Wonderful! - Wonderful! Ep. 50: Perfect Porridge

Episode Date: September 13, 2018

Griffin's favorite sound! Rachel's favorite crunchy guitar music! Griffin's favorite toaster pastry! Rachel's favorite social trait! Music: "Money Won't Pay" by bo en and Augustus - https://open.spotify.com/album/7n6zRzTrGPIHt0kRvmWoya MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

🎵 Test 1, Test 2. Is it too quiet? Is it too quiet? Is it too loud? Perfect porridge. Perfect baby bear porridge. Check 1. Perfect porridge. quiet is it too loud perfect porridge perfect baby bear porridge check one perfect porridge i'm getting myself in your microphone perfect porridge dialing you down dialing you down mama bear mike daddy bear mike looking for the perfect the perfect porridge hello check one and that's an industry term when you get the perfect porridge, like... I really like that. Yeah.

Like, you know, you get the obsessive sort of MCs who mix the albums together. They're always looking for that perfect porridge. Hi, this is Griffin McElroy. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. And this is wonderful. So this is a show about things that we're really into. And what I'm really into, I'll start off, my small wonder is that good audio, that nice clean mix, that pee-pee, as we say, sometimes when we shorten it down. How are you doing? We're doing a midday record.

I'm good, actually. I feel energized, ready to go. Had some good morning coffee ready to go. I love morning coffee morning coffee yeah the hot bean juice when the sun comes up you pour that down what is your favorite folgers commercial i think mine is the one where it's christmas and the woman comes up to the man in there in the kitchen and their brother and sister and she puts the bow on him and he's like, what's this for? And she's like, you being home is all I wanted for Christmas. Oh. That's a good one.

You get all the love commercials like the romantic love commercials when they're trying to sell a product but that sibling camaraderie, oh, that's good stuff. And the holidays too. That's another small wonder of mine. You got any small wonders?

You know what? I'm just gonna to say glasses. Sure. The kind you wear on your face. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. I, like Griffin, kind of feel like glasses are a good look on me. And, you know, I don't obviously put a lot of, I don't want to say obviously, but I don't put a lot of effort into my appearance in the morning. Obviously, it's harsh.

Yeah, it is harsh. But when I put glasses on, in the morning. Obviously, it's harsh. Yeah, it is harsh. But when I put glasses on, I feel like, well, that's something. Yeah, sure. That's a look I've created. I enjoy glasses. I do think around once I hit like 40, I might switch. I might switch the contacts. Yeah.

You've got kind of a baby face. I have kind of a baby face, and I'm getting this sort of salt and pepper thing going on in the sides of my hair that I kind of like no glasses. Just those baby blues and the silvery silver. I will say your eyes stand out a lot more when you're not wearing glasses. I know. I feel like a lot of people don't appreciate your eyes. And it's because you've hidden them with the glasses. And it doesn't help that the glasses are almost certainly covered in sort of rice cakes residue.

You always got a film of baby. Whatever the baby has touched recently. This Yeti. I got a Yeti tumbler from the REI. It is giving me life. Griffin has been on the quest for the perfect travel coffee mug since I've known him. And this is it. This is it.

I can say definitely. It's got a clear cap so I can look down and see exactly how much of the hot bean juice i do have left uh it keeps my shit it is 12 16 this stuff is like still toasty it's like above lukewarm like it's still pleasant to drink and we you we made it five hours ago that's good stuff and um uh i've been listening to friends at the table again it's a podcast uh yeah i mean i stopped listening to more or less all podcasts when i got very very busy but now that our commute to daycare is very very long i've been tucking back in and uh they just finished their most recent season uh called um twilight mirage uh and it's really fucking good i'm really into it i'm like 18 episodes in i've listened to all the other seasons too but um uh yeah i'm just

just now getting caught up and it's it's fantastic if you haven't listened it's like an actual play podcast and it's kind of incredible how much like world building they do in each episode like if you introduce a character and friends at the table it's like and here's their whole history and here's how they fit into the context of this whole world so it's like it's in a way like more uh dense than other like actual play podcasts but i mean that in a good way in the way that like diamonds are dense we're like everything is so rich and so i think it like requires you to like kind of kind of commit to the to the listen um but if you do holy shit it is like some of the most rewarding like fiction i i have tucked into

uh the you know the past four years or so that i've been listening to it i don't actually know how long i've been listening to it but it's great it's a great show it's a lot of small wonders huh yeah you got any more no that's that's good for me who goes first this week i think it's you sorry i'm getting a hum and it's it's like a bug in the porridge and i don't like it but um my first thing this week is harmony e harmony the dating website this is bad either way you land yeah sure no i'm talking about regular old harmony um you know what i was thinking yesterday yeah please my hope is that our son will meet your harmony needs. Okay.

That he will have the ability to harmonize with you because it is not a skill that I have. You make it sound like I am always coming up to you and being like, I'm right here. I really only do that for jokes on the podcast sometimes. And it's been a while. It's been a while since I've done it. I guess I genuinely do like good harmony. Oh, I know.

Did you ever sing in like a choir or a show or anything like that where you had to sing harmonies? That is part of the problem. My experience with singing basically stopped after I left elementary school. I became a band kid and I was formally in the band universe where the harmony was decided for me. And I made the sound on an instrument. I was in the choir universe. I did choir classes all the way up to high school. And that's when I started doing more freeform instrument classes. And you took vocal lessons, didn't you?

I took vocal lessons when I was horting the elephant in Seussical. Because it was a very demanding role. I did for Oliver as well, actually. So yeah, a couple times I did. So that was the other main exposure. I had to choral vocal harmonies is from shows. And you get a there's a really genuinely incredible feeling you get when you create a good harmony with somebody. I've heard that a lot of people I know, like joined acapella groups specifically for that rush of harmony. Yeah, that's why you join a group like that

it's why you join a choir it's why a lot of people are enthusiastic about being in choir because it genuinely it feels like magic like creating something that is that pleasant to listen to and it is a communal sort of artistic expression um what has kind of inspired me to talk about this is we have been listening to a lot of like disney on Spotify lately. We have like this Disney playlist we tune into when we are, we are hanging out with Henry and there's unsurprisingly like a lot of really great harmony in, in a lot of like classic Disney songs and newer Disney songs. So like the one specifically that I've had stuck in my head is from frozen of

all movies. I've seen that movie like twice and I enjoy it, but like there's a song in it called love is an open door that just has this two-part harmony between these two characters that is like in the chorus that is so fucking good i'll play a little bit of it now but just like a little bit of it because i, my background is in theater. Like a lot of my favorite harmonies come from shows like Into the Woods. Some of my favorite actually like of all time comes from Spring Awakening. There are so many great, brilliant,

like huge group harmonies in that show. And I'll probably play something from that right now. I don't know what, but here's something from spring awakening. It's like my favorite thing in music. And so i wanted to talk about the science of harmony why do why why does a c and a g sound good together i'd like that um and this is it's super fucking complicated and i'm not even talking about the music theory uh which i've i've been taking adult piano classes uh recently which i don't know if i've talked about on the show before but you have uh because i wanted to learn how to play piano good like i've been composing music for adventure zone

for a long time but i actually can't sit down and play that stuff back on a piano i do it in a in a doll and a like logic uh so i can like move shit around in a piano roll but i can't actually sit down and play it live so i wanted to do that but i also wanted to learn some theory and i've been doing that in this this class and it's cool i don't want to talk about the music theory of it because i would get that almost certainly wrong i want to talk about the science of it which i will definitely get wrong because it's interesting right like why does a note right which moves at a certain uh frequency or amplitude or or whatever uh sound good with another specific note a certain number of intervals away um so here here is i'm going to

read some stuff off the wikipedia article about harmony uh which is still very very complex uh harmony is based on consonants right consonants and dissonance when you have like a dissonant thing it doesn't sound good a consonant thing does a concept whose definition has changed various times during the history of Western music. Awesome, great. Lock it down, y'all. In a psychological approach, consonance is a continuous variable. Consonance can vary across a wide range.

A chord may sound consonant for various reasons. Why do we have this word if it doesn't fucking mean anything? I feel like everything you just said doesn't make any sense to me. Okay, so, like, why does a C major triad sound good, right? C-E-G. mean anything i feel like everything you just said doesn't make any sense to me okay so like why does a c major triad sound good right c e g it's like the most basic chord yeah um the first reason is because between those three notes in that triad there is a lack of what is called perceptual roughness so when you have two notes like two polyphonic notes that you play at the same time uh your ear tries to

pick out the different notes being played simultaneously and there are certain intervals that are harder to pick out those notes okay um i have the op1 which i talked about i got uh i ordered and finally got in uh earlier this week so i want to play like an example but i mean you play any three notes like yeah That has a lot of perceptual roughness because that's your ear like trying to pick those notes apart, but you can't really do it. So it doesn't sound super good. Meanwhile, like this is the... Oh, wait, I put an extra note because I'm holding this. That's a C major triad and it sounds good because you can pick out what those notes are. are you know the one three

five they are a pleasing number of intervals that is my cursory read of what the science of this says so that's the first thing there's a lack of roughness so the second reason that a chord sounds good is because it uh creates perceptual fusion which means that uh the notes that make up that chord, this is a quote from Wikipedia, and I'll try to explain it, is an overall spectrum is similar to a harmonic series, which is a sequence of sounds where the frequency of each sound is an integer multiple of the lowest frequency being played. This is very complicated, and i'm not even sure i

understand it but basically the math of like the frequencies of the various notes if the math is good then it sounds good but the honestly the biggest reason is because of familiarity like there are chords that have been heard throughout music throughout time that just like a c major chord sounds good because you've heard it a fucking billion times. This reminds me of like the way people just like symmetry. Like people tend to like more symmetrical faces. Like there's just something kind of built into us to look for certain. Yeah. And I mean, there's, there's mathematical reasons for that as well. So there's, there's a lot of reasons why a chord sounds good, why a harmony sounds good. I don't know.

I just find that shit really interesting. Not only does it sound good, but who was the first person to sing? And then who was the second person to sing along with that first person? It was like, oh, that sounded nice. And why did they know it sounded nice? And why did that become the way we listen to music

and think that this harmony sounds nice while this one does not sound nice. I don't know. I find that stuff like really, really interesting. And I understand, I want to say, I fucked that all up. I understand none of this, but I tried my best.

Obviously, I really appreciate harmony and it blows me away the way some people just can hear a note and can harmonize with it. Yeah. And if that's like a learned skill or if some people are just naturally better at it than others, I don't know. I don't know either.

Anyway, that's Harmony. What's your first thing? So my first thing is from a band that we both like, Darwin Dees. Darwin Dees. They had a new album come out in August called 10 Songs That Happened you left me with my stupid heart that's a very very very darwin d's ass album title right uh we we're familiar with them from um a their self-titled album that came out in 2010 uh they are an indie band from new york city

uh signed to a music label and lucky number and the the group's front man, Darwin Dees is Darwin Merwin Smith. He grew up in Chapel Hill, attended Westland and, uh, moved to New York. Is Westland in New York? I don't actually know. Uh,

Connecticut. Okay. Darwin Dees is like a super poppy, fun, like it's a fun live show because they get really into it. They, they do some choreography. Uh, there's a lot of good energy. Um, but it's a fun live show because they get really into it they they do some choreography uh there's a lot of good energy um but it's also like just a really poppy fun up-tempo music uh

and it's a band that i heard at south by southwest in 2011 uh actually the same year that i met griffin uh and then introduced griffin to and then it kind of became this shared thing for us. Yeah. But the first song I want to bring is actually off their new album, and it's called Say It First. When you won't say it first Don't just say it, don't just say it back to me

I need words, use your words to love me actively. Act as if you're actually attracted to me. Say it first, baby girl. Say it first. His lyrics tend to be very romantically focused. And heartbroken. Almost all of the songs are about a relationship that has but also like like lyrically really fun um i was reading this review um of the uh second album they had and there was a criticism that said that their music explores the ambiguous, tense relationship

between love and hate, which I feel like is a good way of speaking to that. The song that is actually they're referring to is off of Songs for Imaginative People, You Can't Be My Girl, where there's a line that says, I think I love you are horrible. Yeah. Pitchfork, in the review of that album, talked about how they have this ability to write awkward but cutesy earworms, similar to bands like Passion Pit. I just love the guitar. Yeah, that's very good, too.

There's a consistent guitar sound that is like really like crunchy and filtered out that I just like I'm obsessed with. And then a song like DNA off the first album that is like very stripped down. It's like just that crunchy, soft guitar. It is so fucking good. It's very good. Yeah. It's very good. Yeah.

Yeah, but it has this kind of energy that just reminds me a lot of like, you know, like Ben Folds, like very like kind of complex lyrics, but very like peppy pop. Yeah. Potential. But I also wanted to play the song that I think has a lot of meaning to me and Griffin, which is Radar Detector. It was one of the first songs that we kind of shared together. And there's a line that I just, I don't know, it just always makes me think of the beginning of our relationship when he says, it's only been a week, but I know that you are mine to keep. Yeah. Which just kind of speaks to that kind of enthusiasm early in a relationship where you're just kind of riding on this energy. It's a very fun music video also. Yeah. So I wanted to play a little of that kind of enthusiasm early in a relationship where you're just kind of riding on this energy. It's a very fun music video also.

Yeah, so I wanted to play a little of that too. You and I go shopping And find exactly what we're looking for You and I go shopping And fall asleep inside a mattress store. Yeah. We cruise the neighborhood. But it's not supposed to feel this good.

You are a radar detector. But yeah, I would really recommend them they tour a lot i when i was doing research i couldn't find a lot of interviews uh because it seems like they they are just always touring promoting whatever album they they just recently released their choreographed dances for their live shows are also very choice i tried to find more information about darwin smith uh the front man and i found all these interviews and the interviews are always really light and i just found one where he talked about how he never washes his hair and that's how he maintains his signature curls okay but that was like all i could find so uh i encourage you to check them out they're on spotify uh itunes etc uh, can I steal you away?

I'm not going to beat last week. You're really not. Tremendous pressure to try and beat last week. It spiraled me into like what other songs. I know. I was thinking the same thing of like what can we pull? But then I didn't want it to be expected, you know? It could be like.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. expected you know it could be like perfect look at the waveform on that one that's no good look at that that sucks that's gonna sound really Look at that. That sucks. That's going to sound really bad. Anyway. Griffin, I have some personal messages. Should we really be reading them? They're not between us. Is that a secret personal message? Did you hack someone and get their personal in Gmail?

No. Okay. This message is for Lily. It is from Zoe. Falling in love with you has been the greatest thing I've ever done. Know that no matter what, I'll always choose you. You're my other half, my favorite person, my inspiration, my best friend, my rock, and my soulmate. Enjoy this message from your favorite podcasters. You deserve it. You are are wonderful let's keep getting better together i love you and who is that from again it's from zoe that's the zoe that did the big motorcycle flip over the gorge

i think so like i'm sure your love is great the best thing you've ever done you did the big flip over the big pit and you did two flips actually in the air and landed it perfectly and you saved all the kids from the bus. I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm just saying, they said, our love's the best thing I've ever done. And it's like, you did the big flip over the pit and you saved all the kids from the bus.

Oh, it's that silly. Yeah. That did the big flip. Uh-huh, over. Yeah, over the pit. And? And saved the kids from the bus. So like the love is good,

but let's just not jump to conclusions. Well, Lily is a lucky person. Yeah, I guess so. To be with the person who did the bus. So like the love is good, but let's just not jump to conclusions. Well, Lily is a lucky person. Yeah, I guess so. To be with the person who did the flip over the pit. Like the bus. The bus. This message is for Lisa and Michael

and it is from Stephanie. Although we don't spend nearly enough time together, I wanted you both to know how much your friendship has meant to me. I don't have many strong men in my life, both of you are hilarious authentic and kind let the world know the awesome power of these two very good lads let's get chinatown ramen soon and cry to sufjan stevens my favorite my favorite activity you throw on carrie and lowell you get your big bowl of ramen your tears are gonna fall in there at a certain umami flavor and really those sufjan tears are just the most

umami of all i can't get enough of it hello are you looking for a new comedy podcast in which case can i draw your attention to the beef and dairy network. It's a fictional industry podcast for the beef and dairy industries. It won Best Comedy at the 2017 British Podcast Awards and it features wonderful guests such as Greg Davis. To my knowledge, it's the only cow circus that's ever existed in this country.

In rural Russia, every small town has a cow circus. Josie Long. You should have a beef. Have a beef with them. I have a beef with you. I will have a beef with you. Have a beef with them. I have a beef with you. I will have a beef with you. Come round my house and I'll have a beef with you. And Andy Daly. That virus never existed. There was never any such thing as a mad cow disease. That was all an illusion

that Big Lamb came up with. That's the Beef and Dairy Network podcast. Find us at maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts from. And I would recommend starting at episode one. Bye. Would you like to know my second thing? Yes. Pop-tarts! What was that? I was telling you about pop-tarts. I mean, how excited I am about them. It sounded like somebody just drove by our house selling Pop-Tarts. Oh, God, I wish. Like the ice cream vendor, but with Pop-Tarts. And they could have like a little toaster gun.

And so I could just like open up the window and they'd be like, Pop-Tarts. And I'd be like, yeah. And they would just pop them right in. I love Pop-Tarts. I know we talk about breakfast food a lot, but I just I'm always excited to eat a Pop-Tart. We never had Pop-Tarts at the house I grew up in. And so Pop-Tarts were and continue to be an exotic little pastry. I feel the same way. They are so good.

I may have had one this morning in a box I found in the back of our pantry that I don't know how long it's been there. I was going to say, I didn't know we had Pop-Tarts. It had art on it for uh destiny 2 and i bought this game came out last september and i remember i did get some because they had like a code for some shit on it that means this came from our last house they're year old i ate anyway they're still really good and i got sort of sugar high that i'm still riding on um and here's a confession. I am so excited to eat Pop-Tarts when I see them.

A lot of times, I do not even toast them. I don't know that I've ever had a toasted Pop-Tart. You're kidding me. I just always eat them right out the box. They're still good. I mean, they're better when they're toasted. Everything in there softens up in a way that is really delightful. What's your fave flavor?

Let's talk about it. Let's go to the flavor corner. I mean, every day if I had to eat a Pop-Tart, I would eat a brown sugar cinnamon. Shame. But I do like the little- That sounded like I said shame. It was me saying same, but I lispeted for some reason.

I also, but if I'm looking for like a fun out of the box treat, I like the little strawberry with the sprinkles. I'm glad we're on the same page on this. Yes, of the box treat. Yep. I like the little strawberry with the sprinkles. Yes. I'm glad we're on the same page on this. Yes. Of course we are. But I don't know that I would ever choose it as a breakfast option. I actually like it as a dessert or a snack. Yeah. Before sort of the rise

of Cliff Bars and I guess Nature Valley Granola Bars, but those were pretty busted for I feel like a long time. I don't like a crunchy granola. Anyway, this would be like my go-to road trip like i need something to chew on in the car to like fill my belly up for the next hour it would be pop tarts i love them here's some history about pop tarts and stop me if this sounds familiar this is a kellogg's product um but in the 60s post figured out how to package stuff in foil uh so that it would not spoil as quickly.

They actually started doing this with dog food. But then they introduced toaster-prepared breakfast pastries that would sort of go along with their cereal offerings. And they sort of announced it in the early 60s. But it wasn't until 1963 that they took this product to market. They called their product country squares what is country about them no but that's a really not the most flavors used to be do you have that information i do not have it because very shortly before they even put them

in the marketplace they announced something like check this out these are called country squares and they're gonna taste like grass and fucking kellogg saw this and they're like oh well we'll just make those two oh is this like oreo and hijacks like oreo and hijacks so six months later kellogg figured out how to do their own version uh and they started advertising it with an animated anthropomorphic toaster named milton just crushing it and And they were selling these Pop-Tarts so fast that they could not keep up with demand. Sorry, Post. You slept on it, Post, didn't you? Can we see that?

Do you have a little toaster guy? Because that could be our wonderful t-shirt. I mean, Kellogg's might have something to say about that. Oh, look at him. Oh, look at him. Can I see him? Yeah, he's like a little clown he's got big bold eyebrows little rosy cheeks like plunger on the toaster is is red he's got rosy rosy cheeks he's

cute so uh they they they sort of ate uh posts well pop-tart um and uh they couldn't keep up with demand and that's wild to me that they couldn't keep up with demand because when they first launched pop-tarts they were not frosted can you imagine people are always looking for breakfast on the go options i guess so but like nobody has time to sit down at a table and eat a full breakfast anymore they want something like they can take on the road sure sure and i mean it I mean, it's the 60s, the rat race, I get it. But no frosting, Kellogg's. They didn't put frosting on it until 1964. And simply because like, they didn't know that frosting would survive the toasting process. But then I guess they solved that with science. And the first frosted Pop-Tarts were released in 67. They had four flavors, strawberry, blueberry, brown sugar, cinnamon, and apple currant.

And now there's like, you know, hot fudge sundae, s'mores, peanut butter. There's a ton of different flavor options. So they crushed it. Pop-Tarts are great. They figured it out. It was awesome. They weren't satisfied with just that. And this kicked off a generation of experimentation that was just disastrous for these little pastries.

I would like to take you through the museum of Pop-Tart failure. So in the mid-90s, they introduced pastry swirls, which were basically toaster strudels, which please, toaster strudels have a place in our society. And I have eaten them maybe six times. And don't regret it, but do not say... They would have the commercials where the kid would open up the... A lot of commercials talking in this one, but the kid would open up the locker and all the Pop-Tarts would fall out and be like, fuck you, dude.

Eat those Pop-Tarts. They're still Pop-Tarts. Do you know what I mean? Like he would open up a backpack and like a million Pop-Tarts would come out and be like, I wouldn't eat that trash with my horse in his mouth. Oh, so the Toaster Strudel was supposed to be a more refined, superior product? Right. And that's a joke to me.

No, they're two different things. They're two different things. But anyway uh Kellogg did dip into this market I think Pillsbury started making toaster strudels in like the mid-80s uh so these were big thick pop tarts they had less icing they came in flavors like uh cherry cheese danish cinnamon cream they did not do very well they were discontinued in 2001 they introduced snack sticks in 2002 which i kind of remember which were these like break apart pop tarts that were like supposed to be an after-school snack for kids uh they promoted this on american idol with like this huge ad buy nobody bought them they were discontinued so they were just like perforated pop tTarts. Exactly. They were Pop-Tart Kit Kats, which like Pop-Tarts, you can, Pop-Tarts aren't hard to break apart. 2005, they made ice cream shop flavors, which had like ice cream flavors and 25% less sugar.

Those were discontinued in 2012. So you got a good seven years of those. 2006, they made Go Tarts, which were thicker, narrow, and wrapped individually instead of packages of two, which were discontinued in 2008. That's the whole fucking point, guys, is wrapped individually instead of packages of two, which were discontinued in 2008. That's the whole fucking point, guys, is I want two of them. Well, and they are so certain that people want a smaller Pop-Tart. It's wild to me.

Like, oh, maybe this was back when the iPod kept getting smaller and smaller. That's what it was. And they were like, America wants smaller. Let's make Pop-Tarts, but littler. Nobody's ever picked up a Pop-Tart and been like, how am I even fucking supposed to hold this? Oh, it's so heavy. It's so heavy.

I want to be able to fit it in my front pocket. 2007, they made Pop-Tarts Splits with a Z, which were two separate flavors combined in one pastry. So like chocolate and vanilla, strawberry, blueberry. I remember this. This was okay. This made it to 2012. So five years of those.

And then in 2011, there pop tarts mini crisps which were get this tiny bite-sized versions of pop tarts with no fruit filling only flavored pastry with frosting they are currently discontinued why y'all this is what i'm saying y'all got it in one by which i mean stole it definitely from post and then you were like all right i've got it smaller and one of them and no fruit fill what the fuck did they release something called fills which was just the filling you scraped it out of a bag um anyway uh they're great oh also there was the whole thing about uh there was a guy who who uh caught fire Pop-Tarts with his toaster because he left it in for too long. There was, in 1994, a Texas A&M professor did an experiment where he put a strawberry Pop-Tart in the toaster and just saw what happened.

And it produced flames over a foot high. Oh, my gosh. So these don't have very much nutritional value. Apparently, they are essentially starter logs. You know what? They're also dairy-free. Oh, gosh. So these don't have very much nutritional value. Apparently they are essentially starter logs, but- You know what? They're also dairy free. Oh, interesting. At least the brown sugar cinnamon ones are.

That makes sense. Back when I was avoiding dairy, it was exciting to have a dessert treat that I could get. That's probably what? Like a short crust with like, and the frosting probably has no, no, yeah. It's just weird that there's no butter involved. Yeah. I mean, there's, we have, we have ways of figuring that out anyway i apologize you're good what's your second thing my second thing so you remember when i did curiosity sure the mars rover i love that guy well it's also a

personality trait that's what i'm saying uh charisma interesting now okay you're gonna say everybody likes charisma uh carpenter from uh buffy and angel yeah she did a great job in those shows and um yeah proud of her uh but i i so i did a little investigating because charisma is one of those things that i find really exciting as like an introvert um because when somebody brings charisma to the table it like does some of the work for me what's interesting is like when i think about the people that you and i talk about like only kind of friends who we've met like only just a few times that are very memorable it's because they're extremely charismatic exactly that is so exciting so i found a quiz online that i would like you to take to determine whether or not you're an especially charismatic person okay

you're gonna need a calculator okay i need a calculator for this yeah if you can pull it up on your computer okay so this is the journal of personality and social psychology okay uh developed uh six prompts that can reveal how charismatic you are uh rate yourself on a scale of one to five on each behavior oh yeah here yeah. Here we go. I love that you think I need a calculator to add six numbers. Well, because you have to divide it after you're done. Oh, God. Okay. So, okay.

Question one. I am someone who, number one, has presence in a room. And this is a five is good? Yes. Okay. Has presence. Give yourself a score. Okay.

Number two, has the ability to influence people. Okay. Has presence. Give yourself a score. Okay. Number two, has the ability to influence people. Okay. Number three, knows how to lead a group. Oh, yeah. Number four, makes people feel comfortable. Okay. Number five, smiles at people often. How would you think, what score would you give me on that?

I literally have no way of telling. I gave myself a low score on that one. How about me? I would also kind of give you a low score. I think you and I, we have a resting face of concern. Yes. I've not given myself a one yet, which is maybe I'm being very generous. Last question.

Number six, can get along with anyone. I actually think I'm pretty good at that. Yeah, I think so too. All right. So divide your total score by six to get your average charisma score. What's your number? 3.3 repeating.

Okay. If it's higher than 3.7, the researchers say you're more charismatic than the average person. Am I less charismatic than the average person am i less charismatic than the average person that's what that means right i don't know what i don't know what the average person is i mean we're probably within average i took it and gave myself a 3.2 okay so we're probably average charisma yeah i don't have less i guess yeah i said wow that's a real shot uh to the to the gut i'll be honest i mean did you think yeah do

you think you were yeah hugely yeah see i gave myself low scores in uh presence in a room yes i don't think i have especially a lot of presence i'm talking about myself i think you're beautiful and radiant and then smiles at people often no thanks do not do i actually think it's a little unfair that the smile one is on there yeah controlling a group though like is that what it says control the group probably not because that, controlling a group though, like is that what it says, control the group? Probably not because that's- No, lead a group. Okay. Yeah, lead, control.

I mean, fear is more powerful than love. I think most people know what charisma is, but just so that you know the official definition, it's compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others and is often viewed as a divinely conferred power or talent. Interesting. Wait, what?

Say that one more again. Divinely conferred power or talent. Thanks. It's like a natural gift. Right. Like charisma is something that people have and it seems like not a skill, but something that they just have. I think it's the divinely in there that caught me off guard. Well, like a God-given talent. Okay, yeah. you know uh so i thought this was interesting and it makes sense so the harvard

business review came up with these quote charismatic leadership tactics uh which does not surprise me um and it's like a list of a dozen key tactics to develop charisma within yourself. Specifically for business purposes? Most likely, yeah. This is going to give me douche chill. It's going to give you the most douche chills. Some of them are not particularly upsetting, like expressions of moral conviction,

the setting of high goals, facial expressions but some of them like stories and anecdotes all right become a person with anecdotes yeah that oh boy but that one can really break bad don't you think when the anecdotes aren't so hot there's so many ways and that seems pretty pretty whack to be like you know how to be more charismatic be better at telling stories and anecdotes so i have an anecdote uh this is how my toe became infected yeah i um made a real tasty loaf of pumpernickel yesterday does anybody want to hear about my pumpernickel bread a fun anecdote about uh how my ear uh was cut off. Do you want to hear it? I had a fun dream last night about Alanis Morissette.

Anyone? Any takers? No? Interesting. Shoot. A completely platonic dream about Alanis Morissette. This is my anecdote about finding out that I drank expired milk seven days in a row. Ah, shoot. Is this a real one, Rach? No.

This is actually the kind of thing that I would want. This is what I come to you for. No. Okay. So charisma is something, I don't know, it's really, I mentioned it's exciting to me as an introvert because at first I thought what I like is people that are extroverts, but that's not true. I don't like somebody that's just outgoing to be outgoing. Can you be a charismatic introvert?

I think so. I think that's what we are. Yeah. I mean, I just found out I'm below average in the charisma department and I'm still kind of reeling from that. You're below average. You're probably average. Okay. Which I think is probably to you is also upsetting uh but as an introverted person if i talk to somebody who has charisma and sound like they're super like hi i'm so excited to meet you isn't the weather funny but they're just like you know just charming um instantly it like relaxes me and makes you know me be a more charismatic person yeah anything that takes the weight of social interaction sort of uh off my off my back i

totally get what you're saying they're excellent hosts at a party you know they're just excellent at if you find yourself in a situation where you're just talking to somebody next to you and they happen to be charismatic it's like the best i don't know how you guarantee authenticity in that department though because nothing stinks more than people who like if i if i get a whiff of you're you're faking it like yeah yeah of course but real i don't think that's true charisma yeah uh so here's something else interesting so i was thinking like who are are some notable charismatic people that I can provide as examples? Do any come to mind, by the way, before I started on this? I mean, this is tough because I feel like most celebrities like film and TV stars.

Well, and that's what I did. So I did a search and I found this list, which I think was like created by some random user. But if you go to IMDB, there's a list of the 101 most charismatic celebrities. And I think it's just created by a user. I mean, the obvious ones are like Clooney is probably top 10, yes. I had thought that, but no, he's not top 10. Not saying I agree with that,

but it seems like just the most obvious choice. I don't know then. Number one is Marlon Brando. Is y'all, i don't know then number one is marlon brando is y'all i don't know number two is just the beatles which led me to question the validity of this list number three is chess superstar gary kasparov uh three is elvis pres. Four is Audrey Hepburn. Five is Michael Jackson. Six is Paul Newman. And number seven is Bob Dylan, which, say what you will about Bob Dylan,

not charismatic. Yeah, so this list is not great. Famously prickly, I would say. Number 12 is Oprah Winfrey. Now, I think that's fair. I think Oprah Winfrey. Number 15 is my dad, Charles. What? Okay. But yeah, I was that's fair. I think Oprah will win. Number 15 is my dad, Charles. What? Okay.

But yeah, I was trying to think about charismatic people to what we said earlier, have presence, the ability to influence, know how to lead a group, make people feel comfortable. I mean, that's definitely Oprah, right? Sure. Smile at people, get along with anyone. Everybody loves Oprah. I think Oprah is a good example. Yeah, I would point to that in the dictionary under Oprah.

I also think charisma is my favorite stat to like max out in a role playing game. Oh, yeah. Like D&D or like Fallout is really great because like you never have to shoot a gun in Fallout if you just like talk to people and you're like, hey, calm down. Hey, chill out. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey, it's all right uh hey can i uh tell you what our friends are really into these days yes i've made it so small it's like size four font i don't know why i did this uh lizzie says my wonderful thing is this song hands down by dashboard confessional it so wonderfully sums up the excitement and joy that comes with the optimism of a new relationship, and I feel like a giant dork in the very best way because of how happy it makes me. You know this song?

No. My hopes are so high that you guys might kill me. So won't you kill me? You don't know that one? So I'm not happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst. I don't know. To break or bury.

No. Or wear it or lose it. Whatever you prefer. I don't know this song. Sorry. But it sounds lovely. Yeah, it's like a backbone emo music of the early minnows. I kind of miss the emo movement.

I guess so. Rosemary says, hello. my wonderful thing is putting paper through a shredding machine it is so so satisfying i find it therapeutic oh that's nice especially when it's the you know the documents that you don't want the feds to get their hands on you know the kind of documents i'm talking about you know can't let him see about my offshore drilling. Anyway, Jordan also says, I normally hate cleaning the house, but I look forward to sweeping the floor. There's something satisfying about sweeping together a little pile of dirt and grass and pet hair that shows you, hey, this really needed to be done, and you did it. Great job.

Can I tell you a story about sweeping? I loved a good sweeping story. And you said you were only like average charisma. You have the best stories in any of those. My sweeping story? Yes. Back when I worked at Salad Beauty Supply in college, I was getting to a point with my manager that was becoming kind of antagonistic. Largely because I think she could tell very clearly I did not care about my job at Salad Beauty Supply.

So one day she called me in. I was in to pick up my paycheck, I believe. And she showed me a pile of swept up leavings. And I had closed the night before. And she was like, look at this pile. I'm going to have to write you up. Very clearly, when I came in, you did not sweep. This pile was large, which looking back now indicate that I was not the only one that was not sweeping for a pile that large. But you got caught holding the bag.

So she decided to write me up for not sweeping. And yeah, looking back now, I'm thinking if you had a pile that large, it wasn't just me that wasn't sweeping. But this was after I had already said that I was going to quit later that month. And so she was probably just angry at me. But anyway, so now I have like sweeping scars from that experience i mean i still enjoy sweeping but it has been tainted for me yeah um no i feel you how was that as an anecdote that was really good actually i was i was gripped the whole time uh i want to thank bowen and augustus for the use for a theme song money won't pay you can find a link to that in the episode description we are very grateful i

still think it's like the best theme song great it just gets everybody so high it's so good uh and thanks to max fun for having us on the network you can go to maximumfund.org check out all the great shows there uh shows like the beef and dairy network and switchblade sisters blade sisters uh and shows like minority corner and so many more on maximum fun.org. Um, thank you all for like waiting on this episode. Sorry. We've been late like a couple of weeks in a row. It's been a very hectic,

like past month or so. Um, but we're trying to get the ship back on the tracks, get that ship off that tracks. That's not how that goes. Is that it? I think that's it. I think that's it.

Yeah. So thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week. Um, and, um, do you want to play some harmonies? Yeah, I guess so. I mean, we could also just, Oh, I think that's it. Yeah. So thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week. And. Do you want to play some harmonies? Yeah, I guess so.

I mean, we could also just. Oh, you want to try and harmonize again? Yeah. Why don't you sing a note and I'll harmonize with it. And then that way it'll take sort of the. So say like goodbye, but like hold like goodbye, like something like that. Okay. Farewell. Farewell.

Okay. Farewell. Farewell. You're going to make it through to Vegas. Here's your ticket. Come on. Bye. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.

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