Wonderful! - Roze Buddiez: The Dating Game

Episode Date: April 17, 2017

Holy shit, what a trash fire. We're sorry we made anyone watch this. Because, like, DAMN. Every minute of this thing was worst than the previous minute, and this bad boy started out with a pretty rough first minute, so. WOOF. MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Maybe you should go and do some contemplating. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. Right reasons, right reasons, being a good girl for all the right reasons. I'm the best of it, and I'm rapping to your poolside. Here to find true love. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Live from the street audience, it's the time for everybody's favorite podcast. It's me, your host, Chuck Woolery, really.

I'm here. I'm alive. I'm alive? Is he? I don't know. And I'm here to welcome everybody in our studio audience in Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida, to Global Guts. Rose Buddies.

Global Guts. Yeah, Chuck Woolery hosted Global Guts for a grant. People didn't know that. I'm Griffin McElroy. And this is Rosebuddies. And this week we have made a mistake. I thought... So...

Walk us through it. Walk me through it. I'm going to go fucking completely hands- this venture here's what happened i was in here recording the hit uh comedy advice podcast my brother my brother and me i had my laptop open i have facebook open i saw posts in the rose buddies group pop up from you and you're like what's up tune into this episode of the dating game it's popping off and i was like oh i guess we're watching dating game this time and so i'm i'm saying that and i don't mind throwing you under the bus because you i had mentioned to you wouldn't it be cool if we watched one of those old dating game shows for the next episode and you said that sounds good and so i thought that

was just the go-ahead um what made me think of it is that they're bringing back the love connection uh which i could not remember that was the show that was being brought back so you picked this one so i picked the dating game which um has been brought back previously it's been revived three fucking times which is like i think if a show gets revived once it's a good show and they meant that they were like we need more of this show and if it gets revived the second time it's like okay what are we doing and then if it gets revived a third time it's like this is now a bad show i think yeah so i thought let's get back to our roots you know we're watching a lot of reality dating competitions fair let's see where it all began and i guess this is where it all began um we watched one episode of i i don't even

know where to fucking begin this thing was such a this thing was such a trash of, I don't even know where to fucking begin. This thing was such a, this thing was such a trash fire. And I don't, I think that when you talk about something like this, you're supposed to have like an air of reverence to it. Like, oh, it's the, it's the, you know, the Dead Sea Scrolls that like informed just like everything that came after it. That's not what the Dead Sea Scrolls were. That was a bad metaphor. But, but at the same time, I thought it was a very bad television show and i think anybody who watched it back in the day which i guess was everyone um likes trash dumped all over like

dumped all over them and like once all the trash is out of the can and all over their body they keep holding the can upside down so all the juice runs out on them also the thing i don't understand i guess why people kept watching this because it is so fast like all the little juicy moments that you might be like oh that was interesting like it just goes by so quickly and you miss it yeah um wait i want to give a little bit of the history please uh so it first aired in december 1965 uh and jim lang who is the host that we watched yes we watched an episode from from 67 which had been some i also apologize because the youtube link we sent around had been like fucking chopped and screwed where segments were like taken from the middle and put at the end and all that jim jim lang was the host from 65 to 1980 so he like he did the whole first run his I didn't let's just say this and I'll

leave it here I'm a Chuck Woolery fan more than yeah this I enjoyed Chuck Woolery's work more than this particular gentleman's work because the work he did was not, it was, hey folks, welcome to the studio. Got lots of flowers. Flowers are really hot right now. Okay, Jim. Flowers are really hot right now. We need to make sure we get some tulips in here so the ladies can pick the petals off

and do the, does he love me? Does he love me not? And maybe if things get really passionate, we get an orange blossom. What the fuck are you talking, and now to the show. That was it? That was your fucking button, Jim? Yeah yeah i guess he does like a little monologue

every week gotta get some american red roses in here because the ladies love that and uh let's start the show that's your that was it so griffin mentioned chuck woolery because uh in 97 when they brought the show back for the third motherfucking time. Chuck was the host. Chuck Woolery hosted it. We watched an episode of that. We'll put the link up for that. I think let's talk about our experience watching the 1990,

I think we watched a 98 episode the year before it was finally harpooned and burned at sea. But for now, let's get back to 67. Yeah. And what a rough time it was, apparently, for all of us. Yeah. So most of you probably know the format because it's been parodied a lot.

But there is a Bachelorette and three Bachelors that are brought out. When I was researching the show, sometimes it's one bachelor with three bachelorettes. Oh, okay. But very, very, very rarely. Okay. The episode we watched had two of these like rounds

and both of them were one bachelorette and three dudes vying for her heart. Yeah. So the woman sits on one side of the screen and then three men

sit on the other side and she asks them rapid fire questions and they have to kind of come up with clever answers that'll get her attention. What struck me was like how I don't watch a lot of old TV or really old movies. Like I feel like I didn't watch some like film classics like any hitchcock movie or um any uh frank capra movie like any of those flicks that i know i watched and like enjoy and i appreciate them but i think it's because for a long time growing up i just had this thought in my mind of just like well those old things aren't as good as the new things because

we got better at making the things yeah and holy fucking shit does that axiom hold true for the dating game because it was just like it was we could post up a fucking gopro in the corner of our room and just like get four strangers in here and do a pretty decent job like remaking the sort of hyper casual environment of this episode of the dating game it was very just like a bachelor number one you just did bachelor oh sorry i mean bachelor number two um same question What was the question? What was the question? Oh, the question. Like, no fucking kidding. Just aired all of this, huh, ABC?

Yeah. This show ran for such a long time, and from this original run on ABC, there's only 25 episodes that survived out of probably hundreds. Because I learned this while I was researching this abc used to just be like all right everyone saw it time to delete it forever and now it's just fucking gone so there's like no archiving of all this stuff um uh which is wild which that's why you can't like find uh we'll talk more about this as well but there were a lot of

celebrities that have been on the show and you can't fucking find them anywhere because abc be like did you see it okay it's gone but maybe it's because it was like so bad and they didn't want folks i don't know getting on proto youtube and yeah that's really interesting uh because it's on the game show network now isn't it it was on the game show network but like the new runs were on the Game Show Network now, isn't it? It was on the Game Show Network, but, like, the new runs were on the Game Show Network. The original, like, ABC run, like, is just gone. Yeah. Except for 25 episodes, which I guess this is probably one, based on the fact that we saw it, is one of them. So, yeah, just, like, super, super casual and, like, not, i don't know what i'm trying to say here i felt

like i was watching some like college television stations like first attempt at making a a dating show there's like no there seems to be no preparation for anybody that comes out on stage right like they don't i mean clearly they don't know the questions they're going to be asked but they also don't seem to have prepared like snappy snappy like banter either yeah although i will also say the 1998 version we watched was also no fucking spring chicken so uh and i think it's the format the format sucks it's a bad fucking idea idea. So we meet our three bachelors. There's Al Gonzalez from San Antonio who wants to be a writer slash English professor. There is Truman Coggins from Torrance, California. What happened? Did you not get the last name?

Well, my handwriting's so bad. What did you write down? Can I see? It looks like Truman Loggins. Truman Loggins from Loggins and Messina. Like, or from Kenny. Kenny's little brother. You know Kenny Loggins is the Loggins and Loggins in Messina, right? No, I didn't know that.

I don't know what Loggins is in Messina. Oh, Rachel. Oh. Truman is relatively undecided about what he wants to do with his future but he is a student and studying psychology he is reclined in this seat more than i i'm surprised i'm surprised that the seat was able to like withstand the tremendous amount of pressure he was placing on the very tippy front and top of the seat. So intense was his recline. Truman came in as a real cool customer.

That's the thing. If your name is fucking Truman Coggins, like... Griffin and I thought for sure he was going to be a frontrunner right away. Until he started to fucking talk. And then from Pittsburgh, we have Alex Abrams, who is interested in studying law, is currently a college student also. So it's all college students. Yeah. And our bachelorette is Olivia.

She is fun-loving, enjoys dance and music, plays the bongos, drums, and cassonettes. Hell yeah. And is also a student. And again, they do have the screen between them so you cannot and she did not hear the introductions of the men she knows nothing about them no and later on we learned

that they are not allowed and by later on i mean 1998 they're not allowed to ask name uh occupation uh age or salary those are like the taboo topics that they're not supposed to ask. Otherwise, you'd just be like, what's your fucking, what's your bank? How are you doing? If you were to set aside 10% of your earnings for retirement. Yeah, sure. What would 10% be? How much would that be? No, come on.

What, if your name were to rhyme with a fruit, what would be the fruit? Now that's a question and a half. If your name were to rhyme with a fruit, what would the fruit be? What possible parcel of information would you be hoping to... Oh, Rachel looks very embarrassed right now. That would only work if your name was like banana crapple. I thought for sure I would come up with one. I'm Nanana Crapple, and I'm so glad you've asked me this question.

I'm Nanana Crapple, and I make $55,000 a year. I'm trying so hard right now. I'm trying so hard right now. What if his name was Teach? Teach Nanana. Shoot. I'm so glad you've asked. I thought this would be easier.

It's not. I'm literally running through every fruit I I thought this would be easier. It's not. I'm literally running through every fruit I can think of. They're doing their best out there on the dating game from 100 years ago. This is all I'm going to be able to do the rest of the episode. But we could also talk about the notes that we've taken. Okay. All right. You keep thinking about it.

You're better at that. I definitely will. While I'm talking uh okay so then all the men say hello to olivia which is the first time she hears their voice and bachelor number two truman says hi sunshine but the other guys just say hi olivia so not not particularly what would you do off the bat by the way we're gonna be role playing a lot this episode i think if i was like uh bachelorette number one uh can you say hi what would you be like what was what was your fucking game be i'm gonna close my eyes and imagine there's a screen between us hi i like that um oh wait no i got one i got a better one i like that because it sounded like

you were trying to think of something funnier to say? I got a better one. Okay. Hey. Oh, that's good. Yeah. I got chills. Right? Is this what ASMR is? I think so. I talk a lot with the boys about ASMR and I pretend like I know what it is, but I don't.

What would you do? I'd be like, hey, what's up? Hey, how's it going? I'm Griffin. I don't think you get to say your name. Hey, I'm Griffin. I'm 29 for one more day. What do you want to do about it? I don't think you get to say your name. Hey, I'm Griffin. I'm 29 for one more day. What do you want to do about it?

I don't think you get to say any of that. Hey. There you go. Because it would let them people let them know like I like to have fun. Hey. That was almost like a like a Will Smith laugh there. That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me in both of our lives. Barry. What if the guy's name was Barry?

There it is, babe. You got it. Or Larry. Or Jerry. That's essentially a question where you're saying, is your name Barry Jerry? It's like the most specific guess who prompt ever. Okay, so this is when The bachelorette immediately launches into questions and we're talking like rapid fire here so usually she asked the same question to two of the three

guys which like putting me at edge because like some of the questions were so bad and are like impossible to answer with like any level of charm or wit that I would just pray to God I'm the one that that question skipped over. So the first question is, tap your head and rub your belly and say that you love me. And two of the guys do that. It was fine. I mean, it was degrading, but it was fine. It was fine.

I mean, there's a lot that's degrading in this show. Yeah, let's get to the degrading stuff. So the woman, the bachelorette, Olivia, says, you've really upset me. Tell me that you're sorry and do something to cheer me up. you're sorry and and do something to cheer me up and um bachelor number one says i would tell you i was sorry if i did something that i was sorry for he like he didn't get it like he didn't get the prompt you've done something that upset me say that you're sorry and he's like well i would first think about what i've done and i'd ask you what I've done. And if it's the kind of thing that I should apologize for, then I would think about apologizing for it.

Like, holy shit, dude. Yeah. And she's like, no, just try to make me feel better. He's like, it won't happen again. Yeah. The first thing is what you really meant, though. At first, I'd really do a fucking deep dive into the situation to realize if I had actually made a mistake or not worth apologizing for. Can I ask a clarifying question?

How long have you been upset? And is there something else I would rather be doing at the time? It's pretty awful. It's really rough. But God, we've only just begun with the awfulness. Let's see. I'm going to skip around a little bit because some of the questions are just boring yeah um there's one i'm just like really stoked for i know uh well we find out

her nickname is liver and so she says my nickname is liver how would you guys feel about that and everyone's like liver ugh and then bachelor number three says well it's it's not one of my best foods it's like nobody gets it nobody had any game back then like their responses were like it's a gross nickname bye next one next question i'm crushing this yeah my nickname's liver that makes me want to barf next one good. This is very different from the 90s version. In the 90s version, it's like, I want to fuck the liver. What? When I see liver sitting on my dinner table, I just want to squeeze its breast softly.

What the fuck, 90s? And then everybody in the audience would do the 90s reaction, which was, Wow! It was the 90s reaction, which was, Oh, wow! It was the 90s. The bachelors get asked about the difference between a man versus a boy. And then bachelor number three says that you handle yourself appropriately

in front of the opposite sex and you leave childish things behind in junior high. Is just like the bible verse yeah uh so here's the question griffin's been waiting for which is and i don't want you to think i'm excited about it because it's so good and the responses were so great uh the bachelorette asks is man superior in all oh that's not even what i was psyched about no this is i'm psyched for a different one um yes is man superior in all ways no i wasn't excited for this one because this one was just like full-blown like yucky uh i expected at least one of the two dudes to just be like, you know, I don't really. It was fucking 67. So, like, we weren't, not that we're there, but we're closer, certainly, than we were in 67.

I certainly thought one of these dudes would just be like, you know, you know, I think. But, no, it was. Yeah, no. Bachelor number one says, not always. A man can't walk around with the wiggle. It's like you went double deep. Like, your answer wasn't just neutral bad. Just like, you know, I think men are better at a lot of stuff.

Yeah, that would have been rough. Your answer was the worst it could maybe possibly be, which is. It's like offensive in like maybe five or six different ways. It was profoundly offensive. And it was the fastest answer you had prepared. I know, that's true. Everything else is like, well, first I would think about whether or not I was actually apologetic for the action that had been carried.

And this was just like, yeah, that ass is something. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Griffin and I thought for sure she gets 60 seconds to decide when they go to a commercial break. She comes back. She picks the wiggle.

She picks the wiggle man. She picks the wiggle man. Not Truman. Walton Goggins. Not Slouching Goggins. Not the. It was not not slouching slouching goggins uh not the it was not a slouch this was a tactical fucking cool lean and her reasoning for picking number one because they always ask is that he had a sexy voice you've disappointed me olivia no clearly none of the answers mattered at all well i mean she didn't get that much i'll say this she didn't get that much good actionable information yeah right it's true a lot of these a lot i feel like a lot of folks who come

on this show they just treat it like a fun afternoon and not like a game of verbal chess because you need to extract as much actionable data from these clown people as you possibly can to inform your decision and i don't i don't think she got yeah because it is just a date that is the difference i think between like you know the bachelor bachelorette you know they're they're just winning a date so there's not a whole lot of pressure for the date we saw they had to fucking fly together from los angeles to fucking vegas yeah to like spend a whole night together and then fly that's a lot of time to spend with somebody whose voice you liked once uh so this is what i appreciated so bachelor's number two and three that did not get picked to get a clock to get sent home with a clock i like that i wish for all of the times that i had been

dumped um and it was not it didn't take the course of 11 minutes to get done um i had gotten some sort of clock out of it. I think that's nice. I think that's a nice gesture. Here's a nice clock. Griffin, you've only been dumped like once or twice, right? I've been dumped a couple times. A few times. So you'd have two clocks?

Two nice clocks. Yeah. I'm just saying they stung both times. And it would be nice to have something to dull the sting vis-a-vis a clock. A nice clock. And people would come in. Actually, I don just saying, like, they stung both times, and it would be nice to have something to dull the sting, vis-a-vis a clock, a nice clock. And people would come in, and actually, I don't want that. Because every time you look at that clock, you would remember, and you would think about.

Be like, what time is it? Time to be sad, yeah. Time to be sad. And what a poignant, like, what a poignant, like, totem. Like, what a, like a, like an object. You couldn't pick, actually, something maybe more symbolic than that. What is that? The time I wasted. like an object. You couldn't pick actually something maybe more symbolic than that. What is that?

The time I wasted. Denise. Just keeps ticking. It's all gone. Even though my heart has stopped. My heart keeps going, but the clock is something. See, I was doing the opposite thing there. You were doing the opposite one. Denise, don't clock me, babe.

I'm sorry I interrupted you. So Bachelor number one and The Bachelorette will be going to see Dionne Warwick for a night of dinner and dancing and Dionne. Hell yeah. That's fucking great. That's a very good prize, actually. I know, it is. It's a good date.

This reminded me of that show, I think it was the If You Are The One, where they had that date in the backstage area at the little table oh yeah what was that called they had like a fun name for that area but this is much better than that the date as far as that goes anyway yes the show are if you were the one was uh a billion times better than this i feel like if you were the one is almost a refined i think you actually could draw the lineage from that show to dating game right like pretty directly except they had it figured out what which was there are 30 women who just fucking roast one poor poor pathetic soul that gets out there and tries to do their

jujitsu i want to watch more episodes of that fuck yeah me too such a good show okay so then this is the next couple or i guess the next um bachelor's bachelorette should we take a break real quick oh yeah sure i mean we're only here's the thing we're only 23 minutes in but i think if we take the break here it won't interrupt our jokes and japes. Okay. I've already interrupted the jokes and japes. Damn it, didn't I? Um, hey, Griffin. Yes? Can I steal you away? Well, ding, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong, sound very like grunge griffin you never let me you never let me do the stinger anymore baby i you needed i thought you liked it when i want to do i want to do it's my birthday i wanted to do

it on my birthday okay i wanted to do like a steel drum version oh like a bing bing bing bing bing bing bing i feel like i'm right back yeah just just hanging out hanging out in the caribbean and just like having a great time with my friends and all their good steel drums um hey do you want to tell me all about blue apron yes i do they're our sponsor this week oh wonderful uh so here's how we use blue Apron Our deliveries come on Tuesday We get three meals in a box And it's in like a freezer pack box They have little recipe cards

So you know how to prepare the ingredients The ingredients are all super fresh Really high quality And we get to make things That we probably otherwise wouldn't make Upcoming menu items include Spinach and fresh mozzarella pizza with olives, bell peppers and ricotta salata, sweet and sour salmon with bok choy, carrot and ginger fried rice, parmesan crusted chicken with creamy fettuccine and roasted broccoli. Folks, it's really, really good stuff.

One thing, like, I don't know if Blue Apron likes it if we talk about this as a selling point. But, like, I'm traveling all this week. I'm, like, traveling all this week i'm like gone all this week and so we just like didn't want the blue apron because rachel didn't like want to just cook a dinner for two by herself three times um and so you all you do is you get on the website you clip uh skip this skip this week and it's like super easy you're not charged for it's like really also they have a uh you can select different menu items to like customize your box based on your dietary preferences and stuff they're like really cool about that shit and that's great

because like we travel a lot and so we don't want to get a big box of like we don't want to come home from a trip with like a big box of rotten cabbage or whatever they don't require a lot of notice either it's not something you have to do like a month out like you you can do it the month you're traveling yeah so check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free with free shipping by going to blueapron.com slash rose um you're really gonna like it we adore blue apron we've used it for a really long time now and this is not just shilling like it's it's i feel a weirdly intimate connection with blue apron because like it feeds us like you know what i mean like we have dinner because of this yeah i mean preparing a meal is like a very personal thing

it feels it feels like we have a real relationship with blue apron and i was about to say what and and each other um here's a jumbotron message if you want to get a message on the show out to another listener a friend a family member lover whatever uh just go to maximumfun.org slash jumbotron do it like soon because we're like filling up for the whole year yeah we're into the summer now um here's a message for elizabeth and it's from harry who says pookie and that was not a judgment judgment sigh it was just like i felt like i was your blue apron in that moment like i, I just got

intimate and I needed to, like, ready myself for that experience. Pookie, it's an absolute delight having you in my life and I love you so much. From the Bachelor to Master and Commander, I always have a great time digesting culture with you. You bring me joy and happiness and I wanted to show it.

While this may not run on exactly Valentine's Day, know that this is a sappy V-Day gift. Yours, Harry. Yikes, sorry. Is Master and Commander the boat movie? Yeah, with Russell Crowe. Russell, have you seen it?

You sound very knowledgeable about Master and Commander. No, I can just picture the movie poster. All right. Do you want to read this other Jumbotron message? I would like to sorry for wanging that one so bad harry we did our best this message is for samantha it is from john happy super late birthday to my jam and scones jam and jam and scones jam and scones sorry spell it because it's is it jam and scones it Sorry, spell it. Is it jam and scones?

It is, exactly. The way you pronounced it was like jam and scones. These are some jam and scones. Yeah. I think it works both ways. I think it does, too. I know your birthday is in August. So we're not that early.

But our sweet McElroys don't. Now I'm on the inside. I control them now. Quick, Sam, get in here and take over the podcast with me every time good you're in anything said from here on out is really john and sam from within griffin and rachel okay best hundo i ever spent thank you very much for the message that was a falsehood i don't know why everybody who pays us money to say things on the show think they can just meet Dave us. We need to sign off on that. I thought that was funny, John.

Good work. It was very funny, John, but stay out of my fucking body. Are you sad and confused about world politics? Worried about the upcoming inevitable nuclear war? Or maybe a rat is living in your house. There's a rat living in my house. How do you get rid of a rat from a house? Why not immerse yourself in a completely fictional imagined podcast

for the beef and dairy industries? It works for me. The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is the number one podcast for those involved or just interested in the production of beef animals and dairy herds. Don't worry, it's funnier than it sounds. Find us at beefanddairynetwork.com or maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts from. Oh, God, there's the rat.

Oh, God. Let's the rat. Oh, God. Let's talk about this second squad. Okay, so we get teased a lot for this second squad because there is a guy who believes strongly in flower power. And for some reason, the host thinks this is worth mentioning twice. Eight times. Yeah. So, again, it's a

bachelorette on one side of the screen and three bachelors. The first bachelor is named Gary Green. He's a college student. He is interested in joining the Peace Corps, and he gives movie set tours. And then bachelor number two is named John

Millerberg. He paints, he sings, and he is He paints, he sings, and he is so interesting, he, quote, makes himself sick. Same, dude. Right back at me. And then we have... I'm saying I don't think that about myself. You've made me sick with the thing that you just said

out loud on the TV show. What's annoying about these little intros is you never get more detail because they're not allowed to. They just have to answer the questions. Yeah. So we don't ever find out, like, what that was supposed to mean. The last bachelor is named Harold Calico.

Shit, dude. Isn't that great? So wait, these boys are probably in their, like, early 20s also, right? So, and this episode is 1967, so these boys were born in, like like 1940 sometime, which is fucking crazy to think about. Were we just like dope at naming shit in the 40s? Harold Calico? Well, they might be using fake names, too. That's entirely probable.

Yeah. He is also a student. I'm Nanana. I'm Nanana Crapple. That's me. I live, last living in Los Angeles. And I'm an outdoorsman. Nanana Crapple is my real name.

Please don't research me. Harold plays basketball and wants to be a teacher. We find out the bachelorette, who is named Diana, is interested in scuba diving, riding and she said i assume horseback riding all right it could i would say it could be big dogs you could be motorcycle you're doing like a 90s thing right now now this apparently i learned a lot about the 90s tonight if this was a 90s thing it would be overwhelmingly just maddeningly horny deeply truly deeply horny you know it was a horny time remember singled out we should watch an episode of single yeah dude oh but then we'd have to watch jenny mccarthy oh fuck no dude yeah maybe there's like a christmas special or something

where somebody else is a different co-host we'll have to look for that uh okay so diana um is studying to become an actress and she is from florida and drove from florida to california by herself that's a lot holy shit i thought that was kind of a cool thing. In some like 67 Malibu. She went through three cars and like fucking like two axles and four oxen on that journey. Are you kidding me? I just like thinking of, you know, like a single girl making her way out to the big city. Oh, God. To be in the 60s and just driving cross country.

Are you kidding me? Yeah. Putting some Joanie on the fucking music player in the car or whatever it was probably just a radio god windows fucking rolled down no seat belts because they hadn't been invented yet no fucking wipers because they hadn't been invented yet god that's the fucking dream isn't it you're gonna get so many tweets nothing but just a fucking jansport with an extra pair of jeans in it and just like crossing the country with my Joni Mitchell. Holy shit. That would be so fucking good. It would be pretty good.

All I really, really want to do is bring out the best in me. Just fucking blasting it and just driving and going. I want to talk to you. I want to shampoo you. It's just like that scene and kids are all right i know i'm doing a great job over here listen i like her a lot uh 60s just be in that era like go to a joni show with my fucking friends are you kidding me god periodformation. It's exciting. And awful, apparently. Just like watching these human beings who went through the crucible of the 60s.

It must have been pretty rough also. I think now is a good time, when we're idealizing the 60s, to get to the question that you and I both loved. Oh, my God. The Bachelorette asks the gentleman, what are girls for? Okay. Again, I do want to couch this in saying, this is actually not a good question. I don't think this is a very good question. It's not a great, the answers were, I don't want to put blame on the question asker, but it's like, there's not a lot of great answers to this.

What are girls for? Well, somebody could have said like, that's a ridiculous question. That's a weird prompt. Yeah. There was an opportunity to shut it down. Sure. Instead, what we got, the first response was terrible. The second response was terrible with, like, an extra, like, spicy seasoning of maybe the most buckwild thing I've ever heard anybody say on my television screen.

Maybe the most buck wild thing I've ever heard anybody say on my television screen. So Bachelor number two says that girls are for the opposite sex, dating, enjoyment, fun and games. Horrible. He actually says girls are for the same thing that women are for, which is this. And it's like, the fact that you said that is even wilder. Because that's you like not correcting them and being like, well, women, I date women because, you know, like making the correction based on age. But they said like, well, they're for the same thing as women, which is my enjoyment. And like, wowsers, bowsers. Bachelor number one says. time girls are fun girls are

for guys girls are for scuba diving okay so obviously he's just it sucks right it sucks tremendously and i don't want to make light of that and obviously he was just trying to he heard the introduction he heard the introduction that she likes scuba diving, so he was trying to ingratiate himself. I want to actually, though, hop into this gentleman's mind real quick and see if this is something he has believed his entire life. If he has empirical, fact-based, peer-reviewed research that proves women were made for scuba diving i more like that ever since he was a young man and he talked about having a family and growing up he just said one day i would like to settle down with the woman of my dreams maybe have some kids definitely go scuba diving with a woman who was made for like made that's where i'm at like i

think like he thinks like well this is all factual but about eight percent of women have gills straight up that's they won't tell you that in your books like he has some sort of like their necks are a little bit longer and that helps them regulate um air pressure when they're deep when they're in the deep deep water and um women were made for scuba diving yeah for the opposite sex and for scuba diving he doesn't even what if he didn't believe that first part he was just trying to echo what the other guy said or whatever to like maintain his machismo what he really wanted to get out there on the fucking broadcast waves was that he believes with his whole heart

that women were made for scuba diving and that's just the end of the story. Oh my gosh, you know, I just had to remind myself what his name is. It's Gary. He could have said the name rhymes with the fruit thing. Holy shit, babe. I'm refusing

to give that up. Okay, so you're a Gary, babe. I'm refusing to give that up. Okay, so you're a Gary apologist. I'm not a Gary apologist. I'm not a Gary apologist. I think women are made for scuba diving. That's it. That's the only thing I own right now. I'm afraid of scuba diving. Are you afraid of scuba diving? Yes. Oh, well then maybe, shit.

Yeah, the pressure. Scares me. I'm not afraid of sharks or whatever, octopus. No. The bends. Yeah, well I just Scares me. I'm not afraid of sharks or whatever, octopus. The bends. Yeah, well, I just, I don't like being underwater that deep. You have bad ears. I have bad ears. You have beautiful ears, but the insides of them are all gummed up. Yeah.

So your theory has already fallen apart. Shit. Okay. What else we got here? Okay. What else we got here? So I'll say that one of my next favorite questions is if you could snap and end up in any situation, what would it be? Bachelor number one, of course, is out on a date with you.

He snaps. Out on a date with you. Booyah. I'm all made for scuba diving. Bye. Bachelor number three has to try and improve on that somehow. And he does. you he snaps out on a date with you yeah booyah i'm already for scuba diving bye bachelor number three has to try and improve on that somehow and he does so he says oh well we'd be on a date but not just on the date we'd be on a date where the communication is perfect and it would have to be with you and i think number one probably looked over at number three in this moment was like

fucking really dog this is like the fucking price is right like 800 and the next was like 801 fuck you susan what's up uh does it ever happen on prices right where somebody's like 800 and the next person's like 801 and the first person's like what the fuck but then it's exactly 800 and they're like eat my shit what's up now? I don't know. I bet that would be so sick. I bet that would be. You should Google that. What would I even, tell me how,

what string of Booleans would I need to enter into Google to get that result? Has there ever been a, Price is Right, exact change, booyah, two, next next bidder $1 over You could just do exact price. Exact price Booyah, Drew Carey high five.

Oh, so you'd rule out Barker? Drew Carey's way better at this. Whoa. Step to it. I've got some thoughts about some game show hosts tonight. I guess so. Okay, so one of the most challenging questions we got to see. Really?

So far? All the other ones? Well, not like spiritually challenging. I mean like actually difficult to answer. Oh, I see, I see, I see. Was when The Bachelorette asked the gentleman, what is the dumbest question I could ask you? Number one says, what are you doing here? Which is like, what?

And then she's like, why is that a dumb question? He's like, oh, well, I mean, because clearly, you know, I'm here to go on a date with you. And she's like, oh, well, but would you answer it? And he's like, yeah, no, but would you answer it? And he's like, yeah, I know. It was just uncomfortable to watch. Bachelor number three does not come up with an answer. Can't.

He just says, well, the dumbest would be that. She kind of gives him an answer. She's like, I guess this one. And he's like, yeah. And that's who she ends up picking. That's number three, yeah. Yeah. She picks number three.

And she says she picked him because of his modest, simple voice. Again. So a lot of just sort of voice play on this show. I will say Bachelor number two gave one of my favorite answers. He is the painter-singer, and he gets asked what type of work of art he would be. Oh, my God. Holy shit. I can't believe we almost didn't say this. He says abstract expressionist,

which is not exactly right. Is it not? Expressionist. Yeah. Expressionist. I think he was thinking like expressionism. Yeah. And then he just like took it and he twisted it a little bit.

But he's a painter. Come on, dude. Exactly. He doesn, dude. Exactly. He doesn't work with words. He works with ideas and dreams and visions. And he says, complementary hues of yellow and orange, I think. Yeah, with abstract blues with complementary hues of yellow and orange. And it's like, oh, sick.

So Diana and Bachelor number three are going to the Hollywood Bowl to see the ballet and then have dinner at a French restaurant Bachelor number one and two that did not get picked get binoculars to spy on this

date watch the date and then this is the weird part so at the end of the episode I guess we had to check in with date. And then this is the weird part. So at the end of the episode, I guess we had to check in with a previous couple. So this is the Las Vegas trip that Griffin was mentioning. And so we see them go to a pool and go sightseeing at a golf course. And then they go to dinner with Don Ho. This date also was filmed with the gra grainiest ass camera. It was like the

fucking intro sequence to the Wonder Years full-blown Sasquatch shit. I could not tell which of these blobs were. And then at the end, everyone comes back on stage and they blow a big kiss to the audience. And the word kiss pops up in

full-blown Austin Powers font. And that's something that they do every episode throughout, whole span of the series and all of its many revivals. Yes. That's what we watched. That's what we watched. Sorry. Sorry, guys. Sorry, y'all.

It was. I really, like, when I picked that episode, I didn't watch any of it. I just clicked through to make sure the full episode was there. And then I just posted it. It was so rough. Didn't know. Um, yeah,

like, I don't even know how to fucking talk about it. Cause like, obviously if anybody had said something along the lines of women were made for men's enjoyment and also scuba diving on the Bachelor 2017 edition. Like, it would be, like, the most buck wild. And that's not to say that sexist, misogynist shit doesn't happen on The Bachelor. But just, like, the offhandedness of it.

I don't even know. I don't know if I sound silly right now because like yeah sure it was the 60s but just like it was i really don't watch much shit from this era i guess and it was still like and i my expectations were not high but i certainly i don't think i was expecting like every fucking question just curious to see how this show evolved like if we watched an episode from the late 70s for example because i feel like right around then was when the tides were kind of changing a little bit a little bit probably and maybe we didn't see so much like gender norming on the show i don't know because we did watch the episode from 1998 and it was again not much let's talk about that um yeah so

we watched we didn't take that many notes for the 98 episode. We just sort of wanted a fucking taste of what it was like. We got to see a great commercial for arid deodorant that Griffin was really excited about. Oh, fuck yeah. What was it? Sweat. Stress. Stress stinks. Arid works.

Fuck yeah. Got me psyched. I wanted to go throw all my Old Spice bullshit in the garbage and go get some fucking arid for my pits. Psych wanted to go, like, throw all my Old Spice bullshit in the garbage and go get some fucking arid for my pits. Psyched for it, dude. Chuck Woolery was the host. There were a lot of questions about very 90s topics, like boxer shorts. Yeah, one of the questions was, what's on your boxer shorts, if you're wearing boxer

shorts? And the first dude was like, well well i'm not wearing any boxer shorts and everybody's like whoo and i was like there's other things he could be white doesn't mean his dick is hanging out like he could be wearing briefs or boxer briefs or i don't know if we actually cracked that technology in 1998 or whatever yet um but what did he say well what's on it they're 100 silk and they have the logo for my favorite baseball team. Because I like to play ball, is what he said. Yipes.

And then the second one's like, yeah, I'm wearing boxer shorts right now, and they have hearts on it because I'm full of love. And the only thing missing in these boxer shorts is you. You want her to get in your boxer shorts? Is that like your really complicated way of saying a handjob would be sick? The only thing missing in these underwear is you. It seems like the objective of the 90s version was to make your answer consistently sexual. So much so that one of the questions was, I have a pet guinea pig. Oh, I gotta play the audio.

Yeah, so the question was, I have a pet guinea pig. What gotta play the audio yeah so the question was i have a pet guinea pig what what were they supposed to do what would you do if you were my pet guinea pig yeah what would you do if you were my pet guinea pig um the first guy was like you know i think i'd uh i say the bottle's empty the bottle's empty i need to be fed the second dude so a great thing about this show show is you never know when the round is going to be over. It's like Jeopardy rules, but instead of going, they play like a fucking swanky music stinger. And it plays really loud and it will just interrupt a dude in the middle of the thing, which is exactly what happened in the middle of this dude's horrible answer.

Hold on, let me try to play right now. A guinea pig, huh huh i think i'd say sarah i'm having trouble sleeping the sound of a heartbeat puts me right to sleep which made me think that like some like studio operator was like no no no no boop no no no no no no no your heartbeat in my sweet guinea pig ear no uh she does end up picking that guy though she picks she does end up picking that guy loves his great guinea pig humor yeah um just a very horny romp just a very very very horny time every everything oh there was one like like the wine is flowing the music is bumping what's missing from this picture and one of the guys was like uh your lingerie

no um i want to talk about some of the celebrities who made their uh if not debut early appearance on the dating game yeah because there's a list in this uh in this wikipedia article um there was a serial killer that like i think some people in the facebook group wanted to talk about but i really don't want to get into because it's legitimately fucking horrible yeah although i will say that after watching this one episode from the 60s i can't believe a just one serial killer came out of this production and not one per episode. How about Willie Ames in 1978? Famous Amos, also in 78. Judd Apatow made his debut here in the 80s.

Desi Arnaz Jr.? Is that the same? I don't know. I don't know. No, I guess it's their kid. kid yeah he's the son of desi arnaz interesting yeah who knew um bill bixby um karen and richard carpenter dick clark was just like on the fucking show um deep, maybe in a musical appearance. Oh, Farrah Fawcett, Sally Field.

Michael Jackson, right? Michael Jackson, Maurice and Robin Gibb from the fucking Bee Gees were on this show. Phil Hartman, Cheryl Hines, Ron Howard, Michael Jackson, Andy Kaufman. We actually watched the Andy Kaufman bit. Groucho Marx as a prank on his daughter,inda who was bachelor at number one oh that's good that's really good um vincent price hr puffin stuff okay peewee herman was on an episode john ritter was in uh like the 67 like not as a goof just like John Ritter on it in 1967. Bob Saget twice.

Arnold Schwarzenegger. Tom Selleck. Suzanne Somers. Rip Taylor twice in 73 and 78. Robert Vaughn. Jimmy Walker. Adam West. And Terry Williams, who was in Kenny Rogers in the first edition.

And like 70 other people whose names i did not read it's wild how many fucking people were on this show everybody was on yeah i think jed apatow gave an interview where it was just kind of like if you were a young personality in hollywood trying to break in that was like a show you went on to like get your face out there um so we should also talk about. And I'm not an expert in this. Because I have not read the book. But Chuck Berris.

Who was the creator of the original show. And like whose name was on the title card. His production company made it all the way up through 1989. Chuck Berris wrote. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. In which he claimed that the dating game was a cover for his cia activities and was promoted by the cia um so his book confessions of a dangerous mind and i think they like made a movie or something i'm completely unknowledgeable about

this and i apologize because i think some folks wanted us to get into the weeds about this um but this book was just like all about his like secret cia ops while he was also the like creator of this long-running successful television show which was a like cover operation for the cia but he wrote a second memoir called the game show king a confession that makes no mention of the cia or for that matter his previous book okay and a cia spokesman has categorically denied that barris ever worked for them in any capacity okay pretty buck wild move there a barris yeah well he's an entertainer i think a lot of people were entertained by this book chuck that you wrote and you lied and maybe a whole lot maybe a little bit um anything else you want to talk about about About the dating game. That's the dating game. I think we make, so now that I have familiarized myself with the fact that it is the love connection

that is coming back. I can't do that next week. No. I can't do that. I can't do the two of these. You don't want to do this again? I can't do fucking two of these in a row. Absolutely not.

No. Maybe we'll see if we can find an episode of Singled Out. Maybe. Didn't Chris Hardwick host that shit for a bit? He did. Let's get a Hardwick era. I can stomach Hardwick. Well, no. if we can find an episode of singled out maybe didn't chris hardwick host that shit yeah he did let's get a hardwick era i can i can stomach hardwick well no the thing was it was hardwick and jenny mccarthy she would kind of run around the stage and he would host dang it well we'll see we'll see what we can find i like the idea of going to our roots though

you know i would do 90s yeah 90s era would be like pretty sick i mean here's we've done um this is not this is not okay so it's not necessarily a dating show but we've done terrace house which by the way we finished the second part of new episodes from season two and we're not going to spoil it but holy fuck like i i i do kind of wish we had waited to do our aloha state yeah um because the second half because the second half it's not second half it's the second chunk of eight episodes is fucking amazing if you bailed like because you were you like thought it was too different or you didn't enjoy it or whatever go and watch the second eight episode chunk of aloha state because it is fucking phenomenal like every episode was so choice we were i was proud of us because we

like drip fed it over the course of three weeks like we did not just slam them because like i feel like we needed to digest each episode really oh we also watched the second episode of that first date show which is great yeah um we i mean every episode there's going to be some couples that you're uncomfortable with yes but there are also some couples we were really excited about so i i would continue to recommend it's good tv it's like it it is the um it is the like except for the the genuinely bad dates and jesus god there was a stinker on this episode but it's like kind of the tone of tv that i like now which is just like nice you know it's just nice and pleasant and you

get that fucking sims music going in the background and i'm just like i'm all in um i want to thank some folks for sending some stuff to the p.o box it's p.o box 66639 austin texas 78766 we got some rad um rose buddies uh bachelor uh fantasy league baseball shirts from liz thank you those are so cool. Thank you, Liz. And Colleen sent me a, and you, but it's a men's large t-shirt, so I'm probably going to wear it more, a home improvement genuine article, home

improvement t-shirt that Colleen found at a thrift shop and sent to us, which is very thoughtful. Thank you so much. And again, I will tell everybody I see, like as I'm like walking through Central Market wearing my Home Improvement shirt, I'm gonna be like, it's for Richard Karn.

It's for Richard Karn. This one's for Richard Karn. It's for Richard Karn. Not the other guy. This is for Richard Karn. Yes. Just so everyone knows. Yes.

We've gotten a lot of other stuff too, a lot of great stuff and a lot of wedding invitations and sweet letters. And thank you all so much for your your love and your support. Thanks for thanks to the Max Fund Network for having us. You can go to Maximum Fund at Oregon. Check out all the great shows there. Just go clicking around.

Click on stuff like One Bad Mother and Lady to Lady and Stop Podcasting Yourself and Beefairy Network, and Jordan Jesse Go, and Judge John Hodgman. And there's a bunch of other shows and podcasts and videos that we also do, the rest of the McElroy family. You can find them all at McElroyShows.com. Anything else, baby? Nope, that's it. Oh, and happy birthday to Griffin. Thank you.

I'm 30. Fucking push me into the lake. Push me into the volcano now. Are you still going to introduce yourself as 30 under 30 media luminary i don't know that i can like i literally thought about emailing forbes and being like can i still say this i don't it may be a they're responsible probably be like that's a personal decision like do you want to be over 30 and say you're an under 30 success story you know know? Ooh, yeah. That's complicated. It's complicated. It's not great. Anyway, I'm an old piece of shit,

and I've been Griffin McElroy. I'm Rachel McElroy. Oh, no, I farted and my teeth fell out. Because I'm old now. I'm so old I was on the dating game at some point, unironically. When you're ready. Final rose.

Stay with us on this journey of joy. Spoiler alert! She is up with Soulja Boy! Right reasons! Right reasons! Take me to all the more reasons! Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

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