Wonderful! - Ep. 73: Juicy Delandal

Episode Date: May 31, 2017

This week's episode had it all: The blossoming of new love, an adorable dog attending a dog party, a marriage-themed obstacle course, and, of course, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. It just methodically checks off all the elements required for a good episode of television. Additional Reading: https://www.bustle.com/p/peter-rachel-praised-therapy-on-the-bachelorette-in-a-huge-move-for-destigmatizing-mental-health-issues-60969 http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/kareem-abdul-jabbar-my-journey-bachelorette-critic-guest-star-guest-column-1006560 MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Maybe you should go and do some contemplating. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. I'm the Bachelorette and I'm rapping to your poolside. Here to find true love. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hi, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is Rose Buddies.

This podcast is about The Bachelorette. And boy, howdy, do we have a scandalous episode for you today. Ooh, this episode Rosebuddies. sop up all this juice because it's we'll get some bounty towels because we have a bounty of scandal for you the juice is delicious and so i've got a portmanteau to describe this one and combining the words scandalous and delicious and it's delandle perfect this ep is so it's juicy with scandal and i can't wait to just wring it out all over my hair and just lather in it for a while don't you think don't you feel the exact same way you were telling me the same shit last night after the episode left after the episode left our house it came into the house through the tv like a poltergeist and then it left and then we said i want to wring it out all over my

hair and lather in it you said it you were the first one to say it i quoted you so much fucking scandal i feel like if we go along this path much longer it's going to get a little blue i think yeah i think you put there's probably people who interpreted it's a i was doing it like a fun i guess maybe a little sexual kind of like those herbal essences commercials that got me so horny as a kid well griffin you can't help but be sexual. How did those commercials get in the air, though? Because those women were making orgasm noises. They were.

Those commercials were Delandle, y'all. Seriously, last night's episode was pretty buck wild. And I think we should. Here's what I think. We watched it. You took a bunch of notes. I think we should talk about it. Okay.

Can we talk about the fact that we also watched it with our friends for like the first time in a long time yeah uh because henry wasn't like sleeping so good for a while like we've kind of just been watching by ourselves for a bit because it's also we take it very seriously like rachel takes all these notes and we both feel like we want to be really dialed in but this is the first night we had like 10 friends over and uh had dinner all together and i had a bunch of drinks and i made a strawberry pie and it was it was a excellent time thank you to all of us henry did wake up in the first 30 minutes that is true which sent me into a small spiral but then he slept the rest the rest of the time and we got to enjoy this delandal episode, y'all. Hit me. You ready? Let's go. Episode two. We start out.

It's Rachel and Copper. This dog. Do you want to talk about what you're drinking? It's a New Belgium Juicy Watermelon, Watermelon Lime Ale. Ooh, juicy. How appropriate. It's pretty dang good.

This fucking dog. First of all, I got the scoop from Rachel herself about what that cast is all about. On Twitter, guys. She didn't call us. Okay, but you could have. Give me my one Harriet the Spy moment, please. This dog broke its toe. I didn't even know doggies could do that.

But did you see how? Jumping out of a car? Yeah, she very kind of carefully said, jumping off of something. I think she said jumping out of a car, broke its toe. They probably went to, I don't know, some sort of dog park. Puppy was so excited, hopped right the fuck out, hit a curb weird. We've all been there. And where's this cast?

But it doesn't slow Copper down. Copper is the fluffiest, most beautiful pup I've ever seen. And I just, I treasure every moment I have with this dog. We go from that to footage of the dudes all sitting on the balcony of Bachelor Mansion yelling, Rachel! Which they like to do. It's my favorite shit. telling Rachel, which they like to do. It's my favorite shit.

Across all seasons and nations in which this show takes place, you can count on, if it's Bachelorette, a group of 20 to 30 gentlemen all screaming, you know, Jasmine, all in the same sort of pitch. It's like how birds know to fly north for the winter. All dudes just know which pit. They don't fly north? No. Why would to fly north for the winter. All dudes just know which pit. They don't fly north. No.

Why would they fly north for the winter? They love the cold. They play in the snow with all their geese and stuff. All dudes just know the pitch to all, like, communally yell a bachelorette's name. It's beautiful. It's nature. It's, like, coded into our DNA and dna it reminds me when i get home from

work and and you you yell rachel yeah and it's always i think it's e flat what is e flat again rachel obviously it diminishes there at the end so what happens after the first 15 seconds. What would like B sharp be? B sharp would be like, Rachel. Okay. I have no way. Unless you wanted to transpose it down an octave, then it'd be Rachel. Okay. That would be weird though. That would be like, why would I do that?

I'm going to trust you on that. So dudes all go inside the house and Chris, to kind of start off the day, delivers the date card. But first he gives this speech that is a little foreshadowing because he's just like, isn't Rachel great? You know, you guys really like her. Yeah, we're all having a really good time. You know, I just hope, you know, because she's so great. I just hope you guys are here for the right reasons oh my god i forgot about that okay so then what happens later is

definitely a fucking setup okay yeah i completely fucking forgot about this but no now that you've reminded me like okay it'll it illuminates some things that happen later on in the app yeah uh so the first state card is a group date for dean jack jonathan um blake it's just names y'all at this point lucas is on the gentleman the kaboobo kaboobo kaboobo so the guys all get together they champagne toast at which point lucas does yell kabubo and all the wine glasses break and it's really funny it's really fucking fun like i can't stop like i dropped the whole pie and it was still hot and it burned my lap terribly but i couldn't help it because i had to laugh at the man and the funny word he keeps fucking screaming i dropped the

whole pie i burned myself bad. I'm suing. Did you know this? They should put a warning up there. Like, hey, funny man's about to say kabubo. Count down to the bubo. Don't hold a pie, Griffin. And I was holding a pie.

I'm suing ABC and Mike Fleiss to get this warning on the air. So they could do like the blind date style. I want the blind date. Oh, God, how much trashier with this fucking- in five four yeah uh the guys get to the date uh it is outdoors rachel is grilling and um there was some question in our viewing party as to whether she was actually grilling and i say hey maybe she was grilling she was grilling and there was hot there's hot meat on a hey, maybe she was grilling. She was grilling and there was hot meat on a grill. Of course she was grilling. There was a wide variety

of meat types on the grill and they were awfully close to each other. And that's just my own thing. I don't fuck with that. I keep my shit pretty separate. Griffin has gotten salmonella from a grill. I've gotten salmonella a couple times. You don't fuck around. I've actually gotten food poisoning from a grill too. Yeah. You put somebody on there who doesn't know what they're doing, it is dangerous. But Rachel looked very confident salmonella a couple times you don't actually got food poisoning from a grill too yeah you put

somebody on there doesn't know what they're doing it is dangerous but rachel looked very confident behind the grill she looked like she wouldn't give me uncle sal that's what i called it we were deeply closely acquainted for two weeks was it really two weeks maybe it was the worst fuck you were with me during that time i was there for it yeah you were real sick yeah i had that hospital diarrhea what what they had to put a bag in my arm because my butt just won't quit pooping now your butt won't quit but in a different way no usually it never quits do it's very um it's very determined it's juicy juicy butt, guys. Yeah. Especially during that two-week period.

Oh, God. The guys join Rachel in drinking Moscow mules, and we knew that they were drinking those because they have those little copper mugs. We've got to get some of those. Those are my favorite cocktail ever. It's delicious. They throw the football around, which I started thinking it was Memorial Day. I wonder if this was just a big old American themed episode in honor of the holiday.

Yeah. Lucas begins on a path this date during this moment of just being too much. Just too loud. Oh, sorry. This is when he starts being too much? Well, before it was all centered around his catchphrase but then it becomes clear that no matter the activity lucas will be too much i think lucas is surprised as the rest of us that lucas is still on the show

this is not a joke there are times when he my favorite shit now, because it is such a, like, kind of cosmic comeuppance, is the moments where he has to have a serious sit-down conversation with Rachel. And like, hey, what's your game like in this department, dude? What's your serious talk game like? Is it still like, you know, everybody's still got some waboom in them? Because I think she's probably done with that. You got anything else in the tank? Doesn't seem like you got anything left in the tank, pal. Well, it's like setting measured expectations, right?

If he is a complete jackass 85% of the time, his ability to hold a regular conversation seems even more impressive. So I think he's kind of playing up crazy Lucas so that when he's actually able to string a coherent sentence together. Hasn't happened yet. She thinks, huh, well, it does happen later on this. I guess it does. So there's a competition, of course.

The competition is called husband material, and it looks to be some kind of typical Bachelor Relay. But what makes this different is we have two celebrity guests, famous couple, Ash and Kutcher, Mila Kunis. Okay. This was a big pull, right? This was a big... For the franchise to get them? Yeah, it seems like. Well, they say this was the franchise so like yeah it seems like um well they say they contacted

they say they contact the franchise because they're such big fans they want to make sure that rachel's i mean this happens twice in this episode i love rachel so much and i want to make sure that she is taken care of so i did this appearance on the most popular television show right now gratis just because i'm looking out for rachel ashton kutcher is wearing a novelty t-shirt that says trophy husband yeah i mean they're they're having fun they're having fun they're having fun they're having fun give me a dax and a kristen bell though oh that'd be so good that'd be good shit yeah i guess i just couldn't get especially excited about this celebrity couple because i don't know a lot about them.

Don't know a lot. They're a bit more reclusive, huh? Mm-hmm. Which is strange because then they came on this show. Said, hey, yeah, we are your favorite celebrity couple, clearly. Also, The Shine kind of came off the ashton apple during those racist-ass Pop Chips commercials. I think it was Pop Chips. Oh, I forgot.

It was Pop Chips. Yeah, I'll never forget those were rough stuff i remember seeing on those on the tv and i think you're like what yeah no you you can't you can't do that uh so ashton and mila talk about how much they love the show how mila drinks white wine and ashton has a vodka tonic, and they just sit and watch the show together. And they're real excited about the opportunity to be on. Okay. Then we go back to the house briefly.

And we get this nice moment where our friend AJ appears again. Okay. I think I know what they're going to be doing with AJ for the rest of this season, and I am here for it. AJ in this scene is in the pool. Just floating. Just floating. AJ is, of course, the wonderful

I think boy that a witch turned into a doll. That's where I'm at with AJ now. It turned him into a doll for my own sort of amusement and enjoyment on this television show the bachelorette um there was some real concern at our viewing party that this was how we were going to find out that aj was no longer with us because he was floating in the pool lifeless and we thought oh is this how well well more lifeless

this is how bachelorette is telling us that AJ is no longer with us. But don't worry, he comes back later in the ep. And then we get a little teaser that Lee is kind of trouble. There's a scene where Lee is talking to somebody else in the house. And he's just dropping a lot of curse bombs. And so it's difficult to hear what he's saying. But there's a suggestion that Lee takes it too far sometimes. Yeah, so during the season preview, it is teased that though he didn't really make much of a splash in the first episode,

he is going to be sort of the big villain, I think, of the season. My guess is that after Lucas leaves, and I'm assuming he will, Lee will surface as the new focus. Lucas leaves. I'm assuming he will. Yeah. Lee will surface. Well, yeah, this show is going to need another monkey bar to swing to. And like this is this this is obviously what they're going to be grabbing on to.

He was the he had like a guitar when he came in. I don't know if we talked much about like a self-proclaimed southern gentleman. All right. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Those usually break good. So awesome.

Okay. Back to the relay. So in order to prove their husband material, the men have to change a baby diaper. They have to put the baby in a baby Bjorn. They have to then vacuum up a long carpet to a clogged sink, at which point they do dishes and set a table. And then grab like a bouquet. And then go to the flower shop. Yeah, and run it. All of this obviously is extremely normative.

At the same time, God, I love a good obstacle course. Fuck, I love a good like relay obstacle course. I mean, why are the dudes doing it anyway? Because it's just women's work, right? It's just, like, the things that women are supposed to be doing. Sure. With the vacuum, you know? Uh-huh.

Rachel's doing this. She is transformed right now. I don't know who this character is. This is my sincere voice. Yeah, so the rest of the time you're insincere. This is the only real thing you've ever said on this podcast and it's horrible you know how so griffin also does this whenever griffin is playing a contemptible person he does a different voice just to make sure that

i know that it's but is that really me because that's what you're making it sound like you are this person who frankly kind of stinks uh okay so the men compete um i think some of the men take it seriously as if they have to do a good job at each of these challenges yeah there were shades of the relay that happened i think i think last season or oh it was during ben's season i can't remember whose season it was during but where they had to do like a uh like a track meet run and grab an engagement ring. And like all of the women. That was Nick's season. That was Nick's season.

Because Rachel competed in that. Oh, yeah. And there was like a tie and then one of them like dropped the ring and a woman went to like reach and grab it. And some other woman stomped on it and shattered like shards of broken plastic all over the place. I was worried we were about to see like a horrible injury. God, I love a good obstacle course. Me too. all over the place. I was worried we were about to see like a horrible injury. God, I love a good obstacle course.

Me too. So what happens is who ultimately wins is the person that finishes it first. It really doesn't matter that you care for the infant that is strapped to you. And Lucas proves that by just obliterating this baby. And then when it gets to the flower shop scene, it is him and one other man kenny kenny and he puts his arm out and clotheslines kenny by hitting him in the throat yeah to win the race he stiff arms him pretty good there um and like kenny's trajectory changes a good 15 to 20 degrees as he's running towards these flowers. And apparently that's cool.

Later on, Rachel brings it up like, hey, so you definitely stiff-armed Kenny back there, huh? Wow, you must be willing to do anything for what matters. It's like, oh, guys, this was a fun obstacle course on the show The Bachelorette, and some dude kind of stiff-armed another dude. Maybe we shouldn't be, like, rewarding that behavior necessarily. To be fair, though, Lucas doesn't get any kind of big, exciting reward. Yeah, part of me wondered if that was maybe on the table,

but then when fucking Kaboobles won, Rachel was like, maybe you just get this cool medallion. So after Lucas wins, he has one more task that he takes upon himself oh Jesus this was so sad he's standing in kind of the winner's circle with Rachel and Mila and Ashton and all of a sudden we come into this conversation where Mila is explaining to Ashton why Lucas wants him to say, well, boom. Yeah.

Lucas is like, can you get, can you do me one favor? Give me a, well, boom. And Ashton's like, what is,

what is, what is that? And Ashton's like, Hey, well, I don't even understand what that is. Why would I say it? And, and why is it so important?

And Mila's like, well, it's just his thing. He just wants you to say it. So, so to say it, like, it's just his thing.

Ashton's probably worried that it's secretly some really, really racist thing. And he's like, really cautious about that shit these days. And so then Lucas demonstrates Kaboom. And after he does the expression on Ashton's face. I felt a kinship with him that i have not felt since those fateful commercials griffin ashton is maybe the most infamous bro to ever bro and the fact that he can't get on board super not with this bro we bro says a lot to me the first time i saw lucas's like true delivery of bazoobles. My reaction was exactly Ashton's, which was like, okay, okay.

Yeah. This is what you're working with? Ooh. From what I can tell, Ashton never says zoobly-zoo. No. But... He never says zooboo-ma-foo, definitely not. It was a tense moment.

It was very tense for all of us. And then we cut to Blake who understands his role on the show, which is to complain that Lucas won and that he is awful. Blake, of course, is Lucas's former co-star on the TV show Exile.

And remember, they brought this real drama with them into this season of television. Excellent. So now we're at the night portion of the date. They go to this bar that has like arcade games and like kind of unique decor. The dudes are all excited to be there. And then this is where Rachel says, OK, well, Lucas, you won. So I guess we'll have our first time together.

She did not sound quite that dejected, but. A little bit. Yeah. It's kind of like, let's get this over with. You're the winner. And so that's where she calls him out right away. Like, you really, like. You hit Kenny with your hand and arm.

And Lucas is just like, well, yeah, but who was i doing it for oh cool yeah um and then he reads a poem uh i'm gonna be honest i didn't really pay attention to the poem no it wasn't very good i remember he did a rhyme where he said a word wrong where it was like oh yeah it was like amicable but he said like amicable or something something weird like that to make it fit it was like a slant rhyme but for said by a delivered by a dumb person and uh he gets a kiss at the end of the poem it's very sweet very romantic god i can't wait for this dude and blake to both go home at the same time yeah while lucas is with rachel blake is trying to kind of rally the men behind him

and says, you know, hey, I know Lucas. Lucas just wants to be on TV. He references that they have, like, prior experience together, but definitely doesn't say, we were on the hit WeTV reality show, Exile, where we were also each other's foils. Yeah, when he says something about living with lucas's ex yeah that's his roommate yeah i don't know it was all very complicated and all also i just don't give a shit is the other thing like i just don't fucking care about any of this i have

this reaction i think there's something about me and this is probably not unique to me but when somebody is trying their hardest to be funny and doing it in kind of an arrogant way like you're really gonna love this i don't want to pay any attention to that like i i like part of me recoils and thinks no you don't get that here's a really timely hot and like reference. You remember in the OC when Summer and Seth break up and she starts dating that dude who quotes Jim Carrey movies all the time and just has a very big comedy? And both him and Seth and Sandy are both like, it's just so loud and so noisy. Too big. His comedy's too big.

That's what I feel like about Lucas. Who taught this? How is this how you learned how to do this? Because it stinks, my man. Yeah, no, it's, I just find myself not paying any attention to him when he's on screen. I mean, my bigger thing is not that, like, he's annoying. like being brought on this show to have this really pointless and fabricated drama from the start in case the rest of the shit that this show is doing this season wasn't enough for everybody. That's how I'm reading it, and maybe I'm reading it in the most crass way imaginable,

but that's kind of how I think of the people who make this show, which is just like, ooh, what if people aren't immediately hooked by, like, having the most diverse cast this series has ever seen and the first black lead that this show's ever had? Just to be safe, let's put these two dumb shits in here to have a fight on episode one, and that'll be just

our guaranteed, like, blue chip stock, like, it fucking stinks. Well, what's interesting is it's like, it's not taking with us like it's it's not taking with us and clearly it's not taking with the dudes in the house either because you keep seeing these moments where the dudes have conflict in front of the other guys and it's not like the other guys are taking sides they're just kind of observing it's also not taking with like the show because they get fucking one minute of screen time during the entire two hour episode which is i guess good that they

aren't like they aren't just like flooding the show with this shit but there was also a bigger thing this app there was a bigger thing this app but i also think like the people who make this show know like oh this is stupid uh i guess we'll put some of this in but like you remember when corn and taylor's fight flared up like that was an hour of television just dedicated to that and people's reactions to that we aren't getting any of that for this completely like low stakes bullshit um the other thing that happens on this date uh rachel spent some time with fred and kind of reiterates hey i can't separate you from the kid at summer camp that was bad. And Fred's like, hey, you know, it was a different time, you know, and I just I want to say that you have really matured a lot since then.

And she's like, oh, I have matured. I'm the one that needed to mature, which was a funny moment. But it just it seems like it's not going to happen between those two. It doesn't seem like it's going to happen between her and kind of anybody on this date in fact she kind of remarks while there's like this talks about that there's a super cut of like all these dudes coming up and being like so uh get a lot of tornadoes down in dallas or and and she's just like giving this speech to the camera and the behind the scenes like none of these interviews are really great like none of these conversations are are really bringing us any closer together.

And I'm kind of like waiting for something to happen at all on this date with any of these guys. And it just doesn't really seem to go anywhere with pretty much all of them. No, I she does have a kind of a spark with one guy. But before that happens, Blake decides he's going to tellachel that lucas is not there for the right reasons cool and he gives weird evidence he talks about how he lives with lucas's axis as the roommate and that he knows that lucas just wants to be on television and then he says lucas came with his own makeup uh which i just thought was like a weird citation to give. Like, let me tell you why he's here for the wrong reasons. Dude brought makeup.

Yeah, that's a shitty. I mean, all the dudes are getting makeup all the time from the show, I guess. I'm assuming. That's a weird citation. I've got it. I've got the one piece of evidence that's going to. He knows that she's a lawyer and loves evidence. And this is a.

This is. Exhibit B. Foundation. Yes, Dom. that's gonna he knows that she's a lawyer and loves evidence and this is a this is exhibit b foundation um yeah it's dumb it's so dumb it's so dumb i don't know who annoys me more i swear to god one of them is screaming his own shitty catchphrase every 30 seconds to anybody who will listen i'm almost more annoyed by the dude who's like my entire role on this show is gonna be the doomed dragon slayer which is like every fucking season there has to be a doomed dragon slayer and it always bums me out because it's like be a person yeah you probably came on this show like i'm gonna be a person i'm gonna talk about peepees and how mine rules oh no i got stuck just like sort of attacking this one dude until both of us inevitably go home ah shucks

well and then he decides he's gonna do the honorable thing and come back to the group and tell lucas that he has exposed him to rachel uh at which point lucas exclaims as a 80s movie villain villain villain uh why are you attacking me yeah the way he said it was like i don't know there was something about his intonation all of it was fake all of it was fake like all of all of the things he were what he was saying was so like insincere and i i don't even want i don't want to talk about this anymore this thing's this this drama is the dumbest fucking thing ever and i can't believe that they that they did this both guys aren't gonna make it no they're not gonna fucking make it they'll be gone by episode

three yeah she's not gonna have some heart to heart with blake and be like you know i think he's more than the guy who hates the good bazinga guy no that's pretty much all he is is the guy who hates the bazinga guy and that's gonna be his fucking character development until you send him back to whence he came. Blake, thank you for talking to me about Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I feel closer to you now than ever. I'm going to keep you. Let's get married.

It's not going to happen. Not going to happen. So the night. Cool hog, though. Credit where credit's due. Cool Jim Jam down there. Thanks for showing it to me. Thanks for showing it to me. And thank you for

all the good intel about nanu nanu over there but uh so she does have a spark with dean okay uh dean is the only man that kind of approaches her in the evening and they have a real easy relaxed conversation uh she finds him really handsome and confident um dean's but dean was the guy once you go black you never go back dude which they talk about it again they talk about it once more so like i was so torn because i was like if this dude hadn't fucking said this thing i might be like i might not know better and i would be team dean just based on like how he's been on the season but at the same time every fucking conversation they've had this season is like three conversations in two episodes is about this completely awful thing he said on live television she's giving him a lot of credit because she's

like you know i know that you must have gone into that thinking some people are gonna like it and some people aren't but the fact that you did it anyway shows to me how confident you are. I'm like, Rachel, you're giving him a lot of credit. Here's the thing. I think Dean's actually going to go pretty far this season. Like they do seem to have like a connection. And I also think that the reason they keep talking about it is because this show has to establish

a lot of characters very, very, very quickly in the way they do that. Like you've noticed in all the conversations we've had about all the conversations they had in episode two were about shit that they did in episode one like oh i still see you as summer camp kid and oh bazinga and i are gonna keep having this fight about his daughter and he talks about his daughter like it's the same conversations they had in episode one because they really need to drill down like who these people are and like weirdly enough dean who i think again is going to

do pretty well his character is this dude who said this whack shit when he introduced himself to the to the franchise and it's following yeah okay i don't know what you're gonna do with that but i i i'm not i'm not really down with with dean i don't think yeah i i just have to assume at this point it's an attraction and she's given him the benefit of the doubt. Yeah. Which is more than we have to do. So the group date Rose goes to Dean. And from what I can tell, that just means that he gets to walk her out to her car. Cause that's all we see that happens after he gets the Rose, he walks her to the car and they hug and kiss.

Yeah. And it seems like there's, there's some chemistry there. Let's go to the car and they hug and kiss. Yeah. And it seems like there's some chemistry there. Let's go to the solo date. Or is there other stuff? No, the solo date is with Peter. Okay. I love Peter. Peter, at our group viewing,

it was funny to listen to people as we watched the show. It went from like who is i don't who the fuck is peter why does he get the first group date or the first solo date to like by the end of his segment like i want to fuck peter's brains out like it started like as kind of a ripple like you know he's a pretty good looking guy to like literally somebody said he's the most handsome man who's ever been on this show these are all actual things and i don't know what i don't know what this group think like he went memetic in in our group of like 10 viewers from like oh i don't know who this dude is but he seems pretty charming to like i will find and marry him i will make him my groom like peter should be the

next bachelor i'm not satisfied in any television that doesn't include peter at all times it was intense it was intense like by the end we were organizing a change.org petition to like make him the the new chancellor of america or something um but at the same time like i do get it like he kicks ass he's great he seems good and their connection seems like maybe the fastest a connection has gotten this strong ever on this show um and it's it's just buck wild to me because episode one i was like this dude's gone episode two i don't know anything about him because he didn't get he didn't get any screen do you have any notes about peter what did you write i was just looking to see if i have anything about peter

because you took notes on all the dudes as they exited the limo peter is also from wisconsin madison yeah he's a business owner okay and when he came out of the limo and introduced himself later rachel said he was cute all right that's about all we got okay um yeah he's great so their date i forget what they did i was just so enamored they get in a car and drive to a tarmac, and they find out they are getting in a plane and going to Palm Springs. And Rachel says, just so you know, I know this is a one-on-one date, and you were expecting to be just me, but one of my best friends is coming. And a car drives up, opens, and Copper runs out. Oh, Copper. Oh, Copper.

Copper is a good doggie. runs out oh copper oh copper is a good doggy he or she i don't know copper only has three legs working because it's got the cast on the fourth one but it still runs so good um what do you think it feels like to pet copper oh my gosh you know those like dusters that are kind of fuzzy. They're almost like the stuffing of a pillow. Yeah. Oh, down soft copper. Mm-hmm. Good, good, good dog. Good dog.

Before we talk about what their date was, because this has never happened on any of the things I've ever done in almost eight years of podcasting uh the sponsor of this date is also the sponsor of this episode of rose buddies is that a conflict of interest absolutely it is hey griffin yeah babe can i steal you away wild wild west jim west desperado uh wow yeah i cut in the middle of wild wild west Wild Wild West. Jim West. Desperada. Huh? Wow. Yeah, I cut in the middle with Wild Wild West. One of our sponsors this week.

What is Girl Talk doing in here? Yeah, get out of here, Girl Talk. This is a two-hander. You know what I would have done? Huh? A woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof. Bark? Our sponsor of this episode of Rose Buddies and this date is both BarkBox.

BarkBox is... They send a monthly package of four to six natural treats and super fun toys curated around a surprise theme. Whether it's a friend or family member who wants a monthly surprise for their beloved pup bark box is the perfect gift so we got that we did not know that this was going to happen by the way that they were going to be on the television show and so like we were watching like oh that name's from oh shit uh they did send us a bark box we do not have a pup um but our friends chris and stephy chris and stephy down the street do and they have a very cute dog. The dog's name is Postable, which is the best name for a dog.

They, when we ordered the box, they asked questions about Postable. Namely, like the size and breed of the dog. And then they sent appropriate toys and treats for a dog of Postable's size. They picked the best all-natural treats made in the

USA or Canada and innovative toys to match a dog's unique needs, including they pick the best all-natural treats made in the usa or canada and innovative toys to match a dog's unique needs including allergies and heavy chewer preferences if your dog doesn't like something in the box bark box will send you something they'll love for free right now you can get a free extra month of bark box when you sign up for a six or 12 month plan if you visit barkbox.com slash rose buddies and use that link to subscribe. Possible got a little chewy pretzel. Oh, yeah. And then a little chewy newspaper. And then some nice treats and some other toys.

And they were all very cute. They were really cute. So that's BarkBox. We're going to talk more about them, I guess, in a second. We have another sponsor this week, though, and it's MeUndies. And I'm also very excited about this one because I'm lucky enough to say I've replaced my entire underwear collection with MeUndies now. I still have some boxers I guess I wear when I

feel like I don't deserve it. But Rachel just got a very special package in the mail today with some MeUndies in it also that it's very exciting. Yeah, the prints match some of Griffin's underwear.

So that'll be fun for us. I don't know what we're going to do with that necessarily. And we're not going to like wear that. We're not just going to wear underpants out of the house. Probably. Do you not usually wear underpants out of the house? I mean, I do, but not just. Nobody's ever going to know we're matching.

I don't know a circumstance where people are like, are you and Rachel wearing the same underwear today? But we'll know wink i guess so um anyway uh here this is the opener they provide i've talked about rosebuddies so much i don't know i need the provided opener pride starts on the inside so celebrate yourself with me undies that's some fucking tom haverford shit that i am totally into treat yourself to some me andy's uh me andy's believes in feeling good and being themselves uh they send you those those micro modal underpants to fabric three times softer than cotton they're soft and stretchy and they

feel so good me andy's is putting their money where their underwear is during pride month for every pair of special editions celebrate undiesies you buy during Pride, MeUndies will donate $1 to the Los Angeles LGBT Center. And as if you need another reason to try MeUndies, they're offering 20% off your first pair and a satisfaction guarantee that you'll love them or your money back. Just visit our URL,

URL, MeUndies.com slash RoseBuddies. Head there, get you some underwear, get those special editions, Celebrate Undies, and you're going to get a good price and you'll be donating to an amazing cause. One more time, it's meundies.com. How often can you buy underwear and have money go to charity? It's a great thing. Okay, we have a Jumbotron.

This message is for Emmy. It's from Yo-Yo. The message is, hey, babe, what happened on The Bachelor this week? All right, and that's it. Oh, wait, hold on. It looks like this message was cut off. Please find the entire message below. No, no, I'm sorry.

That was that's the message. And it was very good. It was very to the point. I mean, pay attention. Like we told you, I guess if you've listened so far, you know of what happened we got a we got a later update okay okay okay from max fun all right uh the the message continues and says i am excited about our impending nuptials okay i hope that our life continues to be full of goofs the bachelor and bad jokes you may start too many small kitchen fires but i've been smoking for 40 years and can't even tell the difference.

I love you for exactly who you are. The greatest love of all. Baby, you can't interrupt. I'm not done. I love you for exactly who you are. Gross. I thought you would keep going as I sang

the greatest love of all. Everybody just wants somebody who can't smell the horrible stinks they make. That's a very good love. Thank you for writing in. Here's another Jumbotron message. This one is for Colleen, and it's from Chris, who says, I love you lots, and I wanted to get you something unexpected for Valentine's Day. I guess this is unexpected for Valentine's.

A very unexpected Valentine's Day gift on May 31st. I know neither of us watches The Bachelor, but we both love Griffin's voice. Thank you. So that makes this worth it. I love everything we've, I love everywhere we've been, and I look forward to where we're going. You're the greatest, and I love you to pieces, even if you do pick the creepiest starter Pokemon. That's a sweet message from Chris for Colleen. Babe, what's your favorite starter Pokemon?

Here we go. Favorite starter. Gen 1 through, I think they're on 7 now. Charizard. Charizard is the evolved form of Charmander who is a Gen 1 starter. I'll allow it. Who's your favorite? I mean, the first, you always love your first,

Squirtle. Squirtle? Yeah. I loved, um, oh shit. Hey Griff. Who is Rowlet,

the owl, you know, the fun hat. Griff, I'm sure you've thought about this. I'm going to ask this question. You're going to know the answer right away. If I were a Pokemon,

Ooh, yeah. Which Pokemon would I be? Man'm gonna say my answer to that one babe is mewtwo because the cat one well he's sort of a psychic like frankenstein cat but he's the most powerful or at least he was back in the day now there's like pokemon that like shift dimensions around themselves or whatever but me too is very powerful very very powerful like you and hyper intelligent like you and he could talk english which was really fucked up all the other pokemon were like all the other pokemon were like leprous you know and they

just like said their own names. Mewtwo could fucking talk English or Japanese, I guess, if you lived in Japan. And so that's why, babe, I think you're like Mewtwo. Thank you, I think. Because you're big and powerful. You're hyper intelligent. Thank you.

And you can speak languages. All true. What's Ben Affleck and or Drake up to? What show should I be watching right now? Should the rock run for president? How about Oprah? What's a great French film about lady cannibals? Who's stronger, Luke Cage or Iron Fist?

For answers to these questions and so much more, come on over to Pop Rocket, a pop culture roundtable discussion that always has a fun, diverse panel talking about the stuff we love. Catch us every Wednesday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you decide to get your podcasts. I'm not going to judge. You want to get back to the date?

Yes. Okay, so as Griffin suggested, this is a dog-focused date brought to you by BarkBox. This is a dog-focused date brought to you by BarkBox. And the date is taking place at something called BarkFest, which appears to be some kind of resort for dogs and people. There are dogs in shirts that appear to be kind of Hawaiian shirts in nature. There's a pool. There's an obstacle course.

There's a bunch of inflatables and lounge areas. You made me wish I was a dang dog. Thanks, BarkBox. And Rachel and Peter seem to have a really good time. There's some dancing with the dogs. There's a lot of just sort of lounging and watching Copper, which I think is probably what I'd be doing in any sort of Copper adjacent scenario. Uh, yeah, they just kind of watch Copper together, which who wouldn't want to do?

And I guess Copper has some kind of protection on his cast because he is able to jump in the water. And he does. And he does and he does and she says he normally doesn't like water so clearly he was just he was in the spirit uh and the only thing that really comes up on this portion of the date is rachel says that she would be willing to move if she were to fall in love yeah Yeah. And he says the same thing. He says he actually would be down to move away from Madison. Yeah.

And then it is dinner time. And dinner time also involves Copper. He just hangs out while they eat dinner. And this dinner date. So good. Between Peter and Rachel is maybe the best one-on-one dinner date we have ever seen in the franchise. Let's see. They started out talking.

She asks him about that he has a gap between his two front teeth, which Rachel also has. And they have this like exceedingly charming discussion about it. exceedingly charming discussion about it um yeah they were both kind of notified by their uh dentists that it was an option to have it closed but that neither of them needed to do it for any specific reasons and peter talks about how it's kind of a family trait which i will say also in my family my grandma has a gap between her teeth and so do i so i found it really kind of charming yeah that came up because rachel was saying like if we have a kid this kid is going to have a gap between their teeth yeah it's apparently it's a very common trait in peter's family and rachel said she's the only one that she's the only one i think maybe she has somebody

younger than her and her family that has one but they say like i was a kid and i was like i don't want to fucking fix it like it adds character and it's cool um and so like that was very again like a very very real like i remember that's i think that's when and before this date even got much realer i turned to you and i was like this is the most real ass conversation that's ever ever ever ever happened on a date especially a first solo date, which is just usually like, ha, ha, ha, I don't know you. I'm looking for a partner. So many truth is so – trust is – trusts and family is important to me in such a major way. This wasn't that.

It was like – it was really, really real. This wasn't that. It was really, really real. And so after this conversation, Rachel says, I always get asked this question, and it's super annoying, but I'm going to ask you. You're so great. How are you still single? And this is where Peter kind of tells the story that starts out pretty typical. He kind of starts out saying, oh, well, you know, I've been hurt before. I was in this long-term relationship and it ended badly. But I had a lot of trouble getting past it.

So I ended up seeing a relationship therapist and I found it to be really helpful. And Rachel immediately jumps on board and says, oh, my God, I also went to a relationship therapist and it was the best decision that I made that entire year. Yeah, she says, you're scaring me because I did the exact same thing. I felt undervalued because of this bad relationship, and so I started seeing a therapist. Which, like, this has never happened on this show, and probably is extremely, extremely rare across the entire sort of reality TV show spectrum of people talking about going to therapy in a way that was like completely like stigma and baggage free like it was an incredibly i i never thought i would see a conversation like this happen on the show because first of all it it requires like it does require some level of vulnerability that we just don't get like that it's just not the caliber of conversations that take place on this show um but also because like there there is a stigma about going on television

and talking about this stuff and so it was so it was fucking incredible to see that happen on the show. And that was actually one of the first articles that we pulled to talk about. There were a lot of places that wrote about this, and for good reason. It was largely unprecedented. And the reaction in the room that we watched it was like, holy shit, this is amazing. And a lot of the response that we saw on Twitter had sort of the same thing. But this was an a bustle article by Victoria McNally, Peter and Rachel praised therapy on The Bachelorette and a huge move for destigmatizing mental health issues. And this is just a couple of excerpts. But more than anything else, the most

heartwarming revelation on The Bachelorette was that Rachel and Peter have both gone to therapy in the past. And their open, candid conversation on TV about their experiences was an important step in normalizing mental health. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders affect about 40 million adults in the United States, and only a third of those suffering have actually sought treatment for their symptoms. It becomes even more difficult to talk about therapy across different racial divides. As ATTN, I guess, Attention, notes, black people and especially black women like Rachel

are less likely to seek out mental health support, as many within African-American communities still do not trust those in the medical profession after decades of abuse and marginalization. And then later in the article says, as the first black bachelorette, Rachel has already broken boundaries simply by starring in this show. And now she's used her platform on a show that's seen by at least 5 million viewers, at least according to Variety,

to demonstrate that even the most successful, beautiful, put together people can benefit from better mental health support. That's a beautiful thing. And hopefully the bachelorette will continue to support this kind of open and honest communication in future episodes. Like,

yeah, I mean, whether or not it will continue to be a facet on this show, I think depends on like, uh, two people on the show having the same sort of suspension of, uh, doubt and,

and trepidation about like talking about this stuff on this show where it is not really discussed and that's i think why this kind of came out of came out of nowhere but for me it was like i was i was beaming after this like this was this was fucking incredible i mean not only was it incredible to kind of normalize this very real thing that a lot of people are doing to get help for issues that they need help with. But it also addresses kind of this frustrating component that I find a lot on the show, which is a lot of contestants come on and they say things like, oh, I'm just bad at relationships or like, oh, I just have a lot, have a lot of issues, you know, or I have a hard time opening up or, you know, I'm just closed off. And people always kind of deliver those conceits as if that's just who I am, and there's nothing I can do about it. And it was just kind of exciting to see two

people who haven't yet found who they wanted to find, and are kind of trying to sincerely work on themselves and identify ways that they can be better partners. Like I was just I was excited to see two proactive, like good people talking about ways that they've tried to feel better. I don't like you've watched the show a little bit more than I have, like you started before I did. I've never seen a date on this show where people have revealed so much about

themselves in such a uh open and honest way where it was also received by the other person usually it's one-sided if you think about it usually the way it works the contestant will come on and they'll tell some story and the bachelor bachelorette will be like i'm really glad you shared that with me and that makes it feel bullshit. Like that makes it feel like every other conversation that ever happens where people are like saving these like, you know, tough things about their past to like leverage as chips or whatever. Like that's a really, really crass way of reading it. But it is how I read it because it's definitely what a lot of the folks on this show do. This was just two people like sharing some shit about themselves that they were not like afraid to share and like not only have i never seen a conversation like this like

before i met you when i was dating i don't think i i don't think i ever had a non-televised date where i ever like had such a like real conversation where i was like you know what i'm gonna tell you a bunch of stuff and let's see uh let's. Yeah, no, it definitely made Peter and Rachel seem like a real couple. A real couple. Instantly. Date. The first solo date on the show. Like, I don't want to boil this down to, like, wow, what a wild thing to happen on this solo date on Bachelor.

And, like, gamify it. Although that's certainly interesting. interesting i really think it deserves like commendation that this conversation took place on this television show and was so like cool about it like i i was i was delighted by that so unfortunately we have to move on from that date well they also go outside there's fireworks yeah and they kiss and they're gonna get married and it's gonna be and they kiss. And they're going to get married, and it's going to be great. And they're going to get married, and they're in love. I wrote a note, because you said you wanted to talk about it. We saw a commercial. Okay.

For the gong show. All right, folks. You're doing a gong show. I have nothing to say about this. This is all on you. Justin clued me into this. Minsker clued me into this. He said, that's Mike Myers in makeup. And I said, rewind the fucking tapes and show me that gong show commercial.

But they're doing a gong show remake. And Mike Myers is the host, but they're playing it up like he's some classic TV show, game show host from like the 70s. Yeah, they've given him like a fake name. Out of retirement. It's like Skip Do Rightly or whatever the fuck. TV show, game show host from like the 70s. Yeah, they've given him like a fake name. Out of retirement. He's like Skip Do-Rightly or whatever the fuck. But it's Mike Myers. No.

Nah. See, I thought you were excited about it. You seemed like jazzed. Nah. AP4, man. Where's AP4? Where's AP4?4 mike you don't need to be doing this where's ap4 dude bud you can't pretend to be a old game show host and put on makeup a bunch you're gonna have to put on that makeup every every night that the show's on and do it? And be this other person on TV?

We all know that Mike Myers hates wearing makeup. No, that's not it. It's just, is this one going on the IMDb page or not? And where's AP4 as the other one? I'm guessing his agent was like, hey, if we're going to do AP4, we need to get you out there. We need to remind the public who you are. We need to get you out there by putting you on a game show where you're going to pretend to be somebody else and we won't call you by your real name. And we're going to make you look like the Six Flags guy.

Is that cool? He doesn't look like the Six Flags guy. I don't know anything about this show. We watched literally the last eight seconds of the commercial and I saw Mike Myers like, hey, baby, we're in for a real cool time. Where's AP4? I don't want to put you in a box, Mike. Where's AP4, though, is just all I want to know. Group date?

I'm sorry. I told you I have nothing to contribute on this. It's all right. It's just, I guess you got to do what you got to do. Unless you want to start a podcast about the gong show. I'll do it. Let's do a gong show podcast. It'll be called The Wrong Show.

It'll be like, the whole time will just be us pitching ap4 so in this one i think we actually did an ap4 pitch on it was like the best all-time shit so maybe i was gonna say on this one, Austin Powers is like a Professor X kind of figure. Oh, and he brings together other sexy agents? Other spies. Oh, yeah.

That's good shit, man. That all are from an old time period and they're trying to navigate the modern world. Oh, that's good, man. Fuck. Get at us. But I guess your other one was the best of all times no that one's good too shit and um our friend uh seth oh green our our close friend It was in his wedding. He has a kid. Okay.

And the kid is the villain. We are actually getting into the pitch that we made on the boom-bam at this point. So I do have to sue you for everything that you're worth. Nice try. Okay. Well. Try to incept me. Fair use.

It was not fair use. I'm the property owner here. I'm not. Mike is. But whatever. Group date. Group date. use so it was not fair use i'm the property owner here i'm not mike is but whatever group date group date will jamie diggy alex adam lee matt eric josiah and demario the date card says swish i wonder what they're gonna do uh they all immediately know it's basketball yeah what else do you say swish about um it's like the sound you make when you like get a really good fly fishing cast going but no it's best it's bad

they're gonna play they're gonna all gonna go together to a gymnasium and play basketball with hoops and everything uh so they get to the what appears to be like a high school and a special guest comes out. And Chris Harrison is there introducing the special guest who is none other than Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. So should I, should I read this stuff now or should I talk about it after his sort of appearance? Okay.

So Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, we were surprised when Kareem Abdul-Jabbar came on the show, first of all, because like, kind of a kind of a strange combo was not expecting that. But also because a few months ago during next season, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, who I did not know was also a media critic, these days wrote a pretty scathing burn in salt the earth article about The Bachelor, the headline of which was literally, The Bachelor is killing romance in America. I think this was on The Hollywood Reporter. Here's an excerpt. The real crime is the lack of intellectual and appearance diversity, which leaves the contestants as interchangeable as the Mr. Potato Head parts. The lack of racial diversity has already been commented on. If you're black on The Bachelor or Bachelorette, you're usually kept around as a courtesy for a few weeks before being ejected. Those outside the ideal body fat percentage index need not apply.

With all eyes firmly fixed on firm buttocks, the criteria for finding love becomes how high a quarter will bounce off rock hard abs. Will we ever witness a conversation that isn't so bland and vacuous that words seem to evaporate as soon as they are spoken a little mean uh but equally harmful as the cartoonish physical and mental restriction had restrictions has been the romancing of romanticizing of love as a mystical process that creates unrealistic expectations worse they encourage an urgency uh to fall in love or else be kicked off the show and labeled a loser in society, unworthy of love. This can send a message that those not in a relationship need to hurry up and find someone, anyone, or else face an unforgiving expiration date of loveworthiness. The fact that most of these relationships eventually wither when not nourished by the lights and cameras reveals how

much of a fantasy it all is. The real danger is when we try to apply that fantasy thinking to our own lives. And when we think about where our children learn about the realities of romance it becomes even more important to question what may influence their behavior in choosing a partner those are like it was a pretty long article and that was just a few sort of selections from it but like yeah solid points solid points like yeah if you are the type of person that like bases your expectations on what romance is like fuck all kids do that watching all of the movies that come out like yeah i just like that article felt like yeah no that's true that's all true um but the show doesn't i feel like the show doesn't deny like that's the conceit of the show it's

not like the show is really trying to be anything true but it is the most popular show on television and people are really impressionable about like what how they how they build up their relationship expectations i don't i don't doubt that however here's kareem abdul-jabbar on the on the television show about to run these dudes through some basketball trails leading us to a follow-up uh article also on the hollywood reporter my journey from bachelorette critic to guest star uh and he basically said kind of i mean it's a again i don't want to oversimplify uh he said a lot of the same stuff that ashton amila said which was basically like i like rachel a lot and i just wanted to be on the show to support her uh one quick excerpt after my article

appeared and while vial's season uh bachelor season was being broadcast with rachel still in the mix the producers of the bachelor bachelorette franchise called me up to tell me that the upcoming bachelorette would feature a black woman. Um, which is also interesting because it gives her, it gives us like sort of a better idea of like what the timeline was on this decision. Um, there were three black women among the remaining contestants and though the

producers wouldn't reveal whom it would be clearly racial had been a standout. Then they asked me if I would like to come on the show and run them in through some basketball drills that would reveal some of their character traits to Rachel. As a fan of the shows, I naturally agreed. After the game,

I posed for photos with the guys and chatted with them for a while. Most seemed very humble and sincere in their romantic intentions during Rachel. But for those who weren't, I felt fully confident

that Rachel would quickly see through them and send them to the locker room of love. So basically he's saying, hey, remember all that stuff i said about this show and how it was bad uh i get it now because i like rachel yeah i mean yeah it's definitely yeah but at the same time like rachel's great and i would come on this

show i've been i think vociferous in my uh some of my hatred of a few different elements of the show, I would go on it a fucking heartbeat. I think it's a show that is actively bad for the people who watch it a lot of time. I'd go on it a fucking heartbeat. For Rachel, sure. Maybe not for some folks. If fucking Kaboom is the batch, God forbid, I wouldn't do it for him. So the drills. It's drill time um you know

there's dribbling and shooting uh-huh uh passing there is a lot of sort of in line with like how he justified it in that article about what was the quote uh running them in through some basketball drills that would reveal some of their character traits to rachel there's a lot of that like you know basketball is all about teamwork and you can really tell like who's just in it for themselves and who's going to be a good partner based on how they handle the ball and pass it to their teammates okay uh some some standouts here uh lee is terrible yes just terrible at basketball demario is very good least terrible in basketball in a way that's like really annoying and happens not with just basketball activities on this show but like a lot of activities where it's like,

I'm just going to be so bad at this. It's going to be like a big fat joke. It's like, all right, you ready to laugh? Watch me try to do this activity. Okay, we'll try,

try to try it a little bit. Oh, I mean, I think he was trying. Oh no. I think he was just very bad. Oh shoot. I mean, I am very bad at basketball. You don't know that.

When was the last time you played? I was approximately 13 years old. I played the other weekend. I was good as fuck. I don't know how it happened. I don't know what muscles I stretched. Wait, when did you play? Yeah.

I don't know what muscles I stretch in my day-to-day that, like, made me really it but whatever is it those new shoes you got it's my new shoes yeah they're pk flyers is that right i always quote that from fucking sandlot and i've never like put in the work to learn what the acronym is well but that was for baseball you know what i keep saying pk flyers and it's because i'm thinking of ness's special move in super smash brothers which is pk fire it's because I'm thinking of Ness's special move in Super Smash Brothers, which is PK Fire. It's PF Flyers. Okay. So after the guys do their drills, they find out that they are going to play an actual game in front of a packed crowd of people. This would be bad.

And they walk into the locker room, and they have jerseys ready. Everybody gets so excited with these jerseys. They're just numbers. They're just jerseys with numbers on them. It's not like their names are on them. No. these jerseys they're just they're just jerseys with numbers on like their names around no um we also get a shot to the crowd once they arrive uh aj is at the game his face is very wet his face did look stained with water um which makes me wonder how he's gonna look by the end of his use i know we talked about how um bad that one dude was at basketball but there were a couple of dudes

who were like actually genuinely really really good while they were running drills. But during the actual game, like, or maybe they just edited. I'm assuming high school. Maybe, I don't know. I don't know. But she comments that there are more air balls than actual shots. We also get some looks at the band and the cheerleaders. And Rachel is usually hanging out with the band or the cheerleaders during these shots. She just seems real likable. She's dancing with the band. It's so fun.

We did have some people in the Rosebuddies group. I don't know if you noticed this. We had a Rosebuddies fan who got to be in the crowd shot. Oh, shit. That's right. And we had a Rosebuddies fan that was actually in the pep band that was playing. Both said that Rachel was great and that it was a fun day. Awesome.

Yeah. So, and I wanted to be able to recount this game as an actual announcer like shot for shot uh i think they may have been playing like short quarters otherwise this is the most low scoring game of regulation basketball i think they were just that bad okay it was like what was the score at the half it was 17 14 at the half not not awesome uh demario is very confident demario is he is crushing it he says he says d is for demario defense and dunking and he does all he does all those extremely well uh the the final score is 30 to 26 demario is unfortunately on the losing team which is unbelievable because i think we

single-handedly watched him score like 20 points so he had a lot of dead weight on that team there is a very good shot of him just completely stuffing one of the players on the other team which is like i don't really watch basketball but i'll watch people trying to succeed at basketball and being rejected in the most brutal way imaginable. I love that. I love that. I think I'd really enjoy getting deep into basketball because I just really like watching people get excited because they think they're about to get some points.

And then a person comes by and says, no, you're not going to do that. We should look at some YouTube bloopers. It's not a blooper. It's a blooper for the person trying to achieve the points. For the person who denies the points, it's not a blooper. That's true. It's a great accomplishment.

So DeMario's on this high from the game because he's done really well. Rachel is really appreciating how well he's done. And Rachel is out on the court. The guys are back in the locker room. The game is over. And a woman approaches Rachel and says, Hey, you know, I watched your, your first preview on the, after the final rose, where you got to meet four of the men. I want you to know that DeMario was my boyfriend of seven months,

and we were together up until three days before, after the final rose, when he disappeared. Yeah, she basically said, like, I stopped hearing from the dude, and then he was on television, like, giving you tickets to elope with you. Like, that was the timeline for me. What was the woman's name? Did we get it? I actually didn't write it down.

Oh, no. Yeah, she says that he still has keys to my place. I can, you know, show you text messages between the two of us. And she's like, well, let's bring him out here and talk to him. I want to see what he has to say. This was Rachel. rachel is like let's get the fucking facts straight um getting getting very like litigious about it like let's get him out here and let's all have a conversation about this so i can figure out what's going on yeah and so she pulls him out of the locker room none of the other guys know what's going on she doesn't they think like oh he's getting a rose or something yeah um pulls pulls him out of the locker room and doesn't reveal why she's pulled

him out so he's kind of talking about the game and how great it was and they walk out he sees the woman and has this reaction like okay oh hey who are you it's it's split set it is it is so this this was a huge setup by the bachelorette right like the this was the producers the producers yeah like this was obviously like this is chris harrison's whole thing why would this woman know where they were shooting and be miked and like all of this stuff is like okay so this was this was a setup which is not to say like demario didn't do it or whatever um the reason why i don't think that demario was necessarily in on the setup was sort of his shifting behavior during during this confrontation because seriously this like turning the corner talking to

rachel like i felt really good about the game and being back in the oh hey who's this like it literally changes that quickly like a moment of recognition to like uh-oh how am i gonna play this i have 10 nanoseconds to figure what if i pretend i don't know her who's this and then immediately pivots like okay so i did a date her for a while yeah um you can't do that you can't go who's this to i know so we did date and anybody that's ever been in a relationship with somebody that's lied to them before uh you can recognize this moment where he's trying to figure out what he can still get away with like how much rachel knows and how much he has to reveal at this point uh so the woman says um karma's a bitch uh almost like gleefully as as he this this whole thing is really uncomfortable by the way because this this this woman who gosh i wish we had got her name.

She was going so hard. Like, she was going very, very, very hard. Yeah, she was clearly very angry, very betrayed. Literally going very hard in the paint because they were still standing in the basketball court. Just, like, busting out these, like, these taglines, like, karma's a bitch. Like, as soon as he walks out the out of the door uh and saying like i i've got the text i can prove it you were in my bed when i saw you once you like all of this stuff uh like kind of rachel and demario would be like having a conversation and she would like

just start like shouting stuff i swear on my i swear on my dad's grave what does she say i swear on my like i swear on my two kittens at home yeah um yeah uh and so there's an instinct when you see something like this and i had it too of like whose side am i on you know and and and you know are we on demario's side are we on the woman's side i don't think this is that kind of confrontation. Basically, what is being said is that DeMario was in a relationship with this woman for some period of time. She said seven months long. Yeah. And then kind of ghosted her so that he could do this show without telling her face to face what was up. The timeline being as such that they were like together and then he

disappeared and then was on this television show. And then I guess like they, he, he broke up with her and like texts or something. It's never really made explicit. She kind of airs out a lot of things that aren't exactly related. She talks about how she never got to meet his friends or family. and then DeMario said,

tries to tell Rachel that he cut it off face to face. But the woman says that, that. This is where she says, I swear on my father's grave that this didn't happen. I swear on my two kittens. And she says, you still have my keys.

And he says, what are you talking about? I mailed those keys. He says, I don't have those keys. And then he says, oh, wait a minute.

Okay. So I did, I did have them, but I mailed them to you. She says, I checked my mailbox every day and i didn't see that like this confrontation was like it was really uncomfortable and it was like um it reminded me of like when they do acting challenges on uh like america's next top model or something like that or it's like you have one minute to read this script and then try to like have this uh this fight from a Tennessee Williams play.

Uh, it was just, and this is, this is not what it reminded me of is when that challenge at the, like the breakup museum, where the women had to make up scenarios where they would break up with Nick. All of this is not to delegitimize like what this woman was saying, uh,

about what DeMaria did, except what I am saying is that like, this was, let's, let's goose this thing let's goose this drama for as much as we can when all of the people were like we get one take at this because we can't surprise demario again and then let's just edit it together into something salvageable so if we talk about if we if we're talking about this and it sounds like we are not remembering the facts because we weren't taking this woman's claim seriously. It was just no, this was just kind of how it was edited because it was pretty clumsy. I think what ends up happening. The woman says, I can show you my phone.

And before Rachel takes the phone, she turns to DeMario and says, now, are these texts going to coincide with your story, DeMario, or her story? Did you have something more than friendship? At which point DeMario says, well, we did have sexual intercourse. And Rachel was like, no, that's not what I'm asking. So the texts seem very suspicious because the content that's coming from DeMario doesn't really ever break it off the way that he suggests that he did. And I guess the dates on the text line up as such that they corroborate her story that he just kind of ghosted her and then was on after the final rose, like saying, let's elope, Rachel. And at this point, she's like, that's, you know, I don't want to deal with this. I'm going to need you to get the fuck out.

Actual quote. Very good. Yeah. I don't want to look at you. I'm embarrassed. Get out. And that's. That's it.

Like, she walks one way and Demario walks back to the locker room and shouts, like, sorry, Rachel. And goes and immediately goes and gets in a limo and drives off. And what he keeps saying is, like, he keeps saying, this and gets in a limo and drives off. And what he keeps saying is like, he keeps saying, this is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This woman is like, I didn't go on this show to have my character assassinated. He keeps talking about the character assassination as if that is like the bigger thing for him, which is like, that's probably when something happens like that on a show like this that

you're a member of, that's probably immediately where you go. Like, I'm never going to be able to live this down. this is who i this is who i am now is this is this person who got caught cheating because people fucking people love that shit on these shows like people love just in the rated r reality star walking through the bushes wearing a boot on his injured leg because he got caught cheating as he walks through like a big big bush and climbs through a fountain like that's my all-time favorite shit like that's the thing that people remember about this show and if you were on bachelor in paradise demario this is the clip they're gonna show for you so like yeah your character was assassinated which is not to say like it it these things didn't happen like they

sounds like they did happen and if rachel looked at the text and said get out of here like sounds like the story didn't line up and rachel to be fair it's early enough in the season rachel has no attachment to demario at this point uh i think she even says like i don't i don't know i don't know you yeah like i i don't know whether to trust things you're saying she just seems angry yeah ultimately like a little hurt because you know obviously it's a betrayal of why she's on this show but more angry than anything and she's kind of doing laps around the gym kind of calming herself down chris chris harrison like stands up to like go and talk to her and she just like turns and walks away from him like nope i loved that moment because chris

harrison kind of appears from the side of the camera and kind of starts walking towards her and she's like nope don't even want to talk about it and then chris harrison kind of recedes it's like hey we're not doing the show right now i need a minute yeah it's like this happens a lot this happens pretty much every season of like what am i even doing here is any of this for real like people like the star loses their faith in the franchise it has never happened in episode two i don't think yeah they brought this out early brought this out pretty fucking early why i mean not that's not to say that it's not going to happen again it's just like um i think that there i i genuinely think that rachel had had this feeling of like i don't want to be made a fucking

joke i i think it's a delicate thing when you are the star this feeling of like i don't want to be made a fucking joke i i think it's a delicate thing when you are the star of this franchise because you don't um you don't want to look bad i don't think you're taking such a huge risk yeah you don't want to be taken advantage of by this show and i could see rachel like definitely being cautious about that being the first black lead of of this show yeah um and so to have this like fucking kind of ludicrous and also um stereotypical for this show curveball of like uh-oh he had a boy can you believe i would be annoyed as fuck at that yeah like here i am and they're doing this to me and And I'm just like every other person.

Yeah. So she goes into the locker room to explain to the guys what happened. And she gets a little emotional and just says, hey, like, anybody else here, if you're hiding anything from me, like, please, please just share it with me now. I don't want to go through this. share it with me now. I don't want to go through this. And then they get to the night portion of the date where they go to another kind of bar lobby area that our friends joked seemed like a rainforest cafe. There's like a big tree in the middle of it. The date really turned around here, though. Yeah. So this this has happened before on episodes, particularly of The Bachelorette, where something happens that upsets The Bachelorette. And all the men recognize this is an opportunity for me to distinguish myself as somebody who's serious about her and cares about her and isn't going to hurt her like she was just hurt, which is good.

It's hard not to also be cynical about yeah i mean everybody because it feels like pouncing everybody i think this also happens on the bachelor too like everybody's looking for that character foothold of day because again it's still episode two it's like remember who i am yeah and so all of them are like i know who i can be yeah so josiah who was actually really close with demario earlier in well they had they had a lot of conversation like they were the ones sort of leading this like she's my wife i don't know what you're doing here uh comes out and and says that he feels very protective of rachel and feels really bad that this has happened to her and wants her to know that he is he's

looking out for her and they do some kissing uh diggy says that he really looking out for her. And they do some kissing. Diggy says that he really appreciates that she's somebody who knows what she wants. And that all the men from his perspective are appreciative of that. And then the other guys kind of continue to praise her for her decision and her strength.

Alex sings a song in Russian, at which point she laughs very loudly and all the dudes hear it and say, how'd they get her to laugh? Alex got a laugh. Damn it. Eric also has a good moment with her. It talks about how he's not trying to force things and he just wants things to happen over time and he wants more time with her.

They also kiss. But at the end of the date, things and he just wants things to happen over time and he wants more time with her uh they also kiss uh but at the end of the date josiah is the one that gets the rose uh for for his protective speech sure and rachel tells us that she is grateful for the remaining guys and it's kind of turned the day around she said i think there were eight dudes she said like or maybe seven she says if i had seven roses i would hand out seven roses to all of you like they all really stepped up yeah which compared to her first date where she's like nothing's really happening with anybody here yeah it's like okay uh so they get back to the house uh and news of demario's exit spreads to everybody um and the guys are getting ready for the rose ceremony and when it comes time for the cocktail party rachel comes out in the most beautiful dress i've ever seen in my life it's incredible it's

wonderful it's like black and gold and elegant it looks like a dress somebody would wear to the academy awards it was some met gala shit my mind exploded uh she's she kind of tells the guys what happened with demario uh and then they they toast to the evening um then she goes off with brian brian is the one that she smooched super hard episode one and he was like i haven't seen you this week but uh and then he says you know i understand that you've had a stressful time i want to do something for you and then he takes her to the massage table that they keep on retainer every season they bring this massage table out because somebody has to give a massage. And she was like, this massage table, somebody's looking for trouble.

And he was like, when there's trouble, you call DW. I can give you one of my trouble rubs. Trouble rubble. I was calling. Trouble rubble. Doilid. Doilid. Yeah.

And then I think I can't remember. I think Fred is like has some time with her that gets interrupted and everybody's like, no, they're interrupting Fred. No. Yeah. Fred is with her. And while he is with her, somebody shows up at the gate, wants to get on set, is talking to the guard. We find out it is, of course, to Mario. The guard says, I'll go talk to Mr. Harrison.

And, like, holds him at the gate. Yeah. And so, meanwhile, it's actually, Fred is not having the one-on-one time. A lot of dudes, we see a lot of dudes go through not having the one-on-one time. A lot of dudes, we see a lot of dudes go through and have the one-on-one time. But when it lands on Fred, that's when Chris interrupts and says, just talk to DeMario. He's here. She says, like, shut up, like, in disbelief. And then she has the reaction that I think is fair.

I mean, obviously obviously she could have been like demario's here fuck him i don't want to see him but she's like i'm actually really curious about what he's going to try and say to convince me otherwise and how much of it is like him actually wanting to be back on the show so he can continue to pursue his relationship with rachel and how much was it because like he even talks about like talks about, they're filming him as he's waiting at the gate. And he's like, you know, I just feel like my character was assassinated and I want a chance to explain myself, which is like, okay. Yeah, so she says her curiosity is at an all-time high.

Meanwhile, all the guys find out that DeMario is there and they all kind of start to rally into a pack. And it's not clear if they're gonna like go out and watch based on the preview that we see for next week's episode it seems like there's some sort of confrontation but we'll have to wait till then because it's a non-rose ceremony ending to be continued be continued let's wrap up because that was a that was a lot of talk that was almost as long as the episode itself it's just we got so excited about copper there in the middle um thank you for listening this i enjoyed this episode this was uh this was a real this was a real yeah it was a fun one rager

yeah i don't i don't know if it was like a really fun episode or if it was just fun to watch it with our buddies and like have some drinks and hang out again yeah and i don't again i i feel like maybe it seems like we're discounting uh poor woman that DeMario has clearly betrayed. I'm sorry. We didn't get her name. Yeah. Yeah. I,

I, I want, I want to say like, I, my sympathies go to her to go on a show and, and confront somebody that has hurt you is not an easy thing. So I just want to make clear while it makes good television and a good episode of the bachelorette,

we, we are not excusing his being. No, God no. Anyway, that was this episode. We'll talk to you next week when we wrap up the next one. Thank you for sticking with us as we started to schedule change and push back a day, but I've really enjoyed having a day to sort of digest a little bit.

If you could, I guess, review and rate us on iTunes, that's still a cool thing. please do. Uh, join the Facebook group. It's a very active,

very cool community. I love getting in there during the episodes and like reading people's live comments. If you're, uh, if you're at the water cooler at work and some folks are like, Hey, I love the bachelorette. You can say,

I got a podcast for you. Feel free to recommend us. Um, you can go to maximum fun.org. Thanks to max fun for having us and go to max fun.org. Well, it's maximum fun.org and check out all the great shows. They're shows like judge John Hodgman,

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You can go to McElroy shows.com and check out all the shows and videos and shit we do. Is that it? That's it. Thanks, guys. Thanks for watching. Until next time. I'm Rachel McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. When you're ready.

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