Wonderful! - Wonderful! 104: Find A Thigh

Episode Date: October 16, 2019

Rachel's favorite handy appendage! Griffin's favorite ursine competition! Rachel's favorite public work! Griffin's favorite autumnal agricultural activity! Music: "Money Won't Pay" by bo en and Augustus - https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoya MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hello, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is wonderful. I don't have anything. Oh, well that's a shame. You want me to go for a little bit? You saw me like flexing and starting to get the wind up going, but I don't actually have anything. We got some fall weather over the weekend, which was real exciting.

And you know, I was going to say something about fall weather, but then I remembered how boring that would be. Well, it's super unique for us. Like we have yet to experience anything below 80 degrees and we got our first taste. It's true. Went outside, made a snowman uh just like calvin and hobbs it was pretty cool um and what else did a big uh snowball fight down at the big park uh the mayor came down and we just had a great time so yeah that's not a bad intro something about pumpkin spice lattes and how people who if you we can say something funny like if you drink if you drink pumpkin spice lattes you're bad you're you are bad millennials millennials drink the pumpkin flavored coffee

what's next avocado lattes oops that's funny that could be a good intro uh politics something is always going on we put a slide on our deck we put a slide on our deck that was a little moment of triumph for our son yeah rachel was like wow you really set that slide up very quickly and i said it was two screws that i had to screw downward so which is the easiest direction to screw a screw. I get so psyched when I get to screw a screw downward so I don't have to hold it up or anything like that. So yeah, that was fun. Okay, I think that's enough intro.

All right. This is wonderful. This is a show where we talk about things that we like and we're into that is good. I'll do the small wonder first and give you time to think of it. Mossoman Curry is very good. I had it for dinner last night and lunch today because that's how curry works i think i think curry is designed

for leftovers because i always have what makes it uh not so mom uh it is uh i it's extremely peanutty like extremely extremely usually brown right yeah yeah yeah uh and honestly i'm not sure other than the fact that it is like like um light peanut butter essentially with potatoes and whatever the hell in it yeah um but yeah we have for me we have a thai restaurant i mean we have a ton of like thai restaurants in town that are all good but there's one that i just started getting their mossman curry every time and holy, it's really good. Do you have any small? I do.

And it's actually a big wonder. I wanted to publicly, again, because I have done it personally, thank one Griffin McElroy for sacrificing himself so that I could go to ACL yesterday and see musical artists with our friends. Folks, we are on the wildest hot streak of babysitter cancellations. Literally the last three outings that we have planned over the, this is like several months, we have planned dates for ourselves and had two different babysitters fall through all three times so tired so tired would love to leave the house with you though damn i mean technically we did our friend bristol watched our son so we could go oh we went and saw cigarette cigarette on friday and that was that was really cool we met a bunch of y'all there

which was great uh had a couple people tell us that that was that was really cool we met a bunch of y'all there which was great uh had a couple people tell us that that was like how they found out about Sigrid so this is real nice it was really nice it was really cool um yeah I think you go first this week what is your uh what's your first little subject there oh on the laptop this time on the laptop Rachel's going digital only this week don't get used to it. Okay. All right. This is going to open up a whole new world for us. Oh, shit. Because I'm going to say this, and then it's like all, everything's on the table.

Okay. My small, or my regular wonder. Yeah. One might say large wonder. Yeah. Hands. Just hands. large wonder yeah hands just hands just hands are incredible and wonderful wow right anything can be anything can be a topic now so rachel's eyes are kind of bloodshot and she's staring at me in this sort of like um i would say panicked but i know you not panicked, but that's like the face you're giving me right now.

You are shuddering, not shaking as much as you are shuddering. And so that's. It's like we had a room in our house that we didn't know existed and I just opened the door. Yeah. It was full of pants. This is the Terrace House wedding suite where it's just when two people get together, a door apparates and then they can go in there and i guess kiss and stuff um okay hands hands yeah let's do it how many bones you think are in these things uh let me think i know there's more than one bone per finger so i know it's more than 10 yeah uh you have a shit ton of like metatarsals but that's the foot

yes anyway arsals and metatarsals there's tarsals and metatarsals that's the foot, yes? Anyway. There's tarsals and metatarsals. There's tarsals and metatarsals. I think that's the foot. I think those are foot bones. Phalanges are up top, right? Carpals? Is there metacarpals? Yeah, that sounds right. That sounds right.

Anyway, I'm going to say in each hand or in both hands combined? In one hand? One hand. In one hand, I'm going to say there are 26 bones. You are so close. It's incredible. There are 27. Oh, God. Oh, damn. bones. You are so close. It's incredible. There are 27. Oh, God.

Oh, damn. That would have been so tight. Wow. Shit, that would have been cool. You're so good at guessing. Thank you. Did you ever win one of those jelly bean jars? Yeah, but I did it by doing like a, I counted the beans at the bottom and then I counted

from the bottom to the top and then I counted from side to side. So I get width, depth and height. And then I I you're acting like that's cheating but that's like probably the best way to do it sure uh yes I have one 27 bones damn I was so close um I I was thinking I think a lot so so I I've mentioned this to Griffin I have had a lot of trouble writing recently but there's this idea i came up with over a year ago now and put it in my phone uh and i still haven't figured out how to work it into a poem but i wrote down the phrase the hand is also a cup huh and i think about that a lot of that like a lot of the tools and things you purchase are things that you can actually just do with your hands you know okay i made jokes about you being like high as hell earlier you're not getting any farther away from that i mean you're

right and that is an evocative line in a poem yeah um but saying that your hand can be why buy anything when you can do it with your hand i just this is looking around the room there's a hammer sitting on the floor i was doing a little nail with that shit right in there with your big powerful fist uh-huh there's a computer yeah i was just thinking like the act of like bringing water to your mouth with your hand is kind of incredible in itself. You know, I'm very like, you know, prehistoric, I guess. And then, you know, the shadow puppets and the sign language and the handshakes. And I mean, there's just there's so much you can do with this thing.

You know, I don't understand why it's funny. Well, you've listed four like important functions but they're all very different things they are very different things but i will also add that there are 112 million other things you can do with a hand that's why i'm bringing it okay cool i just want to make sure we're on the same page uh there is an estimate i don't know where came from, but that the fingers on one hand are bent and stretched about 25 million times over the course of a lifetime. Hmm. Uh, there are, I'm a gamer, so.

Yeah. So probably a little more than that. Uh, there are a total of 17,000 touch receptors, uh, in your hand and there are over 30 muscles in your hand. Cool. Incredible. Yeah. I, um, I mean, I think some of mine have fused together

because again, I am a gamer. And so the muscles for jumping, the muscles for getting Master Chief gun, those ones are too big. And so other muscles had to leave and now live in the wrist. I think that's what carpal tunnel is. Do you think your muscles worked your way up

into your hands? And so maybe they left your back, the wrist i think that's what carpal tunnel is do you think your muscles worked your way up into your hands and so maybe they left they left your back which is why your back hurts all the time maybe they migrated into your hands or maybe it's the way i'm literally sitting right now almost crisscross applesauce hunched over uh that is the reason why i read a lot about this thing called the power grip, which is the idea of the thumb and all four fingers coming together to create like a locking mechanism. So a lot of times you're using your thumb, your pointer and your middle finger to do a lot of the kind of the pincer grasp that we learned about when our son was little right but the idea of bringing the the ring and the little finger around creating the real power grip like the real tight grasp oh that does feel strong holy shit wow that's so strong give me something to score you i'm gonna crush this can oh my god wow that was like nothing uh and then you know of course our thumb the humble opposable thumb that really really makes

the difference between us and most of most of the creatures right and you know the thumb wars i didn't bring up thumb wars earlier but thumb thumb wars, paper, rock, scissors. Another thing you can do with hands. Yeah, man. High fives. High fives. Pleasure. Well, yes.

Bringing food to your mouth. Hopefully you washed your hands first, though, after the pleasure. I just, I, there are, there are many wonderful things in the world some of them are you know cute animals and some of them are just having a hand attached to your arm yeah they can do some incredible things it's true uh can i do my first thing speaking of cute animals yes i have a new favorite holiday on earth which is a big deal for me because i love my holidays um sorry christmas sorry thanksgiving sorry halloween all of them take a back seat to fat bear week fat bear week is a special thing that's entered my life this year it's been going on for a long

time but for whatever reason it just like made the news cycles this year i hadn't heard of it until you told me yes that that was the same boat that i was in i it had its it had its fan base before now but i think this is the year where it's really blowing up because i think this is the year where we really need to see these big bears uh this is this is i mean it is kind of in the title it is a week-long uh tournament of bears that live in the Katmai National Park and Preserve in southwest Alaska. It's a four million mile wide stretch of land, and it is estimated that there are 2,000 bears living there. And they're very plugged in this national park. They are very connected to the web, very web savvy. They have webcams where you can just go and watch live streams of streams with bears in them getting salmon and rachel's shaking her head no what's wrong no i see now i am thinking

of this as a competition among the bears i'm thinking of a reality television program in which the bears do testimonials where they talk about how they're not there to make friends right and you know they're bulking up for fat bear week yeah that would sully the majesty of fat bear week i want to stress these bears are not the subject of mockery this is not what fat bear week is all about uh it is about these bears that are getting ready for hibernation by eating a metric shit ton of food yes uh up to uh estimated up to 40 pounds of food a day holy shit holy shit and the the reason they do that is because you know when they sleep through the whole damn winter they lose a third to a half of their total body weight uh so when they wake up they have they have disintegrated essentially,

so they need to become absolute units before that happens. And so Fat Bear Week is sort of a celebration of this hard work and dedication. And it's that joyousness of the event and the thing it is celebrating that makes it just so endearing. These big, beautiful bears could survive a meteor impact. They are so big and wonderful. So to clarify, it's not like a hot or not bear versus bear. It is a hot or not. Oh, okay. Well, there's a tournament and they stack two bears against each other. And then it goes through the whole week, fat bear week until you end up with just one this year. The names are great. I found this really interesting.

The Katmai Rangers, who arrange the contest and obviously care very much about these animals, they try not to anthropomorphize them because they think it's important not to do that with wild animals living in a wild setting, which was fascinating to me. But some of them do have names that have just stuck. But mostly, it's a three a three digit number that they, that they are. So last year's winner was, let me find it.

Bead nose, the 409 bead nose. And this bear was so like, it's belly dragged on the ground as it walked. It was so dope. It was so dope. Bead nose didn't show up this year. Went MIA. Nobody's quite sure where bead nose is. I've got an APB out. We're. Bead nose didn't show up this year. Went MIA.

Nobody's quite sure where bead nose is. I've got an APB out. We're going to look out for bead nose this year. We're looking at 747 or 747, which is very appropriate. And another favorite was 435 Holly. And they went up and 435 Holly took the crown. Congratulations, 435 Holly. You are so big.

I have never loved an animal so much. I would die for you, 435 Holly. I'm so worried about Beednose now because a part of me wonders if the other bears, you know, dethroned him in a more sinister way. It's possible Beednose stocked up on so much shit that like- Still sleeping? They're sleeping through night.

He's gonna get two. There is an amazing npr story about this where they interviewed a park ranger named naomi boke who uh was a fan of 747 and she had a quote where she said he was so big he looked like he was ready to hibernate in july He's the size of two bears. There's just so many good things about this story. Like hibernation is super neat. The amount of work that goes into it is admirable and deserves praise far and wide. And Katmai just seems really beautiful. And they're just like really jovial about this whole thing.

Again, like you can watch streams. I spent a long time today watching some highlights of these bears just like catching salmon the idea too of like hibernation hacks where like the bears have worked together to say okay you know what here's what i do here's my regimen you know i eat 75 fish right you can't stop there you got to keep going but so i'll drink some water and then three o'clock i go back you you know, but this time berries. Yeah. And they're just like, they've figured out. Somebody gave them the rocks eating schedule. What was it?

Where he ate like some white fish every like 35 minutes. Yeah. Yes. So another really good thing about it, and this is a slight bummer, is that the ecosystem up there is changing because of global warming. And so it's like thought that it is going to be tougher for these bears to get nice and big and you know a side effect of that is like lots of people are paying attention to fat bear week now and therefore lots of people are paying attention to this like precious ecosystem that is uh being

affected and hopefully taking action about it which speaking of if you like me enjoy these bears please go look enjoy these bears, please go look at these bears. They're wonderful. You can become a supporter of Katmai if you go to katmai, that's K-A-T-M-A-I, conservancy.org, and you can support them. You and I have a pin coming our way.

A pin that has a big bear on it. Very excited to get this pin around. So when you support them, are you just, like, buying them, like, a big bear on it. Very excited to get this pin around. So when you support them, are you just like buying them like a big pile of- It's sending them to McDonald's. Yeah. Big pile of peanut butter jars. Yeah.

Yeah. You guys are going to, you don't know about this yet. You're going to love it. I'm just going to drone drop some of my favorite sinful cheat day. Here's a bunch of, for me, it would just be like, here is a whole big travel bag of Sour Patch Kids. Enjoy, Bears. Oh, you don't like it.

Yeah. You are Bears. Hey, can I steal you away? Yes. Can I tell you about our next sponsor? Of course you can. It's Rothy's. Hi, Rothy's.

I am super excited about Rothy's right now. They've got some fall looks out there. Oh, shoot. They got kind of a pink shoe, which I'm really thinking hard about, like a pink loafer. Don't just think about it. Take the plunge. Thinking about it, though, and I may take that plunge. But first, can I tell the listeners about Rothy's?

Yes, of course okay uh we've mentioned before they are made out of recycled plastic water bottles but they include fun designs and color as i mentioned and so they're not just good for the environment they're just they look good on your feet yeah Yeah, absolutely. They always come with free shipping and free returns and exchanges so there are no worries involved. Go to rothys.com

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you've been waiting for. Head to rothys.com slash wonderful today. Did you spell it? it no that's r-o-e nope that's r-o-t-h-y-s.com that's the song i wrote for them slash wonderful slash wonderful okay here's a message for future cc from past cc who says 2019 isn't what you expected huh i am so proud of you for chasing your bliss and not letting fear get in the way keep looking for small wonders and you will find them maybe big ones too shout out to my dog buffy to cat for taking for talking me into taz and to every other friend listening now, you guys rock. Best past CC.

I don't know why I said it like that. Did you hear that? Best. I like both CCs. Yeah, sure. You know, I don't know what present CC is doing, but past CC is a good indicate that present CC is also good.

Just hope future CC doesn't come back to try to assassinate past CC in an either Looper or Gemini Man, I haven't seen it yet style. But boy, we gotta get out to Gemini Man. This is two Will Smiths fighting each other in 120 frames Is that what it is? I don't know anything about it other

than that it's Will Smith. It's not Will Smith. It's Wills Smiths. Do they interact with each other? They fight each other. Oh, Griffin. We may have to do another bonus episode. Can you read the next message?

The next message is for Taylor. It is from Allison. Happy 30th birthday to the queen of the Magikarp herself, Taylor Wilkerson. Sorry I left the mansion to return to New Jersey, but consider this Jumbotron as the mansion to return to New Jersey, but consider this jumbotron as a promise to return to Pittsburgh again soon.

Thanks for introducing me to the McElroy clan, and I think you're cuter than Fiona the hippo. Oh crap, I forgot my tea on the counter again. Let's not go saying things that we can't take back about Fiona the hippo. That's a good hippo. That's a really good hippo. I take it back. I would die for that hippo. That's a good hippo. That's a really good hippo. I take it back.

I would die for that hippo. That's the order. And the bears? No. If there were two bullets coming for either of them, I would jump in the way of it. You know, but the hippo could take one shot. And you know what?

The bear could take one, but not me. I take it back. Hello, this is Amy Mann. And I'm Ted Leo. And we have a podcast called The Art of Process. We've been lucky enough over the past year to talk to some of our friends and acquaintances from across the creative spectrum to find out how they actually work.

So I have to write material that makes sense and makes people laugh. I also have to think about what I'm saying to people. If I kick your ass, I'll make you famous. The fight to get LGBTQ representation in the show. We weirdly don't know as many musicians as you would expect. I really just became a political speechwriter by accident. Realizing that I have accidentally pulled my pants down. Listen and subscribe at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

It's like if the guinea pig was complicit in helping the scientist. Can I tell you my second thing? Yes. Okay, this one. You know, I can't tell if you really enjoyed the hand or not, but I feel like you'll be on board for this one. I loved the hand. You did?

I loved it. Okay. But if this next one's feet, I'm going to walk out of the studio. No, it's not. Because you're going to take that in a direction that I am not comfortable with. No, this is all about waste management systems. All right. I am very, very grateful that I can put trash out on a curb and it is taken away from me.

And I think that that whole service deserves a little recognition. All of them, man. We just got a composting bin. We did. We have a recycling bin and we are always filling that fucking thing up. And we just got this composting bin and now I'm having to like change my whole worldview around this bin. I love all our bins.

I know. So I wanted to talk a little bit about kind of the humble beginnings of waste removal. There are roots, of course, in Ben Franklin. As there are in so many of our trash-related advancements. He started the first street cleaning service and encouraged the public to dig pits to dispose of their waste.

Okay, not bad. Probably, I also am not sure how we do it today. I just assumed that's what was up. Encourage the public to dig pits to dispose of their waste. Okay, not bad. Probably. I also am not sure how we do it today. I just assumed that's what was up. Yeah. I mean, you know, in the olden days, and you've probably heard about this on Sawbones, actually, because this is the roots of the plague are in this of people just leaving their decaying matter out in the street. Right.

Nobody would do anything about it. People would get sick. Why would people go out? Nobody would do anything about it. People would get sick. Why would people go out? If I went outside and there was like dookie and empty white claws everywhere, like I would stop going outside, which I kind of already have. Of all the two things that you would pick there, it was an interesting,

it was a real Mad Libs style combination. So the roots in the American system, 1885, New York developed the first comprehensive system for garbage management. But this was a long road ahead of that. It wasn't until 1914 that they started incinerating garbage. Right. And there were about 300 of them in operation from the U.S. through Canada.

And then during this period, they were doing the horse-drawn system. Oh, right. So like a horse carriage would take away your garbage. Right. We didn't have the big chomper yet. Then we turned to motor cars. yet um then we turn to motor cars um but this still involves the drivers like you know physically like lifting the garbage up to right into the truck which was very hard on these individuals around 1920s the rear loader was developed it lifted the garbage can from the back to the top

of the truck and allowed more efficiency okay so here's baby steps yeah and how much do you remember i still get kind of a thrill watching that can go up there and dump the trash in yeah i mean now it's all robots yeah i feel like a robot it's sorry it's robot arms that grab the cans and fling it in which is like that's a big wonder right there holy crap that's great uh but i also remember like being younger in huntington and like watching the like guys go by and grab it and throw it in the back well and this is what's crazy so in 1915 they change or not sorry 1950 okay there's a big difference there in 1950 they changed to the side load process, which was the hydraulic powered blade.

Whoa. What is that? That it like it packs the garbage in. Oh, OK. So that's when it started chomping. OK. OK. So trash collecting is super dangerous job.

Right. Not just because a lot of people are lifting heavy things, but also they're out in the middle of the road. Austin, in September 2019, just came up with a law, which is part of a national effort to get motorists to move over and slow down for waste collection vehicles. So this just started in September, which is the idea that you could get ticketed could get ticketed if you're observed, like not obeying this law, which is, which is a good step. I, um, also found that like, it's something like 99% of, you know, waste management people are men, but there is, you know, there is 1% that are women out there and it's important, you know, to recognize that. This is just one of those services that is so necessary that makes my life so much easier. All our lives. And I am so grateful that it exists, especially in those early days of Henry where our garbage

can was just constantly full. Of human waste. Yes. For the most part. Yes. Yes. constantly full of human waste for the most part yes yes uh i i i think about it every time our garbage is picked up it's just like oh thank god thank you i don't know what i would do without you yes whatever i do would be extremely short-sighted and extremely like unhealthy yes whatever it is i would just hide it under the house i think is where we go hey can i

tell you about my second thing yes my second thing is fun autumnal autumnal farm fun autumnal farm fun okay i'm lumping a few things in with this uh when i think about like my most powerful sense memories i'm talking about autumnal farm fun like i can remember extremely clearly a night where i think i was with my church youth group and we were out at a farm outside of huntington and i was on a hayride after going on a corn maze so my feet were all like muddy and i got on a hayride with my friends and me and one of my friends were talking about our crushes on this hayride while we were listening to sugar ray and it was really cool out and i just had some cider like i remember everything about that hayride and my memory is like garbage especially from when i was a kid but i remember so much about that night because it's just all kinds of autumnal farm fun were happening now when you say listening

to sugar ray yeah was sugar right on it was on whatever was uh the vehicle that was towing the hay wagon was playing some sugar ray oh see i like it better if the band Sugar Ray was sponsoring the hayride. Maybe. No, this was when Sugar Ray was like hot as hell, which actually that could have been any time, including today. So I apologize for not being more specific. I just love, you know, farm fun around the fall. Fall farm fun. Pumpkin patches, corn mazes, hay rides, apple picking, whatever, man.

I like it all. There's an apple, or there's a pumpkin patch like farm adventures area here in Austin that we've taken Henry to before and it's just a bunch of pumpkins. Apparently it's even better now. Our friends just went over the weekend and there are even more new exciting features.

There's like an archery section now. Do you the pumpkins you know i don't even know i don't want to shoot the pumpkins i just know that there's archery okay there's slides and stuff and tetherball but there's also big pumpkins yeah and fun fall foods and musical acts and yeah tetherball did i say tetherball already did say t say tetherball. It's fun. It's a good game. Yeah, and when it's the weekend and you have a toddler, sometimes you just need a place to be. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes you just need to be at a place.

Yeah. And it's good for that. Hay rides I have a special fondness for, although I do think that all these fall farm fun activities it's hard to say that fall farm fun activities are designed to just like yoink money from city slickers like myself you know i don't think i've ever been on a hayride you're kidding me i don't think i have no see the big thing in missouri was apple picking yeah and you did have to ride out on a, like a cart style vehicle to get to the apples,

but I don't remember there being hay on it. I have never gone apple picking cause I am not sure where you do that. I don't think they have apple here in Austin. I think you have all my friends in New York have apple. I mean, you need a fall season, which we do not get. And so do I have to go to New York have apple. I mean, you need a fall season, which we do not have. Yeah, which we do not get. And so do I have to go to New York for apples?

I mean, they do have apples in Missouri. I did do the picking there. What kind? Do you get to decide which kind you pick? Is it like the World of Coke Museum where you get to try all the different apples? Oh, gosh. I can't remember if there are multiple varieties of apple there. Why?

Is that a deal breaker for you? Kind of, yeah. I want't remember if there are multiple varieties of apple there. Why? Is that a deal breaker for you? Kind of, yeah. I want to have options wherever I go. Because what if I eat one apple and it's nasty? I want to try another one. I can never remember what kind of apple I like. Do you know what kind of apple you like? Yes.

I mean, Honeycrisp. Honeycrisp. Gala's pretty good. Yeah. Don't like Red Delicious. No, no, no. That's a real misnomer. Well, that's a bacon apple.

You have to put some other shit on that to make it taste good anyway uh hay rides hay rides actually have a history of like let's take these these uh city folk for all their worth by charging them to ride around on hay um because hay rides used to be like a thing you did in the hay farming season like because you would have to take the a thing you did in the hay farming season like because you would have to take the hay from one place to another and you would just have somebody in there with it uh and it was like kind of a sweet gig because you got to like chill out for just a little bit during this like really hectic time um and then the idea of hay rides was kind of like romanticized in like uh early literature uh and so like kids books

especially and so people from the city started to like come out to like show their kids these hay rides and go on them uh the hay ride as we know it has changed because back then it was literally like a huge pile of slippery wet hay that you would ride 15 feet off the ground on top of and so they stopped doing that and now it's mostly just wagons with a few hay bales in it. Yeah. But I always thought it was so romantic. Don't you think so? A hay ride?

It's so romantic. I mean, all I can think of is how itchy it is, though. It's not itchy. You're wearing jeans and a light jacket. The light jacket's protecting you. And if it's hay bales, like, there's not a lot of stragglers jabbing out i mean okay here let's think about this okay regular truck yeah just sitting in the back of a regular truck fall season listening to music driving around slowly is that truck bed clean probably not sure it's probably not

i'm just saying maybe it's the act of being outdoors in a slow moving vehicle in the fall season more than it is the hay itself. Now, in that farm outside of Huntington, they didn't go very slow. They would haul ass in these hay rides. Jesus. Because what's the worst that's going to happen? You fall into hay? Oh, or off the car.

Off the car. There's probably no car. There's no hay outside of the car. How many people you fit in one of those hay rides? You know, six to 18. Depends on how big. So it can be kind of an intimate romantic group or it can be just way too many people and a little scary. You sit close to your, you know, your S.O.

Find a thigh. Jeans to jeans. Listen to Sugar Ray. That's nice. I thought you said find a thigh. Did I say find a thigh jeans to jeans listen to sugar ray that's nice i thought you said find a thigh did i say find a thigh no i think you said thigh to thigh yeah but i heard it i heard it as find a thigh that sounds like you know how you occasionally see commercials for like party games from the 1960s and they are all twister used to be called yeah they're all like exclusively like very sexual i saw one of those like recently like somebody posted on facebook like 60s kids remember this and it was just like a hoop and it was like trying to get

two people through the hoop at the same time it's like hey 60s moms and dads y'all were so fucking horny y'all were so horny all the time. And I realize that my generation can't say anything about that, but good lord. Just don't frame it. I don't want Milton Bradley to be involved with you two getting intimate. Keep it up, kids. Get a little closer. Tie your belts together in this new game from Hasbro.

Corn mazes are dope, too. You ever done a haunted corn maze? I don't think I've ever done a corn maze, Griffin. I am realizing- Oh my God. I am realizing that your life is much more wholesome than mine. You're just now realizing that?

Yes, I could have put that together earlier. Are you out of your mind? I just, I grew up in a very Midwestern area where things like hay rides and corn mazes were aplenty and somehow I never set foot in either. Yeah well let me tell you haunted corn maze extremely extremely scary. Things are chasing you. You can't see them all the time. It's extremely scary. I did go to an outdoor haunted event but I don't remember a maze being incorporated into it. It's scary. It's scary. I bet. Now a regular regular corn maze, still very scary. Because you

think the whole time something's going to come out of that corn at you, even though it hasn't been advertised as a haunted corn maze. Can I ask you a logistics question? Yes. So corn mazes, I guess it's held on farmland where people are already growing corn? Or is it brought in for the maze purpose? I'm very confused as to how a corn maze is constructed pretty sure with corn i don't know that they bring the corn in like where did your corn maze take place at a farm okay yes okay so they aren't like dropping corn stalks into ridder park no okay okay that would be wild i was very confused about how this works i don't think dropping corn stalks into Ritter Park. No. Okay, okay. That would be wild.

I was very confused about how this works. I don't think that's how corn even works. I don't think so either. Corn is the best thing. I'm glad it's a corn maze because corn is like undoubtedly the scariest vegetable. It's so tall. It's pointing like a knife.

The little sound it makes. The sound it makes? You know, when the wind whips through. Give me that. Can I have that sound? Corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn. it makes. The sound it makes? You know, when the wind whips through. Can I have that sound? Corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn. It says its own name.

Corn, corn, corn, corn, corn. I hate that. But I love corn maize. I don't know, man. I just love, I think I just love fall, and I think I romanticize it so much because we get it for like eight days here in Austin. I know. But that's okay. I had plenty, I had a nice long life of fall before i moved here into ever summer uh i think that's it you want some submissions from our friends yes i would

love it kaylee says i've had the pleasure of going to an nhl game and an nfl game this weekend so my wonderful thing this week is when people see themselves on the jumbotron that moment of seeing someone talking to a friend or family member then immediately perking up and dancing while they see themselves on the screen is absolutely delightful to see. I'd love to see different people's smiles. Yes. Oh, that's so true. And also, can I tell you, we're in this weird sweet spot right now where baseball, hockey,

and football are all happening. Wow. Isn't that kind of weird? That is a little bit weird. Yeah. I think I might do hockey this year. I think I might watch hockey like a regular sports fan would. Isn't that weird?

I've kind of started thinking, okay, maybe instead of just waiting until the playoffs. Right. We've watched every Blues game so far. I'll watch the whole season. It's very strange to me. I haven't done that since like 2010. I watched, you know, not even all of the Reds games because that would be wild. I haven't done that in a long time.

It's weird to watch it when the stakes are so low. Yeah, it's true. Where like you still want them to win, but if they lose, it doesn't really matter. I have one more here. This one's from Julia who says, my wonderful thing these days is cushioned insoles. They make cute shoes into comfortable shoes. Love this small wonder. It's a really good one.

When I was working as the ticket taker at the movie theater. Oh, did you have some insoles? Oh my God, yes. I had to have really any job at the movie theater other than like cleaning crew. Because of the cement floor on your feet all day? Yes, it sucks so bad. Concessions too, like you just can't sit down.

I worked at a world market for several years and the floor literally was cement there was like nothing no balance there yeah uh thank you to bowen and augustus for these for our theme song money won't pay you can find a link to that in the episode description and uh to maximum fun for having us on the network thank you maximum fun for hosting our show and all of the other great shows that you can find on the network like one bad mother switchblade sisters heat rocks heat rocks beef and dairy network beef and heat network the clabo that they're working on very excited for that uh yeah well that's all at maximum fun.org we have other stuff at mackroy.family and to to take us out, I'm going to show Rachel some pictures of big bears,

and you all will get to listen to the sounds that she makes. Yes. That's 435 Holly. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, you can see. Oh, the rolls. So good. I wish they had, like, before and after.

They do. Oh, what a wonderful sight this is. My mom's gay. My mom's gay. My mom's gay. My mom's gay. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. I'm Riley Smurl. I'm Sydney McElroy.

And I'm Taylor Smurl. And together we host a podcast called Still Buffering where we answer questions like Why should I not fall asleep first at a slumber party? How do I be fleek? Is it okay to break up with someone using emojis? And sometimes we talk about butts. No, we don't.

Nope. Find out the answers to these important questions and many more on Still Buffering, a sister's guide to teens through the ages. I am a teenager. And I was two. Butts, butts, butts, butts, butts. No.