Wonderful! - Wonderful! 213: Dairy-Free Samwise Gamgee

Episode Date: January 19, 2022

Griffin’s favorite guiding light! Rachel’s favorite stylized snack!Music: “Money Won’t Pay” by bo en and Augustus – https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoyaCenter for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/ MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

🎵 What? What? Are you ready? Yeah. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hi, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is wonderful.

You caught my wife laughing at me. He had to do his gargoyle perch for us to begin. What does that mean? It's when you kind of tuck your feet up in the chair. Yeah. And so you are perched in a way. I'm sort of like a butterfly yoga position, wouldn't you say? Just real spread.

Yeah. Real spread. We're not sharing chairs do you know what i mean like i think it's okay to to do what they call manspreading if i'm just like over here living my life it's just you've chosen a pose that is impossible to sustain for the duration of the podcast fucking watch me i think you're upset because you're a little too tempted well you have your hand on the desk to kind of steady yourself i don't need that well the problem is that there are our house is slightly tilted and so if i don't hold on to the desk i will just

constantly rotate okay very slowly almost imperceptibly but i want to stay looking at you my wife and continuing to show you my goodies give me small wonders uh if i haven't recommended it already i wanted to recommend the show yellow jackets oh the entire first season is now complete yeah and available to you uh we do not actually have any kind of showtime app but we do have cable and we have on demand and it is on demand and in demand by me i loved it yes is it? Is the first season done? First season's done. Okay. So now I should watch it? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's like nine or ten episodes. Ugh. So much. And it's particularly

interesting to me because it has two periods of time. One is the present day and one is 1996. Oh, great year. And they choose a lot of music and clothing and culturally relevant references for that year which is memorable to me. Was 96 in contention for our Best Year Live Show Award?

I guess I can look at the – no, it doesn't say. 1998 was, though. Okay. All right. Yeah, 96, I believe, was my freshman year of high school. So, like, a lot of this was very important to me. Yeah, of course. And even if it's not a relevant year

to you perhaps it's the year you were born perhaps it's before you were born either way a plus television show i'm gonna say wordle but i was thinking about doing a big segment on wordle but like i feel like everybody knows what it is now uh and everybody knows like i don't i don't know if you know about this but like the the guy who made it made it for had to have something him and his wife could like share and play that's sweet i didn't know that yeah but and like he's not into the idea of like commercializing it in any way uh which made people really get angry when people started to just clone the idea and sell it on the app store like people

feel very protective of wordle but i play it every day and i'm on a i'm on a i've never lost the game but i'm on a bad i'm on a bad like fifth or sixth round streak right now that i just cannot get out of i'm surprised you've never lost i have definitely lost part of it is because i don't want to play it for very long there's no time limit yeah but i always feel this urgency of like, if I'm going to sit down and do it, I'm going to do it in one sitting. And so I get kind of lazy and I'll like know a letter isn't in the word, but I will still use that letter again. I know. Cause I like want, I want to be like, get a little bit closer, but it's totally wasting a turn. We made dad play it for the first time today while we were recording Taz.

And he guessed some word that had an E in it and it wasn't in there. I think it was like heard was the first word he guessed. And then for the subsequent three guesses, he kept putting E in it. And I kept saying like, no, stop it. E is not in the word. I know. Although today's, have you done today?

You did, you sent me a text. Today's was fucking devious. Yeah, I will say i got the last letter right away which helped inform my guesses a lot of people struggled with this one but once i got the last letter it helped me a bunch well it had an x and a y in it i don't know if our editor rachel might have not done wordle today so let's not ruin it because by the time time the episode comes out, it'll be a different word. I guess Y a lot, because a lot of times, for whatever reason, I can't think of a full five-letter word, and so I'll just add Y to the end. Fascinating. Cool.

Hey, can I tell you my big thing? My big thing is Polaris. Oh. Yeah, and I don't mean the band that did the Pete and Pete theme song. Okay, because I think we've talked about that Pete and Pete band before. Have we? Maybe. I don't mean the band that did the pete and pete theme song okay because i think we've talked about that pete and pete band before uh have we maybe i don't know feels like it uh that theme song so i probably could do a segment on polaris the the band uh because i had one of their albums like the one that that that the so smile i'm strange that whole song was on yeah uh

anyway so uh one time uh maybe a month ago well it was before christmas me and henry went out on the the back deck and i told him about like wishing on a star which is a concept he was familiar with and very quickly was able to be like okay that's the north star right there and so we did it uh and since then he has made us do what he calls Star Wish every night. It's so wholesome and adorable. It's very wholesome because it's so cold. He doesn't want to like get dressed up just to go out on the back deck. So he'll make us wrap him up in a blanket and like fireman carry him outside so he can really quickly knock out a Star Wish and come back inside. It's sweet.

I also think he thinks it's like a superpower that he can use to conjure like physical items in his in well because in his mind it worked for christmas right he did get a gift from santa claus that he did wish for and we set a terrible precedent with that because now for the past couple weeks he's wished that tomorrow he would wake up and there would be 300 easter eggs inside his house that he has to find. And I've told him, and I don't want to deflate him, but that like, you can't travel through time by wishing on a star. It's not that, it's more like the secret where you're like sort of setting your intention and just trying to guide, have the universe guide you towards that. You can't have it be like,

I wish tomorrow was March 29th or whatever day Christmas is. I mean, although that is kind of how the plot of 13 going on 30 happens. Yeah, but that's a film. Yeah, true. That's not real life. Anyway, I just think it's pretty dope that there's a star we always know how to find because it's in the same spot. More broadly speaking, I guess it's pretty dope that there's a star that everybody can navigate by, you know, throughout most of history. Is this another name for the North Star?

Polaris? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Well, and here's the thing. And this is, I'm going to get into this a little bit later. Polaris means polar star, right? Which literally means like this is the star over what is called the celestial pole, which is just like draw a line straight up from the center of the – from the north pole of planet Earth and that's the celestial pole. But it's almost perfectly above the north pole.

It's not quite. It's like two-thirds of a degree offset. So the north star actually makes like very tiny, almost imperceptible circles in the sky if you were able to kind of follow it for nine hours or whatever, as long as it's dark outside. And that offset changes throughout history. It has not always been the North Star. the north star uh it's only been sort of registered as that since like uh fifth century like late antiquity is when uh astronomers started to like kind of say like oh okay there's because even before that uh the idea of the celestial pole existed around the you know that that bc bce changeover but it was described as like having no stars, that it was void up in space.

And, but, you know, around the fifth century, and then especially as we get into like the Middle Ages, like around 1000 CE, it started to be recognized as, hey, it's always up there and you can navigate by it. So, you know, since then, transcontinental voyages used it, you know, with a certain degree of like calculation to figure out because it's not perfectly above. If you used it exclusively, you would end up missing the mark of wherever it was that you're trying to sail to. It's just been a navigational aid ever since then. But it's very fascinating to me that it's not Polaris will not always be the North Star. fascinating to me that it's not polaris will not always be the north star uh it's estimated by around the 41st century a different star will be up there polaris will have changed and a different

star will be closer to the celestial pole than than polaris is right now that's crazy and also like one heck of a run though it's a heck of a he's done a great job, Blair. That's a big term in office. A fun fact in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, Julius Caesar has a line where he says he's as constant as the northern star. But Caesar reigned around like, you know, 50 BCE when there was no constant northern star. So like that is a reflection of how it changes man so many levels every time yeah but i mean a plot hole there good going dude or maybe it was

intentional shakespeare is incredible well by that point there was a northern star when shakespeare wrote the play he just like forgot that there wasn't one back you know what i mean shakespeare wrote julius caesar in like 1500 something uh- something when there was a northern star called Polaris. But there wasn't one in 50 BC when Julius Caesar actually reigned. So it's a fuck up. You say it as an inconsistency. It's an inconsistency. It's a plow hole.

Nice try, Shakespeare. This is the part that really blew my mind today when I learned it. North star, easy to find, right? Because it's so wicked bright. That's because Polaris is actually what's called a ternary system, which means it's a cluster of three stars that appear as one from our perspective. There's Polaris A, which is this huge yellow supernova that has six times the mass of our sun and is also 2,500 times brighter than our sun. Of course, our sun looks pretty fucking bright to us because it's wicked close.

You know, it's like 150 miles or something like that, probably more. It has another star, though, that orbits it 2 billion miles from Polaris A, which is the big yellow supernova. But, you know, it's 430 some odd light years away. So two billion miles is nothing. So they appear right next to each other. It's as hot as Polaris A is, but doesn't give off nearly the amount of luminosity. And then, what is it? 240 billion miles from Polaris A is what's called Polaris B, which is about the same size as Polaris AB, but it's a little bit further away. I mean, it's 238 billion more miles away than Polaris AB. So all these three stars, when you see them from Earth, up here is just one star. That's incredible.

I didn't know stars could orbit stars. Sure they can. I mean, they all have mass and gravity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, there are binary star systems, which are just two stars that have a similar amount of gravity that just spin around each other. Oh, man. Do a beautiful dance in the cosmos. Yeah. Polaris A, it's several thousand times magnitude brighter than our sun and six times heavier,

but it is only, you know, this whole ternary star system is only the 50th brightest star in our sky. But it's bright enough, right? Because you can see it no matter where you are in the sky. I'm so poetically inspired right now. It's unbelievable. It's incredible. I mean, mean it's there's like so much like metaphoric potential in everything you just said yeah it's it is simultaneously like this remarkable thing that is true about our universe right yeah uh and simultaneously there is you you have to bear in mind that it's not always going to be this, like, incredible, like, anchor for the northern sky. Like, that is going to change over the next, you know, couple millennia.

And that's fucking rad also. That's also cool. Oh, man. Yeah, I just find it, I find, I find that very interesting. Oh, man. star will be over the celestial pole oh man isn't that cool yeah it's super cool anyway i just thought that was neat i also like that we go out there and make star wishes and it's always we have a pole holding up a shade sail over our back deck and it's always right above it's the pole star there too because it's above the pole that holds up our shade sale every night, and I can always find it, and that's really sick. So Polaris, they're doing a great job up there.

Good job, Polaris. Keep it up. Can I steal your white? Yes. Got a couple Grandpa Johns here, A couple grandpas named John. And there's some messages. And I would love to read them, can I? Yes. This one's for Kathleen and Lauren. It's from Caitlin, who says,

Howdy, besties. I'm so thankful to have y'all as such wonderful friends. We're living our big kid adult lives now, but I will forever cherish and make fun of our years in Seastat. Thank you all so much for introducing me to Mackle content and the endless laughs. Can't wait for Disney round two, question mark. And remember to hump it, gig them, and saw them off. Go Aggies.

Oh, these are Texas folks. Is that what those things mean? Texas A&M. Okay. Aggies. Yeah. Gig them? What's that mean?

That's just a thing they say. All right. I don't really know why. It's fun that your school has fun things to say that's not words. I love that. Can I read the next one? Oh, yes. This is for my Sammy lady baby, and it is from Chaboy Matthew. Do you like how I said Chaboy? I did. It sounded very authentic. Hello, my Sammy lady baby. I'm probably asleep, so here's a message from 2021 Matthew. Thank you for being my amazing wife, my best friend, and a wonderful mama to Chieverson. I love our little family so much. Every day with you is the best day ever.

But maybe this is a sign for when it's time to add a skinny, nerdy, big-eyed little you and me to our family. What do you think? That's good. And what I love the most about what Chaboy Matthew has done here is there's a lot of use of the letter U to represent the word you, like getting efficient with the use of character limits. And a lot of deleted spaces between words. Yes. Which I was able to navigate seamlessly. Now, this also could be a puzzle. Like some sort of thing that we could work out.

Like, oh, all these letters are missing. And when you put them together, it spells the Da Vinci Code. It spells the Da Vinci Code. Which then means that you go read the Da Vinci Code. It spells the Da Vinci Code. Which then means that you go read the Da Vinci Code and you look for the spaces that aren't there and the spaces that are. Ah, and that's how you found out that Jesus had a son named Jesus Jr.

I'm pretty sure that's what the Da Vinci Code's about. I don't know. I've never read it or seen it. That's okay. I'm John Moe. My show, Depresh Mode, is all about mental health. And this week, I talked with Amanda Knox. She spent four years in an Italian prison for a murder she didn't commit. That's a lot of trauma, and she's okay talking about it. If I touch on something that you'd rather not get into, just say so. We'll cut the whole exchange out. But it also seems like you're pretty open about a lot of

things. Yeah, yeah. I am having trouble imagining anything that you could talk to me about. I know. What are we going to throw Amanda Knox with? Depressed Mode with Jon Moe, only on Maximum Fun. with Jon Mo, only on Maximum Fun. For over a decade, MaxFunCon has been an incredible weekend of learning, connecting, and laughing with folks in the MaxFun community. And, if all goes according to plan, the last regularly scheduled MaxFunCon will take place in Lake Arrowhead from June 3rd to June 5th, 2022. We have a very limited number of tickets remaining.

To make them available to the maximum number of people, we'll be opening our waitlist for tickets on January 23rd at 5 p.m. Pacific. That'll be your chance to be first in line to purchase tickets, and we'll go down the waitlist until we're at capacity. More details at maxfuncon.com. And mark your calendars for Sunday, January 23rd

at 5 p.m. Pacific. What do you got for me? My wonderful thing this week is something that is called the cheese pull. I am so excited for this. Because this is a topic of fascination, not necessarily just the cheese pole, but I guess what the cheese pole represents. And I'm very excited for you to do a deep dive in on it. So y'all know I've been living dairy-free since our little son was born, and i have found a lot of great substitutes for dairy um there is great dairy

free ice cream and yogurt a lot of it is nut based like cashew or almond just any kind of like fatty nut out there you can turn into a fake cheese sure um i have been using some fake mozzarella cheese uh and a lot of times it it advertises its bubbly stretchy qualities similar to cheese but it it cannot deliver this is false uh some of it tastes a lot like cheese but then also it turns into the fucking mood slime from ghostbusters too you know a lot of times so i buy it in like shredded form so that it looks like cheese but a lot of times people just sell the liquid like you can just buy it out the middle yeah because ultimately like that's that's what it's gonna do room temperature it

becomes so nothing makes me miss real cheese more than a commercial with a good cheese pull yeah do you want to describe maybe what a cheese pull is? Yeah. So there is a 2016 Quartz article that describes it as a stylized shot of perfectly congealed cheese strands that stretch seductively from a slice of pizza as it's lifted from the pie. Oh, seductively is the best adjective or adverb for that action.

Yeah, it is. It is a technique in advertising that is used to communicate with a part of our brain that is not verbal, kind of a primal core. It doesn't understand words, but responds with hunger. It is a really effective way to get people interested in your food item with like out a lot of work or words or i mean it's a lot of work to trick people into thinking that this is what their pizza cheese is going to look like when they buy the product. It is Sutterfuge at the end of the day. It's lying about cheese. Well, what's the lie?

That your cheese is going to do a perfect cheese pull every time you eat the cheese on the pizza. I don't think that is my expectation. I think when I see the cheese pull, I think like, oh man, I love cheese. I don't think like, I can't wait to get this food item so it will do that. I do think that.

You do think that. I think it's normal to think that. If you advertise a product on television, and again, deeply fascinated in this topic and not actually at all mad about it, but by the principle of the thing, if I see a cheese pull on my Domino's pizza, I better get a cheese pull when I buy the Domino's pizza and bring it home to

my kids. I will say there, there have been issues with the cheese pull. Um, there, there is a whole Taco Bell segment that I'm going to get to a little bit later. Yes.

And I'm going to stop talking then. Uh, so the cheese pull, um, there is an assistant professor of marketing in this Quartz article that talks about how it can trigger deep-seated memories of food experiences. Food is what we call a primary reinforcer. We recognize the value of food items even when we can't touch them or feel them in person. Okay. So it's just kind of like seeing the food is enough to set off a lot in your body, which is kind of remarkable if you think about it. Sure.

You know, and just kind of the emotional attachment to that. It can set off a release of chemicals akin to those involved in drug addiction. As many of us know, pizza can be an addictive food. So the cheese pull in an ad can set off a craving simply by showing you the cheese pull, the cheese pull seductively. So I sent you a link to a Domino's pizza video that documents how the cheese pull has been created. Even the concept of a Domino's pizza video. This is a video that Domino's Pizza made about their pizza. It's actually a video of them exposing their own fraud,

but that's cool too. Yeah, so in this video, and this is not saying that this is how it is done all the time. This is just one example. And they show like 20 lights, 50 C stands, 150 people, including pizza chefs and hand models to create this cheese pole in which the pizza is actually drilled to the table. Yeah. So that when the piece of pizza is lifted, it does not pull the rest of the pizza with it of course

that's basic physics you've got to drill your pizza there's also a lot of discussion with the hand model who talks a lot about how she is able to achieve this kind of perfect pull is that who the woman is that there's oh my god yeah she she is so invested in her work. It's like watching Daniel Day-Lewis talking about pulling a piece of pizza away from other pizza. Yeah, she talks a lot about the technique and then the noise that she makes personally to kind of get the timing right with the pull. I would really recommend a watch of this video. with the pull uh i would really recommend a watch of this video um the pizza chef in the video also talks about how if we're lucky we get one shot an hour because of just the the precision they want with this so it is a real pizza it's just kind of the way that they get it together is a little devious the video the video ends with that pizza though, like taking a Domino's pizza out of the oven

and saying like, but it's fine just like this. I know. Then shoot it, like show me a commercial where you pull it and if you're lucky, maybe one strand of cheese gets pulled away from it. Don't, this, it's all. See, you said that you're not angry about this, but you sound a little angry.

This is honestly pretty innocent. I have watched videos about food photography before. Yeah, yeah. Because it's a it's an it's honestly like a very impressive discipline but it involves like a lot of the time and i expected this from the video i'm surprised that this was not the case uh to to achieve the cheese pull they will just like use glue yeah so this is this is interesting this came up a lot of people had assumed there was glue involved. And then a lot of restaurant chains had to come out and say, like, no, we don't.

Pizza Hut said, no, we don't use glue. Papa John's said something very specific, which I think is interesting. They said the pizzas Papa John's uses on set are 100 edible well so i mean technically glue is edible yeah sure um but but more often than not what is happening is that kind of when the pizza comes out of the oven there is additional cheese added uh and then they use a heat gun to really make sure that effect happens when the slice is pulled out. See, I would still eat that. Well, I would eat around the screws, but I would still eat that pizza.

So per, this is an article from Delish where I found this. Per the FTC, there is no specific rule saying advertisers can't add inedible products. But in the 1960s, the FTC sued Campbell's Soup for adding marbles to a soup bowl to make the soup seem chunkier. That's a thing. I have heard of that. So, wait, people can't use marbles like that anymore? I think what it was is that the slogan of Campbell's used to be that the soup was so chunky you could eat it with a fork. And then adding the marbles was a way to kind of misrepresent it.

So it wasn't like you can't use marbles. It's like if you're going to make this claim, you can't fake it. The one that blows me away is whenever there's like cooked meat, especially in like a fast food commercial, what they do is they make a mixture of water and shoe polish and then brush it over the meat to give it like a dark and glistening sort of aesthetic that makes it seem more like a nice, juicy, dark burger. it seemed more like a nice, juicy, dark burger. That's the stuff. People like using whipped up adhesive material to be whipped cream because it like speaks so much better. Well, yeah. And I'd heard glue with cereal

because the milk will make the cereal soggy and so they would use glue. Yeah. Okay, so Taco Bell. Uh-oh. So Taco Bell gets in the cheese pole game with the quesalupa. Oh, God, the quesalupa. I thought you might have a connection to quesalupa.

Any Taco Bell food experience was so dope. Was that the one where it was a chalupa, but there was an extra tortilla wrapped around it that was stuffed with cheese? I guess so. I didn't actually get into what this item was i never had it i believe that's what it was so the quesalupa premiered um in a 36 store test in toledo and then um there was a 30 second tv spot during the super bowl uh that claimed the uh quesalupa would be, quote, bigger than man buns, drones,

aliens, and James Harden's beard, among other things. The commercial airing during the Super Bowl costs an estimated $5 million to broadcast. And it was all about the cheese pull with the quesalupa. How much did it cost to make the cheese pull happen, though? That's what I want to know. Oh, yeah. I don't know. Like a fucking Weta workshop in there?

You got James Cameron working on cheese pull technology? So I found a Bloomberg article from 2016 that talks about a tweet somebody did, which said, Dear Taco Bell, why can't the quesalupa be as cheesy as your commercials? Sincerely, a customer who would marry cheese. salupa be as cheesy as your commercials sincerely a customer who would marry cheese uh this tweet popped up on a wall with a dozen tv screens that employees monitor in the quote fish bowl at taco bell headquarters in irvine california that's horrific i didn't know taco bell had a fucking panopticon that they use to watch our every activity and hear everything we ever say about their product. I know, right?

So there's a 15-person newsroom team, and its job is to defend and protect what Taco Bell calls the cheese pole. This is in 2016. I imagine that they do other things, but their focus at that time was the quesalupa and the cheese pole. So that tweet is an example of kind of a series of feedback points that caused an email to the restaurants reminding staff not to overcook the tortilla or allow the shells to lie around too long after they've been fried.

Is that because it, it has a negative effect on the cheese pull? Yes. Okay. Yes. Uh, so yeah, there, there's a lot about lot about uh with the quesalupa uh if the shell isn't fried the proper 90 seconds or if it sits more than 15 minutes the cheese hardens and won't be melty enough oh my god for the pull the people who call refer to fast food work as like low skill labor are out of there out of their fucking the timing

involved in everything is so critical i mean the endurance required this is not a joke like the endurance required to do that and to like put up with a hundred people during a dinner rush all being shitheads and like yelling at you because the cheese pull wasn't like gushy enough is that's that's that's miserable the the the cheese pull the queso lupa the whole thing was kind of inspired by the stuffed crust pizza now that was that was some stretchy shit right there yeah it really was it really was uh so yeah so that's the cheese pull i um i want to eat a hot pizza worse than I've ever wanted to eat. I know. My mouth has been watering this entire time that we discuss this.

But you can't even scratch that itch. I know. I can't. You could probably pull a Daiya cheese. If you worked hard enough at it, you could probably get a Daiya pull. Yeah. I am relatively satisfied by the dairy alternatives that I have found. I think Dai is pretty good.

Yeah, it gets close enough for me that I can feel like, okay, that craving was addressed. But also on this journey that you've gone on, and I've tried to go with you like a dairy-free Samwise Gamgee, I've had some pretty gnar cheese. Some pretty gnar-fo cheese. Yeah. I have lately I've gotten into like a cashew queso which I feel like scratches my queso.

Cashew queso can do it. Yeah. But but yeah man the cheese pull it is a beautiful thing and it is used constantly. I think a lot of

people are moving away from it because it's so cliche but it is effective. i think a lot of people are moving away from it because it's so cliche but it is effective cliche for a reason man i want it i want to pull how long cheese pull do you want if i could pull it like into another room and it's still be tethered to the pizza in the kitchen and i could just kind of grab it in the middle of the strand and like eat my way back into the kitchen toward the pizza. That's the dream.

Anyway, thanks to Bowen and Augustus for the use of our theme song, Money Won't Pay. You can find a link to that in the episode description. And thank you to Maximo Fun for having us on the network. They got so many great shows

that you're going to just vibe with and vibe on, like The Flophouse. Yeah, or Judge John Hodgman. Judge John Hodgman. There's so many more. All at MaximumFun.org. We got merch over at McElroyMerch.com. Stuff you're just going to dig, man.

Stuff you're really going to crank. Is that the word you want to use? No. Is there anything else i guess i want to say thank you for thank you we don't say that enough do we as a people oh do you want to tell people about your guy fury thing yeah sure uh today i guess the day that this episode comes out on and every wednesday hopefully i played the legend of Zelda, a link to the past. Only I die in one hit and all the enemies and items are in the wrong places.

And I'm Guy Fieri and it's going very well so far. Genuinely. Can you say what it's called? It's called Trial by Fieri and you can find it on the McElroy family YouTube channel. For me, I don't even want to watch it because the name of it is so perfect that I'm satisfied by that alone. It can't live up to your expectation of

what it is in your mind. It's very fun. I'm doing surprisingly well at this impossible version of Link to the Past that I've created. I hope you'll join me on my journey. That's it, though, for real, though. And I know I wanted to say thank you before.

Yeah, let's say thank you again. But now I don't give a shit. Now I'm a bad boy. I turned into a bad boy in the last, like, 70 seconds. And that's how I can flip on you, isn't it? Yeah, it's tricky in a relationship, I think. Yeah. Because sometimes you come at me sweet like a kitten,

and I'm like, I go in for the hug, and then you just like step back, and I fall to the floor. I want to eat cheese so bad. Can we please stop? Yes. Money won't pay. Working on pay. Money won't pay.

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Workin' on pay Money won't pay MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.