Who Knows? Who Cares. - What's said in Bed, Stays in Bed.

Episode Date: January 3, 2024

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I want to hear something that you've ventured out. I've said stuff in the moment, but I don't entirely have it on hand. You just remember like, whoa, I said that. I was talking crazy. But then you look back and you're like, damn, I said that. I said that. Oh, okay. And then I'll be like, remember that part?

And they're like, yeah, I remember that part. Okay, good. Cool. Cool. Fine. Do you guys think it's funny or weird to talk about this shit that you just did after sex? I think it's funny. I think it's so funny.

And they hate it. It can be funny, but I don't want to ruin it for the next time. Where they second think. Now they're thinking about it. Or they're not going to do it now. It's just like, whatever. Right. I don't want to spoil that.

When she squirts on you, you're not saying, like, ruin you, pee-pee, don't you? Yeah. not gonna do it. I'm just like whatever right? I don't want to spoil that but when she squirts on you Not saying like when you pee pee down That's how you don't shit your pants that you should I'm like, oh like are you wet right now? You know Are, Rosette? Here we go. Are you fully bricked up after kissing? No, you're not. And we're back.

Yeah, we are. And we're back. And we're doing something a little, just little fun because right it's just us three tonight we're down a guy down a guy and we're used to it by now

we're down a boy a boy that's a great not a man yeah very camera boy yeah where's the camera boy that's such a good point dude

so sad we're just blowing up and he just doesn't want to be here I know I'm on call right what does that fucking mean dude

there's a high chance you don't get called out 99.99% right and you can't even fucking mean, dude? There's a high chance you don't get called out. 99.99%. Right, and you can't even go if you're drunk. It's a rule. Everybody knows that. But now we're here. We're going to get Seattle Carter in in a week.

Yeah, we are. Yeah, we are. I'm excited for that. My feet are so hot right now. Are they? Yeah, I had to cool them down. My feet were really hot earlier. They're feeling better now.

One's getting a little chilly for me. One's getting a little chilly for me it's definitely the move though one's getting chilly for me which one oh that one my naked one oh that one do we have a weekly recap um we had one of the i wouldn't almost no i wouldn't say the most unfun but it was close rounds of golf yeah yeah that's my bad I wanted to tell you guys too I really appreciated

you guys just you know just being there for you sticking through it yeah sticking with it I'm really just hoping that like the whole vibe of the day

is why my driver was so awful like I just didn't need to be there kind of thing I really hope that was the case because the week before that I was a awful. Like I just didn't need to be there kind of thing. I really hope that was the case because the week before that I was a different player. Well, I think what also was happening

in your own head was I was smacking the fuck out of the ball. His driver. His driver. Yeah. I was dropping. You were taking all the good swings. You were taking all the good swings out.

No, it didn't matter. You were like, okay, this driver will go that far. The driver can work. I'm going to fucking hit the ball that far. I'm usually consistent like 350-ish. Right, right. I was just on a 400 day. It was just a bad day for me.

I was on a 400 day, but then you were just pulling off on it or whatever it was. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck. I was healing everything. But also, I've had my own bad driver days, so it could have just been one of those, because there was one day me and Bo were golfing, and for whatever reason, I hit the ball left and low fucking 20 times in a row.

Like, let's say out of all 15 playable non-par threes, eight to nine of them were straight lefts. And then two or three of them were fucking far rights. And maybe one or two was just right down the middle. A decent shot. Not even down the middle, but just not fucking on the floor. Bindable. Yeah.

So it could have just been one of those days. That's how our week started. When did we go there? Monday? Monday. We went there on Monday. What was this, Monday? We golfed on Sunday.

We went out. We were hungover, right? Well, that's... So Saturday... When was it Saturday night? Saturday was Christmas party, Lakers game. Oh, my God. We went to the fucking Lakers.

We saw LeBron play, dude. That's right. I have never been more drunk in my life, dude. At the game? The whole time. The whole time. So, like, we got there. We showed up with, like, the Jack and drunk in my life. At the game? The whole time. The whole time. So like we got there. We showed up with like the Jack and Coke in a can.

Some guy almost hit me when we were getting there. Driving? Remember that? Oh, yeah. Like this guy? Like inches. Inches from me. There was so much traffic trying to get there.

For no reason. Like the light turned red and he was turning left. He was probably in line for fucking 20 minutes. I was just like, fuck, I'm going to go. For me, I let two cars go. It was already red for them. And then so I'm'm like going it's been red for a full minute yeah he just hits the fucking gas and i hit my brakes but i can't stop any more than like i wasn't going that much he literally was like this and the car just goes probably right by me in i thought it i thought it hit me just like how close he was i'm like there's no way he's not gonna hit you know

how it looks like the cars on top of your car that's what it looked like how close he was. I'm like, there's no way he's not going to hit me. You know how it looks like the car's on top of your car? That's what it looked like. It was literally like 10 feet. The guy only had about eight feet to go, just in general, like in all moving directions. Right. And he went in that eight feet, 25 miles an hour. Like, whoop.

Yeah. Like right, oh man. But we made it. I almost threw my fucking can, my full can right at the back of his window. I was so pissed. Bo was like, no, it's fine. I was so excited just to get to the game. Bo really doesn't have that much road rage.

I'm the complete opposite. I've been very good at not emotionally reacting to stuff. I've been trying to really put myself like, I don't care. This shit's not going to matter. He hit me, whatever. Cool. I was so hot.

We saw LeBron. Saw LeBron play. We saw AD score 40 points, and it looked like he scored 15. Yeah. It's actually crazy to see in person. No, you just don't even notice. He scored 20 times.

But, no, I remember leaving, and we were walking up the steps. I'm like, where the fuck am I, dude? Yeah, how did we get to this point? Where the fuck? I spilled my drink on somebody. I heard about this. He spilled on his drink. I didn't even notice, really.

He spilled his drink on Jeff Bezos. He was loaded. The guy turned around, because I was cleaning off the seat. I was like, oh, shit, he didn't notice. My fault. And it was on his jacket. He's like, what did he say? Did he ask?

He's like, you couldn't even tell me? You couldn't even tell me? This is a $3,000. This is a $3,000 Dior jacket. Perfect. You can get another one then. And he's like wiping it off and Bo's right behind him

and I'm like, listen, I don't want this to be weird for the rest of the game so I'm like, listen man, I'm so sorry. I didn't even notice

that spilt. That's on me. Is it okay? I was going to do like the dry cleaning. Do you want me to pay for your dry cleaning? I got you.

I was already joking at that point. I'm like, dude, I don't know what's going on. I don't care. Everyone was just dead silent and I know that's the worst

way to go about it. Right. Instead of acknowledging that the person worst way to go about it. Right. Instead of acknowledging that the person... Fucking say something, idiot. Yeah, exactly. So I was like, oh, it's my fault. My bad. It would have been cool if you knew sign language.

You could just act like you're deaf. No, but I was fucking... We were all yelling the whole time. I kept saying, fuck O'Connell or something. Yeah, the one white dude on the court. The one white guy on the court. Everybody got the ball. They loved it. Fuck O'Connell. Everybody around white dude on the court. There's a white guy on the court every time he got the ball. They loved it.

Fuck O'Connell. Everybody around you is like, yeah, fuck that guy. Oh, it was so funny. Sporting events are awesome.

Everybody's so... Dude, that was the night. So we left. We went to your Christmas party, showed up a little late. We got our gifts exchanged. It was a good time.

Two and a half hours, three hours. Drank a little bit and then we went gambling. Against our will, dude, we did not want to go i i talked to shorty i was like dude please say something to where i can't i looked at you and we were both like yo i died we don't want to go i'm like look at him you have the excuse man you have a kid and a girl i'm a little tipsy i'm trying to whisper i'm like hey please don't let me go i was passed out on the couch for like bro i was i know he was awake but he was not there i was done and i was like yo

bo's like that i feel the same way as bo right now i'm gonna go home jimmy drove me home and bo was like i was like there's no way you're going out but even if you are going out i'm not going right i'm going home drake was not able to take any sort of like hints hint at all that we yeah i was like oh man bathroom andrew get up let's go i'm gonna come back and andrew's still laying there like uh he's like oh man i'm i definitely can't drive right now and uh yeah shorty's like i'm not your mom i was like this is the one time you want to be fucking cool right please the one time i don't want you to be cool, and you're going to be cool right now?

Bullshit. So, you know, we're driving, and I call Bo. I'm like, dude. You know we're going to win, though. Neither one of us want to go. We're going to win. So that means we have to win money. We have to go to work.

So we're going. We're walking around. I lose my money on the craps table. It was like the fake one. We're like walking around to go play blackjack. The screen craps. That was actually like cool. It was fun. And the lady, table. It was like the fake one. We're like walking around to go play blackjack. The screen craps. That was actually like cool. It was fun. And the lady, we walked past like three card poker.

She's like, come play, come play, come play. I'm like, I love the energy. And then so I turn to them. Like all the blackjack tables are taken. I'm like, dude, like. This was after Baccarat. Go play poker. They're like, all right, fuck it.

Secondhand, he hits a fucking straight flush. And he has the money on like the side bet thing and we don't if drake wasn't there he would have got paid 100 bucks and we wouldn't even have like oh my god but he hit there's like three different side bets so there's like the screen one and then there's like the table one and he literally hit 750 dollars like in one one thing off of five bucks and so drake is like he's like like 15 total yeah he's like no like it's 40 to 1 here this here this here and she's just like not really knowing drake drake literally goes pit boss over here boss and they're all like looking he's like and they all figured it out and they literally paid him out it was like oh no that that's because it happened after the flop

and drake's like right here on the table after the flop three to one pay this man literally what he said literally yeah like wow i'm just like i'm like i don't know i've never played this game before take all the chips you want to give me right that was a good night dude i forgot about no i had fun we golf sunday and i felt like fucking shit though did you dude i've never you were drinking at the casino i've never drank that much in my life i've never i don't think i've there's ever been a point where i was like i didn't even know where I was. What was drinking beers? I don't want to talk about the comment that I made on here.

But yeah, I don't want to talk about it when we were on the way back. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't bring it up. Yeah. But dude, yeah. I didn't bring it up. I can't, I'll tell you later. Yeah.

Not on the. Right, right, right. Mom might be watching. Yeah, you can't be yourself. I get it. Yeah. No, so that was, I was not a great great weekend there actually had a great weekend that was fun i forgot about that yeah that was all the days are blurring

together right now right yeah how it goes um christmas time any good topics i've got a couple let's hear them um you want to get into the really good one first no well i think so because we're early i feel like that'd be a great. Okay. Okay. You know why? You know what I mean? Like people are still here. Right. The five people watching. 500, I'm sorry.

My question was, what do you guys think is the worst job in the world? I know I've got a couple different routes to go. I was just thinking about the YouTube comment about getting their nut off, and I was thinking about they definitely got their nut off already. Yeah. That guy definitely got his nut off already. Shout out to him, though, man. Right.

Letting us know we're doing good. Worst job in the world. Okay. So what are we talking as far as uh because like hear me out can we do in tiers of like first world second world third world vibes i was thinking more of just i didn't even think of outside of like this country let's talk about just country for now okay first world you're getting paid minimum wage or you're getting paid more money and it's shitty. I've got two routes. I know neither

the wage that you would get paid. I'm thinking Popeye's employee. Popeye's for sure. Not even close to that bad. But their customer service is terrible. Not the owner but just a guy who works hourly for the people who have to like

shovel the shit like septic tanks that clear out septic tanks they probably get paid well though i don't care i don't care about that the job fucking sucks okay you're literally like putting a fucking blender into a poop shit poop bucket and breaking it around and like there's a guy who always does he's like smells like money but it's like he's got to own the company yeah he's that passionate about it i would be you smell that guys if i if i had smells like money like a covid mask on i'd be throwing up into the cove and at least i wouldn't be smelling the poop you know what i mean like right that seems like the worst job to me for that route to me would have

to be like crime scene cleanup like you're you're the guy that shows up and you've got to deal with fucking brains off the floor. Whatever it may be. That seems like a god awful job. I'd rather do brains and poop. I'd rather do brains and poop. But I'd rather do

jobs like that and actually make money. I don't think either one of those jobs pay terribly, but I don't think they're what they should be. What other jobs would suck huge dick, though? I would hate being like a porn filmer. Yeah. Like you're just sitting there.

You're the extra. Yeah, you're just like drooling. But maybe you do get a boner, or not a boner. You always get a boner. I think it'd be kind of fun to watch. Maybe you get like free head every once in a while oh my god camera I've seen a couple of those

come here yeah maybe you get free head every once in a while and they're staged but you do catch jizz here and there right

that would be a little rough especially when you're like getting close to the camera and it's like on your fucking hand and you just have to keep the camera still who cleans up that afterwards crime scene clean up

crime scene after yeah yeah those those are my two when I first thought about this while driving yesterday afterwards. Crime scene cleanup. Yeah. Yeah. Those, those are my two. When I first thought about this while driving yesterday, word crime scene cleanup and porn filmer. Cause you get to like be there.

Not really get the fun out of it. Right. And you might even get the worst, but you're getting the worst part of it. You're like, okay, Hey, we're,

we got everything we needed. Yep. All right, come in. Hey, you got to scrape this baby out of the oven. Oh. You know?

You know what would be a good business we could do too? Yeah, say that. Carpet cleaning. I would do that. No problem. We could start a carpet cleaning company. No problem.

Yeah, we could do that. I don't have any like really bad jobs that I could think of. I just think of like working minimum wage for something that's just really shitty. That sounds terrible to me. I can deal with the shit smell if I'm making $100,000, $200,000 a year. You'd have anything that you're like, fuck, I would absolutely hate to do

that. Any fast food place. I don't want to work for $8.25 an hour to like be customer service and like... It's like $11 now. Fuck that. Yeah, it's way better now. Fuck that. It's $11 now and it's $500,000 to get a 1,200 square foot house. Yeah. There you go.

Literally. There you go. We saw a house today that was for sale for like 490. 490,000 for a 1,900 square foot house. It's like half the size of this one and just in a shithole town. Crazy. Damn. Carter, what's our next topic?

No, I'm trying to think. I kind of like this idea. Let's hear if anyone's watching. What's the worst job you could think of? There's got to be like a really bad job. Or that you have. There's jobs that you can't think of. Yeah.

What's your job? Why do you hate it? Somebody's got a shitty job. What's the worst part about it? Right. Man, I'm trying to think. I think being an EMT is a fucking terrible job. Right.

That is so... Yeah, you do not... You're in charge of people's lives, and you get paid nothing for it. You get paid... I could not believe when they said how much they made. It's like $13 an hour, right? It's fucking crazy.

You're in charge of it. You're the first person that shows up to the scene to make sure somebody is going to live or they say minimum wage, minimum effort. Yeah. So you're getting paid $13. And my, our buddy,

we all know him. Not going to say his name was an EMT. So this guy was throwing a party that he was planning on killing himself at and killing himself at the party. But he had a bunch of people over and then he just got like a fucking knife or like broke a window and got the glass, something like and just starts slashing all over his body his legs are everywhere he's a fucking mess so my our friend comes in as like he's he's like i've never seen so much blood in my life he comes in and he's like it was a staircase like a marble staircase

all the way down from like the very top all the way down and he's like it was a staircase like a marble staircase all the way down from like the very top all the way down and he's like every single drop of his blood was all over the stairs. There was not a single part of the staircase

that was clean. It's like up the walls all the way down like because the cops or whoever was wrestling him down because he was just fucking going everywhere.

He probably did like an announcement at the top of the stairs like hey everybody and then just started fucking going bonkers. And so they have this guy in the EMTs alive. He spilled all that blood.

He's still alive. And he's fucking thrashing around like trying to open up his cuts and shit in the thing. And his like head EMT lady was like fucking god damn it. She gets a fucking vial of ketamine and just stabs him in the neck. God damn it, I gotta do this again. Doesn't even like administer it through a vein,

anything. She fucking jabs him in the neck, does it, and then he just fucking goes out. And I was like, dude, $13 an hour? Yeah,

he's getting $13 an hour. Nah, she's head, she's 15. No, but like, whatever, he's $13 an hour, Yeah, he's getting $13 an hour. Nah, she's head. She's 15. No, but like, whatever. He's $13 an hour. There's blood all over him. The guy pissed himself.

What else? And he was like, what did he say? He told the story like it was just any other day. Just numb to it? No, it wasn't like he's a great storyteller and like oh my god like this just happened building it up

he's like yeah so then the guy fucking we just jabbed him in the neck and I was like what? how many other stories do you have like that?

and then one time we were golfing he's like oh my god one time this dude fucking died right there like at oh right that house like he died at his kitchen table

I was like he's like and he's like okay so what do I use here do I use a fucking 8 iron or like no big deal not even anything

you have to be that way though if you're in one of those jobs isn't that crazy though I think it takes reps to get there you have to be numb to it I don't care who you are

you just see death all day I think the first time you like touch a dead body it's gotta feel crazy and like they have the worst schedule he was graveyard

he was like 12 hour shifts from like fucking 9 p.m to 9 a.m imagine getting home after those shifts and you're like oh my fucking god well people that work shit like that as far as like emt or policing they say that nightlife here in town is something that we would never even think happens. Oh, yeah. It's a whole other world. All the crime and shit that happens is nowhere near what we think.

It's so much worse. So much worse. Yeah. Yeah. That's, like, the thing, too, like, about where we live is, like, it's why it's so, like,

sketchy to get into, like, any kind of fight or anything like that. It's not. It's, like, never worth it because, like, this could be that one of those moments where you end up on a fucking... Like I said, dude,

I feel like we're in a specific genre of the population. We're a high percentage of people that actually like our lives. We have shit to live for. I don't think most people feel the same way that we do. I agree. And I'm not going to fight somebody or do something with somebody that has nothing to lose right that is a terrible a

terrible idea for me and i don't know like if you're gonna pull out something or you're like we're doing something you're gonna fight you probably have nothing going for you right now yeah so whatever happens here it doesn't matter to you and like there's some people who have like really fucking terrible lives yeah like i know what you're saying but i mean like they've all really bad they've already stabbed someone before this is another stabbing to them this isn't like the first stabbing or maybe even the second stabbing maybe they did a stabbing went to jail now i'm good 10 more stabbings and you're just the 11th stat or 12th stabbing i used to be the guy i said oh no i gotta be manly i gotta fucking right now don't talk to me like that.

I don't care. I was walking down an alley in Shorty's place and this guy, I had like fucking a duffel bag and like all my shit in my hands and like a painting or something. I'm like trying to get into the gate

and I see this guy just like slowly walking and like starts like coming this way and I have a knife in my hand. Yeah. Just like always. And I like fucking, I turn around,

I turn around and look at him and then he's like, just like turns back and i i like fucking i turn around i turn around look at him and then he's like just like turns back and starts walking on the other way and i was like man dude like what if i had to fucking kill this guy that's what i'm saying i mean like over what there's nothing in these bags like i don't even have a wallet right yeah you probably had it lost at that point yeah i mean like there's just cards on there but you can't do anything with them. Right. Not you. You don't know how to act that shit.

You know what I mean? Not you, dumbass. Still no jobs, huh, Beau? No. All right.

Beau's worst nightmare is 90% of the population. Right. I don't want that to be me, dude. I'm there with you. I don't want that to be me, dude. I don't want that to be me, man. What was the second topic for tonight? I've got...

This doesn't really apply to Bo because he's unlovable, but... I'm lovable, dude. I'm lovable. Do you think you could blow a wiener better than your current girl? You guys love me. That has nothing to do with love. You don't have a partner, if you will.

That's another thing that's bullshit, dude. Now I'm single, and I have all this free time, and everybody I know has a girl now. It's fucked up. Even your friends from high school? I'm always hanging out with you you're always hanging out but it's like fuck dude

I'm about to be 29 45 5 years ago I'm about to be 45 dude in 2010 and I want to live up my years you guys are selfish man

dude I'm here with you dude I'm ready to do it I'm doing it these aren't even your years anymore man those have gone you're over the hump I sent him this video where it was like, remember the good old days where you had to

golf five days a week? You know like the old dude that's just like kind of crying, but he's not crying. Like, don't talk about that. We're still doing that though. It was like six months ago for me. I mean, I'm glad that you did get it in while you could. Well, now it's like

just doing meth for a couple weeks and have to stop. Like, now I need it all the time. Right. Now I feel like I'm getting so fucked that I can't go golfing five days a week. You did Molly for fucking three and a half months. And just the high. And you're like, oh, my God, this is so fucking amazing. Why can't I go to do this again?

Why would I ever not want to feel like this all the time? Right. What were we saying? Head. Oh, head? so fucking amazing. Why can't I go to do this again? Why would I ever not want to feel like this all the time? Right. What were we saying? Head. Oh, head? Mm-hmm. Than any? I could definitely give head better than some of the girls I've dated.

Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Definitely. 100%. I think I suck penis better than anybody I know. Anybody. Anybody. They pulled some shit out.

No. Dude. Come on. Let's get a banana or something, dude. Show us. I'll pop one of those. They pulled some shit out. No. Dude. Come on. Let's get a banana or something, dude. Show us. I'll pop one of those. Oh, you got a bottle right there. One of those Flint mints.

I'm going to be 100% with you. Mm-hmm. I don't think you can make me cum. Dude. You would bet so quick. I don't think you can make me cum, dude. You wouldn't even have a full load by the time I was done with you. You could probably make me cum, but that's not saying much.

I'd make you both go bonkers. You could just do this to Bo's penis he cum. Yeah, a little blow on it. If you blindfolded me, dude, and I didn't know you were doing it. Oh my God. I'd shave for you. Oh my God.

I think, I don't know, I just, I'm so competitive, you know? Shut up, dude. That's what it is. You sound like a woman. I think that's what it is.

But you had to play the part. I'm so competitive, I just. Especially now that I know. No woman's ever been able to make me cum. I think that's what it is. But you had to play the part. I'm so competitive. I just. Especially now that I know. Yeah, no woman's ever been able to make me feel more. I know what I like. Nah, those people are weird. I hate that so much.

Those people who said they can't come from head. I know. I've just never been able to come from head before. You know what it is though. Shut up, dude. They don't use their hand. It's the hand. Yeah.

That's all it is. You make me. It's not real. Sometimes I'll just get just handed. And. It's the hand. Yeah. That's all it is. You make me. It's not real. Sometimes I'll just get just handed. And. It's nice. I'll literally be like, like, tased. I could have just like, just like this, dude.

That's all I would need. Just that for like a minute. Right now. Right now. But if you were. Maybe a minute. No, for as long as I've been alive. Just that.

That's true. That'd be enough for me. Just that. Just, just a subtle. Just that. Just like, like bumping into someone. On a train. That'd be enough for me. Just that. Just a subtle. Just that. Just like bumping into someone on a train. Your shit still works, huh? It still works, thankfully.

That's crazy. So crazy. Just bumping into someone. If you run into Bo three or four times. Three or four times consistently in the same stroke. In a crowded hallway. Oh, oh, oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Are you guys super loud when you finish no um i have i have stepped into that more i've gotten way more comfortable because you're thinking about it and you're like uh fuck it i'll let some noise out it's just being more like i don't care how i know it's kind of what i think it is is kind of like like of like, like if you could, like if, if you could like, uh, like put an exclamation point on your fucking climax without like any worry of like,

how is this being perceived? You would. Does that make sense? Like if you're home alone and you're just fucking going crazy. fuck. You can totally do that if you wanted to. Yeah. And you're just like, you know what I mean?

But it's also fun to give that communication back and forth. Like, yep. Yes. Yep, that's it. Approves. Yeah. So when you do it by yourself, no one's home, are you like screaming? Like does it help you?

No. Get to that next level no but so i'll get i'll leave out some size here and there you know i'll fucking you were filmed it like just you i have i think it's like are you more vocal on video i have filmed it but yeah because you feel like you have a performance it was like i was uh it was actually facetime and I was like illegal when I was doing that. Oh, shit. I don't think it's illegal if both parties are sub-18.

Is it? No, it is. Is it? Yeah. Really? I should be in jail. Oh, man. And I'm sure somebody

still got them. It might be because I conditioned myself to be quiet because I would always jack off when i was a kid i don't know if that's like your mom's bathroom well no i'm just at home you know what i mean so i'm like even if i was home alone i'd always have the thought in my head what if somebody came home and i didn't know see that would make logan come faster but i'm still not going to be

like oh fuck like i'm not going to let it out i'm not going to be like, oh fuck. Like I'm not going to let it out. I'm not going to be loud. I've definitely done it to like experiment. I remember like trying to see, you know, how I could get from nine to 10 and I've definitely been like, like yelling by myself, like just to, just to try it.

Like, oh fuck. And then I just be like, you know what? That wasn't it. Like I didn't, I didn't add to it. If there was someone

On the receiving end Say a face or something Or an open mouth And they're like Pleading for it Then it Then that plays That would

Pleading for it he says You know what I'm saying I think I think that would Please Logan Please give it to me Something like that Please

Let's say that was happening Hypothetically Let's just that was happening. Let's just say hyperventilating. Hypothetically. And that was getting them off. That would get you off as well. It definitely gets me off when the girl's being vocal.

Not too much though. Not trying, but I can tell. Not too much. This is good. In sound capacity. She's enjoying this. We've talked about that before, how they are fully capable of ruining dirty talk. Oh, yeah. These go too hard.

Well, it's when it's not natural. Yeah. You could tell that they're forcing it out. I don't want that. So it's the same thing with us. I'm porn one time. Let me just say it here. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't like that. I wish there was more guy dirty talk. So you take some notes? I could read. You know what I mean? That sounds good. I'm sure there's a class that you could find. like all of the guy stuff is so basic it's almost like you got to get like fucking dark with it in my opinion that dark with it like you got to like say some like shit

that no one's saying as far as like just to be new like some like like some real shit you have this i want to hear it i feel like you're on like the edge you see like what like yeah like what i want to hear something that you've i you've ventured out in the moment but i don't like entirely have it on on hand you just remember like whoa i said i was talking crazy but like you look back like damn i said that i said that okay and then i'll be like i'm okay remember that part and they're like, damn, I said that. I said that. Oh, okay. And then I'll be like, damn, okay. Remember that part? And they're like, yeah, I remember that part. Okay, good.

Cool. Cool. Fine. Do you think it... Do you guys think it's funny or weird to, like, talk about this shit that you just did after sex? I think it's funny. I like... I think it's so funny.

It's hilarious. And they hate it. It can be funny, but I don't like to... I don't want to ruin it for the next time. Where they second think. Now they're thinking about it. Or they're not going to do it now. Just like, whatever. I don't want to spoil that.

When she squirts on you, you're not saying, remember when you peed on me? Yeah. That would ruin it. Right, right, right. So what I'll do, though, is remember that part? Mm-hmm. That was cool. That like what i'll do though is like remember that part that was cool that's

what i'll say or uh like so remember the part like right before this and right after that is right right in the middle right and then we're like oh yep you hint at it yeah we just like subtly touch it but then it's like yes to to that part. Liked that. Double tap that one right there. Heart. Yeah. Heart. Bookmark that one.

I need to have more sex, man. Yeah. It's okay. You got to be using that thing. No, it's okay. You missed it when we were hooping on Tuesday. I was like squatting like all the way down but with my feet flat.

Like volleyball. Right. Pfeiffer was like, how do you do that? What are you talking about? You just have a little bit of sex here and there and you're good.

And he was like, dude, yeah, you must be fucking crazy because I can't even go to 90 degrees anymore. Did he have back surgery? I don't know. He was saying he had some back surgery.

But no, he was just really impressed with my hips. Shut up. I've always thought I had bad hips, but I guess I don't. Well, you also got to think too, like it's weird to think about. I've never thought about this, but like the way other people may have sex could be a lot different than the way you do. I've never thought about this, but the way other people may have sex

could be a lot different than the way you do. I've thought about that before. I think about it all the time, how awful other people's sex would be. I haven't thought about that. It's not something that's crossed my mind a lot, but now that you say that, I could see him just being the tall, sturdy type

that just kind of lays there. His whole body is in one moment? Yeah, like one flat. There's not a lot of fluidity right no wave to the hips yeah just like you're pushing a board

no finesse he's a workers man there's no finesse he's a workers man he's just swinging he's there to get the job done he's just swinging a hammer he's there to get the job done

we've got a couple of very large friends and I always think about how awful their sex is yeah it's gotta be terrible it's gotta stink I've got a funny story

for you guys after this. Okay. Why not right now? No, it's later. Oh, Bo knows it? No, no, no.

It's just it's for later. Okay. Fair enough. I think it's later. What time is it? I don't know. It's late.

It's not too bad. It's not that bad. Take a guess. If you're within three minutes, we'll gamble. 1024. You get three guesses. 1033. Yo, here we go.

Oh, shit. All right, Texas. Texas Hold'em, here we go. 1 a.m. tomorrow. Logan's got to leave here in four hours. Crazy. So selfish, dude. Crazy. Crazy to me. That's always parents, though. Logan's gotta leave here in four hours crazy so selfish dude crazy

crazy to me that's always parents though parents are always like oh yeah no like my son will take me I get signed up for it all the time

I'm that guy I'm the one that just gets oh yeah Bo will do it yeah same and I hate being a good guy cause I'm just a good guy so I'll do it

but it's like right then I get thrown all the bullshit all the time good guy so I'll do it but it's like right then I get thrown all the bullshit all the time because they know I'll do it it's like are you guys just taking advantage of me

at this point it's me with my fucking grandma dude nobody does anything for her anymore because I just fucking do it yeah it's just annoying

that's both her uncles she's gonna be real sad when I fucking kill myself my uncle listen to this shit dude calls my the shitty uncle no the no leg uncle uncle that you know that lives in colorado the one that fucked up my brother's ah he's not cool

he's cool i like the guy good guy love the guy but he calls my mom so my other uncle so not the vietnam vet my other uncle stays with him the vietnam vet and his leg is fucked too so he has like diabetes do i know this other uncle no you've never met okay he's like a weird my mom and sister don't really feel comfortable going over there because he's just like weird he's a good guy but like he's just weird he's a little off but he doesn't take care of himself at all he's a little younger but he just doesn't do anything like doesn't know how to cook doesn't know how to live like and he he could walk around but he chooses not to basically so he just lives in a wheelchair and so all the doctors out here are telling him hey we need to cut your foot off like we need to cut your leg off from the knee down like it's it's done and so my

uncle calls my mom like hey there's a specialist in utah um can beau take him they said that out there they're like they're specialists so they don't have to cut it off there they could there's something they could do for him and she's asking these questions because i'm sitting there and she's like not giving up the fact that i'm sitting there because she doesn't want to just tell him that i'll do it right so he's like because if you weren't there she would have been like yeah of course he can so she's like well where's the specialist at and he he's like, oh, I don't know where the specialist is at. She's like, well, how did you, like, you know, you have to, like, make an appointment. He's like, well, his caregiver said that in Utah they specialize in it.

Somewhere in Utah. Literally, bro. Had no plan whatsoever. No appointment. Nothing. He just wanted me to drive this man to Utah somewhere in Utah. Doesn't even know where. On the off chance that maybe we'll go out there and they'll say, hey, yeah, nothing. He just wanted me to drive this man to Utah, somewhere in Utah. He doesn't even know where. On the off chance that maybe we'll go out there and they'll say, hey, yeah, no.

We'll cut his foot off for you here. How crazy is this, though? Mine's not that bad. Hey, can you take one of the uncles to Utah? I live with him, but can Bo take him? No, he lives in Colorado. Colorado one. He's like, I can't make it out.

There's a guy in Utah somewhere. Find him. There's a specialist. utah somewhere find him there's a specialist find him and you will see no idea who he is where he is what practice he runs we don't have an appointment we didn't call him ahead of time we didn't figure anything out have a three year wait it's a very if you build it they will come type of task i'm like there's no fucking way you want me to just go drive out here on some and there's no way that if i'm losing a foot and let's just say i have a nephew who would take me to fucking this place i'm not the one like okay if he's here he's here he's here he's here or i'll fly i

literally said like well he could fly out and i'm watching my brother's house right now so i can't even like i have shit that i can't right got to tend to the last remaining chicken. Thank goodness. Oh, but tell that story after. Oh my God. That's another one. But yeah, so I'm like, dude, why can't you fly?

And he's like, that's a really good point. I didn't think about that. Like, but he's so helpless. Right. That I don't think he could even fly on his own. Like old people.

And he's one of those guys that doesn't know how to use a phone. Right. And checks. Would have no idea how to call an Uber or do do anything of the sort and i'm like i feel bad i'm like okay i'll i guess i could do it people like that need to be put down but i'm like there's if you had if you had a plan you're like okay hey this guy in utah we talked to him we have an appointment they said hey we can help you fuck it fine i'll drive this guy six hours and deal with the worst possible six hours of my life trying

to create conversation with this person. You could just play the show in the car. It'd be so bad. Like, okay. Another. Okay. I was, I'm watching my brother's house, which is such bullshit, dude. He fucking calls me or he texts me three days before he's going on a two week vacation.

Had no idea. He's like, Hey, um, can you take me to the airport? Like, no, he texts me three days before he's going on a two-week vacation had no idea he's like hey um can you take me to the airport like no he calls me uh he said like something he needed to talk to me so yeah what's up what's good he's like oh uh we're going out of town for a little bit do you mind like can you watch the house what's a little bit mean 14 days did not tell me i was like yeah no problem like what's up he's like yeah can you just come by on sunday and then i'll like show you because the dogs and the chickens i'm like okay that's fine so i go over and he's like, yeah, no problem. Like, what's up? He's like, yeah, can you just come by on Sunday? And then I'll like show you because the dogs and the chickens. I'm like, okay, that's fine.

So I go over and he's like, well, yeah, we're leaving the airport like six in the morning. Like, I was like, well, I could take you. That's no big deal. And he's like, well, yeah, well, we get back at 1 a.m. on the 16th. Next month. I'm like, that's two weeks. That's a long time. I'm like, oh, so you're i'm like oh so you're gonna

be gone to this yeah he's like yeah we come back on the 16th i was like what are we talking about you have two dogs you have eight chickens like a whole house to tend to and i'm like okay okay i guess like three days before he obviously had told his girl that like he had it all planned out right yeah don't worry bo bo will do it already agreed he worry. Bo already agreed. He'll take care of it. Because she's probably freaking out. Hey, we're going to be gone for two weeks. Who's going to watch these fucking chickens? We have two dogs.

We have eight chickens. We have a lot going on. We need somebody to make sure that this is going to be okay. So whatever. So I find myself in another one of these situations because I'm a good guy, dude. The good guy. I'm a good guy. Right, right, right.

And I care about my family and the people. You know, okay. Whatever. So I'm feeding the dogs. Everything's going good. The chickens are all good. a good guy right right and i care about my family and the people you know okay so whatever so i'm feeding the dogs everything's going good the chickens are all good he called me one day he's like hey are the chickens all still there like one of the neighbors said that some chickens got out like i go like oh the chickens are there we're good someone else's chickens someone else's chickens that got out i go the next day and there's a dead chicken. Like one dead chicken. It was like eating like pretty bad.

I'm like, oh shit. Like, I don't know. I call my dude. One of the chickens is dead. He's like, oh. One of them went rogue and ate the other one. No. So he's like, there's most likely like a cat or a coyote out.

Like, so keep the dogs outside to protect the chickens and take out the coop. So that way they can run and get away if they need to right no problem i go back the next day there's five fucking dead chickens in the yard and the one dog is fucking ripping one's dress i was like oh my god dude i felt so bad because I walk in the house, the dogs don't even know I'm there. And I just see one just fucking tearing one apart. And I'm like, I took a picture and I said it to her like, yo, it was the dogs. The whole time.

The whole time. He's like, no, the dogs wouldn't do that. When the first shake, I'm like, I don't know if Callie. Because Callie's like the pit bull, like crazy fucking dog. And the other one's like a coyote. Oh my god. She looks like a coyote. And I'm like, I don't know if she got. She's like, no bull, like crazy fucking dog. And the other one's like a coyote. Oh, my God. Literally looks like a coyote. And I'm like, I don't know if she got, she's like, no, the dogs wouldn't do that.

Like, I know, do they have blood in their mouths? I'm like, no, they didn't have any blood in their mouths. I didn't see. She's like, no, it's got to be that. So I literally let the dogs out, made them stay outside. And I get back and they're just fucking, oh, dude, it was a mess. It was a fucking mess. So you did crime scene cleanup.

How was that? It was so bad. It was so bad. He had, like, one pair of gloves. It was, like, one glove, so then I had to, like, use some dish gloves, and I'm picking up these dead chickens, and they're, like, way heavier

than you would think a dead chicken would be, and I'm, like, trying to get in this garbage bag. Damn, you took a garbage bag out full of dead chickens. Where am I going to put it? I don't know. I feel bad though because I missed trash day. Oh, God. So it's just been sitting in the garbage can for like a week, dude.

Those got to stink. That's the least they could do for being gone for a little bit. You've been back since. There's one chicken left. Poor fucking guy. So the dogs ate seven chickens? Yeah. And I don't know.

So there's, there was eight. I've only thrown away five chickens. I don't know where the other two are. There was one. It's not funny. It's so funny. It is so funny.

There was one where I was like, there was just feathers. Like there was literally just feathers. I'm like, I don't know. So there's six. What the fuck happened? There's six. Let's say the dog ate a whole chicken.

Everything. Well, I guess the dogs would eat twice a day. I've only been feeding them once a day. I just feed them more. They said, it's fine. You can feed them once a day. They're on a raw diet, right? They're on a raw food diet.

Right. So they're fucking pounding those chickens, dude. They're actually on a raw food diet. Yeah. They order pounding those chickens dude actually actually on a raw food diet yeah like there's like they order these blocks they're pound blocks of raw food so i take two out of the freezer every night put them in the fridge they defrost and i like break like it's just like ground beef yeah basically and then they eat they bro they fucking eat that shit in 10 seconds literally a pound of meat he's gonna get enough huh yeah they wanted the real shit yeah so i think that's what it was because they were like three of them three of the chickens were like

eaten like they were bad to the bone yeah like it was like the head and then just the bones and like a little bit of meat left and i'm just the crazy part is too if there was something else out there the dogs would have gotten that thing oh yeah so it's the dogs yeah it was the dogs i felt so bad the first time i picked up the first dead chicken and all seven chickens were just looking at me like you did this like like dude i swear like they knew what was going on and i'm just sitting there with the fucking the first time i didn't grab a glove i just grabbed some paper towels and i grabbed it threw it in a bag and they're just like holy shit and then later the next day they're just there's one there was

one chicken left and that dude was so i bet he was just like dude i saw him pick his head out when i showed up and he was just like look at him i'm so sorry man like i don't know what to tell you dude it's just you it's just you we also learned that pecking order is from chickens you know what do you know what that do you know what pecking order means? Like obviously like in, I'm not going to assume it's like almost like an eating order. Yeah, because they eat like this. So they like,

they peck at their food, their little seeds, but there's an alpha. So there's an alpha out of the chicken. So I was feeding them. Oh, I didn't know that. It was so,

it was so nice. I would show up, all eight chickens would look at me and they like run up to me. Excited. And they're like, oh, we're going to get fed. And then I'd feed some of them like, like I'd have a little scoop so like the alpha i'd put it like i put in

the thing and he would just fucking make every chicken move like he'd like bite at him and fucking it it's like a known thing like okay that's the fucking chicken that's the guy and he eats he eats first and some of the like chickens would try to squeeze in and like get a little bite he just fucking get the fuck out of my food so then i would you know i'd have a little scooper and i'd feed the little ones on the side. Out of your hand. So happy.

Nah, I just let them. And they just peck at the like little seeds. They like would all run up to me. I'm like, oh shit. Okay, cool. When he called them, he's like, oh fuck, which one died? He literally, the first one, he's like, which one was it? I was like, was it, he was like, was it the gray one or was it the red one?

It was the red one. The alpha's gone, isn't it? Yeah. Now the alpha's gone. R.I.P was a red one. The alpha's gone, isn't it? Yeah. Now the alpha's gone. All right, pee, dude. It's the little baby one that survived. Why? Because he never left the coop.

He was just like... He probably wasn't worth the hassle of the dogs breaking through the chicken fence to go eat it. No, the first day I fucking went to feed the chickens, so there's like a little fencing around. Fucking Callie, the big pit bull bull literally i'm like feeding the chickens she like runs up there's like a little like walkway up so the chicken coop is like right here and there's like a little walkway up she just fucking jumps over into the chicken coop they all go

fucking nuts and i'm like yo get the fuck i'm like trying to get her out and like so she gets like kind of spooked by me trying to get her out and she just like jumps straight into the fence and breaks the fence the first day. Breaks the fence in half. I'm like, God damn it, dude. So my brother's like, no, it's fine. You can let him out. Does your brother have a camera in the backyard?

I don't know, dude. Oh, I would kill for that footage. With the dogs just going to fucking town on the chickens. I just feel so bad. I was like, it's not my fault, but it's like... And I'm allergic to his dog. Never been... It's been a shitty time. I've never been allergic to a dog in my life. it's like and I'm allergic to his dog never been it's been a shitty time I've never been allergic to a dog in my life it's got to be something in the yard but

the first time I went over and she's like has no sense of like where like she jumps all over you so I'm just like breaking out in hives fucking itching myself like what the fuck is going on and the first day I left I was just like hives everywhere all up the arm so I'm like I told him I was gonna stay at the house but I'm like I can't stay here yeah i can't do that it's just been it's been a tough time i wonder what the other chickens were doing watching the dogs like eat the first one then the second one or the fourth and the fifth like all the other chickens are just like oh fuck yeah who's going next i think as soon as they found out that that one chicken tasted good they're like oh it's free game now oh, it's free game now. Oh, fuck.

It's free game. That's so funny. Yeah, it was tough. There you have it. RIP to those guys. Yeah. That's my favorite story ever. That's so funny.

You did a great job telling it, too. You did a really good job telling it. It just really hurt my feelings. I am the type of person where now I feel like I'm responsible. Like it's my fault that all those chickens are dead. But in reality, it's your fucking fault for leaving for two weeks. You have chickens and you have-

Not for leaving, but for telling you to leave the dogs out. Yeah. I mean, you should know, you know, your better judgment. I thought it was, immediately thought it was the dog. Let the killer dogs, they eat raw chicken every day. Yeah. Out into the chicken was the dog. Let the killer dogs eat raw chicken every day out into the chicken pen. Does he have cameras do you think in his backyard? He would

be the guy to. I think he does. Yeah I think he does. He needs to pull that shit No he definitely does because he sent me a text he said I don't think it was a dog. No he said I don't think it was a dog because I saw Callie whimpering with like one of the chickens next to it. Like she was sad.

I was like, okay. Sad because she had a food. Yeah. Who knows, man. Fuck, it's gone already. Who knows, man. Bo's feeding me once a day. I'm used to two.

She stepped on the beak of it. Yeah. Poked him in the foot. No, like I said, I showed up. Curved up in. I'm telling you that dog was just going to town on this chicken. I'm like, okay, okay yeah it's the dogs

like a toy it was the dogs just ripping it just ripping I just saw feathers coming out you think if you didn't show up

that last chicken's a goner yeah 100% was it just the pit bull or no it was Luna right both of them I'm sure oh they were both just eating them

I'm sure I'm sure once they're the type where it's like dude I'll like gang mentality sitting here on the couch and I'm like trying to give them attention but I'm itchy like the one I'm sure once they're the type where it's like, dude, I'll like sitting here on the couch and I'm like trying to give them attention. But I'm itchy like the one I'm allergic to. So I'm like trying to keep them down.

So I'm like, okay, I get them settled down. They're like both right here. And then one like puts his head up on my leg. And the other one's like, wait, no. Me? Now I'm putting my head up on your leg. And then they're like, okay, now I'm on your lap. And this one's like in my face like, dude, can you guys fucking relax?

I'm petting both of you at the same time. It's not enough. It's not enough. It's never enough for them. So I'm sure one of them ate one chicken. They're like, wait a sec. No. I get one.

I raise you two chickens. Literally what happened. They just kill all the chickens, man. I saw this video once. These German shepherds catching a chicken in a yard. Like one grabs like the back butt of it and the other one

grabs the front of it. Just rip it in half. Rip it right in half and just walk away together if they both have half a chicken. I would kill to see that footage. That would be...

Oh, ask my brother if he has any footage because they definitely... I wouldn't see it bad. How great would it be though if it was like a coyote? No's no way because i like i said i would wager a lot of money on that callie she's a fucking menace kill that dog she would kill a coyote in a second it wouldn't be a chance yeah yeah coyotes are small yeah coyotes are not big

there's no way in the cat he thought it it was a cat. They're like pinky size. He's like, is it like ripped up a little bit? I'm like, yeah. He's like, oh, it's probably like a cat. Just a little bit. Like, all right. He's like, no, it was not, man. No, it wasn't. Chickens aren't that expensive, though.

And a cat would also take it with him. Yeah. Live and you learn, man. You live and you learn. He does have three missing. It's true two missing oh are you counting that just feathers one a body just okay then you picked up five carcasses yeah okay so no one missing there's one left there's eight eight total okay so i was counting the feathers one as a missing

body i picked up five chickens total Four chickens fit in one trash bag. Damn, those are big chickens. Yeah. I thought you were going to have all of them. With room to spare? No. It was full. It was full.

But to stop them down, the bag. The last one I had to kind of like push in and then I tied it up. Oh, man. That's not at all what I thought. That bag's going to smell so terrible. I thought a bag of chickens would be just like the bottom. Like half a bag at most.

These are some gigantic chickens. A lot of body in there. Because the legs, it's just like, it's like, they're probably all stiff. They don't fit solidly. Does he just use them for eggs?

Yeah. He doesn't eat any of them though? No. you yeah right dogs are gonna do that for you yeah yeah there's a new alpha though yeah there's the only one no that man is i have him locked up he can't get out he has a decent amount of room but he doesn't want to come out i'm sure yeah he's yeah grateful i haven't seen him i know he's, but he doesn't want to come out, I'm sure. Yeah, he's grateful. I haven't seen him. I know he's there, but I don't want to scare him. I don't want to let him get in. Hey, it's your time, buddy. Because he's probably just living

in fight or flight the whole time. You're like the Grim Reaper to that poor chicken, dude. You show up and bad things fucking happen. One goes missing one at a time. I bet as soon as he sees Billy turns his head And he's like I can hear him in there

But I don't want to scare him So I just like I put the food in I put the water in And I'm like dude I'm not gonna like I'm not gonna bother you man I haven't seen him in four days though

Jesus I haven't seen him Poor chickens man Yeah It's okay though I think we call it on that right Yeah That's great

That's a good one I just want to give a shout out to the dude who's trying to take us golfing on the east coast we're ready book it we'll go

and if you guys want to like we need a donations thing yeah we need to get this camera yeah for sure time to fix out sure I'm excited