We're Here to Help - WEIRD Here To Help: Community Garden Drama & Clown Hotel 

Episode Date: July 24, 2026

A caller seeks help to pacify unrest in her neighborhood garden. Later, a caller can't decide whether to take her niece to "the scariest motel in America," or find a less terrifying road trip option.Guest theme song by Michael Peloquin!Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Friends, are you weird? Do you need help? Then you've come to the right place. It's weird here to help. Okay. Eric and Steve. Well, well, ladies and gentlemen, they are giving us the microphone again. And we all get to celebrate.

It's Weird. Here to help with the greatest man we know in Omaha, Nebraska. It's Steve Berg. Steve, how are you, buddy? Oh, I am fantastic. It's hot. It's humid. It's a classic Midwest summer.

I played some tennis this morning. I went through about one and a half Naljean bottles. But boy, stain hydrated, Eric, wearing sun hats. Got to keep that sun off the old face. I've had a brush with skin cancer. So, you know,

when you see me outside, I look like a white ghost, dude. I have like sunscreen all over the place that's dripping in my eyes. My eyes always sting. I got a giant sun hat that my wife likes to make fun of me. Even though she bought it for me, but I look like the biggest goon in the neighborhood.

Mine went the other way. I went to the Dodger game yesterday because it was so hot, tickets were so cheap. And I live three and a half miles away. So I'm like, I'm going to go park for free. And I got my giant sun hat. And my wife's like, are you wearing that? I'm like, yeah. And she's like, it just makes your head look so small.

Shouldn't she be fighting? She's always on me for sunscreen and stuff. But apparently she's a fashion forward lady first. Because Steve, I'll admit this. I have a small head. Seven and a half, but I look at my body and my head doesn't match my body. I have a small head. You have a generously sized head.

You have to get your hat specially ordered. I do from crinially endowed. That's a shout to crinially endowed. That's a shout to Cranceryly and dad. That would be great. I've been wearing your hands for about a decade. If you ever go to a business, let me know because I'll buy all your inventory. Cranially endowed, we'd love to have you as a sponsor.

But I think Steve has such a giant head because you have such a massive brain. And I think our listeners would agree. Oh, yeah. But I feel like a big brain, I think scientifically, it's not an indicator of a smart person. So it might be the opposite. The big brain could explain some of my setbacks. Well, Steve and I both have Nordic blood. There's now these alien files are getting released.

Who knows if it's a sci-op? But they're saying that Nordics might be an alien species. So that's maybe why Steve and are your friends and vibrate together. That's true. Do you buy that, Steve? No, I don't. I want to believe. I'll explain to you off the air why I don't think it is.

I think it's a problematic trope, I think. But you know, me, I'm always paranoid and looking into the... No, yeah. I'm surprised... Of everything. Isn't it weird, though? It's got to be weird for you, Steve, that this stuff's now in, like, the paper, and this stuff's on regular websites of, like, government releases,

Nordics are an alien species, lizard people, perhaps ruling the world. I'm like, this is the news. What happened? It's crazy. And honestly, it's just all the... It's a lot of like huge claims with absolutely beyond zero evidence. And as much as I love all this stuff, it's all folklore, maybe until it ain't. And so I think it's also something that's making people crazier.

I don't think that's a very positive thing to be putting out there that when you have the vice president of United States saying that, yes, I believe in UFOs, yes, I believe in occupants driving UFOs. And he thinks they're demons. He said that on an hour-long talk show format to put that kind of messaging. into the world, I think is very negative and problematic and also zero evidence. What is a demon? Do demons exist? I don't think so. I think it's something from mythology.

However, Eric, back to Sunhats. Andy Dick might be a demon. Well, you know, he's not a demon. You know. But Eric, I am so curious because it's summertime and summertime means boomers are on tour.

Oh, brother. I know. I know you've been out and about going to these solo shows, seeing a little man by the name of Robert Zimmerman. Is it Robert Zimmerman? Yeah. Robert Zimmerman originally. Yeah. Bob Dylan from the great state of Minnesota.

How has he been live? Not only that, Bob and I might be related. Have I told you this? What? Bob's grandmother is named Luba Edelstein and pronounces it the same way I do, the old country way. Okay. And basically, I think Bob and I think it's why I have such a poll to him. I think Bob and I are probably related.

This is a new wrinkle to the... No, it sure is. And then have I told you the story of Jake and I seeing Bob Dylan in the wild? No. When Jake and I, so Jake and I years and years and years ago, shot a pilot together. We both still had day jobs. I was working as a bouncer. Jake was working as a professional card player in California casinos.

Which is the most on-brand occupations. That's where Jake's heart really is. Completely. He's ready to go back to that at any moment. But we shot this point. pilot on our own with our great friend Jeremy Connor directing and helping create it, went on to do drunk history and so much more. And we were, Jeremy called in some favors at his old high school for us to shoot there.

And it was our first day of filming, unbeknownst to each other, Jake and I had both listened to Bob Dylan the night before. And we were sitting back, getting ready, and it was a, basically, it was that we did overly simplistic versions of American historical events to put on shows for kids at assemblies. So I was dressed as an indigenous chief. This probably was appropriating and inappropriate at the time. It's a different time. Noble intentions. Yes. The song's called we could have worked it out if we just asked questions. Jake was just dressed as a shyster land stealing cowboy. And the gooder and close.

And the great Guder and Flaherty burst backstage where you're changing. She's like, Dylan's here. Dylan's here. So we walk out and I'm in a full regalia with a headdress. Jake is in a full shady cowboy outfit. And not 10 feet from us, Bob Dylan is at Crossroads High School in Santa Monica with his son and grandson. And he was looking to tour the high school while a security guard said,

you can't tour today, they're filming. At which point you would think Jake and I would both just say, uh, it's okay, come on in. We literally neither of us could get a word out. Bob Dylan was 10 feet from us in his hoodie. He turned to see what the filming was, saw Jake as a cowboy, me as a chief, and just, this was just another day for Bob Dylan,

just nodded his head and started shuffling off. We couldn't get a word out. Any other time now, even I've done it now, Are people coming like, oh, come on in. Come check it out. Here, we're doing a mayonnaise commercial. But Bob Dylan was there, and it felt like we were blessed with the spirit of Bob Dylan on that day. And it was truly, truly amazing.

That is incredible. And it was amazing. He was in a hoodie. And that's probably the first thing I should mention about seeing Bob Dylan right now. He is performing even outdoors and heat in a North Face hoodie. He has a black hoodie and a white hoodie, depending on the mood. And the hoodie is pulled up the entire time. because he's sick of people taking videos and pictures.

I love that. It is the funniest thing ever. I'll get a lot of shit for this. I know a lot of listeners have seen Bob Dylan and it wasn't great. Well, he is singing his ass off these days. He's committing to it completely. He's also singing mostly songs from his new album,

no hits, so people are very upset. And I'm surprised continually people are seeing Bob Dylan and not knowing he's an iconoclast and he's just going to do what he wants, but he's pissing a lot of people off. You know what? You know what? That's always so weird to me because, like, I, like, sure, it's nice to hear, like,

songs from old albums. That's great. But I really, like, if I love a band or, you know, a musician, like, I'd love to see the new stuff. That's what they're excited about playing. You don't, you don't make a, you make a record so you can tour the music. Musicians love to play music live, and they want to share the new album. Like, I don't understand that disconnect with people.

Yeah, or not doing a minimum amount of Googling. Because it's the same with Neil Young is he's my favorite concert in the world to see. And I want to see where he's at now and he's constantly creating. And I love Bob Dylan's new album, Rough and Rowdy Ways. But I once went in Santa Barbara and I was general admission pit tickets and I was surrounded by grocery executives and lobbyists. Grocery executive. Yeah. And they were talking before the show.

Like Joey Ivy and the. Oh, yeah. And they had like mistresses there with him and they worked for Safeway. And then one of them worked for a big distributor. Yeah, I heard them all loudly. Yeah. And they're like, yeah, he's going to come on and do Haragall. They'll do old man.

Do rock in the free world. I'm like, ho, ho. Oh, someone did not Google because Neil Young came out and played his album, The Monsanto Years. These were the angriest humans I've ever seen in my life. Drunk and raging. Monsanto's still a lot of good. Radham kills.

like yelling and it made Neil so happy. He started playing songs from Time Fades Away just at them, these angry songs. And they did not, I'm like, do some Googling. I try to avoid set-less, but Neil Young's going to play what he wants. Bob Dylan is going to play what he wants. I love it. I want to hear what they're there right now. I agree.

I agree. The aliens that have taken over in 200 years listen to Bob Dylan, they're going to love rough and rowdy ways as much as Mr. Tambourine Man. I don't need to hear Mr. Tambourine Man again. Bob's also firing guitarist left and right these days, but I got to see him play with Julian Lage, who is a guitar prodigy, who had a documentary made on him at age eight, and watching Bob Dylan figure out things of this guitarist, he's one of the best guitarists in the world. It was a joy for me.

And yes, I went by myself. Santa Barbara, Palm Springs, San Diego, sitting by myself. If you get an up-close seat, you can do it very cheaply if you're by yourself. So I got a ticket for $150. I was front row in San Diego. And I saw him staring daggers at Bob Britt, the other guitarist. And he was furious at this guy. And he gave him a look that could kill a goat from 1,000 yards.

And then two days later, Bob Britt posted on Facebook, his flight path from Austin, Nashville, and just posted Sia-Narabob. And he quit the band. What? He quit the band. Yeah. So you know what? Tony Garnier, band leader, bass player, just found another guitarist.

With you wearing a black hoodie? night because I wonder if that means we got the darker energy black see I wonder if that is representing how he's feeling like sometimes I'll be I think so I think so because he was definitely in like it's outdoors you're in a north face hoodie and you're 85 years old and like I wouldn't have it any other way Stephen no I know you don't consume alcoholic beverages anymore but like I mean you know these are long shows like do you enjoy any concessions is it like a bottle of water like a cherry cook what do you what do you have to drink no I have a very I have a very specific thing because I'm also driving myself in and out.

Sure. So I'm not embracing a teacher plant. I'm driving back from Palm Springs. I'm driving back from San Diego. I limit my water so I don't have to leave during the show. Because a lot of people are drunk. There's crazy lines at the restroom. And what if he plays something like I saw Bob Dylan and Chula Vista last year and he

busted out a perfect version of Ricky Nelson's garden party? Because he was a Ricky Nelson guy. I like Elvis. I respect Elvice. But I was the Ricky Nelson guy. I loved Ozzie Inherit. I felt like it was my family. So what if I'd had to go to the bathroom and I miss the greatest Bob Dylan's song, I think, ever done live?

I hear that. Watch the Garden Party Chula Vist on YouTube. You will see an overjoyed, happy Bob Dylan with a grandpa energy giving a damn about people thinks. So I would say go see Bob Dylan. He's touring this summer to your town. I have many other exciting vital seniors I'm seeing. seeing the guess who we're seeing the doobie brothers uh we're seeing willie nelson on sunday steve i'm going by myself to the orange county fair i will see my buddy micha nelson aka a particle kid

and it's going to be a transcendent show but like willy nelson's 93 what else do you have to he was born before elvis go see willy nelson friends yeah agreed agreed don't miss it don't miss bob dillan just you know no he's not going to play mr tambourine man or how many roads yeah well you know we got a boomer caller from what I hear coming up. So folks... And did I not call it? Did I not... Hearing the whole issue and then I said, is this a boomer and it was?

Look, folks. Because I am the last boomer. Eric is tempted in a way. I spent time with boomers constantly. I love them. I'm lucky to be accepted by them. But we're going to start limiting their social media, starting with this call. Weirdness abounds.

Steve's weird. I'm weird. You're on Weird here to help caller. What is your name? and where are you calling from? And we are brought to you by Dunk Man. Presented by Shaquille O'Neal. Dunk Man is a new electrifying dunk league

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Get involved with Dunk Man. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by booking.com. Booking.com makes it easy to find and book the right stay. My mother's in town. We've been hanging out. I, you know, work a lot. So we started talking about maybe we should go for a little day trip or something like that. And honestly, part of the history of the show is always stuck in my head when that guy tried to feed ostriches in Solvank, California.

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And then you go on booking.com and you go, what am I, why I should, I don't even need a home. Whatever it is, booking.com makes getting from here to there easy. If you want to travel, go to booking. com. Go on book that trip. It's easy. Booking.com. Booking dot. Yeah. And we were brought to you by Quince. Oh, the joys of Quince. Ah, Quince makes summer better.

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You can call me KDOT. It's one of my lesser known nicknames. Thank you. Hi, KDOT. Welcome to Weird Here to help. Wait, is that for Catherine, Catherine Dorothy? No, she's trying to keep it anonymous.

It does not. It does not. I am keeping it anonymous, but it's also, you know, the nickname of Pulitzer Prize winning rapper. It's Kendricks. Oh, Kendrick. Hell yeah, Los Angeles.

represent. They're not like us. Where are you calling from, Kedana? I'm calling from the Great Lake State. The Great Lake State from the Midwest. We love it up there. We love it up there. Hell yeah. No, it's the great. That's Michigan, right? It is indeed. It is indeed. You know, I've never been to Michigan.

You've never been? Well, I was at the Detroit airport, but I didn't. Oh, no, you got to get out. I worked in Detroit and fell in love with it. I really want to. It's truly incredible. In Detroit, Pizza's really having. its moment right now, which that is like the most popular piece of property in America right now. No, Detroit rules. And I was out there maybe eight, ten years ago, and you could just see

there were all these amazing houses for 60 grand. And you're like, if I had money back then, what a bottom. What have bought them. What have bought a house there? Because now they've exploded. Greek town's amazing. All over Detroit and the people there Midwest are awesome. I did the last movie filmed under the Michigan tax credits. And I hope they bring them back. Because nobody builds and makes stuff like Detroit. Is Detroit goes so goes. America. KDOT, you're on a desert island. You're stuck there. You are going to give us your Desert Island album book, movie, slash premium television show. And now for little Stevie Berg, we want your meal because we are leading into Stevie talking about food here. Oh, my goodness.

It's big. Perhaps I'll be, oh, that is big. And I think I have to begin with meal, because I have a Midwest mom, you know, and she cooked every day. And so, gosh, it would have to be one of her meals. Maybe I stick with the meat and potatoes of the Midwest and go with my mother's meatloaf. I love me. I knew you were going to say that. I knew you were going to say that. Oh, how did you know?

I mean, adorned with bacon. Let's just start there. Excuse me. That is leveling up. I've never had a, well, I don't know. to find words right now. I've never seen Steve this happy. I'm flummoxed and

titillated. Well, because the next day, what you're going to get is a meatlo sandwich. Buddy. That's where the buddy is. Mayo, ketchup, cheese. I don't heat it. I like a cold. No, you keep it cold. It's fun of heat it. It congeals together. It's so good. We'd be blasphemous

to heat it. It's on some sourdough bread. Oh, stop it. It's fermented. It's good for you. It's the only one that doesn't hurt my stomach. I used to get meatloaf sandwiches and take him to school. That was the best day on like a white bread. It was called Franz Bread, the Good Bread. There's a lot of life in every loaf.

Boy, do I miss that life. You can, I one time did a tofu meatloaf, and it wasn't great, but it was serviceable. No, do it beyond. And then just, you know, do a really nice tomato on top. That's smart. I do peppers and onions in there. Sure. Oh, yeah.

You do an egg replacement, but I eat eggs now. You do an egg in there, and then, oh, boy. This should just be a meatloaf podcast, actually. Okay, so we are deeply in agreement on the meatloaf. What else you got for us, KDOT? Album, we're going with Graceland, Paul Simon. Oh, I love it. I love it.

I've seen him live and he busted out diamonds in the souls of her shoes recently. It was so awesome. I'll give you a pass on that because I love your meatloaf call, but I'm not a Paul Simon guy. Why is that, Steve? It's pretty simple. His music is pretty bad. I like Simon and Garfunkel, but Art Garfun was carrying him the whole time. You're saying Art Garfunkel is carrying Paul Simon.

You're the first person in history to say this. Everyone knows that. No, but Graceland is incredible. Graceland sucks. He may have dipped a toe in the appropriation waters and not properly compensated those new seasons. I mean, they all wrote the music and he just lifted it and didn't pay anyone. Didn't even give him session fees. He gave him session fees, I'm sure.

I am in full support of Graceland, but we are agreed on meatloaf, deeply split on Graceland, but I would encourage everyone see Paul's. Simon on this current tour. And that's my own thing. That's my own thing. Yeah, I didn't know this, Steve. Steve, you're not a Paul Simon guy. That's interesting. I can't do a lot of like, white guys doing world music. Like, Sting makes me uncomfortable. He makes me want to hide under a coffee table. What is your movie slash premium television show? Okay, movie. I got to go with what about Bob. Love it. Oh, Dr. Dr. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. KD. I could see Steve Berg beautifully rocking it. Don't hassle me on local shirts.

That's exactly right. Right, the blue. And look, say what you want about Dreyfus. That's probably his best movie. And he and Bob fought. He and Bill Murray fought horribly. Yeah, they hate each other. They did not get long well in real life.

Yeah. Dreyfus, that might have been as yak years. We would do a lot of yak. Oh, yeah. And then we just need a book. Okay, the book is leaves of grass, Walt Whitman. Love a long-form book. Steve, you haven't anything to rain on that parade?

Are you anti-Midens? No, not at all. I'm pro-witman. I'm pro-witman. And I love that. Meatloaf and Whitman, you agree. I'm with you on all four. Three or four. And plus the meatlo thing was so strong that it really,

it offset and negated the Graceland. Okay, good. We're salivating. We're basically brothers and sisters now. But, yeah. What can we help you with today? Well, I desperately need your help. And this surrounds some unrest at the community garden.

And. Oh my God, I'm so excited already. Unrest of the Community Garden, a limited series on Lifetime. I loved it so much already. I'm a huge fan of what's happening already. Go ahead, please. I could just give you lists and lists of all the glorious things we're growing. Unfortunately, the human drama is a little bit overshadowing the glorious growth of plants.

Boy, did you come to the right place. Yeah. So essentially, what's unique about this, because I tend to. to not get involved in human drama, but we do live directly next door. So there's an empty lot next door when we moved here five years ago, about a year into living here. We became founders. We broke ground on what became our community. Wow. It is awesome. I love this. You know, my dream is my dream, if I was ever very successful, would we start a community food co-op. So you're inspiring me right now. It's really cool. Now,

the way that it works, we are renters, and that land is owned by our landlord. And so it's actually free. He is generously allowing us to garden that otherwise unused land for free. He is a cool landlord. And we are able to each, you know, any homes in the area that are interested can can tend a plot of their various choosing, you know, various sizes. And it should be quite lovely. But it is not, you know, it's never been a quench essential garden, and that's why I like it, actually. It's got a really eccentric cast of characters. That's wonderful. As it should.

Yes, as it should. We have some transient stoners who do a little bit less gardening, a little more weed, tending. Is there weed in the garden? No, no, no. There might be. Oh, there might be, actually. I should dig around. Yeah.

Were you talking about pulling, like, weeds or like marijuana weeds or teacher plant weeds? You know what? I think it's a dual, it's a dual meaning for weed. I think both. There were both weeds and weed. I will say a stoner is good at doing the weed. First time, if you have a garden, the worst part about gardening, the worst part about taking care of any piece of land is weeding. It is annoying.

And if you're like me, you don't want to spray all these like, you know, round up chemicals in your yard and kill animals and give yourself terrible diseases. You want to go out natural, which I do. But man, I'll tell you what, I have to weed later today. And my back is not looking forward to it. However, it's a job that needs to be done. There's no getting around it. You have to do some waiting. So thank these transient stoners, because that's the thankless job.

Yes. Thank you to the transient stoners. Yes. We have, yeah, just a really wide diversity of people. It's a blue-collar neighborhood. We've got folks, yeah, of every type in this garden. Beautiful. And, you know, it's interesting you brought up, you brought up weeding because the weed management techniques and the animal management techniques have created quite a rift in the garden.

this year. And I personally, as a peacemaking human, have trouble witnessing what is now like a lot of tension and bad vibes in the garden this year. Oh, no. Thus far. Yes. Gardner's are, are being reckless on the, and emotionally volatile on the group text thread. So audacious as to call each other anti-nature. Oh, I know. How dare you. Ouch. That's a lot of, that's, that's, that's, that's, The sores have been drawn. I went in this group chat. It's getting spicy. Real Housewives of the garden.

It's true. It's true. And I will say, I don't know if either of you have ever participated. Stevie said you would like to participate in a garden, but something unique about a community garden that I actually love is the sort of strange, abrupt intimacy that you develop with people because you're crouching around with them. You're inspecting mildew and aphids. You're attempting to solve problems constantly. and that's been quite beautiful and wonderful in the past, but this year there's a lot of tension and upset. And I guess to wrap it up, as someone in such close proximity to the garden, my husband and my son and I, we kind of consider ourselves guardians of the garden.

We want to know how we can guard it and protect it and usher it into a more peaceful era again without necessarily taking on a leadership role. We don't want to be like actually. managing the logistics and the people. We just want to participate and help it be peaceful and protect it. There's also been, you know, a drunk driver destroyed it. There's been vandalism. She's had a fair share of like actual bad ju-du. So we need, I think, some restoration of of goodness needs to occur. And we're- I want to hear about this group chat too, because it sounds like a lot of the issues are coming from the group chat. Oh, yes. I mean, I mean, there was a lot of things thrown around.

Let's see, I did copy and paste for myself a couple. Please. Wonderful quotes. So once again, it's not the garden. It's technology that's fucking shit up. It really is. When we're in the garden, yes, when we're amongst each other in the garden, things are all right. But then when we get to the group chat, like, here's a couple quotes.

That's America. Right there. Oh, that's America. It's true. Every little space becomes a microcosm of. our larger world. Yeah, even a garden. You nailed it. Thank you. Even a simple community garden.

Like, here's a couple things that have been said. Not only people being called anti-nature. Someone else said, this is turning into an autocracy. I mean, talk about being a micro-like. What in his chat? So bad. Can you just discreetly add, Steve and I? I would love to.

We'll be referees for the group chat. We would just throw gas on the fire so fast. Oh, completely. Oh, yes. We would ruin it. I mean, and some really, really spicy words, like, here's a direct quote, your impatience, compulsiveness, and lack of knowledge of gardening in Michigan are telling and expensive. There's a lot of vitriol.

And I'm flummoxed. I have trouble witnessing it because it's, I mean, I'm pretty sure these people have seen us naked. Like, we're literally right next to the garden. We can hear them when the windows are open. Hold on. Hold on. Why would they have skinned you naked if they're near the garden? And no judgment here. Are you an exhibition? No judgment, Kate out. This garden just got 90% more interesting and I was already fully aboard. But are you walking around nude around the garden with open windows?

For sure. Not, yeah, I mean, certainly it's the open, it's the open windows. And we have a five-year-old boy who absolutely is an exhibitionist. I mean, and he's as he should be. Yeah, absolutely. Standing in the window just. Sure. It's a garden. Why not? Why not? Get weird. It's just skin. Those aren't natural to us. It's just skin. No, no. We've been had this thrust on us and it's bullshit. Now, what led someone to say somebody else's anti-nature in the group chat?

Well, there was a mysterious mowing down of the beloved perennial bed. So actually, who? Someone mowed down like a four-year building of a perennial flower bed. Now I'm pissed. Yeah. That's awesome. I know. Why would you do that? So people are quite, quite pissed. And then, you know, there were various, there were arguments about how that should be dealt with. And yeah, so there's unrest. And I'm not, I know that it's probably not within my capacity to to make peace among this many. I mean, we have like 15 gardeners. So it's an enormous amount of people, but that's a lot of people. It is. It's a lot of cooks in the kitchen. Yeah, yeah. And, and so I just.

wonder how how do we help support a peaceful experience. Now let me tell you what I would do. And, you know, this is, this is very Omaha, Nebraska, Eastern Nebraska tradition. I love it. Multiple times a year, we do like block parties. In fact, I attended one on Saturday for the July 4th and it was just lovely. But getting the, your direct local community together is about as Midwest of a thing to do as possible. I bet that flies in Michigan as well. I would suggest in not even addressing the bad vibes, just like, hey, y'all, what if we did kind of an end of harvest?

Because, you know, in the Midwest, end of harvest is kind of like, basically like a month away or like five, six weeks away, where everything is hit its peak. You're kind of picking everything down. Sure, there's some straggling tomatoes and zucchini, but, you know, for the most part, the peak of harvest, it will be in about four to five weeks, I think. I would recommend a potluck get together at the garden, at the, and this is like blessing the space and turning the negative vibes into something good. Everyone bring a covered dish, whatever that means to you.

Maybe you wheel over a grill, you throw some burgers and dogs on there, nothing expensive because, you know, it's like, you're not going to pay for this. but host it hopefully booze doesn't get too heavy or maybe that's a good thing i don't know but i would say to do to get everyone together and when people are in person face to face a lot of that caddiness and that kind of like you know people had this like courageousness behind the the safety of a cell phone and that's where i was victory like eric mentioned like technology while there's some great things about it like we can do this podcast right there's a lot of shit that goes with it. And a lot of like,

I was on one of those neighborhood apps for a little while, like next door. Oh. And I actually got off it because it was so toxic. Yet every one of my neighbors in my neighborhood, when I see them in person, are the sweetest people. And they, but when they're behind a keyboard,

it's different. I think you need to get everyone together and help remind people that this is a thing of beauty. It is community. Community is the most beautiful thing we have. The, the control. system that lords over all of us, they can't take away community from us. Community is the most

powerful tool we have as local citizens. And I think to get everyone together, please bring a covered dish. If you can't, that's okay. Maybe just buy some like a grocery store cookies or whatnot or, you know, a nice crudite set up. Bake them. Bake them in the nude. Do what you do. Yes. Yes. Lead K.com. Clothing optional. Yeah. Clothing optional. And you should encourage more of your gardening neighbors to nudity too. What if you can turn this into a little mini gardening cult? Well, now we're finding out some of Eric's fantasies. This is very revealing, Eric. Gardening in the nude is pretty, yeah, that's pretty, um, sounds like you're already halfway there. They've already seen you in the nude. But I love where

Steve's going with this. As the great reading, Shankerman said, we are the beta testers for these cell phones, and we didn't know what we were getting into. And for some reason, they just divide people in a crazy way. And it's like, you talk to, like, you talk to, like, like a 28 year old then you're like nobody's didn't care about each other's politics you're kind of quiet about it or whatever and everybody was like yeah whatever now and i'm guilty of it i'll see somebody in person that's posted a bunch of crazy shit online and i'll see in person like i love this person they're so crazy online feeling they've got to post all this shit i'm like i like i like them okay i may disagree with them on this that or this but like who who are the biggest offenders

i love steve's message of unity who are the biggest offenders in the group chat and may i ask a pointed question, I don't think they're much of our audience. Are they boomers? Because I've found boomers are the worst with technology. It is the boomers. Oh, dude. Eric, Eric has been hot on this theory for a while now. I think boomers have had the toughest road to hoe to use a guarding metaphor with technology

because they weren't raised with any of it. We were at the beginning of it with like Oregon Trail and understanding computers. True. Very true. Little bits of it. But I've seen boomers in the pit at Neil Young and Bob Dylan not looking up from their phone. And they're the meanest in these chat groups and friendships over it. My parents have people they don't see anymore because they're different politically online and vice versa.

And I think what we need is a massive national outreach to teach boomers about these phones. And to teach boomers, chill the fuck out. Don't post that. Be kind, be nice. When I see horrible vitriol online, it's boomers. And bless their hearts. We all know I've been called the last boomer and guilty is charged. I'm seeing 80-year-olds in concert this week.

But I think we need a national movement to help boomers understand these phones and understand that they can be an incredibly negative force and understand the boundaries of them that you don't have to answer your phone every time it's answered. mom and dad. My dad will answer the phone at a bridge tournament. My mom will answer the phone at her book club. I'm like, you don't have to answer. Mom, just send me to voicemail.

Well, Eric, honey, I feel so bad sending you to voicemail. I don't ever want to deny anything from you. But it's because boomers don't understand these phones as well. They don't understand the limits. And I knew you were going to say it was boomers that were causing these problems because they get mean as a snake quickly in these group chats. Mean as hell. And I think it's also, but they're open to suggestions, kind of.

Eric, I want to ask you this. Please. So basically what we were diagnosing is, and boy, you have been saying this for a while about the boomers. So we're going to, I really do believe you should have this potluck community little get together. Now, to disarm the boomers and put them in an atmosphere that they're comfortable in, I think some music should be played on a Bluetooth speaker. Oh, I'm here for you. Eric,

what is going to suit the savage beast within in these boomers? I don't know anything about boomer music. I really don't. Like, so Eric, I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. Start with Neil Young Harvest.

Don't do any of the distance. Don't do any electronics. Don't do any. But like gentle boomer music because that's who you're going to have to midwife through this. And let these people see each other in person. And then I think you are less likely to say awful things in the group chat. But what I want today's call to be is a movement toward we have to help boomers with

these phones because you broke it, you bought it. They're out there, but they are mean as a snake. And we have to play soothing music, but I think Steve is right. And KDOT, you may not want a leadership role in this, but you have this ability. I can tell. I don't know what you do for work, but like, you're a leader. And I think you can really start to bring people together, do something in person, put on boomer music, and then it might be a gentle talk of letting these boomers know, and you can do it within the group chat, that this is,

keep it nice, don't say anything in here you wouldn't say in person. And I'm in multiple group chats with many boomers. Two different boomers groups have adopted me as their own, and one of them is very political, but everyone kind of looks at stuff the same way. The other one, I think everybody kind of avoids politics because it's,

you know, we used to have that thing of you don't bring, up religion or politics at the dinner table. And I think that now we are volunteering our religion and politics constantly online, and it's led to this. And when people get in person, they forget about their division. And we all used to get along great. We would have meals and kind of keep that stuff quiet.

And now because everybody knows that everybody thinks, they bring it with them to every social engagement and activity. I think you make a nice hot plate. You have all these dishes. call it a community year-end harvest party, let people see each other. But also, I think KDOT, you got to kind of start regulating these boomers in the group chat and being like, in a group chat, that tone is really not kind. Yeah, I love that.

You know what I mean? And like, they want to be helped. And when I told my parents, like, you don't have to answer the phone every time. You can send me to voicemail. You answer. And dad, you're at a bridge tournament. Mom, you're at your book club. And then I'm on speakerphone talking with everyone in the book club.

and God bless they're lovely people, but we don't need to have this interaction right now. And I think just a gentle nudging of the boomers, and I'm just going to say this as a larger thing that we should deal with the society, we've got to start helping these boomers with these phones. Yeah. Because they're hypnotized by it.

Let's view them as victims. There's a new technology that comes in. They're not familiar with. They didn't grow up with any technology. They grew up with a telegram and a hard line. So we need to start helping these boomers. and as the last boomer is somebody who spends a lot of time

with elderly people we have to start helping them because they don't know and they're kind of victims and they don't know they're alienating and driving people away and they don't know they are the most addicted to their phones

out of everybody else and Kada I would say in you know as an homage to your sweet sweet Midwest mother make it bring a meatloaf yes

Bring a meatloaf. You know, bring a goddamn meatloaf. And honestly, that will disarm everyone. And if there may be like some nogchampa, there could be some hippie boomers, which are hippie boomers too, like who were former hippies, are the most volatile. They went from peace of love to Wall Street, dude. Woodstock turned to Wall Street and they never look back. That's exactly right.

And they shouldn't be pissed off. They bought houses for 40 grand that are now worth a million. Come on. Take it easy. Life's pretty good. It all work for you, boomer. Yeah, you're fine. You're fine.

You're welcoming it. But I think this is such a good way to go. Do it at the end of, call an end of harvest party. Everyone bring a carbon dish. You're making that meatloaf. Like Eric said, take his advice about like setting the atmosphere with boomer tunes. Now, if you have to spin up some like low, kind of low THC teacher plant, that will probably drop their shoulders. get him in a better headspace too.

Boomers love weed. Well, hold on, but Steve, I'll say this is something that's been to a lot of concerts. So I went to Desert Trip, which was Old Chella, with all these. And also, boomers drink. And when they drink, they want weed. But I watched at least three different boomers. And they'd get warnings from the younger generation. Like, this stuff's a lot stronger.

Oh, I had more weed than you can believe. I smoked this one. I'm like, I know that. But it's a lot stronger now. And I watch three different boomers drop and sit in a fetal position. because the weed is so much stronger. So if you give a boomer weed, make sure it's a nice, gentle outdoor.

We're talking 16 to 18%. This is my life. It shows me somehow, but I've watched a lot of boomers have difficulty with weed and teacher plants because it is so much stronger. And I'm the rare guy that has known this because I've seen a lot of boomers

have horrible times at concerts. And you've given it to them, probably. I gave him a warning first, bud. No, I won't give a boomer weed because I know how it is. And I'll watch other people do it or it'll get passed around. I'm like, be real careful that friend.

And then they always get mad, mad like they do in the group chats. Because I won't even pass someone. Be real careful with that friend because I can tell they're drinking and haven't had it while and all of a sudden they're ready to smoke for the first time since 75

before they went to Wall Street. And it doesn't end well. So, Kada, I know he's thrown a massive amount of advice, life theory, my ideas on boomerism and group chats. What are you thinking here? What are you going to do?

Okay, here's what I'm, here's what I'm feeling from everything that you said. And thank you. I love you. I too, like you. Thank you. I love you guys. I have an affinity for, for an older adult. Yeah.

And I truly, I'm a big fan of the boomer music. I mean, come on, Paul Simon. Yeah, you're me. Yeah. Yeah, I am. I really am. I actually put on Grace Lynn. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I will. It probably will work. It probably will work. It probably will work. It will soften them. And I actually have another really fun idea that I thought of as you were speaking, Steve, which is not only to do an end of harvest potluck,

but what if there's a fun requirement that you have to use ingredients from your own patch? I love this. To create the dish. Damn, Kada. That is awesome. Wow. Yeah, incorporates at least part of what you grow into your dish. that yeah i first off if i got invited to that party you have no idea how excited i'd be i would i would be

like just up like oh this this is the kind of party i want to attend at this age is a community garden party where i'm supposed to incorporate my my own produce into a dish uh yeah yeah yeah you had me at that sister i would put one tiny note on the invitation this is a cell phone free gathering. Because they will get on Facebook anywhere and just say it's part of the theme. People do things for the gram.

The people that are angriest in the group chats will show up and just be on Facebook the whole time. Yep. Oh, it's true. We've had some of the wonderful boomers in the group doing like, you know, doing vitriol in the text thread and then going to Facebook and doing a monologue there. Of course. A written monologue. Yeah. About

what has happened in the group threat. So there's lot of sharing going on. And I think, yeah, yeah, I do think that sort of, I love the idea of, because really, it's a long time coming. It's kind of a shame. We've never done a pot like, this is the fourth year of the garden. And it's kind of shocking. No one has kind of had the, I don't know, it's a lower income neighborhood.

I think a lot of people are strapped. And it's sort of like, you know what? We need to really relish in our, in our harvest and the beauty and bringing all the bees and the birds to this area. Like, let's celebrate that. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I love that.

It's a very long time coming. Thank you for encouraging it. It's something we thought of in the first year and have never done. Yeah, this is great. And, like, you know, and like, I hear you, times are tough for, like, everybody. And like, you know, especially, you know, like, in like, no need to make this extravagant. Like, I think, like, you know, you can jam Ocano on this, this situation. And really, it's just like, hey, man, no fuss to us.

If you can't bring anything, that is cool. We just want you there. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's all about like, and you know, even if it's just bring some of your zucchini's and you didn't cook them down, but you're just like giving them away. I think, I think this is such a positive way. And also people will drop their shoulders, let their head down and go like, you know, maybe they'll think twice before they start spewing vitriol on group messages. You know, like I really, I think it will remind people what the beautiful thing is what you're doing.

Because the community is wonderful. They can never take community away from us. And I'm telling you, this is such a high positive thing. So protect the positivity of the community garden at all costs. And I think this is a great way to do it. And it's a self-for-free event. And for everybody listening, this helps me a lot of somebody hangs out with a lot of boomers and feels bad for them because they're on Facebook all the time and they're watching cable news all the time.

Whether it's MSNBC, Fox News, CNN, and they're on it all the time. View them as victims. They're a massive technology absorber that they weren't prepared for. And you can get mad at them and get frustrated. or you'd be like, well, they're victims. They don't know how to deal with this. It's a technology beyond their control. And what if we can kind of help the midwife through all this technology in a funny way?

Just from somebody that's a lot of times with boomers and is in two different boomer chat groups, works with boomers and loves elderly people and thinks there's a ton we can learn from them all. And I've been better for it. View them as victims. They didn't choose this. It chose them. We're the beta testers for all this. We did know a BDA division.

Look at that retirement. community, the villages. They have physical fights now over politics because they're on Facebook and cable news all the time. Don't they like bone all the time and get SDDs? There's a huge STD. I volunteered at the Woodland Hills Motion Picture Theater retirement home and let me just sell you. Be healthy men. Hang on because there is nothing more desired than a man in a retirement community because the numbers are low. So it was like eight to two, eight women to two men and they would, they were fighting over the men during an improv exercise. Fighting.

Fighting. Why don't I get to be in a scene with Alfredo? Why don't I get to hitchhike with Alfredo? We did zip-saps off together. So, no, it's a whole other world, but there's, so many communities value their elders. And one of the best ways we can value and respect our elders now is to gently teach them about social media and teach them about the limits of this technology. So KDOT, were we able to be able to.

able to help you today? Absolutely. This is good. Okay, well keep us updated. We want pictures from this community gathering. Oh, we will. We'll totally send. Yes.

Please video pictures. We would love to see it. And if you need help on your playlist, look no further than our resident boomer airhouse. I'm here. I'm here. Start with Graceland. Start with Harvest.

Don't look back. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe some Jonny Mitchell. Give me some Johnny Mitchell. Yeah. Oh, forever. Sister Johnny.

I love her. One of the best. Well, KDOT, you're a great person, you're a great human being. Bring that meatloaf and wow, everybody. You could even bring it cold and make sandwiches. I mean, that might be fun too. It'll help stretch that. Ooh, with fresh peppers that we've grown.

We have so many pepper-fying. Yeah. With the cost of beef right now, you make that stretch. Don't be afraid of less of breading in there. You know, come on. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. There's four ingredients in it.

Sure, sure. Richard Berman's Warren on Veganism. Check it out. Okay. All right, Frank, great to meet you, KDOT. Keep us updated. Take a few pictures with your cell phone and then put that thing away because this is a hands-free party. Absolutely. That's why we garden. Hell yes, K-Dot. Hell yes. Great to meet you, friend. Peace out, sister.

You too. Have a good one. Bye. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. You know what Squarespace is and so do you. It's where you can build a website. You want to see how it works? Go to garethreth Reynolds.com. I love Gareth, but he is not a technically sound individual, and he built that website himself.

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They make you look the part. And again, it's easy. Nobody's going to go to your Squarespace website and be like, boy, this guy mailed it in. I've worked with Squarespace for a long time. Every website I am associated with, which is quite a few of them, completely Squarespace only. I'm a Squarespace only fellow. What can I say? So go to Squarespace.com slash Gil sent me for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Gil sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, oh, oh, Steve. We have a caller. I'm Julie now. Caller. Welcome to live chat with two weirdos. We're guessing if you're here, you might potentially be weird too. We're about to find out to begin.

Caller, what is your name or fake name? And where are you calling from? Oh, yeah. So my name is Allie. I'm calling from Colorado. Ooh, whereabouts? Do you mind give me like a little more specificity? You don't have to.

Yes. Over in like the Fort Collins area. My brother lived in Fort Collins for like 20 years. I love Fort Collins. I mean, I love Fort Collins. of Fort Collins. Steve's a huge Colorado guy. It's part home for him.

I love it. As an Omaha and, you know, Colorado is where we come to vacation. But Fort Collins is wonderful. There used to be an incredible piece of place called Justine's. I think it might have closed. Did you remember Justine's pizza?

Allie, we're real. None of this is a bit. Welcome. I have not eaten there, so I don't know. You go to Justine's, you get the tavern pizza. You can just cancel Christmas and get ready to have a blast. I've seen a few, I've seen an handful of shows.

of the Aggie, what a great venue that place is. Oh, yeah. Very, very lovely. My brother had a condo right above the Aggie. Name drop, city, population, bird. Not trying to brag. Had a condo above the Aggie in Fort Collins, Colorado must be nice, Buzzberg, must be nice.

So, Allie, you know the glorious fun drill. We want to know who you are. So please tell us your Desert Island album, book, movie slash premium TV show and meal that you're going to eat. Oh my gosh. I've been thinking about this all week. Oh, that's big. We love it.

It's so hard to decide. Right? It is hard, but that's how we really get to know people and can give decent, to admit advice. Okay, well, we'll see how I do. So, Brooke, I would go with the Hunger Games. I love the Hunger Games books. Super fun.

And probably good for a desert island, too, right? Yeah, it will teach you some shit. Things are going to get weird. Hell yeah. Yeah. And then album, you know, I love the Bodyguard by Whitney Houston. That one. Oh, hell yes.

The Bodyguard soundtrack with Kevin Koster? Yes. And I. Whoa. With Steve. I had no idea you could get that high until the moment. I just learned something. Oh, I can get high.

And I'm going to use that to my advantage. Let me also tell you one thing about the bodyguard. I just remember Kevin Koster chugging on orange juice the entire movie. That was my big takeaway. Was he really? He was always ordering orange juice. That was like his little character thing. Oh, I love it.

it and my buddy's in it the great mike star and if the bodyguard was made today i'd probably be on the medium list if a bunch of other people turned it down to play a very bad bodyguard that kevin coxner has to subdue oh kevin's a good guy you know we taught baseball it's in the natural eric so we love the bodyguard that's a that's a classic soundtrack and then what about a uh movie premium tv show are you just going to roll with the bodyguard for both i could but i'm going TV show going Schitt's Creek. That one. Oh, love it.

You like a laugh. You like a laugh. A little zany time. I do. I love Canadians here. Yeah. It's good to laugh. And what is the meal you would

be enjoying? Steve needs to know this. I need to know. No, no. It's like you have you have a food replicator. So it's going to be the same meal for the rest of your life. You have to take that in consideration. Yes.

Okay. I'm going with green chili because you could Put it on everything. That's very versatile. Oh. And delicious. It really is Colorado, green chili, classic. You're going to find that on your almonds, your breakfast burritos.

I mean, on your waybo-thrancheros. It is a staple of the great state of Colorado. God, I love Colorado. I can talk about it all day. But we're not here to talk about Colorado today, Allie. We're here to help you with a little bit of a weird problem. Sister, laid on us. Okay.

So here's my problem. So what I'm trying to get going is when my nieces and nephews, like when they charge, 16 and they get their permit. We go on a week-long road trip. So far, like I've taken my oldest needs to the biggest bottle of twine in Minnesota. Great trip. Oh, so you love a roadside attraction. You were talking to two roadside attraction officiados.

In fact, one day Eric and I dream of doing a road trip down Route 66. You and I, buddy. The whole way. If any producer is listening right now, give Steve and I, we'll do it for nothing. just pay like 80 grand and we will go from the start of Route 66 to the end together. That's right. We'll document the whole damn thing. We just need budget.

We probably do need separate hotel homes because daddy snores. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll definitely need that and a large food per damn. But, okay, so you are obviously this cool, this cool aunt. Yeah, I'm trying to be the cool aunt. I think you're doing. Yeah. I think you're already doing it now.

So please elaborate about this wonderful roacher, buddy. I love this. Okay, yes. So that's my, you know, an example of what my past trips have. in. My niece now, who just got her permit, her name is, let me think of a name, Grace. Hi, Grace. So she wants to go on, like, maybe see some, like, haunted attractions. Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah. And, you know, I started joking around. I'm like, oh, the clown motel, thinking that she wouldn't go for that, because it would, it scares me thinking about it. And that's

what she picked. So, going to the desert. I know this clown motel. I googled this clown motel. So that's in the southwest. Is it New Mexico? Nevada. Nevada. Isn't it on the road to Vegas from California?

Probably. I googled this once. Steve and I actually have a friend that's a clown. And I think people in life need to embrace their inner clown. I think it's a good thing. And what I started doing when I Google, because I'm terrified of clowns, terrified of haunted. So I understand why you're resistant alley for sure. What freaks you out most about the clowns?

a motel. Okay, so I am what they call a cradle Catholic. I was raised Catholic. Don't practice an adult, but just enough to, you know, haunted things freak me out. I'm not trying to bring the devil home with me. Steve and I, you probably heard the debate on here. I was raised the same way. I won't go near a Ouija board of this day. Steve's always threatened to bring them over. I don't want to invite that stuff in. Steve gets a calligraphy pen and builds his own invitations to invite that. I'm not in favor of it. Eric is dead right.

But so is the real issue is that like obviously you don't want to disappoint your niece or nephew, but she wants to go to the clown museum and you're, or the clown hotel, I'm sorry, and do like an overnight and like stay there for a bit and you're like, I'm going to do it, but I'm scared. How do I steal myself? Is that kind of what you're calling about? Or do you want to steer the kid away from the clown museum? All right.

Originally, I was like, okay, how do I say? steer us away to something else that's equally creepy, but doesn't make me look lame. Or should I just suck it up? Now I'm thinking I should just suck it up because she's ready for. I would say this. Now, the great Carl Young, brother Carl, would say if you do not face the shadow, then the shadow is going to pop up all over the place for the rest of your life and takeover. So I do think there's something to facing your fears.

A lot of people in life get super, their hobbies become tangentially related to their fears. I am, like, weirdly, I am scared a lot of the stuff I'm interested in, but it's because the more I know about it, the more information I have, the more disarming it becomes. So my vote, and we'll pitch some advice on this, would be to face the dragon, to face the demon, go to this place and conquer this. And even if you don't fully conquer it, you'll be better off for doing something challenging like this. I think also you're making your, you don't want to like pass your fear necessarily to your niece or nephew. You know what I'm saying?

It's like, look, you're, you can make it into a whole bit. Like, you know, the whole way there, you're like, I'm scared. You're going to have to protect me. You know, you're the leader here. Hold my hand. But I mean, like, what, like, are you willing to go or is this like something deep, like, actually like, I'm legit scared, Eric and Steve. This is going to cause like problems for me?

Or is it something that like, I'm just a little. booked out. In between. I'm like in between. Like I'm, you know, trying to be brave, trying to get excited about it. It's still terrified. Well, and for me, part of the allure of a trip like this would be going somewhere scary and then going and then leaving the scary thing for a hotel with a, with a sheet's with a high thread count and perhaps a conventure breakfast. Like, you know, the idea of staying there for me is so scary because you know those clowns come to life at night. I'm sorry. There's going to be weird stuff in your room. It looks, everybody, what's the name of the clown hotel?

Is it just the clown hotel or? I think so. Yeah, the clown hotel. Like, I truly looked this up and I was, there were a surprising amount of good reviews. Like, it's not a bad hotel. I'm one of those guys when I pick a hotel. I've mastered getting last minute great, inexpensive hotels. That filter for me is always three stars and at least an eight in guest reviews.

And I don't think the clown hotel is checking either. of those boxes. It looks, if everyone right now, you know, not if you're in your car listening, wait till stoplight or pull over. Google this clown motel. It's truly terrifying. It is.

And the clowns for sure come to life at night. And like I think, you know, Ali, what you should probably do is smear on that grease paint, become a clown yourself, have your niece put on clown makeup. You're going to have to get the cheap clown outfit on Amazon. And 100% lean into this. And I think Steve's right.

in the Youngian world, you will conquer and face your fears. But I want you to have a backup hotel at the ready. I don't think there's anything that close to the Clown Hotel is an issue. This is a great idea. Yeah, the backup hotel I saw next to it also on it. So the whole area, I guess. Do you know what the name of the town is? I feel like, you know what?

I feel like you're right with somebody. I know my friend Jessica Napik, who's in the paranormal game. Named wrong. Yeah, not to brag. but she did stay there and she did mention that the town itself has like a history of hauntings. So another, another like hotel motel may not be the solution. But I do like Eric's pen is like having a backup plan in the situation if it becomes too much, it's not a bad idea. However, what I would do, I think, I think like you're, you guys are on both of you kind of mentioned that like if you lean hard into it and take this as like a fun thing.

and even make your fear part of the joke. You said yourself, you know, you like Schitt's Creek. You're a person who likes to laugh. You like a bit. Turn this into a bit. And it will disarm the whole situation, I promise you. Like, if you're comfortable, wear some clownish outfits. Joke around the entire time and the main thrust of like the bit you can work around

is your irrational fear of this clown motel. I'm not saying it's irrational, but treat it. as like an irrational fear. That will be such good fodder for jokes and bits. I think, I think if you go in there with like, this is crazy. It's a good experience.

It's like bungee jumping for hotels. And so like, what can go wrong with bungee jumping? Well, I mean, I'm looking at the website right now and it says the world famous clown motel, quote,

America's scariest motel. Now, this, what is interesting is it started by a guy named Vijay Mehar. I hope I'm saying that right. And Steve, you'll love this. He was a master chef in five-star hotels of repute in Qatar, Australia, and Canada.

And his goal is to make the world's scariest motel. But I'm guessing if you have a five-star chef there, the haunted meals will be good. But I think, yeah, the one next door is also extremely haunted. You're going to have to find another backup motel, even if it's 30 miles down the road. just for your own peace of mind, for your own mental health to get out of Dodge and away from those clowns. Because if they're building it as the scariest motel in America,

good Lord, is that frightening to me. I would also say, Allie, so a lot of times these place, these haunted dwellings that are of some kind of note, the lore and the haunting stuff is complete fiction. I don't, my guess is that this place is, was not haunted until the guy of the hotel said it was haunted.

And then I believe things are attracted to expectations and folklore. And so it may have become haunted, but this place, it's not like it's curse land or anything like that. That I don't believe at all. So the hunt, it's more of a reputation. It's a great tourist attraction because there's a lot of paranormalists out there and weirdos like myself who want to go to a place that. is haunted and go out of their way and detour 60, 70 miles to go to a place that is like

reputationally haunted. I think that's what this is. And obviously clowns is like public speaking is a great known fear. I think I'm to put you at ease, it is fiction. Maybe. I believe. Maybe. Now people's energy, they make cause hauntings and your stuff to have.

Hold on. Who died there? Who died there, friend? sister, people die everywhere. But, but, I will say this, people die everywhere. People have died every building. Potentially the worst advice in the history of this podcast.

People have died everywhere, Steve. I'm not very confident. Oh, yeah, hold on. Ha ha ha ha. The clown motel in Tanopah, Nevada, is famously haunted by the spirits of 17 miners killed in with 1911 Belmont mine fire and victims of the 1905.

Tanopa Plague. It was built by the old Tanopa Cemetery by the children of Clarence David, a miner and clown enthusiast who died in a mine accident. I stand corrected. Allie is a cradle Catholic. Start praying.

And I would definitely what better time to refine your faith? I don't know if there's a Catholic saint of evil clowns to look to. I'm big on St. Janice is the patron saint of actors and sex workers. but find, I would bring some totems for yourself. What better time to reinvestigate your faith

under the current leadership of Pope Leo than to bring something for you as a talisman to keep this stuff away. I'll tell you what, I would have the Catholic candles, I would have totems, I'd have a whole bunch of stuff to counteract all these people that died in a mine. And is there anything more terrifying than a 1905? clown that died in a mine accident.

Like, he probably lived his whole life to haunt people. That's true. I want a backup hotel. Also, another backup idea. I don't know if your niece is a fan of the show. I sure hope she is. We can give you Steve Berg's home address. You can drive to Steve's house. You can watch him mow the lawn

with his shirt off and eat a massive amount of pasta. There are options for you that aren't this clown motel. But if you're determined to do it, I would say for you, no, you control your experience. You control. the energy and find some kind of semi-religious spiritual or psychedelic way to hold your energy in. Yeah, Ali, just to kind of get down to brass text here, because I mean, you know, we've been

pitching some ideas here. Are you wanting us to give you an out, help you get an out with your niece, nephew, or are you wanting us to help give you some tools to help you face this Clamoltle? What is the outcome you're looking for here? Because I'm a little, it's a little murky for me. All right. So I'm open to staying one night. That is the max. Fair.

One more night than I would. I can do. I don't want nothing. I don't want anything to follow me home. And I'm more, like if I bring a lot of religious things and that it knows that I'm scared, are the clowns just going to mess with me more? I think so. I think so.

So I think the more stuff you do to, to, to, that is like, you know, like, Here's what I would do. If I would see you, honestly, you know, I take that back. I would bring things that come for you and make you feel more confident. Like if bringing like some Catholic iconography is going to make you more comfortable, I'd say do it. For me, if I was truly scared of a place,

I would take a hunk of iron in my pocket because I think all this stuff emanates from the Thay realm. Of course, we all know that. But whatever that means to you, like if it's a crucifix or rosary, I don't know much about Catholicism, but like, whatever. it is for you, bring those tools. Also, I'm telling you this. I have gone into a lot of these haunted places.

I've spent the night in caves when I am feeling scared. I've spent the night in caves. Merch. At least a calendar month quote. What helps me is to joke around and sort of take the piss out of the situation by doing bits and leaning into it. So if you're scared, like make the feet. the how you exhibit your fear funny yeah Steve's right piss the evil haunted clowns off

that's right they don't love comedy though and also they love the respect your comments like you know what she's funny we're going to leave them alone and go to the people who are truly scared and I would bring your desert island stuff I would bring the bodyguard soundtrack I'd have Schitt's Creek on for you yes let let your let grace revel in the hauntedness of it all but you're going to have your totems you're going to have your bodyguard soundtrack you're going to have Schitt's Creek. Have you have a nice book there, some reading. You know, I think you can make this experience.

And you do one night. If nothing else, you're now officially a weird here to help correspondent. I'm looking right now. There's an insane amount of paranormal activity in this clown motel. Steve, I think you should go there. I think you should put on to. Yeah, I won't. I will shake your hand and then I will be off at the Ratton.

When you take it out before we get there? I would love to. I mean, like, you know, my, my wife is absolutely, she is, was, you know, kind of like you would cradle Catholic, not practicing anymore, but she has fear of, like whatever we're on vacation,

I was like, what about this place? She's like, absolutely not. And so I'm kind of on my own with wanting to do overnights in a haunted dwelling. So I hear,

I get that, I respect it. However, I think this is so, like, character building for you. It's so cool. Face this fear.

I think it really is cool. It's also showing your niece and nephew. It's like, look, I'm legit scared of this. If I act goofy and I start making a lot of jokes, that's just how I cope with it and deal with it. So join me in having fun in the situation. And we're going to be better up.

Also, Eric, Eric is right. I bet the food is amazing. Five-star chef, Steve. Five-star chef. You're going to be, and I bet. Guys cooking in Qatar. I bet there's like a table-sized Caesar, like a beef Wellington, a lot of classics. Oh, buddy.

You know? Lobster Thermidor. Sand dabs. Sand d'abs. Yeah. You know, the old school kind of 50s. They can ship in fish now. I just read an article in The New Yorker that one of the great sushi restaurants in the world is in Omaha, Nebraska.

It is. It is. He just won a Michelin Star. I mean, like, okay. So, Ali, we've given you a whole bunch of pitches here. What are you thinking? What are you going to do? Okay.

So I'm going to do it. Wow. Yeah. All right. Will you record this outing for us? Please. And so we can keep our listeners up to day on what happens. Or maybe you leave this.

behind in case something awful happens and we can honor your memory. I will do that. Will you have the bodyguard soundtrack? I will play the bodyguard. I'll bring in Mike Star, the bad bodyguard. We will honor you properly and play this clown footage as a warning to people of don't do this. You know, go to the Radisson Hotel, just visit the clowns. But we are proud of you for doing this.

And please record all this because you're now officially deputized as a weird. here to help correspondent investigating paranormal activity at the clown motel. This life chose you, my friend. And get some merch, because I have seen people wear the shirts. If they got some double XL clown shirts, we will rock. No, I probably wouldn't. I probably, I'd be scared. Eric will.

Steve will. Steve invites danger. They have amazing merch. I have seen people wear the t-shirts at the many, you know, there's 6,500 clowns in there. Steel one and send it to Steve. I'm sure nothing bad will happen. a lot. And also, you know, if you do find yourself scared, go back to Whitney. The power of

Whitney Houston, one of the great American voices of all time. And that's, you know what, that is unbelievable. It's so good. It's such a good song. And you know what? Maybe drink some orange juice to honor the great Kevin Costner because that was his drink of choice in that movie. Great movie. Maybe watch it before you go and the brave, you know, like the courageousness that Whitney and Kevin both had in that movie. Let that infect you and let that. be your you're getting light. Okay. That sounds good to me. Allie, you have this. Also, what a cool and what a cool thing to do. There's nothing better. That is one of the best things America has to offer is the road trip because it is such a beautiful country, so diverse and like this geology

and geography. But to go traverse the road, that is like the best bonding experience. These are memories you'll have forever and you guys will laugh about even if you were irrationally scared during this thing. These will be amazing memories in a couple of years. I promise you It'll be very funny. And at holidays, you'll bring this up. I'm hoping that's the case. It is not. You know, you know, you'll memorialize me.

We are too. We're rooting. I'm nervous, but I think. If you get, if you get possessed, I, you know, I'll contact a local, or a priest in Denver who can come exercise you. So we don't worry. Don't worry. I got your back.

We'll see this through. But, yeah, I have some, I have some local connections in Colorado with some local weirdos who can help you out. So you got this, Allie. You are one cool aunt. as Eric Palo Santos himself because he's so superstitious he thinks he's possessed.

And I'm sending Palo Santo to you. Thank you. Yes, I'll need it for me and my knees because I don't want her. Okay, so keep us updated and informed. She won't. She's fine. She's fine. She's inviting this in. The die is cast. We're with you. We're with you. And if you look in your air view mirror

and see a clown, don't pull over. Get to that next hotel. And I would love to know, I would love to know what you had. Please tell me about the food at this clown. I'm so curious. And yeah, we would love some video of a little walkthrough if you don't mind. And you can send that to us and we'll post it on the patron at least. You got it.

Yeah, I'll do it. I'll do my best. You got this, sister. Go get them. I love it. It's on, friend. Go get them. Thank you so much.

Yeah, pack plenty of road sandwiches. You know, you don't want to have to stopping at Long John Silver's in some weird town. Peace out, sister. Have a good one. Thank you, you too. Bye. Weird here to help is hosted by Eric Edelstein and Steve Burr. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at weird, here to help at gmail.com.

Hey, everyone. This is Whitney. And Alexong. AKA the popcorn queen and king. Hey, guys, we just wanted to thank you so much for all the love and support you've shown our family. As many of you know from episodes 224 and 231, we're navigating Alexa's second kidney transplant journey. And that journey has really inspired us to create the. Ravana Kidney Recovery Foundation. That's right. The foundation helps transplant families with everyday

expenses during recovery so they could focus on what's most important. Healing. Now, whether it's lodging, transportation, groceries, or other essential expenses, we're here to help lighten the load. If you'd like to support our mission, you can learn more or donate at A-R-A-N-A-K-R-F.org. That's iranakrf.org. Thank you so much for being such an incredible community. And thank you for always being there to help. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown.

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars. and writers and casting directors. Are we gonna cry?

Yes. A little bit. Are we gonna laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify,

new episodes every Tuesday.