Who Knows? Who Cares. - Butt Hair.

Episode Date: January 24, 2024

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How much hair is too much? You're dark haired. You gotta, you gotta be on it. You gotta be on it. Unfortunately for you, it's just not, life's not fair.

You gotta shave that or wax it, whatever you guys do. You gotta do something. You're blonde and you got some, okay. Maybe acid on it

or something. So like four or five at most hairs. Yeah. No, that's even worse. Like if it's clean and then you have like fucking.

You can count them. There's just like missed spots. What is it, two maybe then One hair that I can just get rid of Or a couple Just pull it Yeah

Tie me with like a spank and just That's how you don't shit your pants But you shit into your pants Okay that's fair Don't lie Yeah Wait a second you're a bitch. I'm like, oh, are you wet right now?

I didn't... You know what I've said? Here we go. Are you fully bricked up after kissing? No, you're not. Go to a fucking Starbucks. Dude, I was sweating. I was so bad.

He's not a man bad and we're back hey so real quick guys so we're pretty backed up on you have to introduce yourself they probably don't even know who you are anymore camera boy camera boy is here this week we're pretty we're pretty backed up on our submissions for the patreon so keep sending them in we're gonna get them out as we can uh yeah whatever you guys want we'll do it for you guys i'll say whatever you guys want we'll do a lot of stuff we're not doing whatever you want some of you guys are sick i love it though we're yeah we'll give you like pg-13 yeah we'll do some again not like 17, but not. Not R.

Not R is maybe a little bit, but not much. You got to work us up. Like build us up to that. We'll get there probably. $5 a month for extra foot content. For the goodies. And then only a dollar a month if you just want the extra content. Again, it's about 20, 30 minutes of just extra pod.

But then you get unlocked to the foot stuff and then whatever. Yeah. But let's do a weekend recap. Whatever. Weekly recap. You're excited. He wants to talk, but obviously he has something to talk about. I don't know.

It's been a week. Yeah. An actual week. I don't think we did anything this last week. I've done absolutely nothing, I don't think. Yeah, I think Friday, Saturday I stayed in. I bet football last week didn't win anything. Typical.

Sounds normal. Yeah. Just going to the gym, you know, enjoying my life. Played some good basketball on Tuesday. We played drunk basketball on Tuesday. Yeah, it was good basketball. It was fun basketball. I had so much energy while I was running, but as soon as I stopped, it's like I was dying.

Okay, you go ahead. I don't think we, we don't have fun lives. You guys are done? We don't have anything to talk about yeah i'm a billionaire now really like billionaire mindset yeah okay yeah that's just whatever um i saw a bentley crash into a 12 car yes family at fault nope oh my god that's so tough so i'm in my office so you saw a 12 car crash into a bent i'm no i didn't see it but i'm in my office and i hear and i'm like oh fuck that shit's so

loud yeah you've never heard one like in person it's so loud and so it was weird so like you know right you know that entrance like you get out go out the office doors you look just straight out yeah there's that little entrance yeah that's exactly where it happened okay and for whatever reason they were talking at normal volume and it would just echo right into the like down the alley into our office we could hear every word so the crash you heard everything you heard but basically what happened was this like middle eastern slash maybe eastern european slash you couldn't put down the accent. He was driving.

A Bentley. The Bentley. Obviously. Obviously. Puffer jacket. Tight ass pants. Oil industry maybe. You know he smells of some sort of.

$3,000 Dior jacket maybe. Yeah. Some sort of cologne. Of course. You could smell it. You just knew. You could smell it from fucking 100 yards away. Yeah.

You just knew. If I walked over there, I'd know what it would smell like. Okay. So he's just like, this is a fucking $ yards away. Yeah, you just knew. If I walked over there, I'd know what it would smell like. Okay. So, he's just like, this is a fucking $300,000 car. And the guy who crashed into him was literally driving a $12 duct tape car. The guy who crashed into him was-

I avoid those cars. Dude, I see those cars on the road that are like bumpers falling off, like fucking dents everywhere. I'm like, please don't drive next to me. They don't care. The guy he crashed into was wearing his work boots, jeans, high-vis. Just probably having a terrible day already.

55, 60-year-old Hispanic guy. Just got off a 16-hour shift. Who does not have insurance. Of course. Does not have an ID. Social Security. Doesn't have anything. Yeah. He's like he's like

give me your fucking insurance give me your insurance come on give me it and the guy's like looking through every fucking thing in there it's like just flipping through receipts does the guy i'm borrowing car have insurance because it wasn't his car either you know i mean one of those things he's just looking looking and he's like uh wait hold on is it in he's like so then the guy calls the cars i'm calling the cops calls the cops cops say fuck you we're not going to that little fender bender and then eventually it leads to the guy in the fucking armani coat kicking in the other guy's car no way kicking in the doors boom boom just fucking he said that car on fire dude it's not even my car man that's the crazy part he literally could have set that car on fire and still not be even dude it's not even my car man that's the crazy part

he literally could have set the car on fire and it wouldn't have even been a dent into that Bentley shit and then he just gets in his car fucking whips out because he's gone

but I was like man like that's what you get for driving a house around you know someone technically someone just drove through one of his whole rooms

at his house you would hope if you drive a car that expensive that you have the money to fix it no problem someone, technically someone just drove through one of his whole rooms at his house. You would hope if you drive a car that expensive that you have the money to fix it. No problem. Yeah, you'd be like a little bit more compassionate. No. Obviously. People that make that much money are not compassionate at all. Yeah.

At all. Nope. That's why I need that kind of money to kind of change. No. Change the face. The face of who has the wealth. I've never seen a car crash in person. I just see all

these fucking reels i'm getting sent by you guys dude it's so terrible those aren't car crashes people dying yeah literally yeah i sent i sent you guys like you were logan that sent me the one of or maybe i just saw it but it was like this car trying to pass and then they realized holy shit i'm not gonna fucking make it and then somehow they like hit their brakes but their car just turns in half and then a semi just hits them fucking like this and all three bodies fly out of the car as all three i saw that too i'm like i don't want to see this dude you guys that one i love this to me yeah well i have to watch it like multiple times and make sure like see okay so one two three yeah three people but it's like the caption is right yeah, okay, so I have a story.

Someone wanted me to ask you guys how you feel about it. So imagine if you are with a girl. It's your girlfriend. That's hard for me to imagine. I know, but put yourself there. Okay. You have one choice. How's that hard? Dude, fuck you for not keeping us updated on this,

the last topic we talked about last week. Oh, the... I really want to know if you've... I know. If you've got more than a foot job. Pursued the foot job. You're bumping fuzz. I want to know how you felt about it.

What's girl butt like? Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like, let us know, man. Come on. All right, go ahead. So, imagine if your girl, like, every time you guys were having sex and, you know, you're

behind her, she's on all fours your hands around her waist every time you guys were having sex right she like arch her back but the wrong way she went into like the more and more into black yeah you like that you like that the yoga position where you're fucking yeah no it's what is it like cat cows cat cows yeah something like that? You like that? The yoga position where you're fucking. Yeah. No, it's. What is it? Cat cows. Cat cows. Yeah.

Something like that. Yeah. Imagine if that was happening. How would you guys deal with that? I would tell her. I don't know. She's my girlfriend. Uh huh.

You can't tell her then. It'll eat her alive. She'll cry all the time. Every time you're doing it, she folds in. I think it would make me feel good. Like, oh, I got too much dick, maybe. But just not for the look. I think she's uncoordinated.

I probably would just 86 that position altogether. Just it's not a position you work with anymore. I would just keep pushing her lower back down until she understood. Just trying to break it down. Fucking put your elbow on her. What if she cramps then? I don't know. That's not my problem.

It's her problem. Because that's a real story that one of her friends is going through. She's doing it. No, no. The dude's like, yeah, dude, every time we fucking are having sex, she fucking does that weird, like, she goes, I hear you arch your back. She's about to throw up. She does it the wrong way.

It's got to look so bad, dude. Oh, dude. It's got to look terrible. Is she thin? Do you know? I don't know. Let's assume she's not. Let's assume she's not let's assume she's like midi even then yeah i'd be mad though i'd be mad like i can't even i can't enjoy this now i have to do something else yeah probably like a missionary or something yeah yeah i don't know

like what i could really say to that i think i would just have the conversation i would switch positions mid have fun whatever and then i'd bring it up after mike was like am i is that are you okay yeah pretend that you care yeah pretend that i care is that like are you is that her and she's like what do you mean well like every time we're in that position you kind of like arched like the other way just makes it seem like you're not oh no that i thought you liked that i was like oh no that's an easy fix yeah communication dude communication is everything i've learned in this sales thing just communicating in general you always you give them a compliment first so after you have it so amazing but then you go empathetic and you're just like okay like

everything okay yeah i was like did that does it hurt in that position like i want to make sure you're so you just can like manipulate her of course yeah it's a everything says yeah i thought logan's route would be more of like put a belt to her and like chain it to a board underneath her so she can't arch her back the wrong way anymore that's what i I thought Logan would do. I didn't get to answer yet, but that's what I would do. It makes sense. Just force her into doing it the right way. How would you show them some pictures of you doing it? Hey, look, this is what you want to look like. Can you do this for me?

My buddy Andrew in Ohio used to do this shit for me all the time. I didn't even have to ask him. He'd just do it unprompted. Logan, check this out. I don't think that's a hard topic to bring up. I think you just talk about it. Yeah.

All right. Well, what about this? Going off of confronting your girl about something, how much butt hair on a girl is too much to deal with? I'm not a hair guy. Are you talking cheeks or like in the brown eye? Like in the brown eye. You can go cheeks too.

Cheeks doesn't bother me too much. What's going to turn you off? I don't like hair. I'm not a hair guy. I've never been with a dark haired ass. That's another thing. If you're blonde and it's a peach fuzz, okay, whatever. It's kind of cool maybe.

A little texture difference. Something to look at. The dark hair? In the scattering is tough. It just looks like extra dirt. I just want to skip this question altogether i don't like it bringing back memories no it's just like you guys have been with a lot of darker i haven't well i haven't dealt with it they've all been on their on their p's and q's but like yeah god forbid that day comes she rebelled with us we don't have to deal with that kind of stuff no but you know it's just it's not something i want to play yeah it's definitely worth getting waxed or playing

the sand with laser or something i always wonder how they keep it so like yeah because my ass dude i'm always curious about that like how do you do that how do you make make it always like right you just lack a test it's got to be no we all of them are just putting in all that work? Because I'm saying, like, it's a lot of work. They're not the type. Yeah. It's definitely. My shit's a full-time job to keep it clean.

Oh, yeah. No, there's no way. I'd have to find. And I like to keep, like, you know, a clean look. It's like, you know, your face. Like, as soon as you shave it, six hours later, I have to. My shit's back. Yeah.

It's coming back. Yeah, I feel that, too. Yeah. My stuff goes back so quick. So what was the question? How do we feel about that? How much hair is too much? If you're dark haired, you got to be on it.

You got to be on it. Unfortunately for you, it's just not, life's not fair. You got to shave that or wax it, whatever you guys do. You got to do something. You're blonde and you got some, okay. Maybe acid on it or something. So like four or five at most. Hairs?

Yeah. Individual hairs. No, that's even worse. Yeah. Like if it's clean and then you have like fucking. You can count them. There's just like missed spots. What is it, two maybe then?

One hair that I could just get rid of or a couple. Just pull it. Tie me with like a spank and just. It's a good idea. Yeah. It's really good. It's a good idea. Yeah. Tie me with like a spank and just. It's a good idea. Yeah. It's a really good idea. Yeah. All right.

Andrew, you had a good would you rather. Yeah. So this is applied to all situations. It's locked in for life. You can't change your life either to get out of it. You still got to go outside. It's like feedback from that. But would you rather have a 50% chance

to have to say a racial slur to anybody that's not your race or a 10% chance to have to catcall a girl 16 or under every single time you see one? 16 or under, like all the way down to fucking three, like what, a newborn child? All right, we could do like... 16 to 10.

I was going to say like seven. Let's say they've hit puberty at least. A lot of girls get period in like fourth, fifth grade. Can we just do catcalls just in general? A 10% chance. So if you see 10 girls one of them i see you're gonna have to do it time girls bring their babies into the office every day well we limit it to 10 okay it's fair 10 to 16 so every day i'm gonna cat call or it's like a game

of craps you're rolling dice or i'm gonna say a racial slur probably 15 times a day call somebody a wop just hey hey guinea there's italian yeah you can say that i'm i'm picking that one for sure even though it's so it's like tourette's you have tourette's but well i mean it'll be much more direct you know like you'd like call them out find them and you're like hey you yeah hey come here yeah oh man for me that one is much more common but I'm not gonna go to jail for it you know you're not gonna go to jail for catcalling a 10 year old either but you might you're not gonna go to jail for it you're just gonna be either way you're I'm gonna take the 10% I take 10 i'd rather deal with it less times than have to deal with it yeah but you can have

like an unlucky day where that 10 is hitting and like that may be the way let's say you're knocking on a door and there's like a park in the neighborhood and it's like a girl's birthday party and you're just going bouncing for the next nice ass yeah i could play that off yeah take your shirt off the racial slur i probably couldn't play off i don't have that one like you know that like you're talking about me i know you're talking about me there's nobody else and 50 of the time every other guy if i did that i would just i would always walk around with airpods in and be like oh no i'm on the phone i'm talking to him oh yeah i'm not talking to him. Oh, yeah. I'm not talking to you. I think I'm still going to run the slur one. I'm on the 10%.

Yeah, I'm on the 10%. Fuck that. Minimize risk. Minimize risk. I like that. I think it's a bigger risk. No, dude. What do you mean?

You're going to be getting in way more fights if you're doing the racial slur one. I barely see kids. I barely see kids. It's true. That's also a good point. I don't see a lot of young women. Well, family's not off the table. You just added that in.

You just added that in. We didn't say non-related girls. I'll move away. It's easy. I don't have any young girls in my family, so I'm good. I've got a two-year-old. I've got eight more years of not worrying about it. I don't know how old she is, but she's got to be saved. The older you get, the worse it gets, too.

Yeah. The more worse it gets too Yeah The more detailed it gets Yeah see that's what I'm saying When I'm 60 You know the racial slur thing Might just be normal Cause I'm older You know

No No No it's not You guys are gonna be 60 Looking at 10 year olds And just Doesn't matter I'll go to a retirement

I'll live in a retirement community Play golf all day It's way easier to avoid children than it is to avoid different demographics all day you picked wrong yeah you picked wrong i like a challenge car what's the next one all right um so have you guys ever like when you guys were younger did you guys ever steal money from your parents no no not steal but i would keep like change and not give it back is that considered Have you guys ever, like when you guys were younger, did you guys ever steal money from your parents? No. No. Not steal, but I would keep like change and not give it back. Was that considered stealing?

I would do that. I was always such a good kid, dude. I never did anything bad. My mom was like, if I went to the store, she's like, okay, what's left? But if there was like a dollar on the counter or something, you guys wouldn't snag it? No. My mom would remember the dollar.

She's like, it was a test. Dryer money? I would take dryer money. Mostly because I figured it would be mats because my parents just wouldn't have fucking crumpled up singles. I wish I could have got hot lunch so fucking bad, dude.

Oh, dude. You were a bring your PB&J to school every day? I was never a eat lunch. I always brought my own lunch. My mom always packed me lunch. I was a hot lunch kid from the start. You want to hear something crazy? I always looked my own lunch. My mom always packed me lunch. I was a hot lunch kid from the start. I always looked down on the kids that ate lunch at school.

I wish. I don't want that shitty pizza. The pizza was the best part. The french bread pizza in elementary school. Oh my god. It came in a bag. I would kill for one of those. My lunch is worth a shit.

I used to fuck around and like taco sauce on there too sometimes so so i remember that uh i used to put my blood because i didn't want to carry my lunch bag around like in class it's embarrassing it's hella embarrassing you have to show in your backpack and it was a brown paper bag yeah i mean so it was like but like i remember i would put it in my backpack i'd take it out my fucking sandwich was smashed into nothing pbj every pbj pancake i love pbj's dude but it was like it was where it was like like it was the jelly was bleeding through both sides because it was smashed by my binder and shit so when i was in middle school i just left you also had no like sense of preparation dude but no yeah that's he didn't make his lunch he's fucking stuffing his lunch in

his backpack with all his other fucking notes. I was also the kid who had fucking... It wasn't like I had folders and shit. Every paper was just in my binder. I'd carry it around in those fucking... Legit, like 75 papers

everywhere all the time. No order, nothing. And guess what? You're making way more money than anybody you went to school with. Fuck all those guys. That's been me my whole life. Everybody's looking at you like, this kid's not going anywhere in life.

This guy can't put two and two together. What teacher told you that your looks are only going to get you so far? Miss Morris. How far is he going to get me me right now that was algebra freshman year she's like logan your looks are only gonna last you so long you need to pay attention that would make me feel so good dude what the hell oh my god and i was like thank you thank you oh my god you're so crazy i can't believe you're saying that right now i could see her this more

she'd wear those fucking witch you should hit her up we're saying that right now. I could see her fucking straight. She'd wear those fucking witch boots. You should hit her up. We should find her right now. I should. She's probably still there. Miss Morris, I'm still doing okay. I'm doing all right still. You're doing all right.

It's lasted me at least 10 more years since my dad. At least. So what I did though is I left every fucking lunch in my locker. Sorry, like halfway through one of the years,, like halfway through like one of the years, sixth grade or seventh, one of the years I was in middle school. And they were fucking, at the end of the year, you clean out your thing. I cleaned out like fucking 37 like rotten.

Oh, you never ate them? No. I thought you would like sneak them. No, I just would fucking throw them in my locker. Just mad at the world. I'm just not eating today. Dude, hot lunch was always so good i would get the the the chicken sandwiches every now and then those were good you brought your

lunch to high school too oh yeah did you ever did you ever the hot cheese you're like all the pretzels i'd have like the pretzels and the hot cheese cups yeah no the chicken sandwiches with the cheese was not crazy nuts bonkers actually not even like just saying that's a garbanzo shit actually nuts no my mom was always on her shit dude i'd have like a three-course meal for fucking lunch sandwich she but it wasn't like pb and j she'd make me like fucking turkey roast beef like fucking real ass sandwiches carved from a block of spicy nacho doritos on the side and my mom's a shit that was me in high school but yeah just still with pb and j but like everything else was still good i just accepted it i was like i need to eat something i got fucking

workouts after no that's when i got into working out and that's when i was like i would bring two pb and j's so i'd have a pb and j between like first and second period and then i'd have my lunch and then i have another pb i was balking dude i was putting on weight what a life i was putting on weight isn't that crazy why do you say that so weird i'd wake up balking. I was balking, dude. I was putting on weight. What a life. I was putting on weight. Isn't that crazy? Why do you say that so weird? I'd wake up. Balking.

Balking. Balking. Balking. Balking. I would wake up. My grandma would ask me what I wanted for breakfast. If I didn't want cereal, she'd make me French toast, pancake, whatever I wanted. And I was getting into working out, so she'd make me eggs, bacon for breakfast.

Dude, I had a little fucking good, dude. I would have a bagel every morning. I would wake up on my days where I didn't go to school. I didn't eat in the morning. And I'd walk out to the kitchen and my grandma wasn't there. And I'm like, fuck. All right, fuck. I'm going to go back to my room.

And then I'd wait for her. I'd listen. And she'd come out. I'm like, OK. I'd walk out and act like I just got up. And I'm looking through the fridge, scratching my head. She's like, do you want me to make you breakfast? I'm like, I mean, if you don't mind, yeah, if you want to make me breakfast.

I want French toast, but can you go to the store and get like French bread? Dude, I've had such a good life, dude. That's actually insane. That's so crazy. Your life is fucking different to you. But she loved it. She loved taking care of the kids, dude. She probably goes back in her room.

She's like, this fucking piece of shit kid, dude. No, she'd go back in her room and read the Bible. He's 18 years old and can't make fucking breakfast. She's got one hip that's not hers. No, because I would go make the... I would go... Like, there'd be days where I'd make my own eggs. And she's like, oh, let me do it.

I'm like, all right. Fine. They taste better when you make it anyways. Food tastes better if you don't make it. Yeah. And I would always say, I'm like, yeah, I just... I don't know how... Like, how do you do it?

Well, I put salt and pepper on it. It's like, I by try but it just doesn't taste as good as yeah literally oh man that's so funny shout out to grandma man i miss her she used to hem your shirts too so you'd look bigger yeah she'd fuck it i remember that dude she'd fucking put the the like the this part into the armpit so that way his she would just take down all my shirts and like some of like the bigger, like the fatter ones, she would like take down down the side. Whatever I needed, dude. That was grandma football.

Football every night. You take it to basketball sometimes at Wyeth. Logan and I would shoot crazy shots trying to have sex with your sister. And I would hit the shots. You hit him. I would hit the shots. You did hit a shot.

I was like, fuck, he's going to fuck my sister. Legally, he has to. Yeah. He hit that fucking shot. Yes, if you want to. I mean, I don't know if you really want to, but you can. Now that we're older, no. First time I met her, I knew exactly what she was going to say to me.

She's gotten better. Has she? Yeah, she's gotten better. Have you guys seen all the Hasidic Jewish tunnels in New York? I have. You know what? How funny is that?

You definitely know Logan. You know I'm saying that to everybody. He's sending me videos on there. It's on Instagram. Logan's seen it. How crazy is that stuff? Shit is so funny. I love all the memes

where it's like a... When I say free Palestine in New York and this fucking guy grabbing a couple of shit. Dragging them down. Dude, that one was my favorite. I saw one of like a party of rats in the sewer. Yeah.

And it said something about it. I love that one. The Nacho Libre one. How did you get here so fast? Yeah. I took the tunnels. I love it, dude. What do you guys think they were actually doing

well so i saw an interview with a guy who's like hey bro i'm fucking a jew and whatever he was he was like he was literally like if we were like hasidic jews but like he's not like he's gonna have like the curls but he's wearing a hat and he's like listen bro i'm a jew like what we do is like they i guess the boys just wanted like more space to like pray or whatever the fuck it was but like they did without permits they got to fill that shit up but they were kind of bummed about it that was pretty much it they went like into the sewers to pray it wasn't the sewers they just dug like their shit was down below another building and because there was nothing below that building they just fucking dug into the side of their own

wall i saw a video of like them coming out of a floor grate, though. I did see that, too. Like hat, curls, and everything. I did see that, too. So that's why I thought they were literally crawling around the sewers. No, I don't think they were. I mean, maybe they were. I'm not going to speak for them.

I don't know. I just love the memes. Yeah. I love that that's funny right now, for sure. It's the perfect time time it's so good especially at the climate too they're not doing themselves a favor no i saw somewhere i guess this is like the wholesome reason for them doing it but during covid they

dug all the tunnels so that they can go to whatever their religious ceremony is because all like the churches were shut down in New York and stuff. So they couldn't have it in a park. Yeah. They needed to hide it. So they weren't headcounted. That's a good cop out for sure. Yeah.

Definitely believable too. They're just fucking throwing craps down there, dude. Yeah, they're gambling. It's like, have you guys seen Peaky Blinders? I haven't. The Jews were like their own gang too back then. Like they were dogs. They're killing people and fucking taking names.

It's good though. I saw a comedian talking about it and he was like, yeah, all tunnels that have ever been dug are just like bad. And he was like naming like all these tunnels, like Ho Chi Minh trail, like just all these tunnels and stuff. And he's like the these tunnels, like Ho Chi Minh Trail, just all these tunnels and stuff. And he's like, the Underground Railroad.

Jesus. Bad tunnels. Bad tunnels. Tunnels underground. The cartel. The Jews. It's crazy shit. They can't mean good things.

If you're digging a tunnel underground, it can't be good. There's no way they did it for religious purposes, dude. There's no way. I don't think so either. All right. I hope they're trapping. I hope they're fucking selling something. Just fucking having a great time down there. So the Epstein clientele list came out as well.

I'm so ready for this. And there was some notable names on there, I think. Is that like the actual list that traveled there? Because I saw different things where it was like. Well, originally, all the travel, what are they called? Did you see that Stephen Hawking one? Yeah. I've seen memes on that for so long.

That's what's about to come up. I saw it the first time. I immediately put it in my phone to talk about it on the show, and then we canceled that week. And I was like, fuck, everybody's going to see it. And and then we canceled that week oh and i was like i know we're way behind everybody's gonna see it and then logan sent it to me and i was like oh no the flight logs that's what i was looking for so the flight logs came out like years ago of who had ever flown to the island but basically what was released recently was the like court transcript from the original case and a lot of things were said about what

people were actually doing on the island there was like three categories right of them was steven hawking like what he was interested in on the island i've got it in quotes if you want me to read it yes you want to read please do so funny so my parents we were talking about this like we're just chilling out watching a football game and i was like you see that stephen hawking was at epsom island and whatever and uh we're like well yeah but could he even use his penis so i looked it up he had lou gehrig's disease which means you could still use your dick but somebody had to like help him though nope no you just throw him on there not help him he just can't it's just stuck in that chair. It's just working. You gotta work

that thing. That's best case scenario to be honest. I'm stuck right here. I can't do anything. You have to do it. Make this dick come. I might play Stephen Hawking next time. Carter, you gotta work on your fucking captions for this shit. Don't caption this episode. Make this dick come. Don't do that, dude.

The transcript said... The views have been showing my cat. Make this dick. My titles have been working. I hate your titles. Some of them are so raunchy. It corners us to a specific audience.

It said Stephen Hawking liked watching undressed midgets solve difficult equations on a too high up chalkboard. That's why he would go to that island. To get naked midgets and watch them do math that they can barely reach. These fucking idiots. That list

had like three categories of acquaintance, customer and something else. So it would tell you who went there to do what and i think he was under the customer page those memes are funny as fuck too i love those all right um was there a question or we just want to talk about that just talk we just want to bring it up it was funny my my question too is, is, like, I think Bill Clinton was there, like, fucking 35 times or some crazy shit.

He was 27. 27 times. Oh, no. Yeah, I mean, like, but he was there 27 times. And, like, I'm not, like, a. So Epstein is supposed to be, like, that's supposed to be, like, the underage. Like, there's underage people there. He was, like, a traffic kingpin.

And there's, like, a whole thing, too. Like, he was actually part of, like massad which is the israel uh cia essentially okay i don't know what that is so like imagine like the cia where like they go kill motherfuckers all the time yeah assassinations and shit whatever like in wherever um that's the massad for israel okay they're like the real deal like just as deadly as and as fucked up as our cia is is the massad okay so they're probably more so probably more so and so their whole thing was like um epstein was like a agent of the massad where you basically bring people there and compromise them so it's like hey we've got dirt on you now. We need you to fucking solve equations.

Or like, be an advocate for the shit we want you to be. Oh, right. Essentially, it's like, we're going to tell everybody you fuck kids. Or yeah,

we got you on fucking kids. But, because like, did you guys ever see like, such a big get to, did you guys ever see like, what was going on in his house? No.

So like, in his house, there's a picture of Bill Clinton in a dress, like a painting just in his house. And then there's one room where there's fucking a camera, like a little side room, like this closet. And there's fucking 12, 15 monitors of a camera in every room in his house in New York.

Goon cave. Where he was gooning. He was full-time gooning. But it's like, what was this guy doing yeah like what did he you know what i mean like obviously we know what he was doing we know what he was doing yeah but it's like he really got everyone in on it he got a lot of people to like be like hey i'm so rich and i have everything in the world what's like the thing that rich people do? We get the un-gettable things that are fucked up and tormented. Crazy.

It's really cool though. I can't believe Alex Jones called that shit like fucking 25 years ago. Makes you think, dude, about the frogs. No, like I. He might be right about a lot of shit. I believe that. I heard this one thing too where like like someone basically like countered alex jones with like you know someone

could say fucking a million wrong things and say one thing right and that makes everything yeah or something like that but it's like he was wrong about sandy hook we'll say that that's easy it's an easy you fucked up that was a billion dollar fuck up yeah but like he also called the israel palestine conflict like 25 years ago he called fucking the epstein island 25 years ago he called a bunch of shit like 25 years ago and it's like man maybe he just watches the simpsons all the time what is he right on what else is he right about are there any what did he say about sandy hook that there were actors the kids yeah the kids are paid actors they're all fake dad the parents are yeah the parents Are there interdimensional? What did he say about Sandy Hook? That there were actors. The kids. Yeah, the kids were paid actors.

They're all fake dad? Yeah, the parents are fake. Shit like that. And then it cost him a billion dollars, like actually. What would you do if like in 10 years they came out? I would literally fucking be in the church of alex jones now he was saying that covid was gonna he was talking about it last year towards the end how like covid shit is gonna come back but he was talking about it for the end of last year like all these regulations they tried to didn't happen they tried i don't know i saw some stuff on it

they were trying to like do some more restrictions and stuff. People in Canada are still wearing masks. That's insane. People here are still wearing masks. Crazy. The idiots. They just, yeah, I don't know what the point is. Millionaires wearing a mask.

They're in their car. Yeah, walking outside. I'm like, dude, what are you? Get some fresh air. I remember when masks started going, just started. Like, hey, you don't have to do it anymore. People were still doing it. Because they're like,'re like well just in case i'm trying to be polite and i wasn't and i was like the looks you would get well i would just be like like i proudly

not proudly like i'm a proud boy but just like i was like guys like we're gonna be okay i'm safe it's gonna be okay it's gonna be fine and but like it's so funny in the beginning when you're like one of the first people who's like it's guys guys it's okay it's oh it's all right taking your mask off on a new planet guys we can fucking breathe it's okay it was it was interesting because i hang out in like a lot of progress it's actually crazy the last like three to four years what's been going on there's actually so much that's gone on yeah if you think about the 80s like they had like the cuban missile crisis and yeah like where they're like we're all gonna be we're all gonna die yeah and then we had our

covet where we all hung out in our houses for a full year which was awesome yeah that was a really good year like actually a bunch of free money from the government lot of Omegle streams so many Omegle streams dude my life didn't change at all our viewers would love it your life didn't change at all I went to work every fucking day

sucks I went to work so did I I got a worse job made way less money yeah I was working at fucking Costco everyone here

like these two guys were like yeah dude I'm making a thousand bucks a week doing nothing doing nothing. Doing nothing, playing league, working out. I was fucking, I got a job at Axos Bank and it was the worst job I ever had in my life.

You're a call center? Yeah. You just deal with people that think everything's your fault. Logan's getting yelled at for like them overdrafting their card. Not even that. They're like, hey, listen, I want to transfer $10,000 every day for the next 45 days. I like okay like just call in like no set it up i'm like i don't want to do that shit like look dude i just started i and like we did a month of training at our houses and like we had to go through these tests and shit and i didn't i was like i fucking would miss

i get like 25% on these tests. Great. Next step. And it would just be like, try again. And I'd just try the next answer. It's like, nope, try again. I didn't learn anything. And then three months later, I was like, I'm just not showing up anymore.

I'd rather work at a different call center where I'm selling timeshares on the phone. Hey, look what that started though. Yeah. It started everything, dude. It's crazy. It's so crazy. I was on timeshares on the phone where people were smoking cigarettes inside. Literally, homeless people

worked there. I'm not even joking. It was where homeless people worked. It's so crazy. Like a non-profit? No, it was like, maybe if I get a sale they'll give me 30 bucks me and them right next to each other sharing headsets i mean that's where you were at that point in your life i would type i would fucking carry around a fucking napkin and use the keyboards

and they made me fucking sick. Oh, they were so gross. I just had a fucking napkin in my hand all the time. I was like touching mouses and shit. That's so terrible. Look at us now. Look at us now, man. Oh, yeah. Halfway through the episode, sock off.

They love it, you know. I'm a man of the people. All right. Would you guys rather wake up from a coma in the middle of a zombie apocalypse or wake up the last person on Earth? So zombie apocalypse suggests that. So Walking Dead plot season one. Yeah, pretty much.

Or where you just know your last person. Season one was so good, dude. It was good until, I think, three. But the first season was just so good. First one was nuts. There was nothing like it. It was good until three, got bad for about one or two, and then got good again.

Yeah, I didn't. After the governor and stuff was introduced and all the good people got killed off. Yeah, I left after that. When Negan got involved, though. Yeah. I don't know anything about then i heard that was like yo it got good again last i remember is them finding like the black pastor in the forest yeah that was like the last bad yeah that's i stopped watching i just remember seeing a clip of glenn getting beaten today i was like my God. What the fuck am I missing? Holy shit. You saw his eye fall in.

Yeah. Oh my God. Spoiler alert. Yeah, sorry if you guys haven't watched it. If you've watched that 10-year-old episode. The Walking Dead. Okay, what was the option? So either you're Rick Grimes

or you're the last person on Earth. Like the show, Last Man on Earth. Like actual last person on Earth. Yep. That would suck. Yeah, what do you want to do? I mean'd be like it'd be fun for the like first little bit like the first couple months you're just doing whatever the fuck i was gonna say one month you said a couple months so let's say there's so last

person on earth like everybody just vanished so nothing's like destroyed or anything it's not like nukes went off and everything so you could just go. It's just everything's exactly how it is right now. It's just you're the last person on Earth. Like, do we wake up from a coma as well? Yeah, you wake up from a coma, but everything's like fine. Stores are all intact. You can do whatever the fuck. Yeah.

You can sprain your ankles still. You have unlimited supplies. Nobody to take care of you. So there's no bodies or anything, no it's just it's it's avengers he's you know snapped the finger everybody so that show last man on earth though it was literally like he was the last man on earth and then he found another girl and they were like hanging out for a while and she just dipped out eventually how sad would that be you're the last person on earth you finally found somebody and you just kill yourself right after. I have to,

I would choose the last man on earth, but I think I do zombie apocalypse. It would suck, but I think it would just be more like, I think you would go absolutely insane. Not having anybody to talk to. Okay. You just kill yourself when you had enough.

You can do last man on earth plot, but the only girl left is Gypsy Rose. Who's Gypsy Rose? The girl who just got out of jail. Oh, whose mom made her think she was sick. If it was me and Gypsy Rose, I'd be knocking Gypsy Rose down. No question.

Whoever is left, really. Gotta repopulate the earth. First thing I'm gonna do, I'm gonna go to a sex store and just fucking wear out. That's what I thought. Wear out one of those jelly fucking bodies.

Every one of them. Because the thing is, I'm going to give them a name, give them a whole fucking thing. Like after three, five, six months, I'm going to be like,

all right, I've tapped everything in this store. What else am I going to do though? Does the internet work still? No. They should if everything just disappears. It's all the same. Wow. same wow okay yeah that's not a bad life eventually though internet

places because you know what i'm gonna do dude i'm gonna fucking just be like okay cool i'm gonna smoke all the cigarettes i'm gonna smoke drink and jack off as much as i'm gonna go through people's shit a lot yeah i'm gonna go through rich people's houses i'm gonna go through fucking like trap house is this heroin fuck it i mean you do have to fly a plane to places i'm not supposed to be yeah fuck it yeah i'm doing that one or i'm eating even alive by a zombie and i really don't think there's any chance i die to that is it i i'm probably crazy i think it'd be kind of fun to live in a zombie apocalypse. It'd be so much fun. I think it'd be kind of fun.

I think with the right people. For a little bit. If you're with people, yeah, but if you're not... Well, we wake up and it's just us. All of our women have died. We have to find new ones. Our women and our shitty dog.

The one shitty dog died too. Yeah, yeah. Coco's gone. She got eaten because she was too loud. She drew all the attention. We should make a pact if that ever happens that we meet up. Well, yeah. We need to draw a map actually tonight.

We leave our families. We draw a map. Yeah. We just... My brother's house. Deal. He's ready. He's probably building a fence right now.

Yeah, he's deep in the... Yeah, I don't know. Shit's getting bad. Bought a bunch of ammo. Some water. It's okay, man. It's okay. We'll go to his house. Joseph's the kind of guy that wouldn't elect himself

leader. Imagine how much fun we would have, dude. I think it would be so sick. Because they're not people at that point it'd be so fun i don't see it being that it'd be like fishing but with zombies yes literally zombies what kind of zombies are we talking yeah walking dead zombies we're not talking fucking world war z fucking i am legend zombies because there am legends no we're not doing that last man on earth every time we're talking about the you know the fucking they're like fucking crawling around barely walking at you which i never understood how those like plots even work like if there is even two zombies on

one person how much of that body is even left for that person to like turn you know what i mean i feel like if one zombie was there and he bit somebody, they're going to eat that whole person. You're not going to let that... You're just going to get bit and fucking get away. The whole idea of The Walking Dead 2 is though that everybody's infected, so you don't even have to die from a zombie.

Yeah, you just die and then you turn into a zombie. Do you ever find out what started it? Like the cause? No. Because I just remember from the first season they used to always show that roadkill. There's a new show that's coming out. Last of Us. That was good. That show's good.

So good. It's a new take. Those are different zombies, though. Those are scarier zombies, though, right? But that's the same thing, though, right? Those are fucked. There's different types of zombies. You die, you turn into...

Yeah, cordyceps. It was cordyceps that were in cereal or some shit. Or just in wheat. It was in wheat? Yeah. The real thing, though, not that people turn into zombies, but cordyceps die at our body temperature. It's like a degree or two below.

But if they got acclimated to a higher temperature in nature, as if our global warming would work out, it's a whole thing. It's cool, though. It's cool, though. It's basically like a parasite that controls your mind. I think I'd do zombie apocalypse. I just think being the last person on Earth, I am going to kill myself at some point.

No, I'm not killing myself. I think I'm going to kill myself either way. That's why. Yeah, I think eventually I would do it for the zombies, too. Well, I would just hold out the hope in a zombie apocalypse that I'm actually with some people that I actually enjoy being around. And it's going to suck and I'm going to have to fucking survive, but at least I get to fucking be around somebody.

Maybe I even chain like a zombie up and talk to them. Yeah. If I get cornered, you know. But I'm definitely not having kids. I don't understand that at all. Yeah, that's just dumb. Why do you want to raise a baby? But you can't blame them, dude.

You're fucking banging out in a zombie apocalypse. I going raw and i'm dumping inside my thought is like like i'm holding out hope that there's other people we're like it's not like you're locked in a cage but you know you're going into it i'm the last person on earth you know that though yes for the last person on earth one yeah you know and then the other one's like there's hopefully there's other people you walk out of the hospital and there's blood everywhere that's how i feel like i feel like you should basically get the fucking mindset of like the person that would have like rick graham just woke up and he's like what the where the fuck am i and there's just dead things everywhere what the fuck is this what's going on you see like a weird old lady walking at you like what's this bitch up to you know i mean

and then the other guy's like where is everybody oh you know what i'll fucking write on the buildings because what else am i gonna do today i'm gonna go to the supermarket and pretend grocery shop i'm gonna at least with the zombie pockets there's something to do you know you have a purpose on earth does it change your answer if say ai is taken over so there's artificial intelligence robots and stuff around just not humans. They're not going to kill me? You're the last human on Earth. Do I get to have sex with robots? Yeah, can I fuck the robots? They would love you, dude.

If that's what you need, then sure. Yeah, I'm doing that one then. That one sounds cool. Yeah, I'll do that right now. They can probably fold into a different girl. Or just imagine they're fleshlighting you. Just four of them.

Yeah. And I would just pretend that they've got personalities and it's like, Barbara, shut up. I'm talking to Stacy right now. And then it activates Barbara in the brain. And then Derek comes over and it's like me and Derek are together now. They're all the same robot. But Derek really gets me.

Yeah, I'm definitely doing that one no questions asked that's easy Derek can you go by Derica now alright well that's all we have for you guys this week what a random ass episode huh talked about so much

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