We're Here to Help - 92: Goofin' Around

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

Jake and Gareth talk to callers about a chef forgetting her recipes and a bizarre neighbor hook-up. Later, the guys follow up with the second caller from episode 61 "Are You Going To Do This Madness?" and the second caller from episode 81 "You HAVE To Follow Up."Please make sure to give this Instagram a follow! instagram.com/snowcapsandtapsWant to call in? Email your question to [e-mail] (Early Access, Bonus Calls and Q&As): Patreon.com/HereToHelpPodVIDEO: Youtube.com/@HeretoHelpPodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodTIKTOK: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And we are back in back. Hi, Jake. Thoughts on that? Thoughts on that, Gary? I don't know what's going on. What's that? You've got a gorilla picture in your office? Now what are you in?

Are you in your half dojo, half office? What is this? Thank you for calling it a half dojo. Answer the stupid question. Well, you said a said a buzzword is it your dojo office Thank you for calling it a dojo is that is that what we have we have like a split see situation or this No, this is the office. This is the office It's just slow coming together. This is the pod you've got office this happened You've got this happened because of my relationship with you Garfman remember at the beginning of the show

I was always in my different rooms. Yes closets. I would think is a better term I think what time you were an event is I'm mistaken. It was hot. All right, let's talk about the hundredth episode We got a hundred episode coming up. It's a big one. We are Introducing Kevin's studio Kevin. Yes. Can you tell us what is planned for a hundred? It better be big, Kevin. We tried it last time. Yes, let's see what we got. We have 90 incredible minutes of calls,

maybe some surprise follow-ups. I have some surprises in the works that I'm working on right now, I'm very excited about. And afterward- So you have surprises to us as well. Yes, I'm not telling you guys. Should Gareth and I each come up with two surprises? I would love that.

Okay. Okay. We got an hour and a half of calls and then afterward we are doing a Q&A just for people on the live stream. So the calls are gonna be the 100th episode and then the Q&A that we're doing is gonna be just on the Patreon stream. So the calls are gonna be the 100th episode and then the Q&A that we're doing is gonna be just on the Patreon as well. And so what are just people on the main feed,

you're a Spotify, you're an Apple, so you're just on the 100th episode, you're seeing the, you were gonna give an extra long episode. Yep, you're good. There'll be some trims in that one, the stuff that doesn't fully work, but there'll be people for Patreon, they'll see the stuff that gets cut out.

Is that correct? Are we ready to announce the date of that? Yes, let's do it. It is Thursday, July 25th at 5 p.m. Pacific time. That's when we're doing the live stream of the 100th episode. So live Patreon 100th episode. Yeah. Sign up for our Patreon and you can watch the live 100th episode. So live Patreon 100th episode. Yeah. Sign up for our Patreon and you can watch the live 100th episode. We also have a ton of stuff in there as well if you watch more is coming. And there's also

all for that. There'll be a lot of everything behind the scenes you'll see, but for also the main feed people who are not Patreon people, you are going to still get the same hundreds episode, which we view is very special. It'll be the first time we'll do the intro live. We'll do it while it's happening. Then we'll just start taking callers. You will see what happens on the live one, the main one too. Maybe we won't do a lot of trims, but if we did one, we just do the hour and a half and

if it's sloppy, it's like it's live to tape It's it'll be like yeah. Yeah, cuz a lot of times we will do some trims. We'll cut some stuff I'll just see what happens Garfman will you be drinking that evening? Yes. Yes. I will make sure to have yes I will not be driving, but I will be drinking. Yeah, you know what we could do on a night like that Oh also, we have a trust Do you still you don't do drugs anymore? Do you my generation does? Yeah, what, we have to trust. Do you still you don't do drugs anymore? Do you? My generation does. Yeah.

What's your generation? How old are you? For real? I'm a I'm a I'm very curious. I know you I know you do a lot of skincare and hair stuff. I'm a zenil look younger. I'm a zenil. How old are you? I am I am further through 31. How old are you? 31 years old? 32. So if you you? 31 years old. So if you're 31, we became friends 20 years ago. Yeah, I was 13. I was nearly 40 when we became friends. Remember how angry my parents got when you come hang out with us?

Yes. So you're saying I'm a criminal for being your friend. Not a criminal, but certainly an old weirdo. I'll agree with that. Even though we're the same age. Our dynamic is very similar to the neighbor and Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. You're that old weird neighbor. And I'm the kid. By the way, that's the new Robert and Barbara, the old guys shoveling in Macaulay, because you're always home alone.

I was terrified of you for most of the movie, but at the end of the day, I kind of need you. All right, so listen, join us for our 100th. We're very, very excited. And thank you everybody who's come along with us on the 100 and continue to tell people. It helps us out, but we're very excited. Okay. Enjoy this freaking episode without, we're all laughing further ado. this fricking episode without, we're all laughing further ado. Hello? Hi there. Let's party.

Welcome to We're Here to Help. You're on with Jake. You're on with Gareth. You got a problem? We got to solve them. Hi. Where are you calling from? I'm pumped to be here.

Wait, did Gareth just come up with a new Gareth catchphrase? What? You got a problem? We're here to solve it. You got a problem? I want to solve it. I want to solve it. I'm going to solve it. Where are you calling from? Wait, did Gareth just come up with a new Gareth catchphrase? What? You got a problem. We're here to solve it.

You got a problem? We're here to solve them. I think that might be the new Don't look it up for a while now. Wow, you're trying to just get me off and don't look it up. I'm trying. The people love it. Most of the people love it. Jake's over it. I just don't. I don't get it. It's true.

Where are you calling from? I like movement, Gareth. I like change. I'm from Denver. Denver, the best. What's your name? Yeah, I miss you, Gareth. You gotta come back. I am. Don't worry. I got something. Tell me what happened between you guys. Jake, I don't think that's what happened. I miss you, Gareth. You gotta come back.

I miss you. I got something in the... Yeah, yeah. Afterwards, I don't think that's what happened. I missed you, Gareth, you gotta come back. I missed you. I got something in the... He didn't show up for our date. Ooh, but he's got something in the works. That's the problem. I'm just kidding, that's not the problem. I'm gonna be in trouble. I like this call.

How old are you, roughly? 28. 28? I remember. And what's your name? Way too young for Gareth. Jake, I'm a kid. Would you stop? Two decades too young. I'm. What's your name? Way too young for Gareth. I'm a kid. Would you stop? Two decades too young.

I'm a punk kid. You told me on your online profile that you're 32. I am. In my heart, I am. In my heart, I am 32. When I go to the doctor, he's amazing. He goes, what? Get out of here. That's what happens when I go to my doctor. Different tone, though, the way he's saying it.

No. No. Get out of here. No. Get out of here. Nobody said take your pants off. Get out of here. We have to ask you to do that. All right, doctor, finish what you started.

And a bunch of tongue depressors fall out of my pocket. Okay, so you're Denver, you're from Denver, you're 28, and what's your name, what are we calling you? My name is Jenica. Jenica, Sure. Is that a real one? Yeah. Yeah. Real names. Okay. I like a real one. All right. What's going on? What can we help you with? Um, so I'm a personal chef here in Denver. Um, yeah, it's fun. I like it a lot, but the problem I've run into is I can't remember my recipes at all. I'm kind of just making everything up as I go for, I mean, I have a lot of regulars and I can't repeat them.

Smoke a lot of pot, Jonica? No, I don't. I would be a nice excuse though. What happened? So you just, you improvise a recipe and then you can't remember it. Exactly. Yeah. And I've been doing that from the start.

I've been a personal chef for four years, but cooking for about 10. And that's kind of how I've always done it. And it wasn't a problem until I started getting regulars and now they want me to repeat things. This is easy for me you're an artist You're not this is it. This isn't fucking hotel art. You're not going You're a real artist and they go can I get that mac and cheese you guys you want that again go to TGIFs? You want Jenica's work sit your fucking ass down. Give me 20 minutes in the front of the stove

I'll put something in front of you, but I'm not going to go three ounces of this, two ounces of that. I'm not taking a flavor town, bitch. How? Wow. So every. I like Jake and aggressive, obviously. I love it. So let me ask you this.

Have you ever had a situation where you've tried to recreate the person's been like, this is not what I asked for. Yeah, it's kind of a joke, but now it's starting to get uncomfortable because they'll be like, oh, wow, this dinner was so good. Can you repeat? Oh, wait, you won't be able to repeat it because you don't know what you did tonight.

Right. Yeah, and then I'll try it. You must be a great cook for them to be comfortable with you not being able to hit the same target. I have an idea. I think I'm not bad. Yeah, I got an idea too. Go ahead.

And writing it down, if your idea is writing it down, I have thought of that and I cook three times longer. No, I have a different idea. So I used to work in the restaurant game. And in the restaurant game, there's a bunch of people, you know, doing bunch of jobs. You got certain people just cutting the carrots, other people setting the table, what have you, but a lot of people are trying to work their way up to some position.

And there's probably a lot of people in Denver who are very interested in being a personal chef. They just don't know the path to how to do that. Jeff, they just don't know the path to how to do that. So I would find an apprentice, AKA an intern, and what their job to do is to watch you while you're doing it, assist you and write down what you're doing. And at the end of the night, so when you're going, they go, what is that? And you go, what? And they go, how many cups of salt?

And you go, a cup. They write it down. So in the end, what am I making? How many cups of salt? You go, a cup. They write it down. So in the end, what am I making? A very dehydrated person. Yeah.

I mean, as you can tell, I go to, I go to flavor town. I don't cook myself. I was going to say too. And then I felt like that was insane. That is insane. That I believe is death. Apparently one cup of salt's insane. It's a lot of salt. I was gonna say too and then I felt like that was insane. That is

Apparently one cup of salt since then But the idea of an intern The idea of an apprentice writing down because I think we're gonna have to get Jenica is we got to write these down, but you can't write and cook because you're Jackson Pollock You're just doing paint on a wall. You can't stop the flow. It's gonna taste terrible. Mm hmm. I think of that one. So I did have an assistant for a while. And for kind of the same

reason. I was like, I need someone to kind of watch my back and kind of watch what I'm doing. Because I'm a little bit of a shit show sometimes like the food's good, but everything behind the scenes is kind of a disaster. So you're kind of here to ground me. And she ended up being crazier than me. And I had to fire her. And so now I'm kind of scared of firing an assistant after that experience, because she was a lot.

Yeah, I get that. Are you making, can I ask you- But I guess I could try again. Are you making good money doing this? Um, I'm starting to I I had like major imposter syndrome when I started and so my prices were very low when I started and now I'm finally three years in and raising them. Are you trying? She doesn't save any of the money though. She throws it right out the window on her way home. Yeah. Whatever they pay me in cash. What?

I don't know. When I start driving, I just throw it out the window. I don't know what I got paid. I don't know what I cooked. And I don't even know where I have. I don't have a place to live. I just drive in circles. Well, I started in LA and I was such a people pleaser there that, cause I

worked for a company that had personal chefs and they had a strict budget for us and sometimes I would go over budget and just pay out of my own pocket. That's how bad I was. By the way you're the best. You're the best. I was like I just want them to have good food. Do you try to promote yourself through social media and shit? Is that? Yeah, that's how I started, but I got a lot of people through Instagram when I started. Now I'm pretty bad about it. Well, what if we did a version of this? Because I a lot of times will see like a recipe online and I'll be like, oh that's great, and I'll just click the link and someone will show a

video that is literally like 90 seconds of how they made something. So what if you did a version where you kind of make a video that helps promote you, but also is it shows you how much you're using in each recipe and you could just go back and watch your shit and be like, oh yeah, I do like a tablespoon of paprika here. And that might be a way to lock it in. That's kind of what I was leaning towards actually was having... That's my idea. So I'm not sharing this.

Unfortunately, I didn't know you had that idea. So go ahead. We talked about it. Don't you remember? Yeah. Jenica. Gareth, what did you do in Denver? Did you forget?

I don't remember. Are you Jenica the chef but with sacks? I don't remember. I did something great. She said, come back. I don't remember what I did in the sack. And that's when I'd say, get an intern, have somebody write it down. What was I doing here?

You said I was wonderful. I have no idea. I thought about dropping a camera to like my chest, like a GoPro when I'm cooking at people's houses. So then I didn't go B, but I just, I feel like that would kind of freak them out in their own house. It would. Well, I think, I think, I think what you would want to do.

The reason why I asked about the money is because what I would do is I would take like a day or two days and just whip together some of your best recipes to throw them online, have someone film them, have someone edit them, and literally have them just cut down to like 90 seconds and then you can just get a refresher on your top 10 or 15. And you just have them for you for now, but then you could start posting them over time help promote you. Can I ask a question about it? Because that is a good solution.

But can I ask a question, Jenna? Is part of it when you're cooking, you're improvising? Yes. It's pretty much all on the spot. It's kind of a nervous habit. Yeah, but she's an improviser. Yes, but like when you're cooking something, part of the pain in the ass is just like, I mean, what she needs is she needs to kind of get them locked into her memory. If while she's doing this, she can throw on her 90 second recipe, put in one air pod and just go, oh, that's right. That's right.

That's right. She'll start to lock some of these in just at least for like the top 10 or 15 that you need to recreate. But I, because I do think while you're trying, but Gareth, you're trying to get her to create a set. And I think she is more of like a true, she gets in the kitchen and she needs to get inspired. And if they go, we want lamb chops,

I don't think she wants to go like, here's the nine ways to make a lamb chop. Yeah, I mean, I could use that as a base. That's kind of what I mean. I think it's more like, I think if it's, like I think it's all well and good, like you're talented enough where people are going like, oh, whatever, if you could recreate it, but that'd be great.

But I think in your business, you probably do want to be able to offer consistency. So like it is kind of like a funny quirk. But I do think you also are like, people are probably gonna be like, yeah, that was not what we want. Like there was no saffron in there or whatever. So this is a way to maybe just edge you in that direction a little bit, like get you a little bit closer to that.

And then you can have the freedom to experiment and shit, but it's also good social, it's good promotion too. Because a lot of times you see this food porn and you go, you click on it, you go, oh fuck, I wanna make that. Yeah. I know, I regret not getting into the Instagram game earlier cause those are pretty cool videos.

But you can now, start Start whenever it doesn't matter. We started a podcast 40 years after podcasts. That's a good point. Seriously. That's my favorite now. So that's a good point. So I've got a question for you. How many dishes would you consider are your base? Okay, so the other problem is I rarely repeat. It's just all over the board. Every cuisine because every client I have is so different and what they like.

So that's why a lot of this improvising is happening is because some like really spicy food, some like this type of cuisine, some want to be really healthy. You know what I mean? How many clients do you have? I have seven regulars a week and then... I want to be really healthy. You know, how many clients do you have? I have seven regulars a week and then seven regular solid business, Jenica. Well, why don't you, why don't you lock in? Would you say they all have a favorite?

I'm not really. They kind of like having various things. And then, yeah, every once in a while they'll love something and they want me to make it again. So that's kind of the problem is when that happens. So why don't you do this? Why don't you, after you cook something that someone loves, why don't you right away write down what you think you did and then you recreate it through a video.

You can use that for some social media shit and that's a way to sort of have a version of it locked in Like I think you can I think you can kind of get something out of this as well as locking in You know what? You know, I really think gareth is we're trying to put a band-aid over an axe wound because part of it is Every client she changes depending on their mood. So she's intuitive. You're an emotional chef. You're feeling what's happening in the moment. You're going with your gut instinct. You are.

If it's acting, there are certain actors like this, and these are my favorite. You're pretty memorized, but you're also in the moment, whatever's kind of happening, you're reading the scene. You're, but that's like saying to somebody, remember how you improvised the other day? Can you do that exactly the same? And the answer to that is no. But the difference is they have an editor. Miles Davis had to go into a recording studio and have it like,

it's different when you're talking about food because you have a final product that is like, you can be like, this is crazy. What happened? But it's not crazy. Jenica is a great chef. Miles whatever he's gonna do on that trumpet you're gonna leave that cool club in the village and go miles did miles but if you go can you do exactly what you did December 14th 1962 you go don't you know what's miles Davis yeah but then you go here I'll play it for you right here in

a 90 second clip this is what you did well but she's calling because this is a problem that's fair she's calling because she wants help getting consistent so jenna go what's happened on this call is we've become the two sides of your brain yes so i am the part of your brain i mean we're making you more confused because we've entered inside of your head space this call is not really happening this is a dream you're having. This isn't real life. This is just inside your head. You knew the call. When you wake up tomorrow, you're going to call in and we're going to be doing shark tank jokes about owning your business. But this is just a dream. And in this dream, I'm part of your subconscious that thinks you're doing you and it's working. And Gareth is saying, let's have a plan. So

now you take the wheel a little bit and say, what do you specifically really want? Is it you want to devise a plan to organize this or are you just calling to say, this is the issue? Is there a way out? Because I like doing it the way I do, but it's a bad feeling when it's like a fancy client and they're looking at me like, why can't you repeat that dish? You know what I mean? It just feels unprofessional at this point. It was cute the first couple of years and now it's like, all right, get your shit together. That's kind of what I think. Look, I think you're going to have the freedom to fuck around always.

But I think what you need to do is to lock into some of this stuff. You just have to play within your system and you have been able to improvise your way around and it's gone great. It's true. But I do think, why not, like literally, for yourself, just make 10 or 15 things, record them, have them cut down, it'll help promote your shit, but it also is a way for you to just go,

I can return basically to something that is a winner and you can build out from there. Let me pitch to you, Gareth. Okay. Just as the other side of Jenica, because as you're saying that I'm starting to fucking sweat. Okay. Rather than do 10 to 15, can we start with three dishes?

Sure. So, Jenica, can we pick three of your main dishes or desserts and lock those in and make little videos of them? Do a live stream. Just put it, it doesn't have to be a 90 second edited thing with some like cool song to it. Just film it. Yeah. Have it. Fuck it, even if you don't put it online.

All right. Yeah. Just film it. Have it. Fucking even if you don't put it online. I like that. If you did three, what would those three dishes be? There'd probably be some sort of curry in there. Some sort of? No, no, it's some sort of has to fade away. It's a specific one. Some sort of is the problem. A couple of salts.

Yeah, I don't know. It's going to be... I'm already big with it. It's going to be some sort of thing, but definitely not A couple of salts. Yeah, I don't know. It's going to be, it's going to be, it's going to be some sort of thing, but definitely not a couple of salts. An Indian dish that I'll figure out at a later time. And then it's going to be some sort of a dessert dependent on the client. So you're going to do three specific dishes and then you're going to re-watch that and write down all the ingredients for it. Is that correct? Yeah We're we're asked where this is just not your parents tomorrow morning. You're gonna call in the show

I'd have a different call. This is just a weird So is this if you don't want to do you don't have to do it This is a dream if you want to have sex with You what you're gonna write it down after the video you said no, I'm saying I don't need I don't think I need to write it down after making the video. You what? You're going to write it down after the video, you said? No, I'm saying I don't need, I don't think I need to. I think making the video alone should be enough. Nope, nope, nope. Are you going to watch the video?

Oh, um, yeah, I will. I think what, okay, what you need to do is memorize some of your recipes and you could either write them down and you could like make a little Cookbook for yourself or something like that, but you do need to lock them in if you're gonna film yourself and not watch it There's no point in filming yourself You kind of need to like I mean again just based off of what you're saying I have we're not in the fucking culinary world at all So what the fuck do we know?

But I understand that if someone ordered a specific service and you came over and it was not what they asked for, them being like, I might not use this person again. So I think you just at least need to, for your clients, just start to know what they like. And I think, yeah, I do think there's a way you can promote yourself while doing that. Whether it is doing a live stream or it is just filming yourself and

having someone cut it just for you, whatever it is, something like that. But you know, if you want to go out there and fucking be Miles Davis, then go. They want to curry who the fuck knows what they're going to get. No, I like the video idea. Will you send it to him? I guess. And I have one other pitch. It's party. And these glasses that are Ray Van glasses that record.

Would that be weird if I was wearing those? No, no, those are great. Yeah, if you were a GoPro on your forehead, you're a goofball. That's what I mean. Yeah. But if you just had at on your forehead, you're a goofball. That's what I mean, yeah. But if you just had- Because the glasses at least look like glasses. They don't look like the camera. Jenica, that's perfect.

And guess what? If somebody walks in and goes like, I don't like your glasses while you're cooking, that's a weird person. You're allowed to wear what you want while you cook. Now, even if you did a GoPro, it's fine, but it would just be a little bit like, how much are my house you filling?

I also kinda like the idea we could, you could get, again, I'm not trying to like, I'm like in my mid thirties, so I can't pitch like, you know, how, how, huh? I can't pitch over a decade over. I can't mid thirties. No, I'm not. Relax over the first one. Kelly's in his mid thirties though. I know, Gareth was born in the 70s.

I know that is a fact. That is true. Jake. Gareth was in his 20s when cell phones came and went like, these things suck. Oh my God. This is not about me and it's not, we're having fun. It was my middle school present.

Okay, we're all having a laugh here, but I am definitely, I play younger and that's great. What I was gonna say is- No, you play with younger and I think it's weird. The social- Play with somebody your own age. ... aspect of this can be retained because you could do like POV chef videos. Agreed. You could do like, you're the POV cook or something like that. You could film these, you could store it and you could have that fucking cut together and use that on your exactly so I think where we're really at Jenica is do the funky glasses for sure maybe that's even better than doing it

at home because for some reason I don't think that's gonna like actually work the way we hope it is yeah if you go to a rest if you go to a place and you store them all even if you don't do the promotion and then somebody goes hey that chicken curry thing was delicious you go I I know what video it is. I just got to watch it I'll do that again beforehand And you just store all those things and just make sure you label them because what you don't want to have happen is you haven't Labeled them and then you're not gonna label them numbers Yeah, but I already tell you're not the kind of person who's gonna give these

numbers. We can already tell you're not the kind of person who's going to give these files labels. But you, you, you, you, you have to label them because you can't, you can't go, they wanted me to make some that was there three months ago. I have like a hundred thousand videos. I'll never just label them and date them. The date and what you made, get a hard drive, order a hard drive. Yeah, get it. This is easy. Label them. You have them. Are you going? We have clouds now, Garrett.

I don't know if you know, 2020, we used the clouds. Put it on www.theinternet.hotmail. What a geek, dude. You guys are having fun, but I am a child. The glare from your bald spot is shining in my eyes, old man.

I am a child. Garrett likes pickleball. he says it's good for my knees and I get to be active with my friends I'm sorry that I love low-impact socialize you just too hardcore for you Gareth I can't believe I'm trying to help you. Yes, Jenica! And also, Jenica, it's way too hard for my body. It's way too hard. I want to go on a cruise. Jenica, may I remind you that he hurt his back stretching?

Not once. A lot of times. Jenica, we've got to get off this car. Also, my- He has a little tackle dummy in his fake locker room. He has a little porn set in his garage with a little tackle dummy. See how defensive he gets? Old guys are the worst.

I know. Bye, Jenica. You're defensive he gets. Old guys are the worst. I know. Bye, Jenica. You're the best. Bye. Have a good one. This episode is brought to you by Mando. Mando is a deodorant that we all use here at the show, Kevin especially. Kevin, are you a Mando man? I need it with the gym now that I'm going. I'm sweating a lot more than I normally do. So I come up, I got my Mando, I got my water bottle. I'm ready to go. Let me tell you why Mando is especially good, especially for guys like Kevin who are always in the gym. Mando doesn't cover up odor after the fact with heavy fragrances like other deodorants. It stops the odor at the source by blocking the bacteria on your skin from eating your sweat which is the actual cause of BO and that is disgusting and I did not know that.

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What's good? What? Wow. That's our first. We'll tell you what's good. This show. Welcome to We're Here to help America's number one podcast Can we get your name age and where you're calling from please? Yeah, my name is Joel

I am 24 and I'm calling from Denver, Colorado No, great great city Alright, Joel. Why don't you just hop in what's going going on? Get right into it. Sure thing. So, I hooked up with my neighbor in the hopes of a good old friend with benefit situation. And it was all good. I'll chill for a minute. And then it or more so he got weird, only hooked up the one time. However, he's consistently, like maybe once a week, sent me unsolicited nudes.

Oh wow. What? Mmhmm. And the- Full body or just the area? Like are we seeing ankles and ears, Jolie? Yes, yes. Wow, interesting choice.

Okay. What are we seeing ankles and ears, Jolee? Yes, yes. Wow, interesting choice. Okay, what are we calling this guy? Let's call him Dave. Dave. So Dave is sending you ankles to ear, full body nudes, randomly. Yep. You look in your phone, there it is.

I'm sorry, I have to jump in, caller, I apologize. I've been getting a lot of comments on the video that people think I don't have ears. They think my hair covers my ears. There's been comments that are like, it's so cool. Kevin's getting into podcasting despite not having ears. So just for the video of yours, I'm showing you, this is my left ear and this is my right ear.

He just got them done. Hold on, Kevin, can we go back to the caller, please, sir? You are. Back to you, caller. Okay, good. Your best Kevin moment of 80 episodes. That was really good. I love it.

Okay, back to you. So you hooked up with Dave and can you walk us through that night of the hookup? What happened? Yeah, so the night that it happened Essentially just sent it. What are you up to text and you you know over I did. Yeah. Yeah I've been driving the boat. Yeah And and so we we hooked up and it was a fun time and that was that and we saw each other for neighbors a couple of times and he's a little awkward but it was fine but as time has gone on

it is increasingly got strange. Respect. So what happened before we move forward Garf? I'm sorry I'm sorry. No well I think maybe to what you're gonna say like How was the hookup? Cuz I'm just trying to see if there's a connection to maybe this wasn't the best But it doesn't have the nudes But did anything weird happen? Yeah, how was Dave? Uh, it was it was fine It was fine. Nothing nothing to write home about but fun time and you were was it did you guys and you were home? Did you guys go all the way? Was it sex? Was it just goofing around?

What happened here? How far did we get? It was sex. Goofing around is a great way to refer to any hookup, obviously. Were you guys just on top of each other goofing around a little bit? Making jokes? Goofing around is very clearly 69, Gary. You know I love a goof around.

Yeah, I'd love to just goof around with some people tonight. So, before six, do you want to goof around a little bit? Yeah, six minutes of goofing around, three minutes of sex. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I need to call it goof around. Four plays goofing around. Those numbers are great. Those are great numbers.

Six minutes of Google. Three minutes of sex. So back to you for a second. So you reached out to him. You liked him. What did you like about him at first? What started it? Or was he just a good looking guy?

Good looking guy and our apartments face directly into each other. So we're always interested in him. Um, our, we met at the dog park, our dogs, their buddies. So this was kind of a romantic comedy build and then the night happened and the movie ended in the middle of the second act. Yeah. Well, there is some weird stuff that went down before the lead up. Please.

Um, like a, there was a almost threesome and then he wanted to have sex with my friend who was sleeping, or no, he wanted to have sex with me, with my friend who was sleeping next to me. And that didn't happen because that's weird. I'm sorry, Gareth, do you understand what happened there? I think I do, but I'd rather not. He wanted to hook up with you with your friend sleeping.

So is it safe to say he's just kind of a weirdo? He wanted to hook up with you when your friend was sleeping next to you. That is in addition to the threesome or that is what you're calling the threesome? That would be called a quiet three. Yeah, goofing around is what it is. Very, very quiet. But like the pitch on that is wild because it's like, want to have really slow moving quiet sex?

Yeah, I don't like that. That's like Mormon porking. I don't like that. I don't. I don't. So he pitched to you the first time you hook up, want to do it as if we're not doing it because we don't want to wake somebody up. And you said not interested, but still interested in the night

He pitched the threesome first and my friend was sleeping and I had only hung out with this friend two times before this And then he was like, well, why don't we just have sex? I'm like that's weird After that and then eventually a couple days later. I'm just have have sex. And then if we're rating it out of 10, it might seem like this is for nothing, but sometimes we mine these fields and a little bit of gold comes out or we get our answer. If you were to rate the night of sex with Dave out of 10, are we talking a seven?

Five. I'd say seven. Wow, okay, that's decent. These three guys could be happy at a seven. Oh boy, I'll tell you what. Seven is- No, here's the Garf Man and JJ. We would guys be happy in a seven. No boy. I'll tell you what seven. Oh, here's the Garf man and JJ We would be writing about a seven sevens Everest especially seven minutes of goofing around I mean for seven that's five minutes of goofing around two minutes seconds the six and threes of ten

The two different POVs of like it was nothing to write home about it was It was only a seven. If someone told me I'm a seven, I'm writing to everyone I know. For sure. Writing home. I'm being like, use my real name on this topic. So, oh God. Okay. So, so now, so now things are awkward. And he just keeps sending you nudes.

And the, see, this is why hooking up with someone it is high stakes if you hook up with someone that close to you in proximity Don't show me But as I've said I will if it's on a hotel, but um it is weird So why don't you say what your question is just so we know clearly I guess the other aspects to this is I work in hospice. And this man does not work. And oftentimes the photos are coming through at like mid afternoon. Like there was one that came through while sitting bedside

with somebody dying and their family while getting them admitted. Holy turn on the story. Yes, yes, yes. Dave, your timing is terrible. Awful. Yeah. So I guess my question is, do I just continue to let this play out?

No. Or how should I put it to an end? I think we first of all we have to end it. You can't be getting unsolicited unwanted nude pics. It's out of control. It's simply out of control. Outside of the job. Even if it wasn't a job. Yeah the job part to me is almost irrelevant because it's like it could be a good scapegoat but it's like you could have your phone in your pocket. The issue is that you live close to him. If he lived in, you know, if he just lived on another area, who gives a shit?

Yeah, you can just kind of deal with it, block his number, whatever. I think you need to probably try to do something to stop it. Question. Well, that's why she's calling. We're gonna do something. We're not reading her diary entry. She's calling into.

I think we're just some, this is just some friends chatting. Yeah, we're figuring it. Ooh, new podcast, friends chatting. Friends chatting. Oh, I got a new one goofing around. Six-year-old goof around. So I got a question for you.

So after the sex, what do you think Dave thought was Dave thinking that's a ten out of ten is he thinking this is the beginning of a little love story between me and this lady where do you think his head was or is he just sending you pics going let's do that again maybe we can have sex while someone's sleeping near us where do you think he's at you know really hard to get a read on that he he had inquired about about around to However, never took any action on it He also said it was fun. It was a good time

but It's otherwise just been Just in the news when he inquired about it. What was your reaction? I had actually attempted to initiate round two multiple times and, um, he, he's not, not, I don't want to say not about it, but had an excuse each time. He called, he called in and said four out of ten. This, this is very interesting. Well, is it? Because you keep telling us new stuff later in the game.

Okay, so essentially you were down to do it again. She wanted to. He kind of avoided that. So it's almost like he, his thing is just sending nudes almost. First of all, he sounds like a weirdo. He likes to have sex around people sleeping and would rather not have sex with you and just send you pics. Yeah.

For starters, he's a weirdo. How long ago did this happen? Good question. A couple of weeks ago. Okay. So this is, and how many, and when he sent the first dick pic, what was your response? Oh gosh. Be honest, please.

Don't tell us in two minutes what really happened. I played into it. You played into it. I you played in. Yeah. How do you play into it? Because my thought was he's sending me a picture. So this might lead to sex again. But then we did it. So what'd you do? Um, I mean, I think I had to hype them up essentially, or inquired about whatever the fuck you got your phone on you. Oh boy. Yes. No, I'm not asking. We can't look at these, but you can read what you wrote back, right? I can. Will you just read? Will you read my correspondence? Okay. We can fast forward to the day. This is tough. It's tough also because he doesn't have a job, so he's just sitting there.

So he's able to keep track of what you're doing. This is also, I think you're going in a normal route. I think she's one of us. I don't want the normal route. No, she's- Oh, I've got a lot. You don't think I got lies ready to go? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?

You're not listening. You're going the normal route like we're trying to end this. I think this is a trickier question that was posed to us They had sex she wanted more he passed he said to dick pic. She hyped him up. He sent another dick pic She's at hospice. This all happened within the last couple of weeks. Now we're saying don't send any more dick pics. There's something in the middle of this story I'm not getting. It feels like it's all building, but then he's rejecting her and now she's saying, fine, if you're not going to have sex with me, stop sending me dick pics. Cause there's a simple one. Stop advertising for a product I want to buy if you're not selling. Yes. You're showing me that hot dick. Well. I want it. I'll purchase it tonight at 8 if you're not available Stop sending me the deals title. Mm-hmm. I clipped this coupon. I want to purchase

But am I wrong Julie am I right you are on point see what I'm saying so this is not we don't want it to stop She's saying stop flashing gold at me. I want it. I'm hungry. Stop showing me a turkey Okay, jake, I can't I can't have one more analogy. I agree. I don't have any more I do Okay, but are you pulling up the phone what you hyped him up or did that fade But are you pulling up the phone what you hyped him up or did that fade? I am looking for it What I what I want to recall is there was likely the like sweating tongue-out emoji Oh my god, you're burning up that's such a hot the pork If I'm Dave after a seven out of ten and she wanted more I'm thinking she's loving these pics It's the least I could do to this poor girl.

She's loving the sex, she wants more. I'm a super weird guy. I would love to have sex with her if there was a sleeping person nearby. So this is the best I can do. That's a real weird one. He's a weird guy. That age is real weird even on this call.

I agree. Yeah. But you like this guy, yes? I wouldn't want to pursue a relationship. Yeah. You want to keep having sex? Well now I don't think I do. So I got a question for you. If he said tonight after work, wanna round two, what would you say?

I would have questions for him. What are the questions? What the fuck have you been doing the past? Month, I'm a weird guy Joelle are you saying yes, you had go ahead Garf. Are you asking for us to repair this? No, you want us to just figure out how to get out of this Yeah, I mean, essentially, my thing is the, the nudes got to stop. If we're not having sex again, let's, let's stop with the, the random nudes. Yeah. So we just got to figure it. We got to get away from this. Right.

So how about a very simple, right down the middle, uh, text to them right now. Hey pal, cool it with the nudes. Don't know if you know this. I work in hospice helping people enter the other world, consoling their family. Don't need to see your hog. Peace. Peace. See you around the building. But you know what that would do for me?

And my little turtle will go right back in the shell and would not come out for photos again. No more goofing around for that little guy. No, he's done goofing around. I think that the problem is he's right there. I think you. Okay. I mean, I like that because I definitely think that what that would do is if I did receive that and I would be like, oh shit, I got it.

I would be like, I got to stop. I'm sorry. I'll say I'm sorry. that and I would be like, Oh shit, I got I would be like, I gotta stop. I'm sorry. I'll say I'm sorry. Yeah, I would be like, I'm sorry. I also think you could come up with there's a funny play. Okay. The funny play is when he starts texting you nudes, just start texting like screenshots of cartoon characters from Looney Tunes. And just see what that does. Or you could also do, you could send nudes of animals.

So if you send like a deadpig, you send like a chimpanzee naked where he's like, what the fuck is this? And then if he goes, what the fuck? You go, what the fuck you? And then just send like, and then just start sending pictures of like hot dogs and just like weird hit, try to out weird them a little bit with like hot dogs and just like weird hit. Try to out weird him a little bit with it because it's kind of weird shit. That way you're not taking away.

I think you're right, Gareth. Take away the sex of it. Send him like a photo of like a black hole that just looks like a butthole. You know, there's like science picks where you're like, yes, that kind of looks like a butthole where if he sends you a photo, you just send him that. Just start doing and see what that does then I think if it persists whatever escalates Whatever, I think you always have the option of saying that you've kind of started to see someone a little bit Yeah, we can end on seeing somebody but I got another one for two and this might really end it because I know it would for me

Okay, and it's it's, it's a, it's too adjacent. What if every time he sends you a pic, you send a thing of Austin powers where he goes like a little gift where he goes like, yeah, baby. And you send the same one. How about, Oh, behave. Oh, behave. Yeah. So it's even just do the, Oh, behave. Cause he'll send it expecting you to do like an open-mouthed tongue sweating and if it's Hey, he'll be like first of all cool it. I don't like that response to me being totally naked It'll put a little shame in the game

it'll definitely throw him off and It might lead to more but then everyone just gets an automatic obhiv. Okay okay I like that I definitely I like the weird route. Right I like that I think there's just it helps you just be like it just helps make it all a bit sillier because it is kind of fucking absurd it's really hard to know what the fuck he wants or is thinking but if you no longer want anything out of it then the stakes are kind of removed so yeah I would just go that route I would just start doing yeah and see and then leave long gaps don't respond to some of them just kind of let it float out there for

a while hopefully it'll stop the thing that I just thought of yeah is what if you tell him that all your shit just got hacked? Okay. So now I mean, you could say, you say that if you say that you say all my shit just got hacked, they have everything. They're still in my phone. Yeah. You know that you do that. You, that's a bandit. You send it to us and a couple other fake people, but it's a group text saying,

Hey y'all, I'm so sorry to tell you this. My phone, my email, everything has been fucking hacked. It's really embarrassing. It's really annoying. If you get any strange emails, just anything you've sent to me, I'm really sorry, but this is going around, it's becoming a really big deal. I think they're still in my cloud, so don't send me anything anything important or any please don't send me any credit card information any Family this stuff is going on the dark web. It's really scary. I'm so annoyed

So please nothing personal for a while nothing if you want to show me anything or give it to me do it in person Oh, and then if you want my boyfriend boyfriend and I are trying to figure this out. All right. So now back to you, caller. We've given you a lot of great options. What are you thinking of doing? I like the gift sending reactions to the responses. What kind of gift are you going to send in?

I like the idea with the consistent gift because that's just a two taps, send, two taps, send. Oh, that's a title. Two taps, send. Oh, that is funny. Okay, but I agree with that. It's nice and easy and I'll tell you if you've received the same gift for the fifth time, it gets scary. Yeah.

That would be weird. And then, so you're going to do the GIF? Are you going to... What do you think about the hacked idea? It feels like a lot of work. That's a play for if this GIF idea doesn't work. That's a surprise. You can almost blame it on the hack chat. After calling into a podcast for help on it, one simple text feels like a lot of work. Literally, we wrote it. that one simple touch feels like a lot of work. Literally, we wrote it. We've already given it to you. Here's my question to you, just because I'm curious,

we're getting off, we're gonna get off soon and you're gonna do the gifts and it's gonna work. If it doesn't try the hack, because that will work. What does this guy have to do to have another round two with you at this point? Oof. Ball is so far in his court and he's just got to not be weird. He's got to take the initiative and just go for it.

As a man who doesn't know you, I wouldn't go back in for anything at this point. You wouldn't? No. He's right next door to you. If he's fucking asking to bang you while your friend's sleeping It's it's strange. I don't there's like some weird shit here I don't think I think you can find better meals off reservation. I wouldn't agree. Yeah. Yeah I'm gonna go with gareth on this one, too Yeah

This is why the only time you should shit where you eat is if you're in a hotel room like we always say on this podcast title Listen Joel keep us posted on how this works out and I'm curious about this one eat is if you're in a hotel room like we always say on this podcast title. Listen, Joelle, keep us posted on how this works out. Yeah, I'm curious about this one. Yeah, because I think let's get you out of this weird little situation. And really quickly before we go off, you really don't want to just write the hacked text? That will end it. The GIF you're going to, it's the weird one and it will lead to more

weirdness. Why don't we do this? Why don't you give it up for a little while and if that doesn't work call back in we'll compose the text fully for you. We'll send it and then we'll go from there with a third follow-up and see what that does. Okay. Does that make sense? Yeah my thing with the the hacking text is I it's been a couple of days since receiving the last one yeah so it's okay I want to hold off for a minute okay and that one that's my plan

B all right I think it's a great plan B wait well good luck and thank you for what you do at hospice it's a it's a really meaningful job that you do absolutely thank you I appreciate that all right good luck to you. All right, Joel, this is where you're at. I'm a fucked up person, thanks. Great ending. Great ending. Biz, biz, biz, biz, biz, biz, biz, biz, biz, biz, biz. And Jake, we're brought to you by Babbel. We've talked about Babbel before. Babbel is science-backed language learning app

that actually works. Basically, you take a 10-minute lesson, it's handcrafted by over 200 language experts, and you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. Jake, you've picked up French. Why don't you show us a little? Perfect. This is the before. So that was before, and after, here it is. Here's the after.

So thank you, Bab is. Here's the after. He needs me to leave my partner, otherwise he won't. Yeah, I'm stuck. I left for Nancy, and now I'm coming back from Nancy. So thank you, Babbel. It's incredible to hear you speak that language. But it's really easy. I mean, you know, if you think about going to another country, you're overwhelmed.

So use Babbel. It's speech recognition technology. And here's a special limited time offer for our listeners. Right now now you can get up to 60% off on your Babbel subscription but only for our listeners at Babbel.com slash HTH get up to 60% off at Babbel.com slash HTH spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash HTH go get them rules and restrictions may apply. Hey everyone, producer Kevin here. The original call from this next follow-up aired on March 14th.

It's called Are You Going to Do This Madness? And it's the first call from the episode. So if you'd like to listen as a quick refresher, go for it. Enjoy. Hello. Hi, welcome to We're here to help. Is this your first time calling or is this a follow up? This is a follow up gentlemen.

Ooh, is this Connor? This is Luke, but not Rubik's Luke. This is Suits and Wigs Luke. Suits and Wigs. Great. How was the party Luke? Oh man, it was great. I got to tell you.

So, basically, we helped you kind of figure out your annual party. You were trying, you started with suits and wigs. We put you on social media. We were, we were trying to promote you as best as possible. So you had your first annual suits and wigs party and boy, did it sound like the details were about to explode out of your mouth. Let me tell you, let me tell you long pause. Let's hear it, buddy.

How'd it go? Yeah, it was great. I got to give a special shout out to Caitlin because she Really put together that website last minute. So what had happened was, you know, we had the call and you guys are very generous and offered to You know make the website and then my two friends that I was gonna do it with yep So it's where it's based. We were like, well, you know, we we still have nothing going on the night that we were originally gonna do it with, Yep, Childs, Court of State. We were like, well, you know, we still have nothing going on the night that we were originally gonna do it.

We decided to just have a trial run ourselves anyway. We went out in Sherman Elks to a few places and had a great time. You know, we were doing bits and it immediately got a lot of attention. And then like three weeks later, I got the email from Kevin who was like yeah we're gonna air the call in the morning and you have pictures from

your event it's how I was like well wait a minute where you guys supposed to make the website and do all that he's like yes you're right the website will be done in the morning and so he's just now. Thanks for putting me on blast, Luke. It's great to have you with you as always. Kevin's face just was incredible. I agree, Garth.

And I did I got I got to say, Garth, I got tense. I was like, yeah, Kevin, it's happening. Face was like a kid who'd paint it all over the walls and the parent just came home. He was also on the verge of violence.

So it's actually a testament to the whole team because Kevin and Kailin and everyone just really put together and did a great job promoting the event. So once I had access to the website, we started going through the emails and we were, we didn't know what to really expect because by the time of the actual event, there was close to a hundred RSVPs. And once it was over 50, we knew that we would have to kind of call an audible and change the location. And so many people. But then pack the location. How come? And, um. So many people. So.

But then pack the place. Yeah, we, I had to connect at Cheese and Brewing and shout out to them because then I, I was able to contact their manager and we set it all up, but I was still a little like, I didn't know if he would really be game for this wacky idea. So I kind of downplayed what it was.

I said, yeah, as a group of friends, we're, we're kind of networking. There could be around. I said, yeah, it's a group of friends. We're we're kind of networking There could be around 30 or so, but we're networking you're gonna show up in suits and wigs Well, I'm not working Questions and I had to be like, yeah We're gonna be in weird costumes just to let you know there's suits and wigs and he loved it Luke I want to take I'm gonna share a photo of exactly what you're describing right now which is very funny. Yeah. So for the audio people we're looking at a group of people in suits and wigs. Is

Luke in the middle there Kevin? Do we know? I'm in the I'm in the gray suit with the pink tie. All right well I don't think we see you in this picture but we're looking at a bunch of people around some tacos and in front of it, it says, reserved for networking night. Yeah, we, we, we got there and it's a networking night. So there we go. And so how many, how many people, oh, that's fun, man. How many people did you end up getting? Oh, there's, it was close to a, the final, final number was about 40.

That's great. I am. That's a real first annual man. And was it a bunch of new people you hadn't met? You got some babes there. Yeah, that was the other thing we had. Yeah, we had no idea because there was about 15 of us that knew each other. And then we, you know, we were trying to have contingency plans. If okay, if there's some weirdos, you know, what are we going to do? And you guys are the weirdos. Yeah, Luke, you're the head. You're the architect weirdo. You guys all in wigs and suits.

We don't want any creeps showing up. Keep your eyes open. There could be a lot of weirdos here tonight. No, everyone, everyone brought the best vibes. There was a group of about eight friends that came from, uh, from Torrance. And, uh, shut out. I believe her name is Tammy. We were trying to convince her that she needs to email the show because she has a wild problem about how she speaks German in her sleep. Well Luke, shout out to you for the most shout outs on a follow-up call. Without question on three to four shout outs so

far so shout out to you. Shout out new balance for being on my feet at The party shout out beer for making me so drunk that night shout out my parents Eric Elfie I go a little bit Look I'm gonna keep going Look look we love you. We love you Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, I'm gonna keep going, shout out. Luke, Luke, Luke, we love you. We love you, Luke, but this call has to end. It's a call up and it's devolved to you just doing shout out. It's like a radio station at 11 45 PM.

We really appreciate it. And you're gonna do, you're gonna do another one next year, right? Yeah, we talked about it. There's a couple of girls that came from San Diego. They want to make their own. Shout out to them. This summer, yep. Shout out to them.

Shayna and... Stop. Yeah, it's... It's painful. Your advice was maybe mixing up the theme every year. Yeah. And you talked about that. I gotta say the group, the group plot, you know, maybe mixing up the theme every year. Yeah. I gotta say the group, uh, the group thought, you know, maybe it's just suits and wigs, they seem to really have a ball.

Shout out to your original idea. I mean, that's, that's just, shout out democracy because they took a vote and shut up pivoting for being able to stick to the original plan you came in with shout out Squarespace and shout out Commuting from San Diego for a party out and shout out And shout out Shana and whatever name is for saying we're gonna do another one Yeah, honestly, yeah Yeah

Shout out to them for sure shout out to bars for being open and shout out to whoever's in that hotel room with you that you're Getting in weird fights with during the call and trying to make weird dad eye contact with. Shout out to privacy symbols that are being ignored in your hotel. Shout out to those. What is the point of them? Shout out to that. By the way, a good bit could be in hotels, walk around, and if somebody's got a privacy

sign, just take it off all the door handles. I've honestly thought about it. I honestly think in my time I have not had one in my room and take them one off of someone else's for my own The only problem with that bit shout out to them The put shout out to them shout out to the bitch shout out to the maids The only problem with that would be I would feel really bad for the maids because everyone gets so mad at them and they're like Oh, yeah, I just did my job and they're like, oh I wanted privacy

yoga I just did my job and they're like, Oh, I wanted privacy. I'm doing yoga. Shout out to yoga. Anyway, Luke, shout out to you for having a great shout out. Shout out to Jiu Jitsu. Shout out Jake's back. Hopefully you can recover from your stretching ordeal. Shout out Jake's little weird locker room dummy. Shout out Reneket joke.

Shout out Jake's little weird tackle dummy that he keeps in his little weird fake locker room set that looks like he films porn in it. Shout out to that. And shout out to you, Luke, one more time, man. Thanks for calling. Shout out to follow ups. And shout out for all that. So keep us posted on the next one and shout out to that call when that happens. Thank you so much, bro. Hi, everyone. The original call from this next-up aired on May 23rd. It's called You Have to Follow Up and it's the second call in the episode. So if you'd like to, you know the rest. Enjoy. Hello.

Welcome back to the show. We're here to help. We know that you had one call with us, but we don't know what it was. So why don't you tell us what your first call was? I am the chef from the West suburbs of Chicago. Oh, this is great. Yes. So you're the chef who basically had a, your boss was influenced by another restaurant's Instagram and kind of kept jamming their thoughts and recipes

down your throat and you feel like it's just kind of taking away all the creativity you wanted as a chef, something like that, right? Yes, sir. Nice call, Gareth. Okay, yeah, well, so. And then can we get your name and then just to remind us of that?

My name is Eric. Eric, and then what was our advice to you? How did we end it? What were you going to take? What did you get excited about? You guys told me to try to get them blocked by the other restaurant on Instagram. You know, we can't listen to our own podcast with fresh ears,

but this sometimes feels like it when they tell us what we bitched and what they went with it. I'm like, well, that's insane. I will say while we're in the calls, I feel when we finished, if people saw how confident we were, and then their response is always like, these idiots give the worst advice. And I'm like, what show are they listening to? We're like NASA in the 90s. After the call, we're like, another one another lunar module has landed and then when we hear it back We're like wait, we just threw a ball of foil at a wall

so Eric You tried to get blocked. What happened? Will you walk us through it? So the day after the call The owner I think I called him bill last time. Yeah, make sense Uh, the owner, I think I called them bill last time. Yeah, makes sense. Decided to edit the entire menu and roll out summer specials, which both of those edits roll out on Wednesday. Oh, so you don't know what they're going to be?

No, like I, I've spent. That's the day after the call until yesterday, developing recipes and writing a whole new menu and repricing everything. So I never actually got to enact the advice, but I figured I'd follow up because it's a huge win. Is that a win for us or just for him? No, I think that's a win for you, Eric. That's what you wanted, right? Yeah. Yeah. So I got a lot of input on this one. I am still forced to do something at Ed or Bill's whim. Right. So the day after the call, I go into work and he has what he tells me is his mother's family recipe for checks.

mother's family recipe for Chex Mix. And it is a printout from a website. And he holds it up and reads it to me like it's a child's book and tells me that his mom's been making it for him for years and years and years and years. Hands me the recipe. I look at the date on the recipe from when it was published on the website, December 23rd, 2023. Amazing lie by Eric. Super weird. I mean, by Bill. Super weird stuff. What is the recipe for, is the Chex mix at all interesting?

No, no it's not. And then we, I made the recipe, I priced it out for him. Uh, he didn't like the pricing of it. So we are ordering a pre-made mix and adding more pretzels to it. Cause pretzels are cheap and, uh, golden grams. This is weird. It's a weird follow-up, right? Jake? Yeah. But also, I It's a weird follow up, right?

Yeah, but also, I mean, he owns the restaurant, right? Yeah. Yeah. He owns the restaurant. He owns the building. He could do whatever he wants. It's fine. At least this is the thing that I'm getting enforced.

Yeah. Yeah. But he's like, I like this weird check mix. I'm going to pretend it's a family recipe. Who cares? Right? It sounds like you kind of work for John Taffer on like Bar Rescue, where there's like some cheesy ideas, but who cares?

Yeah. Yeah. I would say that. And you get to roll out your own menu soon, which is kind of what you want it to begin with. So in some ways, that's Wednesday. It comes out. Yeah.

So in some ways, even though you didn't listen to anything of the call because you didn't have to, an old saying that we've been saying that's been passed down from our grandparents was that sometimes we pitch you got to like run a mile to go a block. Yeah. And this, you know, and Jake, I'll be honest, this feels like one of those. Yeah, because we did all these weird... Tell them why. ...duchess and spent 30 minutes.

Yeah. And in the end, you got to make the menu. Just make a checkmate. And you're making... Oh, Gary. Oh, sorry. Because in the end, you're not copying this other restaurant. Yeah.

So they have been technically blocked. In a way. In a way. There's another part of it, and the other part of it is It's not public knowledge, but we are going to be opening in another location So now he is browsing the Instagram of all of the restaurants in the area of the second location But I but I also think you could frame this as a win Because split his attention on another place. Let's get him in that he's gonna be off on another place for a little while, too

Something a lot of people have said about sometimes the advice we give here Eric is sometimes we're gonna make you run a mile to to walk a block and This kind of feels like one of those to us. So it also just feels like, you know, you work for kind of a cheesy guy, and you might be too good of a chef for these restaurants. Because I got a feeling he's going to be seeing he's going to be creating some version of flavor town at one of these restaurants. It's going to be checks mixed to like weird jalapeno poppers. And you might just want to get out of there at a certain point if you can. Once you see the word donkey sauce and writing, it's time to go float

that resume to other places. Oh, we're close. We have an awesome sauce. An awesome sauce. So he's copying. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's Does your place serve alcohol? Yeah, I actually shared the links to my place and the restaurant from the other call to Kevin. We are a brewery. Is there a drink on the menu that's totally blue?

No. Luckily, no. Does he have bleach blonde hair that's spiky and go tearing, and he wears sunglasses on the back of his head and he drives around in a red convertible. Actually, to describe him best, imagine a mildly Republican Santa. That's Guy Fieri. Kidding?

He's got the name Guy Fieri. Eric, I think the move is you need to make fake Instagram accounts of restaurants in the area with recipes that you like and then send them to Bill and say, hey, check this out. This one actually looks pretty good. That way you can just make what you want. That's interesting. I don't like that it came in at the end with the best advice. Yeah. You know, couldn't be fun. Yeah. Go ahead, Eric.

Oh, I was going to say, I'm just extending the offer that if you guys are ever in the West Chicago suburbs, I will feed you if you come extending the offer that if you guys are ever in the West Chicago suburbs fun I will feed you if you come in Right, you know, you know, here's just another pitch going off of Kevin's That's probably more trouble than it's worth, but it could be really funny and it could be fun for you what if you created a full fake restaurant and You sent it to us and we tried to get our followers on Instagram to follow so that you got like at least like 500 followers and you just

took photos and you made recipes of all the food you wanted so that hopefully he followed it and then was copying. It starts following him. Yes, that all of a sudden, he, it follows the restaurants and then you as you catfish him. Oh, and then on that, it's all the food you want. So hopefully he goes to you and goes, you know, my mother had an old recipe for this turkey meatloaf thing.

And you go like, uh-huh. And then he just is copying your ideas. I like that. I'm really into this idea. Because that could be really fun for you. If you send it to us, we'll have Caitlin on social media just ask some of our followers to follow so that it's got some legitimacy.

But let's create an entirely fake... Hell, man, maybe we'll go to Squarespace and see if we can make a website for this. Oh my God. I mean, is this something Eric, you would want to spearhead if we kind of created a thing, we create a fake restaurant, we create a fake menu, you would have to run the menu, obviously, but we would try to, we could probably help with Squarespace. We can get a website kind of set up and see what we can kind of do. See if we can get this guy copying you.

I'm super into this idea. Okay, fine. I think we can do this. I think so too. Kevin, could you maybe see if Caitlin could run point? That and people pointed out since your episode has come out that the restaurant that has 35,000 followers that your boss keeps copying only has like 15 likes of posts.

Kind of lightly being accused of buying some followers. So if you need to do that for your new one, just saying, seems like it's fooled him before. Interesting. Yeah. I didn't even notice that. Okay. It's a good thing to have in your back pocket

the next time that he's showing you some of the stuff and or being like, they do it right. Be like, yeah, they also buy followers. Yeah. Of 35,000 with 10 likes. I have a wild pitch. Who is this guy? You're in Woodridge, right?

Am I allowed to say that? The restaurant is? Yeah. So my grandma lives in Woodridge. I'm going to try to pitch to my dad to bring my grandma to the restaurant and maybe like loudly talk about this new place while he's there, while your boss is there. This is a shocking pitch. Shocking.

Kevin, we didn't know you had boots on the ground. I only realized you were a mad person. You're going to get your grandma going, I love Rocky mountain tax. Say it again, Graham. I don't think he went to the bathroom. Say it again. I'm looking at a map, dude. I know exactly where your place is.

My dentist, my childhood dentist was across the street. My family's going to have a damn field day at your place. Can we get the dentist there too? Yeah, I'll call it then. This is the weirdest Kevin I've ever seen Looking at locations near the CSI the restaurant enhance

Enhance so Eric, what do you think about creating a fake place? kind of seems like you're almost out of the woods on this but Maybe there's a way to catfish this guy and get exactly what you want But it would take work from your end Is that something you're actually interested in doing or you got too much work making the menu as is? Honestly, I've already started on brainstorming ideas while we're talking. So I'm into making a big restaurant I think this is an interesting play and if we catfish him the dream would be this guy and You as the guy DMing back and forth, where

the dream would be him trying to court you. You know, this could be that song, if you like Pina Coladas, you know, and then in the end it was you all along. Oh my God. If all of us, what Kevin? My dad's been to your restaurant before. What is happening? It's almost like two podcasts are being recorded. There's the one that Jake and I are doing and then there's the one that Kevin's doing.

Kevin what the fuck? And Kevin's is amazing. Alright go ahead Kevin. I'll ask. I asked my mom have you or dad been to this place? My mom says dad has not me. What the fuck? Is this crazy?

So we're going to get it's OK. So we're going to create a fake Instagram for you. Kevin. Oh, my God. My grandma loves the wings at this place. This is by far the most. The follow up has ever felt like the first call. And so there's so much more work to And so Kevin, can we wrap this up? Are we waiting to figure out what your dad ordered?

We can wrap it up. She is responding to the last time he was there. Go ahead. Kevin's dad is there right now. Last summer. Dad's the boss. Oh my dad. My dad just bought a restaurant.

He kind of sucks. Last summer, so right when I took over. Yeah. All right. He likes it. He said it was cool. Oh my dad, my dad just bought a restaurant He likes it he said it was cool, oh really I'm done that's all I got So Eric follow up with us again Kevin will follow up with you too about the Instagram account and maybe we can start building this thing and see what we can do Great. Sounds good to me guys. Thanks so much buddy. Good luck to you. Talk to you soon. Yep, thank you. Talk to you soon. See you man.

Okay, bye. Hey there, jumping in after the episode, Eric made the Instagram, it's called snowcapsandtaps. The link for it is in the description. Please if you have an Instagram, give it a follow. We really want to blow this thing up for him and would be really fun. So thank you and bye. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer and editor is AJ McKeon.

Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakeo and our video editor is John De Bruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh, and you can check out his music at oliverraleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I.com. The album artwork is by James Fostike. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fostike, D-I-K-E, and if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to garethrentz.com.

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