You're Dead to Me - The Brontes

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Dead Funny History: The Brontës. Join historian Greg Jenner for a fast-paced, funny and fascinating journey through the lives of the Brontë sisters, Charlotte, Emily and Anne, three literary legends whose tragic family story inspired some of the greatest novels of the 19th century.This episode of Dead Funny History is packed with jokes, sketches and sound effects that bring the past to life for families and Key Stage 2 learners. From their Yorkshire parsonage to their tiny books written in doll-sized handwriting, the Brontës were bursting with creativity. But their lives were also filled with heartbreak, illness and rejection.Discover how the sisters used gender-neutral pen names to get published, how their brother Branwell tried (and mostly failed) to join in, and how their novels, Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights and Agnes Grey, were shaped by their real-life experiences as governesses, teachers and grieving siblings.Expect parodies, sketch comedy, and a quiz to test what you’ve learned. There’s a mournful bell for every tragic twist and a goat who’s surprisingly good at literary criticism. It’s history with heart, humour and high production value. Perfect for curious kids, families, and fans of You’re Dead To Me.Written by Jack Bernhardt, Gabby Hutchinson Crouch and Dr Emma Nagouse Host: Greg Jenner Performers: Mali Ann Rees and John-Luke Roberts Producer: Dr Emma Nagouse Associate Producer: Gabby Hutchinson Crouch Audio Producer: Emma Weatherill Researcher: Dr Emmie Rose Price Goodfellow Script Consultant: Dr Amber Regis Production Coordinator: Liz Tuohy Production Manager: Jo Kyle Studio Managers: Keith Graham and Andrew Garratt Sound Designer: Peregrine AndrewsA BBC Studios Production

Hello, welcome to Dead Funny History. I'm Greg Jenner. I'm a historian and I want to tell you about a cool family. The Bronte sisters wrote some of the most famous books of the 19th century. There was Charlotte Bronte who wrote the Gothic coming-of-age story Jane Eyre. I would always rather be happy than dignified. Anne Bronte, who wrote both Agnes Gray and the tenant of Wildfell Hall. He that dares not grasp the thorn should never grasp the rose. And Emily Bronte, who wrote the famous Gothic tragedy... Wuthering, Wuthering, Wuthering Heights. And also Brannwell! Oh, yeah, and their brother Bramwell Bronte, who... Well, I mean, Bramwell was also there.

Branwell! Their parents were Patrick and Mariah Bronte. Patrick, who was born in Ireland and moved to Yorkshire, wanted to be a writer too, but was never as good as his daughters. He did have one creative masterstroke, though, naming himself. Bronte with an umlaut. That's the two little dots above the E.

Now Bronte was more distinguished than the original family name. Pronte! Yeah, not sure the Pronti sisters has the same ring to it. Patrick worked as an ordained church minister, but he wasn't that straight-laced. When Mariah wrote to him

before they got married, she called him My dear, saucy pat. Patrick and Mariah had six children. There was Mariah, the eldest born in 1814, Elizabeth, Charlotte, Brunwell, Emily, and Anne, the youngest born in 1820. On the 20th of April 1820, the whole family moved to Howarth, a village in West Yorkshire, where they would live and write for most of their lives. Their house is so famous, it's called the Bronte Parsonage, and you can still visit it today. But if you've ever thought, gosh, these books by the... Brontes are so sad. I wonder where they got all their inspiration from. You're about to find out.

Oh, I can't wait to raise my six beautiful children with my wonderful husband, dear saucy putt. Oh, hang on a second. I just feel a tiny bit ill. Spoiler, we're going to be using that mournful bell sound effect a lot this episode. Mum Mariah died in 1821 and saucy pat tried to remarry, but never did. The children were raised by him and also by their aunt Elizabeth, who came to live with them. Hello, you can call me

saucy Pat. Yeah, that's not happening. Pat believed in education and sent the four older girls off to school so they'd be able to get decent jobs. Nice! Not that nice, actually. Sorry, the school was pretty horrid.

Welcome to your school. It's cramped. You all have to share the same. bed, it's riddled with disease and the food is horrible. Ew! Now get to work! And a thinly veiled version of this school better not turn up in any of your future book. Guess what?

It did. Oh no! Yeah, experts think it was the inspiration for Lowood School in Charlotte's Jane Eyre. While at school, Mariah and Elizabeth Bronte both caught a deadly lung disease called TB. They were rushed home, but tragically both died. Yeah, so much worse than being sent home for having the wrong trainers. Charlotte was now the eldest and took the responsibility seriously. Patrick and Aunt Elizabeth now educated the children at home,

and they did a brilliant job. The girls... And me, Branwell, I was there too! Right, yeah, sorry. They learned painting, sewing, reading, and they read everything. The Bible, Shakespeare, political magazines, science books, children's books, and they started to write.

Once Upon a Time. I don't know if you've ever made up stories with your siblings or friends, but the Bronte kids created whole fantasy worlds together and wrote adventure novels about them in tiny, doll-sized books using teeny-weeney handwriting. Once upon a day! These books still exist today. day and you can see them, or at least you can, if you squint. Eventually, Charlotte went back to school,

but returned after 18 months to take charge of her sister's education and at one point got a job teaching at her old school, so she must have really loved teaching. I hated it. It left me a shattered wretch. When pupils interrupted my daydreams for a lesson, I wanted to vomit. Charlotte then tried being a governess, which is just looking after a rich family's kids. Hated that too. Emily also tried teaching. I thought the kids were awful. I preferred the school dog. And Anne also briefly worked as a governess. Terrible. The kids were spoiled brats.

We were not. You better not use a thinly veiled version of your time as a governess in one of your books. She did in Agnes Gray. Oh, come on. But fair enough, teaching is tough and they didn't even have to dress up for World Book Day. At this point, it would have made sense if all of the sisters had done. just said, Teaching's not for us. Let's pack it in and write our books.

But no, they said, We'll set up our own school. Emily and Charlotte went to Brussels in Belgium to learn how to do it, where Charlotte might have fallen in love with a married schoolmaster. Ah, my enemy, if you could not use this experience in any of your books, if you please? Yeah, she did in the novel Villette. Sacrableu.

Setting up the school was a bit of a nightmare, Made all the worse when Aunt Elizabeth sadly died in 1842. Understandably, Charlotte had a bit of a breakdown a few years later. Oh, great material for my books. The school ended up not happening. And that is when they finally said, Let's pack it in and write books. And maybe I, Brenwell, will do stuff too.

Sure, Bramow. Talented as they were, the sisters hit White. major snag when it came to getting published. Sexism! Since it was much harder to get published as a woman, the sisters used fake gender-neutral names. Charlotte worried it might be unfairly tricking people, but it was necessary. So Charlotte wrote as... Parra Bell. Emily wrote as... Ellis Bell. And Anne wrote as... Acton Bell. And I'll be me! Branwell!

Branwell didn't have to use a fake name. Branwell just wanted to join in. Fair enough. The sisters published their first set of poems. Ooh, how many copies did it sell? 800, 900. Two. Only 200?

No, just two copies. What? But the critics loved it, and that's what really counts. Oh, is it, Greg? Is it really? In 1847, the sisters sent out novels to publishers, including the now super famous Agnes Gray and... Wothering. Wuthering, Wuthering Heights.

And these masterpieces were rejected. A lot. So cold! Finally, Emily and Anne found a publisher for those books. But the deal was not great. £50. Well, that's a lot of money in our time. No, the sisters had to pay the publishers £50,

each to get their books published. Oh, what? That's not how selling stuff works. But at least Charlotte had a bit of luck. A publisher encouraged her to send in a different book, and she'd already been working on Jane Eyre. In it went, and it was published that year, and was an instant hit.

Hooray! Anne's books didn't do as well, and she doesn't get remembered as much, despite being a great writer. Critics were especially mean about the tenant of Wildfell Hall, saying it was too coarse and immoral. Come on, why is everyone being so mean to me?

Me, Anne Bronte. I mean, Acton Bell. But it did sell much better than her first book. And that is what really counts. Is it, Greg? Is it really? As for Emily, despite Wuthering Heights now being one of the most famous and best-selling novels ever... Oh, it gets dark.

It does get dark. Emily didn't see any of that success. She received no royalty payments. And what about me? Branwell. As for Bramwell, he told me. taught a bit, had a few poems published, and as an artist, made one famous painting. Yes, Branwell time!

It's mostly famous because it's a portrait of his sisters. Still taking it as a win! And he got kicked out of a teaching job for having an affair with his boss's wife. Yeah, that's probably enough about Branwell. Let's get back to my cool sisters. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, man. Poor Branwell died, probably of TB on the 24th of September 1848. Branwell, unwell. Sadly, at Bramwell's funeral, Emily caught a cold.

Oh, I feel a tiny bit ill. Which turned out to be TB. And... They told me I was going to lose the fight. She died quickly on the 19th of December 1848. It then became clear that Anne, you guessed it, also had TB. Not another one! But hold the mournful bell, because in May 1849, Anne, Charlotte and their friends,

and Ellen went to the beach in Scarborough. Do people ever tell you that fresh air will make you better? That was the idea. But sadly, sea air doesn't cure TB. And poor Anne died in Scarborough on the 28th of May, just a few days after arriving. Charlotte had Anne buried there, and Charlotte was now left on her own with their father,

the only surviving Bronte sibling, age just 33. What was poor Charlotte to do? Well, she wrote. Charlotte published her novel Shirley in October 1849. She had written it around the time of her siblings' deaths, and she became a bit of a celeb in writing circles. Although she was way too quiet and anxious to actually enjoy it. Don't look at me, I'm shy.

But she did make a really good friend in the famous author Elizabeth Gaskell, which would become important later on. Charlotte also edited her sister's books and tried to boost their reputation even after they were dead. Despite Charlotte's belief that she would never marry, she actually ended up getting hitched to Arthur Bell Nichols, which was a drama worthy of one of her books, given that he was a churchman, and saucy Pat, her dad, was his boss. Not saucy Arthur. The two of them moved in with Patrick in 1855, in a living arrangement that definitely wasn't incredibly all. Yeah, this is super normal, just my daughter and son-in-law slash fellow minister living with me.

Soon, Charlotte was expecting her first baby. After all that tragedy, things are finally looking good for us, darling daughter. Just feel a tiny bit ill. No. Charlotte tragically died on the 31st of March 1855, aged only 38. Two years after her death, her friend, Elizabeth Gaskell, published a story of Charlotte's life, and the family became hugely famous. In the years since, their books have sold millions of copies.

Been turned into plays, blockbuster films, and even into a hit pop song. Wuthering, Wuthering, Wuthering. You get the picture, Greg. Yeah, that one, by Kate Bush. No one will ever forget the brilliant Bronte sisters. Charlotte, Emily and Anne. Or you, Branwell. Branwell. So, how much do you remember from today's speedy history lesson?

Let's find out. Pensils at the ready. Question one. Name one of the sisters fake gender neutral names. Alice and Acton Bell. Question two. What is the name of the often forgotten Bronte brother? Benwell! Question three.

What was the name of Emily Bronte's only, completed novel, now a famous song by Kate Bush. Wuthering, Wuthering, Wuthering, Wuthering Heights. Well done. Join us next time for another snappy history lesson. Thank you for listening. Bye. This was a BBC Studios audio production for Radio 4. Dead Funny History was written by Jack Bernhardt, Gabby Hutchson Crouch and Dr. Emine Agus. The researcher was Dr. Emmy Rose Price Goodfellow. It was hosted by me, Greg Jenner, and performed by Malian Reese and John Luke Roberts. consultant was Dr. Amber Regis.

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