Who Knows? Who Cares. - Everyone Enjoys a Good Anal.

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

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shit your pants but you shit into your pants. Okay, that's good. Don't lie. Yeah. Wait a second, you're a bitch. I'm like, oh, like, are you wet right now? I didn't, I didn't. You know what, though, Sam?

Here we go. Are you fully bricked up after kissing? No, you're not. Nick? Nick Bay, 47? Oh, I thought you were talking about the little things. Oh, no. We're live?

We're live, though. Oh, man. My feet fucking stink. This is better. This is already better. We're back. Number 47. It's been a while since we've seen you guys.

So long. About a week. New guy on the show. We're here. We got Trey. New guy. Older guy. First time ever. Is this two or three for you? It's been a while since we've seen you guys. So long. About a week. New guy on the show. We're here. We got Trey. New guy, old guy. First time ever. Is this two or three for you?

It's three. It's the third time. Third time on the show. Yeah. A lot of requests for you to come back. I bet, man. What's your name? I'm Trey.

You're Trey? For those that don't know me, especially you, Michelle. Tell us a little bit about you, Trey. Well, I've been friends with you guys since high school, basically. Met you two through baseball. I met Andrew way back in baseball. Was he your friend, though, like this, or no? No, no.

He's never your friend. We weren't talking pussy back then. No, we didn't get close until I feel like we all graduated. No, I slept over at your house. I slept over at your house. I also slept at your house. I don't remember that. We played baseball, like Mario baseball, on your weeks.

You guys had a pet iguana. I don't want to hear about that. I'm trying to say that Trey and I are closer friends than you two. I know, dude. Did you know his pet iguana when he was a kid? I did. What was his name? Cray. Wow. Good for. Oh, I know, dude. Did you know his pet iguana when he was a kid? Because I did. What was his name? Cray.

Wow. Good for you. What's up, dude? That's good. Yeah. Backfired on you. Uh-huh. All right, hold on.

Stop, stop, stop. Cut it, Carter. Cut it. So Trey and I were really close because we met in baseball. Yeah. And then you guys met later on, right? Well, we met first. You guys might have got closer after us, but I knew him first, guaranteed.

We were way closer i don't know honestly because i've known his neighbors no no i'm i'm speaking for you right now go ahead go ahead go ahead me he has these neighbors that right down the street few houses down the street been close to them all my life so i've probably interacted with him when i was super young you didn't sleep at his house, though. No. Yeah, that's tough. And I actually, that sleepover, it was your birthday, I remember. I didn't know any of your friends that were there. No, I had bad friends compared to you.

And I was the first to fall asleep and got a bucket of water dumped on me. It dumped on you, huh? Yeah. I had an old fish tank. I would have never done that. An old fish tank? You probably were there. We tried to put his hand in warm water to make him pee.

Oh, yeah. And that didn't work, so I think Garen dumped the water on him. Yeah. I didn't know any of these kids. I just woke up with water on my face. I think you were there. I don't think he was there. Maybe sixth.

Oh, man. It's right on the edge. You guys know that far back? Yeah. I didn't know that. I've known Logan since sixth, seventh grade. No, I. You guys know that far back? Yeah. I didn't know that. I've known Logan since sixth, seventh grade. No, I'm saying you and Trey. We played Little League together.

We were in elementary school when I met Trey. Oh, my God. Dude, you just made me think of something. Okay, so I've got a story for you guys. So we all played baseball growing up, right? Mm-hmm. There was a kid on my team. He left my team, went on a new team.

Let's call it the Eagles. Okay. You know what I'm talking about? It's not called the Eagles. It's the Hawks. Yes. Yeah, I got you. Okay.

I don't know why you're making that a secret. Well, because it's going to get really juicy here in a second. So one of the kid's moms was married, right? So this kid's like a little superstar, but his mom wanted to make sure her kid got playing time. So what does she do? Starts fucking the coach. Starts fucking the coach.

Oh, yeah. And she's married. I don't know who this is, by the way. I don't know this story either. Starts fucking the coach. You say you know Carter? Is the coach hot? No.

No, bad looking dude. If I remember... You know who the coach is. The Hawks coach was black. No. Well, there's a black guy and a white guy. There's like five different

Hawks teams. That's true. He looks like Joey Diaz. He looks like Joey Diaz, huh? I don't know if I know that name. Well, the kid... His mom was fucking the coach. Did he get paid time? Yeah, he did.

I can't believe we didn't fucking rub his nose in it. Because one of the kids on the Centennial team blew another kid, and we rubbed his nose in it. Do you know what I mean? Did that ever get confirmed? No, 100% it was a video. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Did that ever get confirmed? No, 100% it was a video. Can you imagine? I don't even know how you get that drunk.

You don't. You don't get that drunk. Yeah, you don't get that drunk. I'm so drunk. What did I do? Guys, don't take advantage of me right now. They would both have to be that drunk. I'm so drunk right now. They both wanted it, Trey.

They both wanted it. They were wanted to try it. Yeah. Yes. They both wanted it. They're both totally into it. I didn't go to Centennial. Yeah. But anyways, long story short.

So that I thought of that. It's a good mother. I thought that the other day, how far would you go to get your kid playing time? That's on him. And he needs to be better. Yeah. A hundred percent. He needs to be better.

Just my, my son. Yeah. I would beat him. But I would fuck the coach. What if you had a daughter? How far would you go for your daughter to get playing time? Playing time?

And the coach is a female? Whatever. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. What sport were you playing? It doesn't matter. It's got to be equal scenario. It's got to be a female coach. Volleyball.

Volleyball? I'd do anal with her to get her... You'd do that for her? I'll do all it takes. Just for her, though. Yeah. I want the best for my kids. Because you love your daughter. I love my daughter so'll take just for her though yeah I want the best for my kids

because you love your daughter I love my daughter so much so you cheat on your wife I don't I feel like I didn't say we're married it's a very good experience

same scenario to be humbled and just know you're not that good so you don't love your kid that much you can't tell a kid that because the well the worst

the worst kids were the ones that sucked but played because of some specific some favor the worst kids were the ones that sucked but played because of some specific favor and so they thought they were that good well their parents were doing anal that's what i'm saying like i know a pair of brothers that were i wouldn't want but i wouldn't want my kids still played i wouldn't want my kid to be that asshole though that's a good point i one of my favorite teammates my senior year of high school, I did not like him. Okay, I go way back with this kid.

Initials. He doesn't have to say that. We'll say that after. First one to see. Okay, just continue. Okay. I know that one. So I played baseball with this kid all my life,

and he wasn't the greatest, and he would play a little bit. And when he came into high school, I don't know what it was, just kind of an asshole. Just no one really liked him until – He was an asshole in high school? Kind of, yeah. Yeah, like just not someone you really wanted to be around. Guys.

Okay, okay. Yeah, I hated that kid. Yeah. Everybody did. Everybody did. But then senior year, he finally just kind of gave up and realized, like, I'm not going to play. I can just fuck around.

And he turned out to be one of the funniest kids I knew. And especially with our coach that we had, he would fuck with the coach so much and it was just so much fun damn i wish i could decide that because i hated that guy yeah you'll always hate him because you never got to know the fun yeah yeah i don't know i trust you though oh i thought you're talking about the coach i thought you're saying you hated the coach no no he's a great guy now i trust you he's a he's a yeah he's a great guy now. I trust you. He's a, he's a, yeah, he's a great guy now. Kind of a frat boy, but.

I love that for him. So you think first impressions are like overrated? No. I mean, at that age, yeah, when you're young, you just want to be like. So what would you guys do for your kid though? What would you guys do for your kid? Whatever it takes. Maybe pay.

You'd pay money? Yeah. Would you pay with your penis? I would pay with meat. I would... No, I think I would pay with money before I did any sexual stuff. But then what if money wasn't enough? It was like, Trey, I've seen you wear those tight jeans. You've got a nice little bulge I'm trying to taste.

I don't think I could do it. Really? Mm-mm. What if she had a long tongue? If we're talking she, then yeah. It's a similar scenario. It's got to be hetero. Well, yeah, but I don't know.

You guys got to remember that I haven't experienced a lot of stuff, so not everything is as appealing. What if she said specifically, I'll get the balls? Focuses on it, even. I don't know. I don't think I can do that. You? Yeah.

Okay, wait, wait. Also, how old is the kid? Like, what age are we talking? If it's literally, I'm not doing shit for the kid. No, no, 16. Like, this is prime. She's trying to get scouted.

Yeah, this is scouting. She's really good, but coach hates her. Do you think your kid deserves playing time? Like, he's good? Yeah, that's it. I'm a good kid.

I'm going to make him deserve it. Okay, that's different. I thought you were saying If my kid is shit If they were actually good I think I would do a little more So you would do anal is what you're saying That's a lot

No that's too much But he would let her eat his ass I'm interpreting it I think it's a loophole for sure He would lay on his back Pick his legs up I don't know if I'd like it and yeah, I think it's a loophole for sure. He would he would lay on his back pick his legs up Yes, yes, I don't know if I like it and she'd get sure you're gonna like Get on all fours and have her like do it don't do that bottom like that. Yeah, I like it

I Think his last was the last episode you guys were talking about a similar situation or the one before with somebody said trombone. And I thought that was the funniest thing ever. Yeah. Logan probably said it. I think that's what you're talking about. Because usually you're not going that way.

Like it's not a trombone motion. Yeah. And I was like, Oh, it's gotta be from behind. Yeah. I've been tromboned. Yeah.

It's great. It's tight. I always had to throw my face though. Yeah. Oh my God. You came so hard that timeone. I've been tromboned. Yeah, it's great. It's tight. I always had it thrown in my face, though. Yeah. Oh, my God. You came so hard that time. And I was like, shut up. I know.

Oh, they bring it back to you. I know. They always talk about it. It's like, dude, we don't need to talk about it. I know what happened. I was there. Do it again. You know what I mean?

Or whatever. Are you top five? No. It's not. I vote a lot of them. Really? That's all he does it's whatever you guys like anal oh yeah i love it i love it real good before the episodes no drip bow can't say that before

the episode you asked one of your friends a question what was the question well i asked them if they had any questions for us and the first thing she said is, why is anal so appealing? I feel like it's obvious. You think it's obvious. Let me hear it. Why do you think it's appealing? It's tighter. Okay.

Fair? It is fair. That's a good point. I didn't think about that. I like the fact that it's a good point I didn't think about that I like the The just The fact that it's Like a no spot Yeah

It's forbidden The forbidden fruit Dude But You're talking Like I feel like You're talking his language right now It's not as forbidden

With What no You still gotta convince So for me It's more of the domination thing Yeah That's what it is for me. You can dominate that one more than the other one?

No. Do you know what I'm saying? Break it down for me. Talk to me. I can understand you. It's just like the what is it? Like the giving up control of someone else. That's the final straw, you think?

That's kind of like, it's like, man, this is... The last door that's closed. And you own it now. It's the last frontier. And I'm just coming in with an army. And they're just like... Helpless. No.

Okay. You like the full surrender is what it is okay it's a power move you think that's true yeah sure man exactly what I feel

do girls truly enjoy it yeah girls will enjoy anything that makes like if a man that she cares about you can't enjoy this she will enjoy it

but I'm talking physically physically physically yes depends on the girl. If they realistically give it a chance, I have never had one that doesn't love it. Bingo. You have to actually be open to it and want to enjoy it. So do you think you would enjoy anal if it was done to me?

Yes. Probably. Yeah. I'm a dog. The thing is, I'm an opportunist, so if you give me any opportunity to enjoy myself, I'm going to do it. You tell me I'm going to hit the wall when I shoot,

I'll try it. Yeah, that's exactly it. If I don't love it, I don't love it. You have to want it. That's what it is. If everyone on board wants it, there's no reason it's not going to be good. Then it's a party.

No matter what. If the girl the whole time is just like, oh, I'm only going to do it so he shuts up, it'll never be good. Not cool. Never. She's got to be like, oh, you know what? Fuck it.

Everybody's talking about it. It's the rave right now. It's what's hot right now. Yeah, TikTok anal trend. Everybody get on it. You're going to love it. It's going to be good. If they have that mindset going into it,

it's going to be good for both of you. They're going to blow. Okay. I feel like it'd be pretty similar to the reaction I had when I started vaping. When I first tried it, I was like, why do people like this? Then you try it, and you find out the water's fine. No, no, no. I tried it.

I tried it, and I'm like, people really like this. Why would someone want to feel lightheaded? But then you do it a little more, and it's like, okay, this is actually kind of nice. It's better than than normal that's exactly what anal is like literally but you just described is anal 100 the first time is not going to be your mind's blown no because you're you're trying so hard to and we're talking from the women's perspective right do things right not fuck it up even from a man's perspective you don. Do things right, not fuck it up forever. Even from a man's perspective, you don't want to like, make it a bad time. Yeah.

Like you can't just, you're crazy. You're like, I just want to make sure you're okay. But from a man's perspective, do you like it right away? Which is hot. Even if you're taking it slow.

It's hot. It's such a good view. You're just like, oh my God, this is happening right now. A wise man once said, you know, gripping and hugging

squirts and farts. Yeah, squirting and farts. Do that ignorant shit. Can you tag know, gripping and hugging. Just give you something else to do. Squirting and farting. Do that ignorant shit. Can you tag that, Carter? Right there. That clip. Right here. Just squirting and farting, squirting and...

Yeah. Gripping and hugging. The ignorant pussy Carter. Gripping and hugging. It's definitely... It's a different feeling. It's similar, but it's different. You can always tell if I'm accidentally in a butt or not.

Accidentally. Yeah. Just so they they know that's what it is yeah it's the taboo of like this isn't right it's like the what else it's the taboo of it isn't right but then they enjoy it right it's just new ground it's not supposed to happen, but we want it to. It's undiscovered ground. Just like your mom said. It's not supposed to happen. That's right. She warned you. Little did she know.

I'm not a gay boss, so he would tell him, yeah, we only blow each other. Stuff like that, I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure, because he he was old and he had a young boyfriend. So I think the only thing they did was blow each other. There might be a recoup process you have to go through.

Maybe when you're older you just don't feel like doing it. I could see that. Kegel exercise for your butt. I don't know. I have no idea. They call those beagles. You know? Maybe. I don't know.

I don't know either. I mean, it's good that gay men can appreciate top only also. It's a good code. Maybe that's what he was after. Maybe that's what he was after. He's like, you know, I just don't want to go through

the work of it. Which you knew somebody that also lives by that rule, right? I did. So Andrew lives by the rule of top only when he's hooking up with randoms used to long high school high school so long ago yes um so he'd be like oh like he'd hook up with a girl and be like oh no like i didn't bring a condom like but you can blow me i never initiated i would just i would gaslight i'm gonna be honest

with you i would beg out like oh don't worry about it like i'll i'll figure it out no big deal i'll come later and they come in and like oh like i can't do this to you a white knight and i'm like well if you say so baby girl if you want to puppy and then there you go top only and it works and did you have to eat them out or no no such a fucking dog. You'd get in a car. It's so hard to do that. How am I going to eat your buzzy in a car? We're in a car. But my wiener stands up.

So it's easy for you. The side car head is crazy too. So that's what Andrew's gameplay was. I called my buddy up. He's on the East Coast now. East Coast. He went, he's on the East coast, Midwest, East coast. He, um,

he went to like a really fun college and he's like, yeah, like dude, back in the day I would just get fucking head all the time. I was like, what you, you get head all these like dude all the time. Like I just do this thing where I lie and say I don't have a condom and they just blow me.

I was like, like dude i know a guy who does that too my thing is i wouldn't lie i never brought one yeah i guess it's a little different if you lie well you didn't bring one on purpose no the thing is right he said verbatim he said it's not that i didn't have one i just didn't want to have sex yeah he's like i would have fucked him raw i just want to get ahead if He's like, I would have fucked him raw. I just wanted to get head only. If they call your bluff, you have to sometimes. And that's just, all right, you beat me. I fold.

And that's how it works. She had a condom with her? No. You ever had that? Yes. How did you handle that situation? There's a couple of times. One time I was like, all right, you know, whatever, I'll take it.

The other time it's like, ah, like we don't. Can you still blow me? He actually snaps it when he's putting it on. Oh my God. She's ripping it out. Oh no. I lost't. Can you still blow me, please? He actually snaps it when he's putting his hand. Oh, my God. He's ripping it out. Oh, no. I lost it. I fucking tore it.

I lost it. Where'd it go? My dick is so hard right now. There's tons of routes you could take. You see, in a way, I kind of do the same thing because me being Mormon or whatever, I'm still saving it till marriage. Oh, that's best case and oh that's best case scenario

that's best case but but like i've had people ask me about it like why i haven't had sex and and a lot of the times it's like well i i personally i i don't buy a condom so i won't have you don't have the opportunity yeah because there's no way i would go my first time raw like i don't think it's so good you know i i bet it is but your first time yeah you're you're not supposed to tell me that i was because i was trying to scare you hear me out if she's on birth control, not that I've ever done this, but when you're... Oh, man, dude, fuck. He's rubbing his thigh. That's a bad sign.

He's gripping. Not that I've ever done this, right? Ever. But someone told me. And they're on birth control, right? And they're not ovulating, right? All those things have to check up. But if all those things check up and you come,

even in them. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Trey. Is it fucking... I bet. What's the name of this house? This house? Pog House?

Pog House. It's Pog House, dude. Oh, my God. Is it fucking Pog House? Does it go Pog crazy, dude? Oh, my God. Pog house is a pog house, dude. Oh my god, is it fucking pog house? Does it go pog crazy, dude? Oh my god. Pog crazy. It is a good... No, don't do it, though. Don't do it.

It's terrible. You don't want to. No. Because there's no going back. Because once you do it once, never going back. What do you mean I can't? That's how it goes every time. No, it makes sense. Maybe not this time. It's kind of funny, but a few girls that I've kind of been with at school they find it extremely attractive that i like purposely don't do certain stuff well yeah some

reason that kind of same thing with anal that's just the same thing they want to be the first one to crack you but it's not even that because they haven't really tried that but for some reason i'll be like no like i'm a. I'm kind of saving myself. And they're like, damn, that's even hotter. Because they can't. Bo used to have that card, too. They can't have it. And it worked.

Bo was 29. I didn't know how to utilize it. 29 until that card got pulled. No idea how to use it. But I had it. 29? I might bring that back. I might start saying that again.

You could. Yeah. Might start using that. They'd probably believe it. It's a huge thing, dude. Girls have a kink for it. Because, like, think about it the other way around. If you, let's say you're a sex hound like Andrew.

You know what I mean? Yeah, not like Logan, but like me. Like Andrew. Absolute monster. Just a terrible person, right? And someone's like, oh, no, like, I'm saving myself. But, like, I just want to do stuff with you. But, like, I can't. It just makes it that much better. Mm-hmm. That chase. and someone's like oh no like i'm saving myself but like i just want to do stuff with you but

like i can't it just makes it that much better that chase if i was that person if they someone told me that i would be like well no i would for me i wouldn't be into it i know you're saying but like yes when it's the no no hear me out i wouldn't push things yeah i don't want to pop someone's you're not trey dude i don't want to pop someone's. You're not Trey, dude. I don't want to do that. I don't. Right. Which Trey are we talking? I like the chase of things.

If you tell me no, now it's a game. You're a salesman. I'm going to sell you on yes. That sounds terrible. It's not. Let me take that. I take that back. You take it back.

No, you take it back. You're fine. You guys know what I'm saying, right? I know what you mean. You know exactly. I know what you mean. I'll be out. I'll be out. I'll be out. You take it back. No, you take it back. You're fine. You guys know what I'm saying. I know what you mean. You know exactly. I know what you mean. I'll be out. I'll be out.

Oh, I'm going to chop that up so bad. No, get it. It all goes back to anal. It all goes back to anal. That's exactly what I'm going to do. If you tell Logan no, he's going to do it anyway. He's going to do it anyway. That's what Logan says.

That's not what I'm saying. Would there be a difference for you if, so there's a virgin and then there's like, because somebody's choosing to be a virgin? No, I will not have sex with a virgin. Or they just haven't done it yet. I won't have sex with a virgin. You would. No, I really wouldn't.

I like, that's a real thing. Because it's like, the thing is, it's not going to be fun. What if it's like, you fell in love with this woman, you're like, oh, this is the woman I want to be with. I'm saving myself for the right guy. Logan doesn't fall in love, remember? That's true.

Bingo. It's not fun. Like, I'd rather have a girl who's got experience. That makes sense. But that's because you have sex for the experience

and the fun of it. Bingo. I'm saying if you're actually at a point in your life where you're like, no, I like this woman. Not gonna happen. That's my point.

Let's say you find a really cool dude at basketball. Yeah, a really cool guy. Holy shit. I could spend my life with him. Okay. And he's never had sex with a man. He doesn't have any experience.

Now we're talking. But you're going to want to do it, right? But he's like, oh, man, I want this, but I just never got it. He's playing your perfect scenario. Well, then, yeah. He's got a box with a lock on it and you've got the key i've got the key but it's not a perfect fit it's not you got to wiggle a little bit i gotta chip away at it i gotta get another little pick finagle it i you know what

i do i gotta get two little picks and just work it open right your index fingers uh-huh and then but then try to put the key now you can get in yeah you want that yeah but the thing is like actually though I would never have sex because like if a girl's a virgin at fucking 23 years old

I'm not her type like I may be her type but like I'm not the one if she's 18 no too young I'm just I'm just not

for Logan I'm just not the one for you there's a girl's name that pops up. For a young one? Really? No, not young. Just a really attractive girl that you said was a virgin. That I said was?

Sounds like my type of girl. Oh, yeah. You would do it. I called her ugly, though. I bullied her in middle school, too. You would do it. Now you know who it is i don't oh my god i know we gotta stop i played into it i got mad no she probably not anymore but she used to be maybe a year ago two years ago i said no way now back in the day man no i would do that one yeah i dig that one yeah that's fine yeah i would

marry that woman well we'll just tag her. If you want to marry Trey. Or anybody in this room. Whoever. Take your pick. She said I was the hottest kid in high school. She said that to me, too. Well, my grade. Now it's grade based.

He's going to high school back into it. It's a big deal for him. I was big in high school. Bottom line is anal is highly desired by men. Yeah. A hundred percent. Because it's frowned upon

for most, I think. Not frowned upon, but it's just, it's different. It's a different thing. Anything that you're not supposed to do, you want to do.

That's it. That is the bottom line. Anything that you're told, hey, you shouldn't do this, bottom. I kind of want to do it now. That's why eating ass got so cool.

Yeah. Everybody's like, oh my God, you do that? like nobody talks about anymore because now everybody does it yeah whatever now it's not cool not that cool anymore yeah this is what you wake up and do wake up eating ass i've been there yeah high school you know seven now logan has to force his way into it because it's more fun that way right right, right. She says, no, it doesn't matter. Yeah. Guys, Carter, cut that shit out. We know what you meant. We're joking.

We get it. Right. We get it. We get it, dude. He promises. Promise him. We get it. You like CNC, and that's okay.

That's, like, separate of this. That's not what I was talking about. Oh, you're talking just... All right, Carter, cut that shit out. What's next, dude? What is next? How would we survive a zombie apocalypse? I wouldn't.

I think I would. I think it'd be phenomenally easy. Yeah, I think it'd be so easy. Okay, no. But it also depends on the type of zombies. Okay. If we're talking World War Z zombies, none of us, we're fucked. We're talking realistic shit.

What about World War Z zombies? That's also not real. That's a little easier because they only come out at night. Yeah. So you can at least plan around that. It's easier. World War Z zombies are fucking... You imagine LeBron as a zombie?

Dude, I have liked the zombies. You know what I mean? Way scarier than World War Z zombies. They're scarierier but at least you know hey sun going down i need to get to a safe place quick yeah i think it all just you think world wars these zombies are not as worse as you guys ever watch that movie i've watched that plenty of times i cry every time the dog dies every time yeah it's most realistic scenario is like walking dead zombies I think so broke

bulletproof glass by running into it head first they did okay would World War Z zombies break bulletproof glass by running into it

maybe no they were fucking nuts no they might no they were kind of on the same level

they would run really quick and they'd just run over each other but they were not strong they built like a tower yeah they climbed up a fucking 100 foot wall. It was fucking

3,000 of them. So you don't think that 3,000 would run into a fucking bullet like bulletproof grass and break it? Are we talking about being alone?

Okay, this is not the conversation. I'm just saying if we're talking walking dead zombies, I'm good. I think that's the only possible reason. The only way I die in that

is like other people killing me. Yeah. Like where it gets to the point point of people are trying to survive. It would just be more harder to stay sane. All you do is walk. I gave up on it though. Realistically, think about it. Your body's decaying

and then you come back. You're not sprinting at me. I'm going to walk around in one of those shark suits, like the chain link suits. They'll never get me. I'm going to walk around in one of those shark suits, like the chain link suits. They'll never get me. That's a really good point. They'll never get me. I'm faster than 90% of the world as is.

Tell me they're all dead. I didn't think about chain link. It's a free win. The shark suits. They're not biting me. Because if a shark can't bite you, they're not biting me. There's no way they're biting you. Their teeth are falling out when they bite me.

Maybe I throw some spikes in there, you know, just spice it up a little bit. Just cause. Yeah. They hop on me, I just squeeze them. I also don't understand how that shit spreads. If you have like a group of three zombies, right, and I'm attacked, they're eating me completely. Right.

I'm not coming back. How are there so many people that get bit once and then that's it? That's true. It doesn't matter. It's a different question. It's a different question. Okay. So how are we surviving?

What was the question? Weapon of choice. Weapon of choice in a zombie apocalypse. Where are we going? Yeah. City, country. Okay, so how are we surviving? What was the question? Weapon of choice. Weapon of choice in a zombie apocalypse. Where are we going? Yeah, city, country. Okay. I'm thinking I'm going to Canada. I'm going to go to Canada,

and I'm just going to try and make it out there. Why? Where, though? I wouldn't go anywhere like... I'm thinking somewhere in California. Yeah, I don't want any seas. Northern. You don't any northern deal with that do you realize there's nice year round how many people are in california yeah california but i'm

saying you're going to like i'm going to go to a more secluded spot 13 i'm thinking you don't want to survive over 26 something you don't want to survive in the winter ridiculous something ridiculous there's like 26 million people in californ Maybe I'd go to one of those cities up in northern Nevada. That's where the worst place to be. Definitely would start there, 100%. 26 million people are going to be there. So the people who live... That's fair.

They're going to migrate their way up. Are going to go anywhere else other than there. So that's a bad choice in my opinion. You're dead. That's fair. I'm thinking... I don't want to survive winter time, super cold. I don't want to do that.

No one wants to do that. Somewhere around here. Utah, Arizona. Arizona, maybe in a more flat area because then at least you can see them coming. You can build up a wall

and shit and you're fine. I would choose like peaks. Like a mountain cabin, maybe. I feel like they might, like, they have a way of like,

maybe, out of nowhere, just kind of sneaking up. You ever seen Donkey Kong where he throws the barrels down? Barrels down the bay. That makes sense. Zombies aren't climbing mountains. They're not climbing mountains.

That's a good point. I would do somewhere high and dry. Vegas sounds kind of perfect for it. Vegas wouldn't be bad. But where are you going to get the shit that you need to live? Vegas is pretty big. I'd just lock down here, honestly. It wouldn't be bad. Where are you going to get the shit that you need to live? Vegas is pretty big. I just love down here, honestly. It wouldn't be bad.

Like, where are you going to get your food from? A lot of stores. You can grow shit here. I got a bonsai tree cooking right there. Well, you know, us Mormons are big into food storage, so we're already prepping for that stuff. Right, for the rapture. Yeah, that's tough, you know, having the food.

Maybe go hit Lake Mead for a little bit. Go get a little houseboat, chill on the water. Also a good option. Die from eating some nasty ass fish. Die out for a little bit. Just chill out on the lake. You know no zombie's going to get you. Everybody's going to die.

The lake's going to refill. Fish are going to thrive. See, if you go to Arizona. It's not a bad point. Not a bad point. You could fish for a living. Find a lake, you know. Find a lake with a boat.

Good at fishing. Little houseboat. You got to live on the water. Here's the one thing you got to realize is, yes, that's true. There will be other people on that lake. Find a lake with a boat. A little houseboat. You got to live on the water. Here's the one thing you got to realize is, yes, that's true. There will be other people on that lake, and maybe they want to kill you. That's what I'm saying. That would be the harder part. If we're talking walking dead zombies that are slow,

I never understood how a zombie snuck up on somebody. If you're in a city, that's how they snuck up on you. Because there's a million of them all walking together. That's why. It's not the one. It on you. There's a million of them all walking together. That's why. It's not the one. It's the fact that there's 47 of them. So I briskly jog in the other direction. I'm good. Okay. I'm a really

good liar. I could talk my way out of them. Look, guys. You don't want to eat me. I eat the SCP. You don't want to eat me. You're going to get bad blood. Arizona, there's a ton of coy gross. You don't want this. Arizona, there's a ton of coyotes.

That'd be your food. A flat area. They do like a... Maybe Texas. You can just shoot coyotes in Arizona just whenever. I'm thinking somewhere by the water. You could chill out nighttime, not have any stress, and zombies aren't swimming to you. During the day, I could dock up, go get my food, whatever.

Do they drown, though? I don't know. I mean, who knows? Zombies could swim. The thing is, you've got to get bait. That's the thing. So it's, like, obviously, like, fish. Throw a zombie arm.

Sharks are going to eat that. Nobody's going to be fishing, dude. No one's going to be fishing, but what are you going to use to fish? Noodle. That's when you get snuck up on is when you're fishing. Not in the middle of the water. Not in your little lake. Oh, if you're on a boat, no. Yeah, you're going to use to fish. Noodle. That's when you get snuck up on is when you're fishing. Not in the middle of the water. Not in your little lake. Oh, if you're on a boat, no.

Yeah, you're fine. Where are you going to get the gas from to keep driving around? Look, dude, there's just a lot of stuff going on. I'll figure it out as we go. No one's thinking like that. It's true.

Living on a canoe. Go to Canada. Canada, you have to deal with the winter. Right, but this is what you do. You just kill a deer. Just to Canada. Dude, but Canada, you have to deal with the winter. Right, but this is what you do. You just kill a deer. Just one. Maybe two. Just leave it in the cold.

It'll freeze. You cut it off. No. No shot. You leave it in your cabin. Keep a fire around it. Just start defrosting it. It's every day you do that.

I get a rope. I tie myself down on my boat to the shore. I don't have gas, but I can pull myself in. I got arm strength. You know? I'll just pull the boat in every night or every day.

I think you're getting a Holocaust body after that. I don't think you're going to be going to the gym too much. No, I got plenty of testosterone saved up. I'm good. That's a good point. Yeah, I'm good. So we're not going to make it. That's what I'm getting out of this.

None of us are going to make it. I mean, I think we made it for a little while. It's just a matter of time. Yeah, I think we make it maybe three months i'm giving five years no because that's no you're not right now if the world ended you'd make it five years i think so we're not cut out for that we're not cut out for it at all crazy once you i think you get if you can survive a certain amount of time to where you have like a routine then you're chilling it's getting you know how to start it that's hard out of nothing yeah it was a boy scout he was a boy scout boy scout was andrew boy scout

i used to have cp no you could find a lighter somewhere i could easy start a fire i was a a c what is a lifeguard i don't know how to do cpr anymore so what you just said doesn't mean anything to me how you do is push down their chest just because you forget everything doesn't mean we do. Yeah, it's easy start a fire. I've seen tons of Survivor episodes, a lot of Bear Grylls. You're going to find a lighter somewhere.

Carter, help me out here. Even just a magnifying glass. You're going to find a lighter somewhere, dude. You got your Zippo lighter on you right now. You think you're not going to have that? That's a good point. Okay. Yeah. I know you like it a lot.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Who gave that to you? I don't remember. His wife. I don't know where it is it's okay you don't have to get it's really i wouldn't play with it though it's probably best you don't weapon of choice though there's a bit of choice of choice because i've thought about this too because i'm like i you would think gun but i feel like that's loud not the smartest choice gun you need a resource i'm using something that that's what i what I'm saying. So what's the best?

A bat. I mean, a bat would be okay, but at the same time... I'm thinking like a piece of rebar. But then it's going to get stuck. Like a pipe. It's not going to get stuck. A bat is nice and comfy in your hands. Until it breaks. If you give me a bomb bat...

An aluminum bat is not going to break it. On someone, though. On bones? On aluminum? Yeah. If you give me a bomb bat, it's a bat that's basically indestructible. It's not going to break it. On bones? On aluminum? Yeah. If you give me a bomb bat, it's a bat that's basically indestructible. It's not made out of full wood.

It's like a... I'm thinking like a katana. Like a plastic... Think about it. You're not breaking your bat on a person, though. Over time, you would. I think so, dude. Not a bomb bat.

You leave your bat out, it gets rained on. A bomb bat is a bat that's got a metal rod through it. Yeah. And it's made out of not wood, but like a plasty metal thing. I'm doing a piece of rebar. I'm bending it up into like a hook. So it's kind of just like a little handle. I don't know.

Maybe I'll grind it on a rock and make it pointed. Walk right in front of the softball backpack so it's just right there. Yeah. Boom. I think I'd be good. I think I'd last for a while. It doesn't even have to be spiked I think I'd make it work

Bo's gonna choose his fist Bo's delusional Bo's just gonna punch zombies dead I think I'd make it work like be real though be real so like think about right now the world ends

the only way I die is from somebody else killing me so this is it though not a zombie world ends right now people stop filling up gas stations people like the whole

like an EMP drops yeah cause no one's working anymore. No technology anymore. Nothing. Okay. How do you go anywhere?

You know my brother? Well you were talking about going to Canada. I'm linking up with him immediately. You link up with your brother. That's fair. My brother's got an arsenal.

That's a good point. We're going somewhere gathering supplies. How far do you guys make it? As far as we need to go. We're not tying man. Hear me out. He's not.

Hear me out. You not that you guys don't have the willpower to make it, but as far as resources available, there's no more gas. Like, that's it. Gas is gone. Okay. Now what?

I'd kill somebody for it. You walk. You walk, okay. So now you made it. You walk. You walk, okay. So now you made it to fucking Montana. You're out of gas. And where are you walking to? I have a Tesla, dude. I'm good.

Charge it. That's my point. I'm good. He's an idiot. I think I'll make it work. I'll figure it out. I'll walk wherever I need to go. I could jog for fucking 24 hours if i

wanted to i 100 could and you know zombies okay think about it you could set up a tent wherever because what kind of zombies opening a tent this bears are dense that's a good point bears and bears are smart bears are smarter than zombies way smarter than zombies. You brought up that point. It's a half hour drive to somewhere in the middle of the desert. I chill out for a little bit. That's my point though.

It's like if I make it to Canada that's great. I think we're in a good spot anyways. I think Vegas is big enough to survive a little bit and small enough that you're not going to be overtaken.

Do you guys remember when COVID happened and all the food was gone? Like every time you went shopping? I was never hungry. I was in Puerto Rico. That's my point. And that's with people coming back and filling shit up.

I think I could survive off a lot of things at home for a little while. Get things together, kind of scout around, look around, maybe kill the neighbors. If you start killing neighbors, that's a different thing. That's what I'm saying. I'll do what I have to do to survive. I think I would eat people if I had to. I'm dead serious. I think I could eat people. In my family's food storage, we literally have like four

or five, like five gallon buckets just full of rice. And that's not going... Where is that at? So I'm going to Trey's family, I'm killing them, and I'm moving to Trey's house for a little bit. I was trying to figure it out. Easy wiping Trey's family.

You talked too soon, Bo. I was going to figure out where his family's shit was. You just got to find a Mormon household, and you're fine. That's true. You probably go to any LDS church, and there's probably loads of shit

under the courts. No, I'm not... There's nothing in the church. You're not hiding that, dude. I know it's there. I think my play would be chill out for, like, two weeks. Let everybody kill each other.

Go to the stores. Run it around. Go crazy. I got a good question. I'm chilling out. But two weeks is when you got to go to the stores running around go crazy I got a good question I'm chilling out but two weeks is when you gotta go no because that's when everybody's

gonna be fucking freaking out they're emotional I've got a great question what do you think happens let's say zombie apocalypse happens no rapture happens don't you guys believe in rapture I kind of do

a little bit kind of not is that like a thing I don't know the LDS view on it like not necessarily there's not a rapture in your in your shit well it's a little bit. Is that like a thing? I don't know the LDS view on it. Like, not necessarily. There's not a rapture in your shit?

Well, it's like in the scriptures, but I don't think it's as like, uh, It's kind of like bullshit. What's the word? Not bullshit.

You gotta like buy a ticket for it? More like symbolic and stuff. It's not real. Three day pass? Just more, yeah. Anyways, where are you going with this?

Well, now that it's not a thing that it's not i was gonna say as i say if that like if the fucking zombies start happening and you're like well where's the rapture like take me out of here what does that mean for you oh well we're just prepping to survive for as long as we can and in case you don't make it jesus comes back we're fine the j to survive for as long as we can. In case you don't make it. Once Jesus comes back, we're fine. The Jesus comes back is the rapture.

Jesus always has a plan. He always has a plan. It's like a fall before Jesus comes back. I prepped for the rapture in like 2012. Basically, yeah. Do you remember that? When was it supposed to come? 2012, 2013?

I do. I was in Hawaii. I remember. I prepped for it. And then Sandy Hook happened very, very shortly after. Dude. Talk about Sandy Hook. Why are you laughing? So like I have a lot of friends on the baseball team and they were playing this school

I remember who it was but they're like their shortstop is Sandy Hook survivor and that just like Blew my mind cuz that feels like so long ago. I thought they were like still like 10 years old. That's just something like oh what's a cool fact about you

with Sandy Hook Survivor. That's just something that goes with you. We were in high school when that happened. No. Not high school. I feel like I was

at least a freshman. What year was it? 2012. Yeah then you guys were in high school. That was your freshman year. Yeah that was my freshman year. 2012 to 2013. I was. freshman in high school. What year was it? I think 2012. Yeah, then you guys were in high school. That was your freshman year. Yeah, that was my freshman year. 2012 to 2013?

I was. You guys weren't. You guys weren't. You were eighth grade. I remember it because I was in Hawaii. If the kid was six, 2012, that's 13 years ago. He's 19 now. Dude, that's gross to think about.

I'm fucking 96. Yeah. Literally almost 30. Dude, kids that are like Born in like 2006 Are old as shit That's what I'm saying One of the girls at work That like

Not like talking to But just She told me she was born in 2002 So weird dude Or 2001 You were talking to her about it That's how you know I'm 2000

I'm like what are you 16 She's like I'm 22 I was born in 2000 Oh no Bo's definitely talking to her That's how you know. I'm 2000. I'm like, are you 16? She's like, I'm 22. I was born in 2000. Oh, no. Bo's definitely talking to her. Come on.

I know you need that. He's parenting her. I'm like, I can't do that. 2002? It feels weird. Kids that go to school with her like 2004, 2005. Imagine her 2002 tattoo that she's gonna get where it says 2002 right across her sternum you're like wait what it's just crazy to think that somebody's 22 years

old and they were born in 2002 i've never seen a stomach i think if you're born in 2002 you're you're 15 16 to me yeah that's what i think you're a kid have you guys ever had like a like i don't know how many of you use like tinder and all those dating apps but never you ever had one where like you met up with a girl and she wasn't the age she was or i never met up but i was like catfished for a while i hooked up with the girl at a college party one time she turned out to be younger than me 21 and how old was she? 17. Oof. That's not that bad. Okay, hold on. Hold on. I was 18. I hooked up with a 17-year-old. I've not heard the end of it.

And Bo was 21? I didn't know. How am I supposed to know? I didn't have sex with her. Yeah, Bo didn't have sex with her. I have sex. That's way different. I'd have sex with her until she was 18, though. They kissed a little bit.

I just had no idea. I'm at a college party. It's like a Halloween party, and I meet this girl. I'm like, okay. This is fun. Little did I know, later on in the night, she tells me she's 17. What party and I meet this girl. Okay. This is fun. Little did I know later on the night she tells me she's 17.

What are you doing at this party? Why are you here? It's her fault. Why are you doing that? I suppose it was an idea. It's a college party. You, you knew.

Yeah, you knew. I had no idea. I was at a concert. I didn't do anything after that. Once I found out she was young I was like, dude, what the fuck?

You had the dirtiest sex with her. I never even got to meet her. I didn't meet her, dude. No, but get this. So my friends. Thank you for having my back on that, dude. Thank you. Fuck, dude.

Dude, you're weird. One of my friends, their freshman year of college, so they're living in the dorms. So it's him and three other guys. He matches with this girl on Tinder, has her come over and she's like hanging out just whatever and it was all good they're all kind of hanging out together and and she's like so is is this like a college is are these like dorms and they all could just kind of look at each other oh no wait how old are you she was 16 whose fault is that though in the college the college. It's got to be her. You can't even. If you're telling me you're 19, 20 years old, or I'm just under the, I meet you at a bar.

I don't even think you can sign up for Tinder until you're 18. The girl in Florida. Remember? He was a freshman. Yeah, I do remember that. Yeah. Bo's been a victim multiple times. And they just kicked her out right away. But what are you doing in a bar when you're 19 years old?

Yeah. Well, that's just. That's not my fault. That's all of the bars like where i'm at because they're all college kids right i went with a group of friends and there's some bars that obviously like card like pretty strictly and stuff and i was i was in the back go to those i feel like i was taking well we we went from one to another this night and that one yeah we were i was this was one where you had to wait in line to get in and stuff.

And I'm in the back of, like, the line of my friends. And they started carting everyone. And the first kid definitely saw it was a fake and didn't let him in. Next kid, fake, fake, fake. Literally all of my friends had fakes. And then I was like, well, we're not going in, but here's my ID just so you can see a real one. And he was just like, what are you doing

to hang out with these kids? I was like, I'm two months older than him, dude. I get it. I'm grooming him. I get it. I've always hung out with younger guys. I was like,

Beau got me into my first bar. Yeah. Paid the guy a couple bucks and we got it. That actually what happened? No. I think, probably it isn't a card for shit.

No, your fake ID worked. It scanned, yeah, so that was cool. I waited fucking eight months for it. I was, you know, two months away from 21. Yeah, from some fucking kid in Reno, your ex-girlfriend.

And we got the package from China. Just super late. I wanted to, like, fight him, and, like, other kids had, like, hits out on him. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. He's ugly and fat, so it's whatever. I didn't feel too bad. I remember that.

But, yeah, I waited, like, six months. I ordered it at, like, 20. ugly and fat so it's whatever i didn't feel too bad i remember that but yeah i waited like six months i ordered like 20 i got it maybe three months before i was 21 and i used it twice maybe and then you had to take it from you one of them i got two but yeah i did have a cop take it from me yeah i was caught like on rassell the dirt i used to go there and like read a bible isn't that crazy this guy I've come a long way. Yeah. And pulled me over, or didn't pull me over, stopped, came in, put all of his lights on. He's like, what are you doing here?

I'm like, I'm reading. He's like, oh, yeah, really? He's like, we have people, you know, like do drugs here all the time, whatever, sell them. I'm like, no, like, I'm just hanging out, man. He pulled me out of my car. My Bible's in my front seat. Like, you can go grab it if you want. And so there was good cop, bad cop, and they, like, asked for my ID.

And I'm like, well, my wallet's in my car too. You can go grab it if you want. We had gone to Parkway, like, the week before. So my fake's up front, and my real one's, like, somewhere else in the wallet. And they're, like, going through my wallet. And they're like, why do you have two IDs? I'm like, well, one's fake, dumbass. I got two different names, two different states,

and different ages. You tell me why I have two IDs. And one cop, the good fun cop, is like, I've never had anybody tell me that before. You're not an idiot. I'm not an idiot. What do you want me to do? I got another one at home.

Take that one if you want. And so they're like, yo, I just got the like what do you do like to have this car so young and i'm like well my d says i'm 21 i'm not that young and you know he's laughing whatever and one guy's like that's not funny and i'm like dude tell this guy to let up a little bit we're we're friends here and um oh my god you know i'm in the union whatever doing this and that and he's like why are you out here I'm like well it's dark and quiet like it's it's nice to be out here once in a while you should try it crazy and uh so they just could not believe that I was out there you know past curfew whatever I'm like dude I'm I'm like 19 20 like leave me alone I'm not out past curfew I'm not selling

drugs never smoked weed in my life. Let me go. And one cop is like, so do we give him the fake back? Like, probably fucking around. The guy was like, no, absolutely not. I was like, well, I'll trade you. Like, you can take my real one, and I'll take that one. And the other cop was laughing, and one guy was just like, no, like, you're stupid, you know, whatever.

But I didn't, like, get a ticket or anything, but they did take my fake. And I lost one of them. I still got the other one in a safety deposit box to always have forever. Andrew Fritter was on the ID. Back when we were playing tennis, dude. Oh, man. Last name was Fritter. You might have even taken the picture for me in my garage at my dad's house.

Yeah. Fuck. It's a decent ID san jose california um same birthday but like three years older i think and uh you know it worked when i used it except for that concert that he was like looking like this nope didn't even second any like hotels casinos there yeah and that kid couldn't have been more than 25 years old either. So he must have just been hammered in training to recognize. No. Damn.

No. This is fake. So, well, dude, can you pretend? He's like, no,

sorry. I just had Bo give me drinks anyway. Yeah. I was fucking eight years older than me. So he just got me drunk and horny. And then I left with Bo after the concert. So that's all it was. You guys just stroked each other out.

Yeah. He stroked me. Yeah. I was young. I knew what I was doing. He taught you. Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, fake IDs are cool.

They work. My cousin uses Matt's wife's ID all the time. Beans? She uses Mariah's ID all the time. What? She's 21 now, but she did. He doesn't even look similar. There's a six-inch height difference on the ID. How does this work? People are just stupid. I don't think they look at she did. I'm like, he doesn't even look similar. There's a six inch height difference on the ID.

How does this work? People are just stupid. I don't think they look at the height. I would. I think women also just get more of a pass. Yeah. They can look older, like very easy,

but. Yeah. My, my roommate got his taken away from him and, and it was funny. He got his taken because it was a fake and it was a decent fake, but he asked him what his eye color was, and he got it wrong.

I was like, how do you not know what's on your fake ID? Yeah. I didn't remember my address. How do you know what your eye color is? I was never asked that. Yeah. Yeah, he was kind of a hard ass. Whatever.

All right. Number 46 for you guys. Seven. Seven. Maybe 47. Who knows? What a night, huh? Yeah.

I had fun. This was good for me. It's always fun. It's always fun. Thank you guys for listening. If you're still here and you're into feet specifically, we're going to have something set up. We have such a treat for you.

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