Wonderful! - Wonderful! 197: The Condiment Showdown

Episode Date: September 16, 2021

We're here judging the best and the worst condiments, and things get PRETTY heated over the difference between "condiments" and "dips." We have these hard talks so you don't have to.Music: “Money Won’t Pay” by bo en and Augustus – https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoyaSupport AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hateSupport the AAPI Civic Engagement Fund: https://aapifund.org/ MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

🎵 Let's cut the BS. None of this, Hey, welcome to Wonderful Tooth Show. This is a serious episode. Whoa. This is a sweeps week, baby. So strap in.

Hi. Hi. Hi. This is Rachel. This is Griffin. But no BS. And this is wonderful. We're doing the important work.

Let's skip small wonders. Okay. Well, no, we shouldn't do that. I mean, the circle's back on, I guess. There. There it is. It's out. ikea has these little chocolate cookies that are fantastic um you can get covid tested at the at the pharmacy at the grocery store yeah it's easy we had a small scare and we went and picked up a test. I'd call it a pretty big fucking scare. But it's all relative. A medium to large size scare. Just went to CVS.

They had it for us. Long story short, our child is, our big child is home all week. He is downstairs. We have tucked him in front of his Mickey Mouse television programs and said, we have to go create content for the internet. I left him and i was looking around the room things that were in the room a pencil that's gonna get chewed on that eraser is gonna be gone you can only hope that it's outside of the child by the time we're perhaps

more dangerous his his access to adult programming on our he's not gonna. He's not gonna crack the TV. He doesn't know how to work an Apple TV remote. And if he does, yeah, that's an issue, huh? Anyway, our show is about condiments. Rachel's got the Cinemax app favorited. Anyway.

And there's some things in her history there. Anyway, our show is about condiments. Da-na-na, da-na-na. This is condiment showdown. folks holy shit griffin and i said let's do a show where we don't have to do extensive research because we don't have extensive time and we just we have no time we're recording this in this liminal space of no time like a bolt of lightning i said what about condiments and i was yes. And so what's a condiment? According to Wikipedia, it's a thing you add to another thing to change the flavor.

Right. And this, this, this is some gray area. There's some gray areas here. I was looking at your list as compared to my list. And I saw some things on your list that I thought that's not a condiment. I printed out everything that Wikipedia says is a condiment. I thought we're going to do this sort of draft draft style. Yeah, but I'm sorry. Some of these things I will not call a condiment. Okay, spices I'm happy to take off the table. I don't know that salt and pepper, do you consider salt and pepper a condiment?

There's bread on here, honey. Oh, bread is on here? There's butter on this list. Butter could be a condiment. Okay, okay, okay. Clarified butter, condiment. Okay, all right, that's fair. Yeah.

You dip in there. One thing I was thinking about because I was eating it mere minutes ago was peanut butter. I don't know that peanut butter counts as a condiment because you could put it on like ice cream to change the flavor of the ice cream, but you like-

That's like an entree. Peanut butter, like you put that in between two breads and that's your meal. And this is fucked up for me, but I feel like protein is, you can't have a protein in a condiment. If your condiment has protein in it, it is- Unless it's bacon bits.

Anyway, folks, it's all fluid. And we're just gonna start, you have a list there which excites me. Is it enumerated? Is it ranked? It's, well, so you look online for condiments, a lot of uh platforms will say here are our best condiments no get this is a huffington post article uh that says the top 20

um ranked in their preferred order i don't care what ariana huffington has to say can i tell you what did you know did you look up the top selling condiment in the u.s can i is it sriracha no sir it's much more basic than that ketchup no no not ketchup anymore 2020 people magazine reported mayo mayonnaise two billion dollars worth of mayo each year and only $800 million in ketchup. I don't, well, okay. First of all. Mustard, $450 million, way down there. Yeah, I mean, we love you mustard, but you can't hang in this category. Mayo mayonnaise, I feel like is more expensive than ketchup.

So I don't want to talk about price. I want to talk about the sheer volume, the tonnage of volume. Oh, so, okay. So, all right. You know what I'm saying? So your argument is that perhaps Americans are eating as much mayo as ketchup, but it costs more. Yeah, or perhaps even more ketchup.

But ketchup's dirt cheap. We have ways and means of creating this red stuff very quickly and easily. Let's just mayo, mustard, ketchup pan like pantheon right like that's we're just taking them out of the conversation out of the conversation can i tell you though the thing that i found interesting about condiments is how your tastes change as you age okay because as you know i had no need for ketchup not a fan of it for a long time yeah and then recently was like oh a french fry huh yeah Still don't really want to put it on anything else. Just a french fry.

Okay. Okay. I know some people put ketchup on their eggs. I don't get that. No, not a fan. I don't get that. Mayo, I didn't really have feelings about until I was older. Yeah.

Well, you start eating better sandwiches when you get older. Yeah. And sometimes those need a little bit of sandwich grease to go down. Sandwiches were literally like meat on bread. No cond oh my oh oh babe that's what would you put on mustard i would do mustard and you know some sort of spicy italian deli meat usually that was what i rolled with growing up okay but this is listen y'all know you'll know what it is mayo mayonnaise ketchup mustard you know them i really love the way you say that. They're up there.

They're up there. They're in the heavens already. We don't need to waste any time on them. Kick us off. Kick us off with one. What's special to you? What's special to me? Because I got one on the tip of my tongue.

I think you should go then. Hoisin sauce. Yeah, that came up on my list. Yeah, it's, you know, because I was thinking about, I was thinking about sort of Asian flavors and sauces. What do you like, like hoisin is like a special dish. Like if you're making a special food. Yeah. But I don't know like how I would incorporate it into my daily routine per se.

Well, you wouldn't. I don't think there are many condiments that you would add into your daily routine. I bet you could put it on a lot of stuff. Yeah. Uh, I started buying hoisin sauce at the store just to like have it around a couple of years ago.

And I do not regret that decision. You know what I looked at? So I looked up what it is. Cause I don't actually know. Yeah. Uh, soy. Yeah,

of course. Fennel, red chili peppers and garlic. Garlic. Garlic is like, it like understated it's like the god spice because it is in everything right uh hoisin sauce this the the texture of it super sticky it gets you that barbecue sauce style feel right and so that makes it like on uh you know whatever meat like we uh i had some duck with hoisin sauce. That's like a classic,

classic pairing. Gotta have that. But like Korean barbecue, any kind of like sticky, sticky rib situation with hoisin sauce. I love soy sauce. Soy sauce is also like, folks, we can't cover every kind of, soy sauce is obviously in the pantheon. It's used in so many different types of cooking and it's like always dope. But ho sauce don't forget about it no i know it's easy to forget about it it's so easy but don't forget about hoisin sauce okay one might say it's so easy that it could sit in your fridge well past its expiration date yeah i would say i will say a special another as long as we're doing shout outs for fish sauce because like same thing like fish sauce when i cook with it i and i eat it i'm like fuck that's good why am i not eating more fish sauce because like same thing yeah fish sauce when i cook with it i and i

eat it i'm like fuck that's good why am i not eating more fish sauce and then i forget about fish sauce and then we have just old ass fish on my list i have fish sauce which is fish fermented with salt apparently you can use it to make a good burger i don't doubt it yeah i think i think i've done that before yeah because i've used soy sauce before and obviously uh worcestershire yeah which is not on my list no it is also a condiment yeah worcestershire's fine i don't know i know my dad was big into worcestershire sauce but like i don't know what you use it for other than making your hamburgers a little bit zesty a little bit tangier yeah i don't know sorry worcestershire you get an F. You're the first failure on our list today. You want me to go?

I do so badly. Okay. I want to talk about sriracha. Okay. Yeah. Sriracha is one of those things that I think is intimidating because you think, oh, it must be so spicy. But it's really not that spicy if you use it moderately. Moderately. Moderately.

Yeah, if you use it moderately i think you should i like it i like this is an example of a tomato based situation that i like on eggs i like sriracha on like eggs i obviously i also like it on noodles uh incredible stuff that that uh chili peppers distilled vinegar garlic sugar salt yeah it's definitely a good gateway drug into other chili paste opportunities i'm a big fan of like a sambal which i probably didn't pronounce correctly um yeah i also just like the container i mean we could we could spend a lot of time i mean listen this might be a two-part episode but i like the container of sriracha it's very easy to like you know portion control yeah i think so too yeah sometimes ketchup you're like whoa slow down but sriracha

it's got that very fine point do we need to let's just do a quick just like gut check okay okay dips are dips dips condiments dips condiments yes or no oh i know i mean usually you have to special order i see condiment is something that you could find on the table in a restaurant without you even having to ask for it and like a hummus for example i don't see that as a condiment okay on my list i have a fruit jam which i don't see as a condiment uh although sometimes you will find that on a table in a breakfast uh yeah i think a jam i think a jam's okay actually you know what i you know what it is for me it's got to be a single ingredient thing right like a spinach no no listen a spinach and artichoke dip is not a condiment because that's it's got so much stuff but i've just been reading you ingredients to

various dips that we said that we like okay yeah but like i can't i'm probably not going to make sriracha but i could make a spinach and artichoke dip do you know what i mean yeah see i think my my we're in the weeds my rule works better okay fine gravy is gravy a condiment i think it's gotta be right no that's a side it's just you don't what that's a side that's like a dish you don't just eat but you put it on stuff to change the flavor and texture of it yeah but like you wouldn't see gravy out at a restaurant just for regular use i guess that's fair okay so then curry is also we would not curry is curry comes in so many varieties i love and i i've yet to meet a curry i don't adore yeah but is it i think it's an entree i think it's an entree yeah if you order it off the menu and it's like come get this curry

like you don't see on a menu like hey come have some come have some mayonnaise yeah i also feel like a condiment should have like a multi-use scenario and the fewer the uses the less it's a condiment that's great that's great then all right so we'll just take that out of the out of the picture then um what about an au jus i think an au jus counts i think that's a i think that can be a delightful accompaniment to so many multiple things to multiple things i mean beefy things yeah it's essentially the beef juice of the beef i think i feel like jew is the same as gravy okay i mean you you said it we're gonna we're gonna get into some fights i think i think we already have gotten into some pretty very serious fights then okay well i feel like i'm just putting

up bricks over here all right can i can i talk about ranch yeah oh god this guy this fucking guy ranch i didn't really actually know what was in ranch i just knew that it was hard to find dairy-free it's cream and ranch flavoring it's buttermilk very often yeah uh and then hidden valley ranch package salt garlic onion mustard herbs and spices yeah sure sometimes they use sour cream or yogurt to substitute for buttermilk or mayo um ranch though oh do you remember the first time you put an item in ranch as a dip uh no because i mean obviously a vegetable like a carrot but i'm talking about when you put like a pizza or a cheesy bread. I think the first time I did like a popcorn chicken, we used to have, which is popcorn chicken is just small chicken nuggets. And I think we're all ready to admit that as a nation.

But as a child, dipping a popcorn chicken into a ranch dressing and eating it, that was that changed things for me. I didn't have. I know a lot of people experiment in college. I did not have something dipped, like a pizza dipped in ranch until college. We had a chain called Gumby's, which I think is exclusively in college towns. Yeah. And you could get little cheesy sticks with ranch. Oh my God.

It was like... Yeah. It was like the Matrix. Yeah. It was like yeah it was like the matrix yeah it's like zeros and ones everywhere all of a sudden i am going to put with an asterisk marinara sauce because there are many applications of marinara sauce like if you use red sauce on a pizza that's not a condiment that's an integral component to it but you dip you a breadstick in marinara sauce i cannot live without that i can't this is dips this is dips versus condiments again griffin ranch dressing is a condiment but that you dip in yes oh my god this episode was a mistake maple syrup we love this you cannot say that's a condiment okay that's a condiment

well i what possible counter what else could it possibly be a beverage i suppose to some to some people canadians most likely and canadians y'all don't have to do that anymore just drink like i feel like it happened in movies and TV shows, right? But like, y'all don't have to do it. Like, we get it. It's amazing. It's very, very good stuff. And y'all do a great job with it.

All right. Maple syrup. Like, what else do you have to say? It's the thing that I'm always worried about whether or not it's in our house or not. Yes. And sometimes it's not. And that makes me really stressed out. Sometimes it is. And again, see,. And that makes me really stressed out. Sometimes it is. And again, see, this is another facet of condiments.

Like, we keep condiments in our fridge until they get up and walk out on their own. Mm-hmm. And maple syrup is one of those. I don't know how long we can keep it. I don't know how long you're allowed to keep it. We should really bring in an expert at some point. Probably. Probably, probably. Do you want to talk about another one or should we take a little break?

Yeah, I think we've reached a logical point to take a break. Because I honestly, babe, I think we need to cool things down a little bit between us. Because the arguing has been pretty challenging this episode. But also the like sexual tension. pretty challenging this episode, but also the like sexual tension. And there could, and babe,

there could not be a worse time for us to be developing sex with each other because you're on your lunch break and our child's downstairs. So let's ice it. Let's ice it. And let me steal you away, please. Okay. Got a couple of potato bops here. And this one is for future Joel. And it's from past Joel who screams into the time tunnel.

Hey, you, we both know this isn't exactly what you wanted, but I think you could still use a reminder to love yourself. Even if it's from yourself, you're're here you're queer and you're doing your best you're a wonderful friend a caring partner and are so loved i'm proud of you for continuing to survive and maybe even thrive i love you go pet the cats i understand that for joel joel needs like memento style reminders to touch the animals and give them the physical, because that's their love language, all animals,

is physical touch. That's not true at all. Most animals' love language is like some ham or like a leaf. But Joel's not ham. No. So touch works. Touch is good too.

Can I read the next one? Please, please, please. It is for Linz. It is from Steph. Dear Linz, while 2021 has definitely been the hardest year out of the past 17 we've spent together, we made it through together, and that's what counts. I love you so much, and I'm so happy that we're settled in our cozy little bungalow and ready to make it home let's pop some bubbly watch something gay and

snuggle up tonight love steph that is there's a lot of options there for popping something bubbly huh obviously champagne or something a lot of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sparkling, but I mean, God, there's so much, isn't there? You could do, that could mean Alka-Seltzer. Which, to be honest, sounds like a better evening to me. Oh, Griffin. We have wasted this world. Our magic put a storm in the sky that has rendered the surface of our planet uninhabitable.

But beneath the surface, well, that's another story entirely. In a city built leagues below the apocalypse, survivors of the storm forge paths through a strange new world. Some seek salvation for their homeland above. Others seek to chart the vast undersea expanse outside the city's walls. And others still seek, what else? Fortune and glory. Dive into the Aether Sea, the latest campaign from the Adventure Zone, every other Thursday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you listen to podcasts can i go again oh my yes i wanted to see i some of these things on this list that i pulled yeah are exciting to me

okay uh because i don't think about them as condiments okay uh wasabi wasabi for sure it's definitely a condiment absolutely but for me it's like exclusively like delivered to me in the form of like a takeout like we don't just have it in the house no yeah i don't yeah we don't keep wasabi around the house because it is always uh except for maybe the times that we have made sushi rolls, which at this point has been like a decade. It's been a very long time since we've done that. I do like to keep ginger, like pickled ginger around the house just because that stuff keeps for 100 years. Yeah. That I don't think is a condiment because I don't usually put it on the thing. I just eat it as a little palate cleanser.

So that's a side. Okay. I'm glad. Wasabi is very pricey. Oh, for sure. It's part of it. Well, it depends, right? Because you can get the over-the-counter wasabi, which is just horseradish dyed green. Yeah. A lot of the time.

But if you want that legit graded, you know, like Japanese mountaintop shit, like it's, you know, I think the street price for that is like 15 bucks a gram you got a guy you got a guy i might i might got a guy um hey we can't just hop and skip and jump right over muster without talking about his friend dijon and brown and sweet honey like there's a lot of different let's let's you know what to simplify this mustard you're up in the pantheon but let me grab you rip you off your throne and shatter you to the ground and me and rachel are going to sift through the pieces best mustard best mustard variant i mean i think yellow mustard is a joke wow i i feel like wow i put it on a hot dog really just for aesthetics i don't you like the bright yellow color yeah i think if i'm making a sandwich yeah it's dijon all the way i like the that this episode probably has the most paper rustling foley in the background because it's got like 12 angry men energy.

Just the two of us locked in this room with like, Damn it. Look, Deshawn. Yellow for me is like maybe the winner, second maybe only to that stone ground, like mustard caviar stuff. Yeah. Wow, that's good. Yellow, yellow.

It tastes so good. Yellow tastes so good on so much stuff. I mean, I do like it, to your point, on a salami, for sure. Yeah. And a hot dog. Yeah. Again, I can see its value yeah but if i am making a sandwich with just like a turkey and a lettuce and a tomato i'm not putting that yellow stuff

okay i like i like dijon but i only like dijon i'm very specific because dijon is so spicy it gets in the nose to me okay let's let's do some some comparisons Okay. So we'll put it on the same page. Yes. So a yellow mustard is like a Kool-Aid. And a Dijon, oh, it's like a. Spicy Kool-Aid. I don't know where you're going. It's like a sparkling beverage. Wow. Dijon is like, I mean, it's like a journey.

Is this the most out of touch you've been with the common people? Maybe. I think so. As a child, you know, I could traffic in the yellow mustard. Right. Because I knew not what the world held. Yeah. Dijon for me now is, I mean, it's enlightenment.

Right. You know? Dijon for me now is, I mean, it's enlightenment. Right. You know? And I just, I only hope one day you can join me, I guess. I like Dijon. It's just like, yellow is, okay, this has been too much of the show. We, I don't even know how to, okay, I'm about to, you know that scene in The Matrix where like all the guns and shit go flying by him as he like chooses like what he wants to take with him? Yes.

I'm going to say hot sauce. And then like just like an infinite spectrum of hot sauces spreads out in front of us. If you look at my life span as a whole, hot sauce is a very important condiment to me. span as a as a whole hot sauce is a very important condiment to me if you look at my life from like age 18 and onward much smaller footprint just because of my tummy and how i sort of grew into it as a child though i it could not be hot enough like and i could not put it on enough stuff i used to put hot sauce on my pepperoni rolls. Yeah, I can see that. And just like go for it. I can see that.

Some people put hot sauce on pizza. Yes. Oh my God. Go to, hit up a Schlotzky's and get that, get that, what, Louisiana hot sauce stuff that they had there. Oh my goodness. Can I tell you about a college meal

that I had frequently? Yes, yes. That is embarrassing now to talk about out loud. It was rice and broccoli. Great. That is embarrassing now to talk about out loud. It was rice and broccoli. Great. Sour cream. Okay. All right.

Tabasco. All right. And a tortilla, like a burrito. I don't hate it. Yeah. I don't hate it. It's got, it's got. The Tabasco really made it for me.

Tabasco is not my favorite. No, I know. It's, it's, it's very, to me, Tabasco really made it for me. Tabasco is not my favorite hot sauce. No, I know. It's very... To me, Tabasco tastes very chemically. We can't possibly discuss all of the many kinds of hot sauces that there are. Because you could go with the Franks, which is much creamier, or it's something that is a little bit more sort of... The Cholula, man.

But for me, it's Cholula all the way. And it's the thing we keep in the house. I know it's basic, but like... Moved to Texas, and it's just like, it's the house i know it's basic but like moved to texas and it's just like it's step one i feel like it's so good it's so not overwhelming but the flavor is so good every time sometimes i will just go into the kitchen and have a little little hankering and i will just get out like a bag of tortilla chips and the cholula crack it open and just stand there like a little assembly line just putting a little dip dip yeah no it it makes almost everything better a lot of times we will get um you know a food item that is kind of

bland yeah it's just oh well let's just add chalula um i mean do we as long as we're let's sidestep right into salsas which i would love to do yeah in life. Yeah, so here is the thing, right? So salsa is a condiment. Yeah. But it is a dip. It's everything. But I think we can all agree it would be wild to say

it's not a condiment. It's a lot of things but it's a condiment also. Yes. You would find it with the condiments in a store. Absolutely you would. So like,

where do we go from here? Like in our marriage? mean okay uh for me i love i love salsa obviously i'm i live in oh i mean we could talk about texture we could talk about ingredients yes and we could talk about flavorings we could talk about color like for me i'm really into like a tomatillo these days like a green i like a tomatillo and i like a pico de gallo i like a like a chunky i like very like very uh i don't want my salsa too hot because i want to savor the the chunks you know yeah i but also i'm a delicate little baby and so i also don't want my my salsa too too super hot um Yeah. But, damn, actually, I don't know, shit, if I'm at like a really nice restaurant

that has like several salsas, I will try their very spicy salsa because it's also other stuff too. It tastes good. Mm-hmm. It's salty, it's sweet, it's sweet maybe.

Mm-hmm. Umami. Salsa is another thing as a child I had no use for. I used to do this grotesque thing where I would push the chip into the salsa just to get the juices, but no vegetables whatsoever. I think that's every kid, honestly. I feel like that is every kid's introduction to salsa of like, well, I'll take the end that was just like squished like a rind

of salsa that was horrific but uh yeah there there's there i can't get enough of this stuff now okay i mean obviously also mole mole i think we're starting to get a little bit closer to curry territory we're like if i'm ordering the restaurant it's like the thing the star okay i love a mole but sorry mole we'll have to do a i don't know what that would be moist dishes episode um you know we talked about mustard we haven't talked about honey mustard and i believe it deserves a mention well damn let's step right back for the third time back into the mustard pit whoa welcome to the segment i think is worth talking about i don't but we can agree to disagree i wouldn't dip a chicken popper into a regular yellow mustard but i would a honey mustard damn it you got me there you know okay fine i just think i we don't have to talk about it at length i just honey mustard okay you want to talk about barbecue sauce i don't really

i don't really okay i like barbecue sauce it's just like i i don't know what is it sweet sweet baby rays is like yeah i don't like it too vinegary i don't really think you need much i like it i like it i just don't have strong feelings about barbecue sauce right because i feel like probably more ketchupy than vinegary for me i want it to sort of stick to it for me the ideal barbecue sauce is like thick enough to to stick like uh you know plaster to whatever you put it on yeah exactly i'm not interested in like a kind of spicy, liquidy one. That's okay. Then we don't need that. We don't have to talk about it.

Are we only going to talk about the ones that are contentious? Well, I think it's important that we figure this stuff out. What about relish? Oh, gosh. Will you put relish on a hot dog these days? No, no. I've never been into that. I will eat like a...

It's mostly pickles. So that'll be a reason not to for people that aren't huge pickle fans. But like a relish on the side at like a German beer house or something like that. That's like a thick cut sort of relish experience. But then I like it as a side dish. I don't love it as a condiment. I guess that's how I could summarize it. Olive oil.

The first time I went to a spaghetti factory just how many of your stories start i remember it like it was yesterday this is this is a romantic episode my my mom loved the spaghetti factory oh yeah of course and i think probably most moms do because you can get an outrageous amount of spaghetti there, folks. And it also feels like, oh, an Italian restaurant. Yeah. It's kind of like the Olive Garden. Like you would go before a dance. Yeah.

It's like an occasion. But I remember going to the spaghetti factory. Yes. And they set little saucers in front of all of us. Oh, for the bread. And they put the olive oil in it and cracked the cracked pepper in it and they're like say when and i was like i don't know what you're doing so how can i possibly have feelings about like what's the right i've never had olive oil and pepper before do i just slurp this down but

then they're like you did the dip you dip the bread and i did that and i was like oh it's good who's a fancy little good olive oil yeah yeah and you know they only have the best at the spaghetti factory. It's a factory that makes spaghetti. So, yeah, obviously you can put it on other stuff too. But just a little drizzle of it. I love it. It's very flavor neutral. It's just like a little bit extra, a little extra something on there, huh?

Yeah. EVOO, the orig, I don't care. I'm not picky. No, I love it. I love it. 100%. A plus condiment. Are you out of condiments over there? No, I mean, I've got some. I'm just trying to decide if I really want to dip my toe in. I'm definitely winding down over here. Wow. I can't believe it's been a half hour wow i mean we could talk about tartar sauce we don't have to though i didn't actually know what was in tartar sauce okay so uh let me tell you mayo pickles capers herbs uh sometimes lemon juice

olives yeah i tartar sauce is kind of magical to me if I'm eating a fish item uh because it is not a condiment I would ever use for anything other than fish yes and it is kind of exciting to be like oh hey there you are I haven't seen you in a while how do we feel about spices do we want to discount them entirely I don't know I saw condiments like salt and I was like, okay. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, yeah. I got very into za'atar when we were doing more sort of like cooking intensive meal box stuff. Oh, the meal boxes, yeah. So that definitely, I feel like I learned a lot about a lot of different kinds of spices.

I don't really want to do spices, I don't think. Okay, fine. Spices, sorry. Stand to the side, please. Spices, stand to the side. We'll get back to you. Or we won't get back to you. Or we won't. Maybe we won't. Sesame sauce, good. Sesame sauce is good. I've only used it a few times for a little extra something something on dishes I've cooked, and both times I was like, hey, this tastes like sesame. It's a very good flavor.

And vinegar. And vinegar. I mean vinegar is another one that you could go for. Vinegar is another one of those things. It feels exotic to me. As a Midwestern person, I didn't have a lot of vinegar traditions, but I know in other parts of the country, in the globe, vinegar is an essential ingredient. And I am on board. I think there's, I mean, obviously there's a lot of um there's a lot of stuff that we haven't gotten into yet here well and then there's also a lot of flavors of mayonnaise so

there's aioli oh god yes you know but i i feel like you know with mayo comes aioli it's just more garlic uh i mean what about peri peri sauce oh yeah that's good stuff it's very good stuff and it is another thing that like didn't didn't make my way until i was an adult i mean i would say just as a child you're kind of scared of adding things to things that you know absolutely like okay i know bologna i know white bread what is this i'm sorry i'm not interested yeah i feel like this is one of the things that i didn't know about until i lived in a city with like lots of foods from different cultures in it and uh i got into it okay i think there's obviously lots of other stuff that we haven't talked about and it's not that we hate that stuff is that our child's downstairs who doing god knows what

oh we do need to move on to the club to the finale but before they're dessert what do you put on ice cream what kind of condiments go on the ice yeah i didn't even think about the sweet condiments let's just let's just maraschino cherry one like one or two great love that get a little bit of the extra drizzle. Chocolate sauce for sure. Sprinkles. Let me, let me, Magic Shell was my road dog for a long time. We had a Heath Bar Magic Shell bottle that was just always, always in the rotation.

You took your desserts seriously in your house. Again, my mom took those desserts. She was the proponent for Magic Shell, but I mean, she converted the rest of us um chopped nuts chopped nuts yeah that's interesting right like that's that i mean it's a condiment i guess sure but it's gone nuts nuts has protein yes all right that's it we have we really do need to go check on our son so we're gonna get off the phone thank you to bowen and augustus for these for a theme song when he won't pay if i link to that in the episode description and thank you to maximum fun for having us on the network go to maximum fun.org check out all the great shows there shows like stop podcasting yourself and uh beef and dairy network and jordan jesse go go and all of them

all of them uh we have merch at mackerelmerch.com we really gotta go though and thank you all sorry again for i know shit's been wild for our schedule and probably yours i hope you all enjoy condiments as much as we do we love maybe you got a little reminder about something in your fridge you haven't used in a while and i know we've we leapfrogged over entire probably continents when covering these things uh but we you know in like what's your shit i'm always open to new condiments what's your shit you know what i mean like what's your jam not you sorry i know i'm looking at you and like i look like i'm really asking you but i'm asking the audience should we pick a favorite just to close us out? I can't stop thinking about hoisin sauce.

I can't stop thinking about hoisin sauce. Maybe you should cook something with the hoisin. Nah. Nah. Bye! Bye. Hey! Hey! Hey!