's like no I'm just making sure everything's cool and you think Ruth is behind this I think Ruth I definitely think so because I

that was like months into me I did being there I don I'm not opposed. I think Ruth is just saying to security There's a homeless lady sleeping in It's definitely got that like she's just calling the cops a lot. She's just one of those people. Yeah, okay And then there's one more but I don't I don't necessarily think she's behind us I did come out once that there was a big scrape on my bumper But it could have come at another time. Like, I could have just not noticed it. I like how you're legally protecting yourself there.

Yeah, you got a fake name, but you're still there some legalese. You're not an idiot, you are a college professor. Yeah, who goes to high schools? Yeah. Okay, so, and you alluded to this, your solution for this that you do not want to be pitched is park somewhere else. You want to this is the hill that you are prepared to die. Or

let's what is your specific question? Yeah, okay. Yes. What's it? No, my question is what do I do? Because I am not a super confrontational person, but I have my my biggest confrontation has been rolling down the window and being like, hey, is everything OK? By the way, that's bold. That's bold. Well, I got I was pretty mad. And that was like the most extreme that I've done so far in terms of actually talking to her. But yes, I want to know what to do.

I guess parking somewhere else is an option, but it's not my favorite option. Of course, it's not. Well, so I just want to know how do I resolve this because I'm going to have to keep going there if I'm doing this particular class. Let me ask you this. Are you looking for honey or vinegar? Because what's the difference? Okay, easy, bud.

What we could do is we can sweeten Ruth up. Parliament. Or what we can do is we can keep escalating it a little bit. Let me ask you a question. And I just gotta cut right to the meat of this, Christine. You and Ruth in a dark alley, no one's watching, it turns into a scrap, who's walking out of there winning? This is the Jiu-Jitsu.

Me. The day you are asking. Yeah, she's very arthritic. Okay. And I can knock her down off those heels. Okay, that's important to know. And I appreciate you saying that's Jiu Jitsu. But we're not suggesting.

No, no. But it's important to know. No. Because I'm not gonna lead you down a path if you say like, hey, I'm doing a safari, I'm in Africa and there's this really aggressive lion and the tour guide's saying don't play with its nuts, but I wanna throw a thing at its nuts.

I'm saying you're gonna get killed if you go, it's a house cat. And I wanna just push it. You're the kind of guy I wanna safari with. I was trying to toss stones at lion sacks. I just did one in San Diego, the San Diego safari park. Took a lot for me not to weird out a little bit. You get any nut shots or what was weirding you out?

The guy had a big ponytail who was riding it and was acting like the IT guy from the British office. Right. And I'm like, you know, we're just in a weird zone, my man, you're really holding court. Yeah. And you're being a little gnarly to the kids. Yeah.

And we're surrounded by- What do you mean, gnarly to the kids? He's being a little like- Kids would ask little questions and he'd have a tone where they'd be like, do the rhinos ever leave? And he would go, yeah, they grab a suitcase and walk out at the end of the day. And I'm like, hello, boy seven.

I like Christine back to you. I like Safari Jake. My wife didn't. Oh, I bet she did. I got a bunch of eyes. You be quiet, it's not about you. You're being wild. I like that it's not about you and your marriage.

That feels good for me. That's great to hear. Christine, about you and your marriage. That feels good for me. That's great to hear. So Christine, about you. Yes. You do not wanna just move spots, that's the thing. So here is my- No, I feel like she's, I don't think she deserves it at this point.

I kind of agree with you. I kind of agree with you. So here is my pitch to you. You get to work 15 minutes early or then earlier. When you're there, you sit on the hood of the car with a position that going to the safari shows dominance. Sure. When she parks next to you and mumbles, you say, Hey Ruth, what's up?

What are you mad at? She goes, You say, hey Ruth, what's up? What are you mad at? She goes, I can't hear you dear. What are you mad at? She goes, you're in my spot. You go, show me the sign. Because this is one, I think we gotta confront this. That's head on.

Which I don't think think I don't dislike that This problem is unique in that our caller is getting what they've already won if Ruth was calling I would have a different thing. I I like that. Okay. I'm also gonna suggest a few others here, okay Maybe get there early and maybe film from a distance her behavior towards your car I would also these security guards who keep fucking with you and maybe film from a distance her behavior towards your car. I would also the security guards who keep fucking with you. I would maybe like pull one of them aside and be like, hey, someone keeps putting cones like in front of my car. Can you figure out like how they're getting them? Yeah.

Where the hell they're coming from? I also just for shits and gigs, maybe we can escalate the bumper sticker game a little bit. We could maybe go with something where we put maybe a Lamb of God bumper sticker on there, see what that does to Ruth's psyche. Or you can get bumper stickers made. You can get your own bumper stickers made. And you can get five bumper stickers that go,

I park where I want, faculty life, you know. New kid in school, the cool kid in school. Yeah, yes, stuff like that that just is kind of very specific You're heavy metal socks Well, I was gonna say very specific but not specific enough where she can connect Okay, but you could very easily get those just those texts those texted bumper stickers Another one would be cone her car. Let's cone her car. I was just going to do that same zone.

Yeah. Keep going. Cone her car. And my last one would be get there early and pretend like you're in a panic and you're on the phone receiving some bad news and seem very agitated when she gets there. And when she gets there and gives you a look just go not today Ruth I can't today and just let that sit there. I've got one other one for you I think Gareth gave you some good heat but I got one more and that is parking her spot why because

it doesn't make any sense. Yeah it's very crazy. So you're in the corner spot. That's what she wants. She's in the one next to the corner. Take the one next to the corner. Oh, I got a nut. Then everywhere she goes the next day, parking her spot. And then she'll go, I don't even know what spot I want. And you go, you go left. I go left. You go right. I go. You're her goddamn shadow. How about I like that, right? I like that I like that we I that she might get to the older lady might go this Bitch is driving me crazy. Yeah, that goes to it's just a parking spot. I like that What if we if we want to get nuts? Yeah, I do

Why don't we over park in that spot? Take both take over a little bit of the other spot I take a both and I you know what else I do and I don't know why I Would do it but back it in. Oh, yes back in take both is aggressive. Here's the other one. I would Take your original spot and cone her spot. Oh fucking good So, you know what you could get a little caution tape too to make it official Yeah, so here's what we got. I like that. I I'm falling in love with the last dude Here's what we got Christine and we gave you some heat here, but now this is up to you

We got to figure out what you're gonna do the head on You're in a safari. You see a wild animal make eye contact film Ruth ask security Get involved in the bumper sticker game Park in her spot. She goes left you go left. You're her shadow cone her car Pretend you had an emergency on the phone and when she gets out say I can't today Not today, Ruth Take your spot, but cone her spot.

Back in and take both. Christine, Los Angeles, the Valley, 37, college professor who works at a high school. Hanging out at high schools. What are you gonna do? I think I'm gonna do a combination of some of these. I think I'm well I have I do always get there before her so I feel like I'm like she almost never beats me unless there's a like an issue so I feel like I can do a lot of things before she arrives to get things set up. Okay. I think

Probably I don't think I'm gonna sit on the hood of the car. I feel like that might be Too much, but I do think I could I don't know her name So I could definitely yell at Ruth at her and I think that would be pretty Insane. I don't think she'd understand how to do that. When I said Ruth, we weren't saying yell the fake, I don't know if you wanna throw the fake name at her. Let's let the sailboat sail. All right, let's go.

Floor's yours, Christine. Yeah, I don't know her name, but I do like the idea of shadowing her. So I just keep switching spots. You're a wildcat. And I think that will bother her. It will. Oh, it will.

Because this is already ruining her, it seems like it's ruining her morning every morning. Question for you, big dog, I just gotta ask. Why are we ruining this older lady's life? What, now you ask? Well, because I know, because I Just got a tow the first two minutes I just got a tone from our dear friend Christine that she's like I'm gonna call the old lady Ruth And then I'm gonna do this that's gonna ruin her day

Want full you are full court pressing you are going I'm just wondering what we're pitching here my god Well, we're pitching here because this is what she was. It's just it's a good under her skin. What's your goal here is the goal to break her is no, I want to break her and this and her. I want her to die. Not our goal. We are going now. Our goal is to end this weird parking dynamic, not make a 60-year-old lady miserable.

We crush her. No, we don't. We want to crush her. So Christine, are we on the same page of the goal? We will try to end her. I really tried in the beginning to be nice. I'd smile at her. We tried.

I tried. Like I said, I rolled down the window, and I was like, hey, is everything OK? And she just mumbled and walked away. And so I'm just now at the point where this has been going on for so long that I'm like, well, I don't know if I should just give up or if I should write. Okay. So walk us through what you're going to do and just take this a little bit of advice. Let's not be insane. Yeah. I'm gonna take this with a little bit of advice. Let's not be insane, yeah?

Let's try to be kind people. I still want my job. Yeah, we're in a bad situation, and we're trying to get out, but we are all citizens of planet Earth together. I like the sobriety that's hit you at the end of this call. Well, I just imagined a six-year-old lady calling me

and going like, I'm just having the bad day, what happened? Well, my job's really hard, but this fucking lady started taking my spot, and now she shadows me, she's harassing me, she's calling me Ruth, she's staring at me like she's a goddamn lion, and if I'm in an alley with her, she could beat me up, and I'm gonna go, I hate Christine! Yeah, well listen, we never know if we're pitching

the villain of the story, really. That's true, we think the caller is the protagonist. The caller is always the hero. That's a turn on our show. Christine, so pitch this again, but you're the protagonist, right? You're not the villain. No, I'm definitely the hero of this story. I'm doing my best.

But remember, the villain would tell you they're the hero to convince you to get the information they want. But also, every story needs a hero, not all heroes wear capes. So walk us through this one. How are we getting out of this? With the goal is I would be happy if you and Ruth could pleasantly smile at each other in the hallway and laugh about this. That's honey.

That's the honey approach. Yeah, that's the honey approach. Yes, and I did try the smiling because I'm just not a very confrontational person, but the passive aggressive approach has been working better for me. Okay. So walking in her spot, walk us through what we're doing here, how we're getting out of your floor is yours with a little bit of hint of sugar. Okay.

Well, I'm just going to, I think I'm going to stick to the shadowing, but I think I don't know how consistent I'll be because I'll probably forget the next day, but I'm going to maybe park just when those two spots. So then some days she does get her spot. Right. That's right. You know what I'm going to pitch? I got a new pitch and it's going to be fast. Kevin, I know we're out of time. Here's what I'm going to pitch. You pretend Ruth and you made a deal and it's every other day. So you get your way half the time, but we give it to Ruth the other half. So you are just in a relationship that you have decided to be very cool about. So one day she gets the spot.

The next day you do. She doesn't have to know that you made this deal with her, but she did. And guess what? You walk out of this half the time you got her spot half the time you got yours And god damn, maybe you could end up being friends. I don't know how this story ends What do you think about a 50 they won't be friends who cares? But what do you think about going 50 50 half the time you take the spot half the time you give it to her Just see what happens see if the temperature changes Yeah, I think that's a good a good policy and then I might I might I might do something with the bumper sticker game

You're a wild thing. This is what I love Jake keeps trying to lead you in a direction. Yeah. Yeah, I do get that I think I'm gonna do a little bit of what you said, a little sugar in the cure car. And I think that's the move to pull for me. So Christine, really fast, and then we gotta go, what would the bumper sticker say? I think I like the, I park wherever the fuck I want. Woo, all right, thank you for the call.

You are the villain, my friend. We can't take the spice out of a jalapeno, nature just made it that way. Christine, we appreciate the call, keep us posted. Good't take the spice out of a jalapeno. Nature just made it that way. Christine, we appreciate the call. Keep us posted. Good luck. Thank you, guys. All right.

Bye. See you. Bye. Bye. And we are brought to you by Dell. That's right. Dell, look, seasons change. Why not your tech?

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and use the code help at checkout. That's H.E.L.P. at hero dot co. H.E.R.O. dot co. lp at hero.co, h-e-r-o dot c-o. Hello. Hello. Hi. Welcome to the show. My name is Jake.

You're on with Gareth. You're on with Kevin, who does heavy metal apparently. Yep. Or wants to, likes it, becomes a Gareth. Hi. Hi, what's your name please? My name is Taylor. Taylor.

Hi, Taylor. How old are you, Taylor? I'm 28 years old. And where are you calling from, Taylor? St. Louis, Missouri. Ooh, beautiful. St. Louis, Missouri, okay. And what's your favorite band, Taylor? My favorite band is Paramore.

Oh yeah, sure. What's Paramore? Paramore, the best band ever. They have the only female lead singer in the rock hall of fame. Cool. Can you give us a taste of your favorite Paramore song on the spot? Taylor, three, two, one. Don't be self-conscious.

Just let it rip and go. Whoa, I never meant to break, but I got him where I want him now. Oh, Taylor, you got a beautiful voice. What's the problem today? Beautiful voice. a beautiful voice. Beautiful. The problem today. Not your voice. Not the same. Not that angel pipe. And it's not delivering on the spot with pressure.

Now you're ready to go. I hate to brag. We're in a studio and there's a band recording a podcast in a studio next to us. And they are friends with Paramore. Oh, how quickly. Transfer me over to them. All right. Listen, Taylor, you were doing great. You jumped ship on our show so fast and so hard.

It does hurt. Alright, Taylor, what's going on? Yeah, so I actually am graduating with my master's degree this Saturday. Okay, wow. Yeah. And I got a new job that I start on May 20th and it's a development director so I'm like head of a department it's small department but it's department and everyone like in the department and in the office that is kind of like under me

for lack of a better word is older than me and I'm very awkward with older people so I'm trying to figure out how can I like gain rapport or like establish myself as a boss, even though I'm younger and kind of childish. Ooh, that's a very interesting predicament. It is an interesting one. Clean. Have anything, have you met the people?

Yes, I have met most of them. I've met my team that I'll be directly supervising, but I haven't been formally introduced to the other employees that will also kind of be working under me. Has anybody given you any pushback or is this all in between your ears? It's definitely all in between my ears. Everybody's actually been really nice and excited. So it's a neat picture. So then I got a first beginning of a pitch from your...

Wait, let me ask one question. What is the age difference? Like, what's the biggest age gap and what's the smallest? The biggest age gap for someone on my team is probably like 14 years. She's like mid to late 40s. She's a kid. She's in the calculator. Okay. And there are other people closer to you obviously someone a couple years younger than you or older than you as far as I've met everybody in like the admin office. No one's younger than me the only person around my age

Actually is leaving and I thought would be friend Okay, I'm ready to pitch Taylor go Okay, I'm ready to pitch Taylor go Okay, I'm ready to hear it. So you're 28. The oldest is 45 You're a little bit nervous that they're gonna view you as a kid and it's gonna be a little weird cuz you're a little awkward Yeah, oh, yeah, really awkward. Let me tell you the saddest part about being 45 We think we're 28 look at the way Gareth and I are dressed. I don't know why I have to take shrapnel I'm just sitting here. I'm looking at you, honey. Stop doing it and don't call me honey. Call HR, sweetheart.

You dress like that, you're going to get it from me. What are you? You dress like that, kiddo. You're going to get it from me. Excuse me. You little flirt. I'm not flirting. I'm furious.

You're begging for it. I am not. I'm not giving it to you. You're married with kids. Yeah, I'm married to that and these are my kids. So here's my pitch to you, Taylor. Do a thing when you're all talking, where you say something like, well, we're all the same age.

OK, treat everybody, the 45 year olds, as if you think you guys are all basically the same generation adjacent. The band you like is classic rock. We're not taught. You didn't say like, what's your favorite music? all basically the same generation adjacent. The band you like is classic rock. We're not talking, you didn't say like, what's your favorite music? You didn't go like, this new thing that's not electronic, it's something new. It's somebody who plays a Nintendo Switch

and then bangs my head against a brick wall while I'm doing TikTok. And someone my age goes like, oh, for fuck's sake, just hit me in the head with two bricks. You're into classical rock. That's what I imagine Paramore is. That's what it sounded like. Yeah. Yeah.

So your taste isn't the taste of something that's so new world. So just show that to you, the difference between 45 and 28 is something on a calendar. Gareth, I like it. I like it. I think. But I think part of what, you wanna have like a extra layer just to kind of get into this situation. Let me ask you this, I got a couple bad ones, as usual. What is the uniform for this job?

Casual, what are we wearing? What do you think uniform? It's business casual. You think they're in overrides? Pretty much whatever I wanna do, I guess. Whatever you want? Overalls and gloves, Gareth. I'm in the middle of my investigation. You think they're an over-all? Pretty much whatever I want to do, I guess. Whatever you want? Overalls and gloves, Gareth. I'm in the middle of my investigation.

You haven't had a job in too long, my king. I'd like to be left alone. First of all, I was sexually harassed on this episode by my co-host. I need a minute. That's all I'll need. I think maybe we throw in... I don't need much longer than an hour. I can't believe what's happening. I can be done in about 30 seconds with your little body.

Oh my god My god, I like the redhead Cry the ways like I get to travel to Ireland and I'm staying right here, right? You're in Los Angeles and knock it off, but if you know me for 20 years I feel like I'm outside of Dublin, you know, you're not stop saying honey and making your jaw push forward It's like a dog with an underbite. Okay Listen, sorry about that Taylor. It's just there's some he's asking for I am NOT I'm demanding it's about Taylor stop I'm trying to get into the Taylor part of it. Keep but your eyes are not keep going. They're not

You don't tell me to shut up after all that Taylor sorry about that. Don't worry. This is just a couple of guys going through something that's pretty abnormal. No, I get it. I would say maybe- You're a good boss. I would say maybe you throw in a couple old rock shirts. You like rock. Cool.

Why don't you wear a couple Rolling Stone shirts? Okay. Another one. Do you wear glasses? No, but I could. Now you do. Fake glasses age you up a little bit. I actually think this is pretty good.

Give you a sense of authority. Just wear fake glasses for a little bit and then you can this is pretty good. Give you a sense of authority. Just wear fake glasses for a little bit, and then you can get contacts or LASIK in the heads of people. The other thing I would maybe do, just to kind of give yourself an ease in, when you get there, why don't we all go out to dinner or lunch? And everyone goes out, and you can pick somewhere that's not like TGI Fridays. Pick a place that's OK, that some of the older people will like, and maybe buy a round of drinks, something like that,

but kind of establish yourself as the boss, but you're cool about it. I got something too, Taylor. And I think we're gonna be kind of in the same thing. You got a partner? Yeah, I have a girlfriend. Okay, so I would potentially. Is she your age? Yes.

Damn. I would potentially fake the girlfriend, have a photo of an older woman, a woman in her late 40s, early 50s. Kathy and I just put a photo of it on your desk. I'm not afraid if she's a silver fox. And somebody goes like, oh, who's that? And you go like, that's my my girlfriend. And they go like, goes like oh, who's that? Did you go like this my my girlfriend and they go like actually Oh Taylor's What if I just put her in an old person filter? Yes sure yeah

Flags and get one of those old-timey Western photos no, but I mean this Taylor I would do it. I would do that for real or I would maybe just Salt-and-pepper her hair a little bit You can do a little bit of like a, you could do baby powder to get there, that effect. Take a photo and then if they meet her in eight months, they're not gonna say like, you look so much older in the photo.

You don't mention her age, but let her dress older. Let her look older. Put her in some glasses. Put her in like, kinda like a 50 year old's outfit. And if she ever comes in, have her just kinda walk with a bit of an arthritic curve and offer hard candy to people. Is in real life, is she older than you? By a couple months. Yes!

So you can, this is what I was hoping. I like older women. Now you can say things like, yeah, I mean my partner's older. Yeah. Okay. If somebody makes a young comment where they go like hey a 28 year old You're just a kid you go like you sound like my girlfriend who's always I I'm with an older. I'm an old soul. Yes But you then have a photo and they go like that cuz I can throw her into the bus

Yes, then the vibe is from the workers. She's 28 going on 50. I also like lady She's I like what I also like about your pitch is that there is an opportunity for how you decorate your space to age you up a little bit again in your preferences and personality. I think so too. You could just you know your favorite movie you could hang a like put a tootsie poster in your office. I've got a pitch on that.

Can you say that again but with your shirt off honey. All right. You know what Taylor Jake's going to finish the call. I have to go to HR for a half-hour meeting. But, Taylor, I think we're serious on that. It'll probably be longer than a half-hour after all that. All right, Taylor, I don't need you involved in this part of the show, just to be clear. So I think here's our pitch.

I say you age up your girlfriend, you age up how you dress at first, and you kind of put some, 40 year old stuff in the office. So like the bands you like. Yeah. I like what Gareth was saying about like, you know, an Aerosmith shirt. So people go, oh, you like that. And you go, yeah, I'm more into that kind of music. And then that's it. You let that ride. And that's enough of a seed to the geezers in the group to go, she's pretty cool. Yeah. She's one of us. I also think fake in the group to go. She's pretty cool. She's one of us.

I also think fake glasses. I agree with all the changes. Yes. So, Taylor, what are you going to do? I'm liking them all, honestly, so I might do them all. I always wanted glasses, but I have good vision. So it's just an excuse for me to start wearing fake glasses. Of course it is. And I'm down for that.

I also think that it'd be hilarious to make my girlfriend look old, just as a bit in my own life. Yep. Agreed. That would be hilarious. And I think the dinner thing is definitely a good thing. I would feel weird

because I would feel like I'd have to pay for it. And I'm still like a broke child, but I'm sure I could save some. Figure it out because I do think you do have to pay for it and I'm still like a broke child but I'm sure I could save some. Figure it out because I do think you do have to pay for it if there's a group dinner that someone throws together there's like a work thing and then they go like should we split the bill in eight parts you're like or just don't do this. Yeah yeah I would just want to pay maybe I'll get a company card. I would get a company card. That's great but I got I think- I got one more too. Okay.

What do you carry? Do you carry a bag with you to work or places? Either a backpack or like a giant purse. Okay. I'd like a giant purse. Like you said giant. I would maybe go to the Goodwill or Salvation Army and get one of these pink fuckers from like 1980.

A big boy. Get a big boy just for the first couple weeks. That also along with the glasses kind of gives you an air of like a grandma. You're a big boy with a big boy just for the first couple weeks that also along with the glasses kind of gives you an air Of like a new grandma with a big pink bag you better watch your mouth You want to stop it my good you stop it. You're not talking about my pink bag anymore Big boy Gus this stuff gonna be big boy Every year you'll find I'm gonna start eating you Jake all right That is a first

And deserve I think you're in a good zone also keep in mind keep in mind that They don't they don't think of you as that much younger But if you do all these I think you're you're gonna win for sure I agree I think it'll I think it'll work and I think again. I'm gonna age up my. Yeah, I'm not a month into this is not gonna matter anymore. That's reassuring Yeah, thank you before we get ready a Taylor I just want to apologize to you to the community to the listeners my behavior has not been appropriate What was wrong with your behavior? I? Made a joke of sexually harassing you because you're good-looking

All right, and then going forward, are we gonna see this shade again? Because I don't- Depends on how we both act. Depends how I act. All I did was sit here and try to give someone advice. It's 100% my fault. I will make the adjustment.

Okay. I'm asking you not to wear doer clothes though. Doer. Because when you're in doer. When you're in doer, you're gonna wanna do him. Taylor, you're in good shape, but can we get a photo of what you do with you and your girlfriend? Yeah I will definitely show you my old girlfriend. That's what we're hoping for. Alright Taylor good luck keep us posted. Thank you so much.

Thanks. Hello. Hi there what's your name and age and what's going on? My name's Cam. I'm 29. OK. And I just have a quick a quick question of ethics for you guys. Oh, boy. We're we're deaf. Keep in mind, a lot of times we advise people to lie their way out of situations. It's it's a real quick one. OK, let's go. OK, so I'm doing a challenge with my buddies here coming up.

The 999 challenge. Are you guys familiar with that? No. Okay. So during a baseball game you eat nine hot dogs and you drink nine beers in nine innings. Fun. Okay, that sounds possible. I've been to so many games. I've never heard of 999.

I haven't either. Okay. I've definitely drank way more beers than that. I don't think I've ever had nine hot dogs in a sitting. Yeah. Okay. So 999.-ups. Yeah. Okay, so nine nine nine three nine. Yeah Have you ever heard of the 22 thrown out club 13 three eight?

Alright so keep going sir nine nine nine Okay, so it's coming up here. There's a there's a baseball game my buddy sent and my question is It's gonna be two dollar dog night at the local ballpark Yeah, I'm sure they're high quality. So where are you from man? You guys really good. Where are you from? Yeah, I'm from Albuquerque, New Mexico Oh, wow, not one and is it the local ballpark? Is it a minor league affiliate? Is it independent ball? What are we talking? Yeah, it's a minor league affiliate. We're we're the ice it's Rockies right now fun. Is it single double or triple should be triple? I believe fun Eric Edelstein and I used to announce games every once in a while for the Bakersfield Blaze

Which I think is a double a there's a movie. Yeah, it was very he's done it a lot I can that tracks and then what he called he's like he's like brother It's worth it. And we went there and we were sitting in the booth and I was getting half cocked, he was driving. So just doing a lot of like, that's a nice looking kid at second base. And Eric being like, because Eric is an announcer.

He used to do Gonzaga basketball where he'd be like, he sure is, that's Scott Williams. Stands at five foot seven. And Eric is like, like Marger. Yeah, right, right. Alright, so go ahead. 999, the isotopes. So 999, I guess my big question is, regarding to the ethics of the challenge,

to keep up with the spirit, am I allowed, in your guys' mind, to front load the hot dogs, front load the beers, can I crush five in the first inning? Yeah, absolutely. No, no, no, no, no. You know what I mean? No, no, no. Hold on, this is the right call. This is the right call. Yeah. Sweetheart, you can any way you do the nine. The thing is not called one one one four nine. Times nine. It's called nine nine nine you if you want it sweetheart eat nine hot dogs nine buns

Then nine beers yeah, you can co-biased you can Joey chestnut this if you want This is you can dip the buns in the beer you ever see those food eating competitions I'm saying whatever you got to do. Yeah, just get through there. Yeah, why why would you get him down? Why do you think that this would not work? It seems like ethics. Yeah, you really are. The idea of it seems to be every one, the idea that there's a man calling to see if he can eat nine hot dogs and nine beers over nine innings being like, what's the right way to do it?

But here's my question to you. If you were going to go your own path, what do you think the best move is? If you were gonna go your own path, what do you think the best move is? I think personally, now that I know I'm allowed to do it, I would do front loads of hot dogs, get four or five in the first couple innings, crush some beers. I think the beers are gonna be the easiest part.

I agree, but guess what's gonna be the hardest part? Guess what's gonna be the hardest part? Yeah. The bun. I was just gonna say, if you're doing doing the bun that's gonna expand once the beer hits So if I were you I you know I think whatever you do you probably want to be wrapping up the nine part of the hot dogs and be around beer seven by Like the fifth or sixth inning I got a pitch. Oh, I

Say you do not eat. I like this pitch don't eat from about 4 p.m. The next day do that intermittent fasting Yeah, so you are fucking hungry. Yes, then get the nine hot dogs. Just eat the meat Those nine hot dogs. This is just imagine sitting next to this guy He's got a lap full of buns and you're like, hey buddy. My kid is just trying to have a normal day literally ruining life for my family But you could fly through nine hot dogs. Yes. And I'm talking about, it wouldn't even be hard.

I could eat nine hot dogs without buns, without even blinking. I feel like I've eaten like five hot dogs at a baseball game before. Oh great, without thinking. Just without thinking, without trying to. At this point. I'm the only thing I'm competing against is myself.

My life expectancy. My personal standards which I know. Just without thinking without trying to do at this I'm the only thing I'm competing against myself my life my first When my heart's gonna explode so I would crush those dogs Then I would put the buns in a bag. Okay, so bring a bun bag then Midway through your hot dogs you can have one beer, but you're only having it for taste. At that point, you're inning two, you got nine hot dogs in your stomach, one beer. It's quite an inning. At that point, I want you to take a little bit of mustard,

a little bit of salt, and I want you to put it on the buns and rip them up into bite-sized bits. So pigeon the buns up with mustard. Yes. Now, you're in a eight in game called fucking drink a bunch of beer have a weird bread mustard salt stack. I would just start pounding both and get them in you early. Everything. But either way ethically you're clear no matter what. Yeah. Just get them in you. You got nine innings. Nine is the time limit. How do you win 999?

If you and me are competed? You have your philosophy for nine nine nine. I got mine. I'm fucking I told you how I'm doing mine by ending four I'm drinking my fourth beer enjoying myself in the hot albuquerque Sun, and I'm eating weird bun bites listen I don't hate your policy to me I'm just like you know like having a bag for my crushed up buns with mustard like kind of like making it a weird Yeah, it's like I'm not gonna meet a woman, yeah, I may as well eat it with chopsticks. Let's just fucking blow the roof off this place. Like if you watch those eating competitions, you gotta get it down fast.

So I would just get the food in you as quick as possible. That's why I get it in as quick as possible. But it's gonna expand in you. But I mean, again, at some point, you're gonna be pounding those buns anyway. That's true. So stop at title. It's not even an episode That's true. So, stop it, title. Name of your memoir.

Okay, so just pound those, you're gonna pound those buns. So I think just finish early. What you don't wanna do is start with three hot dogs, have two beers, and start, you're gonna have to pound pretty fucking quick, in my opinion. Another name of your memoir. That's the sequel. That's the- Pound quick.

You're gonna have to pound really fast in my opinion. In my opinion. We appreciate the call buddy. Good luck. Thanks Kim. Good luck. Let's know how it goes. Yeah, yeah.

I appreciate it guys. Bye buddy. Bye. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Kleenex Ultra Soft Tissues, your ally to help tackle your allergy symptoms this season. Garf, we've said it, but if you're gonna buy Kleenex, buy Kleenex. Well, yeah, if you're gonna wipe your nose with anything, go with your... Do you have allergies?

I do. Yeah, I get horrible, horrible allergies and there's nothing worse than when you look like you're WC Fields. It's not cool. It's not a good look. You're like, hey, babe, I was outside. I ran around the corn a little. I will say, since they've sponsored us, I have started buying the boxes.

Yes. Well, that's what we're really saying is we're saying like, it's a big difference. Yeah, it's a big difference. Just Just remember don't be red-nosed guy So Kleenex ultra soft tissues are hyper allergenic and the allergists approve if you use them, you know, it's just a good Kleenex We don't have to sell you Kleenex. You know what it is. So for this allergy season grab Kleenex and face allergies Hey everyone, producer Kevin here. This next follow up is the second follow up of one of our callers. The first one is episode 59.

It is the first call from the March 7th episode called Spraying Mess. And then if you'd like to hear the first follow-up with that caller is episode 67 from April 4th called Rangers range so if you'd like to listen to both or either of those as a refresher go for it enjoy. Hello how's it going there? Good how's it going there? Good. What is it?

It's me it is Connor and the guy who called about the room. Connor weird roommate. So called about the room. Connor. Weird room. Dude. So this is our third. I know. I'm like, so Connor, just people probably know you now. You're a friend of the show at this point.

Connor, will you set up your first two calls? The floor is yours. The first situation, the second situation, and then where we're at. So the first situation, I, I moved down to Florida for a job and I had to get an Airbnb rental. And the first rental I was rooming with two senior citizens, Roger and Cindy. They were not a couple, but Roger was very much into cleaning the common area for himself. Cindy had backed off and I was calling in to see if I could figure a way out to get this area back from the senior citizen. The

second call was about Roger and Maria, who were two new roommates that moved into this house. And Roger, I mean, Roberto, it was Roberto. Roberto, Roberto. Oh, right. It was Roberto Maria. Right. And Roberto didn't speak a lick of English and he would go around. He was your buddy.

He was, yeah, he was a nine finger construction worker and Maria was in there trying to like really make the place her own and kind of put people at odds in the house and Roberto and I were not feeling it. Quick question, Connor. This is a one bathroom place, yeah? You're all sharing one, John? This house, no, I had my own bathroom.

Okay, respect, it changes it. Yeah, that's a big change. Okay, keep going. They shared their own, yes. Okay, God bless. Anyway, now I am calling now for the third time where I have now been to a new house with new people What do we got this? Well, I left the other house after Roberto left. He completed his construction job

It's an excellent Costco. By the way, I'd recommend it to anybody. Thank you very much. Shout out Costco construction somewhere in Florida. Yeah, he gets it then Maria and I are there and within just about like two hours of us being the only two people in the house She wants and will they won't they started a fucking will they won't they of all the ages? He wants to start a cleaning schedule for the bathrooms that I do not use ah Between you and her The do you want to like part? Yeah participate in cleaning the bathroom that I do not use Do you want her to clean yours at that point? I was basically just out I was like oh

I was kind of taken back when she asked and she's like oh Or you could have me just do it by myself And I was like, okay, Maria. What's what's going on here? And so anyway, she ended up that was the final straw I immediately went on Airbnb and tried to find a new place to live And get it. I have now found this place It's on the road. It's a traveling circus. I have to wipe my roommates ass. Yeah, it's good.

I'm sorry. I sleep with the elephants and one lion, but life has been good. I highly recommend the freight train with a merman and, uh, so the new place is a new place is with a 75 year old pest control man who is a deep state conspiracy believer and the only thing else he loves more are Tik Toks and smoking cigarettes. Your picks and roommates, my king. Good Lord. Yeah.

It is. How about a couple of 25 year old geeks just looking for somebody to chip in a little bit Yeah, don't those exist near college. I mean honestly, that's not Connor aren't you gonna find that's not Connor. It's not Would be a fish out of water and he couldn't breathe there he walks in he sees a 24 year old girl going like Hi, I'm just he's like get me out of here He sees one guy an 80 year old guy with two fingers smoking a cigarette. And he just goes, I see a roommate. I'm home.

He's a 77 year old man. It's like, sometimes when I run the garbage disposal, my nipples squirt. And he's like, Hey buddy, as he's driving, if there's a building and one of the windows has smoke coming out, he's home. It's like, there's always building and one of the windows has smoke coming out, he's home. It's like there's always a new pope. Yeah. So 75 years old pest control sig smoker. I know who these people are before I get in.

Well, Connor, look, it looks like you're the light for the weirdo mods. Can we be honest? Yeah. But so an Airbnb you're going you're not paying before you. You go and you meet, correct? Yeah. but so an Airbnb you're going, you're not paying before you, you go and you meet, correct? Yeah. No, it's you book it and then like they say, interesting. I gotcha.

But your dice rolls are gold. So, yes, that's right. Keep going. And anyway, this guy also has a roommate. And this roommate is he's a snowbird. He comes down to Florida from Minnesota during the winters. Okay, he does. But he himself described it as he doesn't leave the house.

That's not great. How old is this cat? This guy is about 50. Okay. Young guy. Young guy. Yeah, he's a kid. Yeah. A little puppy dog. Young guy. Yeah.

He's a kid. Yeah. Little puppy dog. Is he a silver fox or do you still have color up there? Little puppy dog. No, he is a silver fox. Absolutely. Okay.

Well, some people go gray early. What's his vibe? His vibe is very much like the original Cindy vibe. He came out of his room twice. The one time was when I asked him if I needed to move my car for him, he himself said, I don't really leave the house. So you're fine. I think, okay. And 70, Cindy 2.0 and 75 SIGs. He basically back to Roger and Cindy. I am. And I guess this time with this version of Roger, and I we've been having a food feud and you could call it I guess

where he likes to make himself a lot of food for himself there and then he kind of realizes he made a lot and then he offers it to people and So the first time he said, oh, would you want to add like some spaghetti? I was like sure I'll have some spaghetti I didn't like how he made his spaghetti, but I had a few bowls and I was like, all right, I'm going to be like, you said bites or bulls. Is it bulls?

What are you going to do? You're going to have just the one, one ball and say, thank you. So most people one bowling out. Yeah. If you don't like it, you have to play it up a little. You got to give him some status. You have one bowl.

I got to tell you from Connor, from Roger's point of view, Phil's point of view, he might be calling in saying, I made some spaghetti. I offered it to my kid roommate. He had multiple bowls. Kid housed it. I offered him a bowl. Yeah, he wanted it. He had said, get the bowl. He said, get another bowl. I said, OK, I'll get a bowl. He wanted, he had said, get the bowl.

He said, get another bowl. I said, okay, I'll get another bowl. Okay, so you need a bunch of bowls of spaghetti. And so then after that though, every once in a while he'd make himself food. But when he does like the spaghetti, he dumps a lot of olive oil on it. And that wasn't for me.

I wasn't a big fan of olive oil. Six bowls later, you're like, I don't like this. Yeah. Can I finish it? Yeah. I'm gonna eat this entire cake, but I didn't like it too much butter. So then on, I'm always bringing in my own food to eat

and he cooks the food before I get there. And every once in a while he's like, oh, do you want some food? I got it in the fridge. And I was in a while, he's like, oh, do you want some food? I got it in the fridge. And I was like, no, I got my own food, thanks. He goes, oh, well, if you want it, it's there tomorrow. I'm like, okay, that's fine. Tomorrow comes around, I brought back some food.

He hears me come in and he's like, oh, I can just put it in the oven for you right now. He doesn't know that food I was talking about. Yeah. This is becoming a weird guy. It's strange. Why does he want to feed you? You're just a roommate from Airbnb. It's like a good problem and not a problem, but it's a weird problem. But I got to tell you, if I'm Connor, no Megusta.

Yeah. Cool it. I don't like your weird food, man. Yeah, it is a bit hard. And it's not shared economics. It's not like we all pitch into a fun. I buy my food, you buy your food. We just share the fridge, my king.

Yes, but he gets somewhat funny passive aggressive when I turned him down there. Give us a taste of what that passive aggressive vibe feels like. So I come back, he's like, oh, I'll put it in the oven for you. I got some food. I don't know, I've got some Panera.

And he kind of just stares at me and he goes, I made a lot of food, Connor. I'm like, I understand though. Like, there's gonna be a lot to put away here. I get that though. He's like, you know, I don't even know if I have the fridge space to put all this food away. I'm sorry to hear that though.

Then he starts like doing some big moaning and groaning. What kind of food is he favoring? Noodles. He- Is it noodles? Like, you know what? The other day he made a deep-fried pork shoulder, I believe he called it. Jesus fucking Christ.

Yeah. That's- This guy's an animal. Okay, so we're seeing the situation there. Cindy 2.0, you don't see. Philly's trying to fatten you up for the kill. What do you think, Connor? Where are we at on this one? What are we going to do? Well, if he's also fattening me up, he's also trying to sweat me out too, because he doesn't turn on the AC in this house. So, and we're in Florida.

It's not great. He's full of pork shoulder and sweating. What a disgusting situation. You got to sweat the shoulder out. Holy fuck Connor. What are we going to do here? How do we get out of this one? You guys stay.

I don't know. I think we're okay here. You do? Yeah, I do. I think that it's like, I think you're okay. I think what you could do is you could say you're trying to lose a little bit of weight before the summer and be very pleasant in that way. Yeah.

Maybe pick him up a little something from Panera one of these days hand that off to him kind of a mea culpa Yeah and then I think what we have with you Connor and I want us to preserve the honesty of these situations because it's so Great is we just need to keep knowing what Airbnb holes you find yourself in because it is even if it's Boring, it's interesting. Yeah. I mean, you really are. You play roommate roulette and it is fantastic. So Connor, what are you going to do here, my guy? What's the move?

Are you going to just grit and bear it or you want to move here? I mean, I might have to start looking at the moving. But do you like, oh, how about this? How about this, Connor? I got an idea. Where is the switch for the AC? The AC, it's near, it's pretty close to his room actually. But not in his room?

No. And do you guys share the utilities bill? I'm sure it's a third, a third, a third. I'm free. I mean, whatever it is, I just pay for the room. So yeah, probably. Yeah, I bet it's included. So it's included. So you know what I do if I'm you and you walk in, turn that bitch on. That's what I do. And you know what else I do when he offers you food, you don't have to be nice about it.

You just say, no, thanks. And he goes, well, there's a lot of food. And you go, that sounds like a you problem, not a me problem. Wow, Jake, I got a bad release. But you can be nice. And then you go, yeah. And you go, it smells good, my man. You go, I think I would, I would start turning the AC on and I think, yeah, you just go,

oh, no, thanks. I just, I'm like, really I'm on like a calorie count right now. Yeah. And then if he says, if he turns it off, go, Hey, my, uh, my king, I need, I'm sweating in here. I need a little bit colder. Yeah. And if he goes, no, you go, now we got an issue and then we can figure it out But he's just stepping forward if this was

Jiu-jitsu Fine if this is chess He's moving his piece of an arm bar. He's moving his pieces. No near your king You're not gonna win if you just keep defending It's just gonna be a matter of time before he pinches you out I would start pushing the AC Connor you got to start slowly Pushing back take away his night take away his bishop kill off some of his pawns and then very quickly you and Cindy 2.0, I guarantee Cindy 2.0 is bacon in that room. Yeah, she's a poor shoulder How does hell maybe I Maybe I can bring it up, but I can't be going up immediately

out the gate just pressing the AC. That's the one rule that you could do. And you know, in somebody's house here, you can't touch the guy's AC. Look, someone can always make themselves warmer. So tell them to put on a sweater if there's an issue. But I would push it. And again, let's say it doesn't work, you're going to move situations and that's good news for everybody, especially us.

Yes. And what do you, so what do you think, Connor? What do you, what are you going to actually do, my man? I mean, I'm, I got to start dropping some hints probably, like we'll be walking by and like, wow, it's really warm in here or something like that. Like subtle things here. And I got a question. I got a question.

And I'm going to take it nice and slow for Garrett inside joke. You know what I mean? Garth. Yeah. So I got a question. Why do you have to ask about the AC if the switch is available to you? Just turn it on. I would do that.

Just turn it on. You don't think it leads to more problems here? No, it's a sheer space. You are paying for the AC ac it gets the conversation going if he turns it off then you're hot you could say like Hey, man, do you know what state we're in? And also you're in there cooking pork shoulder You're not a rest. I mean it's gonna heat the place up. You are deep frying pork in Florida in a box. Yeah, it is far within your rights to turn it on and at least start the conversation. Will you at least, and look, Connor, you've already said you're already considering the

sneak out plan and another one, but before you do it, can you experiment with just turning the AC on and see how that goes before you go? And let us know, please. It's not over, G Gareth I got 19 more questions I will I will try I will try okay. Okay, you are gonna try I will try and Before you go, could you very quietly and very slowly do the alphabet frontwards and backwards and Connor? It was great to catch up with you. We appreciate the call and He's got another we love you bye Connor all bad guy

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