You're Dead to Me - Special Episode: 1066 and the Battle of Hastings

Episode Date: October 2, 2026

Greg Jenner is joined in medieval England by Dr Erin Goeres and comedian Alison Spittle to learn all about the tumultuous events of 1066, famously depicted on the Bayeux Tapestry, to celebrate its arrival in London. The death of Edward the Confessor without an heir in January 1066 kicked off a three-way battle for the English throne. The contenders? His brother-in-law, Harold Godwinson, who had himself crowned before Edward’s body was cold. His cousin William, already duke of Normandy. And the Norwegian king and famed warrior, Harald. Over the course of just a few short weeks in early autumn, the fight between these three decided the fate of a nation. This episode explores the personalities of these men, taking in Harald’s dramatic life of exile in Constantinople, William’s illegitimacy, and Godwinson’s political credentials – and troublesome little brother, Tostig. And it tells the story of the battles they fought for the throne, at Fulford, Stamford Bridge, and most famously Hastings. And it asks, how accurate is the Bayeux Tapestry, and did Harold really get an arrow in the eye?If you’re a fan of larger than life historical figures, bloody battles and messy medieval family drama, you’ll love our special episode on 1066.The programme is part of Radio 4's Norman Day, marking the arrival of the Bayeux Tapestry in Britain with programmes reassessing the Norman Conquest and its meaning for us today.If you want more on the events surrounding 1066, we’ve got episodes on Emma of Normandy and the Bayeux Tapestry. And for more from Alison Spittle, listen to our episode on the Early Medieval Papacy. You’re Dead To Me is the comedy podcast that takes history seriously. Every episode, Greg Jenner brings together the best names in history and comedy to learn and laugh about the past. Hosted by: Greg Jenner Research by: Dr Jon Norman Mason Written by: Dr Emmie Rose Price-Goodfellow, Dr Emma Nagouse, and Greg Jenner Produced by: Dr Emmie Rose Price-Goodfellow and Greg Jenner Studio and Edit Producer: Steve Hankey Production Coordinator: Gill Huggett Senior Producer: Dr Emma Nagouse Executive Editor: Philip Sellars

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. Ever wondered what you would do if you found yourself lost in the wild? If disaster struck, would you make the right decisions to stay alive? Real survival stories from the Noiser Podcast Network brings you astonishing tales of ordinary people thrust into extraordinary situations. It's the biggest tiger shark I've ever seen in my life. So I just swam. I just swam and swam as fast as I could. I realize those two parachutes tied up together is what a dead man sees.

I am not going to survive. Real survival stories. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to You're Dead to Me with the Radio 4 comedy podcast that takes history seriously. My name is Greg Jenner. I'm a public historian, author and broadcaster. And today we are collecting our bodyguard, calling up the cavalry, and galloping all the way back to medieval England. And galloping back again to learn everything about the events of 1066,

and the Battle of Hastings. And joining our ranks on this epic campaign, we have two very special guests. In History Corner, she's Associate Professor of Scandinavian Studies at University College London. Luckily for us, she's an expert on Norman and Scandinavian invasions of medieval England,

and he might have read her wonderful new book, all about 1066, 19 days in autumn. It's Dr. Erin Gores. Welcome, Erin. Thank you. Pleasure to be here. I'm very excited to have you in. And in Comedy Corner, she's an award-winning screenwriter, actor, podcaster and comedian.

Maybe you've seen her on tour, or heard her BBC Sounds podcast, We Live Miss Fortune, or her new show, ignore that feeling with Fern Brady. Yeah. And, of course, on the telly, you may have seen her on Nowhere Fast, Celebrity Gogh, Goggled Box, Richard Osmond's House of Games, pointless celebrities. But most importantly, you'll remember her from our episode on the medieval papacy.

It's Alison Spittal. Welcome back. Mad popes for life. I still talk about them. Even last week I was chatting to someone about them. It's a lot of people's favourite episode, that one. Mine too. Some pretty strange history.

Pops are genuine drag queens to me. I love them. I love them. Dead popes on trial. All the good stuff. So we've done medieval popes and we're back in the middle ages with you. Yes, we are.

We're still, yeah. And this is this is a subject. I don't know that much about it. Sure. Okay, so you grew up in Ireland. I did. I grew up in Ireland. So what does 1066 mean, if anything?

1066, I think there was an advertisement for an insurance company. Was it Churchill? No, no, it's 1066. It's 1066. That's all I remember. It's Hastings, I think they're called, yeah. Hastings, yeah. Sorry, I got my historical insurance companies.

I'll let you off. It's a very niche subject, yeah. But yes, 1066 to me is either a passcode for something or a phone number for an English person. That's all I know. Fair enough. There's a battle. There's a. Yeah.

Someone won? There's actually three. But, you know, we're going to get into it. We've got lots to cover. So that's good to know that you've got a kind of baseline, which is insurance companies. Yeah. And then from there we can build. So, and you're Canadian originally.

So, I mean, you've come to this late as well. I have. I have, yes. I think for most Canadians, 1066 is just a big question mark. So it was a grand voyage of discovery for me. Lovely. What was it like for you? I love 1066. It's my favourite.

I'm very excited. So what do you know? This is the so what do you know? This is where I have a go at guessing what you, our lovely listener or viewer, hello, will know about today's subject. And if you're English, 1066 is the most famous date in all of English history, right? We all know it. 1066 and all that.

It's William the Conqueror, it's a Battle of Hastings. Harold with the arrow in the eye. You know, our lovely podcast artwork, right? Maybe you've got tickets to go see the biotapestri at the British Museum. Maybe you saw the BBC TV drama, King and Conquer. You probably know a lot about it, but maybe not everything. So who were the men who fought for the English crown in 1066? Did Harold really get an arrow in the eye?

And why should you never trust your younger brother? Maybe not. Let's find out. Okay, Alison, obviously. Yes. Easy question here. Who was the king before 1066? No, don't you dare. So William is the guy after. Yeah?

And then the king before that was just Bob? King Bob. King Bob. Yeah. I think he's a minion, isn't he? He's one of the minions, I think. I think that's despicable me. It's a very different genre. Is it like Arfer, Merlin, these legendary people that don't really exist before this? Or is it Alfred? Is there a guy called Alfred?

Alfred is a king, but it's slightly, a bit earlier, I'm afraid. Okay. You're sort of 120 or years out. But those are, I mean, Alfred wrong, Merlin wrong. Alfred. Was there something the coward? No. Oh?

Well, you're, you've gone with an epithet. Yeah. So there's an epithet. There's a nickname. There's a nickname. But he's not coward. Okay. The early.

Barry the punctual. Barry the punctual. Erin, put us out of our misery. No. The epithet is The Confessor. The Confessor? Oh, Edward? Yes. Why do I know that? Why do you know that?

Why do you know that? This feels very slumdog millionaire for me. Edward the Confessor. Edward the Confessor, exactly. Not known as Edward the Confessor in his early life or for some time. Because he had to confess. Well, indeed. He had to grow old and become holy. And obviously he wasn't that as a young boy.

As a young boy, he was the son of King Ethelred. Yes. Another epithet? Oh, Eiffelred, there's something. Yes. Oh, gosh. Okay, the confessor, the dad. Eiffelred, the dad.

Again, a later nickname, Esselreddead, the unready. The unready. Which cue many jokes about him not being ready for all the Vikings that attacked his shores. Not what it meant. It meant the badly counseled. He was not a very effective king. The ill-advised, isn't it? The ill-advised, exactly.

I don't like the idea of getting these names. So when do you find it out, these epithets? Like, if I went, hey, Greg, you're Greg the dead. And you're like, what? Yes, it's going to happen. It's going to, you know, that'll be inevitable. Yes. So, Ethel of Unready is the father.

He's the father. The mother. The mom, Emma of Normandy. Yeah. No epithet. And women don't get any epiphytes. The wife. The wife.

Emma's a great wife. So, Emma is a fantastic queen of England. and she's actually twice a queen of England because Ethelred was so unready, if you like, that the Danes came and nabbed his kingdom. So if we think of Knut, the Great, so there's another one. So he kicked out Ethelred.

Didn't he have a fight with the sea? He was great. He didn't. It's our myth, Allison. It's a myth. It's a myth. But anyway, so in fact, Knut's dad, Svane came, kicked Ethelred out and the family.

So Emma was from Normandy, so across the channel. And she thought, you know what? Might be a bit safer in Normandy. So she and the kids, including Edward, her son, took refuge in Normandy. Knut came, Nabd England again. And Edward basically stayed in Normandy. He grew up in Normandy while this Danish-born king ruled England. And in fact, you know, we talk about the French or the Normans coming in and grabbing England.

But actually, Edward grew up in Normandy. He, you know, from a very young age, eight, ten years old, perhaps. He effectively grew up as a Norman nobleman because of this issue of getting kicked out of his kingdom. Yeah. And so when he came back to be king of England, he was just as Norman, really, as English. He was a bit French. He was a bit French. Oh, no.

That sounds like a slur. He's a bit French. That's a bit French, mate. But in fact, we had two decades, a wee bit more than two decades of Danish rule in England, while Edward was over in... Normandy growing up. And so when Knut died, there was a bit of a kerfuffle with various sons of his. Indeed. A very bloody one.

Trying, you know, ruling, but they were quite short-lived, these sons. Yeah. And they had a habit of dying young, which is inconvenient if you want to rule a kingdom. And so eventually, Edward was called back by his mom who had actually married the Danish king. Knut. Way, Emma. Emma. Yeah.

Emma. Indeed. Wow. Wow. Powermen. This is very coronation-street. It is. This is very dear Dr. Ken and Mike.

Mike, get away from the door. Canoe? Cano? Listen, no, we do have an episode on Emma of Normandy. It's a fantastic episode. It's very funny. It's very confusing. And we probably need to move on from the confusion.

So, I mean, Edward returns to the throne in England. Having grown up in Normandy, he brings some French allies with him. He does. Which is obviously a little bit controversial because they're foreigners. But he's also got a powerful English ally. Indeed. And who's that? So this is, in fact, an ally of his mom, Emma of Normandy.

This is the powerful... She has a lot of allies. Well, you have to, in the medieval period, as a woman, you can't wield a sword, what do you do? You make friends with men who can. Okay. So he's Earl Godwin, so the Earl of Wessex. And he was the kind of right-hand man of the Danish-born Knut. And he becomes this kind of kingmaker, a kind of power broker, after Knut's death and a sort of ally of Emma.

And so it makes sense to come, if you know, if you're Edward, you don't know a lot of people in England. you don't really have a lot of land or money, you don't know a lot of the nobles. It makes sense to have a powerful ally. Your mom's friend. Earl Godwin, your mom's friend, soon to be your father-in-law. Because Earl Godwin also has a beautiful young daughter, maybe 15 years younger or so than Edward.

Oh, dear. How old's Edward? Well, Edward's 38 by the time he becomes king, right? Okay, yeah. You know, so Edith, Godwin's daughter, Edith, when Edward marries Edith that's really kind of consolidating that alliance with the family of Earl Godwin

and he's called Edward the Confessor because he's always breaking stuff and then apologising but no it's a religious thing So he's a man who reputationally has sort of gone down as a man who's so obsessed with God and with faith he can't even be bothered to rule the kingdom because he's just busy praying

Is that true? No, no that's ridiculous His redemption is perhaps after death. We know a lot about Edward's life and character from things that are called saints' lives because there was a kind of move to portray him as a saint. This is what the confessor is sort of alluding to after he died for various kind of political and religious reasons.

And he never was made a saint. Ooh. I think he sort of is. He sort of is. He sort of is. Is he official? I don't know if he's official. We have to ask John.

I think he is a saint in English church. but yeah, we'd have to check it. We'd have to check that. It's after 1066. I don't bother. Of course. I can confirm Edward the confessor was a saint and in fact is the only king of England

to ever have been canonized by the Pope, although that was 100 years later. Wow, the Pope, okay, that's proper. Prophersainthood. That is a proper saint. Well done. Wow. So he had these allies.

He had to have allies. He seemed to have ruled all right, but he did have to rely on these very powerful men, particularly this family, the family of Earl Godwin. Yeah. So he did... His mom's mates. His mom's mates. And then his wife's mates. Yeah. So he's married to Edith for about five years and there's no children.

So that's a problem. There's a lot going on. Maybe there's a kind of power play by some of his French and Norman allies. Yes. And this is dangerous to Godwin, Earl Godwin and the family of Earl Godwin. So there was a big falling out. Earl Godwin and his son's sort of rebel. Edward kicks them out. He sends his wife to a nunnery, get thee to a nunnery. Wow.

But Godwin comes back with men and ships and swords. And he wins, effectively. There's not a battle, but he kind of, there's a bit of armed diplomacy that goes on and he is reinstated in his position of power.

Edith comes back from the monastery and is reinstated in the bedchamber. A bit awkward. Reinsated in the bedchamber. Indeed. I know. This feels very 2am a wedding situation of my family when it's been around. People have been reinstated in a bedchamber.

Yeah, so we have a King of England with no air. No air. His brother-in-law is a bit of a red flag. He's a bit of a red flag, but he's also really useful. Yeah, sure. So Harold, this is our first person of note. Yes. Harold, so he's the Queen's brother, Harold Godwinson, son of Earl Godwitwis.

Yeah. He's a really useful ally. He does remain loyal to Edward after this kind of slight civil war rebellion kind of problem. He helps administer the kingdom with his brother Tostik, his younger brother Tostik. They do a really good job. You know, there's almost 15 years of peace, really, more than 15 years of peace. Yeah. And Edward can kind of adopt a kind of senior statesman sort of approach. He's maybe not out leading the charge. He's maybe not out leading the charge. He's not attacking whales like Harold and Tostich are doing. But he's a kind of elder statesman. He's off performing kingship, wearing the crown, you know, doing all the things. He's chill. He's like Wayne Rooney nowadays. Yes, exactly. He's doing podcasts.

He's doing podcasts. He's coming to Nambique. I think he's more of a Beckham kind of. Beckham. And he founds Westminster Abbey, right? Exactly. And this is a huge thing. So Westminster Abbey that you can see now is the kind of brainchild of Edward the confess.

And then our senior king suddenly falls very ill. He does. Out of nowhere. He does. They always do that too. They're rubbish that way. And the kind of date is we're right at the beginning of 1066. We are.

We're like January 4th, something like that. Fourth of 5th, we're not quite sure. Well, at the end of 1065 December, Edward falls ill and he takes to his bed. And at the very end of December, they're going to consecrate, they're going to have a kind of ceremony to sort of officially open Westminster Abbey. this project which is so close to him. They've got the giant scissors. They've got it ready to go. They've got the ribbon.

And he misses it because he's so ill. So it's really obvious he's very, very ill. Yes. January, fourth or fifth, he dies. Right. Yeah. So the first on the scene, in fact, at the deathbed is Harold. Harold.

Harold is there. He is there. He is watching, waiting, probably helping a little bit. Not helping. No, not helping in that way. Hello over the face. He's just the old thing. He's just waiting.

He's calling up dignitas. Indeed. Yeah, exactly. But as Edward lies dying, he says these, he allegedly says these very important words. He says, Harold, I commend my wife, the queen, my wife, Edith and the kingdom to your care. Please protect her. Did anyone else witness this? Well, well, well, this is a question.

I love your suspicious mind. This is very suspicious. Well, this is in a text which was commissioned, if not kind of heavily influenced by Edith, the queen. And it's a very pro-herald and tostic version of events. So one, did he say it? Not quite sure. Two, what does it mean? I commend the kingdom to you?

Does that mean you're the next king? Or does it mean, could you please look after the kingdom until William gets here? We don't know. That's the trouble with a deathbed, isn't it? You're not really that clear. No, you're not thinking clearly at that point. No, no. And the amazing thing, of course, is that the funeral for Edward

is on the 6th of January. January 6th, obviously a lot of listeners will be thinking, hang on a minute, that's a... Hey, I remember that day. That's a whole other day. It's the funeral, it's also the coronation day. Harold, he attends the funeral and then what swaps out? So what, talks to the vestry, puts on a new clothes.

Yeah, this is great. So how far away was the coronation from the funeral? It was in Westminster. Same building. Very good. So not very far. It's a multi-purpose space. They take down the black, pop up some red.

Yeah, exactly. Just get the band to change the music. It's like Weatherspher spoons when it changes from breakfast to lunch and the vibe changes completely. So a bit of a party planning nightmare, you know, funeral to coronation. But Harold pulls it off. He pulls it off. He's now king of England. He is king of England.

And this is a really important thing, right? He's sanctioned by God as King of England. So it is no small thing for someone else to try and come and pinch that title. Absolutely. But someone's going to. That's why you're here, Alison. I do you be like, that's the end of the podcast. That's it.

Yeah, it's just really straightforward transfer of power, actually. Yeah, lovely. Peaceful transition. There we go. So the story goes that he has either claimed power rightfully or he's grabbed power. Indeed. Depends on our sources. It depends on who's telling the story, okay, which is fine.

Let's sort of get to the next stage, of course, which is that this is a man who's been running the country already. He's been kind of doing it anyway. Peacefully. His brother's been helping him. Senior King, Shaw, has been off building a lovely church. But really, Harold is the man. He knows the job. He's there.

He's quite well qualified. So, obvious question, Alison, do you think he should be the King of England at this point? Well, it's been consecrated by God. Sure. Who am I to argue toward the Lord? Yeah, I don't see any, there's no children. He's a close guy to Edward. I do feel like he should have.

So he's your frontrunner. I think he's my frontrunner. Okay. Well, we're going to... This is like Will Young versus Garif Gates. That's it. There's going to be some other candidates coming along. Okay.

Because it's going to get pretty... Oh, it's... Cassette Amour, some bombshells of him. Yeah, exactly. An ex-boyfriend walks in. No! No! Yeah, it's going to get a lot more confusing now.

So you might want to start making some notes. Yes. if I do my video game voice, enter player two. Because here comes Duke William of Normandy. I've heard of this guy. The storming Norman himself. And he's quite an interesting character. I mean, do you want to give us the kind of sort of the very quick overview of who he is?

Because he's quite an interesting player. He's very, very interesting. So he is the illegitimate son. Oh. Oh, no. Of the Duke of Normandy, right? And so if you remember Emma of... Normandy, he's basically Edwards' cousin, right, because of that Norman connection. So he's

part of the family. A really difficult childhood in that his dad went off on pilgrimage and died when William was only seven, eight years old, which is really difficult if you're then thrust into the position of being a duke. I have an eight-year-old. I wouldn't want her to be the duke of Normandy because this is a period in which there's a lot of strong guys with big swords and pointy spears who want lots of land and lots of power. And if there's an eight-year-old kid in the way, they're going to try and kill him. And that's exactly what happens. And it would be so easy.

Exactly. You think it's easy. But William survived loads of assassination attempts in his child. He got kind of shunted around. He got kind of taken out of the castle in the middle of the night and hidden and peasants' huts to save his life. Wow. So he has a really difficult childhood. He makes it.

He has to fight a few very difficult. battles against powerful, powerful men, but he does it. So, I mean, you could say, like, he starts off in a difficult situation. He grows up as quite a aggressive, ruthless, kind of ambitious person. You know, arguably, because he's got a, it's quite a difficult life to start with, and he has to, in order to survive. And he's got a name, a nickname. He's got a name.

He's William, Duke of Normandy, but his nickname is William the... Conqueror. No? No, no. Not yet. Oh, right. He's not done it yet. He hasn't done it. He's not conquered. Billy the Kid. Billy the Kid, that's cute. That's really good.

No, William the Unkillable. Bastard. William the bastard. He's the illegitimate. Because he's illegitimate. So he's not technically meant to have inherited, but he has. Well, no, he has. He's the only son. Yeah. It's actually fine. But he's born out of wedlock.

He's born out of wedlock. But honestly, at this point, at this time in history, it's kind of okay. Yeah. You know, it's going to become more of an issue. 1066, get with the time. Exactly. It's the modern attitude. It's okay.

He's the only son. Yeah. It's more a statement of fact, really. So it's not the bastards. It's not like within... It is also the bastard. It does become that. I mean, he is...

I mean, he is. William the hard bastard. He is absolutely... I mean, he is. He's ruthless, right? He's ruthless. And he's really good at doing what he has to do as a warlord, effectively, in the early 11th century.

I suppose to be a warlord. He do have to be a bastard. Yeah. There's no cuddly warlords, are there? No, no, exactly. William the Nice. He is a warlord, but he's lovely. He's lovely.

So you said he's a cousin. So he's sort of part of the family. Yes, he is. So that's his claim to the English throne. That is part of his claim. Right. Part of his claim. I was going to say, so give us the second part.

Give us the more important bit. So you remember, did God get involved again? Well, he did, didn't he? He's such a troublemaker. No. So you remember I said there was that. Earl Godwin, there was that rebellion slash civil war kind of argy-bargy that happened in 1051-52. So there was a little moment in there when Godwin and his sons had left England.

And Edward kind of thought, oh, right, they're gone. Who can I get to be king after me? Or maybe who can just support me at this difficult time? Yes. Allegedly, he either sent messages to William, Duke of Normandy, his cousin, who perhaps he remembered fondly for some reason, or he actually had William come himself to England, we're not sure, and allegedly at that time he offered the throne to William. So, but that's 1051, 52.

Oh, right, okay. That's quite some time before 1066. It's 15 years almost, isn't it? It's a bit, yes, so lots can happen. Does the offer elapse? The offer elaps. Well, not for William. Ah, yeah.

So William would always look back and say, well, he offered me the throne in 1051. He can't take it back. Yeah, right? But it's been 15 years of peace. But it's been 15 years. Just be a peace. Exactly. And then in 1066, Edward is dying and he offers it maybe to someone else, to Harold. And in English law, if you're dying and you offer something to someone else, well, that's the kind of final word. Yes. So Harold is there saying, well, he offered it to me on his deathbed. That's legit. And then William is over there in Normandy saying, no, I have a prior claim from 1051. So both of them are kind of saying, but it's mine. But there's also another story, right? So in 1064, give or take, and the bio tapestry confirms it, question mark. Harold ends up in Normandy.

And we don't know why. We don't know why. Wow. So there's a couple of versions. Do you want to give us your possible version? What's he doing in Normandy? He's trying some croissons. Taking a little bit of culture.

Do you know what? He's going on a wine cruise. Okay, wine tasting. He's getting cheap wines and bringing it back to Britain. There's no tax on it. Yeah. The booze cruise. There we go.

He's on a booze cruise. He might be. Completely. There's stories we have shipwreck. Shipwreck, he didn't mean to. Possibly the most, he might have, you know, just been going over for political reasons. Political reasons. Some stories, Norman stories, are he was sent by King Edward to kind of reaffirm the fact that William was the chosen heir.

Yeah. The most likely explanation is actually, again, during this Argy Bargi of 10-51, to 52, Edward had asked for hostages from the Godwin family, and he'd then kind of given them to William, as you do. He's kind of done past the parcel with some young boys from the Godwin clan, and maybe Harold is now so powerful in 1064. He wants to go and get them back. Right. But it goes a bit wrong. He ends up a prisoner, sort of in a very... Banged up abroad. Yeah. Exactly. His cruise has gone wrong. The cruise goes very bad. He ends up a prisoner of William and something happens.

We don't quite know what, but Harold seems to have made some kind of promise to William. The sort of biotapestry alludes to him being shipwrecked, maybe captured by Guy of Pontuere. Exactly. William may be rescuing him. Maybe. And then making him do a promise. Exactly. On a sacred oath.

On a relicry, or in fact on the Bayotapestry on two, he's kind of touching both of them. All right. So it's a double oath. There's a double oath. And Harold's kind of there like with his headdrew. Like, oh no. Or, you know, oh, you know, my glorious Lord. I acknowledge William, my sovereign and my, you know.

Or, oh, no, what have I done? Yeah, exactly. We don't know. It's a very situation-ship type thing. Men need to just commit. These are two men who are kind of friends or are they friends or are they, you know? Will they, won't they? And actually to add insult to injury.

In the Scandinavian sources that you specialize in, there is a scandal. There's a scandal. Absolutely. So here, the story. So this is... Shaghan. Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

I don't know. Is it... There's a list of love affair. Okay, lovely, lovely. So you hear the story. Again, shipwreck, he didn't, Harold didn't mean to be there, but he spends the winter

because the idea there is he travels in the autumn, lots of big storms. He gets shipwrecked in Rouen. Oh, shipwrecked. And who do you think, of course, is at the court of William? There is also, who do you think? And we're talking, we're talking.

An affair? Yeah. Yes. Oh, Craig. Is it Emma? No. Edith? No.

Matilda. Matilda. Sugar, she hasn't been in here yet. No. So this is William's wife. Oh, wow. Matilda of Flanders. Very, from a very powerful kind of principality.

Yes. And the Norse sources. Has there been a TV depiction of this? Because I can imagine a lot of powdered breasts. Yeah. There was the recent drama. And yes. Was it in there?

And I can't, I didn't watch all of it. Oh, no. Okay. But. Yes, the story goes that Harold lays his sweet charms. On Matilda, because William is a, he's a pious, ruthless bastard. He goes to bed early. He's the best point.

He goes to bed early. But Matilda likes to stay up late talking with Harold Godwinson, and that is always a euphemism in the sagas. So eventually, word gets round the castle, you know, something's happening. And William kind of drags Harold into his kind of. kind of private chamber and says, I hear you've been talking with my wife. Wow. And Harold says, oh, oh, yeah.

Yeah, no, I have. I have. Actually, it's not what you think. I really want to marry your daughter. And probably at this point, Matilda's like, what? Hang on. That's not what you said. You were kissing me.

You were kissing me. But, you know, Harold, this is his excuse. And he's like, oh, you know, and your wife, Matilda promised to help me in my suit. So William buys it. Right. Harold does his oath. He's now betrothed to William's daughter. Oh my gosh. And then he goes back to England.

Yes. Ever wondered what you would do if you found yourself lost in the wild? If disaster struck, would you make the right decisions to stay alive? Real survival stories from the Noiser Podcast Network brings you astonishing tales of ordinary people thrust into extraordinary situations. It's the biggest tiger shark I've ever seen in my life. So I just swam. I just swam and swam as fast as I could. I realize those two parachutes tied up together is what a dead man sees.

I am not going to survive. Real survival stories. Listen, wherever you get your podcasts. Be quickly. So, we now have two suitors possibly because Harold is the rightful king, obviously, but maybe he's promised it to William. Yes. And he's promised to marry William's daughter, maybe.

Maybe. But now I can introduce a third suitor or a third player, player three. I'm going to call him the Thunderbolt from the North. Yes. It's not Erling Harland. It's not a big... Well, I mean, he's kind of... If you had to draw a sort of Norse king...

It would be Erling Harland. It would be all kind of close. A big, blonde, scary man. I think we should all be imagining the King of Norway as Erling Harland here. Okay, so this is another Harold. But he's a Norwegian... He's a Norwegian.

He's Haraldur's a son. So he's the son of Sigurdersen. Okay. Who was also a king of Norway. He's got a fun epithet. well, again, later. But he's called Hath Rauze, so the hard ruler, or the severe ruler. This does sound slightly pornographic now.

Fair enough. I'm the hard ruler. And he is perhaps the most impressive of the contenders for the throne. How so? He's just a Viking. When you picture a Viking, so if you picture Erling Harlan, like in a ship, like in a ship, you know, waving an axe. That's basically...

Breathing heavily. Breathing heavily. There you go. So he also, actually, a bit like William and Edward, he also got kicked out of his kingdom as a teenager. So again, this is Knude, lots of things going on in the north. So Knud also wanted Norway, you know, as well as England, as you do. And so Haraldur, Norwegian Haraldur,

actually had to spend, you know, 10, 15 years as an exile. and he did this as a mercenary. So he went to the east kind of Eastern Europe, what is now Eastern Europe, and he ended up in the guard of the Byzantine Emperor, the East Roman Empire, in this very noted collection of soldiers called the Varanian Guard,

who are kind of the fiercest, the ones who do all the dirty work for the emperor. And he comes back and he uses his wealth and his cunning to become king of Norway. Yeah. Harold Dersh is king of Norway for, you know, for some time afterwards and he does it pretty well.

But why does he think should be King of England? Because his enemy was Canute, who is king of England. That's not a claim. That's not a legal claim. But you said, why does he think he should be King of England? Okay, fine, okay. But legally, that's not a claim. William has a legal claim.

Harold has a legal claim. Hadrada, you know, Harylada. He kind of has a legal claim. So basically, when, so Knoot was out kind of attacking everyone in the North Sea, basically. his Knut's son, Harzah Knoot, was king of Denmark. He's half a Knoot, famously. I'm really trying very hard not to.

I know we're broadcasting this. He had a sort of agreement. Remember I said there was this nephew that Haroldur kind of came and became half, he became kind of co-king with this nephew named Magnus. And so Magnus and the son of Knoot, Harzah, Knoot, had a kind of agreement while this was all kind of kicking off. And neither of them had sons. This is kind of a widespread problem. And they said, well, you know, when one of us dies, if we still don't have a son, we will inherit each other's thrones.

Lovely. So Harrethe Knut dies. Like I said, the sons of Knut, they're always dying a bit young. So Magnus kind of claims to inherit Denmark. And because Knut was king of Denmark and England, and a bit of Norway, when Haraldor, inherits, It's Magnus' kingdom, Norway. He then claims Denmark and England. He'd been kicked out of his kingdom by Knoot as a young man. Knoot had ruled a North Sea, what we would call a North Sea empire now. He didn't use that term exactly. But he reigned over multiple countries in the

North Sea. He was incredibly powerful, cultured person that people at this time could have looked up to, you know, if you're a king, you're like, wow, Knoot, you know, he did it really well. He then served in the Haroldur, then served the Byzantine emperor, another very powerful person ruling over multiple lands. I think it makes a lot of sense. Sure. Haroldur says, you know what? I don't want to be just king of Norway.

I would like another kingdom. How can I do this? It's basically returning into episode of Succession here because there's going to be another name I have to add in here. Oh no! Enterplayer 4. This is Tosti, the little brother, Harold's little brother. What a cute name, by the way.

It's a cute name. It sounds like... No, he sounds warm. No, Tosti's no warm. He's an absolute nightmare. Because Tosti falls out with his brother, Harold Godmanson. So, King of England, rightful King of England, on the throne. He's on the throne.

His little brother, Tosti, is like, I don't like this very much. I'm going to go make trouble. And he goes and makes trouble in the most sort of, kind of, odd kind of way. He just sort of tours Europe. He does. He does. I mean, in fairness to Tosti, he has been exiled because there was the common pattern. This is a common pattern.

So because he was Earl of Northumbria, right? And so the north is the most wonderful place, but it doesn't really always like southern rule. He imposes taxes, he kills a few noblemen from the north. The northerners quite understandably say, you know, we don't really want this. They rebel. There's a kind of agreement in which Toste has to be banished.

He's kicked out in order to save Edward and save Harold. He's outraged when Harold is all of a sudden crowned. in Westminster Abbey. And so indeed, he goes on a tour of Europe looking for someone to help him invade. He goes to Normandy. He tells William, William should invade. The Norse sources also say that Tosti goes to Denmark,

looking for the King of Denmark to help him. King of Denmark says, no, I don't think so. And he rocks up in Norway. And Heraldur, king of Norway, is there. Tosti rocks up and says, would you like to help me conquer another kingdom? And Harold says, well, yes, absolutely. That's exactly what I want to do today.

So William starts planning his invasion. He's doing that. But meanwhile, Harold is also planning his invasion. Okay, fine. And Haralda sets off first. Harold sets off first. So basically, what you usually did in this period was you try to invade and cross the channel especially in the summer

because the weather's nicer. This is great. Yeah, of course. It's like a barbecue. You don't go on holiday in England in the winter. No. You go in the summer. So they're kind of waiting.

So William is down in Normandy, collecting his forces, waiting for kind of the proper wind, you know, the right direction to blow him across the channel, all the ships. So the Norwegians sail first. They go via the Orkneys. They come down the northern coast of England and they rock up basically in Yorkshire. So our first big battle on the 20th of September, 1066, they trounce the kind of northern armies. So this is the army. So I said Tosti was the Earl of Northumbria, the guy who kind of kicked him out or took his play. He fights at the battle with his brother. This is Morcar. This is Morcar.

Earl of Northumbria, his brother, Edwin, Earl of Mercia. And they fight at the Battle of Fulford. Fulford is kind of like a suburb of York now. Right. It's about two miles out of York. They have a big battle and it's kind of in very wet territory. And basically the English army gets kind of like pushed into like this swamp or the fend. Loads of them drown.

They get killed so many, according to the Norse sagas, that the Norwegians could cross without getting their feet wet because of all the dead bodies. On their bodies. Oh, gross. Yeah. That is gross. So the Northern girls are killed. The Northern girls actually survive.

They run away. They leg it. Good. The Vikings, if you like, the Norwegians sees York. The people of York are like, oh, I think we should make peace with these people now. They make a big agreement. They pledge, they kind of pledge submission.

to Harold Durs of Norway, who's got Tosti with him at this point. Tosti's kind of fighting on the side of the Norwegians. And then they say, okay, I think we should have like another little meeting. We should have a little assembly in a few days' time at Stamford Bridge. Yeah.

Does that ring any bells? Chelsea football. No. Not those bells. It's still Yorkshire, actually. Oh, right, really? It's not London. Not West London.

I was like, wow, they travel fast. So that's the Viking invasion up north. So that's Tosti supporting Hadal the Norwegian king. Indeed. Meanwhile, our Harold, Mr. Mustachio, he's on the south coast waiting for the Williamites. Waiting for William. He's gathered the biggest land army

and the biggest ship army, navy. He's kind of patrolling the southern coast, waiting for something to happen from Normandy. And all of a sudden these messengers come down from the north saying, Vikings! Oh no! And your brother! And your brother!

And by the way, they've just killed, you know, the English armies of the north. Please, could you come help? Oh my gosh. That's annoying, isn't it? Yes. They're sitting there waiting for one invasion and another one happens. Another one happened.

It's like waiting for a bus. Exactly, yeah. Two come and once. So Harold is like, all right. Well, fine, we'll go north. Because he's just got, he's sitting his army home. He has, in fact. September is when you did a harvest as a farmer, so they need to go and get the food in.

He's just let them all go. And all of a sudden the messengers come and they're like, oh, I'm sorry, but you need to bring an army north. Very, very sorry. And he does. He does. So we're not quite sure how none of the sources specify. but probably Harold, King Harold, and his closest retainers probably ride north.

That's what they typically did. They would have gathered more kind of militia, kind of local fighters as they went. Some might have gone by ship if they had the ships there at that time. And they arrive in the vicinity of York just after York has said, oh yes, we're going to submit to the Norwegians.

Right. And they do it in what three days? Is it? It's very quick, isn't it? It's very quick. I don't know exactly how. I'm not sure we know exactly how many. days but it's like under a week. They race up and the Vikings are not ready for them.

The Vikings are not ready. No. What are the Vikings doing? Oh, are they putting together furniture? Flatpack furniture. It's a very hot September. It's a hot September. Are they someday?

They are? Yes. I was trying to be besiecious. No. Okay. They are? I bet they are absolutely gorgeous these Vikings. Much like the Norway football team in the World Cup.

There's amazing. There's amazing. There's amazing. There's amazing. There's a lot of them with their shirts off going, this is hot. Yes, that's exactly what the Vikings are doing. Yes, absolutely. So it's a hot day and they think, well, we're not going to fight.

We'll leave our armor at the ships. Oh, dear. And we'll leave a third of our army at the ships who are, again, slightly out of York. It's a beautiful day. And all of a sudden, they see this dust cloud. So they see this cloud of dust rolling down this road because it's a hot September, right? Yeah. And they think, ooh, what is that?

And there's this wonderful description in the sagas where it says, and it looked like ice in the sun. And it's because the sun is glinting off weapons. And Harold kind of calls Tosti to him and says, I think there's an army coming towards us. And Tosti kind of, at first he said, no, I think it's my friends. They're coming to help.

And, you know, the weapons become more obvious. They come closer and closer and closer. And Harold says, no, I really don't think that these are your friends. I think this is an army. And we don't have our armor. and also a third of our guys are not here. Could someone go get them, please? So he sends off messengers,

but in the meantime, it's Harold Godwinson. He's arrived, he's leading a massive force, and he attacks the Norwegians. Oh, no, not these beautiful, righty Norwegians. And Erling Harlan defends the bridge? Now we've got two Erling Harlan. So we've got this wonderful, possibly later, story about the lone Norwegian,

who kind of so they're you know the English are coming on one side of the river the Norwegians are on the other side of the river and there's a bridge there's a very narrow bridge over the river and now we can imagine different Erling Island number two

Martin Odega defends the bridge yes and he's like one guy who's got his armour he's got like a big axe or something he's a giant right he's a huge guy big guy and the English keep attacking him and he keeps killing them and he keeps throwing them off the bridge and there's lots of kind of blood and gore

and sticky substances everywhere Jam? Jam, absolutely. Human flying everywhere. Exactly. And he defends the bridge for hours, which is really important because it allows the Norwegian troops to form up, get the weapons that they have, form a big war,

until, of course, someone finds a boat, which is a problem. They find a boat. One of the English people find a boat, take a spear, get in the boat, sail under the bridge. And what do you think happens? Is it, is there? Is it? Is it?

Right. Does the big giant get a spear in, in, in, in the, the genitalia area? Yes. Which fit? Which fit? Which fit? Spear up the bum. Up the bum? No, I don't, I don't think that's best. Is it not off the bum?

Comes up to him. Yeah. Off room. So it's probably the, uh... The perineal land. Yes, there are you. In Ireland, we call it the Gooch. Yes.

Yes. And he does not survive that. No. Oh, no one is going to survive that. No one is going to survive that. The sensation of that. And so, you know, we should move on because obviously we should. We should.

We've got lots to get for it. But the Vikings are defeated. The Vikings are defeated. And Tosti is dead. Tosti is dead. How did Tosti die? Did he get it in the coach as well? Not that we don't know.

The sagas say he fought well and bravely. He fought with the standard and actually Heraldur, the king. He gets killed first with an arrow in the neck. No, not a arrow there. I know. He does. But he does speak some poetry before he dies. So that's important.

And then Tosti picks up the standard and even across like across the battlefield. The Ravens. The Raven Banner, right? The Raven Banner, it's called the Land Waster. Anybody who holds it will be victorious. Turns out that's a myth. Okay. Harold Godwinson offers a truce to Tosti twice.

And Tosti says, no, I've joined the Norwegians. I'm going to fight and die with the Norwegians. I hate you, you know. And he does. He dies. They both die. And then guess what happens? Then we have a battle in Hastings.

Yes. Is that, well, I mean, basically. They travel down? So we now get another invasion. So you joked before about the buses thing. I did. Literally what happens. That is what happens.

Okay, another invasion. Harold has raced north. He's defeated his brother. He's killed the King of Norway. William's coming for your head. And three days later? Yes, yes, pretty much. Yes.

So Stanford Bridge, 25th of September. William probably crosses on the 27th, the night of the 27th to the 28th of September. You'd be exhausted. Yeah. He'd be exhausted. So a message comes up and King Harold is like, what now?

Well, good news, Sire. You know that invasion you're waiting for? It's happened. Indeed. 200 miles away. Indeed. Got to come back down now. Got to come back down.

Come back down. And the story goes that he races down. He races down. We've often been told that he like, you know, marches his men down, force marches. They're exhausted. They've just marched 200 miles, forced a battle. Now they have to march another 200. Is that true?

I mean, it's nowhere specified. It would be unusual for him to do that. That's probably more of a Victorian imagining. Harold would have ridden, right? that's what high status men did in this period. His house calls, his retainers probably rode. Some, again, may have gone by ship. He often did in Wales.

He had attacked by land and by sea. And he gathered men as he went. So that's what he really would have been doing. So he's calling up, again, local kind of militia-type people. So most of the people we hear about fighting at Hastings are men from the south, so Kent, Sussex, a bit further north, you know, Norfolk, Suffolk.

Yeah, London area. London area, right? So he's collecting a new army, if you like. But the core, yes, absolutely, his kind of professional fighting guys. His bodyguard. His bodyguard absolutely are racing down and fighting, but probably on horses. And we should probably talk about William's invasion just very quickly because it's incredibly impressive what he's pulled off.

It's so impressive. It's so impressive. I've even got some really fun numbers for you. Oh, yeah. I do, I do. Give us some data. I'm giving you some data. So William, he's been collecting men not just from Normandy, but from northern France.

He's sent out the call, come join me. England is very rich. There's lots of loot, right? The booty. It's got a really effective tax system. Oh. Who doesn't want that? He's also sent messages to the Pope.

The Pope has sent him a papal banner, which basically says you can go kill some Christians in England. He's really... We're back to the Pope's again, I'm right? We're back to the Pope's. He's building ships. He's mustering men, and he's provisioning them. So, in fact, because I said he's waiting for the wind,

the correct wind doesn't blow. He gets sort of stuck on the coast of Normandy for six weeks. Wow. And to do that, he has to be a really, really good administrator. He has to come up with food, fresh water and alcohol for men, maybe 10,000, 12,000 men, maybe 3,000 horses for about six weeks. So much alcohol for those horses. So much alcohol.

He also has to remove things from the camp. So if you've got, say, 3,000 horses somewhere for a month, how much poo do you think they would produce? That's a lot of poo. That's a lot of poo. I know. So one estimate says five million pounds of poo. Of poo?

Monetary value or? No. Literally. So he would have had to have a system to remove the poo. 700,000 gallons of. horse we had to be removed of urine

horse urine and horse poop is being extracted and 450 tons of human but how would you extract horse urine it's not like they've got urinals he's got to have like a whole system of bringing in food

and moving out waste so I think William's kind of achievements in this area are not fully acknowledged and they really ought to be so he's so organized yeah so 13th of October Harold and his forces are

sort of 10 miles you know they've come down to London they've had a few days They've had a few days in London. Harold's younger brothers say, don't fight. Don't fight or let us fight. Exactly. You stay here and we'll go fight for you.

And he says, no, no, no, I'm the king, it's my land. Yeah. So they march down on the 13th of October. They're 10 miles outside the Norman camp. They're preparing for battle. Where is the battle going to happen? Hastings. No.

No. Oh, no. And where is it happening? It happens at a place called battle. Battle. But only because we call it battle because where the battle happened. That's beautiful. Okay, that's like the Barack Obama Plaza,

which is a petrol station named after Barack Obama and Ireland. So it's about six and a half miles from Hastings. Exactly, exactly. There's a kind of ridge. It's quite rough ground. Right. It's kind of on the road to London. So the idea is William is kind of bringing his troops up out of this

sort of peninsula around Hastings. He's coming up towards London. Harold is coming down from London. He's going to block the advance. And Harold... They're commuting. They're commuting. Exactly.

Exactly. And Harold says... seizes the high ground as a kind of ridge through where there's an abbey, so Battle Abbey Ridge. He seizes the high ground, he puts his men in a kind of big war, we call it a shield wall. Right. And the idea is that

William and all his men are going to have to sort of charge up the hill and attack the war. And that's how they're going to take out Harold. Right. Which is extremely difficult to do. It's very difficult. And they try and they try and they try. They try. They try. They try. All day. Yeah. They try. This is one of the longest battles in medieval history.

Absolutely, which suggests actually they're very, very closely matched. Right. These two. So they're attacking, attacking the wall. They're sending arrows up over the wall back and forth, back and forth. Until there's a few times actually William, he fights on three horses. People keep kind of killing his horse. He keeps getting up and fighting again.

I'm fine. You know, at one point, like the rumor goes around. William is dead, right? Because he's fallen and he has to kind of raise his helmet and say, nope, I'm still here. Keep fighting. Dead horse. I'm not dead yet. But eventually there's an attack on the shield wall, the English troops.

The Normans fall back, or the Normans and their allies, fall back, and the English follow. And the cavalry comes and then and slaughters the guys who've run after him. So the English, they've given up the high ground. They've given up some of the high ground. And then the Normans come back around and just slaughter them. And then suddenly there's a chink in the wall, presumably there's a hole. And that's kind of, again, that's not it. Right.

It might have happened multiple times. William, presumably, he tried. attack, you know, retreat, attack, as we say, all day. Yeah. Until eventually, you know, the English are just kind of getting ground down. There's a final assault. We don't quite know what happens. But there's lots of arrows in the air.

Oh, there is. Oh, lovely little Harold. I love it. He's like, you did this to me. Our podcast artwork, 12 series in, finally makes sense. What an honor to be involved in this episode. Wow. So the story is Arrow in the Eye. So early sources say he was killed.

Yeah. Okay. Or other early sources say he was cut down by many wounds. Harold Rex infectus est. Exactly. That's what the Bay of Tapestry says. One very early source says, so William, William stabbed him in the chest.

William's mate got him through the stomach. Somebody else locked off his head. Oh, that's going to do it. And somebody else locked off his thigh, sometimes a euphemism, and walked away from the battle holding it. Right. Oh.

So maybe his thigh, maybe some other piece of anatomy near the thigh. The upper upper thigh. The upper upper thigh. His manhood. They ran off with his manhood as like a weird trophy. Yes. Only in the 12th century, three generations perhaps, after the battle, do we have stories of him being wounded by an arrow? And then he got wounded by the arrow, but then he fell from other wounds.

Yeah. And then the story kind of coalesces around this idea of he got it in the eye. By the 12th century, basically they're saying there was an arrow, there were loads of wounds, they ran off with his thigh, so you get poets kind of giving all the modes of death in one. And the famous by a tapestry, the arrow in the eye may be a 19th century restoration.

Indeed. It's probably not an arrow, and it's probably not in his eye. Oh, wow. So we're not sure. So Harold Godwinson has killed the Battle of Hastings. Yes. Harold Hadrada has already been killed. Tosti is killed.

So William is the full king, right? Last man standing. Yeah. So he marches on London. And everyone goes, all right, I guess you're the king. No, he pillages and burns. He does what he does best, right? This is very much his strength.

So he marches on Dover and Canterbury. He circles London. He crosses the Thames. Basically, so our Northern Earls, Morkard, Edwin, there's also the kind of last descendant of Ethelred the Unready. He's still kicking a boat. He's still not ready. About 100 years and I'm still...

It's still not ready. Everybody who could rebel basically kind of... They kind of all meet in Berkhamstead. So a nice community town. The classic meeting. The classic meeting point for 11th century conquest. Yeah. And they kind of all bow to William and they're like, okay, fine.

It's like a service station. I guess you've won. Exactly. And he is crowned king again in Westminster Abbey. Oh, that old chestnut. And it's still 1066. Yeah. This is all one year.

He's crowned king on Christmas Day. 1066. It's a Christmas miracle. The Christmas miracle. New King of England, new chapter. Yeah. So Edward the Confessor had died on January. 4th or 5th and the funeral was January 6th

and then on 25th of December we've got a new king brand new king brand new king three kings in one year wow I know and William also famously builds Battle Abbey as a big apology to God I'm so sorry about all the bloodshed

so there we go so a judge Spittle you know you've been given did the right man win William the conqueror well by the name you think it would wouldn't it because if he was called William the conquer and he didn't win it That's going to be bad for him. No, I'm from being frank, I'm very attached to Harald there.

Oh, okay. I quite fancy him even though I haven't seen him yet. But I was like, oh, he sounds great. Alfred, Alfred probably should have morally kept the kingdom. Harold? No. No, Alfred. No, he's longer.

Is he? May. You're getting confused on New York Kings? I'm getting destroyed here. I'm getting destroyed. It's a lot of names. You're right. Harold should have kept that.

I very much, the way I stand on this one. You're team Harold. I'm not so much team Harold morally, but like he just made an enormous blunder going to fight that battle. Because William had to, he had to come across all the ships, all the Navy. Do you think you to let the brothers to do it? Yeah, leave the brothers to do it. Because if you lose that battle, you get a second battle.

Yeah, that's true. And I'm glad Tosty's dead. So harsh on Tosty. The nuance window! Anyway, time now for the nuance window. This is where Alison and I embroidered her more historically accurate by your tapestry. Maybe it was more gooch action, I don't know, for two minutes, while Dr. Erin tells us something we need to know about the events of 1066. So I'm getting my

stopwatch up. Oh, gosh. And that's the wrong app. Sorry, that's my banking app. That's not helpful, is it? I bet your banking code is 1066. Must change it. No, it's not. Okay, so here we go. Two minutes. Dr. Erin Gareth, take it away. Okay. So we've talked about the arrow and how Harold was killed. Yes. so much carnage on the field of Hastings that actually rumors started to circulate afterwards that first they couldn't identify his body they had to get his his partner his his long-term life partner edith swanneck to come to the battlefields one neck indeed walk the battlefield looking for his body because only she could identify it because he'd been so hacked to pieces and also he was missing

very important parts of himself she's like i know that gooch i know it anywhere exactly and in fact so mutilated apparently was his body, that there were then later rumors that he had survived. And there's a wonderful story from maybe around 1,200 that he had been kind of spirited off the battlefield. And he'd been healed by, weirdly, an Arab woman who's kind of shown up at this point in Sussex, and nurses him back to life. He wanders the continent, and he comes back to England. It becomes a kind of hermit, a holy man. And actually kind of atones for all the bloodshed that way. And he kind of sits in his cell, kind of watching William the Conqueror go to church,

and he eventually dies many, many, many years later. And then William kind of hears about his death and says, who's that holy man that's died? And they're like, oh, Terrell Godmanson, didn't you know? And I think that tells us, you know, all these stories tell us that, in fact, the biggest myth about 1066 is that we think we know what happened

or that we can discover what happened. You know, if we dig at battle or somewhere else, if we read the sources again, if we rediscover, if we reread the Anglo-Saxon, Chronicle in a new way. We will know exactly what happened. And I don't think that's true. Battles are messy. Politics is messy. People are telling lots of different stories because they had many different experiences at this point. You have the Norwegians. You've got the English. You've got the Normans. You've got loads of different allies. You've got men, women, clerics,

peasants all experiencing these events differently. They all have a different story because they all have a different experience. So of course we have different versions of what happened in 1066. And I don't think that's a bad thing. That's a good reminder that we can't always know history, of course. And it's what makes it so fascinating, also frustrating if you try to write a book about it like I've just done. But it also makes it really fun. And that's okay. That's a lovely message. So Harold's still alive now, actually. That's what I took from out. He's actually just outside having cup of tea. It's like Elvis Presley

is in a chip shop in Sheffield or something like that Wow, that's incredible So like What is the most like prevalent kind of view Of that battle then Like

Yeah Which aspect Yeah Well from the headlines Of like It feels like It's like Harold messed up

And William won And that's I don't think Harold messed up Right It was a real Remember as Greg said This fight The battle

Lasted all day Most medieval battles lasted like an hour, maybe two. So the fact that it lasted... This is a tantric war. They were really closely matched. These guys, these were two, three incredibly good commanders. They were followed by men who believed in them, who fought very, very well, actually. It might just be that, you know, there was an arrow in the wrong place or Harold was wounded. You know, once the head guy is killed, the other guys give up, but it could have been any of them. It might just have been bad luck. So what do you know now? This is where we quiz Alison to see what she's learned.

Oh, gosh. And Alison is panicking. There's so many men. There's. Yeah, there weren't many women in the story. There's Matilda, there's Edith Swannneck. There's many Ediths. There's quite a lot of lads though, isn't it? Yeah, there's a lot of lads. I bet Edith Swannick was a looker. It was also called Edis the Fair Ah, very good Okay, I got ten questions for you Alison You feeling good? I think so, I think so, let's do it

Let's do it, let's do it Alright, question one Which English King died in January 1066 Sparking a Succession Crisis Edward the Confessor It was Question two, who were the three contestants for the English throne in 1066?

Harold there? Yeah Harold Yes, William Very good Question three What event happened on the same day as Edward's funeral

6th of January 1066 The Trump and the riots? No, no. Oh, wait, wait. Oh, wait, wait. Oh, wait, Tennessee. Sorry. Okay.

It was the coronation of Harold. It was. It was the combi event, wasn't it? Yes. Funeral and coronation. Although there were some similarities between you guys. Question four. While seeking support, which three foreign courts did Harold's exile brother Tosti visit trying to round up kind of invading pals?

Denmark. Yes. Norway. Yes. And, oh, cron. The first one? The first one, he was toasty. And it's like, oh.

France? Yeah, normally. Yeah, the eventual winner. Very good. Very good. I care a lot about this. Question five. Norse sources claim Harold did what with Duke William's wife, Matilda.

Oh, he talked to her all night long. He did. All night, yeah, yeah. Question six. It wasn't me. I was talking understile. Sorry. Question six.

Can you name the Yorkshire? battle in which Tosti and King Haralda Hadrada both died. Oh! Think of Chelsea Football Club. Samford Bridge. It was good, yeah. Question seven, how many days after the Battle of Stamford Bridge did the Norman's land? It was three. Very good.

Question eight, we don't know how King Harold died. Thank you, Erin, for that. But can you describe one version found in the sources? Arrow on the eye? Sure, or... Or in the thigh, in the upper upper thigh area. Exactly, but we don't really know. We don't know.

The poor guy died. Or he didn't. Oh, he might not happen. Question nine. Can you name the Abbey, King William founded to at... Oh, Westminster. Oh, King William founded to atone for his sins at the battle. Yeah, battle, absolutely very good.

Westminster was the other abbey, very good, you were listening. Question 10. For a perfect 10. On what date was King William crowned? 25th of December. Absolutely true. Alison, perfect score. Oh, sorry.

You even flung our... There he is. You flung our Harold, the question. the floor. Our little puppet. He's dead now. He's dead now. Well done, Alison.

Very good. Thank you very much. You seem happy. I am. I'm really competitive. I'm really competitive. Well done. Well done, Erin, for an excellent history lesson.

Listeners, of course, if you want more medieval history with Alison, check out our episode on the medieval popes. They were messy. Let's be honest. It's a very funny episode. Plus, of course, we have episodes on Emma of Normandy, who we talked about earlier. And we have one on the Bayer Tapestry artwork itself. Again, a fascinating episode, because there's lots we know and lots we don't.

If you've enjoyed the podcast, please subscribe to Your Dead to Me on BBC Sounds to hear the show 28 days earlier than anywhere else. And if you're outside the UK, you can listen at BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts. I just like to say a huge thank you to our guests in History Corner. We had the excellent Dr. Erin Gores from University College London. Thank you, Erin. Thank you so much. And in Comedy Corner, we had the amazing Alison Spittal. Thank you, Alison.

I'm so happy I'm here. I've got 10 out of 10. You did. You very well. And to you, lovely listener. Join me next time as we re-evaluate another historical grudge match. But for now, I'm off to go and offer myself as the half-English, half-French leader that this country needs to finally heal our divisions.

Bye! Your Dead to Me is a BBC Studios production for BBC Radio 4. This episode was written and produced by Dr. Emory Rose Price Goodfellow, me and series producer, Dr. Eminoghuse. The research was by John Norman Mason. The studio and edit production was by Steve Hanke, and the production coordinator was Jill Hugget. Hi there. I'm Dilly Carter.

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