Wonderful! - Wonderful! 62: Dip Crimes

Episode Date: December 5, 2018

Rachel’s favorite natural phenomenon! Griffin’s favorite strange commercial desire! Rachel’s favorite ice invention! Griffin’s favorite rolling game! Music: "Money Won't Pay" by bo en and Augustus - https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoya MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hello, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is wonderful. Star of stage and screen, Rachel McElroy, joining me in the studio today. Oh, gosh. Star of stage and ear, Rachel McElroy, y'all. Oh, gosh. There is no living with her now that she's had the taste.

I make Griffin applaud for me anytime I enter a room. It's true. She gives me a face, and it's a very stinky face. into a room it's true she gives me a face and it's a very stinky face um that is to say uh please please clap which is a funny jeb bush joke listen that year that whole year was extraordinarily bad the 2016 one of the worst i think we can all agree that the jeb bush please clap thing is still pretty freaking great but yeah that's rachel she's just a real um just a real hound you know for the spotlight i got a taste i got in the taste and now i know do you like the taste you have devoted your whole life to performance yeah that's a problem um i live

for the taste that's not true i don't particularly like the taste but the taste the taste. That's not true. I don't particularly like the taste, but the taste puts food on the table that I can taste in other ways. That's my preferred taste. Yeah. Thank you all. I hope you all enjoyed our live show that we put up last week. We enjoyed it.

It was very, very fun. And I can't stop thinking about doing it in other cities and how much it will be infinitely magnitudes more difficult because i don't know any city maybe maybe huntington but like i don't know any city as much as austin like if we go like to minneapolis i i don't know we can just talk about things we like about the central time zone we could do milwaukee and i could do like the the the bit from wayne's world that's about as good as i'm gonna pull um you know any small wonder i do yes what is it uh one we have selected all of uh the items we will be purchasing for christmas oh that's good and it is what december

fourth yeah we're pairing down a bit we have never finished this early and i am super excited about it me too because it allows you to do more stuff than just like what can i get in two days on amazon exactly which is exciting like there's some gifts in there i'm really excited i love y'all know i love this season and i love giving gifts i love trying to think the best, the most thoughtful gift that they're going to, you know, I want to see that spark. You know what I mean? I want to see that. He went to Jared's spark. I want that Jared's spark.

Super Smash Brothers Ultimate comes out on Friday. My favorite character I'm looking forward to the most is Jared's spark. He's got this new move that's so great um that's my small wonder holy shit super smash super smash ultimate every character that's ever been a smash brothers game plus like a dozen new characters it's like every menu up top is gonna be it's gonna be but you have to like unlock them all through like this campaign story mode you love unlocking things i love unlocking shit that's good my other small wonder is i've been trying to think of the best way to say this my favorite small wonder is when

the when the dentist is done you mean like you're you're locked away and finish yeah when he says, I'll finish. When I hear my dentist, I go to a place here in Austin I like. It's probably the longest I've gone to a dentist. Do you want to buzz market him? No. Mostly because our fans will go there, and I don't want anybody to.

I don't want his hand. Tell me about his teeth. Tell me about Griffin Mack or his teeth. I don't want to personally know any mouths that his hand has also been inside. And maybe that's petty of me. But I was watching some West Wing for some reason. It was a panic choice. Can I say, the fact that you get to do that makes me so jealous.

Watch television? There is nothing on in my dentist's office. It's awesome. And there's a TV screen that is on this big 360 lever from the ceiling it looks awesome it looks like gladys from the from the portal games but anyway um when they're doing the stuff in your mouth and you're watching the tv and you're like my hands always get so sore because i realize i'm just like i'm trying to keep my face calm and so i'm just like clutching my hands together yeah i guess i don't love the dentist but um when he says oh all done that sense of relief of just like yes yes yeah i know that's a good one no more also he novocaine me he only need one shot this time it was so good a lot of time it

takes more i got a hearty mouth i think you go first this week can i can i just share another small wonder just real quick? I wish you would. Just real, real quick. I like small wonders. Our wedding anniversary is this week. It is. It's coming up soon. It's not exactly a small wonder, but I don't want to devote a whole segment to it.

Oh, shit. It comes out the same day as Smash. I know what we're doing all day. Oh, jeez. You want to unlock another year of our marriage? I'm excited too we're going to get some fancy sushi it's going to be awesome

it's our five year that's a big one you know what the present is for five year wood you've been also doing some research I've been doing some research too I did I thought for about 14 seconds bought you a canoe well could I make

could I whittle her something that was literally my thought i was like can i whittle her something meaningful bought you a grand piano and then my only thought was how do you it would have to be pretty short if you whittle it out of like a i only know how to get sort of planks you know what i mean like i don't know where to go to get a big block of wood that i can whittle something out so i gave up immediately i bought you a an old-timey schoolhouse oh boy babe put it in the backyard that'll be cute i was trying to think of stuff made of wood and i got you got went to old-timey schoolhouse i said boat okay like canoe yeah and then next thing came to mind old-timey school put all back. I'll do coyote school for coyotes and raccoons and owls.

We heard an owl that was like outside our window all night. So loud. It was so cool. We have to start doing our wonders. Okay. Okay. Now I know we've talked about fall, but I want to get a little granular if that's okay.

Okay. I'm gonna talk about pretty leaves. Okay. So we've talked about fall we've talked about jumping in a big pile of leaves but this is less how they feel specifically about the color this is the visual sort of element because i would say across the country we've we've had a real a real pretty show of leaves this year yes especially here in austin where usually it's just like green green green green green green dead, green, green, dead. Exactly.

Now we're getting some color, some pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And I did a little research on how that happens. Do you know? I have no fucking idea. Right? I didn't either. Like, why do they change colors? It's not every tree.

I know that. Pine trees do not change colors. It'd be fucking wild if they did. Wouldn't that be wild? Look at that red pine tree. That probably exists now that I've said that. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I didn't even think about that. That would be some alien world shit. I'd be into that. wild look at that red pine tree that probably exists now that i said that um yeah there would

be some think about that be some alien world shit i'd be into that uh so i found this great article in the washington post that really like succinctly kind of describes how it happens okay so photosynthesis which i'm sure you're familiar with uh-huh it's where the plant eats the light to turn it into fuel for its stem. It turns water and the carbon dioxide in the air into sugar. That's why when you eat a flower, it's so sweet like candy. The chlorophyll in the plants absorbs the sunlight, and it happens to be green. Right.

I'm with you so far. I do know this stuff. the sunlight and it happens to be green right i'm with you so far i do know this stuff so as the winter approaches the sun stays up for less time each day which makes it hard for the chlorophyll to keep the trees sugared up trees stop producing new chlorophyll because doing so would be a waste of energy and soon there's none left so so they go into like hibernation mode well there's less light and so they stop producing it because they know that they won't get the sustenance they need. Okay. You know, like the chlorophyll is dependent on the sunlight and there's less sunlight.

And so they're like, well, let's just stop making the chlorophyll because there's no sun for us. I'm with you. So chlorophyll usually steals the spotlight. It's like the most dominant color. It's a very bright green. the spotlight it's like the most dominant color very bright green but leaves also contain other pigments uh which are like the ones that make carrots orange and egg yolks yellow beta carotene is that what makes carrots oh man i'm not i i just did the leaves i'm sorry so you're telling me that basically the leaves are always yellow and red and other shit.

Yeah, but you can't see it. You can't see it because of the chlorophyll. The chlorophyll is getting that sunlight and just monopolizing. When the sunlight is gone, that's when we start to see the other colors. So the exact coloring is a mix of red, orange, and yellow pigments. Environmental conditions change how much there is of each, such as sun exposure, soil moisture, and temperature. Eventually, the frost will kill off all the pigments but tannin, which is brown. So that's why the leaves turn brown.

Okay. The very... All the leaves are brown. Do you know that song? Uh-huh. Is that the zombies? No. Who is it?

Mamas and the Papas? Ah, you're going to have to look it up. I don't know. I think it's the Mamas and the Papas, but go ahead. So the very cells of the leaf start to break down as well, which makes them fragile and dry. And then eventually they'll fall. Okay. I figured that that's why they got fragile and dry is because of death.

So the reason that we had such a beautiful fall is because Austin in September and October got almost 16 inches of rain. Which was great for some of the people in Austin and very, very bad for some others. Yes. Which that in combination with a cooler than average September and October Kind of kept the leaves around long enough for the days to get short. And so we got some color. Two questions. Okay.

Mrs. Tree expert. Oh gosh, this is all I have on the page. Well, then just say some stuff that sounds right. All right, all right, all right. Basically, when you see a bunch of pops of color on trees, it's because the trees are suffocating, basically, which kind of ruins it a little bit for me.

They're like, getting pretty hungry. I know it's, I'm down here like, ooh, look at all the pretty autumnal colors. This really makes my earthen-toned sweater really pop. But the tree is like, I'm dying, I'm dying, help. You know what I like to think about? What? If I were to make an analogy,

I would say it's almost like the trees are going to sleep. Oh. And you know how at night- Your hair falls out. Your hair changes color and falls out of your fucking head. Yeah. I love that when that happens. You know how you develop a routine in which you don't have to pee in the middle of the night?

Okay, yes. The trees are just holding it until the spring second question okay how come plants like a flower if i plant a flower outside and then winter comes it dies and it's gone how come a tree doesn't just like fully die in the winter it waits until spring and then all of its hair grows back well they can hold a lot of water in those big old roots you know oh so they just like they go way down into the ground where there's more water the tree bunker okay so less sunlight but you know the water's still there i love. I love these bright colors. What's the most best colorful tree stuff you've ever seen? I mean, I love a red.

No, I mean like, where have you seen the best trees? Did they pop off in St. Louis? I imagine it did. It did, yeah. We got a good fall in St. Louis. I mean, we got to see some good fall in Japan when we went. We did. Went in October. I tell you, West Virginia's got some good fall in Japan when we went. We did. Went in October.

I tell you, West Virginia's got some pretty banging fall. Yeah. Pretty much the most banging. Hey, can I tell you about my first thing? Yes. My first thing's weird. Okay. I don't know why it's my first thing.

My first thing is outdoor equipment slash camping tech is what I have written down here. This is interesting to me. Can I say why? Yes. You're not a camper. Thank you, Rachel. Yes, that is the first thing that I have down here on the paper. I think anybody who has listened to any three episodes of any podcast I've ever done in any sequence probably have enough clues to put together that i am not an avid outdoors man

can i also say something i don't really much like camping either so i'm okay with that i like being outdoors i don't like sleeping on the ground i i this was one of my last points in this segment but maybe i should put it up front okay i i think i wish I was more of an outdoorsman because on paper, I like it. Uh, hiking just conceptually, I think is fucking great, right?

Like you're going out there and connecting with nature. There is something deep down inside me that really grooves on that. And I've gone on some great hikes when we went up into the mountains outside of Denver and Colorado and went to that, like, um, like a mountaintop, uh, like little lake, uh, while I was I was at like a bachelor's party out there. It was one of the best hikes, probably the best hike

I've ever been on. It was gorgeous. And I had a great time. And then I got very, very, very, very, very, very, very tired. You probably thought I was going to say hi. That is also true. So like, I like that, but it's not like my my favorite thing i'm never like itching to do it and yet oh also last time i went camping i got diarrhea so bad i thought i was gonna die and so i swore it off but there it is but and yet whenever i'm confronted with an advertisement for outdoor equipment slash camping tech there is a that part inside of me that lights up whenever I desire something. Yeah. Lights up. And I don't, I'm not entirely certain why that is.

It's like when we went to REI, you remember? When we went to REI, I thought I was going to fucking dissolve. We got like a sun hat for Henry that he has never worn. No. Just because we couldn't leave that store without purchasing something. I bought a coffee tumbler. It's that one right there. Yeah. I had a coffee tumbler.

I just felt like if I didn't buy that, I was going to buy an ice pick or something. Ice axe. See, I don't even know what this shit is called. It's not an ice pick. But yeah, fancy weatherproof jackets, a fancy multi-tool, a nice big palatial tent um i want them i want them very badly when i see them i want all of them when i was a kid

there was a christmas where like the thing i wanted most uh out of everything was this little multi-tool that had like a little telescope and a flashlight and a laser pointer on it and a little waterproof sort of uh compartment and a magnifying glass uh and i saw it in like a catalog in like a magazine i was like that's the fucking coolest thing i've ever seen i want that so bad and i i did get it and then i never used it for its intended purpose i had some fun with the laser pointer because it was you you know, the 90s. But, yeah. So this is a thing that has lived inside of me for a very long time.

One of my favorite books when I was younger was Hatchet. Oh, yeah. Which is basically all about the acquisition of better outdoor equipment slash camping tech. Yeah. I mean, is it something primal? Like, is it some kind of like hunter-gatherer instinct i i would hope it's not that right because i don't necessarily subscribe to that no and that doesn't feel right for like your personality in general yes but specific

whenever i see shit like this i want to get it because like the idea of having a large collection of it when it would be useful is very cool. But on the flip side, hatchet wise, it would also be cool to just have just to find my one tool, my one outdoor tool that I can just wander into the wilderness with just this one thing and like get shit done. Maybe it's a hatchet. Maybe Gary Paulson had it fucking figured out. I think it's not like prepper instincts either

like it's certainly it's certainly not that for me i think if if if i were to try and diagnose this yes i think it's because that stuff like when you load up people who go like backpacking people who hike the appalachian trail i know people like that who like have to figure out every gram of weight that they carry with them in their backpacks and like put themselves through horrific, horrific like physical situations to go on this like life changing journey. The stuff you take with you on that is the closest thing to a real life like modern day rpg inventory that you're basically gonna get i feel like okay i see the cool you know multi-tool acts in on on my facebook advertisement or whatever the fuck i see that i think like i think like man what what are the what are the stats on that bad boy can i tell you my theory yes i think it's it's like another room in your house and there's all this stuff that goes with it.

You get kind of used to seeing lamps and chairs and couches. And when you go to a store, it's kind of a lot of the same thing. But when you're looking at a tent or a lantern, it's like, I don of the same thing but when you're looking at like a tent or like a like a lantern it's like i don't see this every day yeah like this is it's like a whole new realm of accessories that don't exist in your daily life and so there's like novelty to that's for sure that for sure like that's that's how the human brain works right yeah i think i think like the biggest thing is that they when i see the cool multi-tool axe that folds out into a fucking tent and also like distills water. I see that and I think I think I see it as like a window into a parallel world where I am a big burly mountain man or or if not like an alternate reality like this reality with a bit of work.

if not like an alternate reality, like this reality with a bit of work. No, that's gotta be part of it too. If I get that, if I get the ax that turns into a tent and distills water and also scares bears away, because it's got a picture of the only thing that bears are afraid of, um,

which is, uh, you know, a guy, a bigger bear, a guy, a fairy also, he's more a friend to the bit.

Anyway. Um, I see that. And I think like, I could, if I get that, maybe I could be the outdoorsman, which is probably the fucking intended use case for these advertisements. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure. But God, I can't help it, man.

Anything, anything I see, I see any outdoor tech and I think, fuck, that looks good. And I don't think I've given up on the twist where I will become a big burly outdoorsman. I think it's still coming. Not this year. Yeah, I mean, maybe Henry will want to become an outdoorsman and you'll want to support that journey. Yes, but I will be struggling to stay afloat because I'll be like, hey, show me how to tie a rope

and I'll be like, oh yeah, sure. Google how to fucking tie a rope. All right, watch this YouTube video. Actually, you go over there. Those berries look edible. Go get those. I'm gonna watch this YouTube video. Actually, you go over there. Those berries look edible. Go get those. I'm going to watch this YouTube video. Hey, can I steal you away?

What's a song that you can fit uh into? I know. I'm having a hard time right now. Last week, I just played the actual Home Improvement stinger. I know. And there were people in the Facebook group that had never heard it before. I really liked it. Fuck it.

Let's just do that again maybe i'll you know what i have so much like music equipment and now software oh you could i could just fucking produce remix remix it every week a new different remix of the home improvement i would need to i would love to see the sheet music because i imagine it's just you know it's some uh what quarter notes going down the the the what's it called the staff and it's just going down down down down but then the uh would be like a bunch of extremely close like 64th notes like going up like microtones and shit i love it it's beautiful hey we got some jumbotrons too their first one here is uh for kale and it's from josh who says hello my beautiful bean you are so i don't know i'm saying this in a movie trailer voice

hello my beautiful bean you are so wonderful the last't know why I'm saying this in a movie trailer voice. Hello, my beautiful bean. You are so wonderful. The last three years of my life have been truly amazing, and it's all because of you. You inspire me daily, and I love you so, so much. Living with you has been an absolute joy, and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us. Yee-haw. That's so good, Griffin. It's the nose surgery I got, I think. Okay.

I get comments all the time like, who, your voice changed a lot. I think it did and it lets me get down to these registers like a Batman. Hey, can I try? Yeah. This next message is for Steven with a V. It is from Teresa.

Happy birthday to my best bud. Mayor Pete couldn't come celebrate this year, but our fave McElroys are here. Thanks for sharing a home with me. Hope we're thriving when this airs. There's no one I'd rather travel, eat fun foods, jam to Hamilton, snuggle with than you. Remember you're halfway to 50, but at least KH3 is finally coming out. I love you. And now it's time for everyone's favorite game show.

Rachel, what does KH3 stand for? KH3. Mm-hmm. Do you want a hint? Yes. Winnie the Pooh is in it and so is sephiroth oh kingdom of hearts three close enough fifty dollars so hey if you want to get jumbotrons on the show we are about to put up for raffle uh spots on our show for the first half of 2019 there are a lot of people who come out for this

way way more than we are able to um help because we have only so many slots on our show uh so we are going to be doing a drawing and so people are going to be chosen at random uh and you'll be able to purchase a jumbotron uh that will go up on the first half of 2019 if you get selected. Just to let you know, in the past, we have invited businesses to submit Jumbotrons. This year, we will not be doing that. No, I'll be doing my personal shows. Yeah, we will encourage you to submit your personal messages starting December 5th. Listeners can head to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron drawing to enter a drawing to purchase one of the limited jumbotron spots on wonderful now i know you're wondering hey that's today maybe they'll put it

up late in the day who knows maybe i'll email maximum fun about this literally right as soon as we finish recording the episode well and the drawings the drawing's open until December 21st. Yes, oh, that's a good point. The good thing about a drawing is that your name is in a hat, regardless of whether you did it today. Or a goblet. Or tomorrow. A goblet of fire. Or the day after that.

Throw your personal, throw your inside joke to your D&D crew into the goblet of fire. You're going on a journey I can't join. I know. I'm so sorry. That's okay. I'll read Lord of the Rings to you while you're asleep or something. If you have questions,

you can email Daniel at MaximumFun.org. And again, that's MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron Drawing. Hey, it's Janet Varney of the JV Club podcast, and I am so excited to be joining Maximum Fun. If you're not yet familiar with the JV Club, it's a podcast with me and some of my favorite women, and in the summer, men, as we explore the highs and lows of our terrible teenage years into our adult lessons. For example, hear about Alison Brie's humiliating moment at a gymnastics

competition, experience the shame of a knocked out tooth with Jamila Jamil, or drop in as Jon Hamm imagines what would happen if Bambi met Godzilla. So join me and all my once awkward, often still awkward friends every Thursday by subscribing to the JV Club on MaximumFun.org. MaximumFun.org. What is your second thing? I need it now. I need it right now.

I'm 99% sure that it's going to be great. Will you please give me your second thing? It's the Zamboni. Fuck yes! Yes! Yes! Do you feel this energy between us right now? Rachel and I just had an electric moment. Do you want to stop recording for a minute and explore explore it no let's talk about the

zamboni but you talking about the zamboni isn't gonna no pun intended cool me down um you want to know what's funny the word zamboni yes there's so many good parts I don't know what's your favorite part of the word Zamboni? Is it the zam or is it the bony? Because bony is so great. You can't take one without the other, I don't think. It's true. I don't think I could pick a part of that.

It's so true. Can I tell you something else that's funny? Yes. I had no idea where the name came from. Probably dude's name, huh? Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah. You know it has to be that.

Nobody would ever look at this ice smoothing machine and just be like, you know what I'm going to call that? Booze-a-bow. Now let's try again. Man's-a-boo? Because my knowledge of geography was so limited, I really thought maybe there was like an Italian city. A Zamboni. Called Zamboni. No, there's not.

But there probably was a man named Zamboni Johnson. There was actually. Frank Joseph Zamboni Jr. Fuck yes. It's such a good powerful name for a man too. Can you imagine like for any person it's a powerful name to say hello i am zamboni to say that out loud there probably are zambonis walking around today that can say like what's your name for sure i am zamboni there are for sure fucking great uh

so frank zamboni uh his family in 1940 opened an ice rink uh and it's an ice rink that they continue to own today so there are definitely zambonis still walking around that's great uh so he he kind of dipped his toe into the patent arena uh because he invented a piping system for the rink that eliminated rippling. We've got to explore this. Because yes, of course, I also don't think I would look at a Zamboni and be like, that's somebody's first invention. It's perfect. There had to be a few dry runs.

Also, we didn't even consider this. Is it kind of wild to name your big ice smoothing machine after your own last name if i if i invented a personal helicopter that you could just hold on to like a drone that would fly you from place to place and it became the dominant form of transit i wouldn't call it a mackleroy because that's wild to me but zamboni is such a good word he had it it's i'm not judging i know i did think about that of like if you invented something and your name became synonymous with it yeah like what qualities would it need to have to make you feel comfortable with it and don't take my personal flight drone away from

idea away from me i'm gonna mail this podcast episode to myself uh okay so he obtained a patent in 1946 for his rink technology. The pipes thing to prevent rippling? Do you understand what that means? I am not exactly sure. It was... Is it pipes inside of the ice itself? It was common that when you laid down pipes to make an ice rink,

to keep the rink frozen, it would often cause ripples. Oh, I see. So the pipes would be cold to keep the water froze i don't know i don't know anything about old you know 1940s ice rink construction i don't know anything about 2010s ice rink construction uh if any listeners minored in ice rink construction if you could reach out to us and let us know that's not true i watched how a curling course was made and i imagine that um uh ice rinks are similar so in 1949 he took a task which had previously involved five men uh and 90 minutes uh and turned it into a one-man 15-minute

job uh by creating the ice resurfacer uh zamboni's a way better name than that ice resurfacer makes me feel like i'm in school or something uh the initial machine included a hydraulic cylinder from an a20 attack plane a chassis from an oil derrick a jeep engine a wooden bin to catch the shavings in a series of pulleys fuck yes that is That's so much awesome shit. When World War II ended, was it just like, well, we got all this shit lying around. I think so. Let's invent some wild stuff.

I think so. Yeah. I love the Jeep engine in combination with the cylinder from the attack plane. That's the most American vehicle. I would have a thought of like why don't we just take a car and put skis on it you know that's rachel again this we emailed we mailed this to ourselves do not take rachel's ski car away from her uh so um frank wasn't thinking that he was

gonna make a whole business out of this he was really just focused kind of on his own ice rink. But then the Chicago Blackhawks placed an order. And it just kind of grew from there. Well, yeah. But you fixed something so important. At the same time, though. The fact that it was five men for 90 minutes previously. But supply and demand how many

ice rinks are there do you have this information i have an uh information about how many zambonis are produced a year i will be so fucking curious to hear this because it will be equivalent to the number of ice rinks that exist around the world and i can't imagine that number is huge well they last for a long time sure uh so only about 200 are made a year that's still a lot more than i thought it was gonna be uh but since 2010 the zamboni family is pulling in 20 million in estimated annual sales from two so each one of them costs hold on a hundred a hundred thousand no way well no so here's the thing. So the most inexpensive models are around 10,000,

but the most expensive are in the low six figures. So it makes sense, I think. I kind of, I guess. And I guess the fancy ones are for like NHL teams and like Olympic prep. And then the cheaper ones are for like probably the place I played curling at. So he took his legacy a little bit further.

In the 1970s, he invented machines to remove water from outdoor artificial turf surfaces, to remove paint stripes from the same surfaces, to roll up and lay down artificial turf in domed stadiums. And then in 1983, an automatic edger to remove ice buildup from the edges of rinks. This is a Zamboni 6. It's smoothed down the edges of the ice rink. I'm just picturing like it's always the same vehicle, but just with different attachments. Different nozzles.

Yeah. So like if he's going to be rolling up AstroTurf, it's just like a Zamboni, but like with a little twister on the end. I'm envisioning the car that they drive in the middle of Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory that like the bubbles are coming out of and it's really yucky and it has like all that stuff coming off of it. It's fun to use your imagination sometimes. So do you want to know how Zamboni works? I imagine it puts hot water down and then immediately like mops it up and polishes you're close okay that is part of it but also it's a blade ranging from 77 to 96 inches that cuts the ice oh interesting and it's a very like minimal amount it's like 1 32nd of an inch. But does it use water as well?

I'm getting there, Griffin. Oh boy, I'm just so excited to get to the water. It's my favorite part of the Zamboni. So this little process of removing the small amount of ice can get about 60 cubic feet of ice from a rink over the course of just one resurfacing. Jesus. It moves about nine miles an hour. The machine collects the shavings generated by the blade and sends the shavings into the machine's snow tank a wash tank directs water

to a conditioner which rinses the ice a front squeegee collects the dirty water and then the machine dispenses warm water through the holes at the back where a towel smooths it as it freezes along the surface the snow tank inside of the zamboni that smooths it as it freezes along the surface. The snow tank inside of the Zamboni, it carves up the ice and sucks it into the snow tank. Do they then take that out into the lobby? Make snow cones. Make snow cones out of it. I'm almost 100% sure.

Zambonis, if you had to guess how much they weigh in pounds, what would you say? Can I use tons? I don't know how to convert pounds to tons. Okay. I'm going to say 4,500 pounds. Between 7,000 and 11,000 pounds. It's a big old boy, isn't it? It's a big boy.

Absolute unit, this one. Mm-hmm. So I don't know how to close this segment other than just say I love them. I always get really excited at the end of every period in a hockey game. You see that little Zamboni go around. And you just think all about, like, who's that man that's just driving it? Luckiest guy in the world. You don't need a special license or certification to drive a Zamboni. You'd probably be drunk off your fucking rocker.

Apparently it doesn't handle very well. I imagine, yes. Which is not surprising. It's an 11,000 pound monster. I got this idea because I was listening to Stop Podcasting Yourself, and they were talking about Sambonis and how there, I guess there are some ice rinks that will like let people ride on them as like a special treat in between periods. I like that.

I approve of that. Can I tell you my second thing yes it's gonna be quick okay uh my second thing is katamari domicey i feel like you know about this just through the through the cloud through the ether of nerd shit i mean i know about it because you've talked about it okay not on this show though before right i don't think so if you're not familiar katamari domici is a game series uh that has sort of spanned different consoles it first came out in 2004 on the playstation 2 is katamari domici uh and since then has come out in a bunch of different places and this month it's coming out on switch with a new game that i'm super super excited about

if you've never played you are a little guy I think you're like five centimeters tall. You got a little ball called a Katamari. You roll it around into stuff to stick it to your ball. And using that process, your ball gets bigger. The bigger ball gets, the bigger stuff you can roll up. So, and that process can expand infinitely. So like the most satisfying part of playing any Katamari Damacy game is like the level where you start out in like a kid's playroom and you're rolling up dice and pencils and push pins and coins and then all of a sudden you're rolling up you know traffic cones and dogs and then you're rolling up people and bikes and then cars and then buildings and then mountains and then planets and then like the whole galaxy you're rolling up and your big ball it's so satisfying is there a way to win or lose this game

yes it's actually kind of a punishing game sometimes um the the the general hook of the game usually is and i'll use like the first katamari domicey is like the the boilerplate for this uh you are the son of the king of all cosmos uh who is a character who's kind of a lazy, larger than life dude who has destroyed all of the celestial bodies in existence. And it's up to you to remake them by rolling up shit on earth and then firing it into the sky

so it can become a constellation. But there'll be levels where it's like, you have 10 minutes to get your ball up to 50 centimeters. And so you gotta kind of hurry and figure out like your path through like which stuff you're going to roll up first. So you can, and sometimes there's like a barricade between like you and a door that leads outside

that you have to be like, you know, 30 centimeters before you can even make it out there. So it'll open up like new access points into the level. It's very satisfying. I really, I really liked the game. It's from a director named Keita Takahashi who has made i think a couple other games and all of them are very strange and i really enjoy when this game

came out in 2004 uh there was like no buzz about it whatsoever like at least none that i can remember and then it ended up being like a like the definition of a sleeper hit well it's hard to kind of pitch if you think about it. Yeah, yeah. I think Kotaku actually just ran a story about the ridiculous process Keita Takahashi had to go through to get Namco Bandai to make this game. Because they didn't even have a formalized process for pitching games from people working in the development field for them. And so he had to go through jump through all these hoops because he believed in his game design so much and when he

had to give that pitch i can't imagine it was anything other than you're a little guy with a ball and you roll up stuff to make it bigger uh and yet like that process i find so like meditative and like enjoyable um and there's also like the the original like game the like there is a message in it about like mass consumption and how we have way way too much shit than we need because you like look around a level and it's just full of stuff uh and and so there's like an element of of that as well um i just really like the game i like the aesthetic of it like everything moves around like it's on like a slot car track. Like people move around in like specific little cycles and aren't very well animated.

So when you roll them up, you feel like you're just like rolling up big toys or something like that. It's very bright and colorful. And if you want to get like really serious about it, there are like leaderboards because you can try and make the biggest ball in 10 minutes. Or there are levels where you can only roll up bears and so you go around rolling up like little teddy bears and little gummy bears and that's good yeah and then like you're rolling up actual bears but if you roll over anything that's not a bear the level ends immediately and that's the that's the size of the thing that you have made uh it gets really clever about it uh stuff like that sometimes uh yeah i've always really really enjoyed these games and i uh used to get like that sometimes uh yeah i've always really really

enjoyed these games and i uh used to get like super super into them i don't think i don't ever played like the ios game there's an ios game that as far as i understand is not necessarily like the other uh katamari games uh the other thing i really really like about it that i think really makes it stand out is the music is so good i don't know if i've ever played you any of the music from the games but like it has uh as strange as the game is it's like soundtrack is just as eclectic like it has these like swinging tunes with like lounge singers singing over it for their for their like main and then it'll have like you know soft sweet gentle accordion music as you're just like floating through the stars it's all like it all is a very very cohesive like uh presentation for like the weirdest fucking thing you've ever seen and i just love like i think it is genuinely difficult to make like a new video game that doesn't like retread any of the ground of any video game that came

before it just by like law of large numbers There've been so many video games that have explored so many different things that you can do and watching a game come out that like has nothing to do with any game that has ever come before it. It is so unique. And then that game became like a huge success. Like I can't imagine how satisfying that must be as like a creator of that game of just like, yeah, that's my new genre of games i just gave birth to that everybody loves and it's rolling up stuff game um i just i

really like it i feel like anybody who creates stuff whatever it is like aspires to do that one day um yeah it's just incredibly inventive like there's so many games that have kind of a similar construction and that one is just so unique and many games that have kind of a similar construction, and that one is just so unique. And there's something also kind of timeless about it. I could go back and play the original PlayStation Katamari Damacy right now, and even though I played it a lot when it first came out, the act of rolling up small stuff so you can roll up bigger stuff,

that never, ever gets old. It's interesting to me that you brought this and you also talked about smash brothers at the top oh i was thinking about like buying outdoor gear and how like i don't i don't need that stuff um no i was thinking more about the uh the diversity of your interests yeah like lots of different stuff um listen we're probably gonna do besties like here in a couple weeks or so i need to save up of my video game talking juice for then. Okay. You want me to ring out what I just got?

Yeah, please. Gamer fuel. Load up. I regret immediately. The Mountain Dew protein powder. Oh, was that a thing? Because it sounds like it could have been. It's like fire in my eyes.

So thanks to Bowen and Augustus for the use of our theme song, Money Won't Pay. Hey, can we hear some listeners? Yeah, I want to thank Bowen and Augustus first. Okay. I'll find a link to that in the episode description. You want some listener submissions? Yeah. Got one here.

It's from Madeline or perhaps Madeline. I apologize. They say, one thing I love is that every year from November 1st to New Year's, my family burns scented candles that smell like firewood, a fir tree, and fresh winter air. I look forward to it every year and the holidays just aren't the holidays without them. Oh my gosh. We are like 24 hours on candle. A lot of it is thanks to listener Erica Huff, who does Wickhabit candles. I'd recommend them.

They have a whole Stardew Valley line that really- Well, I think she may have made those special for us. Oh, well, never mind. They're off menu. Here's one from Julie who says, something I find wonderful is when you have the exact right amount of dip for whatever you're dipping. Yes, Julie, preach. Oh, I love to space it out so that that works out exactly that way.

I don't like that. I don't like, I don't want to. No? I don't want to like. I like to ration. I don't want to like, I want to indulge with every bite. Dipping is such an indulgent is there a dip out there that is like not just an indulgent little maybe salsa um anyway uh julie

says whether it's salsa for your chips or ketchup for your fries finishing off the dip and the dippable at the same time is the most beautiful feeling it's so this may be the most relatable yes submission you know what it made me think of immediately? What's that? Dunkaroos. Yes. You remember Dunkaroos? Dunkaroos are the like, a lot of like the prepackaged candies and sweet stuff. You know what? Get comfortable.

Dunkaroos, you dip it first. And I'm including like the snackable, like a little, it would have like a little cheese packet. Handy snacks. Handy snacks that had like a little red like plank that you would scoop onto the crackers. The cheese would run out for me by like cracker two. And I don't know if I was like being a big cheese boy

or something. You were, you were. The Dunkables, Dunkamals, Dunkamals. What are they called? Dunkaroos. Dunkaroos. Were those in the shape of kangaroos? I think so, yes.

I would be the chocolate. There was never enough dip in these is what I'm saying. I'm trying to get to, I guess. Fun dip, exact opposite problem. Yeah, way too much dip. Way too much dip. Fun dip, Dunkaroos, meat in the middle. We have given away a lot of business ideas.

Fun dip for me would always go like this i just lost my baseball game i bought it at the concession stand for a dollar yeah the first part is so important i just lost my baseball game by so many runs yeah i go over the concession stand i give them the dollar they give me the fun dip i dip it in i lick it it's great it's the best it's just straight up sugar i mean yes i do it a second time it's still pretty good although now i'm having trouble getting the dust to stick to the stick and then i do it like three or four more times and then i'm so done with it that i just eat the stick outright and then i guess i'm just like pouring the dust into my mouth but then i hate that and i throw it away in the garbage can my mouth is watering talking about fun dip. I have deep, deep memories of,

hey, our third thing here. It's from Mark who says, I'm a bartender and it is infinitely amusing to me that the guy behind Tito's Vodka's last name is Beverage. I know it's not spelled the same way as beverage, but I like when people's last names are what they do because what are the odds? This is B-E-V-E-R-I-D-G-E.

Wow, I didn't know that. I didn't know that either. Tito's Vodka is probably my favorite. It's my favorite spirit, I think. It's a Texas original. Texas original, it goes with anything. It's my favorite spirit. Thanks everyone, I guess.

Thank you to Maximum Fun for having us on the network. Great shows on this network. Welcome for having us on the network. Great shows on this network. Welcome, uh, JV Club to the network. What a big fish Jesse reeled in this time. How great is that? I love, I love Janet Varney. I love that podcast. Janet Varney is the absolute best. Uh, I am, I'm very excited to be on the same network as her and you should be excited to go listen to every episode of of jv club yeah it's all about um people um speaking to their

teen years uh and it's it's famous people it's people that you're already interested in we kind of just did that with my whole dipping segment i I feel like. Yeah, you should go on her show and just talk about concession candy. I'll talk about eating the tacos Lunchables. Oh, were you one of those kids? I remember very vividly eating one of those at a petting zoo at a church trip and having to go lie down in the van after. We were at a petting zoo that was modeled after Noah's Ark, and I climbed up on top of the boat and I ate my tacos Lunchables We were at a petting zoo that was modeled after Noah's Ark.

And I climbed up on top of the boat and I ate my tacos Lunchables. And pretty much instant, before I even finished eating it, I think, it had sort of drilled down into the mantle of my gully works. Oh, little Griffin. Yeah. So I think that's it. And I think I just want to stop the episode because talking about my Christian Petting Zoo diarrhea experience has really emotionally exhausted me. I'm just going to walk away from this one. Mario! Working on it! Mario! Working on it! Mario!

Working on it! Mario! Working on it! Mario! MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. Welcome everyone to the live wrestling spectacular in Los Angeles. So far the world's most boring wrestling podcast has been destroying the competition.

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