Wonderful! - Wonderful! 354: Big Weird Tongue
Episode Date: December 11, 2024Rachel's favorite too-hot-for-TV bits! Griffin's favorite daily cozy ritual! Music: “Money Won’t Pay” by bo en and Augustus – https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoya Harmony Ho...use: https://harmonyhousewv.com/
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                                         [♪ Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! And Music Playing! This is Griffin McElroy. And this is wonderful. Thanks for listening to Wonderful. It's a show where we talk about things we like that's good that we're into.
                                         
                                         It's the reason for the season.
                                         
                                         And I'm not gonna be able to do this.
                                         
                                         I can't do this.
                                         
                                         I bit my tongue so bad the other day.
                                         
                                         You weren't even like eating anything.
                                         
                                         I wasn't. I was on the phone with an insurance company
                                         
                                         being angry with them.
                                         
    
                                         And I guess maybe just like in my rage
                                         
                                         sort of subconsciously, my teeth were like,
                                         
                                         let's go for it.
                                         
                                         My teeth got confused.
                                         
                                         They were like, what's in the mouth?
                                         
                                         It must be a sandwich or a ham.
                                         
                                         And it chomped right down.
                                         
                                         And now it makes me sound a little bit strange, I feel like.
                                         
    
                                         I'm used to my instrument, which I use, you know,
                                         
                                         several times a week to create my art.
                                         
                                         I'm used to it functioning a certain way.
                                         
                                         And it isn't this episode.
                                         
                                         So if you want to skip this one, listener, because of-
                                         
                                         Well, don't say that.
                                         
                                         No, I'm just wanna be honest. We haven't even started.
                                         
                                         Maybe if my big weird tongue in my mouth
                                         
    
                                         sounds too weird to you this week,
                                         
                                         I do not blame you. Can I tell you?
                                         
                                         I don't hear it.
                                         
                                         Well, you don't have a pair of monitor headphones
                                         
                                         Oh, okay.
                                         
                                         at the moment, yes.
                                         
                                         Okay, okay, well.
                                         
                                         So, do you have any small wonders though, I guess,
                                         
    
                                         before we get started with things?
                                         
                                         I made apple crumble.
                                         
                                         Rachel made an apple crumble.
                                         
                                         Period.
                                         
                                         Now that is a dish.
                                         
                                         You didn't take an apple and like freeze dry it
                                         
                                         and then crush it in your mighty hand.
                                         
                                         We went to Thanksgiving at a friend's house
                                         
    
                                         and we had to leave early
                                         
                                         because the boys wouldn't eat anything unsurprisingly.
                                         
                                         And she sent us home with desserts
                                         
                                         and she sent us home with a pecan pie that was amazing.
                                         
                                         Very good.
                                         
                                         And an apple crumble that was incredible.
                                         
                                         We didn't make anything this Thanksgiving.
                                         
                                         We ordered all the stuff from Whole Foods
                                         
    
                                         and we didn't get a pecan pie, which I usually make.
                                         
                                         And then our friend sent us home with a piece and we ate it.
                                         
                                         And then the next day I made two pecan pies
                                         
                                         because it was outrageous to have Thanksgiving without it.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I made an apple crumble yesterday.
                                         
                                         And I will say that the crumble part, it wasn't perfect.
                                         
                                         Hard to nail the crumble, isn't it?
                                         
                                         But the ingredients are really simple
                                         
    
                                         and it was delicious and continues to be
                                         
                                         because we still have more.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'm gonna say Blue's head coach, Jim Montgomery,
                                         
                                         the new guy.
                                         
                                         Monty, as they call him.
                                         
                                         Monty, as they call him.
                                         
                                         He was the Bruins coach, I guess, for a little while
                                         
                                         and then they got rid of him
                                         
    
                                         and we snatched him on up, snatched that Monty up.
                                         
                                         Yeah, like five days later.
                                         
                                         Like he was not even unemployed for a week
                                         
                                         before we jumped in there.
                                         
                                         If you don't follow the whole saga,
                                         
                                         Blues had a coach, Barube, for a long time.
                                         
                                         He won the Stanley Cup with him,
                                         
                                         and then he got fired last year, last season?
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, yeah, it was last season.
                                         
                                         And then was replaced by a sort of interim guy,
                                         
                                         and now this, Jim Montgomery is back.
                                         
                                         He was a, I guess, offensive coach for a while
                                         
                                         on the team for like three years.
                                         
                                         Yeah, he worked with Barube, apparently.
                                         
                                         I didn't remember him at all.
                                         
                                         I did not either, but he's back in the last,
                                         
    
                                         I guess, four games they've played with him as the coach.
                                         
                                         They've been shit hot, real good.
                                         
                                         All the players have been speaking very highly
                                         
                                         of him and his positive attitude
                                         
                                         and his communication style.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         And they've all been playing really hard,
                                         
                                         I think, to kind of, I don't know, make him happy.
                                         
    
                                         Make a good first and make him a happy man.
                                         
                                         He did an interview yesterday,
                                         
                                         so at the end of the last game they played,
                                         
                                         it was an overtime game goal from, I think, Holloway
                                         
                                         against the Calgary Flames.
                                         
                                         They had to go to review
                                         
                                         because it looked like goaltender interference.
                                         
                                         It was Braco, actually.
                                         
    
                                         Was it Colton Braco?
                                         
                                         Holy shit.
                                         
                                         And Jim Montgomery did an interview afterwards
                                         
                                         because they had to review the goal
                                         
                                         because Calgary was saying there was goaltender interference
                                         
                                         and there wasn't.
                                         
                                         And they were like, what did you think?
                                         
                                         Like what was going through your mind
                                         
    
                                         during the coach, during the review?
                                         
                                         And he was like, I was not out there.
                                         
                                         He was like, I was back in the room having a pizza,
                                         
                                         having a water, like laughing it up.
                                         
                                         It's a totally different vibe from any coach I've ever seen
                                         
                                         on any NHL team, but it's a good vibe.
                                         
                                         Yeah, unsurprisingly, the guy that came after Barube,
                                         
                                         Bannister, this was like his first, Drew Bannister,
                                         
    
                                         it was his first like real NHL coaching job.
                                         
                                         He did pretty good.
                                         
                                         He did good, but I have to imagine
                                         
                                         it was very stressful for him to like get called up
                                         
                                         and be like in the big leagues in a situation
                                         
                                         where the team was not doing well.
                                         
                                         But now we got Monty.
                                         
                                         And so I imagine he was very intense and serious
                                         
    
                                         and Jim Montgomery, he is a seasoned pro.
                                         
                                         Having fun.
                                         
                                         And he just seems to be enjoying himself.
                                         
                                         Yep.
                                         
                                         You go first this week.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         What do you got?
                                         
                                         Okay, so I wanted to do something light.
                                         
    
                                         Oh, good.
                                         
                                         We kind of had a stressful morning
                                         
                                         and I was trying to think like,
                                         
                                         what is something that makes me consistently laugh
                                         
                                         and or happy?
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         And it is two bits that were regularly featured
                                         
                                         on the Late Night with Conan O'Brien show.
                                         
    
                                         Oh shit.
                                         
                                         And I wanted to highlight them.
                                         
                                         You got two bits?
                                         
                                         Two bits, because one bit felt like
                                         
                                         it wasn't enough for a full topic.
                                         
                                         Sure, sure.
                                         
                                         Because I mean, if you think about like a sketch,
                                         
                                         it's only a few minutes long.
                                         
    
                                         Usually there's an origin story
                                         
                                         and then they just try a bunch of different stuff with it.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         So I found two that were recurring that I loved.
                                         
                                         I'm so excited.
                                         
                                         The first I wanted to talk about
                                         
                                         was the Walker Texas Ranger Lover.
                                         
                                         Holy shit, yeah.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         So Conan O'Brien, Late Night with Conan O'Brien,
                                         
                                         he obviously, it's like a late night talk show host,
                                         
                                         celebrities, musical guests,
                                         
                                         but Conan O'Brien's background
                                         
                                         was in improvisation and sketch.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         He'd worked at Saturday Night Live,
                                         
    
                                         he worked for the Simpsons,
                                         
                                         he actually took improv classes.
                                         
                                         And so one of the sketches he did
                                         
                                         was this actual physical lever at his desk
                                         
                                         that he could pull at any time during the show
                                         
                                         and a Walker Texas Ranger clip would be played.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         The whole thing started in 2004,
                                         
    
                                         NBC merged with Universal,
                                         
                                         and so Conan informed the viewers that now,
                                         
                                         because Chuck Norris was owned by NBC.
                                         
                                         Well, not Chuck Norris.
                                         
                                         Yeah, sorry.
                                         
                                         Chuck Norris isn't owned by.
                                         
                                         He can't be owned by anyone.
                                         
                                         Anyway, now they had access to all of these clips.
                                         
    
                                         And so he would show periodically clips from the show.
                                         
                                         It's so good.
                                         
                                         And it's so ahead of its time.
                                         
                                         There was such a long period where like
                                         
                                         internet shorthand humor was just like
                                         
                                         referencing the existence of Chuck Norris
                                         
                                         or like the boogeyman is afraid of Chuck Norris.
                                         
                                         Like that was the height of internet humor
                                         
    
                                         was just talking about how powerful Chuck Norris was.
                                         
                                         That is true, yeah, but I feel like, yeah, you're right.
                                         
                                         That didn't really happen until the late 90s.
                                         
                                         This was well before that and hit so good.
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah, so the whole kind of premise was that
                                         
                                         it would either exist like after the monologue
                                         
                                         and before the guests came out
                                         
                                         or if the show was like dragging.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, man.
                                         
                                         And or if he would always say like,
                                         
                                         oh, we have a packed show, we don't really have any time.
                                         
                                         My producers are really urging me to move it along.
                                         
                                         And then he get this look of glee
                                         
                                         on his face, and he would like pull the lever.
                                         
                                         And it would always be a very serious, dramatic clip.
                                         
                                         Like somebody getting seriously injured,
                                         
    
                                         somebody speaking to some sort of serious illness they had,
                                         
                                         like some kind of crazy act of violence,
                                         
                                         and then it would cut back to Conan reacting to it.
                                         
                                         Really, really, really good stuff.
                                         
                                         I was curious. Truly inspiration,
                                         
                                         genuinely very inspirational.
                                         
                                         Yeah. I feel like for the type of,
                                         
                                         I don't know, humor we shoot for.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, possible motivation for the energy dragon, right?
                                         
                                         Absolutely, a huge inspiration for the energy dragon.
                                         
                                         On Griffin's streaming show every week.
                                         
                                         Oh, it's my streaming show.
                                         
                                         Mm-hmm.
                                         
                                         Mm-hmm.
                                         
                                         Griffin's family streaming show. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Griffin's family streaming show.
                                         
                                         Your family also, yes.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         They do lots of segments that are kind of absurdist.
                                         
                                         And that's the thing about Conan O'Brien
                                         
                                         that people loved and continue to love so much
                                         
                                         is that he really likes to be unpredictable.
                                         
                                         He really likes to figure out what is like
                                         
                                         the most inappropriate or like strangest thing
                                         
    
                                         I could do right now.
                                         
                                         And like, I don't know, the late night landscape
                                         
                                         is obviously so different now
                                         
                                         and Conan's not really a part of it.
                                         
                                         It used to be so hemmed up.
                                         
                                         It used to be so straight-laced.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         You could say, Letterman did great,
                                         
    
                                         and Leno was also there.
                                         
                                         But the stuff Conan was doing was so wildly different
                                         
                                         from the usual Carson, like,
                                         
                                         all right, let's get this guy out here.
                                         
                                         Tell me what you're thinking. Yeah, the whole format
                                         
                                         of coming out in a suit on a big, well-lit stage with a band,
                                         
                                         like it felt very old-timey.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         And I think Conan O'Brien was never gonna do a show like that.
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         So I was curious kind of what happened with that.
                                         
                                         And-
                                         
                                         With the Walker lever?
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         So I found some information about it.
                                         
                                         There was an interview with Mike Sweeney, who was a writer.
                                         
    
                                         And he said, all anyone's saying to me everywhere I go
                                         
                                         is you've got to keep doing more.
                                         
                                         We need more walker clips.
                                         
                                         It was an endless supply.
                                         
                                         They went down and found more great clips
                                         
                                         and we ended up doing it again for another two months.
                                         
                                         Then we stopped.
                                         
                                         The same thing happened again nine months later.
                                         
    
                                         Fans on the street were like, come on, show more clips.
                                         
                                         But Conan eventually had to stop
                                         
                                         and he said publicly, I love that bit.
                                         
                                         It was one of my favorite things to do
                                         
                                         and we had to stop doing it.
                                         
                                         He said this on his podcast,
                                         
                                         the actors who were in the clips,
                                         
                                         they started to recognize
                                         
    
                                         that we were showing these clips of them
                                         
                                         and they started to demand the money
                                         
                                         that you need to pay them in residuals.
                                         
                                         Oh yeah.
                                         
                                         His producer told him like,
                                         
                                         we can't keep doing this anymore,
                                         
                                         it's gonna become very expensive for us.
                                         
                                         And Conan on his podcast said that he protested that.
                                         
    
                                         He said he wanted to go to trial.
                                         
                                         He said he wanted to show the clips to the jury
                                         
                                         and say, ladies and gentlemen, this is not acting.
                                         
                                         Apparently, I don't remember this,
                                         
                                         but there were also two other short-lived segments.
                                         
                                         There was a Knight Rider pole chain.
                                         
                                         I don't remember that at all.
                                         
                                         Beverly Hills cop theme button.
                                         
    
                                         That's good.
                                         
                                         That would play the Beverly Hills cop theme.
                                         
                                         So the other one I wanted to talk about is of course,
                                         
                                         the masturbating bear.
                                         
                                         I thought, I was thinking like, is it gonna be in the year 2000? Is it gonna be triumph?
                                         
                                         Is it gonna be?
                                         
                                         But yeah, no, I mean, yeah, it's so off brand for me.
                                         
                                         I recognize that.
                                         
    
                                         It's outrageous that it was allowed, uh, because it is, it is graphic in a way
                                         
                                         that is tough to, tough to deal with, tough to stomach.
                                         
                                         Certainly on other, on the tonight show, they weren't having bears masturbate.
                                         
                                         Um, you have to describe what the masturbating.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Um, so they're actually, there's this great interview
                                         
                                         from Cracked in 2022 from Michael Gordon.
                                         
                                         And the title is, I was the masturbating bear
                                         
    
                                         on late night with Conan O'Brien.
                                         
                                         So writer Brian Reich came up with the bear.
                                         
                                         He worked on late night from 1994 to 1999.
                                         
                                         They used to do a bit called pleasing the affiliates
                                         
                                         where they would make believe that NBC affiliates
                                         
                                         had all these problems with the show
                                         
                                         and they would do different things to pander to them.
                                         
                                         Back in 1997, Brian made up a bit
                                         
    
                                         where one of our affiliates in Alabama
                                         
                                         was complaining about how so many of our characters
                                         
                                         were naked.
                                         
                                         And so we brought out this parade of characters
                                         
                                         like a aunt, a skunk,
                                         
                                         they were all gonna wear cod pieces now.
                                         
                                         And at the end of the parade, there was a bear.
                                         
                                         Sorry, I had to look up a clip of the masturbating bear
                                         
    
                                         just to remember.
                                         
                                         It's the teasing that is so hysterically funny. Sorry, go on.
                                         
                                         And so Conan announced, and finally our popular character,
                                         
                                         the masturbating bear will not only wear a diaper,
                                         
                                         but he will be shackled.
                                         
                                         And then at that point, the bear broke free of the shackles.
                                         
                                         the bear broke free of the shackles. And started masturbating,
                                         
                                         which for those of you that haven't seen it,
                                         
    
                                         was just kind of him hitting the diaper
                                         
                                         and shaking the diaper over and over again.
                                         
                                         The diaper was stuffed full,
                                         
                                         giving it a sort of pendulous effect on the front.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it seemed like there were sand in it, literally.
                                         
                                         Like it would hang.
                                         
                                         And then he just kind of reaches down with one paw
                                         
                                         and just kind of like hits the diaper over and over again
                                         
    
                                         very, very quickly.
                                         
                                         The writer says, the fun part of this was that
                                         
                                         we didn't have a character named the Masturbating Bear.
                                         
                                         Brian just made that up.
                                         
                                         He created this universe where it was already a character,
                                         
                                         which it wasn't.
                                         
                                         And then the writer goes on to talk about
                                         
                                         a bunch of different skits that he did.
                                         
    
                                         But each time he would come out on stage, he'd be in shackles, he'd have two handlers
                                         
                                         that would have prods kind of prepared to zap him should he start again. There's a great
                                         
                                         description of all the clips, but we don't really have time to go into it.
                                         
                                         I will say when Conan moved to The Tonight Show, they stopped doing it entirely. Because it was
                                         
                                         earlier in the evening. The network was never a big fan of this bit. But I guess when he went to TBS,
                                         
                                         when he went to TBS, they did a few callbacks to it.
                                         
                                         And then in 2014, Stephen Colbert showed actual zoo footage of a real bear masturbating.
                                         
                                         Not as funny, I bet.
                                         
    
                                         But he tweeted, tune in tonight
                                         
                                         when I become the first late night host
                                         
                                         to show a clip of a masturbating bear.
                                         
                                         The next day, Conan brought it up
                                         
                                         and said that what Stephen Colbert didn't know was
                                         
                                         that the masturbating bear was dying.
                                         
                                         They then cut to the bear in a hospital bed where he was in a coma.
                                         
                                         It seemed as though he was going to die any second, but there was a TV monitor with Colbert's
                                         
    
                                         footage on it, which they kept cutting back and forth to.
                                         
                                         The bear then came out of the coma and started masturbating.
                                         
                                         Amazing.
                                         
                                         I would really, if you need some time to enjoy yourself,
                                         
                                         and if you are not at work, let's say.
                                         
                                         There is nothing erotic about it.
                                         
                                         That's what I think.
                                         
                                         And also Conan's response was always like appropriately,
                                         
    
                                         like shocked and bewildered.
                                         
                                         I am not somebody that typically likes gross
                                         
                                         or lewd comedy all that much,
                                         
                                         but there was something about this
                                         
                                         that just felt so ridiculous.
                                         
                                         The bear's face, the mask is pretty anatomically,
                                         
                                         it looks, it's not cartoonish.
                                         
                                         It's not like, it looks like a real
                                         
    
                                         sort of stuffed bear's face.
                                         
                                         Well, and the writer of this article who played the bear
                                         
                                         said that he had in fact been bears in other sketches.
                                         
                                         Perfect.
                                         
                                         There was this ongoing bit where people would get attacked
                                         
                                         by this bear, like there would be this like,
                                         
                                         quote, loser character that would eventually
                                         
                                         get attacked by a bear.
                                         
    
                                         And so he had played a bear so many times
                                         
                                         that when they came up with this idea,
                                         
                                         he was of course the bear again.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I love it.
                                         
                                         God, I had forgotten entirely about the masturbating bear,
                                         
                                         completely and totally forgotten about it.
                                         
                                         Yeah, definitely.
                                         
    
                                         Like totally, if you gave me 100 years
                                         
                                         to come up with a character on a talk show,
                                         
                                         I would never have come up with the masturbating bear.
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         Can I steal you away?
                                         
                                         Yes. Thank you.
                                         
                                         ["T-Rex Theme Song"]
                                         
                                         Are you all ready for this?
                                         
    
                                         Da ba ba.
                                         
                                         What if I did that song?
                                         
                                         It's not that song, but it is T.
                                         
                                         It's not Jock Jams, it's T.
                                         
                                         You know what is amazing about you, Griffin?
                                         
                                         What?
                                         
                                         Each week I struggle so hard because I think like day
                                         
                                         to day I am not always coming into things that delight me.
                                         
    
                                         A lot of times it's a real struggle.
                                         
                                         I feel like you are always seeking out new hobbies
                                         
                                         and interests.
                                         
                                         Lately it has been tea,
                                         
                                         and the fact that you're doing a tea segment
                                         
                                         is so exactly right.
                                         
                                         It's right, but it's also wild.
                                         
                                         I feel like towards the back half of this year,
                                         
    
                                         I've been trying some new stuff,
                                         
                                         like daily exercise
                                         
                                         and like giving a shit about what my hair looks like
                                         
                                         and ADHD medication.
                                         
                                         But like the most surprising thing for me
                                         
                                         is that I have become a real tea guy,
                                         
                                         which I never really would have expected.
                                         
                                         I have dabbled in the past.
                                         
    
                                         You tried to be a tea guy a few times.
                                         
                                         I tried to be a tea guy, but it was coming from a very,
                                         
                                         I don't know, it was an affectation,
                                         
                                         and I didn't really enjoy the tea.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it was okay.
                                         
                                         It was okay.
                                         
                                         I wasn't drinking that good shit,
                                         
                                         and now I'm drinking that good shit.
                                         
    
                                         That was the thing.
                                         
                                         We weren't buying loose leaf tea.
                                         
                                         We weren't spending a lot of time smelling
                                         
                                         and tasting various options. Yeah, because there's a lot of time like smelling and tasting various like options.
                                         
                                         Yeah, because there's a lot of good flavors out there
                                         
                                         if you go out looking for them.
                                         
                                         We were visiting some friends in Baltimore
                                         
                                         just walking around like the harbor area, I guess,
                                         
    
                                         and stopped in the spice and tea exchange.
                                         
                                         I don't mind plugging them.
                                         
                                         This isn't a paid advertisement, but they do good shit.
                                         
                                         And we just were like kind of walking around warming up
                                         
                                         and I was smelling like tea and I was like,
                                         
                                         man, this smells really, really good.
                                         
                                         So I bought a few bags.
                                         
                                         I bought a little steeping pitcher thing
                                         
    
                                         where you put the loose leaf in there
                                         
                                         and you pour the water in and then set it on top of the mug
                                         
                                         that you wanna pour it into.
                                         
                                         And it just drains out the bottom,
                                         
                                         which is very satisfying every time.
                                         
                                         And then I've been drinking about a cup a night ever since.
                                         
                                         My parents are in town right now
                                         
                                         and Griffin has delighted them with his tea selection.
                                         
    
                                         It's nice, it's fun.
                                         
                                         And now they are tea enthusiasts too.
                                         
                                         That gets me excited as well.
                                         
                                         It's just the tea we get is super, super good.
                                         
                                         I usually go for like a cinnamony herbal tea
                                         
                                         or like a fruity cider like sort of tea.
                                         
                                         Feels very festive right now.
                                         
                                         It does.
                                         
    
                                         I think like finding these flavors
                                         
                                         is what sort of unlocked this for me
                                         
                                         because I've never, like I don't rock with like an Earl Grey
                                         
                                         or chamomile or other sort of boring plant flavors.
                                         
                                         I just got excited that if we talk about this,
                                         
                                         people are gonna post in the Facebook group
                                         
                                         about all their favorite kinds of tea.
                                         
                                         And we're gonna get all these new recommendations.
                                         
    
                                         Hell yeah.
                                         
                                         I also really, really like the,
                                         
                                         I'm not gonna talk about the history of tea,
                                         
                                         so if you're expecting that, I apologize.
                                         
                                         It's probably, there's a lot.
                                         
                                         I'm in fact delighted that you are not going to talk about.
                                         
                                         That's great.
                                         
                                         I like the ritual of tea.
                                         
    
                                         I like the ritual of making tea.
                                         
                                         Obviously there's a lot of cultures
                                         
                                         where tea ceremonies are a big deal.
                                         
                                         And I get that because I like setting the,
                                         
                                         we have a little water heater
                                         
                                         that you can set the exact temperature
                                         
                                         you want it to get to.
                                         
                                         So I do that based on like the specifications,
                                         
    
                                         the instructions on each bag of tea.
                                         
                                         And then you pour in the exact amount, eight ounces,
                                         
                                         and then you let it steep for the set amount of time
                                         
                                         that the bag tells you to do.
                                         
                                         And then drain it into a mug
                                         
                                         with a little bit of honey in it.
                                         
                                         It explains a lot to me.
                                         
                                         The fact that you know that there is a right way to do it
                                         
    
                                         and you can do it the right way
                                         
                                         has to be incredibly satisfying.
                                         
                                         It's very satisfying.
                                         
                                         And it makes me feel like I'm getting the right,
                                         
                                         the correct tea experience.
                                         
                                         Especially at night,
                                         
                                         after we have just been with our very unpredictable
                                         
                                         and often wild children.
                                         
    
                                         So have this calming,
                                         
                                         this is the right way to do it
                                         
                                         and I am doing everything correctly.
                                         
                                         And it is much better than the tea
                                         
                                         I have tried to make in the past.
                                         
                                         When I got into tea, it really dovetailed
                                         
                                         with when we all started to get sick all the time.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         I remember I was sick for two weeks,
                                         
                                         right after this trip to Baltimore,
                                         
                                         and I had all this wonderful tea
                                         
                                         to help me on my path to health.
                                         
                                         Don't say wonderful tea.
                                         
                                         People are gonna think we make our own tea,
                                         
                                         and we do not. We don't.
                                         
                                         Yet. Yet.
                                         
    
                                         We could make a kick-ass tea, I bet.
                                         
                                         But now we're still, we still get sick a bunch
                                         
                                         this time of year.
                                         
                                         It's also very, very cold, and having just like
                                         
                                         a nice little, just having a warm mug in my hands at night,
                                         
                                         on a cold night, like that just feels nice
                                         
                                         and it smells incredible.
                                         
                                         I've been a coffee guy for a long time,
                                         
    
                                         but there's a part, like coffee feels almost perfunctory
                                         
                                         to me at this point.
                                         
                                         Like it is a thing I do every morning
                                         
                                         and once in the afternoon.
                                         
                                         And I don't like, I obviously like need it to get going,
                                         
                                         but I don't like finish it before it gets cold usually.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         But-
                                         
    
                                         Well, yeah, and you're always kind of doing something else.
                                         
                                         Right.
                                         
                                         Like it's not an active thing, it's like an accessory.
                                         
                                         But like tea kind of demands my attention.
                                         
                                         Like I like to hold it and warm my hands up
                                         
                                         and hold it close and smell it and sip at it
                                         
                                         while we like enjoy our evening of reality TV watching.
                                         
                                         Do I need to be jealous of tea?
                                         
    
                                         I'm not in love with the tea.
                                         
                                         I also do, I do love however,
                                         
                                         that because it tells you the temperature to brew it at,
                                         
                                         it is like the exact right temperature to drink
                                         
                                         when it's done like steeping.
                                         
                                         So like you pour it in the cup and it's ready to go.
                                         
                                         You don't have to wait for it to cool down.
                                         
                                         That is a huge improvement.
                                         
    
                                         It's so fucking good, man.
                                         
                                         There's not like a bunch of extremely strong evidence
                                         
                                         out there that tea has like a bunch of tangible
                                         
                                         long-term health benefits for you.
                                         
                                         There's a lot of not as sort of peer-reviewed stuff
                                         
                                         out there saying as much.
                                         
                                         Well, and there's the suggestion that if you're comparing
                                         
                                         tea and coffee, tea is a healthier option.
                                         
    
                                         It depends entirely, I think,
                                         
                                         on what type of tea you're drinking.
                                         
                                         Yeah, the caffeine is a big thing.
                                         
                                         Tea does contain a lot of polyphenols,
                                         
                                         which is a plant compound that acts as like an antioxidant,
                                         
                                         anti-inflammatory sort of situation.
                                         
                                         There have been studies that show that like
                                         
                                         regular tea consumption can help lower the risk of
                                         
    
                                         like certain cardiovascular diseases,
                                         
                                         but again, not a lot of great studies showing that.
                                         
                                         That's not why I drink it.
                                         
                                         Like I drink it for,
                                         
                                         because I like to have a special little treat for myself
                                         
                                         at the end of the day.
                                         
                                         And tea is absolutely that for me.
                                         
                                         Well, and for a long time we were doing ice cream
                                         
    
                                         or an alcoholic beverage, which was not sustainable for us.
                                         
                                         No, not to the degree that we were certainly eating ice cream.
                                         
                                         And now, yeah, because of the ritual,
                                         
                                         because this takes a while to make and to drink,
                                         
                                         like I feel like at the end of it,
                                         
                                         like, okay, my snacking,
                                         
                                         I don't need to go quite as crazy
                                         
                                         on like the late night snacking,
                                         
    
                                         which is where I feel like you and I
                                         
                                         typically do go too hard sometimes.
                                         
                                         I'm also just kind of excited by tea
                                         
                                         because yeah, I feel like I have taken my first nascent steps
                                         
                                         into this gigantic world of teas.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Like I have had chai tea in the past
                                         
                                         that I've always enjoyed,
                                         
    
                                         but I haven't like really gotten too deep into it.
                                         
                                         So like that's a whole vector to explore.
                                         
                                         Like there's a whole universe of tea opportunities out there
                                         
                                         waiting for me to discover it.
                                         
                                         Tea opportunities?
                                         
                                         Opportunities?
                                         
                                         Opportunities?
                                         
                                         Opportunities.
                                         
    
                                         Probably that.
                                         
                                         All of these work for me.
                                         
                                         Yeah, me too, definitely.
                                         
                                         Like there's classic teas.
                                         
                                         I didn't realize this, the like classic,
                                         
                                         like white teas, yellow teas, green teas, oolong, black teas,
                                         
                                         like there's all of those use a specific plant,
                                         
                                         like the traditional tea plant, which is,
                                         
    
                                         I'm gonna say this wrong, Chameleon sinensis,
                                         
                                         is the name of the plant,
                                         
                                         where all of these traditional teas come from.
                                         
                                         And it gives it like a specific mouthfeel and flavor and caffeine sort of content.
                                         
                                         And then there's herbal teas, which use parts of different plants.
                                         
                                         And that's where you get into, you know, the all most of the teas that I drink at this
                                         
                                         point.
                                         
                                         But then there's like chai and mate and rubos
                                         
    
                                         and all of these different kinds.
                                         
                                         I'm drinking this elderberry herbal tea now,
                                         
                                         and like I don't, I couldn't pick an elderberry
                                         
                                         out of a lineup.
                                         
                                         Yeah, right?
                                         
                                         That's what, that is kind of been a barrier for me,
                                         
                                         is I will look at Bags of Tea online
                                         
                                         and it will list all of the various plants,
                                         
    
                                         and I have no idea what these plants are.
                                         
                                         I don't know what the fuck that is.
                                         
                                         You really kind of have to get your nose in it.
                                         
                                         You gotta get in there.
                                         
                                         I ordered a, I had to restock some were running low
                                         
                                         and I got a sampler, a holiday sample.
                                         
                                         Oh, good.
                                         
                                         So we'll dabble, we'll try some new stuff.
                                         
    
                                         I don't know, I'm just learning about the whole world
                                         
                                         through this journey.
                                         
                                         And I'm so glad that you have been so supportive
                                         
                                         and have enjoyed the tea too.
                                         
                                         I like making tea for you.
                                         
                                         It feels nice.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it's very nice.
                                         
                                         There's also a lot less accessories.
                                         
    
                                         Like remember when you were candy making?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         And there were so many things involved
                                         
                                         and it really started to take up a lot of space.
                                         
                                         Now I got a little shelf.
                                         
                                         Yeah, you just have a little shelf.
                                         
                                         There are only so many ways to make tea, you know?
                                         
                                         And I love it.
                                         
    
                                         And I would love some tea recommendations
                                         
                                         from the listeners.
                                         
                                         Tea-mendations.
                                         
                                         Not everything.
                                         
                                         Recommendations.
                                         
                                         Recommendations.
                                         
                                         It's so fun is the thing. I recognize it's not funny. It's so fun is the thing.
                                         
                                         I recognize it's not funny.
                                         
    
                                         It's just fun.
                                         
                                         Not everything has to be funny.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         You wanna know what our friends at home are talking about?
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         Katie says, my small wonder is seeing people's
                                         
                                         Spotify wrapped top podcasts and seeing random crossover
                                         
                                         with the podcast I listen to too.
                                         
    
                                         This random person I don't know also listens to Wonderful
                                         
                                         and this might get weird.
                                         
                                         We must be so alike.
                                         
                                         My Spotify rap is absolute trash this year.
                                         
                                         I don't really use Spotify all that often
                                         
                                         so I don't even look at it.
                                         
                                         But like is yours all just kid stuff?
                                         
                                         Oh dude, it's all.
                                         
    
                                         I know that the Adventure Time song is number one for you.
                                         
                                         Yes, we have a playlist.
                                         
                                         It's called the Henry and Gus Party Bus
                                         
                                         and it's like all of the songs they always want to hear
                                         
                                         when we do our late night dance parties to work them out.
                                         
                                         Or if we're in the car. Or if we're in the car.
                                         
                                         And so like that is absolutely the bulk of it,
                                         
                                         and then, you know, Henry's bedtime song
                                         
    
                                         is Everything Stays from Adventure Time,
                                         
                                         and I was in the top 0.001% of listeners globally
                                         
                                         to that tune,
                                         
                                         which is what happens when you listen to it
                                         
                                         every single day.
                                         
                                         It is a gorgeous song, by the way.
                                         
                                         Beautiful song, my dear Ed.
                                         
                                         I always love hearing it.
                                         
    
                                         Me too, I love that song a lot.
                                         
                                         How about this one from Adela who says,
                                         
                                         "'My Small Wonder' is flat surfaces in bathroom stalls.
                                         
                                         "'It's always such a wonderful solace
                                         
                                         "'to be able to set my phone and wall it down
                                         
                                         "'on a flat surface to ensure it doesn't fall in the toilet.
                                         
                                         Drives me crazy when I have a hot drink,
                                         
                                         and I know I shouldn't be taking that into a bathroom,
                                         
    
                                         I know, but then like all that's there
                                         
                                         is a rounded toilet paper dispenser, dangerous.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and you don't wanna put it on the floor.
                                         
                                         I recognize a surface in a bathroom
                                         
                                         is probably not much better than the floor,
                                         
                                         but it feels better than the floor.
                                         
                                         Yeah, that's it.
                                         
                                         Thank you so much for listening.
                                         
    
                                         Thank you to Bo Anne and Augustus
                                         
                                         for the use of our theme song, Money Won't Pay.
                                         
                                         Finally to that in the episode description.
                                         
                                         This week, this Saturday, December 14th,
                                         
                                         the week you're hearing this.
                                         
                                         Okay, now, yeah.
                                         
                                         It's going to be Candlelights,
                                         
                                         the annual Candlelight Spectacular.
                                         
    
                                         Can I say one thing?
                                         
                                         I always wanna remind people
                                         
                                         that if you are not available to watch it this Saturday,
                                         
                                         go ahead and get a ticket,
                                         
                                         cause you can watch it later.
                                         
                                         Yeah, a video on Depend is available
                                         
                                         for a few weeks after.
                                         
                                         And it's, we work really hard on it.
                                         
    
                                         And everybody does a special bit.
                                         
                                         The Wonderful segment is unhinged.
                                         
                                         And I think everybody's really, really gonna like it a lot.
                                         
                                         But all the bits are great.
                                         
                                         We have special guest segments from-
                                         
                                         Oh, I just saw that Dwight and Justin
                                         
                                         are doing things I bought at Cheats.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
    
                                         So I'm excited about it.
                                         
                                         If you enjoy the stuff we make,
                                         
                                         like all of it is kind of represented
                                         
                                         here on the Candle Night Show.
                                         
                                         And all the proceeds go to benefit Harmony House,
                                         
                                         which is a really, really great organization in Huntington
                                         
                                         that works to end homelessness by providing
                                         
                                         all kinds of services and housing to folks who need it.
                                         
    
                                         It's an incredible group of folks,
                                         
                                         and I'm so glad we're able to support them with this thing.
                                         
                                         Bit.ly slash Candle Nights Tickets 2024
                                         
                                         is where you need to go to get your tickets
                                         
                                         and come watch it Saturday, December 14th at 9 p.m.
                                         
                                         is when it airs.
                                         
                                         We'll be airing it like, we pre-made it,
                                         
                                         but it'll be a live airing and there's a chat room.
                                         
    
                                         And we can get in there.
                                         
                                         We love the chat experience too.
                                         
                                         Because Griffin in, worked very hard
                                         
                                         and it is always nice to see people appreciate the stuff.
                                         
                                         Yes, I'm very excited to see people's reaction
                                         
                                         to your contribution as well.
                                         
                                         So come and see it.
                                         
                                         And we got some merch, there's Canonites merch,
                                         
    
                                         there's some Last Fungalore merch up in the merch store,
                                         
                                         McElroyMerch.com.
                                         
                                         So go check that out as well.
                                         
                                         And hopefully we'll see you then.
                                         
                                         And we'll see you here next week
                                         
                                         for another episode of Wonderful.
                                         
                                         So stay tuned.
                                         
                                         I almost did the besties outro.
                                         
    
                                         That's a first.
                                         
                                         What do you guys say at the end of besties?
                                         
                                         Shouldn't the world's best friends pick the world's
                                         
                                         best games? Oh, you still say that.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Oh, I love that.
                                         
                                         But we're kind of best, I mean, we're best friends, just married best friends. And we picked the world's besties. Shouldn't the world's best friends pick the world's best games? Oh, you still say that. Yeah. Oh, I love that.
                                         
                                         But we're kind of best, I mean, we're best friends,
                                         
    
                                         just married best friends,
                                         
                                         and we pick the world's best stuff.
                                         
                                         Period.
                                         
                                         I know, right?
                                         
                                         Take that, besties.
                                         
                                         Take that, besties.
                                         
                                         Chumps.
                                         
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