We're Here to Help - WEIRD Here To Help: Fairy Ring Hoax & 90-Year-Old Nemesis

Episode Date: June 5, 2026

A caller thinks she discovered a Fairy Ring and seeks guidance from the world's second-most renowned Fairy Ring expert (Steve). Later, the guys help a caller devise a plan to ward off a cantankerous, elderly arch nemesis. Guest theme song by Michael Peloquin!Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Friends, are you weird? Do you need help? Then you've come to the right place. It's weird here to help. Okay. Oh, that is a nice sound. Are you kidding?

Steve, that is a guest. Very special, weird here to help theme by the great Michael Peloquint. How about that, dude? We have our own theme now, Steve. It's going right to my head. It's going right to your head. We got our own theme.

My God. I'm going to be taking. a white limousine to Trader Joe's from now on. Because once you get your own theme, it's basically you're writing your own check. It's all champagne. Oh, you shouldn't have to drive yourself anymore. Are you kidding? Models.

No, yeah, look, I'm going to get a pool on top of a white limousine, drive around Omaha because now once you have your own theme song, everything's different. Water tastes different. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to need a red carpet rule that for me when I go to the post office now. I just think it's ridiculous. You're taking a white limousine to Trader Joe's. I won't step foot in Trader Joe's now.

as much as I love it, I'm having a rickshaw. Take me to Air One. Damn it. Air One. You're doing really well. Sorry. Sorry. I'm going to have, I can't be, drive or even use my own legs when I get my $24 smoothie. It's going to be incredible. Eric, now let me just switch gears slightly because this is real talk. Please. This is real talk. You are on, have a massively important role on the hit show, the Burroughs, which came out very recently. And buddy, I am just so surprised.

proud of you. I just told guys I'm telling you off the air my mother thinks you she said Eric is a star and guess what I'm like mom I've been telling you that for a long time sister oh I love it and she's a tough customer she's a very she's like an she's like an into art house cinema like she is a tough customer oh I you know I don't know if you've ever told me that that makes sense because my mom was doing then that's how you and I end up into David Lynch and everything else that's exactly right please please thank them but they have to be proud we had a pretty magical night all last Thursday for 13 feet because you my friend soared so high in the finale of ghosts this has been a magic recurring thing there's another side beautiful thing i don't know if i'm allowed to

say in the air with you and that but like that's pretty fun we're both on tv the same night brother that's our dream first off it's rare that two buddies are going to be on tv the same night but it's even rarer that two character actor buddies right are on tv in the same night. Two guys that look like this being on TV is a win. And we want to tell you, because we're thrilled. We know people in the industry, listen. Our giant secret dream of doing all this is we want to be on your TV together. And we take a group rate.

You call Brandy Gold. We're shockingly affordable. Okay. Call Brandon Gold over Taylor Works. Yeah. If you need a duo for your project and think, oh, what about the big guy, little guy? It's been done. What about a million times?

giant guys full of love that were picked on a junior high. That's where you can make a lot of money. And we're here. That's exactly right. Look, Eric, I even have a pitch for the movie that can be funded by like a Scorsese or, you know, an Ari Aster or something like that. What is it? Here it is. Two former Big and Tall models in Cleveland, Ohio, they're a pretty small level.

They do catalogs. They embezzle a very small amount of money. They think that they're now going to get arrested. and go to like some kind of crazy federal prison. So we go on the lamb to Western Nebraska and hide out. And in the meantime, we're singing, we're going for our dreams and becoming honky talk singers. Buddy, I love all this.

I think worst shows will sell in Hollywood tomorrow. Like, that's it right there. And we get to really sing. Yeah, I mean, you and I's big and tall models, and we once pitched a show based on that, but nobody's done it. It's time. Yeah.

So whatever creatives are listening, let Steve and I be your big and tall models from heaven. And the other thing is we're two slices of big pumpkin pie on set. You won't have any problems from us. I mean, do I get a little demanding with the crafted table? Oh, yeah.

I have demand. Well, he demands excellence. If that's demanding, then perhaps you shouldn't hire us because he wants brown rice that's crispy. And don't give him that other bullshit. Don't give him Uncle Ben's. Don't give him in rice. Because we will fucking walk.

And I'll know. I'll know. If he'll short shrift me on the rice quality, I am absolutely walking. I've walked before. I've walked up. He'll do it again and I'll be right there with him. I'll tell you what.

Here's some controversial. We don't like microplastics. If a PA hands us water in a plastic bottle, they can go straight to hell and they might get a chuck back at them because we don't want to die early from your microplastics. Yeah, I want to die early from stuff in Matt Valley Springwater. We want live, a live water from a reservoir in Burns, Oregon.

and if we don't get that on set, guess what? We fucking walk. That's exactly damn right, Eric. God damn right, man. I'll tell you what, if I die of microplysmic, that's bullshit. I'll learn that a cool way, like, taking my dirt bike over, like, 18 cars like Evil Kniebel. Because you know how well I read a dirt bike. Oh, so well.

And that's got to be a big dirt bike, but we believe in you, buddy. And that's absolutely going to happen. So, like, as long as you don't give us microplastics or unorganic bullshit food, and also we do want to say on the script and we want to improvise. Yeah. What is on that page when you hire 13 feet? And again, we're going to be so full of. What is on that page?

That's just a starting point. It's a suggestion as far as I'm concerned. No, and I'll tell you what I'll do is I'm going to get a suggestion from the crew. We come from improv. Hey, what's something you don't want to hear on an airplane? And then that's your script. And it's going to be all organically made in front of you. And I'm going to say this because I don't want to be jammed.

I know I come from improv, but I've ended up, I'm a very serious actor. I don't want anyone making eye contact with me on that set. If you look at Eric, prepare to have your face caved in, and I mean it. Don't look at me, don't make eye contact. I'm not the friendly guy from weird here to help on that set. I'm a pro that's avoiding microplastics. And I'll tell you what, if I hear anybody chewing gum or a lozange, I don't walk, I run.

I leave that fucking set. What you're going to see is exhaust coming out of. of a 1995 Mercedes. As I flee your fucking set, if someone disrespects me, a serious dramatic actor, chewing gum, putting in a lozenge, looking at me, or saying, oh, actually, your line in the script is,

excuse me, script supervisor, supervise this greatness of Steve and I. Okay? That's exactly right. That's all you got to do. If you say, I'm missing an is or a the. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. Don't do that. Did you tell Picasso to paint in the line?

lines? No, thank you. You didn't. Okay. Do you tell Jordan, oh, maybe don't pull up, no, okay? You tell Otani, don't pitch and hit at the same time? No, you don't. Okay. So Stephen I'll be there. He wasn't one dead or alive. I don't think. Oh, he was one a dead or alive. Both of them. Both of them. Both of them. You want us alive on your set. And these are just really basic guidelines, but we cannot wait to just kind of spread our love shining out with you on your set as a comedic duo and we want to thank you so much for hiring us. But that'll also be the last time we hear from you. I don't want notes.

I cannot wait to see here this episode go live because Eric, you and I will just sit back. I might fly out to LA and we'll just look at the offers coming. And we'll go into Brady's office. Oh my God. No, not enough money. I don't think that's like artistically going to be fulfilling for me. No thank you.

And then finally that magical script will come in where it'll be just you and I taking suggestions from the crew. Hey, PA. Oh, God. What some of you might find the trash? orange peel. That's what this seems about, baby, because we are artists. Oh, you're the writer? Sorry. I thought Mark Twain died. I swear it was in all the papers. Not interested. Not interested, pal. Bye-bye. Okay. Okay. Bye, Bukowski. We're getting a suggestion from

the crew, and that'll be the only time they're allowed to look at us. Go back to Cincinnati. Kid. Yank, cut off for Hollywood. I'm telling you right now. Not with these two freight trains. Bye-bye. All right, everybody. All jokes aside. We'll come in, we'll do whatever you want. We'll do it for an incredible episode today. Scale works. Oh, please, please. We'll come having had.

We'll bring your own food. You don't even have to feed us. Please, we know we're a parody of ourselves. And Steve won't even talk about food on set. If you don't want them to. If you want them to do, I won't even eat. I'll come. I'll bring my wife.

She'll groom your dog. We are here to help. And boy, Steve, do we have a great episode today. Buddy, I'm excited. Let's go. Let's chart it up listening. We got a mega hoax. We're about to start via this.

very podcast just as new now. Thanks for tuning in, friends. We love you. We're grateful for you. And we're here to help. Hello, caller. Can you hear us? Yes, I can hear you.

Oh, amazing. It is so good having the show. You're coming in crystal clear. We believe in crystals. We believe in Godes. We are Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein. And we're here to help you today in a very weird fashion. Caller, what is your name or fake name?

and where are you calling from or fake location? My name is Mary Claire, and I am calling from the Chicago suburbs. Mary Claire, isn't that like a place where you get your ears pierced in the ball? Oh, that would be Clares. Oh, Clares.

Okay, okay. Is Mary Claire like a brand of some sort, though, like an almost like an Avon lady type thing? Why does it name Mary Claire? There's a magazine Marie Claire. Oh, that's what I'm thinking of. subscribe to for years and Steve also got his septum pierced at Clare's at the Omaha Mall. That's exactly right.

I got to jazzercise because of Marie Clare's. I mean, I've been jazicizing for 19 years. Yeah, don't question this man's Mary Claire credibility. He's deeply in it. I'm doing the thigh master as we're as we speak right now. I can't tell you how many times Steve's call me. You want to go to Clare's and Hop Topic? And I'm like, yeah, I'm in.

All right, buddy. He just kind of looks around at your earrings, but he can never quite make the leap. I was thinking about getting a hoop earring. Just as like a bit. You could pull it off. And I love, I think that they're the heroes are the ones that do it in their 50s. The guys that wanted to do forever like Harrison Ford. Yeah.

Morgan Freeman, who's quasi canceled. But like Harrison Ford in his 50s like, I'm getting an earring. And he did it, Steve. And I know you want to have an earring. Right now, sorry, Mary Claire, this is an intervention. Steve, do you want to have an earring for real? I don't, but I kind of feel like I do as a bit, like just to like see what Gareth and Jake would do. Just to piss off Jake and Gareth.

Like not say anything, just show up with a hoop earring and just like, what? I don't know you guys talking about. I mean, I've had it for a long time. Will you for the bit do it? I'll pay for the... Normally I say Jake will pay. I'll pay. I'll pay for you to go to Clares.

Well, I had in my ear piercing high school. Or if we both show up with like a hoop earring, like we're pirates. Yeah, because we would look like pirates. We'd be totally these cool. We'd look like way. We'd look like over like big and tall versions of wham, Eric. Done. You say that like it's a bad thing.

Are you kidding? There's now weird government leaks that are Nordics might. be aliens, Steve. Let's just start leading into our alien earring, pirate persona. Okay, Mary Claire, sorry we took you for the ringer there. Friend, how can we help you today? We're here. Wait, did we get, did we get her pop culture? Oh yeah, no, no, that's right. We need, thank you, Steve. God, he's on it on a Friday. Bill trap. We need, as you may have expected, your Desert Island album, book, and movie slash premium television show. And you can give those in any order. We're open. We're loving it. Yeah, we're, we're, we're, we're loving it. Yeah, we're

no rules here, man. None. Let's see. Um, I feel like I'd want to laugh. So I'd say Blazing Saddles for my movie. Oh, great call. Oh, are you an old soul like us, friend? Yeah. Yeah, Mary. Oh, I love Blazing Saddle so much. I'm in. Yeah. And that king is still with us. He's still gone. You're one for one. You're one for one. Yeah. Oh, I know. I love, yes, amazing. He's a hundred. isn't he? I'm surprised you haven't met him. Yes. No, we're going to try. He's on the list. Trust me. Johnny Pemberton went to the Mel Brooks

documentary premiere and he's like, are you here? I'm surprised the Reaper isn't here. It's nothing but old people. Like, I was not invited. How dare the word has not got out to Hollywood. If there's a vital 99 or 100 year old senior, I should be there. It's only, I just have to keep working harder. Yeah, I only want to increase my fame in this world so I can meet more elderly people. That's true.

This is actually genuine. He means this. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Okay, so let's see. That was movie. Album, I'd have to say Led Zeppelin 4. Oh, great one.

I just saw Robert Plant live, by the way. Robert Plant has still got it. Go see him with this band. It was so good. It was so fun. Yeah. And he was just in Tulsa. I actually saw him at Rivinia with Alison Krause last summer.

Oh, yeah. Aren't they amazing? Yeah, they're really good. Yeah. They're so cool. Jimmy Page practiced Crowley and Magic can actually buy Alster Crowley's house on Lake Loch Ness. Anyway, some of that stuff,

there's a little rumor that some of that dabbling is why he and Plant don't. Do you know the money they have turned down to reunite? And the fact they still haven't done it. John Paul Jones is still here. You get Jason Bonham, but plan ain't having it. Apparently, it might be some of that Crowley stuff. Might have been some of, you know, Mr. Page's romantic choices. We don't know, Steve.

We won't speculate. because I don't want Jake Johnson to have to pay for an attorney. So you're two for two so far. Led Zeppelin-Force. You're doing very well. We've got Blazance Sattles. So please give us a movie slash TV show. Oh, no.

Blazing Saddles was my movie. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah. You're a book. I'm not here to. Yeah, your book. It's like really on the nose, but I would say Lord of the Flies. Oh, I love Lord of the Flies.

You know? Yeah. Why is it on, did I, did I reference, I reference below the flies a lot. Because it's Desert Island, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Desert Island and two guys that were both in the hunt to play piggy in the junior I version. Yeah. We're both piggy. Jake and Gareth are the guys going after piggy. That's exactly right. Everybody ended up here. That's exactly right.

We have no problem with our pig. Please, sir. Oh my gosh. I want the coach. I want the coach, sir. I have their coach. I would have to speak, sir. Crack. Yeah, that could happen any second from Jake and Gareth.

We just live in fear of that crack on the head. So you're absolutely three for three of three legendary things. And we can tell why you're one of our glorious listeners because we are in tune with you, Mary Claire. So let me get the ship going here. How can we help you today? What is going on? Sister. Yep.

So short version, I am calling to get your help in finding out if I have found. a fairy ring near my house. Oh, okay. This is big and luckily you are with one of the world's foremost fairy ring experts in Steve Byrd. One of them, I would say, no, I'm not sure to be cock here, but I would say the expert on. Would you put yourself above Tenney? I know I had to call you. No.

Donny L. Tenney and then I'm saying Steve Burke. I'm number two. I'm number two. When you talk fairy rings, Steve is always going to be in that top three. And this is not a bit. This is not a bit. So please, and this is a Faye loving show. Yeah.

Please tell us what is going on. And I'm so excited to hear what Steve thinks. Yeah. Basically, I go for a walk every day with my dog on the Illinois Prairie path, which is this like limestone, walking trail that goes from Chicago City proper. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Limestone. That's right. It's conductor of high strangeness.

Is it really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Look at this. Look at this. Oh, okay. So the trail, people walk on it, people bike on it, run on it.

And it goes all the way from Chicago out to the suburbs and kind of like spider webs out all over the place. And so the little arm that's by me runs right through my suburban neighborhood. So it's kind of bordered on either side by like a wooded area. and it has lots of wildlife. There's like beer and chipunks. Oh, that's fungus right there, dude. That is great fungus. That's like a perfect scientific.

That is, yeah, yeah. It's so rough. It's so quickly round. And. Same thing. I actually thought like it was so perfectly round that I thought a person had come along and made this. I know.

It almost looks like a like a cocaine czar. like dumped a bunch of yak in a circle. Right. Right. It's just like piles of drugs. Yeah, that's a lot of the street value of that would be like, yeah. That's like $1,200.

That's like $1,200. That's a lot of yak, baby. Yeah. And fungus on the ground. We don't want to bring them out to Steve because you might have PTSD over a tick incident. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine.

It's fine. You know what I actually should find some around mushrooms nearby. Oh my God. That's great. Good for you. Those are. Cover yourself well, please. Yeah, well, it was exciting.

Let Steve jump on that grenade for all of us. Don't right. No ticks here. Did you butter those babies up and eat him? I did. I saved them, yeah. Yeah, they're delicious. And we love a dry fry for mushrooms.

You put in the pan with no oil first. Let all that moisture and water come out. Then you add your oil, maybe a little bit of red wine, some fresh garlic. Yeah, you're in high cotton. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by booking.com. Booking.com helps you get it ridiculously. right so you can find exactly what you're booking for g man you're on the road constantly the hotel you're in did the show book it or did you book it using booking dot god you know what i've been doing

jake is i have to switch hotels so often that i started asking the clubs if they'll just give me a buyout and then i'll find a hotel that's in between the places i'll go to booking com, I'll find a place that is kind of equidistant, and I get a couple nights in the same hotel. They couldn't make it easier. Well, I've got a question for the audience here. June 19th, is that the date for the Gareth and Steve live show in Omaha? We've got people in the Midwest who are nearby who go, I want to take a little trip and see something. But where would I stay?

Well, go to booking.com. Perfect. makes it easy to find a hotel or a holiday home that's just that's not just generically right or right for somebody but ridiculously right for you well also Omaha a fantastic city surrounded by fantastic i don't know why you said thank you Steve but so you just live there uh but it there's you could get vacation rentals you can turn it into a few days i mean who know hey Steve if people come to Omaha for this little trip and they book on booking.com and they turn it into a three-day thing. What are a few things they should do

besides see you guys live? Well, obviously, we have the best zoo in the country, uh, in the world, I think, maybe. Find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com. Booking dot, yeah, book today on the site or in the app. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Wayfair. I bought a robot vacuum on that cleans itself. It's a self-cleaning. robot vacuum. And I love it. The thing goes around, vacuums the floor, then takes itself home to its little portal. I'm a fan of it. Wayfair's got everything you want. It's got outdoor seating, grills. It's got outdoor furniture. Over 20 million five stars reviews. I really can't recommend it enough. You go on there and you get overwhelmed. The problem with Wayfares, they don't sell bigger houses because you just want to

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Okay, so what's going on to the ferry ring? You got one. Okay, that's definitely a ferry ring. So I guess like I, okay, I wasn't sure if it was one or not, because I looked at pictures of them. And normally the fungus are kind of like your classic, like, capped mushrooms in a big circle. But it does look like fungus to me.

So I guess I'm wondering, like, Is there something I can do or something I can put there to, to, like, figure out if it is one, like, or is there anything I can read or watch to, like, learn more about fairy rings? Like, what do I do now? Like, how do I interact with this thing? Here's what I would say. I would go the fun route because, I mean, like, look, there's no surefire method to interact with the realm of the fay, obviously. One, we don't know if they're real. But two, if I'm you, I have some extra fun with this.

And I start a hoax. I start a local hoax. I'm not even, I'm not even joking. Yes. If you have Next Door app or something like that, this is how you have fun with it. And I'll get to my point here. I'll get to my point. Because I'm going to say there's no such thing as a hoax.

But you're going to start one. What? You are going next door app. Just hear me out. Check this out. I'm trying, brother. I'm trying. And you say that I have been hearing rumors of weird elemental beings popping out of this fairy ring that is in this specific location.

Then you wait and see if other people start reporting it. I guarantee you're going to get some responses to say, like, hey, you know, I saw like a little gnome walk out of that thing, actually, man. And you could create a little local stir and then study it from a sociocultural, like, like point of view and see what happens. You had this rare opportunity to create folklore. And this is wonderful. This is a wonderful way to bring the community together for a little bit of mystery and intrigue.

I think, because like, look, you're asking like, how do my community fairies? Sister, if I knew, I'd be doing it right now. I wouldn't be on, I wouldn't be on this call. I would be talking to a fairy and breaking bread. Are you serious? I know. I would do the car. You drop me in a hot.

a hot second for a fairy, wouldn't you? I mean, that sucks. That sucks. No, I appreciate your honesty, but I hurt to hear it. Well, no, look, I got to get a paycheck. So, no, I wouldn't, you know, I got to earn my stipend. So, of course, I'm going to do the call. Comedy slowly comes out, or Second City Education, all paying off. Here's, I'm going to counter my friend here, who, though he may not have a red nose

and smeared grease paint on, is right now acting like a clown. Because if you hoax on next door, you know, that's going to piss off the fairies. and I want to believe, I think Johnny Elteni, the great man we've had on here with believes. And I think the last thing you want to do is start fucking with their ferry circle, their fairy ring, and have next door stoners coming down and fucking with him. I think you need to leave those fairies a gift and an intention and try to get on their good side because what Steve is doing is going to promote an army of fairies coming after you, your friends, your family, your job. You don't want that.

Eric, listen, Jack. you just prove my point. By creating a hoax, you're going to disturb the fairies, aka causing them to communicate with you. Like I know like, I feel like if you really want to communicate with the fairs,

you create a hoax because according to the great ritual magician Timothy Allen Greenfield, there's no such thing as a hoax. If you create a story and narrative... What are you talking about? You've said it twice now. What is this? There's no such thing as a hoax. And I know we've all deep in the work of Timothy Allen

Greenfield. What does that mean? None of this sounds good in this era of an assault on the truth. There's no such thing as a hoax. Okay, okay, okay, okay. You're right. Like, in the grand scheme of things, hoaxing's not good. This is a small, localized, laboratory setting where we can study this from a folkloric, sociocultural point of view. And I think this is a wonderful opportunity to create folklore. And folklore is innocent. It's not the kind of hoax where it's like, you know, someone in a position of power is misleading millions of people to do something potentially dangerous. This is a small community setting in the suburbs of the lovely city of Chicago. I think starting a rumor of ferries emerging from a fairy circle is awesome.

And I also think it's your best chances of actually communicating with elementals. I'm not joking. Because I see the paranormal and high strangers as as, as, as manifesting from our mythology, our archetypes, and our stories. I believe it uses our narrative structure to appear. And so you are adding to that narrative structure by creating localized urban legend and folklore. And I think it would be really fun to monitor and study. When you put it that way, it's just so good.

It is. I believe it. It's pretty darn good. Also, incredible content for the show if you are currently like hoaxing on Nickerup. We will comment.

I will get a burner account. Champaign, Illinois. One of the great big. We will say, I'll say that I was walking in three fairies grab my ankle and help me down and maybe listen to some steely-dain deep cuts.

I'm here to help. Okay? I don't necessarily agree with this approach, but Steve's my brother and my partner, so I'm in. If we're going to hoax, let's make this a great. hoax. Let's think we can't get some buzz. And our goal has to be getting picked up by at least a local

town media outlet. And it isn't really a hoax. There's already the fairy ring. It's just we're adding, it's like the telephone game. We're adding a little story. Maybe we're telling the truth if there are no hoaxes. Maybe the ferry ring is real and we're just going to get out there. We're going to get, look, I think we could use some help from some helpful fairies these days. And maybe that's what this will start. Starting in Illinois, then the world. I mean, you could even put up some like little old school analog signs like from the 90s have you seen this entity and it's like a little it's like a little gnome you say seen crawling out a fairy circle and people would be like what the hell's going on you could cause a little local stir i wouldn't be

surprised if seven days after you start doing this local news picks it up that's what we want i love this so much i'm a graphic designer too so i could make oh oh my god will you please make one of the fairies look like Steve Berg. Just subtly? Yes. Yes. Maybe it's called like, like, like,

like, yeah, maybe it's called like Burgolicious or something like that. It's like a Nordic fairy, you know? Yeah,

a Nordic fairy with an incredible giant hat. I've been called a Nordic fairy before. Hey, junior high wasn't easy

for any of us, buddy. That's how we ended up in comedy. Come on, buddy. Me too. I was a theater kid.

It wasn't easy. Try to be overweight with a Lyft. On my ring app, everybody, everybody in my neighborhood likes to post on the ring app.

So, and like Nextdoor, I don't really use Nextdoor a whole app, but the Ring app has like a social component to it too. And everyone is always posting like when they saw a coyote. Like there's constant chatter about like people seeing weird stuff on there. Yes. So I think I'll post on there. I'm telling you I swear to God, this is you have an existing like a laboratory of weirdness.

all you're doing is sprinkling on a little folklore on top of it. And, you know, as a person who is like a folklorist first, I am so deeply interested in studying everything that happens with this. So I would love it if you wouldn't mind, like, personally connecting me to this. I will comment. I will add to, like, it's crazy you say that. It's crazy you say that because my wife was taking her daily jog, and she said she saw this ring.

And the next day she said she was jogging early in the morning. it was right between dusk and dawn, and she saw a little entity that looked like a gnome crawled at this thing and she goes, I must be dreaming. Maybe the edible I ate last night is just carrying over, or did I see a gnome? Oh, that's so weird.

It could be this cascade of folklore, weird, localized telephone game. And we, this could go viral. I'm not even joking. Like, this could be, you might be a million. Yeah. All I'm saying is if you make a bunch of money of this, Eric and I get a 10% cut.

which I think is beyond fair. Okay, okay. Mary, can we agree on that? We're doing a handshake right now. Eight percent. Nine, I can't go lower in nine. I cannot go lower nine. I'll take eight.

I can do nine. That's fine. Okay, nine deal. Yeah, we're settling on nine. That's pretty good, Steve. So, look, let's talk about the approach. Yeah, let's send the contract over to the gold family of talent works. From the center.

That's exactly right. Attention, Brandy Gold. Yeah. Please. Please. She's the best agent in Hollywood. She is 13 feet's midwife into the world. She is.

Yeah. Yeah. We love her so much. Maybe the best person in the world. Might be, buddy. Might be. She is. God bless her.

I will say this. Let's just quickly go through the order of reparation. I think we're going to hit up this. Yeah, the blind leading the blinded. Step three. Take one. Take one. So I think you need to like create a clear little narrative.

in your head of how you want to do this. And I don't want to give you my ideas because I've read too much fairy lore, and I don't want to infect you with like a fairy history. So I need you to come up with this. Think about it. Like, you know, put some thought to it. What if I want to be infected with fairy history? Yeah, me too.

That's why we're here, right? Then read the secret commonwealth. It's by Yates. Give us the good. Come on. Yeah, Steve. You should, you should buy the secret commonwealth. It's the greatest book about the history of Celtic Fairwell. Faith, which I love.

I read it cover to cover. Beautiful book. Amazing stories. All true. Mary, you have homework, Mary Claire. I'm not quick. I think the first thing you do, you have like a glass of wine and maybe some, I don't know, like, you know, some of that crispy rice with a little bit of raw salmon on top.

How do we get to food? Well, because you have to pet. And I like to let you go for it, but like this just took a turn to crispy rice out of nowhere, brother. How good does that sound right now, though? It does sound so good with like that fresh pickle was up. All right, I take, I'm sorry. I'm like trying to be skeptical, but it's not really me.

That sounds so good, buddy. You know, I'm fucking right. It sounds incredible. No, I'm definitely getting that. Now I went crispy rice. You're right. I'm sorry. I was being,

I felt an evil ferry influence come over me from Illinois trying to stop this and derail you and I'm sorry. Yeah, well, it's that it's Jake Chicago energy seeping through you. Oh my God, you're right. Yeah. We know an angry Chicago gnome if that helps. So here's what I would do. I would think of your narrative, make it clean, so there's no inconsistencies when you start posting.

Okay. And then I would do the initial post. I know this is going to sound crazy. And I don't really believe in this stuff. However, this is what happened. And then you're going to create the story. It needs to come from you. I don't want to create the story for you because I'm too tainted by fairy lore.

But I think you create the narrative over some nice crisp rosé and that crispy rice I was talking about. because I do think what you're pairing it when you, it will bring about the creative juices. Then you get to your post, but I do think when you post, you do that kind of disclaimer, they're like, I'm not into the paranormal any of that ghost stuff. Like you make it sound like you don't know about this stuff or like it. So play a little dumb.

Hish Tosh, no, not me. But yeah, that's exactly right. I had heard about this fairy ring and someone's seeing glowing light around it. Well, turns out I was taking my morning jog. then you whatever your your narrative is you place it in there do it on the ring app and then monitor that thing like hell then you are going to get eric and i attached to this ring app conversation boom i am going to add on it in a very subtle way that seems very believable like hey i heard your story it makes me feel like i'm somewhat saying because i thought i was losing

my mind because i was walking my dog wrecks the other day last tuesday And I saw whatever I saw. You know, so I think, like, I really think this is the rare, I mean, like, I'm so jealous because what I dream about is studying folklore in real time. And you are at this opportunity to create it. There is already the fairy ring. So you did a whole cloth make this up, willy-nilly out of nowhere, which I think is disingenuous. However, adding to the folklore, that is a long tradition that's been going on for thousands of years.

It's innate to humans to add their narratives. Oral tradition. To urban legends. Exactly. So all you're doing is you are carrying on a tradition that's been going on since man or woman have been drawing on walls. Why do I feel like today is the beginning of a cult with Steve as the leader starting out of suburban Chicago and a fairy ring? Well, look, it's my point to be. I just pray this doesn't end like Jonestown or Waco, but I'm a thousand percent in.

once you post on next door on the citizen app on the ring let us know because we're going to start sprinkling this in too because i didn't realize my friend steve apparently believes there's no such thing as a hoax and yet he wants to be a hoaxer so mary claire thank you for bringing this about today so this is only the beginning we're with you on this we're going to help this hoax happen done yeah yeah yeah mary i'm please keep us involved because i this is and i mean this generally This is like what I dream about is to be able to study folklore unfolding in real time. I have been trying to find this opportunity. This is actually my chance. So I'm deeply invested. And along the way, if you need to help creating the narrative, I will taint it with my fairy lore knowledge. But this is one of the most exciting days I've had maybe maybe all year. You've given my friend life.

And for that, I want to thank you. And if this goes badly, I will give you my friends, cellular telephone number and home address and he will be accountable for all this madness. Because I'm like getting pulled into the raft along with him against all my better instincts. But I love the man. I'm in. I'm not going to be wrong.

So much fun. No, we need a good hoax. It'll be a wild thing's a good hoax. You can just make us some crispy rice. Hell yeah. You know what? Maybe I'll leave them a gift of crispy rice. Those fairies. Well, I believe the fairies will have their opinion. They will be heard.

Maybe that's what we should just. I'll give the fairies. Steve Berg's address. Well, this is actually a great idea. So traditionally, you know, with fairies, you do gift to fairies. And oftentimes the most like the basic meal that they love historically is bread and milk is the safest thing to give them. Is that true? If you get them something that they don't like, then bad things can happen. Bread and milk, you should leave a glass of bread and milk there as part of this narrative we're creating.

So you're saying I also found some bread milk and I looked at the symbology of that. And it's a fairy gifting thing. fairies. Are these real? Anyways, concern, call, I hope that someone has some answers. Yeah, just to get them on your side and cover your bases, leave them bread and milk today. I even have this tiny, tiny little bowl. Oh, God. It's like, I mean, it's size, it's like the size of a quarter.

I have like a tiny bowl I could use. And then I even have a tiny little wooden cup. That's right. Yeah, anyway. Okay. Yes, this is good. And Mary, and this is just one more thing before I let you go, in case you start getting some, like, unwanted fairy visits, all you got to do is carry a hunk of iron in your pocket you'll be a okay okay great and that's just

good science ladies and gentlemen the unreliable narrator has spoken he's creating a hoax in chicago illinois of a fairy ring and he says a hunk of iron will solve all legal or fairy anger problems ladies and gentlemen another shocking episode of we're here to help steva what does it remind you of It reminds me of that great video that came out like 10 years about the neighborhood who was like who is having who's being assaulted by the leprechaun. Have you ever seen that video? No. Oh my God. It's like a local news station.

It's all these people saying like, man, we saw these lepercons and stuff like that. It's amazing. This, it reminds me of this. And there's the drawing. Yes. Yes. And this is exactly what you're doing. So you're basically just honoring that, honoring that story.

I'm telling you, I think we had. think we had something huge on our hands. I'm so excited, Mary. You know, maybe maybe weird here to help can go live from the scene of the ring one day. I will go to that fairy ring. And in case any legal stuff goes down, Jake Johnson can hire us an attorney. Yeah, that's exactly right. Jake and Dan, the Johnson brothers will get us out of this one.

Yeah, we're fine. We're above the law in Chicago. Done. Maybe, hold on, maybe we could send the van. Can we send that we're here to help van to the ferry ring without disturbing it? I don't hate that. Okay, we're all going to be in touch. This is all happening today.

Something big just started, and we want to thank you for being the one that did at Mary Claire. Yep. Well done, Mary. You really made my week. This is a beautiful... He needed this. What else would I have done?

What would I have done? Nothing. What did I have done without you? Potentially got much better advice, but here you sit. You broke and you bought it. And to be continued. Thank you, friend. Thank you, Mary.

Great call. Thank you guys. This episode of the pod is brought to you by Quince. If you're wondering who makes the shirt I'm wearing right now, if you're going, whoa, Jakey J's arms and shoulders and chest look slimmish, but his arms look bigish and his shoulders look thickish. Oh, it's because of Quince. Summer now.

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For a free trial, when you're ready to launch, use offer code Gil sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Ladies and gentlemen, we are back on Weird here to help with the King of Omaha, Stephen Berg. I'm Eric. Caller, welcome. What is your name or fake name, which is accepted here, and where are you calling from today? Hi, friends. My name is Jessica.

Oh, and I'm calling from the Kansas City area. Oh, Stevie Berg carries a lot of water. in Kansas City. I went to KU too so we can talk Lawrence. Rock truck J-Haw, KU. Are you kidding me, Jessica? No, I'm not kidding. Hell yeah.

Eric, just give me 30 seconds. Done. Take over, Steve. Take over. Jessica, where did you live when you went to school there? All over. I lived on the west part of town

and then I lived on New Hampshire Street for a while. I owned a house on Alabama. Oh, damn. I love Alabama. I stayed in a flop house in Alabama. It was not up to code, but boy, we had fun. It might have been the house I bought, so.

Sorry about that. I made a lot of drunken holes in the wall. I used to like try to, I used to enjoy trying to run through drywall in college. That explains a lot. Yeah, yeah, it does. It really does. Some wall running. I have a lot of, well, God, I mean, already, Jessica, I couldn't be any more enthous to have you on.

One, I'm, you know, I love, I love the Numer. through Kansas with all my heart. And I love Kansas City. I'm a huge Royals fan. I love the blues scene there. Best barbecue in the U.S. as far as I'm concerned. So Jessica, how can my brother, Eric, and I help you today? Hold on, Steve.

We need her number one Kansas City barbecue restaurant. Oh, yeah. And I want to hear yours too, Steve. Yeah, okay. I'll tell you. Then we want to hear your album, TV show slash movie and book. But I want you each to give me your number one place for Kansas City

barbecue to start, please. Okay, well, first off, if I answer this, everybody's going to turn off the podcast because I'm a vegetarian. That's okay. So am I. It's all great. I eat a little bit of fish.

But I Google this. There's vegan barbecue now in Kansas City. Yes. So, yeah, you can get like the, so you can get the Portobello sandwich at Casey Joes, which is great. the Z-Man with a portobello sandwich.

They made it. Eric, Eric, you need to get a lot of Kansas to you. So the Z-Man is the best sandwich in America, by the way. Like, it really is. It started out as a barbecue place in a gas station, Oklahoma Joe's. And yeah, I mean, it's just, you know, it's a, it's, they're winning all kinds of wars now. But oh my God, that's, that's great news. So what, I'm sorry, didn't I mean to interrupt you.

I just got excited. And Char Bar has very famous barbecue. jackfruit. The jackfruit, yeah, absolutely. Oh, yeah, no, I looked into this. It's great with barbecue. Jackfruit is great with bar. I ate jackfruit ribs one time. No. Well, Jackfruit just soaks up the flavor. And if you

smoke it and brine it, you can turn it into barbecue. People don't realize this. Sometimes the true taste of barbecue is how well you barbecue vegetables. I don't know about that. But yeah, I mean, I'm barbecue. I want that Joe's Portobello Z man. I want it bad.

Come to town. I'll take you. It's famous. Okay. Done. Done, Jessica. It's on. You would love Casey. You would love it.

Okay. So what about a book and album? Okay. Favorite book? The Kill a Mockingbird. Great call. Great call. It's so hard to pick with music.

How about Rise and Fall of the Midwest Princess by Chapel Rhone? She's local. We love Chapel Rone here. She's from Kansas City? She's from like Columbia, Missouri. Okay. So like a small town outside of Kansas City. But we claim her.

Well, you know, she's our girl. You and I are not technically allowed to like Columbia, Missouri, since it's the home of the University of Missouri, who is our mortal enemies. She's from a small town, not in Colombia, but out that direction. I'll probably be glad she's from a college town, because that's probably how she turned into Chapel Rhone. Let's be honest. Let's thank that college town. A lot of culture, a lot of art. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right.

You're right. Okay, what about movie or premium television show? 30 Rock. Oh, great call. Incredible. My favorite sitcom of all time. easily with not even close anything else. Endlessly rewatchable.

Like I don't need anything else. Just give me Tina Faye and I'm set. My wife and I like we will what happens is like we'll just like throw an episode on while we're eating dinner and then we'll just end up watching for four hours. And we'll be like we got to start this new show. But then we just keep on rewatching 30 Rock. I will. I also have to real quick say with Chaparone. So y'all know Jessica I know knows this.

She's like does not like people coming up to her. does not like people bothering her. She's earned that right and I respect it. But it's so funny. We saw her, my wife and I saw her recently at Kitchen Mouse, which is this delicious kind of vegetarian breakfast place. Highland Park,

great place, great place. I've never seen anyone in L.A. where people were aggressively trying not to make eye contact or come up. And I thought it was cool because she's got it out there now, don't come up to her. Yeah. And normally what will have? happen. I've noticed in LA is people are actually not that cool here. They act like they're cool

because it's the industry, but they'll find a reason like, oh, I'm sorry, Chappell. I'm actually friends with Mindy that did your makeup on some video five years ago or hi, chap, I actually know this. I know Craig that did your PR on that album nine years ago. Nobody did that to her. She stood up. Everybody averted their eyes like it was the sun and they just let her go. Then we went over to Sunbeam vintage and she was there and she like made it. eye contact with me and I looked away like it was the sun of like I don't know I'm not bothering you I'm not bothering you at all I enjoy pink pony club it's all you and it was really amazing to see everybody aggressively avoid bothering her eye contact with her because she set a boundary and I think we'll have

to respect it I bet she was checking you out I bet there were vibes I don't I don't want to say that it was awkward then the normal stranger Eric yeah I know I do I'm america stranger you're right but but I thought it was very interesting to see how chapel has bought herself autonomy now by saying leave me alone. I thought it was very cool. Yeah. So Jessica, how can we help you today? Okay. There's a reason I came to you guys. If there's somebody who could help me with this problem, it's Lil Stevie Berg and Eric Edelstein. Oh yes. We're going to make the hell yeah. Oh, I love it. Okay. So I was just recently elected to city council and my little town in the Kansas City metro area.

How cool. What? So this was like a, I don't want to say a lifelong dream, but I've always been interested in giving back, being a part of the community. Bless you. I'm obviously like, I'm pretty upbeat. I love connecting with people.

And so this win has been fantastic. I've been riding this high for like a month now. Wonderful. But along the way, during my political assent, I have made an arch nemesis. Oh. She, she, she is the antithesis to everything I represent.

She just, as soon as she walks in the room, she sucks the air out. And everybody just, you can feel it. You can feel the energy gets sucked out. She's an energy vampire. I have no doubt. And she's 90 years old and as tiny as can be. So she's like this. An old fascist sounds like.

Yes. And she's also very involved. So we, the way I met her was in line for a pancake feed. And she did nothing but complain the entire time. About the pancakes? About everything. Like, we're here for pancakes. And she was complaining about kids being too loud as they were laughing.

Oh, my God. And a pancake feed? A pancake feed. And at one point, she was judging a kid's, like, talent show. And the entire time, she was scowling, didn't crack a smile once. And there's little kids dressed up, dancing, smiling, being silly, like two-year-olds. And she's not smiling at them. and just has her arms crossed

and like this woman seeks me out she's like a heat seeking missile she finds me she finds my joy and will just she will roast me to my face and so my question to you guys is how do I turn this ship how do I get her to either like me

or do I lean into it and just continue to fight with her she's not within my part of the city so I don't need her vote so what is her no she is another city council person in another sector, right? No, she's not on city council. She's just a citizen,

but she has made it her goal to make my life miserable. Well, I think, you know what? I do think, oftentimes I have had great success in the past. When someone's being a negative Nathan or a grumpy Gus, I will,

I learned this from my mom, and I last, I'm like, oh, are you having a bad day? Like, forcing them to acknowledge their behavior. Now, she's a 90-year-old woman, so maybe that self-awareness won't be as easy to access. But I always think when someone's being,

and we all come across these people, right? These kind of like just negative people who suck the energy out of a party, out of a restaurant. You can feel it. I don't know what the science is behind it, but it is real. But I have always had great success with just holding a mirror.

Not actually like, because I always feel like when people like that are being negative to you in criticizing you, being a throwing your side, they are trying to elicit a reaction, an emotional reaction out of you. And I feel like once you give that to them, they won and you lost. And that's been my strategy, has been to not give her what she wants. So I, she'll roast me in my face. She will say that, oh, the new people on city council, which is me, don't know anything

about this town, honey. I've lived here for 90 years. I know everything. You don't know anything. And I just kind of smile and just say, oh, okay. You know, well, so here's for example, for an answer like that, I'd be like, well, that's really great, Lisa, whatever her name is. And I would say, like, I would sure appreciate if you would maybe help the younger generation like me understand Kansas City better from your point of view. What about Kansas City?

Am I not understanding that you have knowledge about that it can make me a better city council person? I have put, I've extended that olive branch and she has said, well, I've reached out to this other person and this person. and they're worthy of these documents that I just don't share with anybody. So I genuinely feel like it's me in particular that she's like wanting to bring down. Right. Well, she's jealous of you. She feels your sparkle, your energy. It's shining through this call right now.

I don't think this will be your last elected office, friend. I think you're going to keep moving on up until you are running the state of Missouri completely. And Steve and I can get traffic tickets and you'll have them waived. That's exactly right. normally we are a huge kill-em-with-kindness podcast but you know what I just woke up woke up on the other side of the bed today and I know you've been trying to kill her with kindness

I think the only way to actually get through with her is to fight fire with fire and the next time she says I'm sorry and this is very opposite of my usual advice I know but I already know and I can tell like in another world I'd be a politician and there's that thing of wanting to win that person over and when I go in a room and I can tell somebody

somebody's sullen or surly or doesn't like me, I just had that thing where I have to win them over. But sometimes you just can't. And I think this person is deep down once, wants you to try to kill her with kindness so she can shoot you down again. So here's that I do. The next time she's like, I'm 90.

And I would look at her and say, you're 90? You don't look a day over 89. And like you just have to sometimes get down on her level. Or the next time she's she's playing with kids, you know, she's complaining about kids in a pancake feed. Be like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. You know who also didn't like kids? Hitler. Yeah.

You know who really did not like boisterous happy children? Stalin? And he actually killed more than Hitler. So that makes sense. But then again, I know you know this because you were around during their era. Yeah. And I would say waiter out, but somebody with that kind of hate, she's probably going to live to be 103. And I think you've done everything you can. And also, I'm, I will admit, you saying you don't need her vote allows us to do this. Where I also think it's good for you to have one person you don't have to try to win over. And to get in the muck with her because you're going to have to do that in politics. You're a bright, shining star.

If Steve and I could buy a lottery ticket and you and your political future, we would. And we desperately need people like you in office. And we all know change starts at a local level and to get frustrated about national politics, which we all do, go local. I think this is a great invitation for you to find that other side of yourself, that rough and tumble Missouri, Harry Truman style. This is a guy that became president that started local Missouri politics and invited Judy in when he set off the first nuclear bomb. But that's not for here nor there. That's true. But I think you got to fight.

fire with fire. And I think it's time for you to get into that. We all have that catty, nasty side of ourselves and you do it under your breath so no one else can hear. But I think that's the only way her behavior will change because we tried kindness. It didn't work. You have to now get down in the muck with her and it will be so much fun for you, Jessica. Also, I want to ask, so is she ever like disrupting, like maybe you're giving a talk at one of these like pancake feeds? Is she ever disruptful? Or is she coming up to you in a one-on-one scenario? She will come up to me publicly.

Not if I'm like giving a speech, she's not interrupting me. But I'll hold like outreach events and she will come and in front of my constituents and my other counselors. She will call me out for things. Like she'll say, oh, you just have so much time on your hands. And she loves to ask me really personal questions that she shouldn't ask. Like, so why did you get divorced? And are you dating?

and did you buy that house that needs a whole lot of work? Oh. So again, I feel like it's such a personal attack. But Eric, I think you're right on the money. I think she might fall in love with me if I just start like going tit for tat with her. Yeah, because as somebody that spends too much time and concern trying to win people over, I get it. And I understand everything you're describing out that person, she's not going to be won over by kindness. But if she says, now, why did you get divorced?

You just kind of lean in and say, you know, I was putting a tiny amount of arsenic in my husband's every meal. And somehow he started to figure it out and he ran for the hills. That's just kind of how I deal with people I have an issue with. Or she's like, you have the house to fix her up her? Like, yeah, actually I did, but it came free. Nobody knows this. But I've actually curried some favor with some underworld Kansas City folks.

I'm sure you know about that from. the 40s since you were, well, old back then. And then every single thing she says, you just lean in. And if she tries to report it or tell anyone, like, no, she's old and crazy. I'm the friendliest person alive. I'm an elect official. I would never, ever, ever say that to her. Or she's dating you.

The next time she's like, are you dating? I know you're a little bit older, but what do you know about polyamory? Oh, I love this. It's so different from my regular personality. I think I can have fun with that. No, because, you know, it's a spice of life. And you kind of need this. Yeah, and Eric's right.

I think the, you know, the time to try to like win her over and like, yeah, look, I mean, this woman is not going to relent. It sounds like she's got, she likes to find somebody in nitpick and nitpick and nitpick, and somehow you are in her crosshairs. And so I think you need to put her in your crosshairs and just give as good as, you know, give as good as a get. How does that you say that? That's perfect, Steve.

That's, give as good as you get. Yeah, but I think that's it. And like, it's when, and you'll enjoy this. Yeah. Like, it's, it's got to be kind of exhausting to always be on and always be friendly. And when you see her now, you know, there's one person you're going to lean in and get on her level. But hilariously, I will bet cash money. This is how you win her over.

Because it's the only language she knows and understands. she's threatened by your shine, threatened by your charisma and your ability. And when you get in there and show her like, oh, I got a little bit of an edge too, sweetie. There's a steak knife here,

okay? Yeah. And I can cut through that Kansas City barbecue, okay? Right. Right. And you're actually, instead of dreading her,

you're going to be like, ooh, here is a chance for me to really get weird. It's going to be a whole bunch of fun for you. Yeah, you're going to have a blast of this, actually. You know what?

And like, and you can do it in such a calm way. Like, I think never get like, like emotionally aggressive. Be very calm and very grounded because that will be so much more effective. If you're saying like these sick burns back that Eric's laid out in a calm, like politician-esque demeanor, look out. You have just turned her into a pile of ashes.

Oh, I cannot wait or like say. Say we're actually going to be rededicating one of the Civil War battlefields nearby. as someone who was alive back then, would you feel comfortable coming by and speaking? Love it. Yes. Yeah. And then, you know, like with her, most of our listener are going to hear you do Harry Truman jokes. Like, now I know you are Harry's peer and contemporary.

What do you think Harry would have done on a local Missouri level? And like just shit like that and you're just, it's the only way to win. And I know this is the opposite of most advice I give on here, but I know this kind of person and I also. know that kind of person's response to somebody with with some sparkle or sporical as brittney would say on vanderpump steve you know this but like don't let her dull your sparkle and like you're gonna slowly win her over by tapping into this really fun dark side and i'm excited to hear what happens next i have nothing better than that that's so good yep i think eric you are right on

the money this is what we're going to do let's see if i can win her up win her over yeah you You're going to win her over, but more than that, you're going to win yourself over by allowing yourself to let this side of you shine and figure it out. And I think you'll be liberated by it. And I think it's going to be a whole bunch of fun. And at the end of the day, she's a dreadful person. If we don't win her over, we don't win her over. But you're going to learn a really fun way to deal with people like this for the rest of your political career, which we are now thrilled to be in the ground level with you at. And that's true, Eric, because I mean, like, I think you're going to have a long career in politics.

And this is something, unfortunately, that goes along with it. Dealing with these negative people who actually have no rationale for the stuff they're saying to you, other than just to be like a thorn in your side, they're going to keep popping up, unfortunately, because there are people out there like this. So to start now and kind of like garner and hone these skills, I think is going to do you a huge service going forward. You guys are right.

I can't wait to thicken my skin a little bit. Yeah. Thicken your skin and also as you keep moving up, all Steve and I ask, we would just like the key to the city of Kansas City and to throw out the first pitch at Coffman Memorial Stadium. One of the true great baseball stadiums on the planet. I have a surprisingly good arm.

Steve is an incredible athlete. So as you move up in your career, remember us, don't forget us, and then we want to throw out the first pitch of Kaufman. Does that sound fair? I never forget you. Have you heard of the news, though? They're building a new Royal Stadium.

I know. Look, I love Kaufman, but I think it's going to be, it's good, it's going to be good for the Royals organization. I think, I mean, like, look, I love old ball fields and I have a lot of great memories of Kaufman, but I do think going forward long term, this is going to be better for us. It's going to be on the streetcar line. It's going to be, I think it's going to be good for everybody. It's going to be so much easy because it's a little inconvenient of a place to get to, you know I'm saying, especially when you have a couple barley, barley pops.

It's not an easy drive. But I do, I do think that's going to help, it's going to be good for the team. But also, Kansas City, what a lovely city. they're so lucky to have you. I would also say, just on top of Eric's request, see if you can get me inducted in some kind of University of Kansas Hall of fame, even though I don't deserve it.

Yes. There's a lot of things. You got Paul, right. You got Jason today because you got Don Johnson, you got Rob Wrigal. But let's not forget the old character actor, Steve Berg, who maybe is more passionate about that school than anyone. So talk to the alumni.

See if he can get me in there. I'd really appreciate it. Steve, come to town. We'll get a plaque made, and we'll just leave it somewhere. We'll put it on a tree. Yes. Jessica, I'm almost in tears right now. Finally.

Thank you. Thank you. One of my buddies is a professor at KU. I'm sure he can help us make something happen. Let's make it happen. By the way, what year did you graduate?

2010. Okay, I'm like 10 years older than you. Yikes. I was 2000. He was there in fogg out. Okay, easy. Eric. Now I'm going to become a grumpy old man.

Hey, I see your house is being done. Huh? Why did you get divorced, Eric? Look at Eric. I've been turd. See, look at that. We took a turn today, friends. You can't just pigeonhole us.

We're not always killing with kindness. Sometimes you kill them with evil. All right, Jessica, you're stuck with us now. We can't wait to hear what happens next. Yeah. Thanks, boys. Have a great day. Take care.

Bye, friend. Bye-bye, Rockchalk. Rockchalk, Jayock. Go KU. Weird here to help. It's hosted by Eric Edelstein and Steve Berg. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at

Weird Here to Help at gmail.com. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode.

We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man.

Listen to That Was Us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday.