Wonderful! - Roze Buddiez: First Dates

Episode Date: April 11, 2017

This week, we're hungrily tearing into the new Ellen DeGeneres/Drew Barrymore collabo First Dates, in which a bunch of folks go on First Dates with varying degrees of success. It's a breath of fresh air, y'all. MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Maybe you should go and do some contemplating. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. I'm the best of it, and I'm rapping to your poolside. Here to find true love, one man, two men, all the right reasons. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hi, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is Rose Buddies.

In this podcast, this groundbreaking experiment and narrative non-fiction storytelling two lovers dive deep into the love the kissing and love of other people and themselves in a psychosexual journey through reality television. That Gene Siskel, in 1981, called it not existent yet. Yeah. Because we weren't born. Although in 1982, he called it halfway there. Halfway there. And in 1987, he was like, here it goes.

And then people were like, you're talking about two babies. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Gene was like, I'm nasty. What's up? Hi, welcome to the podcast. Welcome back. Did we do an episode last up? Hi, welcome to the podcast. Welcome back. Did we do an episode last week? Yes, of course we did.

I mean, I missed the Adventure Zone last week. We finished up The Bachelorette. That's right. Season one. I guess I forgot because I think you and I were both clinically dead. Yeah, last week was a rough one. Y'all, it was... You know, I always...

So, this is a little trade secret i always listen to the episodes back uh because i like to you know grow learn improve uh and i listened to the first five minutes of that episode and it made it made me anxious yeah like just knowing how we felt i feel like i could go back and listen to any of the podcasts that are recorded last week and be like those weren't't, that wasn't prime material. But things are, thank you very much. There were a lot of people who were very concerned in the Facebook group and we appreciate it. But we are, we're sleep training Henry and it's going really, really, really very, very

well. He took two, two hour naps today. We are literally different people. Last night he slept from like 8 PM until like 3 AM. It was incredible. Buck wild. We are, um,

it's literally like the best thing that's happened to me and like such a long time and we're in much better spirits. And so we apologize for, I don't know, recording while zombies, but, uh, although I will say this,

this individual here that's speaking right now is very superstitious. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. And now I'm super nervous we even talked about it. Yes. Then let's start talking about the strange love between two strangers kissing each other in Chicago in a show that I and Drew Barrymore and Ellen DeGeneres like to call First Dates. Which, by the way, Drew Barrymore is attached to this project. She was in a movie called 50 First Dates.

That's kind of weird, isn't it? I mean, her whole steeze is romantic stuff. Yeah, I guess so. Do you think when they hit episode 50 of this one, she'll be like, Get it! She'll just come on screen and be like, Yeah, she'll come in really close to the screen and be like,

Get it! Do you also think she will be included in a first date? Is she married? I know she was married to Tom Green for a while, but then she is. Oh, wow. Your data is very behind. Is it? She got married again, and I believe she is separated, if not divorced now.

Okay. Yeah. Sorry. When did the Tom Green thing break bad? God, I don't know. 2001, maybe? It was around Charlie's Angels, wasn't it? Shoot.

Oops. Okay. She provides the voiceover for the television program First Dates, which, broad strokes, I enjoyed very much. Yeah. Yeah. I told Griffin, I don't know that we'll ever talk about it again, because it was very difficult to take notes, given the number of couples that are on the show. But I will need to watch it probably weekly just to feel good about the world. Well, that's a lot to put on the shoulders of first dates. Although it's been a stink day and kind of a stink weekend. So like was a nice little amuse-bouche yeah it just felt

like well when you watch a lot of reality television like we do you start to think that people are cartoons you know they're just very broadly sketched you know characters uh and watching this i just felt like this is nice this is relaxing this is real people real people just like doing their best to accommodate each other. And I spent all day fighting with Twitter randos about the whole United Flight thing, which is my own cross to bear. Yeah, you started that. I mean, you didn't start it. Well, United fucking started it.

You didn't start it. But you lit that building on fire. It's too fun to tell people that they should live in a sewer over and over and over again when they, whatever. Okay. It was nice to just watch people be nice to each other for a while. Yes. Which they did. I could also see this show opening itself up to the possibility of people being not nice to each other on these first dates.

But this was a very nice, for the most part selection of of daters so a little history uh in in what i like to call the history corner not okay um so join me in the history corner play the history corner theme music at this point here i mean it'll be like classical music i'll pause so you can this room has four corners one of them's a history corner what are the other three um well there's uh the can i steal you away can i say yes corner yeah we go to it sorry you probably it sounds weird whenever we do the jumbotron spots in the middle of the show um that we're like really far away from the mics it's because rachel makes us stand in a corner of the room that's very far away from the studio there's the corner where we sm stand in a corner of the room. That's very far away from the studio. There's the corner where we smooch the smooching corner.

Yeah. And then there's the quiet corner where like, if the podcast gets too much, one of us will just go and kind of stand there for a little bit. Uh, so this show for States actually started in 2003 in the UK. As all good shows do. And they have versions in Australia,

Canada, and Ireland as well. Wow. It's it's all over yeah what is it about dating shows because this that's like how um if you were the one got started the show that i think started in ireland but it was called like a different show it was called something different and then it was in china and yeah um it was it was all over uh i'm glad it has made its way to the States. I saw some purists in the Facebook group saying like apparently the UK version, like the staff at the restaurant were more like characters.

Yeah, you know, when I went to the Wikipedia page, there was a whole section for restaurant staff that I didn't expand. I thought I liked the bartender here. Yeah, the bartender. The maitre d' maybe came on a little strong. He's a little heavy-handed.

But it was still fun. So the purpose of the show, it's a restaurant in Chicago, this American version, obviously. Oh, we're leaving the history corner now. Sorry, I didn't mean to yank you out of the history corner. Was there more history in the corner? I looked around the corner and it was devoid of history. That was it.

I just didn't want people to think we were still in that corner. All right, I'll play the stinger now that lets people know we're getting back to the present. It was the. I just didn't want people to think we were still in that corner. Alright, I'll play the stinger now that lets people know we're getting back to the present. It was the Back to the Future soundtrack. It's in a restaurant in Chicago, which I did not recognize. Called MK? MK.

Although I didn't do that much fine dining when I lived there. So you lived in Chicago for a long time. Three years. You got your post-grad, your master's degree there in humanities uh-huh i lived two years in lakeview and then a year in hyde park when i was doing grad school and i lived there for a year in roscoe village and one thing i actually like thought about and um obviously my experience was not like this show but like chicago is like the only place that i

did online dating um obviously before we met oh my gosh we should do an episode about that i don't really want to because only griffin did it and then i wouldn't have to share anything yeah i don't know that necessarily be fun for me also i only did it like three times um so it's not like there's a lot of content there this was also like before t. And I feel like Jesus. Yeah, no kidding. The three year swing between when I online dated and people started using Tinder. Gosh, I can't even imagine you using Tinder.

I wouldn't be good at it. I'm 100% sure. But Chicago, I think Chicago is like a good city for this to be set in. Because like there's a lot of like singles there, but also like it's cold 12 months out of the year. And so people just want somebody to snuggle up with. It's a very walkable city. Very walkable. Well, I will say that there are a lot of people from all over the country, which made me curious.

How would that work? Yeah. Did they fly them here to Chicago to do this show? I wasn't sure. There was somebody there from like Chattanooga tennessee and i'm like what is your love the way you say chattanooga chattanooga yeah you like drop it you like there's a diphthong in there i'm a big fan um but yeah it made me wonder like well are you setting them up for a long distance relationship or what's happening right now well i think the people who were from chattanooga there were two of them they were trying to like know as arkham one by one i'm pretty sure that's how it was working um so this episode i think there were

five couples or six couples um that did not know each other five couples that did not know each other they walked them in the door they were blind dates which like i when i online dated online dating it's not really blind dating you get that's like the actually it's the fucking polar opposite because you kind of get to know like everything you need to know before you pull the trigger um who sets them up drew is drew drew's like i got this there's a lot of we there's a lot of royal we like we match these couples it's the love doctor it's the same one that does it for are you the one um they're paired based on quote their likes and dislikes that's as much detail as we get i guess so um so and then they go to this restaurant and they have meals and um there's a bathroom cam there's well which is not

jesus babe not as gross as it sounds there's a camera in in the washroom um where at the sink only you can see people make thank you for designating that you can see people making phone calls to their friends about how the date is going yes and the show is um structured as such that like it's not like all five dates start and then you see all five dates in the middle and then you see the end of all five dates they're kind of like a waterfall so like as one is ending usually like another one is beginning and there's usually like two running concurrently and usually after the dates are over we get a uh confessional cam where both people in the date uh sit down in front of each other say whether they'd want a second date yeah which even in this first episode led to some pretty hysterical conflicts i think yeah um but yeah the whole tone of the

show is like very charming and fun and there's a maitre d who's very like um like love boat cruise captain um and a bartender who's like very chatty and a bartender who's like yeah the bartender is very chatty but also there's a bit where like one couple is being kind of uncouth at the bar and like i half expected him to like goof it off but he kind of just gives him a stare down like don't come on this is a nice restaurant yeah and that's another thing i wanted to say it does seem to be a very nice restaurant very upscale restaurant um so like uh not like they're they're sitting over a plate of nachos or anything there's nothing wrong with that. I would watch that version of the show, too.

I know. I would watch a show called Nacho Party. It just kind of sets the tone of a more elegant evening. You're not even curious about Nacho Party. It's my direct competitor to First Dates, Nacho Party. Eight strangers sit around a giant bowl of trash can nachos. Do you want to describe what trash can nachos are for the uninitiated? Just use your imagination, because it's either going to be as good as or better than you're envisioning it right now.

Big bowl of nachos, eight strangers all just diving in. And you're just eating them and talking and getting to know each other. This is the first round. Maybe having a few, like, margaritas, like,itas like loosen it up and just like having a good time and there is a like a double dare challenge flag somewhere in the nachos okay and if you find that it's kind of like fear factor sort of but they're fucking nachos so it's like if you're why are you i'm actually kind of afraid of like a big thing of nachos because it might make me ill um but you find the flag and then you get to ask out one of the other eight people and you get like solo time right and then if you don't

find the flag and you don't get picked then there's six people left at that point they bring out another tray of nachos and you have to keep going like that until the last couple's just like paired up and that's going to be the worst date because it's like the dregs. But not only that, they've eaten at that point four whole canisters of trash can nachos. What if the flag is like the exact same size and color as a chip? So you don't even know until you put it in your mouth. It's a tough one. Oh, it's not a tough one.

Doug, let's go. That means like you have to eat them so there's no like rooting around for the flag like you have to put each chip in your mouth there's no amount of money i wouldn't pay to watch that fourth date i'm just like what are you what did you say you do so you can't leave even if you don't like who's left at the table i mean you gotta be like polite about it but you've just eaten four giant canisters of nachos and so it's just like i'm a i walk dogs i'm a dog walker i need a hospital okay uh we're about 10 minutes in you want to start talking about the show we've been talking about the show nacho party it's coming

this fall on abc free form who's the celebrity behind it the celebrity behind it i'm so glad you asked alfred molina no maybe no wait who's alfred molina he played dr octopus in spider-man 2 but he's been in other things he's a much more prestigious actor than dr octopus in spider-man 2 it is tony shalhoub oh that's pretty good is it tony shalhoub presents nacho that's pretty good. Is it? Tony Shalhoub presents Nacho Party. I brought you more nachos. That's my Tony Shalhoub impression. I just picture the intro. He's like standing in a big bucket of nacho cheese.

I mean, it would be Guy Fieri. No, he's got enough stuff going on. You're right. He's too busy. We wouldn't want to load him down. Let's give Tony a call. Let's give Tony Shalhoub a call. The thinking man's Guy Fieri. Rom Let's give Tony Shalhoub a call. The thinking man.

Romance beacon, Tony Shalhoub. Oh, man. Let's talk about the first couple. Okay. Okay. Alyssa and Mike. Alyssa is a ad exec. She's 25.

And Mike is 23. He's in PR. These's 25. And Mike is 23. He's in PR. These are locals. These are Chicago locals, I believe. Mike, the first thing we know about Mike is that he brings his own very old fancy champagne to be served. This is a bummer, I think. Yeah. Maybe it's just because I'm not a part of that world that I would even think to like, your drinks aren't good enough.

Here's one that I got. That's better. Can you keep it cold for me and then bring it out and try to impress everybody? Thank you. The other thing we learned about Mike almost immediately is that he's a virgin. Yes. He says something really, like his reason, I do not want this to come across as a judgment of people who are like yeah i just don't want to have sex until i'm married like cool that you do you yeah but he says like i'm a clean guy i'm a clean man i'm a clean man like okay yeah it's

kind of gross that's kind of it's kind of a viscerally like gross way to of of putting it yeah um but yeah he talks about he doesn't want to doesn't want to do it till he's married doesn't want to do the dirty kind of has this attitude of like hey i've made it this far if it takes another three or four years for me to find somebody you know that doesn't seem like that long at this point sure no judgment hey go do it do it man uh alissa on the other hand refers to herself as a serial dater um which you know i we don't find out about her virginity um god babe sorry griffin was taking a drink i just think it would be interesting if every single person that was introduced including the fucking like 75 year olds who were like yep like, yep, I'm a virgin. Deal with it. I am not a virgin.

I am super not a virgin. I'm 75. Handle my flavor. My name is Julian. I'm 27. I've had sex 19 times. 19 times. Deal with it.

With three people. So should we? Because they hop around a lot. But I thought maybe we just stick with one date. I think we stick with one couple and move on or else we'll we'll lose our minds. Okay, so they immediately because they're Chicagoans talk about the Cubs. They're North Chicago and so they talk about the Cubs. She does not like the Cubs. He does.

Tale as old as time and as boring as fuck. Did you watch that? Tale as old as time and as boring as fuck. Did you watch that? There's some police procedural that came out that was set in Chicago that was like, oh, my God, this is going to fucking kill me. It came out while I was living in Chicago. Chicago Fire? No.

That's not a police procedural. They don't arrest fires in that show. Well, no. They can arrest arsonists, I suppose. There was a Chicago show about people that worked in an office, too. It's a play. No, it was like a police procedural where there's this detective, this hard-nosed detective, and there's this corrupt alderman.

But it was like, it came out while I was living in Chicago. And, like, I remember me and Jeremy, and I think Landry probably watched it, too, while we were living together, like, loved it. Because it would be like, yeah, I like deep dish pizza. And I'd be like, yeah, that's us. I'm a Cubs fan. Well, I'm a Sox fan. That's like us. We say those things.

Yeah. Been to the art museum. I know that. The one with the lions. I know it. That one with the lions on it. Chicago. Just hop on the Brown line.

The Brown, I do that one. Yeah. It was a bad show, though. Yeah, there are a lot of Chicago shows. I'm not sure why. I don't know that there's been a good Chicago show in a bit. I like Chicago Hope a lot, but I guess that was like 20 years ago. That was 100,000 years ago.

While You Were Sleeping is a good Chicago movie. It is a good Chicago movie. There's some good Chicago, I mean, fucking Hughes, what's's his face fuck me john hughes john hughes those are all good chicago flicks for the most part no good chicago tv shows though because it's all about just like hey go bears right and then they just look at the camera for 20 minutes uh when they meet alissa and mike they do like a little spin she's like i feel like i feel like i don't know if he says it there's a spin one of them spins she's like i feel like i should spin you and so she spins him and he's like now let me spin you and then he

spins her and it's it's very it's it's also very much like um i don't know how to touch you so let's just run into each other and see what happens oh it's spin okay we're spinning we're spinning and we're spinning i find that very relatable absolutely hyper relatable yeah uh this is the first time we get to see the compressed melon yes which is brought out for every couple because they're all in the same restaurant yes uh and then this is where mike reveals that he has never been on tinder um and he's he said that he doesn't really date very often um he likes to just hit ladies with his pickup line and so she of course asks him what it is the pickup line do you remember god um do you have asthma because you have asthma and she says all right good for you yeah just a really good response to that not a good pickup

line alissa tells us at the beginning and i think it's absolutely true she's like i'm really good at dates and i think that she exactly is it's a fucking like it's a skill like you it's it's a skill as much as like being sociable yeah it's a skill because it is being sociable um but like with these a thousand invisible pitfalls with you literally like all around you everywhere and like knowing where those pitfalls are and how to like how how to like avoid them and be like, I think a really good thing about her is that she's very gracious. And that like, when he kind of stumbles into one of those pitfalls, she's like, let me let me help you out of there. Well, and she like she because so at the next point, she comes up with this just because

they're, you know, they're having an okay time, but it does feel kind of awkward. And so there's a huge leak on his plate. And so she's like, I dare you put that whole thing in your mouth and he like he's game for it and it's like a fun thing he grossed me the fuck she's like let me take a snapchat of you and like he has the whole leak in his mouth and she does just a big can you imagine just a big rubbery leak up in there and i like leaks i do too in small like when I can control the portion size of the leak but a big rubbery leak working on it. I just thought it was a fun suggestion.

It kind of broke the ice a little bit. Broke my heart a little bit thinking about eating a big rubbery leak for like 10 minutes. This is when the champagne gets brought out and you can tell she's kind of like oh neat when he like he's like yeah I brought out. And you can tell she's kind of like, oh, neat. When he's like, yeah, I brought that.

She's like, oh, you brought that? And then she tastes it and she's like, oh, it's good. And like, you know, they're just kind of being polite at this point. And then they move to the bar to enjoy their champagne. And this is where they like, they really connect in a more serious way. Mike talks about how his dad died when he was 12. And it's made him kind of closer to his brother because he had to play more of a role model figure. And this is really meaningful to Alyssa because Alyssa has a really strong relationship with her dad.

And so they just kind of, they just kind of talk about that. And all of a sudden they're like connecting in a more like serious way. Yeah. And Alyssa, like it just really resonates. She gets really emotional. Yeah.

She's just so close to her dad and can't like imagine. Yeah. And so then they, they have their little confessional. They both want to go on a second date. And we get to see them walk out to the car. And he does a little spin. And he's like, that's going to be our signature thing.

And they kiss. And they kiss, yeah. And then they make plans, like, do you want to just go to a bar? And she's like, yeah, let's go to a bar. And so they just get in the car together and go to a bar. Which is the only date of these that I think has a sort of continuation. That we see. We don't know.

Yeah. Maybe most of them just go, like, all right, cameras are off. Let's get wild. Let's go to the Love Motel. You want to talk about Kenny and Christina? I do want to talk about Kenny and Christina. Okay. Kenny.

No, let's skip. Yeah, of course I want to talk about Kenny and Christina.ina uh kenny is 29 he's a salesman from new york uh christina is 34 she's a military veteran we also found out about kenny later on which i think like just to sort of set the stage a little bit he was when he was one yeah he's a ugandan refugee and his his uh dad died uh when he was really really young he was a soldier um over there and he's a prisoner of war i was a prisoner of war and was executed and so uh kenny is a uh his family's from from uganda and he talks about that and it was such a i don't know it was like kind know, it was a pretty tragic backstory about his father. And I only point that out because he was a pretty jokey, jokey dude for the rest of the time.

The first, I don't know, 80% of their date was just them messing with each other. Yeah. And then it got really serious. So he's walking with a cane at the time from a basketball injury that we don't ever really find out much detail about um christina is over six feet tall uh and says that she needs quote an alpha male she talks about how like uh dudes will like try to come come up on her and say that they want to try to climb the tree and she's like nope nope fuck that no thank you yeah um and so she walks up and sits down um and the waiter comes out with the compressed melon uh and the melon that they're serving is

watermelon and kenny immediately starts making jokes and saying like oh you brought you brought watermelon to the two african-american people this was like and it was like these two were like really like their i feel like their sense of humor was so similar because immediately like and it's maybe like there's a really good icebreaker because this is like one of the first things he was saying to christina and she's like christina you hear me right you we're on the same page here right yeah he's like are you gonna bring out grape soda next in Jordan's? And she is just cracking up.

Just like head and hands. He's like, oh, did you think about that? And she's like, no. She goes in the bathroom after that and calls her friend and says, he is me with a penis. Yeah, she says, I'm not going to bring him around the family, I don't think. Yeah. But then she like kind of casually talks about getting shot up. And he's like, wait, what are you talking about?

And that's when she realizes that she's a military veteran. Or she realized she hasn't told him that she's not. She's, oh, my God, I'm a military veteran. That explains a lot. Yeah. She talks about being in the Army and Navy. And she kind of bristles because at first he's like oh you're so pretty for military and well that's the only because

that's a totally like bullshit thing to say about and you can tell he kind of realizes he's like oh well i'm just i'm used to seeing you all in uniforms with your hair all tight and and and that's when he talks more about his experience uh in uganda and his connection to that and his family. And so they kind of like get through that murky water. But yeah, they just they joke around a lot. She like gets up to use the bathroom again. And he like says, oh, perfect timing. And she's like, why are you going to, you know, like, what?

Why? Are you going to do something weird when I leave? And he's like, oh, no, I'm just going to watch you walk away. And she's like. She's like, don't stare at my ass. No. It's just a nice moment. And so they.

Also, I think there's a way where that sounds kind of gross. It was like, it was very playful. No, they were on the same page. Yeah. And so she, at one point towards the end of the date is like, do you speak French? Because a lot of, this is fucking great. A lot of like African people speak French. Uh, and he says, no, but I speak some Spanish.

And then he speaks a little bit of Spanish. That's like, you know, kind of, it's better than I took Spanish for six years and it's better than I can speak Spanish. And then she kind of hides the fact that she is much more fluent than him right her whole thing was like oh well if you can't speak french like you have nothing to teach me and he's like well i speak spanish and he starts speaking he's like so i can uh i can teach you spanish and she's like and then he's like what do you have to teach me and she's like oh i also speak spanish and tries to have a conversation with him and he cannot keep up i think he can

keep up but he's just like so like like shattered he's like oh i thought i had this this trump card to play uh so they go to the confessional and um they get asked if they want to have a second date and she's being really kind of like sarcastic and jokey with him and acting like she didn't really have that good of a time and he's like well if you don't agree to it i'm just gonna start calling you all the time there's some poor taste uh jokes there's a uh a silence of the lamps reference that yeah like stalker maybe could have done without but um um and and yeah so he kind of he says he'd want a second date and then i think she eventually she also says yeah i'd like to go on a second date. And as they're walking out of the restaurant, he talks about how she had him sweating in there. They seemed like a really, really nice.

It was really fun. They were really. It's hard to tell because these people that they're matching seem so compatible. Yeah. Which doesn't always work. It's not like it's not like a lot of. It's not like, are you the one where they just kind of like there's a compatible person in there and then by the end of the season it's like what the fuck were you talking about like yeah the the people that they match up seem like i don't know it seems like

almost all the dates are like good so i think that like whatever algorithm they're using is yeah is is decent it's very clear like within the first few minutes, you can always tell, like, oh, that's why they were matched up. Yeah. Before we go on the third date, Griffin, can I steal you away? Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jounk, jounk, jounk, jounk, jounk, jounk, jounk, jounk, jounk. Oh. It was all fucking the funeral dirge. I think you had some extra chowns in there.

No, I think there were the proper number of chowns. First up in the Can I Steal You Away, we need like a proper noun version. We have an advertiser this week. They paid us money to talk about their goods and services on the show. That's also not very fluid. People have suggested like the palapa, the money palapa. Money palapa is really good and bad also at the same time. It's weird to say. It's a good bad sandwich.

Yeah. But our first sponsor is Try the World. They, uh, they're at the, um. But our first sponsor is Try the World. They're the... You sound a little like Owen Wilson there. Try the World. Come on. Come on, it's me. Try the World.

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I say Nietzsche because they send you Friedrich Nietzsche's work. It's just this box full of very sad stuff. They will enhance your snacks, your afternoon snack rituals with something exotic and also good for you. Yeah, things that you wouldn't necessarily think to try if you saw them at the grocery store. And I really, I got to sample some of these. Yeah. They were all very healthy and very good. So go to trytheworld.com and get $10 off your next box

of healthy snacks with the code ROSEBUDDIES. Thank you, Try the World. Hey, go try the world. That's their tagline. They just say the name of their company. It's a weird tagline. That is weird. And it's also not their tagline. I don't know if they have a tagline. Maybe they're waiting for a good lover podcast

to help develop something like that. You want to hear some jumbotrons?. You want to hear some jumbotrons? I would love to hear some jumbotrons. This message is for Brianna from Marissa. And the message is to my sister Brianna on her 29th birthday. This is the grown-up version of the boosters I used to buy you in the marching band competition programs. What are those?

I didn't do band. I don't know what boosters are. I mean, but you know what it's like to buy an ad in a program. Yes, absolutely. That's what that's like. Okay. Okay. It's like, hey, Dylan, do a great job up there. You're the best flying monkey

in this whole production of Wizard of Oz. Take that and rewind it back. Whoa. Here's to another wonderful year in brooklyn hopefully not encountering any boys like dan daniel the haircutting serial killer dan leo and avi all send kisses and hugs sweet message with like kind of a rap break in the middle of it which i thoroughly enjoy in my jumbotrons um i have another jumbotron here can i read it yes nope this one's for september 19th i can just do this one but i probably shouldn't um here's a personal message

this one's for sheldon and it's from christina who says to my wonderful bear thank you for moving across the country to be with me and our turkey bum dog our turkey bum dog our turkey bum dog. Our turkey bum dog. Our turkey bum dog. You mean the world to me, and I can't wait to start our life together and watch Hell's Kitchen slash Terrace House slash Jersey Shore every night eating ice cream. I love you more than anything. Happy cohabitation, heart. Actually, this was not a typo. There's a new show called Hell's Kitchen, Terrace House, Jersey Shore,

and it is absolutely wild it's about a very rough kitchen in but it's a new season terrace house also and it's in the jersey shore gordon ramsey hansan hansan and the situation the situation was that his name i think so are you sure it's the situation his name? I think so. Are you sure it was The Situation? His name was The Situation? Yeah, because he used to point at his abs and say that... That was his situation? I don't know. I didn't watch the show, but I remember there was a guy. Tell me other things you remember about Jersey Shore, because now I'm fucking in it.

And then there was Snooki. Snooki. Everybody knows Snooki. That's it. Come on. You can give me more. No, that's all I know. Make up some things about Jersey Shore.

Oh, okay. Well, it took place. Make up some things about Jersey Shore. Oh, okay. Well, it took place in an amusement park on the Jersey Shore. A haunted one? Abandoned? No spoilers, Griffin. Oh, no. Three of the kids died in bumper car accidents and were ghosts. Snooki was-

One of the aforementioned bumper car ghosts. Was under a spell. Oh, shit. was one of the aforementioned bumper car ghosts was was under a spell oh shit uh and she could only be released from that spell if um she put right what once went wrong okay so there's a of course there's a quantum leap element yeah so quantum leap um scott pacula leaps into the situation and he was like this is a spacious one. There's a lot of boy here for me to sort of live in. Yeah. And he helps Snooki conquer her fear of roller coasters.

Wow, shit. Which then release her ghosts. Oh, that's sad. That's also not how Quantum Leap works most of the time. I kind of forgot what I was doing halfway through that. It was fun for me, though, as the listener. My name

is Patrick. My name is Parker. MaxFunCon has been a huge inspiration in my life. Now I have this network of friends that I've made that span literally across the entire globe and they're some of my favorite people in the world. I truly cannot believe the amount of wonderful and lasting friendships that have come out of this.

If you feel like you might not fit in, as long as you're a good person, you'll fit in, because everyone there is good and amazing and kind and wonderful, and you should absolutely go. It will be the best decision of your life. Make a ton of new friends like Parker and Patrick at MaxFunCon. Tickets for MaxFunCon and MaxFunCon East are on sale now at MaxFunCon.com. Before we start on this next couple, I wanted to kind of put you on the spot. Oh, fun. And ask you how you thought you were dating.

Because we were talking about how Alyssa was such a good dater. And I feel like you would be good, too. I was good. Yeah, I was very. I feel like you're good at, like, asking questions. Here's where I'm at. I'm very, I'm a very considerate young man. Yes, I'll agree.

um i'm a very considerate young man yes i'll agree and i was very quick to like sort of pick up the um some of the rules of of dating like there is well you're a big rule guy in general i am i well i just like following sort of the societal expectations of you because it's not that fucking hard to do it um it's like not hard to google what's the good what how do you like there's shit like splitting the check like or handling the check or whatever there's like i know that that part of it didn't stress me out um but if i'm being completely honest there are some things that did stress me out like um uh i never really i never really knew how much like physical contact was good or expected i felt that in our on our dating relationship yeah because i didn't know like um oh it's our first date and you've just showed up and then like do i i hope i don't

sound like a big fucking nerd but like do i hug do it is it a hug one of these definitely not a handshake not a handshake it isn't and then at the end it's like that's 10 times harder because it's like is it a kiss one oh man i that makes me uncomfortable thinking about you yeah bud dealing with that i never fouled it up right i didn't like you know i feel like you're good at reading clues i am good at reading clues but i would be i would be there was a point where i would start getting very anxious and then once i started to get anxious about that stuff it would throw off because i'm good at like carrying on a conversation and like um talking talking to strangers for the most part and listening um but like once i start thinking once we get to like the check my mind starts going like oh man what do

we do are we supposed to go somewhere else after this am i supposed to like call a cab and like do we kiss and then i bounce and then like if we do kiss does that how does that affect the next date and like what does that mean that's that that kind of that kind of shit like i was not good at i really wasn't but i think i was a very like nice dude to like yeah go and have a couple i'm sure with and talk to um but i only did it i think i only went on dates with like three women while i was out there and only one of them did i go on multiple multiple dates oh it was like two or three i didn't know about the two or three date yeah i think one we went to get drinks and then one we went to see the fucking.

Oh, is that the 27 hours date? It was much more than 27 hours that the man was pinned under that fateful rock before he could. 127 hours. Yeah. Which is not a good date movie. I think that was it. I think we may have just only gone on two actually.

That's it. Yeah. That set a tone. And the other dates him and I think were just one offs. But I'm glad I did it because it was like, I don't know. Yeah, see, I never did that. Before I met Griffin, I was in a very long-term relationship. And then when Griffin and I started dating, I had only been single for about four months.

So I hadn't really gotten kind of serious about dating yet. And Griffin was kind of my first relationship after that serious one so i just never really did dating yeah uh which became very clear to me when griffin and i decided to go on an actual date and i was a sweaty nervous mess the entire time you really were i just i realized while we were sitting in the restaurant and griffin reached over to hold my hand i realized i had never actually really been on a formal date before which is so fucking shitty man um and i just suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable yeah but i mean you know griffin and i were in a good place it didn't like it didn't change anything for us it was just it was it was

awful i think it's a good life experience to have i also think it's like it's't change anything for us it was just it was it was awful i think it's a good life experience to have i also think it's like it's fun it's it gets fun it's like hanging out and meeting new people like i have i enjoy that and not under the like pretenses of dating like now like i like really like meeting new people and that's kind of what dating is i will say it's bullshit and that like when i was in college and i wanted to date i had no fucking idea how to. And then once you start online dating, like online dating is a whole different thing. And it is like so much fucking easier.

Cause I think I'm good at going on dates, but I think I'm really fucking bad at like initiating it. And when you have internet doing that for you, it's like a different thing. Cause there was like a couple years there where I was like, time to go out. Let me go out to the bar and see if I meet anybody. Oh, nope. Again, of again of course um but yeah should we talk about our first date you were just yeah there's not i guess not a lot happened we went to a a fairly nice restaurant here that was known for

their nice desserts yeah and then i had to get gas on the way there and i spilled gasoline like pretty much all over my pants. Yeah. And I stank so bad. Yeah, the smell was pretty intense. It was very overpowering. And then we were going to go to Barton Springs, right? Were we?

And then we got rained out. We got rained out. Yeah. And I don't remember what we did. I think we went to Grace and Bristol's pool and swam in that instead. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's very very romantic and then um you know you know what happens after that a little bit of that

and of some of that and a little bit of that oh no and a little bit of that that oh no and a little bit of that and a little a whole bunch of that cowabunga dude and some of that on my life and some of that my swamp and so okay please stop i was gonna I was gonna sit in silence until you stopped. But you really got me with my swamp. Everybody, okay, so to walk you through all of that, we played in the mud, and then we watched an episode of The Simpsons, hence the cowabunga dude, and then we started to watch Borat, but we bailed and watched Shrek instead.

Oh, you really put a narrative together. Yeah. I thought you were just- We did not make love. Can we move on? Sure. Yeah. I don't think anybody's still listening, but-

David and Annie. Yes. Okay. Sorry, it took me a second. David is 23 his um his bio tells us that he is a part-time writer we don't know what he's doing with the other part no um and then we have he's living in chicago he's working at groupon no he's from seattle yes he is from seattle which means he works at microsoft no well annie is so. So, yeah, I guess. Yeah, they both are. Annie is 23. She's a social media manager.

So David. David brings roses. First of all, he gives them to the maitre d' and I guess they like whisk them away for later in the evening. He says that in his previous day. That's a fucking. I'm sorry. I'm just not thinking about that's a fucking called shot. Bring these out later because this is going to go so good that she's going to wish I'm sorry, I'm just not thinking about it. That's a fucking called shot. Bring these out later because this is going to go so good

that she's going to wish I give her a present. Why not bring them out first? Yeah, that's a, yeah, again, I don't know.

It just becomes awkward when it's later. Or better yet, don't bring them out because it's kind of a, kind of a whack first date thing, I feel like. I don't,

I don't know. No, babe, it's kind of a, no, babe, it's pretty bad. I guess it's a pretty large bouquet. If it was, what if it was just like, what if it was just like one flower? it's a pretty large bouquet. A dozen roses.

What if it was just one flower? If your production of Les Miserables just opened up, you would bring flowers to that person on their first date, but otherwise, no. So David says in previous dates he's been thrown up on, that he always kind of gets categorized as a nerd, but he doesn't think he is one. And he says there's all these like nerd types out there now, like Benedict Cumberbatch and quote,

the guy that plays Spock and Star Trek. I actually believe that he's not a nerd if he can't pull that dude's name. Yeah. What is his name? Oh, shit. I see. I can't pull that dude's name.

I know I can't either. Which means I'm not a fucking nerd. Is that our test? Yeah, that's name. I know, I can't either. Which means I'm not a fucking nerd. Is that our test? Yeah, that's it. And then we see him at the bar waiting for her to arrive, and he's, like, practicing his voice. He's like, oh, I'm all up in the high register right now. How does this sound? How does this sound?

And, like, keeps trying to get lower and lower and lower, and then is like, never mind, I'll just go high. I was like, never mind, I'll just go high. And we learned that Annie thinks that she is kind of a nerd and is just looking for somebody that she can just hang out with and both be on their laptops and be fine together. And I think, you know, at first I was like, oh, maybe this will work. And then the more you find out about David, he talks about his flip phone and the 30-second Tetris demo on it. This was amazing.

He talks about, like, he says, I got lost in Chicago for like a half hour yesterday and didn't get home until like 2 a.m. She's like, you couldn't get maps out on your phone? He's like, oh, I don't have any pullout. It's like Nokia Razr. And he's like, I don't have maps on this. And he's like, yeah, you know, I just don't see the point in upgrading. I have everything I need on here.

I have the Tetris demo. I can only play it for 30 seconds at a time but why would you want to play tetris for more than 30 seconds at a time which was insulting to me deeply uh he tells her this is the nicest restaurant he's ever been to uh and they kind of they order together uh he gets oh man he says what do you think i would get? And she says, the vegetable tagine. Am I saying that right? I don't fucking know. I've never ordered a tagine in my life.

Me neither. And she says, that sounds good. I think I would like to have some of it. And she simulated her reaching over the table to grab some of it. And as she does, he reaches up a fist. And she just kind of stares at his fist. And he's like, I thought you were fist bumping me. And she's like, no, I was just going to do that. And he's like, he reaches up a fist and she like just kind of stares at his fist. He's like, I thought you were fist bumping me. And she's like, no, I was just going to do that.

And he's like a high five. And she was like, what? No, this. No. She like I think she's trying really hard. She's like, oh, yeah, I'm kind of total. I'm kind of totally a nerd. And she doesn't mean she's like, I hope I hope you don't judge me.

And he's like, oh, no, no, no, I won't. I won't judge you. You can be a nerd and be good at dating. Yeah. Well, I think she's trying to say, like, she's trying to, like, get on his level. Trying to be like, I realize, like, he seems a little bit nerdy. And she's trying to be like, oh, hey, I am too. Let's be more comfortable together.

But it doesn't really work. He, at one point, forgets her name and calls her Amyy instead of annie bad move jack bad form jack shortly after this is when the roses are delivered uh and they're having fondue together and at one point david says i'm fondone that's very good i enjoyed that thank you david that was a treat for me. Thank you. I'm a big fan, David, of your work. Great stuff. So, yeah. So, at the end of the date, they go to the confessional. And they're sitting there together. And there's that question of, like, would you go on another date?

And Annie's like, well, I mean, I had a nice time. But I just don't really think there's a spark. And David looks crushed. David's like, oh, i would have i would have done another but okay no that's fine i mean you know not everything works out we see her about to get in the car and he's like can i facebook friend request you and we do not hear her answer to that question yeah we fast forward um it was it was kind of it was kind of sad it was pretty sad it was pretty sad this was like the first date that you saw that they didn't like really go for it.

And you could, I don't know, in my mind, I was thinking like, oh, he's such a goofball and he's screwing up all this stuff. But you know, she'll still fall for him. And she was like, no, that was not comfortable. Part of it is that we never really find out what he likes. I mean, maybe it happens when they're not on camera. But I have nothing to hold on to with David other than the really awkward stuff. If I found out, oh, he's really into, I don't know, butterflies or something and knows all about all different kinds, it'd be an interesting thing.

And I think there's somebody out there for you, David. Yeah. That also likes butterflies. Somebody using a Nokia 8900 or whatever. You want to play Snake? Let's go. You have a flip phone? I'm still using the solid tablet one. That was me just like three years ago. That was you just three years ago.

Yes, I agree. I saw you print out directions to a place once. Yeah. And we still got married. Yeah, I was still doing that in like 2012, maybe. Unimaginable. Yeah. Richard is a writer and musician and a naturalist.

And Jeanette, I actually don't know what Jeanette does, but 65. I mean, she may just be retired. Sure. But we learned that Jeanette has a bucket list where she wants to jump out of an airplane, go scuba diving, and ride in a hot air balloon. And Richard says that he's kind of a, what did he say, like an odd bird?

An odd duck. An odd duck. He's also a very, very hirsute man, which we find out the reason for later, and it is heartbreaking. Yeah. And at first, you know, like she just just in her appearance, she just kind of seems like a little a little more button up. But he really wins her over right away.

And then she kind of admits, like, you know, I like odd ducks. Yeah. And they have just the sweetest most wonderful conversation he talks about how there's a different he considers himself a naturalist but there's a difference between a naturalist and a naturist yeah and a naturist is somebody who's like a nudist i guess which i've never heard that terminology before uh and a naturalist is somebody who's just like all about the like being connected with nature. He says, but at the same time, if I was naked and out in the woods, I would be totally fine with it.

And she was like, hell yeah, ride dirty. No. She says that word for word. Hell yeah, ride dirty. She does it. They order. And right after they order, he talks about how he's kind of either he or she. Somebody says they're a wandering spirit. Okay.

And that's when they both realize that they really want to go to Ireland and have a real affinity for the Irish. He busts out an Irish accent that kind of got my hackles up. I don't enjoy that so much when people do that. But it was, I mean, you know. It was charming. She was into it. And he talks about how he speaks French and how when he was younger,

he would seduce women with his French knowledge. Only he would say nonsense sentences like, my sister is a happy pencil. Yeah. Neither of them had ever been on a blind date before, and neither of them has been on a date in 40 years. Right. Right. And Jeanette tells us, the viewers about her previous husband being in a lot of pain. We don't really find out much more about that. But Richard tells the story of his wife. And he starts to get a little emotional. And he says, you know, when when she was in chemo I shaved off all my hair and then she passed and I've just been growing it out since then

it's kind of how I measure time which you know gets Jeanette very emotional and me very emotional and you very emotional and they really kind of share a moment and she kind of says something like like god bless you or something and reaches across and holds his hand it's a very sweet moment it's very sweet um and this is where richard says maybe the best thing ever he says i think there's two things

you should do with somebody before you get married you should paddle a canoe together and you should hang wallpaper. So fucking so dead on. So genius. It's especially sort of, that stuck out to me because we've been watching Amazing Race. Yeah. And this season of Amazing Race is, so Amazing Race is usually like two people that know each other very well

travel the world together. So like romantic partners or family members or, like, just best buds. Or, like, father-son. Father-son. And this season, it's just strangers, just, like, randos that pair up in the first episode and run. And watching, like, strangers try to paddle a canoe together is like, oh, no, you're doing it so bad. Yeah. You and I are really good at it, I feel like.

We've gone out paddling a couple times. We have, yeah. We have. I feel like you did the majority of the paddling until your back really started hurting. Until my back fucking went out because I'm 120 years old. Was this our first date? This was definitely a date we went on early. This was not our first date.

I would not let you see me do physical fucking activity on our first date. We definitely did it early in our relationship. My donkey. My donkey. My swamp. Did you think my swamp would work a second time? Because it will not. My swamp. No.

My swamp. No. My swamp. My swamp. Okay. All right. It does. It works. my swamp my swamp okay alright it does it works baby can I do something yes can I get on my phone and look up who the actor was that played

Spock I was surprised that you had held back this long I was trying to do it earlier but you were looking at me like you're mad at me um yeah that's what he looks like who's the fucking what's this zachary quinto okay that was the loudest time you've ever no look you can look at the sound waves and see it wasn't that loud zachary quinto was his name well it startled me

i scared you by saying zachary Quinto's name? It was so loud. I'm sorry I shouted Zachary Quinto at you. Please don't. An inch away from your face. I'm sorry I got up, ran across the room, put my mouth right in your face, and shouted Zachary Quinto. I was in the quiet corner. You were in the quiet corner.

I was mad, because I was in the history corner. You were in the quiet corner. I was mad because I was in the history corner and I wanted you over here. So I leaped, I leapt at you and I shouted Zachary Quinto right into your open mouth. And I'm very sorry, but Zachary Quinto is the actor. Yeah, I never pulled that. By this point, dear listener, you've almost certainly tweeted at me the name Zachary Quinto. And I want you to to tell you i want you to tell you that you've been redundant i want you to tell you you've been redundant zachary quinto he was on lost wasn't he quinto maybe there were a lot of people on lost a lot of folks were on lost weren't they you want to name all of them michael mike no i can't matthew fox matthew fox not michael fox

evangeline lily evangeline lily who is the handsome one who played sawyer oh josh josh holloway maybe and then hurley who can forget him and there was dominic and michael and walt and the dog no no you're just you're john lock he was spooky sometimes and the smoke monster and benjamin linus benjamin linus was good or was he bad he was very bad spoilers i think it was good sometimes, though. The show got confusing. You want to do the last couple? I would rather we not. But let's go ahead. They just didn't do it for me. No, I know.

Catherine and Woody, both 27. You remember Woody from Lost? No, remind me who he is. Is the cowboy toy stupid? Catherine says she's a seven-time bridesmaid. She has concerns about her eggs getting old. And this is her first blind date. All right.

And then Woody is a carpenter, has a very long bushy beard. A great big bushy beard. He says that he doesn't need a woman that's a supermodel, but he thinks he's pretty attractive. And so he'd like her to be attractive, too. This is one where, like, the algorithm maybe didn't seem so hot. But at the same time, she also said, I want somebody completely different from the people that I've dated. And so this dude definitely seemed different from the people that i've dated and so this this dude definitely seemed different from the people she's dated is she kind of her opener they're like sitting at the bar having lots of drinks and uh at one point she says wine makes

me crazy champagne makes me psycho and i've had both and he's kind of like all right here we go and uh she tells the bartender uh can you get it something like, can you get him a shot of tequila? And he's like, how about two shots of tequila? And she says, no, I've only eaten half a granola bar tonight, which is actually pretty great. She also says that she is a vegan by day, but a carnivore by night. But she says that usually when she is eating meat, she is not sober. And then he says, I won't force you to eat my meat yikes yikes uh she puts her leg out so that he can feel her calf uh and she says normally i'm more fit than this but i've

just had surgery and he asked her about the surgery and she kind of pauses for a while and then kind of gestures towards her uh her chest region and at this point there's a wrapping at our window and it's um the wrapping of my bony hand as my skeleton peeks in just to check on how we're doing just to see if it's safe and he's like nope still not safe he said i i left when i heard the meat thing and i was like i thought i could come back in at this point there's been a full commercial break but no it's still unsafe in here no and he's like he's just kind of like oh i was really curious about those you know i can see him and i just was curious i mean he said what he says is she says yeah they're these are fake and he says well i can see them and i'm not gonna touch them but if i can see them then they're not fake that's what he was saying oh i see you just had a

yuck face on your face uh then they both that there's anything yucky if you augment your body, whatever. Go for it. No, of course not. I do find conversations about it a little uncomfortable. Conversations on first dates about it with this level of frankness may be a little. So they're having lots of drinks and he goes to reach for his wine and accidentally grabs for the vase. And she makes a joke about it. And so then he picks up the vase with a flower in it

and drinks the water out of it. And then she does the same. She thought it was kind of charming. But this is the, she was like, ha ha, you're going to get us kicked out of here. And the bartender's just like staring at them like, what the fuck are you guys doing? This is a five-star Michelin restaurant.

And then this is where she makes. I don't think Michelin gives out five stars, actually. I said that and I realized it was wrong. I don't think so. And then this is where she makes the wedding crashers reference. Oh, my God. It's 2017. It says something about like, if you leave me.

If you leave me, I'll find you. Yeah. And he says, that was scary. I mean, I get the reference, but it's still scary. And I'm like, I mean, it's not scary. It's just like a reference from a movie from 1990 BC. And this is when, like, he's, I think he's trying to figure out, like, is there any hope for us? And so he talks about how he, like, likes to go out in the mud and the outdoors and canoe.

Weird that there's a canoe discussion. I know, right? She's not really into it. Not interested. No, thank you. out in the mud and the outdoors and canoe and uh weird that there's a canoe discussion i know right she's not really not interested no thank you um and then the check comes and it's a thing and it's a thing he doesn't open it yet just says like i'm not gonna look at it i just want to see where you're at on this and she says well i think the man should always pay and he looks at it and then decides to go to the bathroom and she's like are you gonna run out on me and he's like no no no and so he gets in the bathroom he calls his buddy and says it's like a 200 check she wants me to pay i think i'm gonna have to get out of here um but

then he does come back um and proceeds to tell her oh it's just so much money i want you to look at this and like makes her look at the receipt. This is the worst way to handle this, by the way. I don't know that there's an agreed upon all-time best way to handle the check. Yeah, he could have just been like, this is a lot for me. Would you mind helping? That even would have been fine. But not to be like, look at all this.

I just want you to know what I'm about to do. And she's like, i have hairpins that are more than that this isn't a lot of money there's a lot of conversation happening here uh so they get into the little after confessional booth and for some reason at this point also when he reaches over to like uh i put the check down he knocks over like this huge glass of wine on her phone yeah uh they in the confessional booth she comes in and she like puts her hand all over his face uh and she's like yeah it's him and and it kind of seems like oh they have a fun they have a fun thing happening not to me i don't know i thought like maybe this is like a fun kooky couple it

struck me as these are two people who are on a television show and acutely aware of it and have no idea what to do with their hands right now so the producer asked them are they going to go out on another date do you want to see each other again and he just very frankly says i do not want to see you again there's also this cute build-up where they're like you go you go for i i was waiting for you to go and he goes i absolutely do not want to go on another date and she's like oh i thought i was ready for marriage uh which i like goofing like obviously joking um and then he's like well you know but the sex would be great that was kind of a weird weird thing yeah um but she's like well i guess she's like no that's that's awful we're gonna have to get divorced and he's like what are you talking about we're not married real sam and sam and diane vibe between these two is that good did i reference it good yeah

no that's right i'm watched cheers yeah that's actually that's how you say the show cheers cheers question where everybody knows you sometimes you want to go uh so those are the ones that i think those are the five first days those are the five first dates on first dates we're not going to do this one again though because it would be it would after a while it would just be like name did this to name and it was so wild i i will continue to watch the show i loved it yeah i liked it it was it was um you and i like pleasant tv we do like that's our whole fucking aesthetic now these days it's like it's true either comfort food tv like buffy or just like pleasant tone terrace house terrace house only which we have we are slow dripping that fucking second chunk of it

we still haven't finished the second chunk please don't spoil it we can we say lots of people i get like we want to have a discussion and we are very diligent about keeping the spoilers away from people's eyes sometimes i see spoilers because we just we don't approve the post and it bums me out because i don't want to i know i finally released some aloha state posts um that i've been holding for a while i guess it's been a while because i figured all right i mean i hate i hate to release spoilers but people want to talk and talk, and I get it. I'm excited, too. Yeah. Zachary fucking Quinto. Can't believe it.

You're just so good. I'm losing my edge, babe. Younger man? Would have pulled Zachary Quinto, no problem. I want to thank folks who have been sending stuff to the P.O. Box. We have a P.O. Box here in Austin. It's P.O. Box 66639, Austin, Texas, 8766. I don't know why I'm slurring so much.

I've had like half a beer tonight. I think we're just still a little bit worn out. Specifically, Kathy sent us a really nice corn-based cross-stitch that says, My heart is gold, but my vagina is platinum. And Casey sent us a movie that is supposed to be very Bachelor, Bachelorette-inspired from, I think, the year that that show started. It's not the movie The Bachelor starring uh chris o'donnell no although we should watch that at some point have you not seen it i'm just too curious have you not seen it so funny dude have you you haven't

seen it i've seen it but i saw it a very very long time ago and it probably wasn't very funny okay i think he like puts out an ad in the newspaper that's like if you marry me i'll give you a million dollars it's like just like a bunch of women like trying to marry him oh that's fun is it no not at all um yeah thank you to everybody who's who sent us stuff we really appreciate it we get a lot of really sweet letters and really sweet i gotta turn my phone off because now i'm just looking at henry pictures um we get a lot of sweet letters and wedding invitations and stuff like that in the p.o box and we really um appreciate them we don't respond to nearly any of them which i apologize for but we really do get a pretty large volume in oh and thanks to erica huff who

sent us oh yeah the for the max fun donors this year you could get a uh a rocket shaped candle yeah and she sent us some some that smelled like roses. It was really sweet. Really nice of her. Thank you. Go check out all the shows on Maximum Fun. Go to MaximumFun.org and check out all the podcasts there. There's really good ones like One Bad Mother

and Stop Podcasting Yourself and Jordan Jesse Go and Beef and Dairy Network. Baby Geniuses. Baby Geniuses. All really, really good. Lady to Lady. Lady to Lady. Lady to Lady.

There's a ton of really good ones. All at MaximumFun.org. If you want to hear other podcasts with us in it, go to McElroyShows.com. Check them out there. I think that's it, right? Yep. All right. Thanks for listening, everybody.

Until next time, I'm Griffin McElroy. I'm Rachel McElroy. When you're ready. Final Rose. Stay with us on this journey of joy. Spoiler alert. She is up with Soulja Boy. Right reasons.

Right reasons. Right reasons! Getting bigger! All four seasons! Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. Hi everybody, I'm Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. And we host the first podcast ever made my brother and my brother made.

Every Monday, we put out the first ever advice comedy podcast ever. They found our podcast on Dead Sea Scrolls. We're the Hammurabi Code of podcasts, and we're ready to entertain you with jokes. So we invented the first jokes. So join us every Monday on MaximumFun.org. You'll never crack our code, Dan Brown. Just try me. It's history in the making. And in the faking.

And it's all yours for the taking.