Wonderful! - Wonderful! 206: Big City Boil

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

Rachel’s favorite ping-ponging poet! Griffin’s favorite novel medical tests! Music: “Money Won’t Pay” by bo en and Augustus – https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoya Support AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate Support the AAPI Civic Engagement Fund: https://aapifund.org/ MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hello, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is Wonderful. I just had, seconds before we started recording yes the most disappointing like false start sneeze that i can remember like in in recent memory it was like right there and i was like my elbow was cocked and ready to like vampire cover it up and i was already thinking about like what my day was gonna be like after this one after this sneeze after this one what was going to be a pretty pretty righteous

sneeze came out but now you know it sucks it's like right it's right behind the nostril now it's like it could jump out at any second oh we can leave it in just so the listeners know uh yeah yeah i'll be pretty happy and excited when it finally comes out and i want our listeners know? Yeah, yeah. I'll be pretty happy and excited when it finally comes out. And I want our listeners to like share that with me. You can't share COVID over a podcast application. Not that you have COVID, Griffin. No, but it's better to be safe, you know? Yeah, okay. Yeah, this is a show where we talk about,

it's gonna kill me. This is a show where we talk about things that we like and things that we're into. I might go and neti pot just to like get that sneeze out just to push the sneeze back in for 30 minutes so we can record our loving podcast together um so shall we talk about things we like things that we're into getting into that holiday season yeah a lot of stuff back to back for us we got henry's birthday and thanksgiving and then hanukkah starts pretty soon yeah and hanuk Hanukkah. Yeah, it's, things are.

And then our anniversary. And then our, whoo. I hadn't thought about that either. It's okay. Norm B, thank God. It's only a problem if one of us forgets what's coming up. Yes, true. We have to be on the same page.

Yeah. Yeah, special, special days. You have a small, one of the small wonders? I am gonna say Old Bay. Old Bay. Have we talked about Old Bay? I think so. I was at the grocery store, and I realized how brand loyal I was when I looked at the shelves and saw a lot of Creole and Cajun seasoning, but did not see Old Bay.

And thought, well, forget it. I guess I'm not going to buy anything. We have some in the pantry. Don't worry. It's just it's not entirely full, and I don't know how much of that bad boy I'm going to use. But you're planning a low country boil, yes? Well, I don't even want to call it that because it's going to be real DIY.

Yeah. Because I'm just going to kind of back into it and see if what comes out is defined as low country maybe you could call it a big city boil oh i like that i do like that also all the little potatoes have like little earbuds in yeah your spuds ear spuds ear spuds oh honey that's so good um i'm good this may be confusing to you because i i uh decried the television program when it first came out, but I'm going to say Cowboy Bebop, the live action version of it that's on Netflix. Really? with it because it is not as good as the as the anime was but also i'm now convinced that there wasn't going to be a good way to like live ad action adaptate that particular like thing

adapt yeah it's another version of saying that there wasn't a version a live action version of it that like was truly faithful to the anime and good at the same time yeah so instead they made a show that is not super faithful to the anime in tone and in certain cases like character stuff but it is if you turn off that part of your brain it's pretty it's a pretty that's what i was wondering like if somebody like me who is not especially familiar with the animated version like rolled up would i think it was perfectly fine that's tough too right because the show has some like flaws like it it uh the fight choreography is like like kind of clunky and slow which in the anime was like fucking rad i had that specifically well i know but there's ways of doing it better than than it happens in the show there's ways of doing it better than,

than it happens in the show. There's like little stuff like that, that I think if you came into it fresh without that nostalgia, like entirely, it would still be kind of hit or miss. But I think if you are reminiscing about the show and you're willing to put up with something that is not exactly like on, on point with it, uh,

it's a fun ride. I've been enjoying it because gus has been waking up many times a night over the last week and so that's when i've been uh diving in so yeah if you want to watch something with a baby on your lap at two in the morning this is the show for you do you want to do your first thing yeah by which i mean your only thing we're always gonna say that huh yeah. It is a trip to the poetry corner. Come on and take a free ride to the poetry corner. Well, I like that.

Yeah, me too. Getting a rebrand on this corner. Edgar Wintergroup had so many fucking slappers. I don't know how I haven't done that on the show, but he did Freeride, he did Frankenstein,

that and Living to Die, a lot of jams. Anyway, poets. Poets. This is a poet that is new to me and I'm guessing

will be new to you. It wouldn't be fucked up if it wasn't new to me. I know, right? And you were like, you did my whole segment for me. Nick Flynn. Oh, yeah.

Yeah? Oh, yeah. The antagonist hero from Tangled. Oh. Yeah. Or the fox, the silly fox from Zootopia. You know, I will tell you that he has written a memoir that turned into a film called Being Flynn

that I have not seen, but stars Robert De Niro, Paul Dano, and Julianne Moore. Huh. Doesn't that sound like Oscar bait, if you've ever heard it? Did you say in like Flint? No, Being Flynn. Okay, that's a different one.

Go ahead. So Nick Flynn, born in Massachusetts, debuted his first poetry collection in 2000. 2000. I was going to say 2000. Wow, pretty hot off the presses stuff. And then I realized that that was 21 fucking years ago. Yeah, for sure. He has had like a very, I mean, you can understand perhaps why he has written multiple memoirs

because he has had a very challenging life and and the whole story of being flynn is that he was working in a boston shelter as a social worker and a man came in that was in fact his dad uh that he had not had a relationship with yeah yeah uh and then when you think when people heard about that when he was like how was your day nick and they told he was like yeah my my dad came in and you know somebody was like i would like to option the film rights by the way now the the memoir that being flynn is based on the title it sounds familiar to me but probably because the first time I heard it, it was so incredible.

The memoir is titled Another Bullshit Night in Suck City. That's good. Isn't that great? Yeah. So Nick Flynn, I feel like, has kind of like a Dave Eggers quality. I know.

Which made me think that you might like him because he kind of ping-pongs back and forth between real deep sadness think that you might like him um because he kind of ping-pongs back and forth between like real like deep like kind of sadness and then like really really funny so i wanted to read two poems one that kind of swings on the sad side and one that swings on the funny side all right as long as it swings you know me do you have a preference as to which one i read first uh the swinginess one you got cool cat okay i'll read the funny one do you like jazz rachel are you gonna tell me about jazz no this is just my new character as a character i've been doing a lot lately do you like jazz

do you like jazz do you have anything to follow that or is that the whole character that's pretty much it. Okay. Yeah. Nobody ever really wants to know more about that guy, you know? So before I read this poem, just some background on Nick Flynn. He splits his time between Houston and Brooklyn, New York, and he teaches creative writing at the University of Houston.

So this poem is called 47 Minutes. Years later, I'm standing before a room full of young writers in a high school in Texas. I've asked them to locate an image in a poem we just read. Their heads at this moment are bowed to the page. After some back and forth about the grass and styrofoam cup, a girl raises her hand and asks, does it matter? I smile. It is as if the universe balanced on those three words and we've landed in the unanswerable. I have to admit that no, it doesn't not really matter if rain is an image or rain is an idea or rain is a sound in our heads. But I whisper, leaning leaning in close to get through the next 47 minutes we might have to pretend it does so so charming yeah i imagine it hits even harder if you went and did a lot of

poetry school things yeah i mean i don't i don't actually know if the student's intent was to kind of draw into question, like, the whole lesson. But that's so easy to do when you are in any kind of literature class, to be like, hey, what does this matter? It's like, well, I mean, not really, not actually, no. Guys, we should be learning, like, math and engineering, don't you think? Let's get out of here. Okay, so now the sad poem. Oh, man. So just a content warning.

This is about kind of a sudden tragic loss of somebody you care about. Okay. And the poem is in fact called Sudden. If it had been a heart attack, the newspaper might have used the word massive, as if a mountain range had opened inside her. But instead, it used the word massive, as if a mountain range had opened inside her. But instead, it used the word suddenly, a light coming on in an empty room. The telephone fell from my shoulder, a black parrot repeating something happened, something awful. A Sunday, dusky. If it had been terminal, we could have cradled her as she grew

smaller, wiped her mouth, said goodbye. But it was sudden. How overnight we could be orphaned and the world become a bell we'd crawl inside and the ringing all we'd eat. Fuck. Right. I can't read that last part without just like feeling it in my whole body. I know. It's devastating.

Yeah. It's a devastating poem and i mean as i mentioned you know the poet is somebody who has suffered a lot of a lot of loss that i won't necessarily get into but uh i think to swing from 47 minutes which is this kind of like light-hearted poem about like teaching a creative writing class to like this poem about like extreme loss just kind of speaks to the range and ability of this poet. Yeah. But he made me sad, so I will never forgive him.

Sorry about that. Or you, I guess, by extension, yeah. Yeah, this is a guy that has not just written poets and memoirs, as i have mentioned he is also a playwright uh so he i mean it's it's it's pretty i don't know it's pretty incredible his first poetry collection came out when he was 40 years old wow uh so i i it's again it's just kind of a reminder of like you are only limited by by your own ambition i I guess. Yeah. And maybe talent. And grit. Gotta be tough as nails to be a poet in this economy.

So yeah, check out Nick Flynn. Hey, can I steal you away? Yeah. Oh, we have a couple of bubble boys here. Yeah, can I read this one? It'll be confusing. Yes, yes, yes. This message is for Brian.

It is from Rachel. What the hell? Hi, Boo Boo. My heart can't contain how much I love you and our whole penguin family. This isn't for me. No, no. Coming home to you is my favorite part of the day, and you make me laugh and smile like no one else can. Thank you for being an absolute joy in the light of my life.

Also, I love your butt. Love, Rachie, Benny, Bailey, Sheepy, and the Pengoos. It still cuts deep. If your name is Rachel, please no longer send jumbotrons in, and if you do, make them very platonic. Baby, you know. you know your butt is the only one is the only butt and also we don't have penguins so to speak so i i think i think i think we're in the clear here uh here's another message this one is for sarah from zeus who says happy birthday sarah i'm so glad we became friends and that I finally listened to your advice

to add wonderful to my McElroy rotation. You're just like the pod, positive, delightful, funny, and a joy to be around. I can't wait for you to call me crying because your two favorite people, not including me, wish you a happy B-Day. I love you so much, Julia. Wow.

Wow. This was supposed to be close to October 12th, so sorry about that. Oh, we did not do that good, huh? Yeah. Dang it. But I'm sure they've been listening anxiously this whole time, and now they're just exploding with joy. I don't know. This podcast has more of like a spring-summer energy, and so, yeah, the audience falls right off in the fall, early winter, so. energy. And so, yeah, the audience falls right off in the fall, early winter. So. I feel like you'd need some joy in the winter, though. Yeah, but it's, you know, we have more party energy.

That's true. Yeah. That's true. People always say that about us. Hi, it's Jesse Thorne, the founder of Maximum Fun. It's the Thanksgiving season, and I want to take this opportunity to thank you, the members of Maximum Fun. This MaxFunDrive, your generosity and your love of pins, helped us raise over $90,000 to help bridge the digital divide. Families without internet access struggle to do things that the rest of us might take for granted, especially during COVID. Going to school, applying for jobs, fighting medical care. Your donations help the nonprofit Everyone On. They provide equipment, services, and training to get people online so they can access opportunity.

You can find out more about the great work Everyone On does at everyoneon.org. Thanks for supporting Maximum Fun. Thanks for supporting Everyone On. And thanks for being awesome people who want to do good in the world. Sorry, mentioning Tough as Nails wants me to like pivot from the segment I was going to do to talk about the new CBS reality show, Tough as Nails. That we see commercials for while we're watching Survivor. Anytime we see a preview for that, we're like,

who is this for? And Griffin universally says dads. It's the host of Amazing Race, name is phil phil keegan something like that and the contest as far as i can tell is just a lot of like manual manual labor which is which is certainly you know a an incredibly noble and necessary thing but it's like for this challenge you're going to carry these chairs up 10 flights of stairs. And it's like, uh... Yeah, it's not even like they haven't gamified it.

They're just doing errands. We're guessing this from the commercials because we haven't watched the show. But like every time we watch it, he's like, drive a hundred nails into this boat. And it's like... I think the thing that is alarming to me is that the tasks are more practical than that and so it just makes me think that they have invited people to be on a reality

show to do like task rabbit projects yeah because it's just like hey get all this stuff from the first floor up to the fifth floor and thanks and some like you know big bearded business owner walks up to phil and he's all right, here's your $200. He's like, I'm going to divvy this up. Who's the winner? Okay, anyway, no, my thing this week. And it's going to sound like one of those things that like I ran out of time to come up with something. And so I just made up some bullshit, but I promise it's not.

It's going to the optometrist. Oh, yeah. See, you know, we talked about this recently because Griffin and I are both overdue for the dentist. And the other day Griffin was like, I'm going to go to the optometrist. And I was like, oh, I never think of doing that. I go like once every three years. My optometrist gave me a hard time because it's been like two and a half years since I went because of COVID. And I wasn't really prioritizing that.

And she was like, yeah, we've heard that a lot. And I was like, it's also true of the dentist. And she was like, oh, yeah. I have not been to the dentist that a lot. And I was like, it's also true of the dentist. And she was like, oh, yeah. I have not been to the dentist in a while. Okay. So, yeah, going to the optometrist rules for so many reasons. I've been wearing glasses since, like, maybe junior year of high school because, like, I noticed that I couldn't see the whiteboard as well anymore. And so I went to the optometrist and got my first pair of glasses and was like, oh, yeah, I like these. I like how these look on me.

Yeah, Griffin made the point, and it's true. Like, his face was almost missing glasses. And then once they connected those two pieces, it was like, oh, this is how I'm supposed to look. So I want to break down what it is I like about the optometrist. Okay. Because I went last week, and I felt like I had just gotten back from a day at the spa. I'm curious about this because i don't particularly enjoy it i mean like i enjoy like getting the right answers on like you know which way an e is facing but like that's a huge one for me that's a huge one okay this time i went in and

you keep your glasses on if you already have glasses they're like all right read the letter chart and see which row you can read and i just read off that bottom line like I was reading a fucking billboard. And they're like, wow, amazing. You have the right glasses. Yeah, more or less. Yeah, my prescription did not change that much despite the fact that it is a two and a half year old prescription, which is kind of wild

because my eyesight has been, I would say, degenerating pretty reliably year over year. But it's holding steady now, which I appreciate. All the tests that they run on those peepers to make sure they're doing okay, I kind of enjoy because they are so novel. It's kind of like when you work out and it hurts, but you know I'm gonna come out strong,

that satisfaction of like, yeah, I'm stronger now. I get that from optometrist tests. Do you have like a particularly chill optometrist? I have an incredibly chill optometrist. That may help too. For me, it feels very high stakes. Like I feel like kind of like nervous and edgy. The tests are usually administered by like, you know, an assistant or something like that.

Tests are usually administered by like, you know, an assistant or something like that. But yeah, the one where they shine like this super, super, super bright light in your eyes and makes your eyes water like, this is going to make me sound like I'm a masochist. This is like your weird thing. Maybe, but don't yuck my yums. The one where you have to like look into the little like viewfinder, a little virtual boy looking thing to like, and you see like a barn in the background and it like focuses. That's good shit. The one where they do the tiny little puff of air right in your eyes.

Gosh, this is weird. I kind of like it because it's like scary. I don't like my eyes water a little bit, but then when it's done, I'm like, ooh, okay, that one's over. It's kind of like fun, like a roller coaster. You you get off a roller coaster you're like oh that was scary but next time next time you and i are uh intimate oh you're gonna just blow in my eye i'm gonna blow in your eye and take a big flashlight and just hold it like an inch from your face um yeah let's talk about that after the recording okay um the one i don't care for as much is the

field of vision test because i am partially partially blind in my left eye and so i always say something to the person administering the test like hey just so you know i know about this i don't want you to be alarmed and think that you've discovered some thing that you're gonna have to break news to me i'm going to fuck up the left eye part so just just so you know that i always do that when i get a massage i'm like hey my back is real messed up and i know that it is yeah just so you don't get confused when you're in there yeah you don't want them to be rubbing your back and be like holy shit did you know about this jeff get in here get in here uh the field vision test i because i do it with my right eye. And when you do it with a, you know, perfectly, you know, healthy eye, then it's like, I'm

looking for these little blips, these little blips of light. Oh, there's one. There's one. Yeah. Blip. Yeah. Got it. I'm crushing it.

I'm crushing it. But then when you do it with your cool, partially blind eye and you don't catch a blip, you're like, wait a minute. Was that in my blind spot or did I just not see it? Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Um, also that test sort of reveals whether or not your blind spot is getting worse.

So the stakes are about as high as they can be. That said, it is because of a field of vision test that I discovered I was partially blind. Exactly, yeah. So I guess that test can, I guess it can hang. The next thing, sometimes they dilate your eyes. And that kind of. I've never had that done. Yeah, they put drops. They put numbing drops in your eyes first, which of i've never had that done um yeah they put drops they put

numbing drops in your eyes first which hurt a lot which seems funny yeah i guess the dilating drops like hurt extra bad and so they want to save you from that but then they put in the dilating drops and then your eyes open up like the the the pupils dilate so huge that you look like you're like an oracle like mid hallucinogenic like prophecy or something like that uh and then you know they do the test and then you get the super super rad like folding black plastic neo-futuristic like sunglasses uh and those always look so cool i wish i was better about just holding on to those so if i go out on like a night on the town, I can wear them like I'm in fucking craft work or something.

And then of course the best thing is you get new glasses, baby. Yeah, I know that you like that part. Depending on who the sponsors of our shows are at any given time, I usually only have one pair of glasses at a time. So when i make that choice it is i agonize over it i don't agonize over it i enjoy it a great deal i just spend a lot of time at the optometrist because mine sells pretty good collection of glasses or go to the you know glasses i don't know if this happened to you this time but the last time i went

there was a woman there who was almost like a consultant like she followed me around and she's like oh those look really good oh you know what we should try we should try this and i felt like i had my own little personal shopper you know and i was just like wow okay um what about these woman whose name i don't know yeah it's fun i like that i i usually get mine at the optometrist but i I did go to a shop here in Austin once. And I was followed around by an older woman who was just like, no, no, no, try these. And I was like, whoa, I've never had this sort of treatment before. But those were my Randy Jackson glasses that I got.

Oh, my gosh. What a time capsule. What a time i wore randy jackson branded glasses for a long time they were great they were fucking excellent yeah um so like from a corrective standpoint i cannot get over putting on a new pair of glasses especially when there's like a jump in my prescription and then i can see through time and space yeah that is cool it's really cool it like i can't it boggles my mind for like weeks especially if they get a little bit dirty and then i clean them and i'm like oh shit that's right i'm superman now um i really really like that they say you're supposed to ease into it like not wear them all the time because they'll

give you a headache but i can't once i pop i just can't stop wearing those beauties but it's mostly the style like choosing a new style that is so thrilling because it is such a, it's on your fucking face. Like it's a huge part of your aesthetic. And since I only usually have one pair of glasses at a time, it's like a permanent, like, hey, this is what you got for the next year, maybe if you're being good about going to the optometrist. I think you and I though like we subscribe

to having one pair of glasses when we really don't actually have to live that way that's true that's true yeah I could I could uh I could prove it up yeah get a bunch of a bunch of bold a bunch of bold stuff yeah um but I know you're not like a like a peacock necessarily when it comes to your face yeah I'm not like a hype beast for glasses as fun as that would be i could live that life if i wanted to but um i don't color coordinate my shit nearly enough to make that make sense um so like i don't know i just got a new pair of glasses i really like them i keep like catching glimpses of myself in the mirror and i'm like oh that's right i look different now yeah great these are cool uh so you know small pleasures but it's something that's

something that i really look forward to yeah i mean i talk a lot about your pretty eyes uh but i feel like these glasses these are frames like for the art of my eyes is that why they're called frames that is why they're called frames wow That is why they're called frames. Wow. Yeah. Man, the world is crazy. I know, right? Thank you to Moen and Augustus for the use of our theme song, Money Won't Pay. You can find a link to that in the episode description. And thanks to Maximum Fun for having us on the network.

You can check out all their shows at MaximumFun.org. And hey, guess what? Tomorrow uh is american thanksgiving and that there's a new episode of till death do us blart the uh infinite podcast that i do with my brothers and my new zealand brothers uh tim and guy from the worst idea of all time uh and we do one episode a year on thanksgiving where we do discuss our recent viewing of Paul Blart Mall Cop 2. Yeah, I'm so excited. Here's a question I have as a listener of that podcast.

Do any of you review previous episodes before you... I don't. Okay. I'm a very busy man. I'm just curious because I have to imagine you are making the same joke a lot of times and not realizing it and or noticing the same things over and over again i like to think we get a new angle on it every year my angle this year was in the midst of a pretty serious depressive episode

at the end of the my view was not great and at the end of the podcast Tim is like hey Griffin are you doing okay so there's a little sneak preview for how I approached the film yeah it was a good time it was a fun time

for friends and yeah I think that's it yeah I think that's about it thank you all for listening thank you for

sharing your life with us okay thank you for being there thank you for being there. Thank you for signing up for a Jumbotron

that has now closed. Yeah. But hopefully we'll be reading your message on the air. Yeah. Very soon, Jennifer. Jennifer and Derek.

And Lawrence. And a second different Lawrence. Another Lawrence. Oh, we did not forget about you, Damiel. Damiel? Yeah.

That's a tough one. It's like Dan-iel and Samuel kind of like ran at each other really fast and smashed and traded parts of names. You know, Damiel. Uh-huh. You know, damn you all. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported. Do you sometimes wonder whatever happened to the kids at your school who really loved Star Trek? You might remember a kid like me.

The one who read the Star Trek novels and built Starship models. I also took music classes to avoid taking gym classes that required showering after. But I don't see what that really has to do with... Or a kid like me. I introduced myself to kids at my summer camp one year as Wesley, but when the school year started and some of those kids were in my new class, I actually had to explain to my friends that I had tried to take on the identity of my favorite Star Trek character. The shame haunts me to this day. I'm sure some of those Star Trek fans from your childhood grew up to have

interesting and productive lives, but we ended up being podcasters. On The Greatest Discovery, you'll hear what happens to two lifelong Star Trek fans who didn't grow up to be great people, they just grew up to be people who love jokes as much as they love Trek. Season 4 of Star Trek Discovery

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