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Stand Up Comedian Benedict Polizzi gives listeners horrendous advice

221 episodes transcribed
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Comedy

wild superstitions

Episode Date: November 18, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ...

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Comedy

biggest lie you've been told

Episode Date: November 11, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ...

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Comedy

normal things that make u wanna die

Episode Date: November 4, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ...

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Comedy

most scared you've ever been

Episode Date: October 28, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ...

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Comedy

red flags u can't ignore ๐Ÿšฉ

Episode Date: October 21, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ...

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Comedy

dumbest way you almost died

Episode Date: October 14, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ...

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Comedy

what are you the Michael Jordan of?

Episode Date: October 7, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ...

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Comedy

worst accidental text

Episode Date: September 30, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ...

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Comedy

hill that you'll die on

Episode Date: September 22, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ...

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Comedy

cup face

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ...

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Comedy

carwashes plz calm down

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ...

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Comedy

100m dash of ppl u hate

Episode Date: September 1, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—บ...

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Comedy

fingertips in the freezer

Episode Date: August 25, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—บ...

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Comedy

eat crust or die

Episode Date: August 18, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—บ...

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Comedy

eating your contacts

Episode Date: August 11, 2021

๐Ÿ”’ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—น๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐˜€ ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™š๐™  (๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—บ) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—บ...

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Comedy

me in jail

Episode Date: August 4, 2021

โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw ๐Ÿ”น๐™™๐™ค๐™ฃ'๐™ฉ ๐™›๐™ค๐™ง๐™œ๐™š๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ง๐™–๐™ฉ๐™š & ๐™ง๐™š๐™ซ๐™ž๐™š๐™ฌ ;) on...

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Comedy

creepy coaches

Episode Date: July 28, 2021

โ™ฆ๏ธ ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw ๐Ÿ”น๐™™๐™ค๐™ฃ'๐™ฉ ๐™›๐™ค๐™ง๐™œ๐™š๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ง๐™–๐™ฉ๐™š & ๐™ง๐™š๐™ซ๐™ž๐™š๐™ฌ ;) th...

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Comedy

helping people move

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

โ†’ ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw โ†’ ๐——๐—ผ๐—ป'๐˜ ๐—™๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐˜ ๐—ง๐—ผ ๐—ฅ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ & ๐—ฅ๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜„! On this shot Ben anonymously goe...

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Comedy

things you wish you knew

Episode Date: July 15, 2021

this week Bennie talks about the things you wish you knew when you were younger (หกโฑแตแต‰ สณแต‰แตƒหกโฑแถปโฑโฟแต สธแต’แต˜'สณแต‰ แต‡โฑหขแต‰หฃแต˜แตƒหก แดฎแดฑแถ แดผแดฟแดฑ สธแต’แต˜ แตแต‰แต— แตแตƒสณสณโฑแต‰แตˆ๐Ÿ‘€) he...

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Comedy

cone tiddies

Episode Date: July 7, 2021

๐ŸšจOG ESPRESSO๐Ÿšจ Ben has Barstool's @JoeyMulinaro on the pod to discuss the Spress question of the week: biggest mistakes you've made but didn...