Wonderful! - Wonderful! 98: Yogurt Expert

Episode Date: August 28, 2019

Rachel's favorite restorative body movement! Griffin's favorite animated summer jam! Rachel's favorite genre! Griffin's favorite communication advancement! Music: "Money Won't Pay" by bo en and Augustus - https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoya MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

🎵 Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Hello, this is Griffin McElroy. And this is wonderful a show a sweet oasis in the desert of piss that rachel and i deserts maybe not the right geographical sort of uh land form rivers of uh piss that's billy joel's albums, I think. It's beautiful. Boy, howdy. If we sound a little bit deflated, maybe isn't the right word, just sort of like both.

Damp. Just damp. It's because of the piss. We've been potty training, and I thought I knew piss. Yeah, you know, it turns out, and this is not something I realized, but if your child has a penis, it is difficult to not get pee on yourself. Yeah, I still am. Here's the thing. I've been helping him with his penis trajectory when he's sitting on the John, the little John.

Johnny. The Johnny. little john and johnny the johnny and i'm like trying to help him target like work on his aim to make it go down and not up out and all over because you're supposed to start with the city supposed to start with the city and like then i think about how i do it when i'm sitting on the and i can't visualize it i've been doing it for so long that i if you gun to my head if there if somebody was like when you sit down on the potty, how do you go pee pee? And I would be like, I just do it. Like, I can't describe what I do with it.

Are your hands involved? I don't think so. I don't know. Do you have to lean forward, like stomach to your legs and just. I thought I knew the piss. I thought I was. I thought I was. I thought you think you're allied with the piss you merely adopted the piss

I was born in the piss I was molded by it that's the Bane from the Batman movies anyway it's been going amazing I mean he's not bad at what he does

he's just new he's new to it and when he's new to it yeah yeah yeah and when i say new to it i mean like what three four days new to it i mean i just kind of expected to like when we started like when you get a cat in a litter box you just even better than that just like he's old enough now i thought i could just walk him in the bathroom and be like yeah man so uh that's the toilet so all this stuff you've been doing in your pants, that's just lazy. So put it in there. That's like where everybody else puts it.

So. All right. See you later. See you later. I'm going to put a PJ masks on the phone. You just do what you got to do. Yell for me when you're done. Peace easy, my friend.

Oh, yeah. You've destroyed everything. Yeah. Hey, do you have any small wonders? I do. OK. Yeah, no. You've destroyed everything. Yeah. Hey, do you have any small wonders? I do. Okay. The Adventure Zone. The Adventure Zone is a podcast I make.

Thanks, baby. It's very, very good. I appreciate that. I've been really excited to see the trajectory of this arc. I was talking to Griffin about how I would say your first round of this was very sci-fi and set those terms up front. Like, hey, this is a world that doesn't exist and these are characters that don't exist either but this one starts out like very

humble and turns into this like huge epic thing and i'm just very proud of you thank you baby that feels good to hear my i was just gonna say i like those those videos, usually on Facebook, not from Tasty, but from Home and Garden magazine or whatever, where they just mash up a bunch of garbage and put it in a casserole and cover it in cheese and bake that. But doesn't that like, don't you have a physical reaction to that that is not positive? Yeah. Yeah. You still like them?

But I'm a fucking trash bag. Okay. I don't know, man. I was born in the piss. I don't know what to tell you. Hey, who goes first this week? I think it's me. All righty then.

Ace Ventura. Are we back on our Jim Carrey? We never left. Never left. My first wonderful thing is stretching. Stretching is so important. The sensation of it like not only is it something that has a physical benefit but it feels so good it feels so good and so right and i don't know

why i never do it i i've never had a stretch and thought well that was a waste of time yeah yeah it's always a good thing it's always good unless you stretch exclusively on one side of your body and not the other one. I bet that would fuck you up, fam. I bet you'd have one wild asymmetrical bod. Yeah, just kind of like a stretch Armstrong on one side and then like a what? Like a... Jeff normal arm on the other one.

Jeff though? Not like... It's a slant rhyme with the stretch I felt like oh okay so I did a little research on stretching okay now I I am not seems like a wild thing to do research on I am not a uh a yoga a yogurt you are a yogurt expert I'll say that what's your shit now are you still messing with that what is it fage that? No, now I'm on that Oikos. Oh, nice. Is that the Uncle Jesse shit?

I think that's that Uncle Jesse shit, yes? No, babe. What? No. What did I say wrong? Oh, wait, maybe you're right. Yeah. Step to me.

It was definitely a Greek thing. You think you're allied with the yogurt? Maybe you're right. I was born in Greek thing. You think you're allied with the yogurt? Maybe you're right. I was born in the yogurt. Molded by it. So all of this to say I'm not an expert in the various stretches you should do. Right. I'm more of a recreational stretcher.

Right, yeah. So that is why I did research. Well, stretching is recreationally illegal here in Texas, so you're good. Oh, yeah. Other places you have to get a doctor's note. You have to get a, yeah, card to get a yeah card uh stretching according to the mayo clinic uh results in increased flexibility and joint range of motion motion they say it weird like i don't know why the clinic says it like that they went to did you not read that article they went everyone's

pronouncing it that way now. Listen, they spent a week in Paris this summer, and now they come back and they... The whole Mayo Clinic. The whole Mayo Clinic is like, oh, motion, stretch it out. Improved circulation. Oh, yeah. Which can help shorten your recovery time if you've had any muscle injuries. Yeah.

Better posture. It keeps your muscles from getting tight which allows you to just kind of not lean to one side or you know i do this thing a lot where i lower my shoulders because i realize that my natural posture is kind of like my shoulders are up by my ears yeah as if you've just been told a very confusing riddle uh stress relief sure totally cool uh enhanced coordination enhanced coordination this more goes back to the range of motion so like if you can if you can stretch well then you're probably more flexible huh so harvard health publishing says that if you stretch uh three to four times

a week and specifically like your shoulders, neck, lower back, it's beneficial for you long-term. Is that what that song's about? It's stretching? Can we get through one episode where you don't reference that song? I can't even say the words neck and back anymore no you sure can't what if i said back and neck would that help uh so if i had said stretching your shoulders back and neck

no i would have found a way to get there what was it it's been so long since i've heard that song what is it about because obviously the last two body parts that the singer points out has erotic undertones. But like, what's the neck and back supposed to be? What's that supposed to be meaning? I didn't know if you realize this. There are many erogenous zones on the body. There's only two. Well, I'm just going to stop touching your neck, I guess.

Please. Wasted effort. So that's stretching. Cool. A plus. A plus is good stuff, man. It's wonderful. I don't know what else the fuck you want us to say, man.

If you are listening to the show right now and are in a position in which you could stretch, please stretch. Let's play a fun game. We can do like Rachel's yoga zone. Okay. And this could be a new segment and it'll come right after the poetry corner. So what do you want people to stretch right now? Wait's the song griffin that's it it's just a bunch of yeah it's just a bunch of deep meditation it could also be like

you're supposed to be talking under this oh please consciously lower your shoulders now roll i'm singing the halo theme song i didn't mean to it started to turn into the halo theme song just stretch your shoulders what's your thing my first thing is the fucking summer jam of all time i have not been this excited to bring something to this show in ages, in ages. Griffin and I realized, I think probably at the same time over the weekend, that this had to be a topic.

This had to be a topic on the show because it's a song that means a lot to us right now. You're going to think I'm fucking goofing when I say this. And if you think that, I want to remind you of a little ditty called underwater rainbow i was thinking of underwater rainbow so like before you come in here and judge my picks like think about my track record i think it speaks for myself for itself too i want to talk about a song that is called shuja ponda and it's from an animated television show on disney called the lion guard this is a kid's show a serialized kid's drama on the disney network i took a turn this last season that is a follow-up to the lion king uh feature film franchise uh i don't know how the live action simba has had a child the child is named kion simba's had a couple kids, I think. But Kion is- Is who we're focused on.

Focused on. He is his son. And through some plot devices- None of this is necessary to know, by the way. I'm going to explain it, though. He inherits this powerful roar of the ancient lions and forms this super group called the Lion Guard. And so he gets a bunch of animals to help him out.

And all the animals are the strongest or the keenest of sight or the bravest or the fastest yeah we got a hippo we got a cheetah we got a hippo we got a cheetah and like i said it's a serialized show and that's fucking wild for like kids programming like there's never really uh if you miss an episode of pj masks it's not like you're going to be like, well, what's the point? Because now I'm so far behind. It's not like Gekko fucking dies. And then you have to be like, wait a minute, where's the green one? No, but Lion Guard will get there.

Griffin watched a couple episodes without me and then came into the room and told me what I missed. Yeah, you missed a lot. And so anyway, they protect the pride lands and whatever it but like we're in the final season of it now and like this horrible calamity has happened and now they're going on this odyssey with like these huge stakes anyway gotta get to the song it's a great show um but uh I just I gotta talk about one episode and the episode's called bestie and the beast and bestie is a hippo he's in the line guard he's the strongest and this gorilla comes down to the pride lands from the mountainside

and his name is shuja and he's there to help out and he's the strongest gorilla in the mountain he's so fucking strong this gorilla is and the problem is he doesn't know how to control his own strength so when he's trying to help the pride landers out he keeps messing things up you know he'll like accidentally smash a tree down and some birds like i lived in there that sucks shuja and shuja like a rock avalanche yeah and shuja feels bad about this and best she tries to teach him about how to use his might responsibly but anyway before all that happens shuja introduces himself with a song oh my gosh i've had this stuck in my head it's been in my head forever.

Yes. He introduces himself with the nastiest fucking banger. Summer Jam 2019 guaranteed. The song is called Shuja Ponda. And I'm going to play as much of it as I possibly can right now. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Shuja Ponda. It's what Shuja do. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, What gives them the right?

What gives them? Who told them that for their show, The Lion Guard, they can include the freshest fucking song I've ever heard in my entire life, Shooja Ponda. If I had to think of like the top five moments in parenting yeah this would be maybe number six yeah this would this has just been i looked at each other and said this song is actually incredible yeah let's watch it again we just had to show i remember the first time we did it we we just had to show on in the

background as like henry and us was doing other stuff and the song played and it finished and i was like wait a second rewind that take it back what was that i'm pretty sure griffin actually asked henry would you like to hear that song again and we did the resolution at the end of like the first part of the chorus when he's like that's what should i do oh my god i get chills it's so freaking catchy every time he comes on i get pumped when i see the episode title when it's like bestie and the beast i'm like yeah it is fuck yeah here he comes uh i just it's so good and also the last time we heard it just a couple days ago i was like god that voice is so familiar. And I Googled, I got on IMDB.

It may have sounded familiar to you if you're a Hamilton fan, because it's Christopher Jackson who played George Washington in the original cast of Hamilton. And he's so good. He brings a bravitas to it. And obviously incredible singing voice to it. That's just, that is just mind-boggling uh that's that's shuja ponda also bonus towards the end of the episode he's like really sad because

he's just fucked everything up yes and shuja mourns the destruction his strength has wrought i'm gonna play a little bit of the sad refrain because it's also good long. Shuja smash it all today. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, have nothing else to add. Lion Guard is a dope TV show. It's my favorite kids TV show we're watching with Henry right now. I am like, I popped onto the Disney app this morning and like refreshed the feed just to make sure there wasn't a new episode because I am I am hanging on

every word. I'm waiting for that fucking Shuja reprise to come in, like swing in Deus Ex Machina in the final season. Yes. I mean, it's a complex character. Yeah mean, it's a complex character. Yeah. And it's a complex season. He would have a good place in it.

It's possible that King Sokwe can't possibly do without him for a while. But I mean, it's bad everywhere. I can't even tell you how many times I will be walking to my car in the parking lot and go like in my head. Should I ponder? That's what should I do? God, it's so fucking good. Can I steal you away?

Yes. Griffin, can I read you a personal message from a listener? Yeah. This message is from Claire. It is for Leo. I just wanted to thank you for your wonderfulness and send you lots of love and support during your first year at law school. I'm so proud of you. I will always be here for you, even if I'm across the Atlantic.

I love you. I believe in you. And I am so, so grateful you are in my life. Hugs and kisses from Germany, Claire. Makes me really happy to know that somebody is listening to this show who is also attending law school because we're going to need some manner of protection from the Lion Guard. And also somebody in Germany, you know. Yeah. For our world travels.

For our world or global travels. Yeah. We got them all over, folks. For our world travels. For our world or global travels. Yeah. We got them all over folks. Splinter cells waiting to be activated. Here's a message and it's for Remus and it's from Mia who says, Remus, I miss the good old days when we'd play all day, get into the garbage,

rip up couches and destroy the blinds. You are my best friend in the world and I'll miss you a hell of a lot when you move to Austin, but maybe you'll run into Griffin and Rachel someday and get some good head pats. I love you and you will always be my brother. Love, Mia. Are these...

Dogs. Cats. Maybe cats. Ferrets. People who just do it a certain way i don't know but i'll pat whoever the fuck and if you're looking uh to run into me and griffin uh we are almost always at the grocery store just constantly i feel like just every day really well i am oh yeah usually buying Well, I am. Oh, yeah. Usually buying some new exciting diaper. Investing in some exciting diaper technology.

No, this is a no diaper household. We pee in the potty now. We make pee pee right in the potty. Listen, I'm a hot shot Hollywood movie producer. You have until I finish my glass of kombucha to pitch me your idea. Go. All right. It's called Who Shot Ya?

A movie podcast that isn't just a bunch of straight white dudes. I'm Ify Whiteyway, the new host of the show and a certified BBN. BBN? Buff Black Nerd. I'm Alonzo Doraldi, an elderly gay and legit film critic who wrote a book on Christmas movies. I'm Drea Clark, a loud white lady from Minnesota. Each week, we talk about a new movie in theaters and all the important issues going on in the film industry. It's like guess

who's coming to dinner meets cruising. And if it helps seal the deal, I can flex my muscles while we record each episode. I'm sorry, this is a podcast. I'm a movie producer. How did you get in here? Iffy, quick, start flexing. Bicep, lats, chest. Who shot you? Dropping every Friday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you listen to podcasts. What's your second thing? Please tell me now. Do you have it?

What is it? My second thing is magical realism. Hey, this is a term I hear a lot of people say and sometimes I say it and pretend to know exactly what it means well come join me griffin thanks there is actually a very helpful article on vox from 2014 that really breaks it down for you god they got everything i know uh so they provide the context which i think is useful so do you know anything about the Romantic period? Oh, sure. Everyone was kissing.

In this period. The Romantic period was when you saw kind of an idealized reality. These like big sweeping landscapes and, you know, frilly outfits and rosy cheeks. Okay. As a reaction to the Romantic period, you had realism, which was in the 19th century after the revolution in France, artists began to reject this kind of frilly perspective and focus on exact representations of reality.

So I don't know if you've ever seen this painting. It's called The Gleaners. Yeah. It's two like field workers uh in a field and they're you know what yeah like gleaning they're yeah sure pulling the stuff out of the field and yeah anyway and they have those silly looks on their faces romantic period was all about kind of like cap capturing like opulence and and like high status people and then realism was like no let's see what the regular folk are doing and let's get get them up in the paintings okay okay why though

like i want to look at the fancy people yeah see and that is i mean here's i feel like magical realism kind of splits the difference a little bit okay so magical realism was introduced in 1925 by a german art critic but it didn't really catch steam as like a movement until the 1940s in latin america and the caribbean so the whole idea of magical realism is that it is a story set in a realistic environment with magical elements okay so unlike a fantasy novel where it's like you know the whole experience is you know otherworldly right magical realism kind of deliberately withholds information about these magical moments to present them as kind of ordinary experience okay i'm on the same page with you now. So examples of this that you might be familiar with are movies like The Green Mile and Amelie.

I was thinking Big Fish is probably like this. Yeah, that's another good example. Yes! Good work, Griffin. Yes! You'll see this in books. Oh, yeah. Like Water for Chocolate is a book that I have read and liked very much. Water for Elephants? I'm not familiar with that one entirely. I know that it was a movie. It's a circus romance. Was there a Renee Zellweger in that one?

Probably. They're all over the place. Gotta keep an eye out. Can't throw a stick without hitting an elephant or a Renee Zellweger. And of course, 100 Years of Salton. 100 Years, gotta get it. I actually know that book.

I adore it. You've read 100 Years of Salton? Yeah, we've talked about this. Is this recent? It was since we've been together. Oh, okay. Because I was talking to you about it. I was like, this book is wild, man.

And you're like, yeah, I know. I've read it a thousand times. It's my favorite book of all time. I read that book. No, I've only read it once. I read it the summer after I finished college, I believe. And I was house sitting for one of my former professors. And he had a really good library.

And so I would just go over to his house, feed his cat, and then sit on the couch and read that book. It was really great. It was good. So, magical realism, I really like it because of the lack of explanation. And it has a very artistic quality because you are in this environment that is ordinary, in an ordinary circumstance,

and then something totally magical will happen, and it does not shift the focus of the book, does not change everything. The characters are not reacting to it. It is just kind of assumed as part of the universe. And I don't know, it adds this richness to the story. So I wanted to give an example from A Hundred Years of Solitude. So A Hundred Years of Solitude, I'm not going to try and summarize the plot, only to say that it spans six generations, and in each generation, the men are named Jose Acardio or Aureliano, and the women are named Ursula Amaranta or Remedios. Which makes the book very confusing to read sometimes. There's a family tree in the beginning of the book.

That you have to read. And they kind of stack it by generations, so you you know like, okay, which, you know, Jose Acardio is this? Right. Anyway, so here is a scene when, and I believe this is first generation, Jose Acardio dies. They found no wound on his body,

nor could they locate the weapon, nor was it possible to remove the smell of powder from the corpse. First, they washed him three times with soap and a scrubbing brush and they rubbed him with salt and vinegar then with ashes and lemon and finally they put him in a barrel of lye and let him stay for six hours. They scrubbed him so much that the arabesques of his tattooing began to fade. When they thought of the desperate measure of seasoning him with pepper, cumin seeds, and laurel leaves,

and boiling him for a whole day over a slow fire. He had already begun to decompose, and they had to bury him hastily. They sealed him hermetically in a special coffin seven and a half feet long and four feet wide, reinforced inside with iron plates, and fastened together with steel bolts. And even then, the smell could be perceived on the streets through which the funeral procession passed. Although in the months that followed, they reinforced the grave with walls about it,

between which they threw compressed ash, sawdust, and quicklime. The cemetery still smelled of powder for many years after until the engineers from the banana company covered the grave over with a shell of concrete. from the banana company covered the grave over with a shell of concrete that passage has stayed with me for maybe 15 years now yeah so much so that when i knew i was going to talk about magical realism i had to search for it and i found a copy of the entire book that exists online and i like did a variety of search turns to find it because I remember reading that and that being so powerful to me.

And then they just move on, you know, it's just like this, this thing that exists that of course, you know, in this world, you know, somebody that dies tragically either shot or,

you know, the, the whole experience of him dying is kind of left mysterious. Right. What they instead focus on is the fact that this smell of powder that lingers right um and i just i oh it's so powerful to me the only thing i remember from that i mean i remember the plot of the book but the thing that stuck with me was there was a phrase after a um uh two characters had had sex and i do not remember the context of any of it

but there's a sentence that said her sex was hard like a nut and i remember reading that and being so gross as so like viciously grossed out by it there's great so gross there's a lot of sexuality i feel like because so we read like water for chocolate in high school and that is a very racy book like the whole premise of the book is there is this woman whose passion is like so intense that she like makes things burst into flames and so there's like scenes where she's like having sex with this man and there are literal sparks coming off of her body and it like sets the house on fire and then there's another scene where she gets in the shower to clean off but the water never touches her skin because it like evaporates from the heat

does the shower water then turn into chocolate i'm confused i've never read or heard of this book there's a movie too so maybe that's a good place to start i know i'm gonna try and watch the movie and end up just seeing water for Elephants again, aren't I? It's a real racy movie if you want to. So is Water for Elephants. I just remember watching it in high school and thinking, like, there are a lot of people who watch this. Like in class? Yeah, we read the book and we watched the movie and we all looked at each other uncomfortably.

Except for that one kid. Who looked very comfortable. Can I talk about my second thing? It's really quick. Yes. I want to talk about modern texting, modern text messages. I am humiliatingly like only recently sort of up on text technology. I,

which is hard for me to admit because I feel like for a while there, like I was on the bleeding edge of communication advances for a while. And when would you say that ended? About the time that I got the first iPhone, probably. Like when AIM came out and like those early like texts. God, I can't remember. Like what was the chat?

There was a chat program that like predated AIM that it's been so long. I don't even remember what it's called. But like that and like anytime I found like a web forum that was even relevant like remotely relevant to my interest or just seemed like a cool place for people to hang out and say whatever like i get on there uh you know all kinds of live live blog situations where you and your buddies could just comment on each other's shit i had a a pager for like a second that Justin found on the floor of like a mosh pit somewhere and he had it for a while until he gave it to me. And I don't think I ever got a single text on it.

And then I got like a cell phone, like early cell phone and like everybody else, like I climbed from the primordial ooze as I like learned how it how it functioned and so are you basically saying you've been behind since 2005 no no because like uh i got the iphone after that and i feel like i was like i know what the i know what this means and what it's gonna be for a little while because it was such a step up from like doing it on my motorola razor where like if you got a text message from somebody that was more than like six words long it was true love because it sucked so bad to have to put all that in but then you know I got my first iPhone I started sending texts with a little keyboard and I was like this is what it is this is

what it is now and I didn't really step up my fucking game until like earlier this year when our friends were like chatting about something and they started putting stickers on shit. And I was like, what? Yeah, I still don't know how to do that. Yeah. Get with the net, man. I took the time to learn some of this stuff and just like, it's incredible. I got a text.

It was like they sent the text and confetti came out of it. I was like, what the fuck? How did you do that? I have seen that, but I don't know how to control it. See, this is what I'm talking about. I've learned how to do these things. And I'm assuming it's also on other platforms, not just on like iPhone iMessage.

It's probably a thing there also. And it's such a beautiful thing. I'm talking about this partially because we talked about it on MBMBAM and since then have been sort of insufferable about the gifs and videos that we've been sending to each other. But like the multimedia aspect to digital conversation changes the whole ballgame, especially for somebody like me who like genuinely stresses about any form of communication whatsoever like trying to think of the right thing to say uh whether it's like trying to uh just comment on somebody's observation about whatever or somebody's like going through a hard time and like genuinely wanting to be there for them but really not knowing the right way to send in that case well you know i that's a bad example because i would usually step in there with the usual thing. But like, you know, I feel like the multimedia aspect opens up all these other doors for more mundane conversation where you don't have to stress about the right thing to say.

You can send a scene from Water for Elephants. You can send a scene from Water for Elephants. You can send a GIF. Like there's so many GIFs and it's so easy to find them. You can put a sticker on it. You can emphasize your message to like balloons come out of it or whatever the hell and it's fun it's like a game now now i'm trying to like optimize what i'm saying not just for the textual like contents of my message but like how i can how i can tweak it how i can really really stick at the landing

and maybe this is bad for somebody like maybe this is bad for communication period but like it it might be especially bad for somebody like me who uh a lot of the time is just like waiting for like an opportunity to try and do a goof or whatever um but it's just i it has made texting with our friends so much easier and more fun to just be able to just like, here is a GIF from Ace Ventura. Handle it. You know what I mean? Uh-huh. It's nice. And I feel like I wish I could talk to you more about this, but you refuse to learn how all this fun stuff works.

I know how to choose from the preset ones. You know, you like click on that little like globe looking icon. Yeah. And then you type in the word and some stuff comes up and you choose the one that's good stuff that's good i like that that's good last night you know griffin was upstairs and dinner was ready it's true so i sent him a little spongebob thing saying supper's ready and we love spongebob like that's our thing that's like our thing you know we did our first dance to spongebob and then the other the other

night i was sitting on the couch and griffin was on the other side of the couch and he was on his phone and so i i sent him like a little a little i don't even remember it was a little animated thing that was like hey you know and so he looked up from his phone and looked at me and it was we sound like we're 500 fucking years old right now i know y'all i know but like it's fun and i think i'm more engaged with long ass text chains because i know i have this other option it's not like it's the only way i'm communicating but like if somebody says a funny joke and you text them ha ha ha ha is that i think that's worse than just holding your finger down on the image until the ha ha response pops up and you just pick that instead because then it's worse than just holding your finger down on the image until the ha-ha response pops up.

And you just pick that instead. Because then it's like, I saw your thing and I enjoyed it. And I don't have to be like, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, like a fucking robot. So what would you send, if somebody did something funny and you thought it was funny? Yeah. What would be the right response? I would give them their moment and I would send the ha-ha response. That's etiquette.

That's etiquette 101. I thought you were exclusively talking about little animated... Yeah, I could do that too. There's so many options, baby. Stickers. We don't even talk about stickers. I can put a Pikachu on it.

Whatever. I got a Squirtle I can use sometimes. I'm gonna need you to show me. I'll show you the stickers. Show me how to do the stickers. Yeah, I'll show you how to do the stickers. I got some fucking rad can use sometimes. Yeah, I'm going to need you to show me. I'll show you the stickers. Show me how to do the stickers. Yeah, I'll show you how to do the stickers. I got some fucking rad ones, dude. Good.

Freaking Stewie Griffin, like, flipping a bird at what you just said. Like, you want to go out to get some burgers tonight? Can we go on of Calvin just peeing on your message? And it's like, do you want to go see Water for Elephants tonight? And it's like, here's what I think of Water for Elephants tonight? And it's like, here's what I think of your dumb idea. I pee on it with my friend Calvin. Oh, I like that.

Or if your friend like sends you a picture of the Ford logo, you can be like. Could you get like, you know, on little educational PSAs, it'll say the more you know, could you get that coming out of Calvin

instead of pee? As instead of the pee. Probably, yeah. I'll call Bill Watterson, see if he can hook me up please with a new doodle of his guy hey do you want to hear some submissions from our friends i think we forgot to do them last yes we did i'm humiliated about that kayla says something i think is wonderful is cranberry juice it's my morning potion it provides me with vitamins and those fibers I so desperately need and it's sour enough to give me that kick I need to wake up. Yes, cranberry juice. I do love

a cranberry juice. I love a cranberry juice. I kind of forget about cranberry juice. I'm glad this person brought it up. Every time I'm on a plane now I used to do ginger ale, now I do cranberry juice. Oh, really? I do cranberry juice. It keeps the pipes clean. Why choose one? Ginger ale's a lot of

work sometimes. It's so bubbly it's kind of hard to drink. No, cranberry and ginger ale. What? A little spritzer. They can do that? I bet they could. For you? For Griffin? For me? Diamond, platinum, emerald

captain status. They let me fly the plane sometimes. I have no status with any airlines. I know, you should work on that. I fly so much. I could be. It's this reverse sunk cost fallacy. And now you're like, I've spent so much.

It's been so long. And I could be the king of whatever airline I wanted to at this point. But I haven't done it so long that like if i started doing it now and found out like what kind of thing i could have earned at this point it would absolutely kill me so i just have to remain ignorant about it uh and here is one from bethany who says something i find wonderful is that there is a cereal factory where i live and sometimes you step outside and the air smells like lucky charms or cheerios it's so good oh wow if you could have the smell and really think carefully about this because your first instinct really

really think about it if you could step outside and maybe like a few few mornings a week get the smell of a certain cereal in the air what would it be because i would say cinnamon toast crunch but that would be actually pretty cloying i feel like like. Yeah, it'd be too much. It'd be a little bit too much. Ooh. Trying to think of like a fragrant cereal. Here's the thing. This is a weird answer for me because I don't actually like the cereal. But for some reason, I harbor a lot of like emotional attachment for the smell of Cheerios.

That smell of Cheerios, it doesn't smell quite like any other cereal. The wet Cheerios smell is like its own sort of thing what if i were to say grape nuts those don't have a smell so you feel like you're cheating you're not smelling close enough yeah i'll give you that really get your nose in there next time yeah they've got a beautiful bouquet these new grape nuts you have these new grape nuts they fucking reek man it's like it's earthy but it's also like floral and grapes now you're gonna want to eat the cereal after you get this good smell and i can't stress this enough don't eat the grape nuts it's a gross it's a gross do you like grape nuts you're the first human on earth i've ever put some raisins in thereins in there? You shave. You can put raisins in anything.

It's better. Well, I don't know that that's true. I'm just saying you shouldn't need to augment it. Fruity pebbles are good as is. Hey, you put cream in your coffee. It's the same thing. It's not the same thing. All coffees are gross. I want the good cream in it. And

daddy's gonna get the creamy ones. Oh no, I hate this. i tell you this all the time gonna get that cream thank you to bowen and augustus for the use of our theme song money won't pay you can find a link to that in the episode description uh one last thing we're gonna be uh traveling all next week we're going on a fun family vacation with the whole uh gang so we are not gonna have a new episode up next week. We are going to be back though in two Wednesdays with all that good stuff that you crave.

All the new updates on what good Disney songs are out there. Thanks to Maximum Fun for having us on the network. Go check out all the great shows. They're adding new shows. You scared me. They're adding new shows all the time. There's a new show about Canadians doing Canadian things. There's a new show about canadians doing canadian things there's a new show from dave hill called so you're canadian it's a very it's a show about canadians

and the way not necessarily doing canadian things no i mean you know yeah it's pretty much about that you nailed it on the head uh yeah there's a bunch of shows on there they're always adding new ones it's great stuff we got other stuff at mcelroy.family you can find links to all of our shows we got coming up and uh merch and all that great jazz man some of our jazz albums that we've been putting together recently that we're excited to put out can we can we do a little of it yeah on our on our way out of this episode yeah sure all Yeah, sure. All right. A scooby-ba-ba-ba-boop-ba-boop-ba-boop. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Keep going. A boop-ba-ba-ba-ha-ha. Boom, boom, boom, boom.

Ha-ha-ha. Boom, boom, boom. Shoo-cha-ponda. That's what Shoo-cha do. Shoo-cha smash and crash. Bye. Money won't pay. Working on things. Shoo, just smash and crash. Bye. My mom Working on My mom Working on

My mom Working on Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. Hi, I'm Dave Hill from show business. And while I'm not from Canada, my grandfather Clarence Vincent Blake Sr. was, and he wouldn't shut up about it. My grandfather moved on to that great penalty box in the sky way back in the 80s.

onto that great penalty box in the sky way back in the 80s. Still, all these years later, I can't help but wonder, what do we really know about Canada and its people? Which is why my friend Chris Gersbeck and I decided to make So You're Canadian. Brand new podcast from the Maximum Fun Network, on which I attempt to get to know our neighbors to the north, one Canadian at a time. Coming to Maximum Fun, August 27th. And I'm not sorry.