Wonderful! - Wonderful! 392: 2025 Halloween SPOOKtacular

Episode Date: October 22, 2025

For this holiday season, Rachel and Griffin play SMASH or PASS with the top tasty delicacies and creepy tropes!Music: “Money Won’t Pay” by bo en and Augustus – https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoyaBorder Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/

Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hello, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is wonderful. That's the sound of a scary ghost walking by. It's a little bit chilly. It's a little chilly. The ghost is cold. but he's also spectral and you should be greatly afeard of him because on wonderful we talk

about things we like that's good that we're into and today it's a little bit early we were thinking just doing the Halloween sputacular now because we figured if we can get ahead of the rush of Halloween programming you know we're going to get a lot more likes people are going to give you time right and give you time we know that you make your decisions based on the content you hear in this show. And we thought if we put out our Halloween picks now, yes. You'll have time to respond and, you know, make your choices in advance of the holiday itself. Yes. Before we get into it, do you have any small wonders? I'm very excited for the format of this episode. You're all business today. Well, I have a lot going on in my life

personally and professionally and spiritually. Oh. Yeah. Okay. We should talk about that. Yeah, that's my small wonders, my spiritual walk. Your journey? My journey. It's a sort of astral alignment with like some kind of like eastern stuff thrown in there. Uh-oh. A few crystals, but it's like not even anything worth like worrying about. Are you going to start wearing more bracelets?

Maybe. I don't know. I can't pull off most accessories. I feel silly enough even wearing a watch. Do you have a small wonder? Okay, so my small wonder will be. So for years and years, my parents would go to the St. Louis Blue's home opener. Right.

Largely because we would arrange that to happen because my dad's birthday is in October and it would usually align closely with the game. And they would give us the calendar. Yes. And now they live here. And so that didn't happen. And I was a little bit distressed because I really love that St. Louis Blues home opener calendar. Right. Each month has a little picture of a blues player, which is not my favorite part.

My favorite part is that each game is listed on the calendar. Yeah. Which makes it easier for me. And I just like having a calendar that I can see my days in front of me. You love a calendar. Anyway, I just found one on eBay. Yeah, because we weren't able to make it to St. Louis this year. So now I will have it.

and I don't have to miss out, and I feel great about that. Yeah. I'm struggling. I was going to say NyQuil, I'm almost certain I've done a couple of seconds based on NyQuil, because being sick is kind of the pits. I'm going to say room refreshes. We've refreshed Henry's bedroom, hung up some shelves, some new shelves, move some stuff around. And it's just always, I think, really neat to take a

room in your house that you interact with a million times, you know, a day and make it new, vivacious. I remember very clearly every time that, like, my parents would move around the living room furniture and be like, and this is the new setup. And I'm always feeling very excited by that. Yeah, that's not something historically we've done a lot of, but now that we live in, you know, our city house, you know, where space is kind of, um, a little tighter, a little constrained. It's more necessary.

Yeah. And I enjoy it too. Here's what we're doing today, folks. We're going to have two sort of general segments here talking about Halloween stuff. Got lists for you, lists that we're going to go down. And we're going to just sort of give our broad reactions to the items on these lists through a vehicle that the youths call Smash or Pass. And I mentioned this to Rachel, and your response was, is this a thing? that teens do on TikTok, and I replied, I don't think they do it anymore.

It is the thing that is so old at this point that I feel like it is way, like they were doing this shit on like hot ones back in 2022. And it's like, you know that it does not have that long. What did smash mean? Like pass I can figure out, but what did smash mean? Smash means to have, want to have sex. Like I'm trying to smash And so on hot ones

Yeah I don't know if they did it on hot ones That's just like the vibe of That's like the energy And so smash It doesn't have to mean like I want to have sex with You know

This garlic buffalo sauce Right Because clearly that would be That would hurt Yeah No matter what you've got going on down there You do not want hot sauce on it So it's more like I like it

And pass means like, I don't, I wouldn't. I don't like it as much. Or I wouldn't make love to it. But again, we're sort of abstracting it out. And so that's what we'll be doing and expounding on those sort of judgments as we pass them. Do I have to say smash or pass? I do think that that is sort of maybe the only integral component of the game. Okay.

Okay. Now it's good to know the rules. But again, we need to clarify. And we'll do this several times throughout the show. we are not talking about sexual stuff. It's just like a way. There's no other way to say like I like it or I don't like it. Do you know what I mean?

No, there's no other way. There's no other way. It's Smash or Pass is very, very efficient. And, you know, we have a lot to get through. And so efficiency is important. You've prepared the first list for us of Halloween items. So what are we discussing first in the first block of our show here today? So I wanted to talk about Halloween candy.

Okay. And when you say that I've prepared the list, actually Thrillist has prepared the list. Thank you, Thrillist, for preparing the list for us. They have Halloween candies ranked. Okay. And they have all the way up to 31 inexplicably. We'll see how many of them we get through. Do you want me to start at 31 or do you want me to start at like 20 or 15?

How would that work if you started at 15? Oh, you mean like work your way up? No, I'm saying I start at the 20th place candy or the 15th place candy. I think start at number one and let's go down maybe even. Oh, you don't like the suspense of what is the number one candy? Oh, that's a good point. Right. All right.

Start at 31, but we'll do skipsies if it seems like it's dragon. Okay. But I don't think it'll take us that long to get through 31 candies. This one I don't think you're going to agree with. Their last place candy is Smarties. Smarties smash. Huge smash. Yeah, I feel like our boys really like Smarties.

Smart. I mean, you know what you're getting into. It's like a tart little treat. It's one where, and I don't need a lot of them. If I see a roll open and my kids are enjoying them, I'll sneak a couple in there. I'll tuck them into my cheeks like a chipmunk. Do they taste different? Do different colors taste different? Probably. But I mean, it's, when the flavor is so overwritten by citric acid, like it doesn't really matter. Yeah, I'm a hard pass on Smarties. Hard pass. Interesting. I don't like candies like Peas. smarties. Anything that is just crunchy sugar. Yeah. No, thank you. Again, I couldn't do a whole role of smarties. That would make me sick to my tummy. But one or two smarties? Like, yeah, absolutely. The doctor recommended. One or two. One to two smarties. Why not? Next. 30 on this list of 31 is airheads. Smash. I do like airheads a lot. I don't fuck with most taffies in general. But

Airheads are the only ones where it feels like they've gotten the flavor kind of really dialed in. Yeah. There's jokes, too, right? No, that's Laffy Taffy. That's Laffy. They're very similar, though. The white airheads are dope. This is the thing. I feel pretty particular about the flavor. Yeah. But I will probably say pass also. Okay. Like the grit. Is it the grit that you don't like? A lot of people don't like the grit. The stickiness, just the tooth stickiness. I mean, you're in the wrong sort of. country. Like if I've got 15 candies in front of me, they're probably 14 I would choose before

Airheads. That's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy. 29 Jolly Ranchers. Smash. I'm realizing now I might smash most of these. Jolly Ranchers are huge for me because like, again, like, give me a little treat that lasts a while and delivers a strong good flavor. Hello. That's Jolly Ranchers. What's your favorite Jolly Rancher? You said that. My might immediately jump to grape. There's a lot of, I do like grape candies a lot. I like, Honestly, they all kind of fuck, don't they? Blue raspberry. The blue raspberry changes the color of their mouth a little bit too much for my taste.

I got to go a watermelon. Watermelon's pretty good, too, green apple. You can't go wrong. Jolly Rancher's absolutely rip ass. I'm going to pass on that one, too. That's crazy. Do you like candy? I like a particular assortment of candy, which will probably become pretty evident as we get further down this list.

That's true. But if it is a hard candy, The bar is pretty high. Wow, because it's going to be last, it's a last for a while. You're going to be working on it for a while. Or you buy it into it and it's gone immediately and it's like there's the texture is, is. I will say, I don't, I don't enjoy when the Jolly Ranger gets down to a single sliver, a shard, like a sort of ovular shard. Yeah.

I don't enjoy that. Sometimes I'll spit that right out, like it's the pit. No, that is unpleasant. It's the seed of the Jolly Rancher. Okay. Now, this thrill list has some spleen into do. And I've noticed this on other lists, too, when I was doing my quote-unquote research in this segment.

31 candies. Number 28 in a ranked list is Sour Patch Kids. Holy shit smash. Crazy. Who would put it that low? Let me, and I'm assuming in all of these, we're talking about fun size. Can we make that assumption? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I don't think that's really a part of the ranking, but. But I think that there's certain candy. deliveries where fun size is like perfect i do actually want seven sour patch kids yeah that's great for me because i if you give me a whole big bag i'll i'll get i'll get a tummy egg from it seven sour patch kids a strong good powerful flavor delivered quickly uh as much as it pains me to say you're not about to pass on sour patch no i i i am going to say smash i'm just uncomfortable saying

smash yeah yeah well again it is but here's the thing i'm realized but here's the thing i'm realized about myself in this conversation. I need multiple variables here. I need flavor and texture. Of course. And you really get that with Sour Patch Kids. And in saying that, you're suggesting that I don't need flavor and texture. I feel like you just need flavor.

Not true. I feel like you don't really care. Untrue. Jolly Rancher's smarty is texture is like there's nothing. I like a smarty you suck on it and it kind of like disintegrates. That's awesome. But there's no like variation. There's no chewiness.

It's just hard. We can't cross-examine. We can't relitigate Jolly Ranchers. We have so many candies. Okay. Anyway, I love Sourapatch Kids. Fuck yeah. 27 is garbage.

The fact that this is a head of Sour Patch Kids makes me so angry. 27 is Runtz. Runtz. I enjoyed that there is so much difference in between, like, the, you know, and usually in a sugary candy, you don't get a lot of variation in the, like, different colors. Runts does have, like, a lot of. different flavor runt to run. There's like two good runts and then there's like five bad runs. When I was in sixth grade, they were still really kind of trying to bridge that transition

between elementary and middle. And so they would reward you with candy and you could go into, as I recall the principal's office. Awesome. And get a scoop of runts and you would dip your hand into this glass jar. Awesome. Fuck yeah. Hey, pass because of this story. No thanks. Scoop runs. And you would put it into like an envelope that you would like put in the mail yeah um all the runts could be good except the banana one and it would still be a pass for me that is how foul the banana run is tell me how i'm supposed to fucking eat this arc this hard arc of crazy yeah i will also pass on runs uh number 26 does kind of satisfy my two variables of texture and flavor um although i don't know that i love it and that is blow pops oh charm's blow pop is a huge smash

for me that was a highlight for me that is usually the first thing i'll reach for i enjoy that experience of like the the outer shell kind of crumbling into the gum love that the gum is kind of the gum sucks instantly yeah i mean the gum you get five or six good shoes out of and then you got to shoot it out but i like it i like that grit mixed in with the gum are you a pass it sounds like uh no i'll smash i'll smash it great i'll smash it because it does my two variables. Yeah, sure. I'm going to combine 25 and 24 because I feel like, I don't know, in my head, they deserve the same category. Twenty-five is Whoppers and 24 is Milk Duds. Pass.

On both? Yeah, pass on both. I used to like Woppers. I like moult. I like malt as a flavor, a mulled. Give me a salted at the soda shop. Yeah. But Milk Duds, that's way too chewy for me. And Woppers, honestly, Woppers are one where it's like, you know, Each box is a different level of crunch. Some of them are crunchy. Some are like hard, chewy, weird. Just the quality control is interesting. I haven't gotten enough to really have that differentiating.

I will just say that both of them when I'm eating them, I'm like, do I really want to keep eating this? A lot of work. A lot of work. Like I don't particularly enjoy either, but it's chocolate. And for me, that's exciting. So I will keep eating, but I don't enjoy the experience. No, pass. 23 is Milky Way

This is a complicated Can we can we let's let's let's combine Let's just do all the bars real fast Whoa hey no Well no because listen A lot of the Milky Way is a Snickers without peanuts Ah no You don't think so?

I do like a Milky Way It's it in the past I would have told you That's my favorite candy bar I have changed as a man as an adult as a father and now it is like a lot of stuff that is going to not make me feel so great in a fun-sized package however I do actually I will go for a soft pillow of caramel chocolatey goodness I'm going to say smash yeah I'll also say smash I mean it's definitely in the bar continuum not my favorite yeah no but I mean chocolate and caramel yeah can't go wrong uh 22

laughy taffy pass bad flavors not airheads jokes not great yeah joke kind of overrated honestly like it not worth it to me 21 nerds this is an interesting conversation point okay nerds tiny you have to eat so many to get anything out of it yeah and can you go ahead and tell me are we going to get to nerds ropes or uh chewy gummy nerds I do I do kind of fuck with gummy nerds a little bit our kids like no there are not varieties of nerds I like nerds as a seasoning to other candy yeah okay on that mess around with that. Oh, yeah.

I mean, I don't think so. Gummy nerds are incredible. Gummy nerds are pretty dope. Satifies again my flavor and texture. The texture goes crazy on gummy nerds. Yeah. I pass for sure.

Number 20, Skittles. Smash. No, no, don't need to expound. Smash. Yeah, I will also smash, although I won't. What? What, babe? Oh, okay.

It won't be the kind of smash where I will feel euphoric after. Oh, I see. Right. Like, I'll smash if there's some Skittles there. Yeah. But after, I'm not going to feel like, oh, my God. See, I will. I absolutely will.

Number 19, I feel emotional about because there was a long period of my life when I could not have chocolate because there was this assumption that I was allergic to it. Number 19 is the payday. I'm not even sure gun to my head I can tell you what a payday is It's like a bar of Carmel And it's wrapped in peanuts Like full peanuts

Oh that's a pie day? Oh okay Huge fucking pass Are you kidding me That is not a candy bar The peanuts are salted though Which is what I like about it Okay that's cool

Crazy texture no thanks I enjoy a payday It's like eating a cobblestone road Not interested in it Thank you It's beautiful 18, gosh, I don't know how to say this. Haribo.

Haribo, yeah. Haribo gummies. Oh, gosh. Sour gold bears. I think those are Haribo, right? Or is that a different company? Those are good. I like, I don't like a lot of sour delivery methods.

I like how a Haribo gummy, like, requires a little, they're toothsome to toothsome candy. So often I feel like I'm getting old, old ones. Uh-huh. It's hard to tell because they are so firm and toothsome. I'll say pass. I'm going to pass due on that. 17. This one, Junior Mints.

Wow. I feel like it is nice as a refresher from other candies. Sure, it's like the ginger on the sushi platter. Yeah, exactly. Like if you've got a bag full of candy and you are working your way through, it's nice to have junior mints there to just kind of step back, cleanse the palate. The mint flavor is. I've eaten so many junior mints.

The mint flavor I don't have much of an appetite for. I find it a bit synthetic, which it is. And I don't know. Like an Andy's mint is a bit fresher to me. Is it Andy's mint on there? No. Are we going to get to a York peppermint patty? I don't think so.

I don't know why you're pointing. I have a one finger, one curved grandpally. Hey, you there. Hey, you. Get your damn hands off of her. Pass. Um, I'd smash. Wow.

I'd smash. I've definitely gotten like a box of these at a movie theater before and like eaten an alarming number. Sure. How do you feel after that though? Not great. Not great. It's not great.

It's assertive. Yeah. 16 Twizzlers. Pass. There you only go ones are pull and peel and like even though sometimes I don't know. Yeah. Liquorish again is kind of like woppers and milk duds. There's a lot of movie candies where I'm like, I don't know if I'm enjoying this.

Here's what sucks though. I love licorice. Twizzlers are not good, licorish. They're really not good licorish. There's such a market for, like, artisanal licorish, and I'm kind of a sucker for it, because that kind of licorish is, like, really, really good. Filled Twizzlers are dope also. I will absolutely get down with those.

But you can't guarantee that. If someone says, I'm going out for Twizzlers, do you want any? I say pass. All right. Do we want to skip ahead at this point? Probably, yeah. Okay. If you bring up one, I can tell you where it is on the list.

Like, if I get to the top three and you're like, wait, where's this? I can go back and tell you where it is. Okay. Okay. Do you want to do top three or top five? Top five. Okay, top five. Number five, Butterfinger.

Yeah, smash. Yeah, me too. I had to think about it because it does, again, it is a toothsome. The way it kind of collapses in on itself and then turns into sort of hard tack, I could take or leave. Yeah, the chocolate is kind of like any other, it's unlike any other chocolate. Yes. And the inside is weird. Yeah.

It is crispyy, crunchity, and I do like that. though. The flavor is nice, though. I don't like the finish, I guess is what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm actually pretty deeply into. Again, fun size, a little pillow of Butterfinger. Yeah. Smash. Hard smash. Yeah. It's one of those candies where if I'm eating a handful of Halloween candy, I won't put Butterfinger at the end. Yeah. I feel like I need to have a good one after Butterfinger. Exactly. Number four, Kit Kat. Smash. Yeah, me too. Crazy. Like, yeah, you got it. That one's almost cheating because it's like, oh, okay, a wafer, wafer thin cookie covered in chocolate like sure and the way you've separated it into four

perfect lovely lovely little ingots of chocolate and wafer that's awesome i love that yeah no i like i like that experience where it's like they they have made your pacing uh choices for you yeah also like i mean japan goes fucking so hard on the kit cat scene oh my god i know one time we got like one of those Segoy crates with like a mix of Kit Katz in it that was like so dope

and when we did our honeymoon there in 2014 we brought back like two bags of those pumpkin kit cats that were so good and we've never been able to find out not pumpkin pie

because they sell pumpkin pie kick cats in the States this was like pumpkin and it was incredible it was very very unctious uh number three Snickers

Smash forever Best Smash of course Smash forever and it's maybe the only one that I could do I will do a full-sized candy bar of

because it's got so much going on in there. It's so complex. That is a candy bar for a grown-up. That's a meal substitute bar. It really is. Yeah. It is a hearty snack. Number two, Twix.

Yeah, Smash. Yeah. I would say so too. Weird. Weird. I would put Snickers and probably Kit Kat above Twix. Yeah. I don't know if I put Kit Kat above Twix.

But Snick-Kat. for sure would go above Twix for me. I tell you, it's the two and a thing that I don't necessarily understand because it's like... See, the Kit Kat, you enjoy that there's portions. It comes in a fun ingot, though. Like, it comes in a raft of Kit Kat.

That's awesome. Because then it's up to you. Do you snap them off and have like a single ingot at a timer? Do you chomp into the whole sheet? Like, that's cool. The Twix is just like, you putting two in there feels a little desperate to me.

Well, that's when they started that whole campaign about like, share with a friend because I think they realize people are confused. But little dead. Debbie makes, like, the flat, long Twix, like the caramel. I forget what it's called, like a caramel cookie bar or something like that. And it proves that, like, the form can be improved upon it. It feels like Twix hasn't really explored that much.

But still Smash. It's great. Well, I think there's just a lot of candy bars with caramel inside. And I think they had to figure out, like, how do we differentiate, you know? Can I guess number one? Yeah. M&M's? No, dude.

Think about the Halloween. Candy corn? No. Good. No. Good. I don't even know if candy corn's on this list. Fucking good.

It shouldn't be. Think about, like, when you're thinking about candies that, like, gussy themselves up with Halloween-specific. Oh, Recy Cups. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. They were really undeniably good.

And it speaks to the strength of them that there are seasonal variants of basically every imaginable stripe. You want hearts. You want eggs. You want Santa Claus's. You want straight cups. You want pumpkins. they'll do it all man yeah can't go wrong it's crazy it's amazing yeah and i do like the seasonal ones because the ratio of peanut butter to chocolate is increased i'll tell you i don't like the wrappers

it feels like we should have reached a technology level there are a lot of waste materials there's a waste materials they used to come in like the the wrapper and then there would be like a sheet of cardboard and then like the wax wrapper around that like that's so much shit you guys yeah because especially if you have a few and then you have this just like landfill in front of you it's extra temper your shit guys extra wasteful huge smash yeah i would also um this a smash that food item our judgment has been passed let's steal you away and then we'll come right back okay this one's gonna test the limits of what smash or pass is capable of because today i've prepared a list of horror movie oh so i still have to smash or pass this

Yes. This is a list of horror movie topics, and we are going to talk smash or pass of these horror movie topics, whether or not, like, they are still exciting and interesting to us in this day and age. It is going to feel weird to smash something that involves violence. Zombies. Start. Start with zombies. Okay. Can you phrase that in a way where I'm not saying that I would smash zombies? Zombie movies. Okay. Yes. So smash or pass? interesting see I'm a pass I've kind of gotten I don't really 28 days later yeah no it's good I guess I'm thinking of like now like if a new zombie movie did you see 28 years later well no I was bad you still watch him Walking Dead I feel like I've gotten but I believe you can make a good one just because they haven't made a good one doesn't mean that you still couldn't I don't know I'm basing mine off of it's sort of just sort of experiential if I I'm happy to change this next time we play this game

if we're getting some fresh new zombie movies out there. I love a lot of zombie movies. Interesting. So that's a parameter that you want me to hold? It's just where you're at now. Like, where are you at now on zombie stuff? Okay. That's not, has there ever been a good zombie movie.

Of course there has been. Okay. Okay, that's a good point. I would say yes. Like, if I see a zombie movies out, I'm more likely to pass based on recent zombie media. Yeah. But I would say, you know, 10 years ago, smash. Of course.

But this is today. We have to do it based on today. Okay, because again, this is an annual celebration. Here's the big. I don't really watch horror movies anymore. So maybe then a lot of mine would pass. I guess it's just what would you find interesting. Next one.

A guy with a knife movies. Pass. Smash for me. Still hard to beat. Like, that can be scary. A guy with a knife is like. Too scary. Well, yeah, but I like it.

I like to be freaked out and like really, really spooked. I think what's tricky with horror movies is I needed to be a little not real. Okay. You know, at this point in my life, I needed to feel like, well, that couldn't happen. Okay. Which is kind of why zombie is more likely for me. Right. Guy with a knife feels a little too real.

Yeah. Guy with a knife movies, that could be, that could absolutely be real. All you need for that to happen is a guy pick up a knife. And now we're off two of the movies. Slashers, they call them. Yeah. I used to, I mean, I used to like the Halloween films. I don't know if Freddie Kruger is exactly guy with a knife.

He's guy with like eight knives. But I enjoyed him as well. Yeah. And I think that you could also fold in, like, Your Next or, like, any movie where it's just, like, you know, rich douchebags try to kill all their friends or whatever. Bodies, bodies, bodies could technically, I guess, be a guy with a knife. That's sort of its own deal. Demonic possession. Pass.

Pass. Yeah. Doesn't really do it for me. Yeah, me either. Aliens. Oh, interesting. Oh, probably smash. I'd say perennial smash forever.

Forever smash. Can't go wrong. Yeah, it's really interesting to see people speculate as to like what kind of advanced technology the aliens are bringing. Sure. And kind of how our humanity will deal with that. I think my favorite horror movie of the decade is Nope, which is a really, really, really good. I think about that a lot. I think about Nope all the time.

I think it's the best alien horror movie since like, I don't know, the thing you would fold in there, right? Because that's technically about aliens, but that's sort of its own, that's its own sort of monster category. And then, of course, alien, aliens, all them alien movies. Yeah. Yeah, that's a definite smash. Ghosts. Those tend to be kind of funny, which I enjoy. Do you?

You funny ghost movie? I've, well, I'm thinking of the Christmas film we watched. Well, okay, I'm not talking about the ghost of Christmas future past and present. No, no, no, I'm talking about that bad, that bad one that we watched. So we made Justin and Sydney watch the ghost lover at the vacation home where the woman went. The ghost lover at the vacation home where the woman went. It wasn't a horror movie. It was a Christmas movie

I don't remember this movie It was a woman she went to this old property And there was a ghost there This is probably not worth getting into But then she had to like fall in love with the ghost Oh yeah okay now I remember yeah Holy shit what was that movie fucking called God dang it

I don't know but they did like a how did this get made about it I think Shit man we gotta watch that again this year Anyway, ghost ghost yeah smash All right yeah Okay I don't find them particularly scary But it can't polter guys is like classic I kind of want mine to be not that scary yeah mummies pass okay to me there's an under

representation like the mummies kind of the only one I just haven't seen I have well I haven't seen the mummy yeah period um and yeah I just haven't mummies haven't that's crazy by the way I know mummies haven't proven themselves to me I guess let's watch mummy this year this Halloween you'll like it I bet accidents movie which is really just final destination I guess unless there's other accidents. Smash. Smash. Yeah. Yeah. I love seeing what other kind of like silly stuff they're going to. Those freak me out a little bit. I don't like seeing. It freaks me out a little bit when it's like a younger

cast. Yeah, the first one was freaky. I mean, a lot of them were pretty pretty funny. I didn't see a lot of them, but I remember the first one. I think I seen all. I didn't see the 3D1 or maybe the 4D1, but I definitely saw 1, 2, and 3 and 5. I don't know why I skip 4. It's crazy. It works. It works powerfully on an anxious brain. yeah absolutely it does and also like there's a lot i had the DVD for final destination three and i remember watching the special features and i remember my i think my fascination with like practical effects and horror movies maybe even started there because like watching how they did the different squishes and stuff yeah uh i found very interesting sharks oh pass yeah i'm not really scared of sharks i think growing up

in the Midwest. Yeah, you're landlocked. You're not going to get a lot of. My access to beach was so limited that like I understand maybe if you were a coastal person, why you'd be afraid of sharks, but I just couldn't feel anything about them. I will also pass. I do enjoy how shark movies are forced to get their characters into the water. Sharks is such a, right now, I have a, I have a shark-free guarantee because I am sitting in our office and there's no water and there's no sharks. To, For a shark movie to work, you've got to keep getting back in the water. I love how they continue to do this shit. That was what was so charming about Shark Nato.

Yeah, no, they bring it to you. Was that they really addressed that problem about like, okay, well, they can stay out of the water. All right, what if we bring the sharks to them? Other animals. Can you give me an example of that? Any non-sharks. Cujo, Congo, ass.

Bear, cocaine bear. Cucane bear ribs. Is that a horror movie? Cocaine bear? I guess so. It's kind of scary. Pass. Okay.

Yeah. All right. I appreciate it. I don't like animals being mean. Scary, yeah. Skeletons. This one's pretty out of left field. Pass?

See, I say smash. I think it's time. Like, I think we're ready. It feels like we've really plumbed the depths of every other monster. This to me is kind of like sharks in that it seems like you can work around a skeleton pretty easily. Yeah. They're just bones, right?

Yeah. The only skeleton-based horror media I can think of is the Third Evil Dead Army of Darkness. Oh. A lot of skeletons. It's hard for me to believe a skeleton would be strong, I guess. No muscle. No muscle at all.

Yeah. Okay. I think smash, but only for the novelty of it. This is a potential smash. There's a lot of potential smash. Okay. A guy with a chainsaw. I like that you made a distinction between guy with the knife and guy with a chainsaw.

Huge difference. Yeah. Who had a chainsaw? Leather face? Leather face. Oh, God, that was scary. Yeah. Oh, that's really scary.

That's really scary, man. Yeah, I mean, that's something that was, like, haunted house. I mean, hey, also, technically, if you want to get into it, Evil Dead. Guy was a chainsaw. I know, but he was, like, the hero. There's also Mandy with Oh, what's that dude's name? Fucking

How to Get Burn, How to Get Burn. What's his name? How can I not remember his, Nicholas Cage? Mandy, big chainsaw fight. I don't know, Mandy. I guess Smash. Smash for sure. The novelty of it's kind of fun.

It's like not so, like it's so loud. You're not going to get me because it's so loud. I would hear it. I hear, I'm out of there like yesterday. Colts. This one's tricky. Yeah. Because it is really scary.

Super scary. Because you're talking about a group of people and a group of people can be pretty powerful. And what are you guys doing over there? Like you guys are doing it so wild over there. Like a lot of something always starts to freak me out. Uh-huh. You know, because like if it feels, you know, manageable, like if I can see it in front of me,

if it could all fit in a bathroom, I'm like, okay, I can handle that. Colts movies I'll hear about and hear a lot of buzz about and I'll be too scared to see a midsummer, number one. I'd love to see midsummer. I've heard it's really good. I don't want to be terribly frightened by it because it seems like it would be. Yeah. Oh. This is, the smash your pass gets hard with this because like.

Conceptually smash because it's good topic for this, but pass because it's too scary. Exactly. That is the way I feel too. Hey, if you want to pass because it's too scary, that's your, that's stanza. Yeah, past too scary. Yeah, past too scary. Vampires. Oh.

this is where you're like rule about vampires movies this is where your rule about time period yeah now vampires movies now i used i used to definitely smash right although i never saw any of the twilight films which makes me feel like i'm not a true vampire fan no i think you're probably okay but um but i would say pass now like if a vampire movie came out like i'm probably not gonna go see it or be curious about it. Okay. Interesting. I think you can do interesting stuff with it. I feel like I know vampires. Like what is what is there left to do with vampires? Well, I like when vampire stuff gets into the meat and potatoes kind of day to day like what it's going to be like to be a vampire. To live forever. There's a, I don't know if you've seen any of the

Mike Flanagan shows. He's done like a bunch of Netflix shows that have all been pretty good, like the haunting of Hill House. Is that what it's called? I don't know. Anyway, he did one called Midnight Mass about vampires that was really fucking good and super scary. I'd say smash. I think you can still do stuff with vampires. Haunted house. Smash. Yeah.

I like a haunted house. Me too. Crazy rooms. Again, it seems like just leave the house, but a lot of times the house makes it so you can't leave. Yes, I love when the house does that. Yeah, that's pretty good. It's really good. I also like, because there's always this element of like new family, new person comes to the house.

And they're like, oh, look at this charming, beautiful house. Why am I able to access this? This is outside of my means. Absolutely. And then the house, like, starts over again. Usually, like, the end of the movie starts with another person being like, whoa. Oh, free house. Love that shit, man.

I do. I love it. Witches. Oh, this one's tricky. Controversial. It hasn't been done well a lot of times. I feel like there's a lot of potential there. Yes.

Oh, my God, yes. But it's been done poorly so many. many times sometimes a movie doesn't start out as a witch's movie and then it turns out that it's been witches and that i kind of i am into i don't love the negative PR for witches and witchcraft in general but when you man the the the what is that robert eggers movie uh the witch man that slap's ass that movie is so terrifyingly scary i don't think i've seen that one oh man you should watch some scary movies man what's it going to take for us to start watching the scary I guess for our kids to sleep better.

Yeah. We can't have our waking hours disturbed in such a way. Yeah, I don't know, man. Where did you land on witches? Smash or pass? I'll say smash. If a witch movie came out, I would be curious about it. Very specific one here.

Beach that makes you old. I was curious about that movie. I never saw it. No. But the premise seemed enticing. I kind of never want to see it. But so I can be eternally fascinated by it. So in that way, I will say smash.

I like how directly it, like, plays with the fear of people have of getting old. Like, how aggressively it like, like, people are afraid of getting old. How could we make a horror movie around that? Well, let's just have a beach that makes you get old. Because you think beach and you're like, hell yeah, relaxation. Nope. This beach makes you old. It's like they made two lists.

Uh-huh. Like, here are things people like. Here are things people don't like. Yeah. Let's find a way to combine one from each list. They make a horror movie. I love that. Werewolves?

Pass. Okay. Yeah. It's hard to get. Weirwolves and vampires are hard, right? Because it's been around forever. You've seen a lot of different takes on it. I don't know what you can bring to the table at this point.

Yeah. There have been good werewolf movies. I just, I'm not, not my thing right now. Puppets? Puppets. Pass. Okay. The stuff that's like, it's for kids, but it's scary doesn't really do a lot for me.

Okay. So I'm just going to scratch out creepy. kids from the list because you know yeah you're not gonna get me with that i mean it used to work when i was a teenager but not now yeah the boy this is a movie called the boy creepy game no thanks curses whoa really huh it depends the curse is like the goal of the movie usually to like undo the curse yeah before you get killed by it i do like that i do like that what's the movie it follows it follows is a great curse movie drag me to hell that is a good one despite it's playing on some some romani stereotypes that are deeply problematic smash curses smash curses as a

concept because i like both of those movies a lot traps i did like the saw films they got too much for me actually yeah for sure yeah this is another one of those where like now pass but 20 years ago, it was smash. The one where it's like, in the first movie, it's like, there's a bunch of candles around and you're covered in lighter fluid, better be careful. It's like, that's crazy.

And then like by the fifth one, it's like, here is a whirling ring of blades and you got to get down in, climb on in there, but don't get, it's like, that's crazy. Here's a knife tornado. What the fuck are you? How did you build that?

Here's a laser collar. And when it activates, it cut your head in eight pieces. Yeah. That's fucking stupid, dude. The escape room element is appealing. If it is a trap where you could feasibly get out and not be like grievously, is grievously? Yeah, that's what we're.

Grievishly. I want to add an age. Anyway, if you could get out and not be super injured. Yeah. That seems like, oh, okay, I like traps. But if, like, you're definitely going to get injured and that's part of it. Like, if you make one whoopsie, your body explodes, that's fucking ridiculous. Like, you have to cut your arm off.

I don't love that. One of those movies, all the traps are stupid and unfair and they kill everyone. And at the end, it turns out that Jigsaw wasn't the one making them. It was another guy. And I, in the audience, was like, so you just wasted my fucking time. Not even the guy. Not even the fucking guy. That's crazy.

Yeah, I would pass on traps now, although I do like traps. I like traps. We need a refresh. We need a reboot. They already did reboot. I think they've rebooted Saw a couple times. They just need some more. Gentle touch.

Hammer. A hammer. Dopplegangers, last one. Oh, smash. Yeah, dude. I like that. So creepy. That is creepy.

That's me, but it's not? That's crazy. Us? Hell yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Vision of the body snatchers? That fucking scary, dude.

So scary. So scary. So scary. I love this. Like, this is a familiar thing that is supposed to make you comfortable, and it is very wrong. That's very scary. I'd smash for sure.

That's it, folks. Now you know where we stand, and we hope we've helped you guide you. Now go out and make the perfect Halloween and the perfect movie for us. Please. It's going to have skeletons with a knife. There's going to be two of them that are identical. And we get to eat peanut butter, chocolate, and Sour Patch Kids while we watch it. Thank you so much.

Thanks to Bowen and Augustus for these for our theme song. won't pay. We don't link to that in the episode description. We don't have any more tours for the year. We do have the upcoming candle nights show. If you go to bit.ly slash candle nights 2025, you can find a link where you can grab tickets to our first live candle nights performance in many, many moons. It's going to be December 6th at 7 p.m. Eastern time in our hometown of Huntington, West Virginia at the Keith Alby Theater. Tickets are going to go on, I mean, tickets are on sale now, actually, as you are hearing this. There's also going to be a virtual streaming version of the show that we're going to record and put up on December 19th. You can buy virtual tickets for that as well. We're going to be in the chat during the sort of like VOD launch of that, which you'll be able to watch until January 3rd. And again, tickets for that are available now. And all the benefits from the show will be donated to Harmony House, which is an amazing organization in Huntington that seeks to end homelessness in the Huntington area. through permanent housing and supportive service programs.

We've worked with them so much in the past, and they truly do need a lot of help right now, as many services that they rely on have completely fallen through. You may be aware of certain federal funding situations that have a fucking nightmare. So, yeah, are we doing the show in person, December 6 in Huntington? Come see us, bit.ly, slash candle nights 2025, and we got some new merch up in the merch store over at macroymerch.com.

Thanks so much for listening. Have a spooky, I mean, we'll have another episode up before Halloween. What are we even going to do next one? This weird lame duck Halloween episode we're going to have next week. Thanksgiving. I guess. I don't know that I want to. All right.

Bye. Maximum fun. Maximum fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.