Wonderful! - Ep. 61: The Yurt Locker

Episode Date: March 7, 2017

Boy howdy, our bodies are simply no longer capable of consuming three hours of this television show in one sitting. Like, our nervous system violently rejects exposure to that much unfiltered Bachelor. Still, we weathered the storm to bring you this sleepy, penultimate episode of Nick's season! MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Maybe you should go and do some contemplating. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. I'm the best rat and I'm rapping to your poolside. Here to find true love, one man for my whole life. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hi, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is Rose Buddies.

This is a podcast in which... All right, let me give you sort of the elevator pitch. That's what we say in this entertainment industry we call the entertainment industry. People smooch on TV and sometimes they make love and we get to watch. Welcome to The Bachelor. At no point in your pitch did you say what... Rose Buddies is? Yeah.

I realize that now. So you get to watch us watch people make love. It's like... No watching. No, you don't watch us. You listen to us watch people make love, and we describe the faces we make during that process. And boy, did we watch people make love,

sort of metaphorically speaking. We watched them sort of... Essentially, we watched them clean sort of the love slime off themselves after an evening of just filming that yurt up with they stank, you know? Do you want to hop right into what you call those yurts? So I was enticed by how many yurts

these people made love in, in this episode of The Bachelor, because we are in Finland, and Finland is known to have a yurt from time to time. Another thing I discovered, I love reindeer. We talked about reindeer for a long time. I think they're great. They're just like big dogs.

They got the fuzziest faces. They got fuzzy faces, and they got the temperament of dogs, but the body of a deer. I love all of it. But there's so many yurts, and they had sex in all of them, and so I had to decide.

It was crass. It's hard to start off the top of the show with it's hard it's challenging because i call them squirt yurts and it's not good like i recognize it's not a good thing to say out loud and it's sometimes one that was one i was trying to be shocking to you you know i wrote it down to make sure you did write it down to make sure we said squirt yurt on the air well there it is everybody i'm not perfect okay squirt yurt uh actually this is a great transition so if you'll remember last week our big cliffhanger was will ray again fucking believe this televised tv show raven who has never had an orgasm from intercourse with a man yes will she have an orgasm with nick and the climax of that cliffhanger uh is kind of cheesy it's like it shows them like um snuggling and she's like got a robe wrapped around her and it's playing that boom boom boom boom music god that

was a really good impression of the song that played and that song may as well be titled she didn't have an orgasm like it's like uh-oh something went wrong uh-oh something's kind of hinky here they twist it on you then they twist it on you because she revealed she said she said quote it was good to be alone physically with him and i don't want to and then say too much but and then he's really good at what he does so i'm feeling pretty satisfied this morning. And then it fucking may as well, like, wake me up before you go, go, like, fucking montage of Raven frolicking through the snow. And I saw some people, the group was very hit or miss on this. There are a lot of people who thought that was gross. I don't get how you see this as anything other than, like, fucking, y'all gotta give it, you gotta give them something.

She's, like like skipping through the snow and like high-fiving reindeer it's so fucking goofy and funny and like very raven i didn't think there was anything gross about it at all like no i feel like this is a good litmus test of whether or not you'd like bachelor in paradise because this is exactly what bachelor in paradise is yeah exactly and it was also like it's a it's a it's a pretty wild turnaround from how up until a couple seasons ago i really think it was caitlin season um the fantasy suite was treated as this thing where like you either pretended like they didn't actually have sex in there or they would show like splorch noises in the captions and then never talk about it again and so it was just like teasing it but it was taboo that like it was taboo

that any sex was going on in a fantasy suite it used to be very it used to be very like downton abbey like yeah maybe we see one shoe by the door which is what we get and that's how we get fucking gross shit like the back half of caitlin's whole season which was just you had sex with nick before the fantasy suites you made love on this show how dare you which is such a like revisionist history piece of bullshit of like everybody fucks on this show like well the final three do probably most of the time um and so it's wild that there is this this montage this admittedly goofy edited for humor montage featuring who is essentially i love raven to pieces the comic relief of the remaining that there's this montage, this admittedly goofy edited for humor montage, featuring, who is essentially, I love Raven to pieces, the comic relief of the remaining contestants,

of just like, yeah, we had sex and he got me off. What's up? Like, that's a pretty fucking major turnaround from what this show has done. And I can't see it as anything but like a positive thing. Yeah, I mean, I think what's what's always nice about these little montages they put together is you can tell they're done with the contestants consent yes whereas most of the time you think you're seeing something that's been edited kind of against their wishes there's no way that this was there's no way they were like hey raven go frolic through the snow what are you guys gonna use this for don't worry about it we're definitely

not gonna like go make some snow angels yeah go high five that reindeer you're not gonna make it Hey, Raven, go frolic through the snow. What are you guys going to use this for? Don't worry about it. We're definitely not going to, like... Go make some snow angels. Yeah. Go high-five that reindeer. You're not going to make it look like I had an orgasm, did you? No, no, no. Don't worry about it. She knew.

She knew what was going on. We should also mention a caveat. We should have done this at the top of the show. We were recording this after the first hour of this three-hour fucking parade of nightmares that they are trying to put us through today yeah we decided to watch the traditional episode record and then go back and watch woman tell all which this devil's trade-off of one hour one week and three the next is just unsustainable do you think you could do zero hours three weeks in a row and then eight fucking hours in one, like, nonstop rock block? It starts at 2 p.m.

I mean, I would. You'd have to come home from work early, and then we would have a 2 p.m. to 10 p.m. fucking, just like, nightmare block. I love this show, but we go to bed at 10 p.m. ABC. Well, at least I do. Yeah, I stay up until midnight and play Zelda. I thought this was good i loved this this was one of my highlights of the season so it's a bummer to see people in the group just be like i was bummed out by this because like i really don't think there's anything i don't think there's

anything nasty about this at all i think it depends on your context because it it does kind of seem like you're trivializing that it seems to be kind of an upsetting thing. And now we're just going to pretend like Nick got it in one. Yeah. Pretend being the operative work there. Yeah. I don't know. I just like,

for me, it was like a big, it was a, it was kind of an important, like importance, not the right word. I don't want to call this an important moment, but like,

it's just striking to me that this show used to treat sex as this taboo fucking like look at the sex now look over here look over here no they're not having sex don't worry about it this is abc we're owned by disney to like yeah i had an orgasm and now i'm gonna go fucking like prancing in the snow yeah no i thought it was fun i'm just saying like i i can see both sides okay uh next date yes please next date is rachel. And they are going to start their date cross-country skiing, which looks almost impossible. Oh, God. I can't down-country ski. Like, I'm bad at skiing.

I try to do the pizza wedge. I get people like, do the pizza wedge, do the pizza wedge. I'm like, I'm doing the fucking pizza wedge. I'm fucking falling down on the blue circle garbage bullshit. And, like, six-year-olds are like doing wild stunts over me and i'm just a pile of garbage on the floor this is like that but you don't even have gravity's help to help you ski you know what i mean yeah it looks like you're literally dragging your feet it's like having six foot long feet it has to be exhausting on those

calf muscles those poor calf muscles uh rachel did not do so great with it and i don't think nick was trying to act a big game i don't know better yeah he did he seems to be able to move faster well it's probably the type of thing that you need some fucking lessons to do yeah it's hard yeah it looks very hard i don't want to do it at the top of my date what are we doing after this like i hope it's just sitting down can we just sit down for the remainder of the day yeah no this this is not um this is not like sitting around in a bar or playing darts like raven's date yeah oh see how we get so jealous you made me exercise and you got to drink weird green fucking ecto cooler what was

that a lot of discussion in the group last week they raven and nick drank a bright green a lot of people like it's probably absinthe or chartreuse and it's like that it was a fucking mug it was the goblet of fire what do you that it can't be absinthe that would kill you uh somebody also said maybe an appletini in a beer stein fucking beer stein maybe um so after the cross-country skiing they go to a um a lapland safari which has reindeer which is where we got super hype about reindeer guys oh the fuzziest faces they got really fuzzy faces and their antlers are like... Their antlers are fuzzy. Their antlers are fuzzy.

It's like God was just like making them and was just like, no, why should we stop here with the fuzz? Keep it going. You know, I love it. They're not too big. You know, they're not moose big. You see a moose and it's like, a moose could fuck me up. A reindeer I can just like kind of hang out with and have a good time.

Pet their little noses. Pet their nose, pet their fucking antlers. It's fuzzy all over on these guy on these sons of guns and then they go into um like a shack that has a fire in it yeah also kind of a yurt and then they drink hot beverages around the fire now that's my speed drinking hot beverages sitting down reindeer adjacent now we're now we're speaking my language what do you think these hot drinks were i i don't know probably hot ecto cooler like i don't know what they're i don't know what they party on up here and are they in finland yeah okay i get my i get my scandinavian countries all kind of higgledy piggledy which i realize i'm sorry i'm i've lived

in america my whole life um i do want to go there, though. Holy shit, it looks so nice. And you're kind of proud to be an American? Oh, please, no. Get ready, guys. This little teaser for what's to come. Somebody said that sentence out loud, and I said, boy, fucking howdy, this is going to be a good episode of Rose Buddies. They gave us a lot to work with this week, huh?

they gave us a lot to work with this week huh um yeah they go into this this this uh fire having small cabin which kind of freaked me out a little yeah it was like a wooden shack that was on fire yeah and what followed was a conversation in which rachel had given like a behind the scenes interview talking about how she was ready to say i love you to him um and nick was also ready to hear it because holy fucking shit does he say some stuff well he really get her to say those words yeah he really teases it out of her because she talks about how she's afraid of rejection and that's her number one fear and how how she's scared. And Nick says that he's scared. And then she says she's scared. And he says, well, I'm scared. And then he says, I'm scared.

And it's like, I think they may be scared here. Yeah, he says like, oh, it's important for you to have the strength to be a bit of a mess. And then... Which is the most condescending thing you can say. No, and then he says, if you were to check your ego at the door what would your heart say that's that's like that's not how that sentence works it's also not like those two nick has a few conversations this episode where it's like he's stringing together a sentence out of like four conversations that he's just like kind of chopping and screwing a little bit.

And this, this, this was one of them in that, like, if you could leave your ego at the door, what would your heart say? Doesn't make sense. Those two thoughts don't like combine together,

but also you don't say check your ego at the door in like, there's not a nice, that's kind of a shitty thing to say to somebody. Check your fucking, you can't actually, you can't say it without adding fucking in it somewhere it somewhere check your fucking ego at the door rachel and tell me you love me please yeah how does her ego keep her from saying that she loves you on this what are you talking about yeah it it made it sound like oh the only reason you could possibly be holding back is because you're just you know you're too proud yeah so check your

fucking ego at the door don't you come in here so hoity toity tell me you love me which she does what's your heart say which she does and she like she says well i would say that i'm falling in love with you and then kind of like gets all giddy um he says something back but we also i think we skipped the pretty bogota thing yeah uh he he responds and says i'm 100 falling for you too raven or raven rachel sorry they both start with ray i'm 100 falling for you too rachel which is like wow yeah when fucking van Vanessa said this, he said, not that he said,

I've fucked a lot of women on this show. Basically I fallen in love with a lot of women and proposed twice and gone on many dates and have been successful romantically with so many women on this TV show alone. So if I were to ever say what you just said, I would want to be absolutely sure that I was a hundred percent committed to it. Whereas with Rachel, he just kind of lets let's

fly let's her fly yeah which again do want to stress this we know they ain't getting married like we know she's gonna be the next bachelorette so at some point in this process it's gonna break down and this is the only person that he's given this like validation to yeah it's completely inscrutable so let's back up a little bit let's back up because we almost skipped a bad bad thing he says yeah so the the conversation we're referencing actually happened later in the date but before that when they were still in the the fire shack um so rachel was talking to nick about how um there's there's allusion to the weird volleyball date that we know is super edited. Yeah.

He says you kind of lost your mind after that day, which I guess maybe she was a little. I don't know what the word I'm looking for here, but it was not very self self-assured after that day, like needed some like assurance from him. after that date like needed some like assurance from him well and and the the rumor out on the internet via reality steve is that rachel and vanessa had some kind of fight on that date that they didn't air and so i'm guessing that's what he's referencing that there was some kind of issue that would make a lot of sense wouldn't it like it would describe they shot that whole thing with that narrative thread and then had to erase that narrative thread when they realized that one of these women was going to be in the final two and one of these women was going to be the next bachelorette yeah and that didn't leave them with much footage like

that makes a lot of sense yeah although i don't really see a downside to bringing drama to either of those women i do i think i think this show is so ass backwards that they think like... They have to do the fairy princess thing where she doesn't have any flaws. Well, do the wifey thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Because the fights, fights are for... Korn's the one who fights. She's the fighting one. Nobody else in the house can have a fight because Korn is the fighting one with Taylor? Taylor? Yeah. Okay, Taylor. Anyway, so Nick is talking about how he actually appreciates

when she is vulnerable in moments like that and kind of reveals insecurity. And Rachel responds and says, oh, that's really rare that you're that way. That's a really unique trait. And Nick says, I might be white, but I'm still a minority. Which Rachel kind of giggles about. Because what else do you do? What are you talking? Where does this rate with ben higgins i'm

not that white how does that's exactly what i thought when when he said it i was like this is his ben higgins yeah of course he thought that because this is fucking white dude saying like well i'm okay i might be white but nope not a good there's not a good uh there's there's not a good end to that sentence at all i'm afraid i'm not that white i'm still a minority because you what because like sometimes your partners are can be hard-headed and you know he's saying that he is is such a diamond in the rough like such a diamond in the rough, like such a, such a incredible man, uh, that he is in the minority.

Oh, buddy. That's, that's why I interpreted it. when we were like, you know, this show handled a few conversations about race, and I think it did so,

you know, fair to, fair to well. And then to follow it up with this stinkeroo, boy, howdy, that was rough. Mm-hmm.

Um, but, the love confession, it was so fucking forced y'all like nick would not stop like so uh anything you want to say check your fucking ego at the door and tell me those sweet words those three words i need so bad and then and then it happened and it was actually pretty cute which i don't i don't want to think it was cute but it was really cute damn it uh so unlike raven's date where they go to like a separate little fantasy suite with um nick and rachel they've already taken a sleigh ride to this little spot where they're having drinks and so when it comes time to open the card, they get a key. Same key, by the way. Same key. Yeah.

And they literally just walk upstairs. To the sex room? There's like a bedroom upstairs from where they are immediately sitting. And I don't know what they use the key for. I think I told... Griffin made a joke about... I think he swallows it and then they make a game out of getting it out. You know what I mean?

Like a fun party game. Just like getting it out of there. Or maybe the key is to the drawer with all the fun... With all the KY jelly. All the fun things. The fun things. Like what, babe? Like the plastic gloves they put on oh boy wow you went

very okay to for hygienic purposes yeah look kind of part in the curtain for our own sort of bedroom festivities for the people but um um and and and and then there's another drawer oh shit in that drawer what's in that one in the smaller drawer it's smaller okay so i was worried about the size of it but now you've told me it's like a series of nesting drawers and in the smaller drawer okay so sort of a national treasure like puzzle situation like a like a babushka doll okay what's in the smaller fuck drawer tell me now please in the smaller drawer is a smaller key and then the smaller key unlocks the contraption that nick wears whoa to keep his his um you're making a motion with your hand that the audience can't see, but I'm very intrigued by it. To keep his package contained.

Zing. Like a cage. Yeah. Cage-free Nick. Loving it. So that got pretty crazy. Yeah. Anyway, they spent the night together.

Yeah, they had a romantic evening together and then the next day um she's wearing little penguin pjs and he makes her eggs um and they seem they seem very in love so frustrating they seem so in love they really do because you know they're not going to end up together yeah this was like you you mentioned that this was like kind of hard to watch because it was like a breakup train just like fucking very slowly rolling into the station yeah i felt like i was like on like a vigilant breakup watch it was like at any time it could happen it's like last five years like you know this thing ain't gonna work out last five years yeah that movie the play the musical and the movie that had anna kendrick in it it's about these two it's about a couple and they have broken up and they start their stories on opposite ends of the relationship and meet in the middle but the

whole time you know that they're broken up like the lake house god you reference that fucking movie in every conversation we have about romantic movies and i love you so much for it it's my favorite thing about you our time traveler's wife is another one you pull that one out too sliding doors sliding doors is another one that you love to mention. No, see, I got that from you. You say Sliding Doors all the time. I do say Sliding Doors all the time, but I don't say it as much as you say Lake House, which is in most conversations we have about anything at all. At our two-month doctor's appointment for our baby, they were like, oh.

I did not mention the Lake House. How's his mobility doing in his legs? They're like, well, it's basically like the Lake House, the movie with Keanu. And Sandra Bullock. And Sandy B is in it too. Have you seen the Lake House? Yeah. Okay. legs you're like well it's basically like the lake house the movie with gianu and sandra bullock and sandy b is in it too have you seen the lake house yeah okay have you in theaters step to this okay i didn't see it in theaters yeah i didn't think so it's a fucking combination it's undeniable it's my speed lovers and they're in a romance movie speed lovers they're lovers in speed i know i know

okay vanessa can you do me a favor before can you check your ego at the door stepping to me about seeing lake house in theaters i saw a lot of junky shit in theaters crazy beautiful saw that in theaters that's it that's the only movie i've seen in theaters it's crazy beautiful with kirsten dunst it was okay can we talk about vanessa's date yeah we sure blew through rachel's thing but i guess we're talking about an hour of tv so yeah uh vanessa's date um nick talks about to us the viewers that uh hometown's got kind of serious and things tend to get kind of serious with vanessa so he hopes they can just have fun together and their fun date is that they are going to get in swimsuits and run back

and forth between ice cold water and a sauna so they're going to hop in the freezing cold water themselves like this is this would hurt very badly i feel like and then run into the sauna and then run back into the freezing cold water and then run back into the sauna over and over again i like have expected them to like get out of the water the first time, and, like, Nick would have, like, four toes across his two feet. Like, this seemed brutal, man. This doesn't seem—it was funny to watch. It was kind of fun because Nick was talking such a big game before.

Like, we really need to appreciate this. Nick's complete collapse was amazing. We really need to spend, like, ten seconds in the ice water just to, like, really, really embrace the opportunity. And Vanessa's really kind of squeamish about it. And then it does a total flip as soon as they get in. There's some phenomenon, and I don't know if it's that I expect that she's going to win, that makes me not like think about Vanessa fondly very much. But then every time she's on screen, I'm like,

oh yeah, Vanessa's fucking great. Vanessa's really good. She was so funny in forcing him to get in the water and stay in the water. And they would run and jump in, and she'd be like, one Mississippi, two Mississippi, no, fuck this, get out. Well, the problem is we keep seeing footage of her

crying to the camera about how uncertain and insecure she is yeah that's a good point and so we don't get to actually appreciate what makes her i i don't know likable i didn't see this i saw some people in the group say that they felt like she was getting a villain edit here at the back end i don't think that's it i really i really truly believe vanessa is still gonna win um especially now that we know who the final two is gonna be like i think vanessa is going to win and for another reason that we're gonna get to here in a second and i feel like um in the final few episodes of this show invariably there is a tonal shift with whoever the winner is to cast doubt on their certain victory yeah and it's a cheap it's a cheap and completely like

transparent tactic to try to build drama but like they've done it no joke at probably every season that i've been watching the show say for ben flogenix which came out of left field yeah i was trying to remember a specific season because this is a tone that happens a lot where they did it with whitney and chris souls yeah yeah where they start talking seriously about the logistics of them being together that's the other thing and it seems it seems like some of the passion is gone because they're having these very practical conversations but what they're doing is actually like yeah this is us in the end so let's talk about this now that's the big thing is like you can talk to rachel and be like i've wanted for so long to tell you this but i'm 100 falling for you and you can talk to Rachel and be like I've wanted for so long to tell you this but I'm 100% falling for you

and you can talk to Raven and be like I'm sorry that your ex-boyfriend didn't give you an orgasm let's get in there into the yurt and just like go wild let me get out my sex gloves but as soon as you're like you want me to go to lunch with your family every weekend

that is the relationship that's like how long a drive is it from uh from from your apartment to your parents house are we gonna have to make that drive every sunday that's the fucking conversation where it's like okay you're making plans so that's i i don't see how she isn't the winner just based on how previous seasons have like treated those sorts of conversation. Yeah. It's weird because Nick almost seems to kind of pick a fight with her.

Like after they've done this icy hot challenge, they go into a hot tub and Nick is like, your family's pretty traditional. And I'm not at all, which doesn't, they say the word traditional 80 times. Yeah. He says that about 79 of those times

and it's like what do you talk what do you and she gets kind of defensive it's just they have lots of traditions and my family and she's like your family came up with their own traditions why are we having this conversation uh and and she's he's like do you think we do uh sunday with your lunch with your family every time she's like yeah that's something I'm not willing to compromise it's one of my core values it's like my family is really important to me and he says

you have things in your life that you're not willing to compromise on hmm interesting what the fuck dog

yeah this is when he starts his like maybe we're too similar do you think we're too similar which doesn't make any sense it's a complete fucking pivot like I don't know that I want to...

Your family's traditional and mine isn't. And I feel like I'm going to have some friction going to your fucking lunch every Sunday, too. I feel like we're so similar and that might be a problem for us. Well, Griffin, it's because they both have core values. And that's rare. So stupid. Yeah, he seems to be like, look at you feeling so strongly about family. That is something that reminds me of me.

But I have another core value that has nothing to do with family. But it was just like, it was another one of those conversations that was just like, he was just sort of swinging from vine to vine. And the vines didn't make any fucking sense when held up next to each other. And it was just, oh, your family's so traditional huh wow you uh sure are you have things in your life core values that you're not willing to change for me but i feel like we're so similar those are three completely distinct thoughts yeah that's why we griffin and i are both getting this kind of foregone conclusion vibe of like they're not even trying to like learn about each other anymore yeah it's just kind of like oh this is how it is with us as a couple it's not uncommon for the bachelor or the bachelorette to have conversations with multiple

people about the logistics of moving to their city whether they're willing to move whether you're expecting me to move to where you live in your city. But I think like when it causes friction, it's because the bachelor or bachelorette is actually thinking about it, is actually starting to think like, what if I moved to Canada? And this leads us to just the fucking Nick's bon mot of the evening. Well, his second bon mot behind, I may be white, but I'm still a minority.

Yeah. So the evening part Well, his second Beaumont behind, I may be white, but I'm still a minority. Yeah. So the evening part of the date, they're in another kind of yurt blanket situation. And they're back on the traditional talk about how traditional her family is. And it's like, I like it. I like that your family is traditional. It's like new and I'd love to experience it. No, dog. That's not what it sounded like in the hot tub, bud.

And then she's like, well, you know, my mom and I were talking. I actually know that came later. So she's like, well, maybe we should talk about moving. Would you consider moving to Canada? And Nick says, well, it's not really easy for me to picture moving to Canada. And Vanessa says, well, why? And he says, not to sound corny, but I'm kind of proud to be an American. And then a little tiny American flag pops out of his nose.

It's a urethra. And it waves. It's cool. I don't know. And it waves. It's, it's cool. I don't know, like cool. He lights some sparklers. With his, with his,

yeah, with his special apparatus that Rachel described earlier. It's just like. He plays some, some banjo. This, that statement.

Hits a baseball into the stadium. Into a grilled cheese sandwich. It's just like, the grilled cheese a grilled cheese sandwich it's just like the grilled cheese sandwich just explodes it's just that there's that statement has nothing to do with the conversation we're having it's very important to me that we continue to live in in where she live she's in montreal montreal it's important to me that we live in montreal it's where my family is my family is really important to me and like i can't imagine my life without

um you know having lunch with my family every sunday well i'm proud to be an american so i think actually we've gotta yeah he tries to hedge a little bit but like whoa but you know i mean i don't know maybe i mean because you know like like i'll do a lot of things for love and she says well i'm proud to be a canadian and he's like i like I know I know I'm not saying you aren't okay everything you're saying now is bad and wrong it was it would have been

what would have been better is if he was like I don't know does Canada have Dancing with the Stars because that is my next next plan he is right they announced that this past okay who gives a shit that fucking mike fleiss dude was like another historic announcement on par with the one that we made last time no dude it's not it's super not and then all that shit came out

about how caitlin was supposed to be on dancing with the stars but apparently the producers of the show like forbade her from doing so boy this show's fucking yucky sometimes man um i forget what i was talking about oh it's just like you're i have a lot of national pride so unfortunately we're doing my one it's like the most whack shit you can possibly say and they peeled it back enough to so that in the last scene when they're having this conversation in the hot tub it really seemed like they were having an actual conversation about when i get engaged to you after you win this tv show uh where are we gonna live and for him to fucking pull that line out in what seemed like an actual conversation about this was like boy howdy it was pretty cringeworthy sorry but like if you and i if you're like i want to move back to st louis

and i'd be like sorry proud texan over here that's that's uh that's no good that's not a good argument for this situation no because it's like assuming my pride is actually going to outweigh whatever whatever your feeling is also you're getting a fucking ticket to canada that you can use to at least ride this thing out for four years what the fuck is wrong with you not jumping on that real fast yes please well plus he's i mean you can tell he loves a sweater you know he loves to wear a sweater goodness sweater he looks good in some cable knit hats i don't know you're a fool nicholas if you don't get up there this is the best you've looked here in finland i had that thought a little bit of that really some of that

boyish curly hair poking out of a cable knit hat like yeah that's a good fucking look you got tired of the deep v's you will never get tired of the deep v's it's just like a difference it's like a different spice you know um and they hook up whatever well we should bring up the point that since everybody else is talking about love for some reason there's this arc again where vanessa has to say she loves him again she's like i i'm i've decided tonight's gonna say it's be the night where i say i love you did she say i'm falling in love with you is are we really on that level of fucking high school romance yeah i don't know she's already said it i don't know why they made her like do this big thing where she says it again i just can't with that distinction anymore i've said i'm falling in love with you well now the

act is completed congratulations you've been upgraded to our fucking platinum membership i will say he does the exact same thing with vanessa that he does with rachel where when the card arrives of course the woman reads it because for some reason the like guest always has to read it and then as soon as they finish reading it nick goes um thoughts do you think they make the guest read it because otherwise the bachelor could just be making shit up just like he pulls out any card that he bought it like a like a gas station it's like dear um vanessa please go with nick to the fantasy suite and just hog his brains out should you choose to forgo your individual room you will have to do mouth stuff do mouth stuff at least love chris hair love chris har. I don't know.

Weird, but that's what the card says. Anyway, oh, it's in the fire. Anyway. And we get another one of those next morning, messy hair, wrapped in blankets. Which, I had a thought. Can I tell you my thought? Yes. A cameraman just doesn't hang out in the room and turn his camera on in the morning at some point.

At some point, camera operators and a producer come into their room like, Knock, knock. Hey, you guys up? All right, we're just going to set up and shoot you right now. So, get in a sex position is definitely a conversation that happens. And that thought made me wildly uncomfortable. Yeah yeah like maybe they'd already gotten dressed it is yeah and then there's like a no you're gonna need to take that off and get it back in bed it's so easy to suspend your disbelief like watching this show during transitions like that but like and this is another thing and i don't want to sound like an asshole but like that making the

tv show kind of ruined for me is that i know they have to set these shots up and it takes an hour to do it it takes a really long time to set it up and get all the lighting right and like get them in makeup and then lay them down in the bed again like they've just like post-coital bond movie scene like yeah and i have to imagine like because we see different types of things like sometimes the bachelor or bachelorette and their guest will be in robes, drinking coffee. Sometimes they'll be in bed, half-dressed. I have to imagine that people kind of set the terms when the camera crew arrives. Yeah. Like, what are you comfortable doing?

Yeah. It's just that thought of just like, hey, they didn't just kick the door in and start filming fucking like guerrilla documentary style. This is a shot they had to set up. Get a little bit neuter, please. I think it'd be funny. You know what would be really funny? As if they like have thrown their clothes like all over the light fixtures and stuff. And the next morning they like take the clothes down and it's like, oh,

how did this giraffe get in here? And then there's like a weird, like, you know, like they, they play it up to be extra wacky, kind of like, like,

you know, like what crazy stuff happened in here? Because there's a hippo. What? Kind of like The Hangover, the movie The Hangover, where there's like a tiger. Which one's that? There's like a tiger in there or something. There's a movie about a tiger?

It's Life of Pi is what you're thinking of. Yeah, that must be it. I'm sorry to just let you just kind of ride that one out by yourself. I thought we would have like a fun improv together. I didn't know what you were doing with yeah that must be i'm sorry to just let you just kind of ride that one out by yourself we would have like a fun improv together what you're doing with that improv though i was confused by it the idea is that you can stage it however you want to stage it when the camera crew arrives so you could set up a really kind of wacky suggestive scenario for the viewers i remember now maybe you just dumped a bunch of oil cans all over the place And just covered the room in just crude oil

Yeah, and like you've All the sheets have been lit on fire Yeah, alright, I get you now It's fun to make pretend When you use your imagination Anything's possible If you'd been with me from the beginning This would be a very funny thing i'm with you babe um can we get to the rose ceremony please i'm so excited that

we get to talk about a fucking rose ceremony on this podcast there is a rose ceremony i wasn't sure there was going to be one uh the women are dressed very fancily yes rachel's get rachel's outfits have been like fire this whole time i'm still thinking about that skirt when you pointed it out that had the shorts underneath it. A lot of people in the Facebook group have bought that skirt. It's wild. I don't understand how I've never had this ability when some sort of garment is on a TV show. And people are like, where can I find that skirt? And people are like, within 10 minutes, like, I found it.

How do you find? Do you just google like skirt with the shorts in it and it's split i don't know but you know who does it is a charlene in her recap blog charlene yeah charlene's got a finger on she's a fashionista man i miss charlene you know me too uh okay so everyone's dressed in these like really nice, elegant floor length gowns. And Chris Harrison is there talking to Nick outside of the cabin and it's very cold. And then Nick starts his little speech and he's already kind of emotional, you know, thanking the women for being there and how much he cares about them. The first rose goes to raven

and then that means that vanessa and rachel are standing there and i told rachel like if if vanessa doesn't get this rose like i have no idea what this season is going for i would have been into it but if rachel who we know does not win i guess made it into the final two like my mind would have been completely shattered. So Vanessa gets the rose, which means Rachel is going home, which is very emotional to watch. I was like, this is going to be really hard to watch, despite the fact that I knew for the past, what, three weeks now that she wasn't going to win?

Yeah. It was still like, oh man, I really don't want to watch these two say goodbye to each other. Yeah, she tells him that she's glad that he knew how she felt about him. And he says that she's one of the most incredible women he's ever met. And that he doesn't want this to be goodbye forever, because that's too hard to think about right now. And then he sends her home in the limo.

That's it. That's it. That's it. It was tough to watch. And then we get into the women tell all. It was a bummer to watch Rachel go home. She did so fucking good on this. Yeah, I hope they find some good dudes for her. I hope they find some good dudes.

That's what it comes down to now. I mean, I also hope they don't make her boring. Because I have been excited. I was excited about Andy. I was excited about Caitlin. And in both of those situations, like the Bachelorette was just kind of a boring foil for like all the wacky z really good at commentary, like show commentary, and he definitely was. But we didn't realize with show commentary, you have to reveal how you're feeling about people, and Nick is not allowed to do that at all. And so he became very bland very quickly. So hopefully that won't happen to Rachel. But yeah, let's, you know what we should do now. Hey, Griffin.

Yes. Can I steal you away? Okay. That one was a little funky. It's not over. Every 10th episode of Home Improvement, they put that one on there. Or there's like an aftershock. And they just make you look at the title card for like 15 seconds.

So anyway, we got sponsors this week who paid us money to talk about their stuff. Do you have it? I just, I'm the only one that has it open, huh? Well, I want you to actually talk about this first one because uh it's try the world yeah who offer healthy snacks and they sent a lot of rachel friendly stuff yeah okay this is a snack delivery service uh and what makes it kind of unique is that the the snacks they provide are super super healthy uh and from all over the world yeah so uh i got really excited about it because there's a lot of like coconut kind of snacks and fruity snacks and vegetable snacks I feel very bad

because we get a few like food delivery services and like all of them are soy and dairy rich I would say rich in soy and dairy yeah like the dairy dairy soy bombs that I get from the soy dairy company and you can't party on any of that. And like pretty much the whole box they sent was all Rachel approved. And I actually got jealous.

I don't want to eat your, like the only food that is in the house that you are able to eat without Henry getting sick. But some of them are really good. I definitely ate a lot of them.

So Try the World brings you five all natural healthy snacks from five different countries. Uh, so if you want to check this out, go to try the world.com and get $10 off your next box of healthy snacks with code Rose buddies. That's us. That's us.

You know what they said at the top? They said, hello, we are very excited to be working with you. We love the uniqueness of your voice. Ooh. I mean, they probably say that to be working with you. We love the uniqueness of your voice. Ooh. I mean, they probably say that to everybody. They're talking about you, right? You have such a good radio voice. I can't believe this is the first radio thing you did.

Did you do a radio show or anything like that growing up, like in college or anything like that? Nope. It bums me out that you didn't have a college radio show. I know. I'm sorry. You would have done so good. I would have tuned into that. Well, no, because college radio is like, uh, so yeah.

That's not true. I had a college radio is like uh so yeah that's not true i had a college radio show and it was it was uh that was death cab for cutie okay uh all the college radio i listened to was well you listened to snooty college radio you didn't listen to my awesome 1 a.m to 5 a.m college where you're like hello this is uh here let me have that because i want to talk about blue apron i don't need the phone to talk about blue apron but i want to know what the recipes are to talk about uh rachel and i've been using blue apron for a long time they are a friend of our whole family of podcasts uh and what they do is for 10 bucks per person per meal they send you a box with pre-portioned ingredients to make uh seasonal great tasting meals uh some upcoming

recipes include salmon piccata with orzo and broccoli pork chops and miso butter with bok choy and marinated apple vegetable chili and baked sweet potatoes with crispy tortilla strips spicy shrimp coconut curry with cabbage and rice um we've been doing this for what like eight or nine months now and like i've learned how to cook using this and have made like the top 10 best things i've ever cooked in my life have all been blue apron meals basically um yeah the like the meat and produce like all the ingredients are really high quality like a lot better often than you'd find in a grocery store, which is nice. And the recipes are really great, too. Really, really flavorful.

And it's not like there's no shortcuts. It's not like, mix the meat paste with the sauce goo. Yeah, you're not rehydrating shrimp. It's all up to you. So you do kind of have to learn how to cook a little bit to make these meals the like the best that they can be and it's like it's fun it's really really really fun um so anyway i want to tell you how to get the the best blue apron offer that you can get as soon as my fucking iphone 6 unlocks here we go uh you can check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free with free shipping by going to blueapron.com slash rose um go check

it out you're really you're really gonna have a lot of fun we tell like all of our friends to go do it and like i do not feel like a gross shill evangelizing as much as we do for this product because it really has like changed my life maybe great let's say maybe you're bringing a fancy date back to your house and you want to cook a meal for them before you watch The Bachelor, this would be a way for you to make a real fancy meal without having to go out and find all sorts of ingredients you're not familiar with. Now we're talking. Because they'll already be in a box for you.

Maybe they'll let you take them to the squirt yard. Is that in the copy? That's what it says. Blue Apron, take them to the squirt yard. I have a Jumbotron here. Can I read it? Yes. It's for Presley, and it's from Meredith, who says, copy that's what it says blue apron take him to the squirt yard i have a jumbotron here can i read it yes it's for presley and it's from meredith who says my sweet baby brother i love you even more than you hate me for convincing you to watch the bachelor that sounds about right uh thank you

griffin and rachel for helping me initiate my brother as a member of bachelor nation love your big sis meredith p.s you are the slytherin not me oh it can get tricky doesn't it what do you think you are because there's a right answer i definitely know what house you belong to uh i i have no idea but you've told me before that i'm ravenclaw right bums me out that we've had this conversation before but well there were some people in the facebook group that were determining our houses for us you You're definitely Ravenclaw. A lot of people say Gryffindors because it's right in there. Yo, Hufflepuff for life, if you don't think I'm going to be, like,

getting smoked out, like, nonstop with my buddies and, like, not taking shit serious, but I show up in a pinch and cut that snake's fucking head off with the magic blade, you do not know me at all. Can I read the next Jumbotron? Please do. Here, I've got it loaded up for you. Thank you. This message is for Megan.

This is from Lars. Megan, I could not ask for a more wonderful partner to live life with. I knew we were soulmates when you took my family history to evaluate my genetic fitness on our second date. genetic fitness on our second date. Ten years, two kids, and several zags later, I am still totally in love with you, Lars. Lars. That's a good message.

Also, that is some good shrewd business practice you've got there. I love that. I wish... We haven't done that with each other. We don't know what our genetics are going to be like. What if they line up our double helixes and it's just a frowny face i mean we have a baby so we're gonna we're gonna see a little bit he's a real cute baby very cute he's got very dry skin though damn it it's that it's our genetics damn it um lars and megan have two kids so they probably they probably

have a good sense too yeah um thank you very much much for letting us be the arbiters of that sweet love message. If you want to get a Jumbotron, you can go to MaximumFun.org. We are already booked into June right now. So if you're looking for some summertime messages, it's a good time to get in there. Hey, babe, do you know what's coming up? Ooh, MaxFunDrive. It's the MaxFun you know what's coming up oh max fun drive it's the max fun drive it's coming up really really soon so this is our first uh max fun drive being a member of the maximum fun family and we're very very excited about it um so the max fun drive is coming up and

we're working hard on some of the best episodes of the year you can tune in during the drive to catch these extra awesome episodes and hear about the exclusive thank you gifts we have in store for new and upgrading members they are seriously amazing plus it's your chance to help support rose buddies and help us reach our highest goal ever 10 000 new and upgrading max fun members that's across all of the shows and that is like more than we've ever shot for before and hey you know what we have 10 000 facebook friends hey what's up every single one of you know what we have 10 000 facebook friends hey what's up every single one of you chips in we're good uh so the 2017 max fun drive kicks off march 20th and it runs for just two weeks visit maximumfund.org for details and don't miss it

the the maximum drive is really um it's important to us because we are supported in a major way by the podcasts that we do and it has turned into a career and the reason why we are able to do the things that we do like a fucking tv show like all the live shows that we do like launching rose buddies um is because of the support that we get and like the the the financial support that we get from from y'all every um max fun drive and can i say the best part yeah please uh the best part as a donor is you get access to special bonus content. Don't give away. Don't give away.

I won't say what we're working on, but it will be worth it. There's a machinations a foot that I am extremely excited about. So yeah, we know it's not everybody's thing, right? Like if, if pledge drives on the radio,

bum you out or whatever, like I don't, whatever, fast forward through the spots, but otherwise we're gonna um probably put out some longer length episodes and we're gonna have that bonus episode ready for you and there will be gifts for everybody who's a member of the family but mostly like you get to take ownership of of this thing and help support us make this thing that we love so very very very much so we're looking forward to it march 20th it kicks it kicks off, runs two weeks. And again, the bonus episode is going to knock both your butt cheeks

right off your body. You're going to be fucking sick. Let's go watch the rest of this garbage show and get back into it. This TV show can chomp my gooch. So we just watched the women tell all. And it was a fine women tell all. As fine as they can fucking be, I guess.

Oh, they're so bad. Literally the last thing we heard is Chris Harrison say, Join us next week for our three-hour finale. You're going to take another trio of my hours two weeks in a row, huh? Because it's like bedtime. It's like way past bedtime. And we have to do this. And we have to do this podcast more.

Love this podcast. Love this audience. Love this TV show. Don't love doing it when it's in in the sleeping hours and the baby's sleeping hours let's just burn through the women tell all because nothing of substance really happened the whole time yeah um they make a lot of corinne of course um there's a lot of fucking make corinne great again and make america corinne again hats and there's also a lovely audience member in a shark costume that's good shit it's the one that we own now we're gonna have to figure out some way to put it to good use um i did see some the only corinne piece of merchandise that i saw in the audience that i actually really dug was

uh a shirt that somebody was wearing that said emotional intelligence is my jam, which is actually a pretty fun quote. Yeah. Um, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, um they they made a thing out of like how she has has faced sort of um a lot of judgment and you know i guess social media shit after being on the show and having it revealed that like her and nick had hooked up before which like maybe this is so idealistic of me but like i can't believe that anybody like was upset by. She says she's from small town Nebraska. Okay. From what it sounds like, she's from a community where they didn't appreciate... That she had had sex before. Literally, that's all it boils down to.

Regardless of that she was on the show with the guy that she had hooked up with before, the thing was that she had hooked up before, and that was what, like, said everybody. I'm not doubting that it happened. I'm not, like, doubting that she's faced that judgment. It's just, like, crazy to me that, like, I don't know. And the thing, the women kind of rushed to her defense because she'd been kind of funneled into this one-note character. Yeah, I mean, that's the nature of the beast.

Like, she didn't have any defining traits other than the fact that she had had sex with this guy at a wedding right i'm so sorry everybody that was unprofessional of me um everybody this was the first thing that we've got and i've talked about this so much during this season and that like these women just love the shit out of each other these women are like with a couple of exceptions these women are just crazy about each other and so when liz is up there and talking about how it's been difficult since she's been off the show um like everybody ran to her aid and was like listen all everybody saw that uh i think it was hayley who said uh everybody saw liz and saw that she was this woman who had had sex with nick before but like we saw her as this woman who goes and you know digs digs wells in in in other countries and like is this great humanitarian

and it was a really sweet moment like every time that anybody would like come to the defense of whoever was in the hot seat like pretty much every woman would be like yep yep like cheering yeah liz liz speaks specifically to the the relationship she formed and said that she's drawn a lot of strength from them. So that was nice to hear. It drives me fucking crazy. I will say this every episode. It drives me crazy that we did not get to see those relationships build outside of, like,

the goofy-ass, like, end-of-episode bloopers. Well, I mean, do you want three hours every week? I don't want three hours every week. I want fucking two minutes every week of just like people being friends and hanging out in the house and getting to be buddies with each other. Yeah, I want that. Absolutely, I want that. Take fucking six of the hours that you dedicated to Korn and Taylor and give it to that.

That would be ideal. Are you counting the hour they put in tonight? Because they definitely put like an hour into that drama. Hey, folks, straight up. This is Griffin and Rachel speaking. We fast forwarded through a lot of that. Sorry, but you didn't make us care the first time around. So I very much doubted you were going to make us care the second go again.

Yeah, there's a lot of time spent on like, will they apologize to each other? Will they bury the hatchet uh no no they won't i still stand by like whatever both of them did gross stuff but like i still stand by the fact that like taylor did definitely use her like education and her like knowledge of the of things that corinne didn't know about to like make her seem small on a television show and like that fucking sucks yeah I was telling Griffin it was frustrating to me because there are definitely a lot of behaviors that Corinne demonstrated that you could complain about yes and for some reason Taylor seemed to focus on aspects of Corinne that were just really petty. And so it made Taylor look bad.

And it didn't allow anyone to really get to the issue that I think a lot of them had with Corinne, which was, you know, fair. But yeah, then we get to spend more time with Corinne. And Corinne gives a really kind of noble explanation of her relationship with Raquel. Yeah, so she explains her mom had ovarian cancer and was like dying. And so they were like making preparations for her mother's death. And in that time, they moved to Florida and Raquel moved with them just to like be with be with their their family as they went through this really tough thing. And she says, and this is something we've actually struggled with in in talking about raquel and so it was kind of um surprising to me that like corn had a a way of addressing it where she said that

she uses the word nanny as a shorthand because to her raquel is this genuinely very important person in her her life who it sounds like actually helped her get through some some really tough stuff and it's been an important member of her family unit um and so it would be kind of unthinkable to call her like a housekeeper or a cleaning lady and so she uses nanny the word nanny just because she doesn't want to be disrespectful or diminishing of how important a person she is in in her life which is like, I've been waiting on this explanation literally the entire season. Yeah. And I guess I'm glad that we got it.

It was, it was nice. But let's not forget that this woman still makes her bed. Yes. Well, let's also not forget that this show used this woman as a prop to make this woman's entitlement really shine through. And so, yes, I don't know that it was a sum positive, but I don't know. a prop to like make this woman's entitlement really shine through. Um, and so,

yes, I don't know that it was a, some positive, but like, I don't know. I feel like that was a nice, a nice thing. And then I feel like it got back into Taylor and Korn. Honestly,

just like in this conflict between Taylor and Korn, Korn was the one who came out looking like more mature and in the whole thing, which is just like wild to me. Cause Corinne made the point and it's pretty true true. Corinne was never really on the attack. Except for when this completely manufactured drama between her and Taylor started up. Yeah. Yeah, she never said anything really. She said stuff kind of dismissive about the other women, but she was never hateful, really,

until she felt attacked yeah mostly she just like took naps and just like uh rented a bouncy castle and like kind of tried to recreate that one scene from varsity blues and yeah that's really it and she makes the point it's like every every villain worth their salt makes this point of like i'm here to get the bachelor or bachelorette's attention and you all are focused on me so don't do that if you're really here for nick then you'll be here for nick and then and that's such a fucking salient detail because guess what raven and vanessa didn't get bogged down in that shit and here they are top two and then corinne gives everybody cheese pasta yeah which is a nice moment it doesn't look very good i'm sorry

yeah it just looks like pasta with shredded cheese on it that's literally all it looks like gang um but you did make the point there's a moment i want to see this somebody please do a screen i hate asking this of you to like go back and re-watch this um three hours of quagmire that we just uh waded through all together but there's a shot of fucking taylor holding this bowl of cheesy pasta like not looking like she's into it and that is my fucking mood board right now uh and then we spend some more time with christina yeah not not really much new here yeah she kind of retells her story because it's so powerful like even hearing it again it's still emotional i'll be honest i got

a little uncomfortable with how much prodding there was by chris harrison to be like but here in america it's so fucking great right yeah a truly american story and like i it is a powerful story but like i don't know it got maybe just my fucking metric is very finely tuned these days but it just felt very like, um, well, we just heard Chris say, or not Chris,

we just heard Nick say, I'm proud to be in America. Maybe, but it just hit me. It was just like, isn't it just so fucking great to be here? Thanks. Thank you.

Yeah. Aren't you so lucky? Aren't you so lucky to be? And like, you know, I, based on her, her story,

it sounds like she is, but there was just a lot of like, ain't it grand ain't she a grand old flag uh this does give liz an opportunity to kind of call the women out for bickering about naps uh when there are women like christina who are like so um mature and strong and she tells all the women that they should be building each other up and check their privilege. The fact that they are all sitting on a fucking sound stage right now having arguments about naps

I do want to circle back one thing about Taylor Korn. It was a really great moment they were, there was so much arguing about fucking naps, it was so stupid. Like you love naps no you're the biggest nap person you're well you're the one who took naps all the time taylor you took naps all the time during one of these arguments and there were several um one of the women in the back row chimed up and said taylor you literally have a shirt that said nap what does it say nap queen

nap queen on it and taylor was like oh um it was like this fucking. Well, I like naps. Yeah. I can't. But it was this fucking Phoenix, right? Like, I have a piece of evidence here that's really going to shut this down. You have a shirt that says you love naps on it. So what's up now? Okay, fine, Bachelor. You got me to talk about fucking Taylor and Korn once. Yeah.

With interest. Fine. You did it. And then they bring Nick out. I love Christina, by the way. I really hope she gets in BIP. I really do. I almost don't want her to be disgraced with BIP.

BIP can be gross. BIP can be gross, but like, I don't know, I think she would do really well. All these women are such good buddies. They'd have such a good time together. I want all the women in this season of BIP to just be from this season. I can't, you know?

That'd be pretty good. That'd be pretty good. And Charlene can come back too. Charlene would never do Bip. Yeah, I know. Okay, Nick comes out. Hi, Nick. And Nick's like, it's my first tell-all, which is remarkable because

he's been on three seasons of this show. Chris dunks on him, and Chris is like, yeah, it's because you keep being the runner up. And Nick is like, wow, thanks. He's like, yeah, you keep getting your heart torn out right there at the very end. So you don't have to come to this one. I think these two are really good buddies. And I wish I knew more about their friendship. Because they've fucking been professional colleagues now for like three years.

Yeah, I know. They've done a lot of work together. And a lot of travel, too. A lot of travel. So Nick has the opportunity to kind of compliment some of the ladies. He talks about how one of the things he really respected about Corinne was that she was always taking risks. He talks about Christina and how much he respects her and how hard it was to send her home. And then Christina kind of says,

well, what was I missing then? You know, didn't we have all these great things? And then this is when Nick starts giving agency to his heart again and says, well, something in my heart said that something wasn't there. That's this dude's go-to move.

It wasn't me. It was the heart. I can tell you right now, I think you're great. But my heart, my heart's somewhere else. But in his defense, and I'm not going to step to his defense very much at all for the remainder of the season, but like, what do you say? Like, you told me in the one room that you thought you would love to meet my family and that we had a really special connection. Yeah, I said that to eight people that night. Like, I'm sorry that you weren't the one that it stuck to.

But like, I said that I want to meet your family to eight different people. And so, and I could only take six. So I'm sorry that it wasn't you. It was just like, I'm dating eight other, like, I'm dating other people. I'm sorry. No, and he does say that.

But the thing that he also says that kind of starts to annoy me is right after Christina, Danielle L says, like, why'd you take me on that two on one, it made me feel like I didn't deliver something you were looking for. I wish you just would have sent me home. And he's like, Listen, I know what it's like. Like, I've, I've been there at the end on two seasons. Yeah. You know, like, of course, you want to get sent home. You don't want to be dragged along to the end. And this is when I started to be like, okay, Nick, we get it. You have experience.

But that doesn't mean that these women aren't allowed to tell you anything. Yeah, that's your fault that this has happened to you. It's your fault that you're sitting here now after doing this a few times. Like, it's almost like so he doesn't have to hear their concerns he just has to be like okay yeah yeah no i know i've as you'll recall i've also been on the show but i also think in his mind he thinks he has had the worst experience of anybody who has ever been on this show no matter what because he got jilted at the altar two times and the and and that's that's that's unthinkable nobody's been had it harder than me because i got dumped twice in the final

two can you believe it runner up two times so anyway i know that i destroyed your heart um in saint thomas but uh i got i got dumped two times so what's up yeah so i i don't know i i didn't find him particularly enjoyable he seemed very like political while he was on the show like he's he's like thank you for telling me your concerns i appreciate hearing them and it just felt gross to me he's he is um i think he's good at what he does. And what he does is like worms his way out of pretty much any conflict that has been thrown his direction this entire time. I don't know. I don't know how to,

I don't know how to justify my admiration of Ben Higgins, the ax man in that regard. I feel like Ben Higgins was a little bit more honest about it. Like if he, I think he owned yeah he had a way of eliminating people that really like seemed so satisfying like seemed so unique to the woman he was eliminating yeah i don't think there was very much like my heart just uh wasn't you know that intangible factor he was very much like i am sending you home because you are too short bye like he was he was very matter of fact about i feel like most of the

women that were eliminated left the conversation feeling like yeah nope that tracks all right all right you're right i'm too short what's up bye um uh and then we get bloopers they're good bloopies which are always good usually they involve bugs flying a lot around people around people yeah uh and then we get to spend some time with rachel people the bloopers were also like oh these women all really love hanging out with each other there was extended throwing food into each other's mouth which is like that's the shit i'm interested in is like the you guys are prisoners in this house, and you can't do anything fun. So, like, the stuff that you do to entertain yourselves. And so it seemed like the mouth-food-to-mouth throwing game was interesting.

And then seeing how many of these, like, huge cheese cubes fit into her face. She could put a lot in there. Yeah, she could. And again, I've talked about this, too. Like, I don't think anybody in the house really hated Corn all that much. Except for Taylor, apparently. But, like, she was always applauding applauding when Rachel came out as the next bachelorette,

she was applauding whenever like, uh, you know, Liz was telling her story. She was applauding. Like she was very, a lot of the women jumped to her defense to her defense. Yeah.

Um, or like apologize specifically for not being cool with whatever it was. Yeah. Um, and then we get Rachel and then we get Rachel. And then we get Rachel. Rachel comes out. And it's interesting because she does a lot of the, like, I'm really excited, I'm really honored.

And then Chris says specifically, you're our first African-American bachelor or bachelorette. And Rachel kind of says, like like i'm excited to have that responsibility she says the word that i keep coming back to is i'm honored i'm honored to be the uh the first african-american person to like have this the responsibility of of this position she says how does she put it she says um i don't necessarily want it to be the whole focus of my season although it is something that i'm like happy to like um acknowledge and have be a factor which like yeah i really i have no idea what to expect we have nothing we have no idea to go on at this point it's it's gonna like

i don't know how this show's gonna do it's really weird like i'm i'm thinking about an in traditional bachelorette terms. And, like, boy, I hope there's a fun cast of boys. And I hope there's some good boys in there. And I hope there's some fun having good boys in there. And I hope that they don't make Rachel too boring like they do with the main star of Bachelor or Bachelorette like they do. Like, you love them when they're a contestant. But then when they're in charge, like, they don't get as much fun stuff to do. Boy, I hope that doesn't happen.

I don't even know how to factor in, like, I hope this show, like, does a good job of having its first, like, black star. Um, I just have no idea how they're gonna, I have no idea how they're gonna handle it. And I don't know how much of an emphasis they're going to place on the fact that this is our first black bachelor and bachelorette. And if they do place an an emphasis on it whether or not they'll do it in like a a good way yeah no i mean it would be smart for them to bring in some consultants or or just kind of acknowledge like we're out of our element here i don't think it doesn't seem like the style though no i'm pretty sure everybody making this show is fucking full- full blown unreal like we got this yeah yeah i don't know um i'm so excited for rachel to be the bachelorette though i i am too but i just i feel a little burned for all the reasons that you said

you know like as soon as somebody becomes the lead, they have to almost dial back their personality to make room for the show. I loved Caitlin on whose season was that? Chris, Chris souls. Yeah. Um, yeah. I remember because it was so gross when Caitlin and,

uh, the other woman had to like fight it out for the spot of being the bachelorette that season. That was Brit. Yeah. God, that was shittyachelorette that season. That was so shit. Brit. God, that was shitty. But I loved Caitlyn. She was hysterical.

She was one of my favorite contestants ever. And then when she was the Bachelorette, I was just like, eh. They didn't give her anything fun to do. It wasn't like she changed or whatever and became boring. It was just now you're in charge. And so there's all these responsibilities that you have to live up to. So unfortunately, in fulfilling those responsibilities, you're going to be boring as hell. I just really hope that they don't do that to Rachel.

Yeah. The other thing I'll say is that when she came out, all the women were so excited. Everybody was. They were all standing up and praising her and what a good Bachelorette she was going to be. And then one of the women said, and I really appreciated this. She's like, we'll take your leftovers. That was really good. So all of the captions were like at the,

no joke. When she came out for, for a minute, the captions were just like women yelling. Like it couldn't even break it down. Cause everybody was just like yelling, like how much they loved Rachel and how great a job she was going to do. And like,

we just didn't see that, didn't see that, that their, that their friendship formed, but whatever. And that was the Women Tell All. Boy, I think we burned through that pretty fast, but hey, it's a Women Tell All. Yeah, this is literally, and I think it's the same with Griffin,

this is my least favorite episode every season. And I don't like talking about it. It's just like, it's just, you know they're going to dedicate at least 30 minutes to an hour to the Badlands episode where they manufactured some bullshit drama that nobody really gave a shit about. We should thank people for some gifts we got. Yes.

So I wanted to thank Cassie for the caramel she sent me. for the caramel she sent me. She heard about my dairy soy situation right now and that I can't have either and sent me some really nice caramels to kind of itch my sweet tooth. I'll scratch your teeth if you need me to. That's kind of a strange request this is more probably

of a Mim Mim thing but we just got it and I'm so in love with it somebody sent a Mac the Turtle sort of replica which was a wonderful wooden turtle that I found while shooting the Mim Mim Mim TV show it was Ashley and Tyler thank you both I hope you're listening and thank you to everybody who

sent stuff to our P.O. Box it's P.O. Box 66639 Austin Texas 78766 if you want to get in touch. And thanks for all the postcards and wedding invites and nice letters we get. We get a lot of really, really sweet stuff. And a lot of it is like you helped my blank to watch this show with me. And now it's like a thing we do all the time. And I'm so happy that we're bringing folks together. Sort of. sort of well kind of i wish we were doing it for a more wholesome i was just like thank you for bringing us to watch the great british baking show it's like well

you're welcome unfortunately that or thanks for bringing us together to do this great charity work that would be it doesn't have to be a tv show yeah dang um thank you to maximum fun for having us go to maximum fun.org check out all the great shows again the max fun drive is coming up and we got some exciting

stuff coming out that we are really looking forward to showing you i guess let us know in the facebook group and i'm sure people are already signing

off there like what we should do after this is over uh because next week is the finale and then we don't really know what we're gonna do some definite

contenders are the season of are you the one uh terrace house aloha state we've talked about doing um or talking about the ending of terrace house although i feel like that ship is pretty much sailed at this point yeah um boy it's a good ending though um yeah we have some stuff that we can talk about if you could always watch trista's season two yeah i thought about that the first bachelorette. Yeah. I also thought it might be kind of fun to go back and watch Ben Flagenik's season,

because it was my first season of watching the show and just seeing how it's... I don't know if we could find it anywhere. If you're new to the podcast, there are pretty big gaps between... The next thing after this is Rachel's season of The Bachelorette. That'll probably kick off in, what, May, June? Yes, May. Yeah, so we'll have about a month, month and a half long gap. And during that time, we usually watch other kissing shows. And then after her season will probably end

in probably around late July, August. Bachelor in Paradise. Bachelor in Paradise starts off pretty much right after that. There's not much of a gap there most of the time. And then after that, there's there's not much of a gap there most of the time and then after that we have the long dark where we just have to talk about any old shit any old shit until next january we'll find a lot of overseas shows on youtube during that time yeah hopefully by that time terrace house aloha state will have finished up its its run we'll be able to get back into that and we'll be on to a new Terrace House. Basically, I just want all TV shows to be

Terrace House at this point. Yeah, for sure. Anyway, that's it, right? Yep. Cool. Let's go to bed. Okay. I love you. I love you too. I'm Griffin McElroy. I'm Rachel McElroy. When you're ready. Final Rose. Stay with us on this journey of joy.

Spoiler alert! She ends up with Soulja Boy. Right reasons. Right reasons. Keep it real. All for season. My name is Patrick. My name is Parker.

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because everyone there is good and amazing and kind and wonderful. And you should absolutely go. It will be the best decision of your life. Make a ton of new friends like Parker and Patrick at MaxFunCon. Tickets for MaxFunCon and MaxFunCon East are on sale now at MaxFunCon.com. MaximumFunCon.com. MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

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