Wonderful! - Wonderful! Ep. 36: Two-Story Toilet

Episode Date: May 30, 2018

Griffin's favorite dunkable treat! Rachel's favorite juice-filled fruit! Griffin's favorite bossa nova song! Rachel's favorite literary gathering! Music: "Money Won't Pay" by bo en and Augustus - https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoya MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

🎵 Hey, it's Griffin. 1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, give me some more. 5, 6, give me some sticks. 7, 8, give me that gate. Five, six, give me some sticks. Seven, eight, give me that gate. Hey, everybody, it's a Griffin, and I'm here to say that I want that gate in a major way.

You impressed? One, two, three, you know me. Four, five, six, I'm the coolest chicks. Yeah, you're more than one of them. I've always said that about you. You know that song, I'm the coolest chicks. Yeah, you're more than one of them. I've always said that about you. You know that song, I'm every woman. You sing that song and I look at you and I say, yes. Seven, eight, nine.

Oh. Feeling fine. Okay. Ten. A big fat hen. Yeah, yeah. What I love about that is the first three parts of that song were sort of about how great you were. And then the last part didn't follow the same number scheme and also introduced a very fun image.

By the way, this is the episode. I didn't know if you knew it. Hey, it's wonderful. I'm Griffin. And I'm Rachel. I know that's not how we usually do it, but, you it. Hey, it's wonderful. I'm Griffin. And I'm Rachel. I know that's not how we usually do it, but, you know. It was just so tasty. It was tasty.

The problem is we didn't get to do the sound check that we usually do because it turned into episode very quickly. So I'm wondering if you could scoot that up. See, it didn't even turn the sound of my computer off. I wonder if you could scoot that windscreen just a little bit closer to the microphone meat there. And that's going to be just right. Folks, you are getting a behind-the-scenes look at wonderful. I mean, don't let it touch it. That defeats the purpose of what the windscreen is.

I thought you did all this stuff before I sat down. Well, that's, I mean, yeah. Peter Piper. Oh, that's good. Those plosives are so soft I could fall asleep to them, babe. So this is a show where we talk about the things that we are into right now. For Rachel, that list would not include me, unfortunately. But maybe by the end of the episode, I can win my way back into your good graces.

You got any small wonders? I do, actually. Yeah, good. The smell of sunscreen. The sunscreen smells quite good. It is like transportative. Is that a word? it's kind of um i feel like every time i smell it i get like jives for the summer to come that's a loud drink you're taking there

well no point to i ran everything on this episode through the drink filter so that you don't get any liquid noises so what you just said didn't make any freaking sense at all i never smell it on myself we slathered our baby up good baby back ribs and uh smelled it on him for like the rest of the day and that was quite nice yeah because you get the good baby smell and then you get that beach smell and now now we're now we're cooking what about you i got a few ibuprofen i've had sort of a full bone hurt of all bones for like two weeks now, but ibuprofen's there. Like, I'm going to get you through this one, dog. And Terrace House is opening new doors.

We're almost done with the second chunk of episodes. And first chunk didn't really grab me, but chunk two, I think, has got its claws. Every moment we're not watching that show, I am just thinking about watching that show. Yeah, I was worried because now we're kind of watching that and Boys X Girls Next Door, the original run, kind of side by side. I would get it confused. But I think the characters are very well established in both. Well, the environment's so different. The environment is quite different. They're in a very rural setting in Karuizawa in Opening New Doors.

And man, it really sets it apart because I want to go to there so very badly. And I guess that's it. I guess I can call it there. Still eating those jelly beans. Still just going after that five. I hid them. I thought that would Yeah, no, but I hacked it. I hacked your

I went into your email where you emailed all your friends. I hid the jelly beans here. What if I hide them again? It's a fun game now now except for when i want jelly beans so bad that i get angry what if i put them in little plastic eggs and hide them all over the house will you i think i go first this week i do i looked it up ahead of time i got tired of the drama on the freaking set so i'm i go first this time because that's the order and my first thing i know i've thrown you some fairly inaccessible stuff lately stuff that we maybe necessarily don't share as an interest necessarily i know it can be kind of hard to hang when that's the truth. I'm bringing first up though, Oreo.

Oh, good. The Oreo cookie. There are very few sweets in this world that I could potentially be in the mood for at all times, all days of the year, right? Like cake. Cake can be kind of too heavy sometimes. Ice cream would just wreck my whole gastrointestinal shop so that's not good pie seems like a lot of work today some cookies wait why does pie seem like a lot oh you just gotta you gotta make sure that you get the filling and the crust in every bite and it's like oh god it takes you twice as long to eat but i love pie but it takes you twice as long to eat than like any other sweet and that's the that's the truth um other cookies even are too sweet sometimes like if i eat like a chocolate too

mean chocolate chip cookies that's a tummy grumble scenario that i don't want to invite myself into oreos though oatmeal cream pie is actually the only other one that's the only other exception yeah i'll fuck one of those up on the on the Oreos, though, I'm always in for Oreos, which is a really good tagline for Oreos. The consistency of the Oreo. Did you know this? Scientists got together, 100,000. 100,000 scientists.

At the science convention in Las Vegas, the moon. Oh. Yeah, so this is the secret Las Vegas that's on the moon. That's expensive. Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. But I mean, they're scientists. They got all the money, right?

Running the, you know how that's a sort of a common thread throughout sort of the conspiracy theory blogs and stuff. It's a scientist run the media. It's an $800,000 travel budget. Right. This cookie, though, the Oreo is perfection, is what the scientists discovered. I didn't complete the thought because I forgot about it, but there it is.

Scientists said it's perfect. The cookie material is perfectly crumbly and when it dances in the mouth with the cream, with the sweet cream, it's so good. It's so generous. Every Oreo you eat is technically two cookies with bonus cream.

Okay. You've gone too far. Have I? Or have... Do you think of a sandwich as two pieces of bread with bonus meat? No. No, but when you buy Oreos... No, hold on. When I say I want to eat a roast beef sandwich, I'm thinking I'm excited for my friend roast beef and its friends bread and toppings. When I look at Oreos on the store shelf, I don't go like, I'm going to have me a cream party tonight and cookies can come too. That's a wild, that is a wild comparison. And you know it. Do you think of a Tootsie Roll as candy with bonus Tootsie? I don't even think of a Tootsie Roll as candy. What about a Blow Pop?

A Blow Pop... Candy with bonus gum? Yeah. Okay. Um, you can eat Oreos straight up. And you should, sometimes. Milk is really good. It works wonders for these guys.

And they are also like, unlike any other cookie they are the most utilized cookie for all other desserts you can use them as the base for like a cheesecake you can crumble these shits up on a sundae you can i've uh done what are they called the little um truffles little chocolate truffles you make the cream cheese and you mash it up with the oreos and you cover it in hard chocolate. That's a truffle. You don't do that with other cookies, do you? Oatmeal raisin cookie.

I'm specifically looking at you. Because what are you going to do? Crumble these up on your Sunday? I'm going to freaking barf. Can I hop in here for a second? Uh-huh. Here's a problem I have with Oreos. And I am only bringing it up so that you can help me develop a workaround.

Yeah. I'm all ears. I enjoy Oreos. Sure. You got a mouth and a heart. I do not like how they get stuck in my teeth. Have you noticed this? Yeah, sure, sure, sure.

In the molars, especially? Yeah, the molars love having to hold the cookie material. Do I just need to get over that? Is that just part of it? Well, you need to stop thinking of your teeth as mouth bones for steak chewing, and you need to start thinking of them as Oreo banks. Like where I hold Oreos?

For a later withdrawal. Okay. Is the word withdraw or withdrawal? Probably withdraw, huh? Because withdrawal is a whole other thing. But when you go to the ATM, do you withdraw money or withdraw it? You withdraw money.

But you don't withdraw it? Withdrawal is like the noun. Withdraw is the verb. Huh. A lot of people don't know that. Here's the other thing about Oreos. It is very versatile in its base state, right? You can do anything with an Oreo,

but there's a cornucopia of options available to you, both in terms of form and function. I'm talking regular. I'm talking double stuff. I'm talking mega stuff. You fucking lunatics. Looked at a double stuff Oreo'm talking mega stuff you fucking lunatics looked at a double stuff oreo and was like this is some little kid shit we need to mega stuff these bastards because america deserves it is there are you going to get to the new flavors i'm talking about i gotta finish talking about

the forms there's mini oreos there's um mini oreos are what i make with regular size Oreos when I put them in my mouth. So thank you, but I'd rather do the work. I enjoy the work. Thin Oreos are my new favorite. Yeah, it's nice. They do a lot of flavor experimentation, and I find myself enjoying the sensation of eating these guys as if they were little Pringles almost, little Lay's potato thins. I enjoy that a lot. And then we're talking about flavors.

things. I enjoy that a lot. And then we're talking about flavors. We're talking about the usual, like recurring stuff, like original chocolate, peanut butter, mint, double delight, which has the two flavors inside. What did you see today? And I didn't buy them, but I should have. Okay. Lemon Oreos. Yeah, sure. I bet that's good. Sure. Yeah. Lemon Oreos, brownie batter, birthday cake, peppermint, red velvet. There's's so many flavors i was looking at a list online and they differ from region to region sort of like kit kats which we found this pumpkin flavored kit kat when we were in japan for a honeymoon that we bought three bags of destroyed them and then can never ever find them ever fucking again seasonal thing we brought a bag back on the airplane to bring to our friends.

And then we ate it. And we killed pretty much all but enough for one little Kit Kat bar for each of our friends. I'm so sorry, friends. I did not know that they were going to go extinct. I've never had a bad Oreo. Oh, anyway, other countries have other flavors. Singapore, Malaysia, China, and I think a few other countries have blueberry ice cream Oreos, which I would fucking

destroy. Yeah, that sounds wonderful. Oh, man. The only bad thing about Oreos is when your parents went to the store. Okay. And they bought. Hydrox. The disgusting imposter known as Hydrox.

Yes. Do you know the history of the Hydrox Oreo beef? Oh, gosh. Hydrox was first. Hydrox came first. I did know that. In 1908, four years later, 1912, Oreo shows up on the scene like do you mind if we actually try our hand at it and america said oh this is so much better and oreo quickly surpassed the hydrax a lot of people think it was guys that's capitalism

is gross oreo is a thief but oreo fixed, and I'm very grateful that they did. Hydrox, which first of all, Hydrox, guys? You called it Hydrox? They called it Hydrox. It derives its name from the atoms that make up the water molecule, hydrogen and oxygen. In 1908, the creators of the cookie were looking for a name that would convey, quote, purity and goodness. You fucked up because you landed on Hydrox, which sounds like a sort of bleach abrasive. Or like medicinal. And these are not medicinal.

They are poison. The way that you can tell if it's a Hydrox or an Oreo, if somebody locks you in a basement and makes you do a taste test for your freedom, Hydrox has, and this is according to Wikipedia, less sweet cream and a crunchier cookie that gets less soggy in milk who wants that if i didn't want my oreo to get soggy from milk i wouldn't dunk it in fucking milk that's why i do it that's why i exercise milk dunking hydrox anyway um oreos are so good. Yeah, I agree. That's what I did for my summer vacation. What's your first thing? Did you think of this? Because last night we had generic Oreos that were root beer flavored. That probably played into it. It probably was more that we have had consistently a container of Oreo thins in this house

for about a month and a half, and it was only a matter of time. It's like an unspoken thing. Griffin and I will go grocery shopping separately, and now it's just part of our rotation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just always have Oreos in the house. No, we did have these generic, not even Hydrox, so like, yikes. Yeah, they were

like grocery store brand. But our friend Justin was very excited for us to eat these root beer flavored Foreos. And I cracked it open, as I do. He got his tongue in there. I twist it and then I lick the cream, as is my practice. And it was the worst mistake I ever made in my whole life because the cream tasted like a root beer barrel, took a big shit in my mouth. It was so gross do you know how i eat an oreo tell me tell me no i'm curious if you ever notice do i lick

the cream i don't think you do i don't yeah i just go straight for that milk yeah yeah yeah you're uh but i mean that's what makes it exciting you know what's your first thing though we've talked about oreos for a quarter of an hour uh i am gonna talk about and i actually thought you might talk about it oh peaches oh i thought you're gonna talk about the bad smell coming from our laundry room why would that's just all i can fucking think about it stinks so bad if anybody knows yeah i can smell so bad if anybody knows how to get the stink out of a laundry room specifically i think the washing machine is the stinky culprit. Don't tell us about the tablets. We've tried the fucking tablets.

It stinks so bad. I think it's a plumbing problem. I think a guy died in there in the washing machine a hundred years ago. Peaches are great, though. Peaches, yes. So this came to mind because it is peach season here in Texas. And so we got some peaches at the farmer's market. Oh man, they're so good.

They're so freaking, I've not eaten a peach since I was maybe six years old. And now I'm a 30, not 31, 31 years old. And they have blown my mind. Did you know? Probably not. Over half the world's peaches come from China. Hey, I did not know that, but I would guess it, because I think half of all fruit comes

from China these days. 58%. I don't sell that other... The world's total peaches and nectarines. So here's another thing. Did you know that a nectarine is basically a peach without the fuzzy skin? Well, that sounds way better than a peach without the fuzzy skin. Well, that sounds way better than a peach, actually.

And that's sort of the only problem I do have with the peach is that I feel like I'm licking a cat every time I eat one of these things. Genetic studies suggest nectarines are produced due to a recessive allele, whereas peaches are produced from a dominant allele for fuzzy skin. Oh, that's fun. And also, I'm glad that not every, if every time I had to eat an apple, I had to work through what is essentially an apple beard, I would not eat apples ever.

So peaches didn't hit America until, well, technically they arrived in the 17th century through some European folks, including Thomas Jefferson, who brought their own individual peach trees. Whoa. But American farmers did not begin commercial production until the 19th century in Maryland, Delaware, Georgia, South Carolina, and Virginia. That is fascinating. Yeah, because peaches seem like such an American fruit to me.

Apparently, they are Chinese. I think wherever you grow the most of them is where they are now. I know. I just kind of put them on par with apples. Yeah. I mean, I equate them probably with the American South more than anything, right? Yeah, exactly. That might just be because I like to do sort of a Southern voice and talk about, you know, peach cobbler.

Do you want to do that right now? I don't. Oh. Yeah. That was kind of a big old tease, wasn't it? Yeah, you know, how are you going to miss me if I'm always here? Can we talk about the fact that since we've had these peaches in our house a couple weeks in a row now, because we get them from the farmer's market, I have heard you quote face-off.

quote face-off. The face-off quoting ratio in this house has spiked from what I would call an insignificant number of face-off quotes to every tenth sentence that you say while we're in the kitchen where the peaches live. What I like to do with Griffin,

Griffin does a lot of impressions, as you know. Do I? That's Austin Powers. Thank you. It's good. And he does a very precise approach to quoting lines from films and actors and, you know. I like to say it

conversationally. Yeah. So I'll finish a peach, let's say, and I'll turn to Griffin and I'll say something like, you know, Griffin. And I'll say, yes? I could eat a peach, Griffin. And I'll say, yes. I could eat a peach for hours. And I'll lose my shit because I wasn't expecting it. And also because I'm a little grossed out because it's the grossest scene in any movie ever, Nick. It's very, very gross.

Nick Cage. So let me tell you about the peach in Texas. Yeah. So at the farmer's market, the big thing in Texas is the Fredericksburg peach. Yes, we went to Fredericksburg about a year and a half, maybe it was two summers ago, and had fun. I would say we knocked it out in about one day. We get there, you see the peaches, you go to some wineries, you climb the big mountain,

and then you're... Then you're pretty much done. You did it. So Fredericksburg is about 80 miles west of Austin. And the Fredericksburg High School when he planted five peach trees and began selling the fruit in 1921. I love that. That's some Walter White shit.

Like I'm teaching science, but on the side, I've got this peach business. So he combined a few species of peach together to create kind of the most durable peach for the conditions of Texas. I was joking before, but my dog actually did this thing. Yeah, for sure, for sure. How do you do that, by the way, without like lab equipment? Do you just rub two pits together? I think you like cross-pollinate. There's flowers on the peach tree.

You don't have to rub the pits together. Make them kiss? No. You don't? No, it's the flowers, you know. Okay. I'm actually not a scientist, so that might not be true. Yeah, I don't think rubbing two flowers together gets you a juicier peach. I don't know.

I don't think rubbing two pits together would. Well, can we both agree we're wrong? Okay. So he started with 14 acres. For five trees. How much did you need to space these out, my man? Well, I'm sure it was their property. I don't think he did like one every two acres.

That'd be a pain in the ass. Time to water the peach trees. Let me get on my razor scooter. Jesus, they're so far apart. By 1925, the family was producing more than several hundred trees. And hey, guess what? This guy was friends with Howard E. Butt, who is the HEB gentleman that started the stores. I always thought it was butts. Nope, just the one butt. Just the one. Nope, just one butt.

So he hooked up with his friend and got them in stores in Austin and San Antonio. By 1935, he bought another 145 acres and still had about 5,000 peach trees. All right. I made fun of you before, but you thought ahead. Well done. When did folks start turning these things into jellies? Because, damn, they deserve a raise. I didn't research the jelly.

My preference is for the fruit. The fruit's good. It's impossible to eat unless you're hovering over a sink or toilet. A sink or a toilet or a towel that you've laid out to sort of a juice dragnet. Okay, let's see if we can learn anything from the Oreo. Okay. So you said to not think of it as teeth. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But as what? What did you say? I was funny, whatever it was. It was funny as hell. So we need to think of the juice mask. Oh, okay. So instead of sticky juice on my neck and chest under my shirt. Your body is a tarp for later peach.

Hey, except I don't think anybody's licking the peach juice off me. Okay, okay. No, come on, you're the one who painted this picture. Let's look at it in the museum together. I don't want to seduce our listeners. Yeah. Hey, though, can I steal you away? That's fine. Yeah, I don't know.

I'm running out. It kind of sounded like I'm ashamed of this. Rachel and I watch videos on Facebook as we're falling asleep. One showed up in the feed, and it'll get a little blue here, of course, but it was a fart. It was a guy who recorded a toot that he did. No, no, no, but stick with me. But he mapped it out onto sheet music,

the notes that the course of the toot followed, and then composed a whole song around it. It made me laugh so hard, I thought that I was gonna die. Griffin thought it was very, very funny. It was the idea. Toots don't do it for me. I added a lot of toot humor out of specifically my brother, my brother, me,

and did maybe do that this exact morning. So I feel like I have evidence to that fact. The idea of somebody turning it into a beautiful classical composition really tickled my funny bone. This message is for Stefan. It is from Amanda. Hey, baby, I just want to say I love you and I'm so excited for everything the future holds for us. I could just tell you that,

but I thought it would sound even better coming from Rachel and Griffin. Here's to a lifetime of listening to podcasts, hiking, and making those sweet playprints together. Thank you for being my good long boy. And thank you for helping us with the advertising. This couple sounds so in love. I think that they would be great testers for my prototype bunk bed toilet. Just hit me up. You know the email Addy. Get at me and I will let you know. You're

going to have to sign a few waivers because I have no guarantees that that top seat is going to stay on there. you know, you're going to have to sign a few waivers because I have no guarantees that that top seat is going to stay on there. Hi, everybody. I'm Justin McElroy. And I'm Dr. Sydney McElroy. Every week, we release a medical history podcast called Sawbones. We go over the history of the dumbest, grossest, weirdest stuff

humans have been doing to each other since the dawn of mankind. But it's a funny show. But it's also so disgusting and stomach-turning, you won't believe it. But it's also, like, funny. It's funny. It is the wildest, grossest, nastiest stuff you can imagine. It's a real hoot. It's called Sawbones, and we release it every week on iTunes, wherever podcasts are sold,

and right here on MaximumFun.org. Do you want to hear my second thing? Yes. My second thing is another song, and it is another choice from Spotify's Discover Weekly playlist, which I swear to God, it should just become maybe its own segment on the show. Maybe we could get those Spotify bucks. Yeah, right? They don't sponsor us, but maybe they should.

This is not, I can't stress maybe they should this is not i can't stress this enough this is not uh laziness this is not like i struggle for things to talk about like i genuinely don't feel like once i sit down and think about what i want to talk about on this show it's usually not that difficult for me to come up with stuff so this is not like uh me trying to find a fix for that it is this service provides so much music to me that like really sticks with me that like it just ends up being something that I talk about a lot, which is a long way of saying that they don't sponsor the show. So don't read too much into it. This song is called Aguas de Marco or which translates to Waters of March. or which translates to Waters of March.

This is arguably the most out there pick that maybe I have brought to the show and certainly that I have picked out of my Discover Weekly playlist because how'd you end up on there, friend? I mean, I know how you ended up on there. We talked about it a couple of weeks ago. It is a song from a Brazilian songwriter named Antonio Carlos Jobim,

who is this super talented, or was this super talented jazz musician. The song you might Antonio Carlos Jobim, who is this super talented, was this super talented jazz musician. The song you might know him best for, listener at home, he wrote Girl from Ipanema, the elevator song, alongside a billion other very, very like beloved songs. He is one of the most highly regarded Brazilian composers of all time. During the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, he was honored in the opening ceremony. He helped to sort of popularize and internationalize the bossa nova style, which is the mix of, you know, samba music and jazz music together. He helped sort of bring that across the globe.

And Aguas de Marco is very much a bossa nova song which is not like a genre it's not like my favorite genre right i don't dislike it it's just like i don't seek it out you know when it's time to listen to some tunes um to get me psyched for the big game but i have been obsessed with this song since I, I first heard it last week. And I'll kind of explain why after I play a little bit of one of the original recordings, uh, it's from 1974. It is Joe beam and,

uh, Elise Regina, uh, who are singing the song in the original Portuguese, uh, from an album they recorded called Elise and Tom. Uh, and so here's a little bit of Aguas de Marco. So this song has been covered and recorded by so many folks throughout the decades since

it was written. And a lot of English-speaking artists have covered it, too, using a translation that was actually written by Jobim himself. So this is actually the English-language version of this song, Waters of March, recorded in 1975 by Art Garfunkel. recorded in 1975 by Art Garfunkel. A point, a grain, a bee, a bite, a blink, a buzzard, a sudden stroke of night, a pin, a needle, a sting, a pain, a snail, a riddle, a wasp, a stain,

a snake, a stick, it is John, it is Joe, a fish, a flash, a silvery glow And the riverbank talks of the waters of March It's the promise of life in your heart, in your heart A snake, a stone So that's, if English is your primary language and you didn't understand the Portuguese version, which I did not, then you kind of get a feel for

what makes this song so fucking cool. It's kind of this stream of consciousness that is describing what appears to be just kind of a random assortment of errata. Like it's a stick, it's what's the left of a stump, it's a trap, it's a gun, it's just all of these different sort of, it's like a collage of these different images evoking a feeling more than describing kind of a specific thing what did you say this song came out uh it was first written in uh i believe 1971 actually okay um but it has been covered by everybody when i google or when i uh typed it into spotify to look for all the different versions of it um spotify melted my computer down through my desk because there are so, so, so many.

I was just thinking, like, what you're describing sounds very similar to kind of the beat poetry. Yeah, for sure. This stream of consciousness writing is actually something that Jobim did a lot during his career. There are some stories about how he wrote this song in the style that he wrote it because he was suffering from horrible writer's block. And this was the only way that he could sort of get his thoughts out were to put them in the most simplistic style imaginable. Not that I would call the composition of the song simplistic. I think it's brilliant and beautiful. But this sort of scattershot short burst ideas of it's this, it's this, it's this.

There's also a guitarist whose name I don't remember who said that he used it as a sort of therapy for himself, writing in this stream of consciousness style, but it's so unique. What's really interesting about the song is the waters of March inzil is a recurring period of heavy rainfall comes at the end of of every march which actually marks the end of summer in brazil because it's in the southern hemisphere their their summer runs from december to march uh and so the song somewhat describes what these rains that would flood rio de janeiro every year uh it sort of in those rains that would flood Rio de Janeiro every year, it sort of, in those rains, it would catch these different bits of flotsam and jetsam in the stream down gutters and city streets. Sometimes they were very severe and could, you know, destroy places. And the lyrics

help sort of create this imagery of these things floating by. What's really cool is the orchestration is also kind of designed with these descending series of notes to give the illusion that the song is just from start to finish, just constantly going down, which is really fucking neat. What's most fascinating about this song is how it changed in translation. Like the core metaphor of the song changed for a reason that I think is really, really cool. When Jobim wrote the English translation, he omitted certain like specific references to Brazilian culture and history to sort of make the song more accessible to, you know, other folks throughout the world. throughout the world. The bigger thing that changed is because the seasons in North America, in the Northern Hemisphere, are different from the seasons in the Southern Hemisphere.

The core sort of message of the song also changed. In Brazil, the waters of March mark the end of something. It's the end of summer. And so the song in its original version seems to be telling a story about sort of the inevitable passage of time and the brevity and beauty of life and living. But in, for instance, America, the waters of March would describe a heavy rainfall that comes at the end of winter and the beginning of spring. And so there's a different interpretation entirely. The English lyrics are a little bit rosier. Like there's references to the joy of your heart and the promise of spring like this promise of a new life beginning that's so i thought that was so fucking fascinating that he wrote this song about this seasonal occurrence and tied all of this

beautiful imagery and metaphor to it and then translated translated himself for other parts of the world where because it's a seasonal thing and seasons are different throughout the world the entire meaning of the song changed that's fucking cool as hell yeah um the whole song is really really fascinating um and i i just i really like it even though it's not sort of my the the genre that i seek out there's something about it that is just so like entrancing. I listened to it. It came up on Spotify while I was driving to daycare. And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and listen to that again. Yeah, it's a very, very good song.

What's your second thing? My second thing is the creative writing workshop. Oh, yeah. Do you ever do one of these? Do you ever take creative writing class or like a yeah segment of another class probably a segment of another class i remember i took an uh english class that was sort of focused on appalachian literature um and we did some workshops in there and i was pretty bad at it because i didn't I hadn't really experienced much anything in my whole life up to that point and so I would you know write stories about a time that you know I

fell uh down some stairs at church camp but I would try to turn it into like you know a moving a moving story uh so I I've mentioned this on show before, but when I was an undergrad, I did creative writing short fiction, which at Mizzou is a sequence of three classes. You do beginner and... I'm sorry. I know my drink's very loud. I'm trying as hard as I can. Or you would do beginner, and I honestly don't remember what my drink's very loud. I'm trying as hard as I can. Or you would do beginner.

And I honestly don't remember what the middle one was called. And then there was advanced. Intermediate? Yeah, I guess intermediate. Medium. Mild. Spicy. And then, so my English degree, I have a emphasis in creative writing, short fiction.

Yes. And then when I went to graduate school, I did poetry writing workshops. And I really appreciate the whole workshop format. So I thought I would talk about it a little bit because I feel like it's informed. You know, part of my job now is to work with people to discuss writing, you know, because we're putting together a proposal. And so I've kind of taken what I've learned in the workshop environment, kind of brought it into my just everyday conversations with other people about their writing.

Broad strokes. Are we talking about an environment where you share your work with other people and then everybody gives you feedback? Because I've never fucking done that. I take it back. I have never done that. Are you kidding me?

Too scared. So I found, because I was trying to find a way to summarize this kind of succinctly and i found a 2009 new yorker article called show or tell should creative writing be taught just as it sounds a very critical yeah um but the the description i liked is uh the workshop is a process an unscripted performance space a regime for forcing people to do two things that are fundamentally

contrary to human nature, actually write stuff as opposed to planning to write stuff very, very soon, and then sit there while strangers tear it apart. There is one person in the room, the instructor, who has usually published a poem. But workshop protocol requires the instructor to shepherd the discussion, not to lead it. And in any case, the instructor is either a product of the same process, a person with an academic degree in creative writing, or a successful writer who has had no training as a teacher of anything, and who's probably grimly or jovially skeptical of the premise on which the whole enterprise is based, that creative writing is something that can be taught. That's mean a little bit. Yeah, it's definitely harsh. But I feel like it really kind of gets at the process. So the big thing that people in the creative writing community talk about is the Iowa Writers Workshop, which was founded in 1936 and has since become the gold standard for creative writing workshops.

I haven't even heard of this. Yeah, so the Iowa Writers Workshop is kind of the most competitive MFA program in the country. And because of that, they've had 17 winners of the Pulitzer Prize, six recent US Poet Laureates, and numerous winners of the National Book Award, MacArthur Foundation Fellowships. Jesus. And now they claim, and it's true, we pick the cream of the crop. So it's not a huge surprise to us. It's not like we turn them into champions.

We don't necessarily take credit for that. That's a surprising amount of humility for somebody who's cranked out a dozen Pulitzer and MacArthur grant winners. You gotta get in this fucking club, babe. I know. Well, so this is the thing. I mean, you do...

A podcast, and then you send it to them and they let you in you do have to live in iowa which is not something i've ever particularly wanted to do and i'm not i think it's beautiful but like we're pretty tied down here i mean i bashed fredericksburg earlier so let's go ham what do you really think um the thing about an mfa is it is a terminal it's considered a terminal degree So if you want to go teach at a university, creative writing, you can do that with an MFA. You don't have to have a PhD, although there are PhDs in creative writing now. Terminal degree means there's nothing after it.

Yeah. It means that, that you can teach a college level course with that degree. So a lot of people that continue to kind of do the workshop process have MFAs themselves, which is what that quote was referencing. So the ideal result of the workshop is that authors come away with insights into the strengths and weaknesses of their own work, and then the class as a whole derives some insight, whether general or specific, about the process of writing. And so here's what I like about it. I mean, it is a painful process.

Like you really have to go in kind of with some armor on because what happens, at least in my previous workshops, is that everybody would read your stuff like usually the night before or sometimes the hour before. And then they would come and discuss it. And you would sit in the room and the instructor would kind of facilitate the conversation. And everybody would kind of start with like, oh, I liked this. And this was really good. And I thought this was strong.

And then maybe the next 25 minutes was like, I didn't get that. This didn't make sense to me. I had somebody in a workshop once, and I will never forget this man. He tore apart something I was writing, and when pressed as to why he didn't like it, he was like, you know, I just don't think I can really relate to anything that's written in a female voice. And I was like, oh, great. All right. So I lost you from minute one, didn't I?

Yeah. Well, he lost at everything, it sounds like. Yeah. The world lost lost at everything, it sounds like. Yeah. The world lost him at some point. But I've also had it go really well. I had a short story that I wrote in one of my workshops, and the instructor really loved it. And about half the class kind of missed what I was doing, but the instructor and the other half of the class really got it. Yeah, the smart ones.

really got it yeah the smart one it was really rewarding to kind of have that experience and get to kind of witness other people kind of discover oh that's what you're doing that's really cool well and the best part is then you have a product that not product but a work that is ostensibly better than you could have made it on your own yeah which is very satisfying we kind of i guess kind of have done this with the graphic novel, which has gone through like so many rounds of editing of this thing that now we have done that we recorded three and a half, four years ago. And so like having people criticize it is like, whoa, not criticize it, but like try to find the best way for it to be. Well, you found out, I know we've had conversations where there are things about the story that you have kind of discovered through having these conversations. Yeah. Which I think is tremendously valuable.

So I feel like now when I'm talking with people about writing or really anything creative that they do, I've kind of learned how to have productive conversations. Yeah, which is a valuable skill that serves you well in all kinds of parts of life. Yeah. Like if you have an artistic friend of any kind to be able to kind of think critically about what they did and what you think they were trying to do in ways that they might more effectively communicate with you, uh,

is huge and super valuable. So I, I am a big fan of the process and it's something I actually miss participating in, but I will say it's difficult if you are sensitive about your work and also feel very strongly about the choices you made because a lot of times people will misinterpret them and you will just dig your heels in like they just didn't get it. Or the other scenario is they're right and you're wrong. And that's maybe even worse. Well, I mean, right and wrong are such...

No, there's good books and bad books. Yeah, I guess that's true. Honest to God, I did think of one creative writing workshop I was in. Okay. I was 10. Oh, all right. I was in tag class, talented and gifted. Thank you, both things.

Thank you for asking. Good grades, yeah, thanks. And I was there. it was me and my friend, Rachel Bailey. Um, and she was taking a look at a little thing I had whips up called Grant Andrews kid cop. Oh my gosh. You shared that. Yeah. Oh, we had to. I thought that was just a treat for your family. No, no, no. We had to share with the class. So everybody gave me some notes. Yes. There was one part where Grant Andrews' adult cop partner Grant Andrews' adult cop partner, Eddie, falls off a roof.

And he yells, no! Which I stylized by making no all caps. Rachel looked at that, and she said, this shouldn't be all caps. Rachel looked at that. She said, this shouldn't be all caps. And I said, I am never doing another creative writing workshop for as long as I live. So just the capitalization suggestion devastated you. Really tore me up. Really tore me up. Now as an adult, I see. But no, I don't see. Sorry, Rachel Bailey, because if you're reading a book and it says no my adult cop partner fell off the roof did she make an argument as to why she thought it should not just look weird on the

page which could have been any an issue with the word processor the kerning i don't know but it wasn't my fault my creative choice was very good as were all my creative choices in that book like the fact that ed Eddie was then saved while he was falling by a hovering motorbike called Jet Moto, which was also the name of a PlayStation game I was very much into. Hey, can I tell you about something I wrote when I was 10 years old? Fuck yeah. I started writing a novel.

Yes. This was not for school. This was just my fun time. Even better. It was going to be called, oh gosh, what was the first word? It was something. It was about an ice cream cone it was called tess colon a flood water fiasco whoa i think you've told me about this before yeah so there were big floods of the mississippi that summer and i became really interested in the idea of like what would it be like to be displaced by a flood? So I started trying to write a story.

Cool and privileged and neat. Wouldn't it be fun to be displaced by a horrible flood? What would that be like? Yeah, no. So I tried to write a story from the perspective of a girl approximately my age experiencing this. I think I got a few pages in and then abandoned the short work. Because you said this is hugely problematic. I know. You said this is deeply, deeply problematic. I think I got a few pages in and then abandoned the short work. Because you said this is hugely problematic. I know.

You said this is deeply, deeply problematic. I know. Not like Grant Andrews' Kid Cop. That's a crowd pleaser. I referenced the ice cream cone thing, and I thought you would take the bait, and you didn't, and I'm heartbroken. It's difficult to describe. It's okay if you don't want to talk about it.

I will say. Because I'll talk about it and put you right on the blast. Let's briefly talk about it. I will say. Because I'll talk about it and put you right on the blast. Let's briefly talk about it. In second grade. Did you get any creative writing workshop help on this poem? Are you going to let me talk about it? Please talk about it. In second grade, we were participating in a discussion of ice cream.

And so we all ate ice cream. And then we, as a group, kind of had a conversation about what adjectives would be appropriate for ice cream. And so we all ate ice cream. And then we as a group, kind of had a conversation about what adjectives would be appropriate for ice cream. And then we were all tasked with writing our own ice cream poem. So I wrote an ice cream poem that my teacher thought was exceptional. And she wanted me to read it for this promotional video they were doing for the style of instruction. Can I pause the story here to add sort of like a framing device is me and our group of friends here in Austin learned about this because we had a claim to fame party, which by the way, do one of these.

It's the most fucking fun party ever. You just have somebody bring their claim to fame of like a thing that they did when they were younger, maybe that they are most famous for. It is an illuminating way to get to know your friends. Rachel gets up there to the VCR, plugs this bad boy in and says, here's a poem I wrote when I was in second grade. So here's the thing. So the video was supposed to be used

across the school district for instructional purposes for teachers that were interested in engaging their kids more in like English language classes. A very good idea for, and a good poem. And you were cute as the dickens get out of here. So the poem begins with, I am starting at the tempting top of my ice cream. I think it was tip.

I don't want to, I don't want to, you know, Monday morning quarterback here. And then I say, and I am working my way down. And then I say things like, oh, it's so creamy. It's dribbling down my knuckles. Like literally y'all. And Rachel didn't know. That's the best part of the story. Back to the framing device.

Everybody at this party is watching this video and looking at each other like. And Rachel's like, yeah yeah it was a good poem and we're like it's a a hundred years of solitude like full-blown non-stop evocative imagery anyway um was it a hundred years or a thousand years a hundred yeah that's my favorite books i know it's a good one uh yeah so so this this only exists in vhs forms so don't go looking for it on the internet yeah no we would not it was like the year was 1990 the internet didn't exist i'll be honest it wasn't like so over the top that it was like unbelievable but your reaction to finding out in that moment like hey this poem was a little bit dirty uh was one of the funniest things i've ever experienced with a big

group of friends like that i think i brought peace on the playground too so nobody got out of that one unscathed uh hey do you want to hear some submissions from our friends at home yes playing the home game of wonderful crystal says my wonderful thing is a japanese show called my first errand it's a hidden camera show where the parents have their preschoolers run an errand, usually to the corner store to get some food item, completely by themselves for the first time. I watched it a little bit. There's like a camera person there.

So they don't, yeah, they don't like send a toddler out. I don't know. They sent a link that was like Daily Motion or something like that. Episodes are usually about 10 minutes long. And watching the parents celebrate what their kids can do. The little kids figuring out how to navigate their world. And the encouragement of folks along their journey is delightful. I did watch a little bit of this.

Justin and Sydney would love this show. I think anybody would enjoy this show. It is a very good idea for a show. Justine says, something I think is wonderful is a squeeze top on a salad dressing bottle. I like the security of reaching for a particularly liquidy or oily dressing and knowing that it has its own built-in flow control so I won't waste lots of product.

And you won't waste lots of salad. Getting it all wet. That is the perfect kind of submission. Yeah. Gets in there. Lets you know about a trivial thing that when you really think about it is incredibly important yes and gets right out thank you justine clementine says hi i'm studying abroad in southern spain right now where tapas small appetizers like cured ham or fried potatoes are

served with drinks at night they're delicious even more so because they're free. The last thing there kind of surprised me. I've had many a tapas here in the States and none of them have ever been free. No, it's like a whole restaurant. In fact, most of the time, these bad boys are pretty expensive. Yeah. When you compare the food to dollar ratio, the mass to dollar ratio, I should say. You know, if somebody owes them in a restaurant and just called it like just apps probably a little cheaper

yeah but like here tapas is like exotic and so people pay more that is true um man but I want to eat

some fried potatoes and small appetizers right now anyway uh this has been the episode you know what else I want to eat

an Oreo cookie from Nabisco uh thank you so much to nabisco thank you so much spotify spotify our sponsor for the billion dollars going by big yacht with two pools on it and thank you so much at home for listening to wonderful thank you to bowen and augustus for the use of our theme song, Money Won't Pay. You can find a link to that in the episode description. Thanks to MaximumFun.org for hosting Wonderful. Yeah, dude.

Yeah, they hosted us. And they continue to host us. They do continue. And they got lots of great, great shows on there, like Lady to Lady and Switchblade Sisters and Beef and Dairy Network. Minority Corner. Minority Corner. Flophouse. Flophouse.

Flophouse. And if you want to hear more stuff that we do, you can go to macroyshows.com and see all our audio and video. Less of that second thing these days because I changed my job. So I guess that's going to do it. This is nice.

Isn't it nice when you can just sit together without saying anything? Yeah. And because you're trying to think of a funny thing to say and you can't. But you know it's okay because they're still going to love you in the morning. You want to talk more about that bunk bed toilet? Yeah. I know you're wondering, one flusher or two flushers on it? If you're really in love and you're really compatible, you only need one flusher to flush both toilets at the same time. Think about it. Think about whether or not that

would factor into your love life or not. And if it's not, get the hell out of there, folks. This has been our romance show. Bye. Working on it, money won't pay. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. Hi, I'm Allie Gertz. And I'm Julia Prescott, and we're the hosts of Everything's Coming Up Simpsons. Listener supported. Best! And we've also had people that are on the MaxFun network already. Homer wearing that golf outfit is so funny. And when he gets super into golf, he's wearing the golf hat in bed. In bed! We've had Weird Al Yankovic on the show.

I was just struck by how sharp the writing is. I mean, that's no surprise because it's The Simpsons. But, I mean, you can't say that about a lot of TV shows, particularly ones that at that point have been on the air for 14 years. Find us on MaximumFun.org, iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right. Smell you later.